Second Supper Newspaper Issue 146

Free Volume 9

Issue 146 January 15, 2009

Inauguration 2009 Art By Mason Fetzer

Table of Contents Maria says hola to Peru.

A Gene Theory examined: It's alright to be Selfish.

Rick Warren at the Inauguration: Should we be outraged?

In an Obama World...

SS dreams what could happen Dear Mr. President: Letters to Bush and Obama

6 305 Pearl St. Downtown La Crosse

7 8 9

Editor-in-Chief: Adam Bissen Copy Editor: Briana Rupel

copyeditor@secondsupper.com

benjamin.clark@secondsupper.com

9

11

Cover: "The Road Ahead" by Mason Fetzer Table of Contents:"Announcing Hope Again" by Bask Page 9: "Untitled" by Billi Kid Second Supper vol. 9, issue 146

Editorial Staff

Student Editor: Ben Clark

Tip the Van, Streetlight Manifesto, and Reel Big Fish...

Ska at the Epic!

12 Art credits:

mike.keith@secondsupper.com

adam.bissen@secondsupper.com

Something's Rotten in Minnesota: The race for the senate seat goes on 10 Road Trippin' in D.C.

Publisher: Mike Keith

Contributors Jacob Bielanski Adam Bissen Erich Boldt Nicholas Cabreza Benjamin Clark Andrew Colston Ashly Conrad Brett Emerson

Emily Faeth Shuggypop Jackson Maria Pint Radar Briana Rupel Kelly Sampson Rick Serdynski Noah Singer

Sales Associates Blake Auler-Murphy 608-797-6370 blake.auler-murphy@secondsupper.com

Mike Keith 608-782-3755 mike.keith@secondsupper.com 5,000 Second Suppers can be found weekly in over 300 locations in La Crosse, WI & Winona,MN

Free-Range Media www.secondsupper.com

19th Annual

January 23, 24, 25 2009 At The La Crosse Center

:Show Hours: Fri. 4 pm - 10 pm, Sat. 10:30 AM - 10 PM, Sun. 10:30 AM - 7 PM Open to the public (may not be suitable for children.)

Admission at the door, $12 Day pass / $30 Weekend Pass tattoo competition-award winning tattoo artists-body piercing-leatherjewelry-live entertainment featuring Vatican PX, Undercover WareLive Suspension Show-Sahara Desert Belly Dancers Reminds you to support the retailers, restaurants, taverns and bands that support us. We are funded solely by advertising so if you want to support us, support them!

conscientious commerce: BARACK WOULD DO IT.

January 15, 2008

Social Networking

the top

Second Supper’s finally on the social networking bandwagon, with a whole chain of townies to answer our deliciously revealing questions.

Each week, the interviewee will name someone they're connected to, who will become the next person interviewed, and so it shall continue.You see? We really are all connected.

Things we can't get our minds off of

NAME AND AGE: Dirk Dannhof, 30

Things we actually like about winter

BIRTHPLACE: La Crosse, Wis.

1. Sledding 2. Scarves 3. Getting to use the fireplace 4. Sipping on Tom & Jerrys and Irish coffees to stay warm 5. City lights reflecting off of the snow at night 6. Using it as an excuse. For everything.

7. Snow days

CURRENT JOB: Manage Pro Skate & Snowboard and Coalition Skate Park/Photographer DREAM JOB: Getting paid to snowboard

3 BOOKS YOU’D TAKE TO PRISON: Complete Dr Seuss collection; The Original Grimm's Fairy Tales; Dictionary

COVETED SUPERPOWER: Laser vision

TELL US A JOKE: The Pope, a Jewish boy and Slash have a who's got the best hat contest...

DREAM VACATION: Surfing Tahiti's waves or snowboarding in Japan

3 CDs YOU’D TAKE ON A ROAD TRIP: Any Rage Against the Machine; Sublime; Dead Milkmen

FAVORITE LOCAL RESTAURANT: Ralph's

IF YOU COULD PLAY ANY INSTRUMENT PERFECTLY, WHAT WOULD IT BE? Caribbean Steel Drums

FAVORITE BAR IN TOWN: Animal House 3 MOVIES YOU’D TAKE ON A DESERTED ISLAND: Waynes World;Vivid Video's Best Porno Bloopers Vol. 2; and either Step Brothers or Blades of Glory CITY OR COUNTRY? Country

WHAT IS IN YOUR POCKETS RIGHT NOW? $5 and a cell phone HOW DO YOU KNOW JEFF SHIRLEY, WHO WAS NOMINATED BUT TOO SCARED TOO PARTICIPATE? He's a top-notch bartender at John's Bar and an old roommate.

Board games 1. Scrabble 2. Trivial Pursuit 3. Apples to Apples 4. Rummikub 5. Jenga 6. Cranium 7. Taboo

Your community owned natural foods store 315 Fifth Ave. So. La Crosse,WI tel. 784.5798 www.pfc.coop

open daily 7 am–10 pm

Second Supper vol. 9, issue 146

1. The upcoming season premiere of Lost 2. The Inauguration 3. Payday 4. Spring 5. And summer, at that 6. The opposite sex 7. Comfort food

organics • deli with vegetarian, vegan, gluten-free selections, fabulous soups & interesting sandwiches • fair trade coffee & tea • bakery • specialty cheeses • local products • fresh, local, & conventional produce • wine & beer • vitamins • cosmetics • health & beauty • floral • housewares and so much more ...

Letter from the Editor

Do this

You know it’s been an eventful electoral cycle when a Tuesday afternoon presidential inauguration is inciting people to party. And I don’t just mean party. I mean totally effing rage.

Our friend Jacob gave us the idea for this issue months ago. Sure, we probably could’ve come up with this topic on our own, but when he asked us at the end of November, “Hey, is Second Supper throwing an inauguration party?” we realized that January 20 would be a day of note for more than just Poli Sci majors. It’s full-on democracy get down! I know scads of people having inauguration parties next week — just not us.

Don’t get me wrong, Second Supper still knows how to rage, but please don’t come storming our office on Tuesday looking to hit the beer bong. That’s one of our two or three genuine work days, and besides, you should be celebrating the event with loved ones or close political confidants. (Barring that, go party at Howie’s Bye-Bye Bush Blowout! See ad, page 7.) Also, less we forget, Second Supper is always a party to go.

For this issue, we set our minds to the future. That seems to be the mood of the country right about now, but after eight years of George W. Bush and Barack Obama’s victorious mantra of change, why would anyone choose to be stuck in the past? Elsewhere in this issue, Emily Faeth examines Obama’s first real controversy as president, his choosing the fundamentalist — and, depending on whom you ask, homophobic — minister Rick Warren to give the inaugural invocation.Those lucky enough to be heading to Washington D.C. for the inauguration should heed Jacob Bielanski’s travel guide, but he also paints a good picture for those of us who will be at home watching on our televisions.

So read this issue, phone up your friends, pull out the Champaign, and set your TiVos. America, it’s time to party.

No matter how you voted last November, we’ve all got the same leader now, so get up with your neighbors and raise a toast to a better tomorrow. What better way to celebrate the American Dream? — Adam Bissen

WHAT: 23rd Annual Winter Rec-Fest WHEN: January 14 - January 25 WHERE:Various La Crosse locales COST: Rec-Fest Button available at all Quillin's stores, with some activities requiring additional costs

Mounds of snow have fallen, temperatures have plateaued in the single digits, and we all know a loved one who has biffed it on the ice in 2009 alone.Though we here in the Coulee Region are yet again being smothered in the depths of winter, these signs point to a little light at the end of the tunnel: The Winter Rec-Fest is here! Spring is on its way!

OK, maybe I took it a little too far there, but the fest does make the winter seem more bearable. At least you'll stay warm while keeping your blood pumping at a co-rec volleyball or softball tourney. Being outdoors in the frigid air not your thing? (Mine either.) Then put those skills your grandpa taught you to use and sign up for a Sheepshead or Euchre tournament (Hey Park & Rec! Where's the Scrabble tourney? I'll be looking for it next year...) Through the 25th, they'll also be a figure skating exhibition, a torchlight ski, hockey jamboree, fireworks, and — let's face it — it wouldn't be a Wisconsin fest without a fish fry. The Rec-Fest has got you covered with this and more. So bust out of your winter slumber and warm up at the Fest! — Briana Rupel For a detailed schedule of events, times, and places, check out www.cityoflacrosse.org, or call Park & Rec at 608-789-7533.

January 15, 2008

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Second Supper vol. 9, issue 146

Hola, Peru!

By Maria Pint

maria.pint@secondsupper.com Hola from Peru! My sister and I are sitting in an Internet café right now so I figured I`d send the Second Supper a little update on my life/ trip. However, I`m going to warn you right now that this keyboard is wicked sticky so the “t” and the space bar get stuck a lot. Also, I am potentially the world`s worst speller and this computer does spell check in Spanish. I hope my editing team is reeaaddyy! (Editor's note: We try.)

The whole language barrier has been interesting enough thus far in the trip. Luckily, we tend to deal mostly with people who are used to tourists so they speak Spanglish, I speak Spanglish, and everyone gets what they want.

We run into trouble when we venture away from the touristy parts of Peru though.

We`ve spent all of our time (a week thus far) in Cusco which has been pretty good. The only problem I have with Cusco, and I guess Peru in general, is that it`s freaking hilly and the elevation is way higher than the Midwest.

Every time I climb ten stairs or so, I have to stop to catch my breath. It`s pathetic and embarrasing, especially since all of the native Peruvians bound up the same sets of stairs like they`re llamas or alpacas. Which, for the record, I want to steal a llama or alpaca because they are the cutest creatures ever created.

Anyhow, back to the point: I can`t speak Spanish very well. I took three years of Spanish in high school and of course I passed with flying colors then. But that was a while ago and I`m pretty much a teacher`s pet anyway, so I never was very good at speaking the language to begin with.

Turns out that three years after any sort of formal Spanish instruction, I still do not speak the language well either. And my sister?

She is hopeless; the most she can say is “gracias” and “hola.” Like I said, it`s been muy interesante (some of the few Spanish words I know, thank you).

We decided to take a day trip to a little town in the Sacred Valley a few days ago because my sister wanted to visit some salt mines. Yeah, she`s a geologist so she likes minerals and rocks and stuff like that; I get dragged along for the ride, lucky me. So we found a taxi there for about ten US dollars, which wasn`t bad seeing as how it was an hour-long car ride.

Once we got there, we quickly realized that we were the only gringos (Editor's note: gringas) in sight. No one spoke English and I think that a lot of them spoke some sort of native language and not even Spanish at all.Then we had to find a cab to take us to the salt place. Again, muy interesante.

