Second Supper 156

FREE Volume 9 Issue 156 March 26, 2009

SMELL SMELL SMELL SMELL SMELL The

Issue

305 Pearl St. Downtown La Crosse Publisher: Mike Keith

mike.keith@secondsupper.com

Editorial Staff Editor-in-Chief: Adam Bissen adam.bissen@secondsupper.com

Copy Editor: Briana Rupel

copyeditor@secondsupper.com

Graphic Designer: Matt Schmidt

matt.schmidt@secondsupper.com

Contributors Jacob Bielanski Adam Bissen Erich Boldt Nicholas Cabreza Benjamin Clark Andrew Colston Ashly Conrad El Jefe Brett Emerson

Emily Faeth Shuggypop Jackson Emma Mayview Amber Miller Briana Rupel Kelly Sampson Noah Singer Nate Willer

Sales Associates Blake Auler-Murphy 608-797-6370 blake.auler-murphy@secondsupper.com

Mike Keith 608-782-3755 mike.keith@secondsupper.com

Tim Althaus 608-385-9681 tim.althaus@secondsupper.com

Free-Range Media www.secondsupper.com

Second Supper vol. 9, issue 156

Letter from the Editor When I went down to get my newspaper from the front steps yesterday morning, I discovered that my entire neighborhood smelled like grilled cheese. I was not entirely disappointed. Then I inhaled deeply through my nose, looked around an empty Pearl Street, and thought to myself: “This is so La Crosse.”

For most folks, I imagine that the smell of toasted bread and melted cheddar takes them back to childhood, a time when they were picky eaters or partial to dipping things into tomato soup. When I catch that whiff in certain family diners, sometimes I feel like I’m eight years old again. At other times I flash back to parking lots outside of Phish concerts, where enterprising folks slang toasted cheese sandwiches for a buck just to get to the next show. Now I’m afraid that the next time I smell a grilled cheese sandwich, I’ll be jolted back to Pearl Street at 5 a.m. on March 24, that infamous morning when the brewery and the bakery were at full production and the north winds carried the aroma of yeasty snacks.

Now that I’ve typed out that ridiculous sentence, I’m almost positive it will be my first mental connection to grilled cheese, but that’s just how it works with the sense of smell. Smell is the sense that stays in the background — unless it’s awful; then it’s hard to ignore. More often than not, though, a smell will creep in like fog over a city. Unlike sight, sound, touch, or taste, smell is the sense that takes a while to pinpoint. Scents can surround you, which is why those smell-triggered memories of grandma’s kitchen, the YMCA pool, or the old family farm are so vivid. Smells aren’t solid, but their power comes in the way they waft under everyone’s nose.

The casual reader of Second Supper might be utterly confused right now — get used to that — but this issue is actually the third installment in our running series on the senses. Inside, Bob Treu tells that smell/memory story much better than I ever could, as he offers a third piece of scent-inspired fiction, the continuing story of Amos and Erika.

Also, Ben Clark explains how the nose works, so don’t run from his Smock Talk column, and Emily Faeth wears way too much perfume. Finally, we muse on our own favorite aromas and profile people who work in foul-smelling places — not sure into which category I’d file natural outdoor grilled cheese, though.

— Adam Bissen

TABLE OF CONTENTS THIS PAGE .............. .................... 3 SOCIAL NETWORKING.................. 4 POW-WOW ..................................... 5 MOMMY COLUMN .............,........... 6 BRETT'S B-DAY ............................. 7 FAVORITE SMELLS ...................... 8 SMELLY DAY ................................ 9 FICTION .......................................10 STINKY JOBS ............................. 11 GETTIN' SHUGGY ....................... 12 BEER REVIEW ............................ 13 FUTURE SONS ........................... 14 CROSSWORD/LEO ......................15 COMMUNITY SERVICE ..........16-17 ROCK OUT! ................................ 18

To meet Dorothy Lenard, please join us: 5-7 pm, Friday, March 27, the Root Note Restaurant, 115 Fourth St. S. and 10 am to noon, Saturday, March 28, North Side Library, 1552 Kane St. How has Dorothy brought change to City Hall? She: Was your voice to keep political beliefs as one of your protected rights in La Crosse.

Co-author of La Crosse’s Eco-Municipality designation.

Member of Joint Oversight Committee on Sustainability.

Promoted review of alternate side parking policy.

Supports diversity and respects all viewpoints.

Is a strong advocate for neighborhoods.

My Pledge as Mayor: Listen... to the ideas of others.

Learn... from what I hear.

Lead...by working together.

Dorothy Lenard in front of a Neighborhood Electric Vehicle at the Irish Fest Parade. Her legislation legalized use of these vehicles in the city.

Dorothy has a strong record of achievements as a small business owner, Administrator of Natural Sciences at Viterbo University and a City Council member. After four years on the City Council, she is convinced that major improvements can be made in accountability, efficiency and collaboration.

Please vote for Dorothy Lenard for Mayor on April 7 or anytime before then at City Hall.

Extraordinary times demand an experienced leader.

That leader is Dorothy Lenard.

Paid for by Friends of Dorothy Lenard for mayor, David Morrison, Treasurer

March 26 2009

Social Networking Second Supper’s finally on the social networking bandwagon, with a whole chain of townies to answer our deliciously revealing questions.

Each week, the interviewee will name someone they're connected to, who will become the next person interviewed, and so it shall continue. You see? We really are all connected.

the top

NAME AND AGE: Bradley Butterfield, 45

CITY OR COUNTRY? City (though never L.A.)

BIRTHPLACE: Philadelphia, PA

IF YOU COULD PLAY ANY INSTRUMENT PERFECTLY, WHAT WOULD IT BE? The kazoo (just kidding, I'd play guitar).

CURRENT JOB: UW-La Crosse English professor DREAM JOB: Teaching half the load I do now and reading and writing with the rest of my time for a million dollars a year.

COVETED SUPERPOWER: Ability to play sadistic supernatural pranks on Bush and Cheney for the rest of their lives, like make them both dream about French kissing each other every night, or make one of their butts grow about a quarter pound a day until he has to have liposuction, or make one of them see random squirrels and birds wearing sunglasses whenever he's alone so he begins to question his sanity, or make one unable to wipe clean, ever, no matter how much TP he uses, or....

DREAM VACATION: Tropical island with my wife and all my friends FAVORITE LOCAL RESTAURANT: Traditions FAVORITE BAR IN TOWN: The Radisson (no crowd, no music so loud you can't talk to your friends, best vodka tonics)

TELL US A JOKE: What's the difference between a duck?

Two of his legs are both the same. Ha ha ha ha ha ha!!

3 MOVIES YOU’D TAKE ON A DESERTED ISLAND: Moulin Rouge, Mary Poppins, Dodge Ball 3 BOOKS YOU’D TAKE TO PRISON: Moby Dick, The Brothers Karamazov, The Tropic of Cancer 3 CDs YOU’D TAKE ON A ROAD TRIP: The Grateful Dead at RFK Stadium 1973 (bootleg--it's four cds, actually, but I'm assuming they count as one because it's a single show); Bradley's Gangsta Rap mix #1: Bitches 'n Money (for when I'm feeling the road rage);Van Morrison's Astral Weeks (for when I'm in my profound and spiritual groove) WHAT IS IN YOUR POCKETS RIGHT NOW? I'm sitting naked at my computer (sorry about the image, I was just about to take a shower) HOW DO YOU KNOW ANNA? Through Patty (and sometimes I like to torture her kids).

Smells that may or may not be unpleasant 1.

2.

3.

4.

5.

6.

7.

The beach Freshly opened tennis balls Sage Your own farts WD-40 Sauerkraut Girl poop

Second Supper Classifieds 5 bdrm. apts., 1414 Pine St. next to UW-La Crosse, Off street parking, onsite laundry, dishwasher, low utilities, Available 6-1-09 or 8-1-09 call 608-782-RENT (7368)

Reasons Obama went on Leno 1.

2.

3.

4.

5.

Couldn’t hold out for Conan.

Owed Eubanks a favor.

Is a closet Garth Brooks fan.

Harley ride to sweeten the deal.

Boycotting CBS until downtown La Crosse gets service.

6. Schaeffer freaks him out.

7. An economic recession, like Jay Leno, is not funny.

Signs you're not doing well in your NCAA bracket 1.

2.

3.

4.

You picked WTC to go all the way.

It's only the north vs. the south.

You listen to Dick Vitale.

Principal Strickland confiscated your sports atlas from the future.

5. You filled it out in November.

6. Your attention was wrapped in the World Baseball Classic.

7. You spent way too much time filling it out.

3 Bedroom Apartment Close to campus available June 1st $750 call 385-8523 2 bdrm, apts., 720 Oakland St. next to UW-La Crosse, Off street parking, onsite laundry, uppers with deck & ac $650/ month, Lowers $620/month available 6-109 call 608-782-RENT (7368) Bed: Queen Pillowtop Mattress Set New in plastic $165 Full Sized $135 King Sized $265, Can Deliver 608-399-4494 The Hideaway Brew Pub and Restaurant in Chaseburg is looking for a server/bartender. To apply, please call Jack at (608) 483-2777.

April 19

Live Music Every Night

Earth Day Celebration

Multi-Band Show

Free Beer & Food From 5-CL

3 Bedroom Apartment on La Crosse Street available for the school year starting June 1st call 385-8523

Second Supper vol. 9, issue 156

Do This

Looking for something a little different for your weekend entertainment? If so, head on down to UW-La Crosse’s Mitchell Hall on Saturday or Sunday and treat yourself to the Three Rivers Community Pow-Wow. You will certainly NOT be disappointed. What could be better than listening to some wicked traditional drumming and seeing a two-step contest? And the best part is you can join in the fun during the inter-tribal dance. You don’t even need to know the steps, just play a little follow the leader and make sure you’re rocking clockwise. The head drum will be Nizhakisuc Nawana with the Wisconsin Dells Singers. And Nizhakisuc Nawana won’t be the only one drumming your socks off, with special guest drums by Bearheart and Pipestone & Midnite Express you’ll be grooving to the beat all afternoon. Never been to a Pow-Wow? Don’t worry you need not be a member of a Native American tribe or have access to traditional Native American clothing. Just rock your comfy kicks and Levis and head on down and watch the fun. And remember that even if you’re just watching you’re still a participant. So set aside those fears and those cold beers and head over to Mitchell Hall and check out what Bearheart and company have to offer. I mean with a name like Bearheart you know they mean business.

— Nate Willer

Gift Certificates Books By Local Authors Best Sellers La Crosse History Books Wisconsin History Boo ks Do It Yourself Books Childrens Books Craftsman Books

608.782.3424

Do w n t o w n L a Crosse

Pearl Street Books

WHAT: La Crosse Three Rivers Community Pow-Wow WHERE: UW-La Crosse Mitchell Hall WHEN: Saturday, March 28 12:30 p.m. – 11 p.m. ; Sunday, March 29 11:30 a.m.– 5 p.m.

COST: Free, with donation

Saturday 3.28.2009

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March 26 2009

Mommy Madness

INTERRUPTIONS

are for soap operas.

By Amber Miller amber.miller@secondsupper.com

MARCH 19TH 2.5 BUCKS 1.5 BUCKS

MARCH MADNESS CHEESEBURGER & FRIES

DURING ALL GAMES

COORS LIGHT PINTS

DURING ALL GAMES

MyEaglesNest.NET

ALL SPECIALS ARE SUBJECT TO CHANGE

Helm/Animal House Dart Tourney March 22 Sign up at 12:30 play all day!!

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Walk In Get a Ticket for a 2for1 Drink Drawing at 12:30 To Choose Who Spins 1 Lucky Winner Every Thursday!

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For All Ages Over 21!

There are lots of really cool things about being a parent — getting to read all the trippy books from when you were a kid, dressing your baby up in the most ridiculous clothes you can find, becoming a pretty creative singer-songwriter, having a really good excuse to eat healthily and plant a garden, teaching a brand-new person everything you know, playing with super neat toys, to name a few. Sometimes I buy really cool toys “for my son,” but really they’re for me to play with too…

There’s some other stuff that isn’t so great: the obvious — kids are stinky, drooling, and incessantly sticky. When you have a little kid, your glasses will be smudged. Always. Your friends will either a.) stop calling you or b.) totally forget that you now have a child and call you at 10:00 p.m. to invite you to come downtown…right now…when you don’t have a babysitter. It sucks when your kid (hence, you) won’t sleep, and it really sucks when he’s sick and you can’t do anything about it.

And maybe this will come as a surprise to some people — it can be damn lonely. People don’t get that; they think that if you’re with a baby all day, it’s impossible to be lonely. Yes, a baby is a person, but it’s not the same. This is coming mostly from the perspective of a single parent of course, but there was a time when I wasn’t a single parent, and it was still lonely when baby-daddy was working. It’s really, truly, to-the-bone exhausting to be entrusted with the care of a small child, and doing it by yourself, be it because your partner is at school or work or because, God forbid, you’re single, is crazy hard.

Saying that it’s hard may seem like stating the obvious, but as always, it’s the little things that make it real close to impossible sometimes. For instance: what if you co-sleep with your baby and you have to pee in the middle of the night? Solution: get really good at peeing while holding your sleeping child in one arm.

Revision: get really good at doing absolutely everything with one hand. I can effectively do almost anything one-handed — make coffee (or a whole meal, if necessary), do laundry, carry an overflowing diaper bag, million-pound backpack, squirming child, coffee cup, and water bottle from the house to the car. (Note: to all you people who ask me why my water bottle is terribly dented, reread the above sentence and try it yourself!) Not that I never put the kid down, but now I also have mad dancing/entertaining skills while accomplishing a variety

of activities. Next time you brush your teeth, try dancing simultaneously — it’s bound to be a good time.

But back to the loneliness thing: when your baby is brand new, it can be really difficult and unadvisable to go anywhere with said child. For one thing, tiny babies have fragile immune systems, so exposing them to the snot-filled air of busy public places, complete with handsy strangers isn’t the best idea ever. And it isn’t actually fun to pack up all the baby crap you need to leave the house (dear lord, the smallest people need such an unreasonable amount of stuff), change and dress baby, make sure you don’t have spit-up or mashed yams all over yourself (but often ignore it when you do), remember your wallet and keys, change diaper again because he pooped, then change baby’s clothes again because the diaper didn’t quite catch all the goodies, take a really deep breath, and go grocery shopping. Then, if you’re lucky, the kid will have a major melt-down when the cart is full of groceries, and you have to find somewhere to stash the cart, find a bathroom, and nurse the baby…yeah, not my idea of entertainment.

But sometimes you just can’t stand staying in your house all day, with no adult conversation whatsoever. There was a time when I would have been happy to have a conversation with anyone over the age of nine. Or to even just see other people…which brings me to coffee (I always get there, somehow). I used to be so utterly irritated with people who bring their babies/children to coffeehouses. I was the Ahole who would eye-roll, sigh loudly, and crank up my headphones…but then I became one of those people. Now, to be fair, I only went when baby was sleeping, snuggled up in a sling on my chest. If he woke up and freaked out, we would leave. But I felt really bad about how pissed I used to be at those people…if you’re guilty of hating on mommies and daddies in cafes, just realize how much work it probably was just to get there and chug a couple cups of coffee, and that it may be the only thread of sanity that mommy or daddy is clinging to.

So there you have it — parenthood, exposed. Even though it is really hard, you get used to it and you adapt quickly. You still know it’s draining, but it doesn’t really feel draining after a while. That’s probably because the best part of having a baby, hands-down, is getting to be the center of the universe to another human being, one that you made, no less. When you’re the only person in the world who knows that “nuh-mun” means “snowman,” or that he really likes to dance to either bluegrass or AC/DC in the morning, or that he likes you to make a sound like a rocket taking off when you spin his mobile…it’s like understanding the secret code of some long-lost civilization. When your kid is absolutely distraught, and all you do is pick him up and hold him and he settles down immediately, you feel pretty magical. Knowing that you’re the only person in the world (besides maybe your co-parent) who really gets your kid is pretty empowering, and it definitely negates all the not-so-fun aspects of parenting.

Second Supper vol. 9, issue 156

Y Marks the Spot

Spank Me

hideaway All You Can Eat

By Brett Emerson brett.emerson@secondsupper.com I’ve had some bad birthdays: breaking up a band on my 18th, last year’s elbows-to-knees bathtub vomitaganza, and a 25th birthday that has thus far gone down as the lowest point of my life. Then again, most of my vernal equinox birth-o-ramas are glorious events, in part because I have a friend whose birthday is three days before mine and we often go twosies.

Poppers and I have filled a hotel Jacuzzi with Kool-Aid and ridden razor scooters into the pool, thrown a White Lightning-fueled creepshow in California, played terrible high school art shows (terribly), and put on a gathering two years ago which ultimately provided the usual gas mask and dress photo for this column — as well as a sweet picture of the Snake eating a sandwich out of my pants.

This year’s birthday goes in the win column.

Saturday, the anniversary of my existence, wasn’t a good party day. My usual cohort had to work, and I had downtown plans to accomplish. So we threw the Stately Y Manor party on Friday. For a while it was suggested that it be a costume party. The Snake would put on his usual clown makeup, Poppers would don his gorilla suit, and the Leprechaun would dress up like the Hamburglar. But it didn’t work out that way; though Snake clowned it up and wore a red sequined Men on Film cowboy hat, the gorilla suit never came, Lep didn’t have any striped shirts and had to wear a hastily assembled substitute, and nobody else dressed up.Then again, they didn’t need to.

My costume was, well, I’m not sure. Recycling, I guess: the old dress, the fairy wings from my Halloween Tampire, rainbow suspenders that might have fit a ten year old, my Beldings kneepads, garish eyeshadow and lipstick, and TWO bow ties. (First among equals, Bow Tie Killers!) It was Bizarro glam at its height.

As friends filtered in and the bottles of liquor multiplied, two distinct crowds began to form. One congregation amassed in the kitchen; these were the drinkers, the cake eaters, the more rational of us. The rest of us had a Silence of the Lambs-inspired dance party in my bedroom and acted like fools. People jumped on the bed. Larry ate half my cake and vanished — which I think turned him into the Hamburglar, after all. Poppers watched his Kevin Costner 3-pack in the living room. At some point I began to wrestle the Snake to the ground and — I’m hoping due to some Wesley Willis schizophrenic joyride — began to head-

March 26 2009

butt him. Snake would pin me to the ground, I’d promise to stop, and when he let go I’d jump on him again.

At the end, I decided that it would be a good idea to pass out on my porch couch, in the cold spring air. When the crowd tried to bring me inside I got kind of mean, so they eventually left me alone. After the porch emptied, I snuck in and grabbed a blanket from my bed, then went back outside — going the extra stubborn mile to get my way. It wasn’t that cold when I woke up at six and went to bed, finally taking off the wings.

Charles Bronson greeted my return to consciousness on Saturday afternoon. I tottered over to the couch and watched his magnum opus, Death Wish, marveling at what a layered, thoughtful action movie it was.There’s no retribution against the villainous Jeff Goldblum and his gang of thugs, just a guy with sweet '70s hair and pencil mustache turning tragedy into a greater mission. Death Wish is, dare I say, a little Batmanesque, though its sequels are crap.

The evening came, and a group of us went to the Warehouse to see Seneca, a band the Supper featured a few months ago following the group's last La Crosse show. It was a packed non-alcoholic crowd — which in this town is to say that about thirty people were in attendance. Really, La Crosse.The problem isn’t that you drink; it’s that after a certain point in the day you won’t go where you can’t — even if that means missing one of the best bands to come through town in recent memory. Which it did. Shame, shame.

During its previous Warehouse show in December, Seneca put on a fine example of its vast spectrum of rock. This time, a great show was even better. The music roared through the darkened room, each song carrying an intensity that never slipped into self-pitying angst or nihilistic fury. Everything flowed so well together and the band members were in high form, delivering a beautiful and fantastic set.

Above their clear musical talents, the members of Seneca are also great fun at a bar.

After the show, the horde of us hit the bars and we drank like the drowning. The red sequined hat reappeared and was passed around. Rick Astley played again and again. Camaraderies were renewed. Nobody was sane at the end.

The Snake carried four of us home, and a Wild brother held a one man after bar with a bunch of bananas. It was kind of weird.

On Sunday, I rested, gloriously not hung over.

Now I have enough booze to last me for at least a month. Spank me.

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Do you think this milk's gone bad?

By Ben Clark

ben.clark@secondsupper.com Ahhh! Spring’s just around the corner, and winter-weary Wisconsinites (and Minnesotans) shed their jackets for long-sleeves and step outside to enjoy the warm weather, as well as the smell of spring in the air. The sense of smell is indeed a testament to the millennia of evolved traits that have led us to be able to distinguish between the gentle fragrance of a lilac or helping our roommate determine if their gallon of milk has indeed gone bad (Pro tip: if you have to ask someone if it’s gone bad, it most likely hasn’t. Believe me, you’ll know.)