I`m pretty sure that when I tried to tell the guy we wanted to walk around the salt pans for a few hours and he should wait for us, I actually said that we wanted to “train track” around Las Salinas for one or two hours and he should go swim. Obviously there was some miscommunication because he was not waiting for us when we got done. My high school Spanish teacher would be so disappointed.

So there we were, along the side of a highway waiting for the taxi that was not coming back…

And I am getting so pissed because this damn Spanish spell check keeps auto correcting my words into Spanish ones! Sorry, just thought I would let you guys know that, because I`m sure you care and all.

Anyways, we finally see a different taxi and flag him down. I said Urubamba (the town we needed to get to, the one we came from) and he said Ollantaytambo. Say them aloud and say them very very quickly and you will see how I got them confused.

We ended up in Ollantaytambo needless to say. It`s about a half hour further down the valley which was sweet. So we had lunch there, it was very nice but just not the town we intended to spend our day in.

As if all of the Spanish-speaking people trying to confuse me weren't enough, I`m really getting sick of all of the Americans we run into.We shared a cab from Ollantaytambo with two yoga instructors from California (gag me), and they would not shut up. They also had to rub it in our faces that they were completely fluent in Spanish, so that was nice.

Then last night we were at a bar having a drink, just minding our own business, when another Californian started a conversation with us. He was a pistachio (spelling? I know that one`s wrong) farmer and I really could have cared less about his life. But he was traveling alone and was, you guessed it, lonely. I just don`t understand! I did not come all the way to Peru to make friends with people from California; if I wanted friends from California, I would go there.

Well my hour is almost up, so I better say adiós (again, one of the few words I know in Spanish). I`m going to go back to the Plaza de Armas and avoid all people who look like they could be English-speaking.

Again, wish me luck for the rest of the trip SS!

the Selfish Gene

Y Marks

the Spot

By Brett Emerson

brett.emerson@secondsupper.com Back in 1963, a comic book guy named Charles Xavier rolled around in his wheelchair and wrote the book on “differently abled.” As what his creator Stan Lee dubbed a Mutant — a blanket label with a scope ranging from chesty telepaths to five-assed monkeys — Professor X led a crusade for equality that was unprecedented in comic book history. Lee’s intention in this landmark title was to mirror the current struggles of the Civil Rights Movement, with Xavier filling the role of Martin Luther King Jr., and his friend and nemesis Magneto playing the reactionary side of Malcolm X. Throughout its history, through its great and not-so-great story arcs, the mutants have held a unique status of being dyed-in-the-wool heroes who don’t quite get along with those they protect. (An argument could be made for Batman being the forerunner of outcast heroes, but then again, why is he in the Justice League — and why was he played by Adam West?) As opposed to the cheers heard at the end of most Golden Age comics, the X-men are as often as not pelted with bottles and run out of town by mobs and killer robots. The obvious reason why is because they’re different, other, freaks.

This ongoing theme of bigotry and nobility in spite of it has resonated with the public, and has made the X-men one of the top comic franchises in history, and for good reason. But there has always been a problem with the series, one which has grown more obvious in recent years as storylines in the Marvel Universe have grown more Orwellian.

Let’s start at the beginning. Our pal Chuck operates his team of young superheroes within the veneer of an academy for “Gifted Youngsters.” Now, we all know what gifted means in this case; Chuck’s running a safe haven for mutants, where they can feel safe and learn to control their powers, when they’re not rising (en masse, it seems) to save the world and make it more tolerant. Much is made of Xavier’s King-like dream of peace between mutants and non-mutants.

So here’s the problem:Why doesn’t Chuck teach non-mutants? In reality, any norms who show up on campus are as out of place as the token black kid on South Park (appropriately

enough named Token). You’d think that making a mutant school open to non-mutants would be a significant step toward unity and reconciliation. Nope. Instead, this school is insular and, ultimately, a defensive construct. With all the bastards trying to kill Chuckie and the Gang, walling up like this is partially justified. Nonetheless, making a school that preaches tolerance mutants-only throws the baby out with the bathwater, denies normies the opportunity to mingle with the freaks and realize that they’re not all that bad. Wasn’t integration a crucial aspect of the Civil Rights Movement?

The X-men could have faced a George Wallace-like villain who stood in front of the XMansion, refusing to let non-mutants in. Would have been a blast.

I’ll give you a nerd catch-up on the present. In recent storylines, the mutants have suffered mass genocide at the hands of giant robots, after which the not-quite-dead Magneto became a Che Guevara T-shirt. His daughter went crazy, created an alternate Happyland where Magneto rules, but then all-but erased mutants, leaving less than 200 on the planet.

It’s here where the X-men (who, of course, emerge unscathed) become their most insular and paranoid, dropping almost all greater altruism in favor of keeping the laser beam dodo alive. The team’s heroism becomes more narrow and embattled, focused solely upon events’ effects upon its own people.While this isn’t totally out of line, there’s more than a little persecution complex bigotry here, which ruins the original dream of peace and harmony.

This is a problem caused by the taking of sides, of a social Selfish Gene Theory.

The saying which comes to mind in explaining this is, appropriately enough, an Arab proverb: “Me against my brother, my brother and I against our cousin, and my brother, cousin, and I against the stranger.” As humans following (mostly invented) differences, each person finds their cultural niche, their side, which fulfills both the need to belong and the need to have enemies. The person as individual and the urge for self-preservation are obscured and replaced with delusions of serving the greater good, turning saints into monsters and martyrs.

We’re seeing this play out in Gaza, where Israel and Palestine are abusing eons of history to mandate their current savagery against each other. We’ve seen it play out in our politics, where the two-party system has created an either/or, top/down mentality. We see it in the selective acknowledgment of atrocities perpetuated throughout the globe. We see it in the absurdity of asserting that an all-loving God would have a chosen people. We see it every time someone brings any form of social category into play. A friend and I once agreed that, should the current forms of bigotry someday come to an end, humans will simply move on to hating each other based on what entertainment one consumes.

A life defined by social categories and mass-market ideals is one lacking in vitality. It’s alright to be selfish; self is critical, original, the vendor of hope. Bratty entitlement and greed are different, equally as dangerous as factioning.

But each life is lived alone. In this, the only sides that matter are inside and outside. The balance between determines everything.

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Olive branch to a homophobe?

By Emily Faeth

emily.faeth@secondsupper.com President-elect Barack Obama's decision to invite pastor Rick Warren to deliver the invocation at the upcoming presidential inauguration has caused quite an uproar among many of the former senator's supporters. Warren, leader of the evangelical Saddleback Church and author of The Purpose Driven Life, who is well known for his fundamentalist beliefs, appears a strange choice of invitee for the liberal president-to-be.

Indeed, many of Obama's gay and lesbian supporters, as well as many others, are positively outraged by Obama's invitation to Warren.

While Obama's choice may be baffling to many, the president-elect stands by his decision, and it appears as though his defense may, after all, be winning over those disgruntled by the invitation.

The protests against Warren's appearance at Obama's inauguration are not without good reason.Warren was an active supporter of California's recently passed Proposition 8, which changed the state's definition of marriage to a union between opposite-sex couples and nullified the state's previous ruling allowing gay marriage. Said Warren regarding the proposition, "There are about 2 percent of Americans who are homosexual or gay and lesbian people.

We should not let 2 percent of the population change the definition of marriage." While this opinion may be frustrating for supporters of gay marriage, his comparison of homosexuality with incest and pedophilia is far more infuriating. And though Warren has lately tried to clean up his image by removing the more flagrantly anti-gay language from the Saddleback Web site and posing for convenient photo-ops with gay activists, he maintains his opposition to equal rights for gays and lesbians and remains, for many, Public Enemy Number One. In response to the outcry at his choice of Warren, Obama defended his decision by saying, "We’re not going to agree on every single issue, but what we have to do is to be able to create

Second Supper vol. 9, issue 146

an atmosphere where his future decisions regarding equal rights for Socialist Worker, it's common for Democrats we ... can disagree with- LGBT individuals. Rather, "I think he's emulat- to reach out to this segment of the populaout being disagreeable ing what he wants everyone in America to do. tion, often at the risk of offending their base, and then focus on those You have to come together on your similarities because they can become comfortable in the things that we hold before working on your differences," she says. notion that they have secured support from in common as Ameri- "I can understand people ... being disappointed the Left. But St. Sauver feels that in this case, cans." Far from being in his selection, but I can also see [that] he has Obama's inclusion of Warren isn't simply a pooblivious to the poten- a connection with that person. Just like I have litical maneuver to win-over an alienated Relitial discord an invita- people in my life who don't necessarily agree gious Right. "I think it's a way for him to ... invite tion to Warren might with my sexual orientation, but they still care that particular segment of the population to be cause, Obama also ap- about me, and they're still involved in my life," included an historic election and to help bridge pears to have predicted continues St. Sauver. "How are we going to cre- some of the differences. There are some things this complication, and ate change if we can't include the community that [Obama and Warren] do agree wholeheartedly on, like AIDS prevention. So I think has extended an olive as a whole?"

While members of the LGBT community there's groundwork there to build on and to branch of sorts to the LGBT community. Not may be warming once again to Obama, they're establish better relationships."

And indeed, perhaps Obama's intentions only will the Lesbian not taking for granted that he will ensure the and Gay Band Asso- expansion of equal rights to same-sex couples. for this controversial invitation do transcend ciation (a musical group January 10 marked the nationwide DOMA the usual political-maneuver-machine. Scrollcomprised of members protest, which included an open letter to the ing through various forums — LGBT, Leftist, from across the coun- president-elect reminding him of the prom- religious and Right — offers a rare glimpse of try) be the first group ises he made to the LGBT community. Its goal harmony among the opinions of each group's of its kind to march in was to garner 1 million signatures, a tally that respective members. Individuals from both Obama's inaugural pa- has yet to be publicized as of this writing. And sides of the socio-political fence are commendrade; Obama has also ironically, support for the abolition of DOMA ing Obama on his choice; even more amazing, invited Gene Robinson, is coming from both sides: Bob Barr, the former perhaps, is the lack of outcry that can be obAmerica's first openly Georgia congressman who authored the act, is served in response to Obama's inclusion of the gay Episcopal bishop, to now calling for its removal from the books, as Lesbian and Gay Band Association and the gay well (though for more political than social rea- bishop — a choice that, had it been made by offer a prayer at an inaugural event. anyone but Obama, would undoubtedly have Obama is no stranger to the gay and les- sons).