So let’s follow our noses onto the scented path of adventure!

For all animals that have a sense of smell, it’s all based of chemical reactions between specialized cells and different types of odorcausing molecules. In land-dwelling animals that breathe gaseous atmosphere, these specialized cells called olfactory epithelium cells exist in the nasal cavity. For sea-dwelling creatures, the same specialized cells are found in the nasal cavity, but are able to detect the odor-causing molecules in much more minute concentrations. Insects, however, have these specialized cells located within their antennae. Next time you look down at wonderment at that monarch that’s landed on your finger, keep in mind that that butterfly is fully aware of how you haven’t showered in a few days.

So how exactly do these odor-causing molecules cause us to smell something in the first place? Well, like I said, it’s all chemistry, folks. Most odor-causing molecules are in fact organic compounds, meaning that they’re chemicals made up with a strong carbon backbone with other elements and chemical groups attached to them. Our ability to recognize how different chemicals smell is completely subjective, as they typically illicit an emotional response in the brain once we smell them.

Because of this, we are unable to determine what a substance is made up based on smell alone. However, some professional perfumists and flavorists for companies that specialize in creating new perfumes and artificial flavors for food items are able to discern between specific ingredients and chemicals in a product based simply of smell alone.

Currently, no one is exactly sure on how

these specific chemicals interact with the olfactory epithelium cells to illicit a nervous system response towards the smell. Right now, the most accepted theory is that these odor-causing molecules only react with a specific olfactory receptor cell in the nose, which in turn reacts and sends an electrical signal to the brain for further analysis. This theory is the one that is most supported with empirical evidence, and actually led to two scientists (Buck and Axel) winning the Nobel Prize back in 2004. Under this model, each olfactory receptor cell is only able to bind correctly with one type of molecule, though the olfactory epithelium cells that make up the ends of the receptor cells contain millions of identical receptors for the molecule. In most mammals, there have been over a thousand genes identified which are responsible for the olfactory system, but only ever contains a significantly smaller portion of these genes every being expressed.

Meaning that in the millions of years of evolution, we have genes for a large variety of odor detecting proteins and cells, but we only ever use a small fraction. Consider these genes to be vestigial parts left over from our past.

And speaking of fun aspects of toying with your olfactory system, consider this.

There have been studies that have proved that practically all organisms on earth, including most mammals (including humans) respond to pheromones. Pheromones are chemicals that trigger a natural response in other members of that species. For example, when women were exposed to the smell of others women sweat taken before, during, and after ovulation, it was revealed that the women who smelled the sweat before ovulation had shorter menstrual cycles, while when the smelled it during menstruation, it actually lengthened their individual cycles. It has also been documented women are able to during their menstruation smell pheromones that relate to the HLA genes (Human Leukocyte Antigen) which are a cluster of genes that are responsible for a majority of the expression of immune system. During this time, women are able to smell some aspect of the gene cluster, and at this time prefer partners who contain different HLA genes than their own. In a evolutionary stance, this makes sense, as the more variety you could toss into the genetic mix between two species will result in the most unique mix, and probably, the strongest of the offspring.

The next time you walk into the kitchen, and you smell your roommate’s Tombstone pizza cooking in the oven, you can now totally start a conversation on how you both smell that delicious and potentially awesome pizza coming from the oven. And the next time you’re at the bar…well, remember what I said about pheromones…and please, try not to overdo it on the Axe (you’re only hurting yourself!) Thanks again kiddies, and until next time, keep your nose to the wind!

Our favorite smells Banana bread baking For me, my favorite smell is the smell of a fresh loaf of banana bread baking in the oven. I think that I attribute this to my youth, when I would help my dad with the mashing of the overly ripe bananas and ultimately, helping him pour the newly made batter into a loaf pan. In my mind, there was nothing better than a newly made loaf of sweet, delectable banana bread fresh from the oven (possibly besides eggnog coming out in November).

Now that I’m here in La Crosse and semi-faring for myself, one my favorite activities is letting a bunch of bananas get too ripe and making up a fresh loaf of banana bread. Needless to say, I still feel the same way when I smell the loaves baking in the oven, and that sense of anticipation of the banana bread comes back. And might I add, my roommates would all agree that I can bake some kick-ass banana bread.

Cherry blossoms

— Ben Clark

What is my favorite smell you ask? That is not an easy question to answer. It’s like asking me what my favorite song is or what my favorite food is. There are nearly too many smells to choose from.

When our editor asked me this question a few answers jumped into my head immediately: the robust aroma of a fresh brewed pot of coffee, or the damp smell in the air just before or just after a spring rain, the summer smell of freshly cut grass, the smoky smell of brats cooking over a grill.

But none of these smells really evokes the right type of feelings that go along with what should be a favorite smell.

While sitting in traffic on my ride home I caught a slight whiff of my absolute favorite smell, cherry blossoms. Cherry blossoms don’t have a strong sent like some of the smells I mentioned above but they have an unmistakable aroma. As the sweet delicate smell wafts through my nose I can’t help but smile and believe that nothing else in the world matters at that moment in time.

The smell of cherry blossoms smell like life renewed, and the sight that accompanies the fragrance is nearly as breathtaking as the smell itself. And both the sight and smell of cherry blossoms don’t last more than a few weeks. Cherry trees come into bloom right as winter is finally relinquishing it’s hold on nature, when I walk amidst a row of blooming cherry trees I know that warmer and brighter days are ahead.

— Nate Willer

Freshly cut grass

It's ironic that one of my favorite smells is associated with such distaste in my memory. It is the embodiment of summer and marks the shift from frigid cold to endless days spent playing in the warm sun. It's the smell of a freshly cut lawn, so crisp and clean and green, you just want to fill your lungs with it. As a child, this smell represented one of my most hated chores in the world, mowing the lawn. It was so much work and our lawn was so big since we lived out in the country, it seemed an impossible task, an Everest that would never be scaled. I would wrack my brain to come up with any reason to excuse myself from the tedious task, but my complaints always fell on deaf ears. "Mow the lawn." my father would say. It was even worse when our riding mower was broken and I had to push mow our entire nearly 2 acre lawn. Whining and complaining, I would begrudgingly, eventually do it, but I wasn't happy about it. Now, living in the city, I find myself missing the smell of a just-mowed lawn, but don't get me wrong, I still hate mowing the lawn.

— El Jefe

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Saturday March 28

Dred I Dread/Littlefield 4.3 Moonshine Conspiracy

Second Supper vol. 9, issue 156

Experiment

Eau de vie It was December 23 of 2004, and I was still looking for the perfect gift for my closest friend. As I frantically buzzed throughout the display tables at a quaint boutique shop in my hometown., I finally spotted it: a tiny bottle of perfume. The scent? Gin & Tonic...my friend's favorite drink. The gift was supposed to be more of a novelty than anything. After all, who would want to smell like an alcoholic beverage?

Well, the folks at Demeter Fragrance Library think their customers do. Apparently, they also want to smell like Tomato, Bonfire, and even <gulp> Earthworm.

I had to investigate. Demeter's Web site (www.demeterfragrance.com) proudly offers hundreds of everyday scents, all of which are undeniably spot on. Spray their Tomato scent, and you're hands will smell like they've been brushed by the greens of the plant after picking the fruit from your garden. Dab on a little Bonfire, and your co-workers will think you just got back from a weekend-long camping trip. So why create scents like Shortbread over Chanel?

Mark D. Crames, CEO of Demeter Fragrance Library, believes people are drawn to his scents because of strong ties to good memories.

"It is always fascinating to engage people one on one, and talk about the memories and contexts that different scents evoke," Crames writes on his blog. "Almost everyone has great memories associated with Vanilla Cake Batter, and it is hard to have anything but a powerful and positive reaction to Baby Powder, but after that, the reactions can get pretty unpredictable."

Sure, I could see the draw of smelling like cake batter, but I remained skeptical about the more offensive scents until I sat down and came up with a list of my own favorite smells: Murphy's Oil Soap. Clean sheets dried in the summer breeze. Diesel exhaust.

Campfire. Old, musty garage. Coffee brewing.

Cabbage cooking. Yeasty bread dough. Hops flowers. Charcoal grill. Chlorine. Play-Doh. Extinguished candles. Old books. Chopped celery.

Garlic sauteeing in oil.

Yeah, they're not all pretty. But I get a cozy, enveloping feeling when I smell them, and that's what I want in a scent... even if it is intended for my skin. To my delight, Demeter has indeed produced a Play-Doh perfume for the beloved toy's 50th anniversary that's so real it's just like sticking your nose in the yellow plastic container. I'm still waiting for Murphy's Oil Soap.

— Briana Rupel

The day that stank Our writer sprays it on it on thick to stink like a woman, a 14-year-old boy, and a hippie

By Emily Faeth

emily.faeth@secondsupper.com Christian Hansen In the first two installments of our “Senses” series, two of my fellow writers — Adam Bissen and Briana Rupel — deprived themselves of the senses of sound and sight, respectively.

Adam and Bri wrote about the difficulties they faced during their sensory deprivation experiments. But when it came time to do a similar experiment for this issue, we were momentarily stumped. How would one deprive herself of the sense of smell, and more importantly, would one day without smelling the smells of La Crosse really matter? Certainly, an inability to smell wouldn't be as much of a hindrance as the inability to see or hear would.

So we decided to turn the experiment on its head, in a sense. Instead of depriving myself of my olfactory ability for a day, I would alter the experience of aromas for the people I encountered. So, for three days, I doused myself with various scents — some pleasant, others not so much — and recorded the reactions of those I subjected to my scent-assault.Along the way, though, I was also confronted with the notion that, though overlooked, the sense of smell plays a larger role in our daily interactions than most of us probably realize.

Day One: Smell Like a Girl

Impress your out-of-state friends.

Show them our Web site. www.secondsupper.com (You can read it, too.)

March 26 2009

Okay, this one was kind of a cop-out, but I had to start somewhere. I don't normally wear perfume, but for Christmas two years ago, my mom gave me a perfume set by Paris Hilton which I affectionately dubbed “Eau de Skank.” So at 8 p.m. last Thursday, as I prepared to head over to my brother and his girlfriend, Nicole's place, I grabbed my still-full bottle of Eau de Skank and sprayed copious amounts of the bubble-gum pink liquid all over my neck, clothes, and jacket.

I sprayed so much of the stuff I could taste it, and I couldn't imagine how the overwhelming smell could be perceived as pleasant by anyone.

Nevertheless, when I arrived, the first thing Nicole said was, “Emily, you smell good.” “Really?”