Warren's inclusion in the inauguration is not led to much outrage from the more fundamenbian issues. Early on in his bid for presidency, the senator from Illinois sent an open letter an anomalous example of a Democrat pander- talist among us. Instead, many of the blog posts to the LGBT community, vowing to overturn ing to the Religious Right. Indeed, it was Presi- from both sides appear strangely identical: one the Defense of Marriage Act (DOMA), which dent Bill Clinton who, in 1996, signed DOMA observes, mostly, a proliferation of words such allows states to deny recognition of same-sex into law, and who was prominently displayed as "cooperation," "understanding," and "commarriages that may be acknowledged in oth- praying with the extreme right-wing Rev. Billy munication." er states and denies recognition of same-sex Graham. As Elizabeth Schulte points out in the marriage by the federal government; he also agreed to pass the Matthew Shepard Act, which would include crimes against LGBT individuals under the hatecrime umbrella. Obama also pledged to pass the Employment Non-Discrimination Act, which would ban workplace discrimination against individuals based on sexual orientation or gender expression or identity. Obama's letter also professed his support for full civil unions and full Great Study less e adoption rights r i W Environment right Free for all individuals, ! t e n r e regardless of sexacross from Int ual orientation.

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In an Obama World...

-New cabinet position created: Secretary of Funk.

-All coffee will be fair trade.

-Facebook and MySpace profiles required to prove citizenship.

-Children born this year say "ummm, gee, thanks..." after being handed the massive bill to cover Obama's economic stimulus plan.

-Paris, Lindsey, and Britney throw massive tantrums as paparazzi abandon them to hang outside Sasha and Malia's school.

-Massive government initiative proposed to begin including arugula in the menus of public schools.

-United Auto Workers bum rush the White House after Obama declares all U.S. auto plants are to close unless they solely produce hybrids.

-Dick Cheney shadow government replaced by Oprah shadow government.

-Law passed to ban words such as bromance, blondetourage, frenemies, and mankini from the American lexicon, or so Shuggypop hopes.

-Nike introduces new Obama basketball shoe.

-Ivory tower academia elitists become even more smug (who knew this was possible?) as their pontifications become government policies.

-Hugo Chavez and the Castro brothers celebrate socialist political dominance in the Western Hemisphere.

-Joe the Plumber releases book to record low sales, rivaling Kevin Federline's CD as the biggest head-scratcher asking "What corporate exec thought there would be an audience for this?" Said exec will be given a $20 million bonus regardless.

-Saul Alinski literature assigned as required reading to all Obama cabinet members.

Meanwhile, Saul Alinski reference goes over the heads of 96 percent of Second Supper readers.

-Obama often heard muttering after another long day at the office "Why didn't I just stick to being a best-selling author?"

-McCain ad prophecy is realized when Obama's "big government" plan includes the construction of a giant tower that casts a shadow on the American landscape.

Americans fail to care, as construction of said tower creates millions of federal jobs.

-January 21, 2009 — Government employees will show up to collect any household firearms; Ted Nugent suffers 2nd-amendment-induced priapism.

-Obama implements weekly poetry readings in the White House. (He actually mentioned this.)

-Hannah Montana paraphernalia gather dust on shelves, while tweens stock up on Malia and Sasha merchandise.

-Businesses are required to provide daily yoga sessions for all workers.

-Rachel Ray becomes White House chef.

-Absentee fathers start showing up at their kid's homes, unplug the video games, and nightly read Harry Potter bedtime stories to their children.

-Hillary's pantsuits declared as "shlumpadinka," the Makeover Guy is called in, Bill for the first time ever finds Hillary attractive.

-"Apple bottom," "junk in the trunk,","ba-donion," and "witness the thickness" are just some of the words commonly overheard said about Michelle.

-Obama finally admits he doesn't know a damn thing about Kansas despite campaign ads trying to link him to there.

-With the aid of his new Nobel Prize-winning Secretary of Energy Steven Chu, the Obama administration discovers a completely renewable and pollution-free alternative energy source that can make the world go round: love.

-Americans are finally able to travel overseas again without having to be apologetic.

-Hip-hop's luminaries beef over foreign policy and economics. Things turn violent when The Cash Money Millionaires clash with members of Irrational Xuberance.

-People will still talk shit about Mexicans.

-Michelle Obama's favorite clothing designer Maria Pinto frequently asked if she's that woman who writes the College Sucks column for Second Supper.

Dear President Bus

h, Dear Mr. President...

Seeing as you once bra gged about not readin g newspapers, writing letter is probably a this pipe dream — but then, what could be a more propriate tribute to apa man that spent his pre sidency ignoring realit and chasing phantom thr y eats? You defined our times, George W. Bush.

For those of us of a cer tain generation, you’re the only president we really got to know. We came of age in a time of war, a time of rec sion, a time when the esrest of the world see ms to loathe the United States, and — fair or not — we pin this leg acy on you.

Of course, from this bratty newspaper’s per spective, you’ve been alright to us. We’re not sure if Ari Fleish er passed it on you not, but you were act or ually on the cover of the very first Second Supper — something abo ut a kitten and you los ing your favorite pai of socks. If we hadn’t r pawned all our back iss ues on eBay to pay our heating bill, we might be able to cross-refere nce the archives, but rest assured, we had plenty of fun at your expense. Lots of folks — John Stewart probab did ly owes you millions and about 10 Emmys — but it’s true what they say if , that comedy equals tragedy plus time, the you were an instant hit n in the annals of histor y.

Surely, being president of the United States cou easy job. No one could ldn’t have been an have predicted 9/11 — although we’ve seen som convincing movies on e YouTube — but when put in a tough spot, we’ never seen anyone per ve form their duties so begrudgingly. (Consider ing our friends and cow orkers, that’s a signif icant achievement.) Al Qaeda attacks us, and you invade Iraq? New Orleans floods, and you backslap incompetence ? Fortune 500 compan ies cook their books, fraud customers, violat dee antitrust laws, dec eive employees, pollut the earth, and collap e se the economy … and you go after areolas and steroids in baseba on TV ll?

It’s cool, though. We like a little fiddle music while the empire burns. That 600 bucks was appreciated, too — and dang if you did produce some hottie off n’t spring! — but let’s jus t say adios, amigos and go our separate ways.

You may not have been the president we wanted but after those high-f , lying 1990s, perhaps you were the one we served. No longer wil del we take that whole bes t-country-in-the-worl bit for granted. So hav d e fun down in Texas, rid ding the world of brush or whatever else you plan on doing in your fre e time. We’ll be here, dealing with your mis takes.

Comrades in making up words, Second Supper Dear President Obama, *giggle, giggle* OMG, U R so hawt!

Sorry — had to get that out of our system — but really though: you are. We remember when we first met you, way back at the 2004 Democratic National Convention, when you delivered the keynote address for that toolbag Jerry Kerry. Sure you were just a senatorial candidate then — and an FIB to boot — but you just looked so presidential up there.

Your suit fit, you sounded assured, you inspired listeners, and you represented the best America had to offer. Compared to the Current Occupant, you were practically Abraham Lincoln. Come Tuesday, bro, you’ll be Funkmaster in Chief.

Pound it! As a group of young, left-leaning Midwesterners, Second Supper would seemingly comprise your core constituency, and we even put you on our cover way back in October 2007 — when no one else even gave you a chance. Back then we were considered a political risk. No serious presidential candidate ever staked his campaign on the votes of young unabashed liberals, but after the past eight years — hell the past 35 — it became all too obvious that the old guard just had to go. Please, once you get settled into the White House, do not revert to the old guard.

The pressures in D.C. will surely be great. That is a city built on stasis, where snouts expect a full trough and the way things have been are the way things are expected to stay. We saw the way you hedged your bet on Iraq, that we’ll remain in that nation as long as we’re needed.

That’s old thinking! Resist the temptation of empire, and bring our soldiers home now. Others will tell you that our economy is sacrosanct, that we spent our way into this mess so we’ll just spend our way out.

Perhaps, but it was recklessness and a profits-at-all-costs mentality that collapsed our house of cards, so rebuild our economy on a sound and community-lifting foundation.

Aww, look at us, the little newspaper giving the big guy some advice. Who are we kidding? We know you’re on it. You’re the man, Barack!

You love Outkast. You can hit a jumper from the baseline. You’re not afraid to admit you blew some lines in college. Basically, you’re cooler than anyone we ever expected to see in the Oval Office, and now you’re actually our president. Props, BHO. You make us want to be a better newspaper.

On the real, Second Supper

January 15, 2008

Something's rotten in the state of Minn.

By Ben Clark

benjamin.clark@secondsupper.com One of the most expensive, elaborate, and — ultimately — bitter, U.S. Senate races is about to come to a close. On the same night that Barack Obama made history by winning the presidential election, Al Franken and incumbent Minnesota Senator Norm Coleman were engaged in one of the closest senate races in history. The race was so close, and the candidates so determined to win, that a clear victor was nowhere in sight, and it would take a full two months to even come close to declaring a winner.

That night, Democratic nominee and former SNL writer Al Franken trailed Republican Senator Norm Coleman for the whole evening, but by only by margins of a percent. No clear winner could be predicted, and as a result the race was one of few that would not be called on Election Day. The only notable candidate to emerge that night in a seemingly victorious stance was Dean Barkley, who ran as an independent candidate and garnered 15 percent of Minnesota's senate votes.

On November 18, the final count was in for the election, and it showed Coleman ahead of Franken by 215 votes. This was, in reality, great news for the Franken campaign. Under Minnesota election law, the slim margin of Coleman’s victory required the state to undergo an electoral recount. To illustrate just how close this race was, the difference in votes between the two candidates was .0075 percent of the total votes cast. The recount, as Minnesota election law stipulates, must have each ballot checked by hand, and determined by election officials if the ballots are indeed filled out correctly and can be counted.

Two days after the recount had started, one thing began to become more and more clear to the citizens of Minnesota: this election may not be determined by the votes that were cast, but by how the State Canvassing Board would find challenged ballots. You see, during recounts, representatives from each candidate are present at all of the precincts, and are ready to challenge any ballot that may add to their candidate’s pile of votes, or that may detract from their opponent. After the ballot is challenged, it is up to the State Canvassing Board to determine if the ballot is accepted.

The recount continued on, and slowly Franken began to pull ahead of Coleman. But the Coleman campaign wasn't finished, and on December 17, the Coleman campaign presented a case before the Minnesota Supreme Court.

Second Supper vol. 9, issue 146

Days before the hearing, the State Canvassing Board had re q u e s t e d that local election officials look back over rejected absentee ballots to see if there were any errors made in their rejection. Basically, if the absentee ballot was wrongly rejected during the first counting of the ballots, it could be added back into the recount piles to be counted. This didn’t sit well with the Coleman campaign, who at this point was hundreds of votes behind Franken. So, in the true spirit of politics, Coleman petitioned the Minnesota Supreme Court to prevent counties from adding any wrongly rejected absentee ballots to the recount totals. The Minnesota Supreme Court decided that each campaign would have to agree that a ballot had been incorrectly rejected before it could be added to the recount pile.

So now we have thousands of ballots that will only be counted if both sides agree that the ballot should be there. If you sent in an absentee ballot to Minnesota, your vote only counted if both campaigns decided that it should count.

Your right to vote, to put it simply, is now up to the campaigns. With these new measures in effect, the 1,500 ballots that were up in the air would now have to be decided upon by both of the campaigns, and if the ballot didn’t pass muster, well, it simply wouldn’t be counted.This new ruling extended the recount until the beginning of January.

On January 5, 2009, the Minnesota State Canvassing Board declared Al Franken to be the winner of the senate race, beating incumbent Senator Norm Coleman by 225 votes.

Almost two months later, after Coleman was shown to be ahead by 215 votes, after all of the recounting and legal battles, Franken just barely pulled ahead in one of the most bizarre senate races in history. However, even though Franken has been declared the winner, the race isn’t over yet.

Coleman filed a lawsuit challenging the results of the recount and Franken’s victory. So now the election will be decided in the courts.

An already long and drawn out election will now be decided in the future weeks or possibly months to follow. For the time being, Minnesota will only have one senator seated, Amy Klobuchar. Franken had requested that the Governor and the Secretary of State issue him an election certificate, which would prove that he had indeed won the election and could be seated in the Senate. However, Minnesota state law prohibits the certification of any person for Congress if there are still legal actions that are being taken. In this case, due to the Coleman lawsuit, Franken is unable to be seated as senator until the court case has been settled.

So grab a good one, Minnesotans! It’s not over yet!

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By Jacob Bielanski

jacob.bielanski@secondsupper.com It’s really easy to love America, even during the worst of presidential, congressional, senatorial or economic periods, while you’re visiting Washington D.C. The monuments reverberate with the founding institutions of liberty, justice, happiness and sacrifice through a symphony comprised of granite, marble, gold, bronze and brass monuments. Yes, it’s really easy to love America while in Washington, District of Columbia — unless you’re driving.

Driving in D.C. seems, at first, similar to driving in any city. For a few blocks, one is treated to the smooth flow of a grid structure — and then you hit the result of what happens when you plan a city around random points of interest. The city planner and suspected masochist Andrew Ellicot designed a street structure with greater regards to monuments than to humans. This is why I suspect that the President’s office is located conveniently in the same building as his bed; no one wants to see the fate of the free world to hinge on the skillful driving of 10,000 confused tourists.

Richard Zacks writes in his book “The Pirate Coast” about how different this little patch of the Potomac looked in President Thomas Jefferson’s day. Mud streets drawn between the White House and the other offices carried minimal traffic. A day's notice was typically all that was needed to get a direct appointment with the President. By the time summer rolled around, the site was practically a ghost town.

The D.C. of that day was as bland as our history up to that point. From these muddy banks, presidents funded risky ventures that would ultimately double the size of our nation. They fought a rebellion and, afterwards, successfully reunified the nation (go ahead and find a historical example of when that has happened in the world). They thumbed their nose at world powers (e.g., the English) and then became their friends (e.g., the English). We had heavily armed Native Americans who weren’t too happy that we were suddenly calling this “our” country. The problems of “Universal Health Care” and “Economic Recession” seem to pale in comparison. This is what these monuments represent — not trivial quibbles about standards of living, but true tests of the very ideals that built these United States.

Once you’re on foot in this city, the measure of our nation’s military past becomes a growing theme. The city’s newest addition, the World War II memorial, will bring you to tears

— a pond facing the Lincoln memorial reads “Here we mark the price of freedom.” At first glance, the wall displays a handful of gold stars (the standard symbol for a family member lost in combat), but the still pond beneath reflects, literally, what can only be intended as the true cost of life in the defense of freedom.

The Korean War memorial creates another subtle affect by depicting a platoon of soldiers cast in what looks like pewter. If you look closely, you can see that they’re sized just a bit larger than life — approachable, yet heroic. Their stances and visages make them almost real — uncertain, scared and vigilant. Much like any generation's soldiers, really.

It’s really the Vietnam Memorial that brings the most poignancy to our current generation. To see pictures of this site is to simply behold flat slats of meaningless onyx with what may as well be a duty roster. However the memorial is arranged, not alphabetically, but by date of death. Starting at one end, we try and read the names — easy to do at first. Then the slats get fatter, the names — so benign when isolated — crescendo into an almost incomprehensible mass, each one screaming “I was someone’s brother/sisters/son/daughter/pastor/cousin/mother/father — but I was killed.”

Then there’s the organic element to the memorial — a picture of a newly anointed marine at the base of one panel, a pack of what looks like Vietnamese cigarettes at another; letters that hope to transcend time and space, letting the dead know “…you’re still in our hearts.”

Each token a mere hint at a story that we can only begin to comprehend.To say the memorial is overwhelming is an understatement, at the least.

Such organic bits scattered throughout the memorial are truly what Washington, D.C. represents. The city is such a force, built with so much granite, metal and history, that the organic elements scurrying about seem out of place. The city itself stands as a monument to the dream that is the United States and we are but little fragments — bowing before the statues and ideals — that hint at the greater story.

On the 20th of January, millions of bits of that story will descend upon this “city” to see a small change — a different man will occupy a space on 1600 Pennsylvania Avenue for a time that seems like a blink when compared to the 208-year history of our Constitution.

Heaven help them if they’re driving. photo courtesy of: www.philadelphia-reflections.com

January 15, 2008

Reviews: Your Guide to Consumption

Ska at the Epic!

By Ben Clark

benjamin.clark@secondsupper.com To many, ska hasn’t been relevant since the 1990s, when bands like The Mighty Mighty Bosstones and No Doubt were commonly heard on the radio. It appeared that the old genre that had been born in Jamaica, traveled to England, and emerged in the States would still be as popular as ever. Needless to say, that popularity hasn’t continued, and the genre hasn’t gone through any major revivals since.

But that didn’t stop hundreds of kids packing into a tiny venue to watch some of the best ska bands in the nation last weekend, skanking like it was still 1995.

The Epic is a pretty swanky venue, and at first glance it would appear to be much more

suited as a place to enjoy a good cocktail than a rock venue. However, the floor was obviously cleaned and cleared out, providing some room for ska and punk kids to dance the night away.

Tip The Van, a band from Connecticut, opened the show. Featuring two female lead singers and a single trombone, their style was more more rock-oriented than ska, but they still pulled off the ol’ “upstroke offbeat upstroke offbeat” rhythm that gets the crowd pumped. Their sound reminded me of the group Dance Hall Crashers, a punk group from California with some ska influence that featured two girls singing in harmony over distorted guitars and keyboards. Their set did well to get the crowd pumped up for the rest of the show.

When Streetlight Manifesto hit the stage, the crowd went apeshit. As they tore into the song “We Will Fall Together” off of their latest album, the crowd started moshing and didn’t stop until they left the stage. I’m surprised I survived with no scars, and only had to punch a few pseudo-rude boys out of the way to get out, but hey, it’s expected. Highlights include “Point/Counterpoint,” “Here’s To Life,” and “Everything Goes Numb,” which showcases their rather impressive horn section: baritone and tenor saxophones, a trombone, and a trumpet player all playing separate yet intri-

Second Supper vol. 9, issue 146

cate tracks to form pure ska-horny bliss. A nice surprise was when the band broke into the Catch 22 song “Keasby Nights,” a nice dig by guitarist/frontman Tom Kalnoky who formed

Catch 22 and left some years back. Overall, their stage performance and overall musicianship was top notch, and in my opinion, were the best band that performed that night. Look for them in the future.

Finally, the stage was set, and Reel Big Fish took the stage. The band played through most of their well-known hits, including encore performances of “Sell Out,” “Take On Me,” and “Beer.” The crowd was actually less energetic, it seemed, for Reel Big Fish, especially in comparison with their attitude for Streetlight Manifesto. It was like watching the passing of a torch, from one ska band to another.

Overall, the concert was very entertaining and well worth the $18 ticket. Until they make the rounds next year, I’ll continue to get my ska fix with local shows and festivals (Skappleton 2009!) Keep on Skanking, Rude Boys and Mean Girls!

Tuneage Fucked Up – The Chemistry of Common Life The avian flutes which pull the curtain on The Chemistry of Common Life are, like many things to be found here, deceitful. In this case, “Son the Father” follows the first minute of slow woodwind exposition with a gradual build to Hives-like strut rock, accompanied by malefemale vocals that channel tobacco-throated metal dudes and a heavily FX’ed Courtney Love. This track, which lasts for six and a half minutes, changes many times throughout and doesn’t get stale.

Though very few of the songs on Chemistry sound alike, its beginning is emblematic of the album to follow.At its worst, Fucked Up is a highly adventurous rock band. Even when in its home turf of heavy guitars and smashing drums, the band isn’t afraid to veer off in a unique direction by throwing in odd instrumentations such as bongos and synths or switching aggression for sudden melody. The drawback of this album is that the vocals are bad — really bad. For an album this expansive, the singing is largely monotone, all muddy growls and screams. While the words aren’t always inap-

propriate for the music at hand, they do have a tendency to obscure the music at hand, if not render it completely absurd. This rings especially true in the case of “Royal Swan,” a classic feel song of rushing drums and skyscraping guitars. Though the vocals are sparse in this track, the emergences of the growl, accompanied by goth chick operatics, leave the song a drastic collision of hot and cold.

Thankfully, not every track on this album features Old Growly. “Golden Seal” and “Looking for God” are instrumentals which, while a bit too circular and long, are great indications of Fucked Up’s musical potential. The former conjures images of Pink Floyd astronomy; the latter combines soft abrasions of guitar with synth strings to create a gloomy mantra that is quite effective.

Despite the awkward tendencies of the vocals, Fucked Up is a band to pay attention to.

Should Old Growly learn to temper his vocals with melody, or at least clarity, we will be hearing much more about this group.