I asked. “It kind of smells like cotton candy,” said my friend Jake. Overall, the reactions to my first scent-assault were positive. But I guess the

most poignant result of my first day of the experiment was that the reactions were limited to a few simple compliments, and the subject was dropped. But the lack of reactions to my experiment was not to continue.

Day Two: Smell Like a Guy The following night was fellow Second Supper contributor Brett Emerson's 29th birthday party. Attempting to be fashionably late, I started getting ready for the party around 9:30 p.m. I commandeered my boyfriend's can of Tag body spray and followed the same ritual of the previous night. Then I splashed on some of his Cool Water aftershave for good measure. I also stashed a third bottle of cologne in my bag to take with me for good measure. Then I headed to the party.

The first person I encountered was Second Supper's resident closet-homosexual, Ben Clark.The scent of the cologne had an immediate effect on him. “Whoa,” said a glassy-eyed Ben, swaying and clutching a beer. “Whatcha doin' later?” As Ben has no attraction to me as far as I know, I had to conclude it was my masculine scent he found enticing. The guest of honor had a similarly curious reaction. “You smell like a meadow of freshly picked flowers, and I feel good about life because of it,” Brett said, though I might note that he later added that his sense of smell is quite poor.

Day Three: Smell Like a Hippie Saturday night, my brother and his girlfriend invited my boyfriend, Aaron, and I to go bowling.

I decided to take the experiment to a more frightening level: before leaving the house, I coated my skin in a greasy layer of patchouli oil.

My brother pulled up in his hearse, and Aaron and I climbed in. “Oh God!” exclaimed Nicole.

“What the hell are you wearing today?”

We met a few friends at the bowling alley, and while we waited for a lane to open, we sat at the bar with our drinks. Unlike the previous two nights, my scent was hardly dismissed

with an off-handed comment. Indeed, it was the topic of conversation. My friends debated the level of its rancidness. “You smell like an old lady,” said Aaron. “It's just so strong — definitely not pleasant,” said Nicole. Even the girls waiting in line for shoes with me turned and gave me dirty looks when I approached, as if I had offended them with my presence.

I bowled better that night than I ever have in my life (though not as good as the president, apparently). When I excitedly ran back to my friends after bowling yet another strike, I threw my arms around Aaron. He stepped back cautiously. “Um,” he said. “Let's stick to high-fives for now.” Momentarily stung, I quickly got over it and realized my overwhelming odor was only a temporary barrier.

Obviously, my experiment didn't follow the scientific method, and I really didn't have a hypothesis when I began. But the reactions of my friends to my various odors did lead me to some conclusions. I realized that the sense of smell plays a much larger role in our day than I initially thought. People simply don't talk about smells unless they're unusual. More importantly, though, was the effect smells have on more intimate interactions. If I kept on smelling like a nasty hippie, chances are, my boyfriend would have kept withholding hugs. And that would have sucked. So while I'm not suggesting we start a body odor support group for people with unpleasant aromas or anything (though I'm open to the idea), I am suggesting that it would be wise to take our senses of smell less for granted.

Jojo Brockberg

Bad goth poetry

Second Supper fiction

Chanel in Charnel

By: Caspian Shadowmort When Grandmere declares, “We shalt go out to dine!”

I sigh, a long, wounded sigh Then hold my breath ‘til cerulean tinges Bring sting to my cheeks and death nigh to eye

By a bagatelle Fiction Robert Treu Amos Give me an ounce of civet; good apothecary, sweeten my imagination King Lear

Parfois on trouve un vieux flacon qui se souvient, D’où jaillit toute vive une âme revient.

Baudelaire

We devour deliverance at the buffet in silence As I tremble within olfactory abyss I must take flight soon from this blue-haired Beelzebub Grandmere smells like cat piss.

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About that time Erika was thinking, “I’ll bet it was the cat.” She was certain it was cat smell that drove Amos away that morning. And it was Max’s cat. Son of a bitch, she thought, how ironic was that? He had taken the cat with him, but she’d never get rid of the smell he had left behind. Max was like a dog, marking his territory with his urine. Son of a bitch indeed.

The funny thing was, she could barely smell it herself. She had a sharp enough nose, but if you lived with a smell long enough, you got used to it. Only after she had spent a long weekend in Milwaukee with friends did she get it. When she opened the door to that dead air, it was as if Max were still there.

A smell could be intensely erotic. She had loved Max’s musky heat, but coming into a room where two strangers had been making love was disgusting. Not at all a pleasant smell. She didn’t know about Amos, because things hadn’t reached that point. That fucking cat! They made a great scent, Chanel #5 in fact, from the glands around a cat’s ass. A civet maybe.

Funny how few writers could get smells into words. Proust for sure, but he did everything that way, a way of recapturing a lost world. And maybe Dostoevsky’s Petersburg stench. And of course old Herrick, sticking his beefy nose into his girl’s everywhere and savoring it.

That afternoon Erika pulled up the carpeting in the living room and hallway and discovered the source of the smell, a dark stain in the floor boards that reeked of cat. She could get rid of the smell, but she’d have to buy new carpeting.

But what did it matter? She’d never see him again.

‘Tis a crystalline orb, its tincture absorbed Within every pore of my paranoid dreams Fingers heft it aloft, so arthritic and soft And she hoses herself with a Stygian stream

West Ave.

10

Erika

She gathers her brooch and her blouse and her girdle Her best dining finery, flower-print frippery Sweeps mothballs away from the bureau like marbles And grasps for the glass which makes my slope so slippery

4th St.

Although Amos hadn’t seen Erika since that confusing night in her apartment, her smell lingered. Not her smell exactly, the smell of her apartment. It stank. Her voice was marvelous, a resonant, low-pitched cello of a voice. And he liked her earthy look, the casualness of her dress. But in the middle of reliving his brief encounter with her, there was always something else that entered in, like the evil marplot of Hawthorne’s stories. The smell. Not strong really, but sharp and unpleasant. He had thought of mentioning it to her, but at the time it seemed like very bad strategy. For Amos, smells were of all impressions the hardest to remember. He was always forgetting them and he could never find words to describe them. But this one, the one in Erika’s apartment, was hard to shake. It smelled like, say it, shit or piss.

Of course there is something very subjective about smell. Coming home after a few months in the dry Southwest, the smell of bovine manure had delighted him like the most exotic of perfumes. He wanted to bottle it and sell it to uprooted Midwesterners.

Anyway, the odor might have been left behind by Max, or whatever her lover’s name was.

The place was littered with his things and they could be expected to load the air with his aura.

Or what if it were Amos himself? One of the rowdy boys he ran with in school liked to fart, preferably in enclosed public places, spreading a noxious and silent gas as a punishment to the world. When one of his friends would call him out, the boy would poke his finger at his accuser’s chest and shout: “A skunk smells his own hole first.”

Whatever its source, it wasn’t Erika herself. In fact, she emitted only a faint smell, a thin mire of soap and perspiration, the smell of a sunny child in the middle of summer.

Somewhere he had read that astronauts lost their sense of smell in the weightlessness of space. Which would explain, no doubt, the heaviness he felt around him when he thought of her, like wearing a calf-length coat of the thickest wool. It felt like penance. Smell does not have a moral dimension, he tried to reason. He wanted to believe that, but a hint of sin seemed to simmer in his memory of the smell and it made him suspicious. It turned her sudden emotion in the middle of the night into something ominous.

Finally it came to him. Cat. Cat was what it was. Amos had never had a cat, but he knew the smell when he came upon it. Besides, he remembered picking up cans of cat food from the concrete surface of the parking lot when her

groceries spilled. So it had to be cat. But what cat? He had seen no cat in her apartment.

What did that matter? What happened happened, and that was it.

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Note: The author is fully aware of the cruel irony in which he has trapped his characters, and he understands the reader’s frustration and impatience.

On the other hand, he would point out that the fault lies foremost with the editor, who assigned a series of pieces centered on the senses.The author was thus led into territory he had no plans of visiting, and with no idea of how to find his way out again. He does, however, promise to sort things out as sensibly as possible in future issues.

Second Supper vol. 9, issue 156

Rd

Think your job stinks? Try these.

Smell of death

— El Jefe

Dirty diapers If you ask anyone who has raised a child what the worst smell they’ve had to deal with is, the answer is almost certainly dirty diapers. I could almost write this article strictly about motherhood being one of the smelliest jobs, and it certainly is. Being a mother is definitely not a glamorous job, not by a long shot. I’m not just talking diapers either; the smell just ends up there. Anna, the mother of a young boy, is a daycare worker, and she enlightened me as to some of the other smells that go along with taking care of a child. She works with one other teacher taking care of eight children, along with raising her son when she’s not working.

Well, let’s get down and dirty, diapers that is.

Anna has to change a whopping 75 diapers during an average workweek, all ending up in the garbage. Ironically, an employee from the Xcel Energy plant said that dirty diapers were one of the worst smells he has to deal with as well. Along with the diapers, Anna also has to contend with vomit, baby spittle, and the smell of formula. I asked her if any particular foods came out smellier than others and she said definitely “vegetables and spicy foods.” They do put fragrance in some diapers, but it does little more than take the edge off. So, has she gotten used to dealing with the smells? “Oh yeah, after a while you just accept the fact that your job involves smells.” Although she mentioned that yesterday was one of the worst smelling diapers she’s ever had to change. Well, with all these unpleasant smells, why would anyone want to be a daycare worker? Anna responded, “Even though my job is smelly, I still love what I do. The kids I work with are awesome and I know I’m making a positive difference in their lives.”

— El Jefe

— Adam Bissen

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When it comes to ranking foul smells, truckloads of garbage have to be up towards the top.

But employees at the Xcell Energy power plant on French Island work around a smell that’s even harder to fathom — truckloads of burning garbage.

“Dirty diapers are probably the worst,” explains Joe Kessler, an apprentice plant attendant who has worked at the French Island site for over a year. “We get some cheese loaves that go through our plant, and they’re mixed with plastics and that’s a pretty bad smell. That one will make you pretty nauseous.”

In Xcell Energy-ese, the local generating plant runs on “refuse-derived fuel.” It’s an uncommon and complex process, but basically the power plant burns our garbage to produce electricity.

Xcell provides clothing to wear in the plant as well as a face mask, but Kessler says it doesn’t do much to help the smell. Still, he says it’s a good work environment and a challenging job, and he just considers the odor to be a part of the occupation. For the most part, Kessler said he’s gotten used to the smell, but it can be a pretty rude awakening first thing in the morning.

“We get some pretty nasty stuff in every once in a while,” Kessler admits. “You get anywhere from the main rotten garbage you smell every day, and then you’ll be in the plant and you just can’t get rid of the burning diaper smell. Then you’ll get a whiff of, say, baked goods or some perfume or something like that — usually it’s pretty bad, though.”