— Brett Emerson

Gettin' Shuggy with it Oh hi, right now I'm listening to some albums I recently got from the label Mississippi Records. Often, I select music based on the label that releases them, as these little niche labels tend to be run by music obsessives who put out a catalog of performers that tickles their personal passion, in whose tastes I trust the music to be consistently mind blowing. Mississippi Records started about 5 years ago by a couple of guys who run a small independent record shop by the seat of their pants in Portland, Oregon. I first became aware of this shop due to a most incredible story I read in a Portland weekly newspaper. A guy was at a rummage sale in New York and bought a cheap acetate record for 75 cents that had been sitting in a box in an attic of an apartment where a fire had happened. This album was unmarked, and the acetate was of such poor quality, that 10 to 30 plays would have destroyed it. This record ended up being the original demo recording of the Velvet Underground from 1966 and has since fetched an eBay bid of $155,401, the second highest price ever paid for a record (a copy of John Lennon's Double Fantasy that he autographed 5 hours before he was shot sold for $525,000). This rummage sale find was on display in this shop, as the guy who purchased it was a close friend with one of the guys who owned the store. The attention and cash this demo recording generated allowed a record label to be started which focused

on releasing obscure gems that were to the personal likings of the two guys who ran the shop. I remembered the story of the rummage sale find, but hadn't paid attention to the music they were releasing and had forgotten that they even had a label. Last summer, I was reminded of it while doing a phone interview with Jason Peirce of the band Spiritualized. Peirce called me from his home in London, and after we ran through the Q&A and were small talking, he asked me where my area code was from.When I told him Portland, he started waxing poetically about how it was the home of Mississippi Records.

On his recommendation I checked them out. They only press 1000 copies of each release, thus making them collector's items of sorts.The albums I got are a gospel blues recording from 1927 by Washington Phillips where he plays a strange instrument called a Dolceola; a Malcolm X memorial record from 1968 put out by the coronet player from Sun Ra's band in the early '50s and his ensemble, which later evolved into Earth, Wind and Fire; and an album called I Don't Feel At Home in This World Anymore 1927-1948, which is full of traditional songs brought to America by immigrants. I got a few others, music from Africa,Thailand, and some rural blues, but I'm out of space, so you'll just have to check out their catalog online yourself. — Shuggypop Jackson

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Reviews: Your Guide to Consumption Film The Reader (2008) Director: Stephen Daldry Cast: Kate Winslet, David Kross, Ralph Fiennes Writer: David Hare, based on the novel by Bernhard Schlink I'm sure it wasn't the filmmakers' intention, but the first half of The Reader revolves far too much around Kate Winslet's breasts and David Kross' penis.With a relationship built on a solid foundation of after-school sex sessions,Winslet and Kross spend a good amount of time lying naked in bed. When not fornicating with Winslet, Cross finds himself indulging her pre-coital fetish for having books read aloud to her, a scenario that makes for scenes about as exciting as watching a grocery clerk stock produce.The Reader soon falls into a repetitive funk of sex scene, reading scene, sex scene, reading scene, etc., so if this sounds like the kind of movie you want to pay to see, then your heart will really palpitate by the time you reach the mid-movie reading montage that tries to make reading aloud seem fast-paced and exhilerating.

It should also be noted that Kross' character, Michael Berg, is 15-years-old, while Winslet's Hanna Schmitz is 34. One day Michael arrives at Hanna's apartment to find that she has packed

HHH up and left, leaving no trace. Flash forward a decade or so to Michael in law school. Among his classes is a seminar examining post-WWII German guilt, a class in which the students attend the trial of six former SS guards. One of the guards on trial is Hanna Schmitz. We catch glimpses of an older Michael (Ralph Fiennes), circa 1995, still attempting to understand Hanna's impact on his life and how she and her secrets affected his relationship with women, particularly his daughter.

For a movie so quietly well-acted and dauntingly-focused, The Reader simply has a whole lot of nothing going on. By focusing on the perpetrators of the Holocaust and those close to them, rather than on the victims, the film offers a unique perspective through which to view the overwhelming weight of the event. But it's a weight that's never realized as well as it could be. The filmmakers may have compacted the intensity of the Holocaust too much, leaving The Reader without any grand emotional kick.

It wants to ask serious questions about the gap in morality between pre- and post-WWII German generations, but its cry for importance ultimately and unfortunately comes off as too muffled. — Nick Cabreza

St. Benedict’s Winter Ale Point Brewery Stevens Point Wisconsin I’m beginning to fear that all my beer reviews are going to sound the same this winter. I look out my window, and I see snow falling. It hasn’t stopped all day, at least as long as I’ve been awake. A radio DJ just told me that the high for the week is going to be 17 degrees. I think it’s 4 degrees right now, but despite a winter snow advisory, I just drudged to the Co-op to pick up my libation for the evening: a beer that’s thick, dark, malty, and full of warming booze. A half-paragraph into this review, I know I’ve written this same scenario before: Boo-hoo it’s cold; drink something warm. So now that I’ve gotten that out of my system — or at least that’s what I tell myself — it’s time to review this beer, and all winter beers, on its merits alone. This week we select the offering of a Wisconsin stalwart, Point Brewery, whose St. Benedict’s Winter Ale will supposedly be around through the end of January. Of course, that’s nowhere near the end of winter, but after drinking a half-mug of it I don’t think I’ll hold any quibbles when this beer disappears from grocers’ shelves.

St. Benedict’s pours a charcoal-amber color that’s oddly translucent when held to light.

The nose is heavy on spices — clove, cinnamon, and coriander — but three weeks after Christmas, that does little for this Grinch. Expecting a spiced ale, then, I was surprised to take a sip and taste absolutely none of those flavors.Well, there’s a bit of an orangey/coriander taste, but mostly St. Benedict’s sails on toffee-like malts.

The taste is sweet, but oddly syrupy — not syrupy thick; more like syrupy fake, something that’s spritzed with carbonated water and passed off as a homemade beverage. There’s an interesting smoky finish, but that would probably be better served in a pot roast or a chili than a beer Appearance: 5 you’d expect to sip all night. On the Aroma: 7 plus side, six-packs are cheap, but I’m Taste: 5 not sure what I’ll do with the other five Mouthfeel: 5 bottles. Maybe ask me tomorrow when Drinkability: 4 the wind chill is 40 below.

Total: 23 — Adam Bissen

Bibliophile Bill Buford – Among the Thugs (1990)

Bizzaro Masterpiece Theatre Vulgar (2000)

Since an oft-debated study was released in 1993, the Super Bowl has become questionably mythologized in the American consciousness as a hotbed for violence, particularly of the domestic stripe. Still, despite the fact that people in this country do indeed take their sporting events very seriously, Americans spectators as a whole are pretty laid-back. Outside of the freakshows (ape grunting, mass sing-alongs of Queen) that can develop in the heat of competition, people jab at each other’s allegiances with largely civilized behavior. Sure, sport is one of those cultural phenomena which tend to draw schmucks from the woodwork. Nonetheless — and small comfort to the bruised — America has gotten off light.

The myth of English sport, and to a lesser degree European sport, is one of complete fucking insanity, of institutionalized anarchy.The particular sport in question is what we term soccer, and the rest of the world calls football.

On many levels, the world’s football is not our football. Theirs is a sport in which religious and ethnic animosity has the potential boil over into violence. Our sports are insular, entertainment, safe.Worldwide football has claimed lives, spectator and athlete alike. Andres Escobar’s murder in 1994 has been linked to his own-goal in that year’s FIFA World Cup. The great goats of American sport have been Bill Buckner’s World Series error and Scott Norwood’s missed field goal in Super Bowl XXV. The worst that happened to Norwood was to be the inspiration for Ray Finkle in Ace Ventura: Pet Detective.

Coming in as an American unused to worldwide football’s conventions, Bill Buford

Directed by: Bryan Johnson Starring: Brian O’Halloran, Jerry Lewkowitz, Bryan Johnson Written by: Bryan Johnson

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spent the better part of a decade trying to understand the English institution of football violence. He worked his way into football firms, groups of a team’s supporters that stereotypically operate as gangs. Buford joins the firms along their well-adjusted and unhinged poles, in sloppy alcoholism, genteel camaraderie, xenophobia, and — inevitably, it seems — in the riots to follow.

The meat of this amazing work is in Buford’s sociological analysis of mob violence as a whole, exemplified but not limited to its outbursts in sport. The blame, perhaps, lies not only in the hooligans themselves but in factors reaching beyond them: the viewing conditions of the games (there are no seats at games, and spectators are packed together like cattle), the expectations of working-class coarseness placed on a crowd for whom the working class no longer exists, and the base exhilaration of becoming one with a crowd, a single, mercurial organism. The horror, it seems, is not one of exception but regularity, the oxymoron of Saturday chaos. It’s described as a drug, its ingestion no different than drinking.

Perhaps we’re frustrated, too non-confrontational, and need better avenues of honest release. Civilization tends to bottle the emotions of its tenants. It’s hard to imagine an institutionalized solution to this. Therapy helps, but our emphasis on it puts the horse behind the cart. Honesty can’t be enforced, and makes uncomfortable clothing. Nonetheless, until we can deal with frustration, things will continue to break and burn. And inside, some of us will cheer. — Brett Emerson

About a year ago, Second Supper ran a piece on a local La Crosse professor who holds a deep-seeded fear of clowns.To that man, and to coulrophobes everywhere who cower in fear of the world’s Jokers, Pogos, and Pennywises, I offer this balm to what ails you. Clown rape.

Nasty, dirty clown rape.

Blame Kevin Smith for this one. The success of Clerks, Dogma, and Chasing Amy gave the director financial leeway to produce a series of low budget films under his View Askew banner. As could be expected, the films tend to cast some of the usual lurkers in Smith’s films, and, judging from the few I’ve seen, are fairly low-rent (though I’ve heard good things about the documentary Small Town Gay Bar).

Vulgar, consequently, is a film built to be sold on the Smith connection and the aforementioned hot clown love. Beyond these items, the film meanders, but who cares? A film with clown rape as its selling point is a film worth seeing, even if the viewer skips a few chapters here and there.

So let’s get our knuckles in the muck.

The backstory: a shit-upon idealist (Brian O’Halloran, who played the shit-upon Dante from Clerks) spends the grimy days following his dreams of life as a clown. Predictably, a career of entertaining children at birthday parties has amassed Mr. Clown just enough gas money to drive him to the border between Jack and

Shit.

In a desperate ploy for cash, our guy looks beyond his day job as Flappy the affable dope and comes up with what may be one of history’s worst ideas, ranking alongside assaulting Russia in the winter, trusting Conquistadores, and the filming of L.L. Cool J for 15 minutes in night vision. Thus, in the humble surroundings of a run-down restaurant, the Stripper Clown was born!

The idea itself isn’t bad, I suppose. I’d pay for a stripper clown, anyway. But our guy, from whose burlesque harlequin the movie gains its name, isn’t blessed with such high-brow and sensitive clientele. On his first night on the job, Vulgar the Clown strolls into a poorly lit hovel and into the violent web of a family of sexual sadists.

There’s ballroom dancing, and broken bottles, and shame!

The clan’s Pop, whose hair is Affleck-inDazed-and-Confused lustrous, provides the movie’s best moments, blurting out sweet nothings such as, “I’m going to make hate to you!” and, before murdering another poor soul via blowtorch, “This is how I kiss, and I’m gonna kiss you all over!” The man is a true romantic from head to toe.

O’Halloran, on the other hand, is a poster boy for creepy clowns, a coulrophobe’s nightmare. Still, he plays a rape victim with the weepy dignity of a Dame Judy Dench, which vindicates the whole thing.

As the oft-overrated Crispin Glover once said: “Clowny, Clown, Clown.”

— Brett Emerson

January 15, 2008

I'm Jonesin' for a Crossword "A New Beginning" — here we go again!

o i d u t S r i a H Le Fox 783-2699

By Matt Jones Across 1 Ocean floater with a bell 5 Guitar attachment 10 Doc bloc 13 Cease to exist, old-style 14 Prick 15 Helgenberger of "CSI" 17 Mosque prayer leader 18 One who doesn't work well with others 19 Boxer Ingemar Johansson's nickname 20 Construction site turner 23 Word repeated when things don't turn out your way 24 Actor Reeves who says "Whoa!" a lot 25 Focus (on) 27 Ave. intersectors 28 "Bill Swerski's Superfans" idol, on "SNL" 33 Crystal-lined rock 34 Heavy-duty letter holder 36 Jason's ship 39 Make ___ (get really rich) 40 Helper: abbr.

41 NHL Hall-of-Famer who co-owns the Pittsburgh Penguins 44 Make sarcastic, funny comments 45 Dance troupe with unconventional percussion items 46 Nav. system 49 Provides the grub 51 "Sicko" filmmaker 53 Diamond stat 54 Part of the Bill of Rights that addresses the Constitution itself 59 Primo 61 Scarlett of Tara 62 Website with a focus on step-by-step instructions to "just about everything" 63 Maligned import of the 1980s 64 Harold's friend, on film 65 Prefix with legal or sailing 66 Mao ___-tung 67 Swelling after a heart attack, for example 68 Roman numeral hidden (in left-to-

644 2nd Ave N. Near 7 Bridges Restaurant Onalaska

$10

right order) in the four longest Across answers Down 1 Skylark and Skyhawk, e.g.

2 Improper 3 New First Family 4 Oman's neighbor 5 Season, perhaps 6 Radiohead lead singer Yorke 7 Rice-A-___ 8 "Ask ___" (current "Jeopardy!" segment during commercials) 9 Gossip blogger Hilton 10 "What ___, your maid?"

11 Features of some fat guys, at a pool 12 Portuguese term meaning "suspects" brought up in the 2007 Madeleine McCann disappearance case 16 Placed dibs on, as in a street basketball game 21 Like some college art models 22 Prefix before -cide for assassins, perhaps 26 Chill out 29 Leaning type: abbr.

30 Pacifies 31 Painter Gustav who often used gold decoration 32 Prenatal test, for short 34 Wavelike fabric pattern

Second Supper vol. 9, issue 146

35 "Up and ___!"

36 "Get your butt outta here!"

37 Hurried in no particular direction 38 Furnace vents, perhaps 42 Cajun thickener 43 "Drink ___ Hearties Yo Ho" (song on the soundtrack to "Pirates of the Caribbean: At World's End") 46 New York City, alternately 47 A ___ (conceived beforehand) 48 Mr. Zog's surfboard grip product that gained notoriety by being banned from schools 50 Cig

Haircuts Check Out Our Selection Of Sportscards and Crystals!

52 Lunchtime, for some 55 Exiting prime minister Olmert 56 Word after code or trade 57 Apothecary's weight 58 NPR political correspondent Liasson 60 Abbr. in a help wanted ad Š2009 Jonesin' Crosswords (editor@jonesincrosswords.com) For answers to this puzzle, call: 1-900226-2800, 99 cents per minute. Must be 18+. Or to bill to your credit card, call: 1-800-655-6548. Reference puzzle #0397.

Answers to Issue 145's "Worst of 2008"

14

Future Sons by Noah Singer classifieds $790 / 2br - Beautiful, Spacious Upper- Garage, Garden, Porch 115 N. 13th Street, La Crosse Conveniently located near the YMCA, UW-L,Viterbo, and downtown. Security Deposit $750 is due at lease signing.

This is a short term rental available from December 1st through April 31st.

SUBLEASE: 3 Bedroom House 1727 Mississippi St Available now thru June 1st (option to renew).

Cool 3 bedroom house + den, dining room, w/d, pellet stove, and more. No Pets! 784-6731 2001 18ft Bayliner ski boat snap fit cover, 125hp Mercury, ski pylon 608-385-5315, $9400 2001 Jeep Cherokee Sport blue, cd, pl, pw, 262-893-8313, $5900 King pillow top mattress set in Package, $255, Full Sized Set $120 Deliverable 608-3994494 Queen pillow top mattress set Brand New Still in Plastic, Can Deliver 608-399-4494 80 acres of hunting land Trophy bucks & turkeys, etc. Can build on it. $4400 per acre.

16 x 80 Mobile Home On the bluff, 3 BR, 2 Bath, fenced yard, garage, deck. Available now. $22,900 or make offer. 608-7842513 or 317-0980.

GOT SOMETHING TO HAWK? We’re starting a new classifieds section just for you.

For $10/wk, you get three lines (25 words) to get rid of that old grill, those sweet rollerblades, promo your Garage Sale, or sell that extra kidney quick!

(Just kidding, that’s not legal.)

Interested? send your 25 words to: copyeditor@secondsupper.com Submissions will be edited for length and inappropriate content. Please include current billing address and contact info.

15

January 15, 2008

COMMUNITY SERVICE [ Area food & drink specials ] LA CROSSE All Star Lanes Arena 4735 Mormon Coulee 109 3rd st.

Sunday

Monday

ALLfor NEW! 3 games $5 starts at 8 p.m. we

3 games for $5 starts are at 8 p.m.

Alpine AlumniInn

$7 four cans special 8 bucket p.m. - close beer pong

Alumni House Animal 620 Gillette st.

Beer Pong $7.00 4 Cans 8-close $1.00 Domestic Silos

W5715 Bliss st. rd.

620 Gillette

110 3rd st.

Barrel Inn Beef & ave.

Etc. 2005 West

1203 La Crosse st.

Beef & Etc. Barrel Innst.

1203 La Crosse 2005 West ave.

Big Al’s Brothers 115 S 3rd st.

306 Pearl st.

Brothers Bruisers 306 Pearl st.

620 Cass st.

$2.50 Jack Daniel Mixers $2.00 Goldschlager

2 for 1 cans &

Italian beef w/dog bottles meal: $6.69during Packer games Pizza Puff meal: $4.49

2.25 for mini pitcher

free pitcher of beer or soda with large closed pizza

CheapShots Chuck’s 318 Pearl st.

1101 La Crosse st.

Chuck’s Joe’s Coconut 1101Pearl La Crosse st.

223 st.

16oz top sirloin $7 22oz tbone 9.75 sutffed sirloin 8 jack daniels tipsTaps 8 $1 shots of $1 Domestic Doctor, cherry doctor - 8-cl $2 Craft Import Taps Happy $1.75 cans, $2 $2.50 hour Vodka4-6Mixers mix drinks

$1 Shot Menu

1/4 barrel meatball sandwich giveaway meal: $6.69 8-11 $1 burgers 2 Chicago dogs meal:

during Monday night football

meat or marinara spaghetti: $3.45 $2.50 Italian sausage: $4.95 Blatz vs. Old Style pitchers

$1 off apps closed Happy Hour All Day 20 wings and 5 miller lites for $15

Kids Eat$2.50 Free With Blatz vs. Old Style Adult pitchers $3.00 Long Islands Martini Ladies' Night Martini Madness James Martini: vodka, triple $2 off all martinis

114 5th ave.

417 Jay st.

Bud Night 6 - CL: $1.75 bottles $5 pitchers

$5.89 meatball sandwich Burgers 2 for 1 bottles and cans meal:Buck $6.15 1/4 Barrel during the game 2 dogs meal:giveaway $ 5.25

The The Cavalier Cavalier 114 5th ave.

CheapShots Chances R 318 Pearl st.

5-8 p.m. 16oz Sirloin $7, Blue Cheese Stuffed Sirloin $8, Jack Daniels Tips $8, 22oz T Bone $9.75, $1 shots doc and cherry doc 8 p.m. - close

sec, orange juice

712- CL - 7: $1 domestic 12 oz 2-4-1 rails $2 Stoli mixers

$2.50 beers 7 - CL

$3.00 Domestic Pitchers, $1 domestic 12 oz $2.00 Shots of Cuervo, $2 StoliGoldschlager mixers Rumpleminz,

closed $3 Pitchers 1.75 Rails

Tuesday Wednesday Thursday Buck Night starts at 6 p.m. under

3 games for $5 starts at 7 p.m. construction

11 a.m. - 9 p.m. hard or soft shell tacos $1

5-8 p.m. BBQ coun6 - CL try style ribs $5, $2.50 Sparks euchre tourney 7:30

Import Ladies drink night free Rails and Domestic starts at 7Light p.m.Tap Beer 9-11pm on the Dance Floor 11 a.m. - 9 p.m. AUCE Wings $5, Bingo $2 Silos BOGO $1 cherry bombs

$1 softshell tacos Happy Hour 4 p.m. - 9 p.m. M-FAUCE wings $5.00 $5 bbq ribs and free crazy bingo $1 Domestic Silos fries buy bomb $2.50 Premium Silos Stopone in forcherry Value Menu too $2.50 Three Olive Mixers big to here get one forlist$1

$2.50 Select imports/craft $1 shots of doctor, Beers cherry doctor $2.50 Top shelf Mixers $2 Mich Golden bottles

$2. Goldschlager

3 p.m. - midnight

grilled$6.00 chicken sandwich meal: $5.29 AUCD

Italian beefnight meal: bucket $6.69 6 for $9 Chicago chili dog: $3.89 beef meal: Italian $6.15 Bucket Night beers Chicago chili6dog: $3.45 for $9

hamburger or 25 cent hot wings cheeseburger meal: $3.89 $1 shots of Dr. Italian Beef w/dog hamburger meal: $7.89meal: $3.69 cheeseburger meal: 25 cent wings Dollar $3.89 shots of Doctor

Polish sausage meal: $4.49 chicken sandgrilled wich meal: $5.29 Polish AUCDsausage Taps andmeal: Rails $3.99 8-1 $6

soup or salad bar $1.25 make your own $2.25 burgers, $2.60 FREE with entree or 3 - 8cheeseburgers, p.m. 1/2 off anything that pours tacos, $4.75 taco salad $2 off $1.50 U-Call-Its $2 10 cent wings - CL) sandwich until 3 p.m. $5 beer, wells, & long islands. $2.25 margaritas, large pizza, $1(9fries $1.25 High Life bottles $1 shots with Football ($3.95 by itself) offFantasy large taco pizzaStat with any pizza wristband. $2.50 Jack mixers or HAPPY HOUR 3 PM - 8Soco PM& lime

Thirsty - $1 Mexi-Night Tuesday Soft Shell Tacos $2.50 Margaritas

10 cent wings (9 - CL) $12-4-1 High Life bottles Burgers $1.50 rail Pitchers mixers Kul Light $5 $2 Guinness pints

Wristband Rib Nite Night Beer Pong @10 p.m.