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OK, I know that sounds like a morbid title, but after you read this you will realize that it’s not as bad as one might think. Like me, I know you’re probably imagining the stench of a rotting corpse, but after my interview with a funeral director, I realized that for the most part, what we generally associate with death is just the stuff of movies. Yes, when a person dies, the body will eventually decompose, but this rarely occurs before the remains can be attended to. Once the deceased is transported to a mortuary they are taken to a preparation room where the worst smell happens. When a person is embalmed, it is done so with a high concentration of formaldehyde mixed with water which causes your eyes to water and your throat to burn. For this reason, most funeral homes invest in expensive ventilation systems.

Also detectable is the smell of bleach used to insure that everything remains sanitary. Once you leave the preparation room and enter into the main area of the funeral home, any unpleasant odors are left behind. There is usually a sitting room for families to rest and relax which generally smells of freshly brewing coffee. The main area of the funeral home is the Chapel where the services and visitations take place.

As you enter, you are greeted by the wonderful fragrance of a large collection of fresh flowers that people have sent with their condolences to the grieving family. At the end of my interview, the funeral director had this to say about his chosen profession. “I know how I care about my own parents and for someone to ask me to take care of their physical presence for the short time they have left after they have died is a great honor.” See, I told you that after you read this you would realize that death doesn’t smell as bad as you’d expect. In fact it smells like flowers.

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Reviews: Your Guide to Consumption

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Pulling another tome from the venerable Joe Gullo Memorial Library, I present you loyal readers with a review of a collection of… movie reviews. Mike Nelson, the king of savaging bad films, penned a museum tour highlighting not only the creamiest cinematic crap but also the worst television, acting dynasties, and individual legends. This collection encapsulates the majesty of the mealy-mouthed '90s, taking shots as films as diverse as Star Trek: Generations, Executive Decision, and Wild Things (goddamn Wild Things). By and large, Nelson’s targets are fairly easy — who’s going to argue for the gravitas and existentialism of Barb Wire?

— but his verbal executions of these classics makes for good, if slightly hammy, fun.

The only surprises to be found are the book’s exclusion of the grandiose, Bastille Day referencing epic Con-Air and its inclusion of the Batman franchise. Nelson isn’t just talking about Batman & Robin, although he admits that B&R is not only the worst movie ever but the worst thing ever. No, he also jives on Jack Nicholson’s “Bob… you… are my number one… guy” Batman, referring to Tim Burton as “… a shockingly overrated director.” Nelson moves on to equate Batman Returns with Batman & Robin, stating that Danny DeVito is “the enemy of everything good and decent in the world.” While It’s Always Sunny in Philadelphia has proven that assertion to be true, Nelson is being a little hard on the Batman.

Medium: Literature Stimulus: Mike Nelson’s Movie Megacheese Anno: 2000

Additionally, I must take exception with Nelson’s review of The Postman, which is largely an expose on the then-novel format of DVDs. His review completely neglects two of the worst movie moments in history. One comes in the introduction of the mayor of a post-apocalyptic town, who is revealed to be Tom Petty, PLAYING Tom Petty! When Costner’s character asks Petty if he used to be famous, the atrociously smarmy Heartbreaker King answers that he used to be. But this crime against humanity pales in comparison with the sight of Costner on horseback, triumphantly snatching a letter from a bright-eyed kid’s hand.

At the end of the film, a statue of The Postman is unveiled which depicts that magnificent image, and a grown-up jackass in the crowd weeps that he was that letter-writing child. Then they play the triumphant scene over! I don’t usually scream at televisions, but I howled at The Postman. It’s one of the worst scenes ever put to film, and Nelson really dropped the ball on this one.

I must also protest his assessment of the great Chris Penn as only fit to play a “gapemouthed idiot.”

Beyond these forgettable snafus, however, Mike Nelson has presented a solid trouncing of some very bad cinema. It’s bathroom reading, sure, but nonetheless terrific

Oh hi, right now I am listening to a stack of records I just got from the Collector Records label (www.collectorrecords.nl). Collector is a company based in The Netherlands that has a few hundred reissues of long forgotten music from the '50s, in genres they describe as “Rockabilly/Rockin’ R&B & Boppin’ Hillbilly” Most of what they have are compilations of old 45's that are either from a certain region or have something in common, such as female rockers or guitar instrumentals, and a lesser amount of full albums put out by not so well know musicians from that era. Overall, these releases would best be described as rockabilly, which was one of the first genres of rock n roll that came about in the early '50s. While rock n roll lifted the rhythms from blues and rhythm and blues found in African-American music of that time played in juke joints and the like, rockabilly combined rock n roll beats with the country twang of hillbilly music, thus the name rockabilly.The epicenter of this music for the most part was Memphis, Tennessee where a radio DJ named Sam Phillips ran a record

— Brett Emerson

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label known as Sun Records that had on its roster well known names such as Elvis Presley, Carl Perkins, Johnny Cash, Jerry Lee Lewis, and Roy Orbison. These guys, who I’m assuming all of you have heard of, began recording songs with Phillips in ‘54 and ’55, which soon took the nation by storm. While rock n roll was attacked for being the devil’s music by many adults back then, it was the kids of American who were going gaga for these songs. These original pioneers of rockabilly at Sun Records inspired thousands of rebels without a cause to pick up a guitar or pound away on a drum kit, which resulted in sock hops and school dances across the country for the next several years, forever altering popular music as we know it.

It is these lesser regional bands, their names forgotten to the masses if ever known at all, that Collector Records has dug up and compiled for your listening pleasure. These songs are full of swagger and energy, and though their danger is completely tame by today’s standards, the excitment is still there..

— Shuggypop Jackson

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Reviews: Your Guide to Consumption Le Merle North Coast Brewing Company Fort Bragg, California Well, it’s the smell issue, and there are few smells in this world that I prefer more than beer. (As for those that come to mind, they won’t be discussed in this family newspaper).

I love the way hops pop in my sinus cavities and the way malts can intoxicate me before I ever take a sip. I study how a beer bursts with an initial nose, hangs on a balanced aroma, and reveals more delicate notes with a longer quaff. You cannot separate a beer from its aroma (see score chart, right), so when selecting a bottle this week I wanted to chose something with a complex smell. I’ve always had an affinity for saison ales, their unusual amalgamation of ingredients and their correspondingly nuanced flavors, so I hoped this bottle of Le Merle would reward me with some interesting nasal play. After sampling a glass, I realized this wasn’t a favorite saison, but it was still more aromatic than three-quarters of the food I ate this month.

After uncorking the bottle, this Belgianstyle ale races into a glass with some of the most carbonation I’d ever seen in a beer. It has a golden straw color, thousands of percolating bubbles, and a thin head that towers over three inches before disappearing after a second. Lifting it to the nose, Le Merle hits like a load of

War Zone (2008)

BEER

Review

damp leaves, musty and astringent, before openAppearance: 8 ing up with sweeter fruit notes like lemon Aroma: 9 zest and banana peel.

There’s also some pepTaste: 8 pery soil aroma in there, and just a little bit of Mouthfeel: 8 bubblegum-y yeast, but I’d like to see the malts Drinkability: 7 play a bigger role in the nose. They certainly come through on the Total: 40 flavor, as Le Merle hits the mouth on a sweet malt that quickly gives way to a sour fruit bite.

In addition to the lemons and bananas, there’s a good amount of cherry taste and it moves to the back of the throat on some biscuit flavor.

Often considered a summer beer, this saison is thin and bubbly and finishes on a dry note.

It many ways, it reminded me of champagne. I can’t wait to pair it with grilled pork or drink it on an 80 degree day; then I’ll really start to make a stink.

— Adam Bissen

Director: Lexi Alexander Cast: Ray Stevenson, Dominic West, Julie Benz Writers: Nick Santora, Art Marcum, Matt Holloway I'm amazed that after completing Punisher: War Zone, the filmmakers didn't cancel its theatrical release and send it straight to DVD. Watching it now on the small screen, I can't imagine why anyone would pay more than three dollars to watch this thing. It's that bad.

It's got the brutal, gruesome violence and action one would expect from a Punisher movie, but even these feel like something out of an awful straight-to-video Steven Seagal movie.

Combine uninteresting action scenes with cardboard characters and an undeveloped non-plot, and you've got yourself a routine action flick that's too much Boondock Saints, not enough Punisher.

Keep in mind this isn't a sequel but a reboot, the third reboot to be exact, of the Punisher franchise. War Zone drops us off in the middle of the action, almost literally: Frank Castle (Ray Stevenson) has been killing off criminals for years now as the Punisher; of course, if you're unfamiliar with the character then you may not know this right away, for most of the first 15-minutes of the movie involves him massacring a mob family before even an inkling of back story or plot appears.

In order to protect the family of an FBI agent

March 26 2009

— Nick Cabreza

Roadie (1980)

Coffee served green Since organic everything is all the rage right now (anyone ever had the organic Cheetos??

Oh the glory of junk food!), I thought we’d talk about organic coffee. Like anything else that is certified organic, coffees need to be produced in a way that doesn’t suck it up for our Mama Earth. This means that the farmers need to have an intimate relationship with their land; they need to know how to deal with changing environmental conditions, pesky pest situations, and the general needs of their lovely shrubs. No pesticides, no chemical fertilizers…hooray!

If a coffee in the U.S. is sold as organic, it means that the beans come from a farm that uses sustainable methods like crop rotation to avoid erosion, keep that soil nice and kushy, and repel bad bugs.

These farms exist in forty coffeegrowing countries around the world, from Bolivia and Costa Rica to Kenya and Rwanda to Thailand and Indonesia.

The funny thing is that many of these farms aren’t going organic because they’re trying to hop on the trendy train — they’ve always produced coffee without cheating by using nasty chemicals. Props to them.

What about all the other labels you often see on organic coffee? Lots of them are also fair trade, shade-grown, and/or bird-friendly.

Not all organic coffee also falls into these

he accidentally killed, Castle will slice off heads, impale someone on an iron fence, shove chair legs through a man's face, and blow off a mobster's head with a shotgun blast at close range, among other things. In other words, War Zone is the blood and guts orgy the previous two Punisher flicks weren't.

I personally liked the previous effort, The Punisher (2004), starring Thomas Jane and John Travolta, and think that Marvel had a good thing going with that particular incarnation and didn't need a reboot. The 2004 version is dark and dramatic, has likable, well-developed characters, and has enough violence to keep action junkies interested. War Zone, similar to last year's Hulk reboot, is more dumbed-down, more violence-centric than its predecessor.