Wii Night

$1 Dr. 6- shots 8 $3 $1.50 Jager Bombs taps

7 - midnight 7 - CL 7- CL: 3- CL: Ladies: 2 for 1 Tequila’s chips & salsa, Margarita Monday 2 Beers, 1 topping pizza Guys: $1.50 Coors $2 Coronas, $2.50 $2.50 $11 and Kul Light bottles Mike’s, Mike-arita (rocks only) Tequila’s chips & salsa, Mexican Monday $2.00 Corona, $2 Coronas, $2.50 Corona Light, Cuervo Mike’s, Mike-arita

$.50 Ladies: domestic2taps, for$11 microbrews, $3 domestic Guys: $1.50 Coors pitchers, $6 microbrew and Kul Light bottles pitchers

$2 Malibu $2.00 Cruzan madness Rum Mixers, $2.50$2 Jameson Shots, $3.00 pineapple Mixers

$1 rail mixers $3.00 Patron Shots $2 Bacardi mixers

football $1 night domestic Kul beer: Light $1.50 Mexicancans beer: $2.00

chicken Topless primavera Tuesday

FiestaHollow Mexicana Fox 5200 Mormon Coulee

chicken & veggie fajitasown Build your for Mary two Bloody 16oz Mug - $4.00

football night domestic beer:Pizza $1.50 Homemade Mexican beer: $2.00 & PItcher of Beer

HAPPY HOURshrimp EVERYDAY 3 - 6 chili chicken burrito verde primavera $1.25 Bucket of Domestic 25 Cent Wings BURGERS Cans 5 for $9.00

Build your own Bloody Mary 16oz Mug - $4.00

Homemade Pizza & PItcher of Beer $9.00 $5.99 $5.99 gyro gyro fries fries & & soda soda

N3287 County rd.

OA 1904 Campbell

Gracie’s Gracie’s 1908 Campbell rd.

1908 Campbell rd.

Huck Finn’s Howie's

127 dr. st.

1128Marina La Crosse

9-clNBC Mary night. (Night Bloody Before Class) $3 pitchspecials ers of the beast - 2 4-9 p.m.

Happy10 Hour

Football Sunday $1.75 domestic JB’s Speakeasy 11-7 happy hour, free The Helm bottles 717 Rose st. food, $1.50 bloody, 1/2

108 3rd st price pitchers DTB Second Supper vol. 9, issue 146

$4.50

$1 Bazooka Joes

$3.00 Captain mixers/ mojitos Fish Fry $2 Cherry Bombs $1 Bazooka Joes

$1 Bazooka Joes

$3.00 Bacardi mixers/ mojitos $3 bloodys $2 Cherry Bombs $1 Bazooka 'til Joes noon

50 cent taps 4 - 7 (increases 50 cents per Great drinks! hour) $1 rails

10 - CL: $1.50 rails Hour 12 - 7

$2.00 Captain Mixers

Great drinks!

50

Happy Hour 12 - 7 cents off most items

$2.00 Malibu, $2.50 Jaeger, $3.00 Jaeger Bombs

upsidedown cake

chicken$4 & veggie full fajitas pint Irish for Bomb two Car

Fox Hollow Goal Post

$2.50 X-Rated Mixers $2 Captain Mixers $2 Premium Grain Belt $2 Snake Bites

WING NIGHT-$1.25/LB $2 Tuesdays, including Wristband All day Everyday: $1 Doctor $2 Silos. M-F: Happy HourBBQ, 2-6PLAIN $.50 off everything but the daily special$2.50 JUMBO CAPTAIN AND BUFFALO, SMOKEY buy one get one Domestic $2 bottles, import taps, $1.00 PABST AND PABST LIGHT Night After Class $3 beerMIXERS ('til 6 p.m.)

Ladies' Nite out 1.50 Raill $.50 pong, taps Domestic 3.00 BOTTLES$1.50 ROLLING ROCK RING TOSS NIGHT beer apps, single FLAVORED BACARDI Guys'closed Nite out 1.50 silos $5 COLLEGE I.D. Pitchers $1.75 Rails Holmen Meat Locker Jerky BOTTLES mixers/ $2.50 X bombs pitchers shot mixers, featured 3 Rings for $1 $2.25 BUD LIGHTS $1.00 SHOT $3.00 JAGER BOMBS Raffle $9 general public shots, and 50 cent taps OF THENIGHT-$1.25/LB WEEK WING $2 Tuesdays, including BUFFALO, SMOKEY BBQ, PLAIN Happy Hour 7 - 9. $2 for all single shot mixers and all beers. $1 Ladies Night $2 bottles, import taps, $1.00 PABST AND PABST LIGHT Topless Karaoke live DJ Wristband Night buy one, get one free $2.50 JUMBO CAPTAIN AND Karaoke FLAVORED Kul Light BOTTLES$1.50 ROLLING ROCK closed beer pong, apps, single Tuesday $1 shot specials $1 shot specials BOTTLES $5 COLLEGE I.D. BACARDI MIXERS wear a bikini, drink free shot mixers, featured cans $2.25 BUD LIGHTS $1.00 SHOT $9 general public $3.00 JAGER BOMBS shots, and 50 cent taps OF THE WEEK

Fiesta Dan’s Mexicana Place

N3287 County OA

2-8 p.m.

AUCE wings $5

beers & rails 7 -$1.00 midnight 7 - midnight 7 - CL All day, everyday: Shots of Doctor, $2.00 Cherry Bombs, $1.75 Silos of Busch Light/Coors 7 - midnight Happy

$4 full pint Irish closed Car Bomb

5200 Mormon Coulee 411 3rd st.

5-83-7 p.m. fishhappy dinnerhour $5.25

$1.50 $6.75 bloody marys $3 Three Olivesdinner mixers/ mojitos $3 Bacardi mixers/ mojitos shrimp 11 a.m. - 4 p.m $2 Cherry bombs $2 Cherry bombs

7 - midnight 7- CL: $2 Malibu madness Guys' Night $2 pineapple $1.25 upsidedown cake

$1.25 beers & rails

Cosmic $2 cherryBowl bombs starts at 9 p.m. until midnight

pepper & egg sandwich Italian beef meal: domestic pitchers $6.69 meal: $5.00 barrel parties2 Chicago at cost dog meal: Italian sausage meal: pepper & egg sandwich $5.89 $6.69 Italian beef meal: meal: $4.50, fish $6.15 sandwich meal: $4.99, 2 Chicago dog meal: $4.50 domestic pitchers Pitcher and Pizza $10 Italian sausage meal: $3.45 $6.15

for 1 $5 All 2Mojitos taps

7 - midnight 7- CL: $1 rail mixers Ladies' Night $2 Bacardi mixers

Cosmic & $2 cherryBowl bombs Karaoke starts at until 9 p.m. midnight

Dad's Beer"

HAPPY HOUR 4 - 7

6closed - 8 p.m. $1.50 rails/domestics

Saturday

batterfried cod, fries, $2.50 Bomb Shots beans, and garlic bread $2.50 Ketel One Mixers $5.50 $2 Retro Beers "Your

$1.50 rail mixers

party!

Coconut Joe’s Dan’s Place 223 3rd Pearlst.st.

411

Friday

$9.00

9-cl$3.50 Domestic pitchers $1.75 domestic bottles

shrimp Ladies Night buy one, get one free burrito wear a bikini, drink free

chili Karaoke verde $1 shot specials

Asklive server DJ for details $1 shot specials Ask server for details

HAPPY HOUR EVERYDAY 3 - 6

HAPPY HOUR 6 AM - 9 AM

$1.25 beer pong 6 p.m. $8.95 16 oz steak BURGERS

free wings 6 p.m. - 9 p.m.

Bucket of Domestic Cans 5 for $9.00

25 CentHOUR Wings HAPPY

Buy Buy one one gyro gyro get get one one half half price price

free free baklava, baklava, ice ice cream cream or or sundae sundae with with meal meal

$1.25 $1.25 domestic domestic taps taps buy buy one one burger burger get get one one half half price price

HAPPY HOUR 9-cl- $1 rails, $2.50 pitchers, Beer Pong All day (everyday!) $1.75 domesticspecials $1.25 Old Style Light bottles $1.50 LAX Lager/Light $1 shots of Dr.

$5 AUCD

HAPPY HOUR 3 - 8 $8.95 16 oz. steak $8.95 1/2 lb. fish platter

5 p.m. - 10 p.m.

EVERYDAY 3 -7 9-cl and$1.25 9 - 11 rails, $1.75 bottles/cans

Karaoke

GREEK GREEK ALL ALL DAY DAY buy buy one one appetizer appetizer appetizer half price appetizer half price get one half price get one half price with meal with meal 9-cl -$2 captain mixers, $2 bottles/cans, $3 jager bombs

9-cl $2 bacardi mixers, $2 domestic pints, $1.50 shots blackberry brandy

HAPPY HOUR2-CL 5-7 Thirsty Thursday 3 12 oz. dom. taps $2 $1 vodka drinks $1 12 oz taps

16

Sunday Monday Tuesday Wednesday Thursday Friday Saturday & drink specials ] COMMUNITY SERVICE [ Area food

LA CROSSE Jai's Bar 168 Rose st.

JB’s Speakeasy 717 Rose st.

The Joint 324 Jay st.

Legend’s

Happy Hour 11 a.m. - 7 p.m. everyday. $1.50 rails & domestics

$3 bloodys $1 priced-to-move bottles

$1.75 domestic bottles

$1.75 domestic bottles

1/2 off Pearl Street pitchers during Packer game

4 - 8 p.m.

Bacardi $3 doubles/pints

closed

223 Pearl st.

The Library 123 3rd st.

$2 Guinness all day

come in and find out ... you’ll be glad you did

closed closed

Nutbush

Ladies' night 7-CL buy one, get one rails and dom. bottles

$1.75 domestic bottles

$2 Boddington's English Pub Ale ALL DAY

50 cents off all drinks 7-CL

$1.00 off all Irish shots $2.50 pints of Guinness $3.00 imperial pints

every day $1 shots of Doc

$1 taps $1 rails 1/2 price Tequila

All your fav drinks at low prices

HAPPY HOUR 5 - 7

4 - 8 p.m. domestic bottles/rails $1.75

closed

$2 Irish Car Bombs (go out the Irish way) 7-CL

4 - 8 p.m. domestic bottles/rails $1.75

WING NIGHT $2 SVEDKA MIXERS $2.50 JACK MIXERS $2.25 BUD LIGHTS $2 SHOTS OF ALL DOCTOR FLAVORS

AFTER COMEDY: PINT NIGHT $1 PINTS OF RAILS MIXERS AND DOMESTIC TAPS $2 PINTS OF CALL MIXERS AND IMPORT TAPS $3 PINTS OF TOP SHELF MIXERS

KARAOKE $2 double rails, $3 double calls, $2 ALL bottles

Wristband Night and Beer Pong Tourney

5 - 7 p.m.

2-4-1 happy hour

great drinks!

$2 SHOTS OF GOLDSCHLAGER $5 DOUBLE VODKA ENERGY DRINK $3 Bacardi mixers $3 jumbo Long Islands

$3 Three Olives mixers $3 jumbo Long Islands

HAPPY HOUR 3 - 6

3264 George st.

Players

Price by Dice

214 Main St

Ralph's

In John's Bar 109 3rd st. N

Ringside 223 Pearl st.

Schmidty’s

Chef specials daily Mighty Meatball sub $6 open 11 - 6 $2 Screwdrivers and $2 Domestic Bottles w/NFL Sun. Ticket

3119 State rd.

breakfast buffet $9.95 10 a.m. - 2 p.m.

Shooter’s

$1 Shot Night

120 S 3rd st.

Sports Nut 801 Rose st.

Tailgators 1019 S 10th st.

Top Shots 137 S 4th st.

Yesterdays 317 Pearl st.

LA CRESCENT

Crescent Inn 444 Chestnut st.

WINONA Brothers 129 W 3rd st.

Godfather’s 30 Walnut st.

17

2 for 1 Happy Hour ALL NIGHT LONG

happy hour all day

open 4-9

Karaoke @ 10 p.m.

2-4-1 Happy Hour 5 - 10 AUCD Rail mixers @ 10 p.m.

Karaoke @ 10 p.m.

2-4-1 Happy Hour 5 - 10 $1 Pabst cans, Dr. shots @ 10 p.m.

chicken parmesan sub $6

Italian sandwich w/banana peppers and parmesan &6

open 4-9

double $6.50

2-4-1 Happy Hour 3 - 9 Best Damned DJ'S @ 10 p.m.

2-4-1 Happy Hour 3 - 8 Best Damned DJ'S @ 10 p.m.

Chicken salad on rye w/ lettuce, tomato, onion $5 $6.99 FISH SANDWICH FOR LUNCH, $7.99 FISH SANDWICH FOR DINNER, $9.99 ALL YOU CAN EAT FISH FRY ALL DAY

happy hour all day long! $1.00 OFF WILD WINGS, $1.00 PHILLY STEAK AND CHEESE.

LUNCH BUFFET $6.45 LUNCH SPECIALS CHANGE DAILY Ask Nicely See What Happens

Tie Tuesday Great Prices For Sharp Dressers

Buck Burgers

Tacos $1.25

$4 domestic pitchers

$1 Rails, $1.50 Pint Taps, $3 Long Island Pints 15 cent wings

$2 Bacardi mixers

$2 Spotted Cow & DT Brown pints $2 domestic bottles 7 - 12, $2.50 Skyy/ Absolute mixers 10-1 $2 Dr. drinks

$1 Point special bottles

$2.50 pints Bass & Guinness

$1.75 domestic bottles

$2.25 Pearl st. pints $1.50 PBR bottles

Sunday

Monday

Tuesday Wednesday

$2 Rolling Rocks $2 domestic beer

8 - CL $1.50 rails $1.75 Bud cans

$1 shots of Dr. $2.50 Polish

Sunday

Monday

Tuesday Wednesday

Come on in and find out!

family buffet 5 -8 kids under 10 pay .45 cents per year of age

$2.50 Bacardi Mixers, $3 Long Island Pints 12 oz. T-Bone $8.99

HAPPY HOUR 10 AM - 12, 4 PM - 6 PM $1.50 Bud/Miller Lite/ PBR taps all day $1.75 rails 10 - 1

closed

Southwest chicken pita $5

HAPPY HOUR 4 PM - 7 PM cheeseburger HOOP DAY!! MAKE YOUR SHOT AND YOUR ENTRÉE IS FREE!

$1.75 light taps and Dr. shots

Fiesta Night 7 - 12 $2 tequila shots $2.50 margaritas

2-4-1 Happy Hour 5 - 10 $2 Capt. mixers $1.75 domestic beer, $1.50 Rails, $1 Pabst cans @ 10 p.m.

$1 domestic taps $3 Jager Bombs

Bucket Night 5 for $9 5 domestic bottles for $10, $2 Bacardi mixers, $1.50 rail vodka mixers 10 -1

10 cent wings, $3 filled mug ($1 tap refills, $2 rail refills) $1 High Life bottles/kamikaze shots

15 cent wings

$1 Dr. shots $3 16 oz Captain mixers

$2 Long Islands, PBR bottles, Captain mixers

$1 Dr. shots $3 16 oz Captain mixers

$2.75 deluxe Bloodys ‘til 7, $5 lite pitchers 7 - 12

$1.75 rails $1 PBR mugs

Thursday

Friday

Saturday $2.50 Captain $2.50 Jager Bombs & Polish

$2 u-call-it (except top shelf)

Thursday

3 - 8pm 1.00 off anything that Pours

2 for 1 anything 9 p.m. - close

Fish Fry $6.95

$2.50 Bacardi Mixers, $3 Long Island Pints

$1 O-Bombs/Bazooka Joes, Wristband Night, $2.50 SoCo or Jack mixers

Friday

Saturday

$2.50 Three Olives mixers $1 Cherry & Jäger Bombs wristband night 'til 12 a.m.

$2.50 Bacardi mixers $1 Cherry & Jäger Bombs wristband night 'til 12 a.m.

any jumbo, large, or large 1 topping pizza medium pizza up to 5 $9.99 toppings: $11.99 (get 2nd large for $5)

January 15, 2008

Ã

Entertainment Directory 1/15 - 1/21

Thursday, January 15

January 17, continued

Kreekside Irene Keenan Jr.

7:00

Coconut Joe's Live DJ

10:00

Ringside Comedy Night

8:00

Legend's Live DJ

10:00

Howie's Karaoke

8:00

Dan’s Place Live DJ

9:00

The Recovery Room Live DJ

9:00

Popcorn Tavern Rick Weeth

10:00

Just A Roadie Away...

Sunday, January 18 10:00

Monday, January 19

Nutbush Live DJ

10:00

Nighthawks Dave Orr's open jam

10:00

Coconut Joe's Live DJ

10:00

Popcorn Tavern Shawn's Open Jam

10:00

Tuesday, January 20 Friday, January 16

Nutbush Live DJ

10:00

The Warehouse The Fast Track, Throw the Fight, All Skylines Collide, Without a Reason 6:00

Popcorn Tavern Paulie

10:00

Alumni Brownie's Open Jam

10:00

JB's Urine w/Sweet Sweet 16

10:00

Players Live DJ

10:00

Popcorn Tavern Terrapin Shells

10:00

Coconut Joe's Live DJ

10:00

Saturday, January 17

387,970

Shoeless Revolution

Downtime Bar & Grill

Fri., 1/16

The Wailers Tomorrows Bad Seeds

First Avenue

Fri., 1/16

Mason Jennings Haley Bonar

First Avenue

Sat., 1/17

God Johnson

The Downtime

Sat., 12/6

Root City

Minnesota Music Cafe

Sat., 12/6

Trans-Siberian Orchestra Xcel Energy Center

Sun., 12/7

Wednesday, January 21 The Warehouse Just Surrender, Patent Pending, Kelsey and the Chaos, Pull the Pin

6:00 Howie’s Comedy Night

8:30

Library Karaoke

9:00 9:00

Howie's Amadens, The Blood Shot

8:00

Nighthawks Irene Keenan Jr.

Bluffland Chris Koza

8:30

Recovery Room Kin Pickin open jam

10:00

JB's Hip Hop Show TBA

9:30

Coconut’s Live DJ

10:00

The Joint Next to Nothing

10:00

Players Karaoke

10:00

Players Live DJ

10:00

Popcorn Tavern Brownie's Open Jam

10:00

Second Supper vol. 9, issue 146

Minneapolis population

Popcorn Tavern Eric and Al

Ã

18

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Downtown La crosse, above fayzes - 782-6622

top shots joke of the week A husband asked his wife: “What do you like best about me, my intelligence or my body?”

She looked at him and replied: “your sense of humor”.

Good People, Good Drinks, Good Times $2.00 - 1 Player, $3.00 - 2 Players 50 cents Off Drinks, $1 Off Pitchers

$1.75 - Light Taps $1.75 DR. Shots

Saturday 19

$1.50 Bud/Miller Lite $2.00 Domestics 7-12pm & PBR Taps $2.50

$1.75

Skyy/Abs. Mixers 10-1AM

$2.00 Dr. Drinks

$2.75 Deluxe Bloody Marys ‘til 7:00 PM $5.00 Light Pitchers 7:00PM - Midnight January 15, 2008

La Crosse’s Largest Sports Bar

‘ r!

Ba ts or Sp s ’ se os Cr a L t a s f of y a Pl Come Watch The NFL

Sunday With Miller Lite @ Ringside $5.00 Miller Buckets, $2.25 Bottles and Taps, $6.00 Pitchers

Free HoopThursdays: Make Your Shot and Your Meals On Us

223 Pearl St - Downtown La Crosse/782-9192 Every Saturday Til Concert

Win 2 Tickets to See

Toby Keith

At The La Crosse Center 1.31.09

$2 Tuesdays!

W/ $.50 Taps $2 Appetizer Menu Wing NIght Wednesdays Fridays and Saturdays

Bottle Service Now Available

Wing Of The Month Teri-uffalo $1 PBR/PBR Light

CHECK OUT ALL OUR SPECIALS IN COMMUNITY SERVICE

Second Supper vol. 9, issue 146

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