Aside from the look of the film, there's nothing positive to pull away from Punisher: War Zone. It may work for the fans, but it doesn't work for me. Maybe the Punisher simply can't be translated well from page to screen, and if Marvel hopes to get a good Punisher franchise going, they'll unfortunately have to reboot it again.

categories, but many of them do indeed. Fair trade coffee is purchased from small farm cooperatives at a price that isn’t ridiculously low — buying fair trade means that the Guatemalan farmer who grew it isn’t getting ripped off.

It also ensures that the coffee is not genetically modified, as does the organic label.

Good deal, mostly, although there are a few downsides to fair trade, believe it or not. That’s a discussion for a different day…Bird-friendly or shade-grown means that the fields are surrounded by native trees; this means nice vacay homes are still available for migratory birds.

There are other, more creative reasons to use organic coffee as well. For instance, composting coffee grounds is a nice way to fertilize your backyard garden while reusing something instead of throwing it “away.” If your coffee grounds are organic, you won’t be adding any residual chemicals when you add them to your garden.

Another neat ways to reuse your organic coffee grounds: rub them in your hair after shampooing, then rinse for soft, shiny hair. Cool.

— Amber Miller

Directed by: Alan Rudolf Starring: Meat Loaf, Art Carney, Alice Cooper Written by: Big Boy Medlin, Michael Ventura

A group of us, in our Saturday night tradition, gathered around my palatial manor's television this week, soaking up liquor and Bizarro cinema. Some of us played Risk, whereas others pursued arts and crafts. Through the opening stages of button making and Australian turtle blitzkriegs played a film in which, well, none of us are really sure what the hell happened. This wasn’t due to the film being the usual David Lynchian, Jackson Pollock School of Epileptic Cinema. (“It’s not art if you can understand it!”) Rather, our eyebrows raised against the ambiguity of this would-be rock epic, its progression of goofy and senseless scenes and plot alongside an oversaturation of musical legends and legends-in-training. (“It’s not art if Roy Orbison can’t calm a riotous bar with the power of song!”) As the film’s hero spends the majority of his face time under a wide-eyed, delirious-with-demons trance, so did Roadie’s Saturday audience behold this oddity. And in the confusion (“It’s not art if Soul Train’s Don Cornelius isn’t wearing a cowboy hat and grooving to rock n’ roll!”), the movie became Lynchian.

This isn’t the first time I’ve tangled with a Meat Loaf film (or VH1 biopic), nor was it the first time I’ve been grateful for the reassuring effects of Mr. Loaf’s spastic stage pres-

ence. American cinema will always be indebted to Mr. Loaf’s roles as a motorcycling rock acolyte in The Rocky Horror Picture Show and Bitch-Tits Bob in Fight Club. (“It’s not art if his name is Robert Paulson!”) Throughout a movie crammed to the gills with random shit like conveyor phone booths, dentistry by pliers, and Alice Cooper playing with a squishy eye-bugging doll, Mr. Loaf remains constant. That constancy may involve a Chevy Chase level of pratfall comedy and an unholy love for a viciously camel-toed virgin groupie, but dammit, Meat Loaf is an anchor! Sure, he doesn’t go up against an antagonist on par with Rocky Horror’s legendary Dr. Frankenfurter, but running through the New York streets whilst holding hands with a broad in silver space pants and a fur coat resembling a set of cock and balls requires severe spiritual fortitude. He even seduces Parallel Lines-era Debbie Harry! (Unless he didn’t. I’m not really sure that their characters even met.)

What machismo!

Like Edward Norton’s nameless narcoleptic from Fight Club, I feel safe pressed against the heaving bitch-tits of a Meat Loaf performance, even if I don’t know what in sweet Descartes is going on. Cogito, ergo Loaf.

— Brett Emerson 13

o i d u t S r i a H Le Fox 783-2699

Future Sons by Noah Singer

644 2nd Ave N. Near 7 Bridges Restaurant Onalaska

$10

Haircuts Check Out Our Selection Of Sportscards and Crystals!

1206 S. 3rd St. Across From Daves Guitar

519-2INK

College ID = Discount

hours 11am - 7pm open 7 days A Week

Reminds you to support the retailers, restaurants, taverns and bands that support us. We are funded solely by advertising so if you want to support us, support

conscientious commerce: Fight the power.

14

Second Supper vol. 9, issue 156

I'm Jonesin' for a Crossword "Revenge!"--squares in squares.

Answers to Issue 153's "Earning all A's"

By Matt Jones Across 1 King canine 5 Arrive 11 Cobra ___ (bad guys' dojo in "The Karate Kid") 14 Second word of fairy tale openings 15 Anti-itch skin care brand 16 QVC rival 17 Gossip 18 A night out at a restaurant, perhaps 20 It may be impending 22 Veil fabric 23 Sine ___ non 25 Cried 28 Occupied (oneself) 29 2006 dystopian film with Keanu Reeves 32 "___ gut" ("very well," in German) 33 Author Zora ___ Hurston 34 MDMA and "The Clear," to some 40 Regina ___ (hymn to the Virgin Mary)

41 Curling units 43 Disputed inventor of baseball 48 Boneheadedness 49 General ___ chicken 50 Dentist's deg.

51 East ___ (island nation in 2000s news) 52 Actor Mark of "The Full Monty" 54 Pets that are low to the ground

59 Designer for Jackie 62 Samael ___ Weor, founder of the International Gnostic Movement 63 Ventilate

64 "___ #1!"

65 Money source for the permanently disabled: abbr.

66 Early punk rock band with the song "Never Been in a Riot," with "the" 67 Square hidden in each of the five long across answers Down 1 Cow's mouthful 2 AP rival 3 Label on many asses in 1980s fashion 4 "I'm ___ your tricks!"

5 Show set in NYC during the 1960s 6 Windows Media Player file format 7 He's officially back with Barbie as of February 2009 8 Hallow end 9 Vivaldi's Concerto ___ Major 10 Torquemada, notably 11 "The Prophet" author Gibran: var.

12 The "Rick" involved in Rickrolling 13 "___ a hug!"

19 Twilight segment 21 Part of B.Y.O.B. 23 ___ in "queen" 24 "Previously loved" 26 Wrote 27 Outdoor site for some Christmas purchases 28 Like old tires 30 ___ Gratia Artis 31 Rucker of Hootie & the Blowfish 35 It can give some people a headache 36 Actor Busey 37 Ultravox singer Midge 38 Rush's lead singer 39 It may read "Add 23 inches in 3 weeks!"

42 Barrett of Pink Floyd 43 Grenoble goodbyes 44 Bahamas district where Hemingway lived for two years 45 High time?

46 Makes a big deal

out of 47 Blotter material 48 "___ Written" (Nas album) 53 Like this clue 55 ___ fu (pop artist on the Sony Japan label) 56 Dwight Gooden's "medical" nickname 57 Naughts and crosses win 58 Tool for nails or glue 60 Slip up 61 Dropout's certifi-

cation Š2009 Jonesin' Crosswords (editor@jonesincrosswords.com) For answers to this puzzle, call: 1-900226-2800, 99 cents per minute. Must be 18+. Or to bill to your credit card, call: 1-800-655-6548.

Reference puzzle #0407.

Maze Efflux by Erich Boldt

March 26 2009

15

COMMUNITY SERVICE [ Area food & drink specials ] LA CROSSE All Star Lanes Arena 4735 Mormon Coulee ArenaLAX.com

Alpine Inn Animal W5715 BlissHouse rd.

110 3rd st.

Alumni 620 Gillette st.

Beef & Etc.

1203 La Crosse st.

Barrel Inn 2005 West ave.

Barrel Inn 2005 West ave.

Beef & Etc. 1203 La Crosse st.

Brothers The Cavalier 306 st.

114 Pearl 5th ave.

Big Al’s 115 S 3rd st.

The Cavalier Chances 114 5th ave. R 417 Jay st.

CheapShots 318 318 Pearl Pearl st. st.

Chuck’s

1101 1101 La La Crosse Crosse st. st.

Coconut Joe’s 223 Pearl st.

Sunday

Monday

ALLfor NEW! 3 games $5 starts at 8 p.m. text

3 games for $5 starts Arenaat 8 p.m.

bucket special $2.00 Domestic Silos $2.50 Jack Daniel Mixers $2.00 Goldschlager

Beer Pong $7.00 w/dog 4Italian Cansbeef 8-close meal: $6.69 Pizza Puff meal: $4.49 2 for 1 cans &

bottles during 2 for 1 bottles and cans Packer games during the game 2.25 for mini pitcher

closed free pitcher of beer or soda with large pizza 12 - 7:

2-4-1 rails $2.50 beers

Buck Night starts at 6 p.m. to 83361

Bud Night 6 - CL: bottles $1$1.75 Domestic Taps $2$5 Craft Import Taps pitchers $2.50 Vodka Mixers $1 Shot Menu $7 22oz tbone 16oz top sirloin 9.75 sutffed sirloin 8 jack daniels tips 8 $1 shots of meatball sandwich Doctor, cherry doctor - 8-cl meal: $6.69 Happy hour 4-6 $1.75 cans, $2 mix drinks 2 Chicago dogs meal:

$5.891/4 barrel

giveaway Buck Burgers 8-11 $1 burgers 1/4 Barrel giveaway during Monday night meatballfootball sandwich

$2.50 Select imports/craft Beers $2.50 Top shelf Mixers $2 Mich Golden bottles

3 games for $5 starts at 7 p.m. for specials

Import Ladies drink night free Rails and Domestic starts at 7Light p.m.Tap Beer 9-11pm on the Dance Floor

Happy Hour64-p.m.

CL- 9 p.m. M-F $2 $2.50 DomesticSparks Silos $2.50 Premium Silos $2.50 Three Olive Mixers $2. Goldschlager

$1 softshell tacos $1 shots of meal: doctor, Italian beef cherry $6.69 doctor Chicago chili dog: $3.89 Bucket Night 6 beers

for $9meal: Italian beef $6.15 Chicago chili dog: $3.45 Thirsty

(rocks only)

77 -- CL CL Tequila’s Tequila’s chips chips & & salsa, salsa, $2 $2 Coronas, Coronas, $2.50 $2.50 Mike’s, Mike’s, Mike-arita Mike-arita

$3.00 Domestic Pitchers, $2.00 Shots of Cuervo, $3 Pitchers 1.75 Rails Rumpleminz, Goldschlager

Mexican Monday Guys'$2.00 Nite Corona, out 1.50 silos Corona Light, Cuervo

AUCD Taps and Rails

25 cent hot wings $1 shots of Dr. 25 cent wings Dollar

domestic pitchers barrel parties at cost $4.50 domestic pitchers Pitcher and Pizza $10

77 -- midnight midnight Ladies: Ladies: 22 for for 11 Guys: $1.50 Guys: $1.50 Coors Coors and and Kul Kul Light Light bottles bottles $.50 domestic taps, $1 microbrews, $3 domestic $.50 taps Domestic 3.00 pitchers, pitchers $6 microbrew pitchers

$2 $2Tuesdays, Tuesdays, including including $2 $2 bottles, bottles, import import taps, taps, beer beer pong, pong, apps, apps, single single shot shot mixers, mixers, featured featured shots, shots, and and 50 50 cent cent taps taps

WING WING NIGHT-$1.25/LB NIGHT-$1.25/LB BUFFALO, BUFFALO,SMOKEY SMOKEY BBQ, BBQ,PLAIN PLAIN $1.00 $1.00 PABST PABSTAND AND PABST PABST LIGHT LIGHT BOTTLES$1.50 BOTTLES$1.50 ROLLING ROLLING ROCK ROCK BOTTLES BOTTLES $2.25 $2.25 BUD BUD LIGHTS LIGHTS $1.00 $1.00 SHOT SHOT OF OFTHE THEWEEK WEEK

Wristband Night Wristband Night $5$5COLLEGE I.D. COLLEGE I.D. $9$9general public general public Karaoke Karaoke $1 shot $1 shot specials specials

7-CL:night football domestic beer: $1.50 $1.50 domestic Mexican beer:rails $2.00 pints, $1.50

7-CL: chicken $1.50 domestic primavera pints, $1.50 rails

7-CL: shrimp $1.50 domestic pints, burrito $2 craft pints, $1.50 rails

FiestaHollow Mexicana Fox 5200 Mormon Coulee

chicken & veggie fajitasown Build your for Mary two Bloody 16oz Mug - $4.00

football night domestic beer:Pizza $1.50 Homemade Mexican beer: $2.00 & PItcher of Beer

Build your own Bloody Mary 16oz Mug - $4.00

Homemade Pizza & PItcher of Beer $9.00 $5.99 $5.99 gyro gyro fries fries & & soda soda

Gracie’s Gracie’s 1908 Campbell rd.

1908 Campbell rd.

Huck Finn’s Howie's

127 dr. st.

1128Marina La Crosse

9-clNBC Mary night. (Night Bloody Before Class) $3 pitchspecials ers of the beast - 2 4-9 p.m.

Happy10 Hour

Football Sunday $1.75 domestic JB’s Speakeasy 11-7 happy hour, free The Helm 717 Rose st. food,bottles $1.50 bloody, 1/2

108 3rd st

price pitchers DTB

Arterial

$1.50 U call domestics and rails

1003 16th st 16

10 - 50 CL: (increases cents per hour) $1.50 rails $1 rails

$9.00

9-cl$3.50 Domestic pitchers $1.75 domestic bottles

live live DJ DJ $1 shot $1 shot specials specials

7-CL: chili $1.50 domestic pints, verde $2 craft pints, $1.50 rails

Ask 2server 3-9: for 1 for details domestic bottles and rail drinks

most

buy one get one Domestic $2.00 Malibu, $2.50 Jaeger, beerJaeger ('til 6 Bombs p.m.) $3.00 Holmen Meat Locker Jerky Raffle

Bucket of Domestic Cans 5 for $9.00

25 CentHOUR Wings HAPPY

Buy Buy one one gyro gyro get get one one half half price price

free free baklava, baklava, ice ice cream cream or or sundae sundae with with meal meal

$1.25 $1.25 domestic domestic taps taps buy buy one one burger burger get get one one half half price price

$8.95 16 oz. steak $8.95 1/2 lb. fish platter

5 p.m. - 10 p.m.

$1.75 bottles/cans

OPEN-CL $2 U "Call" it

HAPPY HOUR 3 - 8

free wings 6 p.m. - 9 p.m.

EVERYDAY 3 -7 9-cl and$1.25 9 - 11 rails,

Karaoke Karaoke

Ask server for details

HAPPY HOUR EVERYDAY 3 - 6

GREEK GREEK ALL ALL DAY DAY buy buy one one appetizer appetizer appetizer half price appetizer half price get get one one half half price price with meal with meal 9-cl -$2 captain mixers, $2 bottles/cans, $3 jager bombs

9-cl $2 bacardi mixers, $2 domestic pints, $1.50 shots blackberry brandy

HAPPY HOUR2-CL 5-7 Thirsty Thursday

All day (everyday!) $1.75 domesticspecials $1.25 Old Style Light bottles

3 12 oz. dom. taps $2 $1 vodka drinks $1 12 oz taps

$1.50 LAX Lager/Light $1 shots of Dr.

$2 Domestic Bottles and Cans

12 - 7 cents off items

$2.50 JUMBO CAPTAIN AND FLAVORED FLAVORED BACARDI MIXERS BACARDI MIXERS $3.00 JAGER BOMBS $3.00 JAGER BOMBS

HAPPY HOUR 6 AM - 9 AM

$5 AUCD

50

Happy Hour 7 - 9. $2 for$2.50 all single shot mixers and all beers.

JUMBO CAPTAIN AND

$1.25 beer pong 6 p.m. $8.95 16 oz steak BURGERS

happy hour 1 -6 M - F $1 Most Pints, $2 Absolut Mixers

After ClassMixers $3 $2.00 Captain Pitchers $1.75 Rails

HAPPY HOURshrimp EVERYDAY 3 - 6 chili chicken burrito verde primavera $1.25 Bucket of Domestic 25 Cent Wings BURGERS Cans 5 for $9.00

HAPPY HOUR 9-cl- $1 rails, $2.50 pitchers, Beer Pong

Italian beef meal: $6.15 2 Chicago dog meal: $3.00 Bacardi mixers/ $3.45 mojitos Great drinks! $2 Cherry Bombs $1.50 $1 Bazooka Joes bloody marys 11Happy a.m. Hour - 4 p.m

Happy Hour 12 - 7

$2.00 Cruzan Rum Mixers, $2.50 Ladies'Jameson Nite outShots, 1.50 $3.00 Raill Mixers mixers/ $2.50 X bombs

$3.00 Patron Shots $2 Pearl Street Brewery beers

chicken & veggie OPEN-CL fajitas $2 U "Call" it for two

N3287 County rd.

OA 1904 Campbell

$6.75 shrimp dinner 50 cent taps 4 - 7

77 -- midnight midnight $2 $2 Malibu Malibu madness madness $2 $2 pineapple pineapple upsidedown upsidedown cake cake

77 -- midnight midnight $1 $1 rail rail mixers mixers $2 $2 Bacardi Bacardi mixers mixers

Fiesta Eagle'sMexicana Nest

Fox Hollow Goal Post

$2 Cherry Bombs $1 Bazooka Joes

beers & rails

Ladies Ladies Night Night buy buy one, one, get get one one free free wear wear aa bikini, bikini, drink drink free free

N3287 County OA

pepper & egg sandwich meal: $4.50, fish sandwich meal: $4.99, ItalianCaptain sausage meal: $3.00 mixers/ mojitos $6.15 Great drinks!

All day, everyday: $1.00 Shots of Doctor, $2.00 Cherry Bombs, $1.75 Silos of Busch Light/Coors All day Everyday: $1 Doctor $2 Silos. M-F: Happy Hour 2-6 $.50 off everything but the daily special

closed closed

$2.50 X-Rated Mixers $2 Captain Mixers $2 Premium Grain Belt $2 Snake Bites

batterfried cod, fries, Italian beef meal: pepper & egg sandwich beans, and garlic bread $6.69 meal: $5.50$5.00 2 Chicago dog meal: Italian sausage meal: $6.69 $4.50$5.89

Topless Topless Tuesday Tuesday

5200 1914 Mormon CampbellCoulee rd.

$2.50happy Bomb Shots hour $2.50 Ketel One Mixers $2 Retro Beers "Your Dad's Beer"

Cosmic $1 cherryBowl bombs starts at 9 p.m. until midnight

AUCE wings $5.00 free crazy bingo hamburger or cheeseburger buy one cherry meal: bomb $3.89 get one for $1 Italian Beef w/dog meal: 3 p.m.$7.89 - midnight

$1 $1 Kul Kul Light Light cans cans

411 3rd st.

3-7

$2 Silos

Saturday

$5 bbq ribs and grilled chicken sandfries wich meal: $5.29 Polish sausage meal: $4.49

$4 $4 full full pint pint Irish Irish Car Car Bomb Bomb

Dan’s Place

Cosmic & $1 cherryBowl bombs Karaoke starts at until 9 p.m. midnight

Stop in for Value Menu too big to list here

$6.00 AUCD

bucket night 6 for $9

Friday

shots of Doctor hamburger meal: 8-1 $6 sandgrilled chicken $3.69 wich meal: $5.29 meal: $6.15 HAPPY HOUR 3 PM - 8 cheeseburger PM meal: Polish sausage meal: 2 dogs meal: $ 5.25 10 cent wings (9 - CL) $3.89 $3.99 Martini$2.50 Ladies' Night Wristband $1 High Life 6- 8bottles All Mojitos $5 Blatz vs. Old Styletriple James Martini: vodka, $1.50burgers, rail mixers$2.60 soup orNight salad bar $1.25Tuesday make your own $2.25 meatsec, orpitchers marinara orange juice $1.50 taps $2 Guinness pints FREE with entree or tacos, $4.75 taco salad cheeseburgers, $2 off spaghetti: $3.45 $2 HAPPY large pizza, $1 fries4 - 7 sandwich until 3 p.m.

HOUR 7- CL: $4.95 $2.25 margaritas, Italian sausage: 3- CL: 7- CL: 7- CL: ($3.95 by itself) largeclosed taco pizza with $1 anyDr. pizza Martini Madness shots Margarita Monday off 2 for 1 2 Beers, Ladies' Night Guys' Night 61-topping 8 p.m. pizza $2 off $2.50 all martinis $3 Jager Bombs taps $11 $1.25 beers & rails $1.25 $1.50 rails/domestics

77 -- CL CL $1 $1 domestic domestic 12 12 oz oz $2 $2 Stoli Stoli mixers mixers

$1 dom. taps, Dr. shots, $2 rails, imports, Bud, $3closed calls mixers, all apps, $4 top shelf

Tuesday Wednesday Thursday

$2 U Call it imports $3 Crown Mixers

$5 All Pitchers

$2 Corona/Corona Light, $4 Patron

$2 Stoli Mixers, $1 DR Shots

Second Supper vol. 9, issue 156

Area food food & & drink drink specials specials ] COMMUNITY SERVICE [Area LA CROSSE JB’s Speakeasy 717 Rose st.

The Joint 324 Jay st.

Legend’s

Sunday

Monday

Tuesday Wednesday

$1.75 domestic bottles

$1.75 domestic bottles

$1.75 domestic bottles

1/2 off Pearl Street pitchers during Packer game

4 - 8 p.m.

Bacardi $3 doubles/pints

closed

223 Pearl st.

closed

Nutbush

Thursday

Saturday

HAPPY HOUR 5 - 7 $1.00 off all Irish shots $2.50 pints of Guinness $3.00 imperial pints

every day $1 shots of Doc

4 - 8 p.m. domestic bottles/rails $1.75

closed

Friday

4 - 8 p.m. domestic bottles/rails $1.75

WING NIGHT $2 SVEDKA MIXERS $2.50 JACK MIXERS $2.25 BUD LIGHTS $2 SHOTS OF ALL DOCTOR FLAVORS

AFTER COMEDY: PINT NIGHT $1 PINTS OF RAILS MIXERS AND DOMESTIC TAPS $2 PINTS OF CALL MIXERS AND IMPORT TAPS $3 PINTS OF TOP SHELF MIXERS

5 - 7 p.m.

2-4-1 happy hour

great drinks!

$2 SHOTS OF GOLDSCHLAGER $5 DOUBLE VODKA ENERGY DRINK

HAPPY HOUR 3 - 6

3264 George st.

Players

Price by Dice

214 Main St

Ralph's

In John's Bar 109 3rd st. N

Ringside 223 Pearl st.

Schmidty’s

Chef specials daily Mighty Meatball sub $6

CLOSED

3119 State rd.

breakfast buffet $9.95 10 a.m. - 2 p.m.

Shooter’s

$1 Shot Night

120 S 3rd st.

Sports Nut 801 Rose st.

Tailgators 1019 S 10th st.

Train Station BBQ 601 St. Andrew st.

Top Shots 137 S 4th st.

Yesterdays 317 Pearl st.

LA CRESCENT

Crescent Inn 444 Chestnut st.

WINONA Godfather’s 30 Walnut st.

March 26 2009

2 for 1 Happy Hour ALL NIGHT LONG

happy hour all day

CLOSED

Karaoke @ 10 p.m.

2-4-1 Happy Hour 5 - 10 AUCD Rail mixers @ 10 p.m.

Karaoke @ 10 p.m.

2-4-1 Happy Hour 5 - 10 $1 Pabst cans, Dr. shots @ 10 p.m.

chicken parmesan sub $6

Italian sandwich w/banana peppers and parmesan &6

open 4-9

double $6.50

Southwest chicken pita $5

HAPPY HOUR 4 PM - 7 PM cheeseburger HOOP DAY!! MAKE YOUR SHOT AND YOUR ENTRÉE IS FREE!

2-4-1 Happy Hour 3 - 9 Best Damned DJ'S @ 10 p.m.

2-4-1 Happy Hour 3 - 8 Best Damned DJ'S @ 10 p.m.

Chicken salad on rye w/ lettuce, tomato, onion $5 $6.99 FISH SANDWICH FOR LUNCH, $7.99 FISH SANDWICH FOR DINNER, $9.99 ALL YOU CAN EAT FISH FRY ALL DAY

happy hour all day long! $1.00 OFF WILD WINGS, $1.00 PHILLY STEAK AND CHEESE.

LUNCH BUFFET $6.45 LUNCH SPECIALS CHANGE DAILY Ask Nicely See What Happens

Tie Tuesday Great Prices For Sharp Dressers

Buck Burgers

Tacos $1.25

$4 domestic pitchers

ask for great eats

$1 Rails, $1.50 Pint Taps, $3 Long Island Pints 15 cent wings

12 oz. T-Bone $8.99

$2 Bacardi mixers

$2 Spotted Cow & DT Brown pints

Bucket Night 5 for $9

11-3: Extra side with sandwich 4-9: $1 off rib dinner

11-3: Ruben $6.95 4-9: Wings $4.99

11-3: Barn burner $7.95 4-9: Hobo dinner (serves 2) $25.95

$1.50 Bud/Miller Lite/ PBR taps all day $1.75 rails 10 - 1

$2 domestic bottles 7 - 12, $2.50 Skyy/ Absolute mixers 10-1 $2 Dr. drinks

$1 Point special bottles

$2.50 pints Bass & Guinness

$1.75 domestic bottles

$2.25 Pearl st. pints $1.50 PBR bottles

Sunday

Monday

Tuesday Wednesday

$2 Rolling Rocks $2 domestic beer

8 - CL $1.50 rails $1.75 Bud cans

$1 shots of Dr. $2.50 Polish

Sunday

Monday

Tuesday Wednesday

family buffet 5 -8 kids under 10 pay .45 cents per year of age

$2.50 Bacardi Mixers, $3 Long Island Pints

HAPPY HOUR 10 AM - 12, 4 PM - 6 PM

$1.75 light taps and Dr. shots

Fiesta Night 7 - 12 $2 tequila shots $2.50 margaritas

2-4-1 Happy Hour 5 - 10 $2 Capt. mixers $1.75 domestic beer, $1.50 Rails, $1 Pabst cans @ 10 p.m.

$1 domestic taps $3 Jager Bombs

5 domestic bottles for $10, $2 Bacardi mixers, $1.50 rail vodka mixers 10 -1

Fish Fry $6.95

$1 Dr. shots $3 16 oz Captain mixers 11-3 Crispy chicken salad 4-9: Bones & briskets $13.95

$2 Long Islands, PBR bottles, Captain mixers

$2.50 Bacardi Mixers, $3 Long Island Pints 15 cent wings

$1 Dr. shots $3 16 oz Captain mixers 1/2 Chicken 3 bones

$2.75 deluxe Bloodys ‘til 7, $5 lite pitchers 7 - 12

$1.75 rails $1 PBR mugs

Thursday

Friday

$2.50 Captain $2.50 Jager Bombs & Polish

$2 u-call-it (except top shelf)

Thursday

Saturday

Friday

Saturday

any jumbo, large, or large 1 topping pizza medium pizza up to 5 $9.99 toppings: $11.99 (get 2nd large for $5)

17

Ã

Entertainment Directory 3/26 - 4/1

Thursday, March 26

The Root Note Tom Mirn

7:00

Nighthawk's Proto Melei

8:00

10:00

River Jack's Cathy and the Cabana Boy

8:00

10:00

The Pump House Praiirie Smoke

7:30 8:00

10:00

The Root Note Open Mic Night

7:00

Popcorn Tavern Abbey Lane Nighthawks Dave Orr's open jam

Just A Roadie Away...

March 28, continued

Del’s Bar New Grass Review

Starlite Lounge Kies & Kompanie

5:00

Howie's Karaoke

The Freight House Adam Palm

8:00

JB's Three Legged Marley

9:00

The Joint Upon Extinction, Razor Fist and Thundersnake

Northside Oasis Pulse 8

8:00

Popcorn Tavern LAX All-Stars

10:00

Freight House Adam Palm

8:00

JB's This Machine with This Could Be the Day and Paragraphs 10:00 Nighthawk's Manfort Howie's Steve Mazan (comedy)

10:00 8:30

Popcorn Tavern Som'n Jazz

9:00

10:00

Popcorn Tavern Shawn's Open Jam w/ Up and Coming

Pezzetino

Ed's Bar

Tour Funk

Ed's Bar

Fri. 3/27

Acoustic Cafe

Fri. 3/27

The Draught Haus

Fri. 3/27

Ward Anderson

Steve and Chell

Acoustic Cafe

Thurs., 3/26

Sat., 3/28

Orangutan

Ed's Bar

Sat., 3/28

Charlie Parr

Ed's Bar

Sun., 3/29

Houghton’s Hootenanny w/ Mike Caucutt 10:00 Del’s Open jam with Chubba The Root Note In The Now Tour

10:00 7:00

Tuesday, March 31

The Joint Fat Maw Rooney

Popcorn Tavern Paulie

10:00

10:00

The Joint Brownie's Open Jam

10:00

8:00 Wednesday, April 1

Saturday, March 28

JB's Dred I Dread w/ Littlefield

27,069

10:00

10:00

Popcorn Tavern Shoeless Revolution

Monday, March 30

The Bodega Cheech, Howard “Guitar” Luedtke and Deb

Neuie's North Star Cody

Winona population

T.U.G.G.

Sunday, March 29 Friday, March 27

Ã

10:00 10:00

Starlite Lounge Latin Vibe

8:00

The Timbers Earthbound

8:00

Nighthawk's Howard Luedtke and Blue Max Open Jam

9:00

Popcorn Tavern Brownie's Open Jam

10:00

Got a show?

Let us know!

We'll put it in, yo. editor@secondsupper.com

18

Second Supper vol. 9, issue 156

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Downtown La crosse, above fayzes - 782-6622

top shots joke of the week What's the difference between a girlfriend and a wife?

About 45 pounds

What's the difference between a boyfriend and a husband?

About 45 minutes

Good People, Good Drinks, Good Times $2.00 - 1 Player, $3.00 - 2 Players 50 Cents Off Drinks, $1 Off Pitchers

$1.75 - Light Taps $1.75 DR. Shots

Saturday March 26 2009

$1.50 Bud/Miller Lite $2.00 Domestics 7-12pm & PBR Taps $2.50

$1.75

Skyy/Abs. Mixers 10-1AM

$2.00 Dr. Drinks

$2.75 Deluxe Bloody Marys ‘til 7:00 PM $5.00 Light Pitchers 7:00PM - Midnight 19

La Crosseâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Largest Sports Bar e r e H s I s s e n d March Ma

3.26 Dwight York/Patrick Bauer

Free Hoop Thursdays: Make Your Shot and Your Meals On Us

223 Pearl St - Downtown La Crosse/782-9192

$2 Tuesdays!

W/ $.50 Taps $2 Appetizer Menu

Wing NIght Wednesdays

Wing Of The Month Asian Persuasion $1 PBR/PBR Light

Post-SPRING PREP WEEKEND WITH BODY & SOL! March 27/28

Keep Your Spring Break Tan Free Tanning Lotions Free VIP Bottle Service Other prizes

Fridays and Saturdays

Bottle Service Now Available

20

CHECK OUT ALL OUR SPECIALS IN COMMUNITY SERVICE

Second Supper vol. 9, issue 156