Issue 163 by Second Supper

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Supper vol. 9, issue 163

Letter from the Editor Although La Crosse has a sizeable, visible, and dedicated pro-bicycling community, I’m not sure that I’d call this place bike-friendly. In fact, from my own two-wheeled experiences, I think it’s closer to bike-antagonistic. I began last summer, my first with a red Schwinn road cruiser, with high hopes for transportation. My bike has one of those fat seats, the retro springy ones that actually comfort your ass while pedaling — side note: why did we let bike companies stop making those? — and cruising the streets on a sunny day feels like a dream. Trying to get anywhere on a major traffic artery, though, that’s a nightmare. Although in the past I’ve occasionally used this space to tout some less than lawful pastimes, when it comes to bicycle riding, I’m a legal eagle. I stay in the far right lane, employ hand signals, use a bike light … my mom would be proud. Yet when I find myself legally oriented in traffic — sidewalk to the right, cars to the left — I’d constantly hear a stream of obscenities shouted at me out open windows. It could have been petty jealousy, but I’m pretty sure everyone was mad vbecause I was riding in the road. No worries; I’ve been cursed out on finer streets that South Avenue. I just find it funny that drivers want me off the road and onto the sidewalk — but I hold out hope that somebody actually walks on those things, and I wouldn’t want to risk hitting him. I’ve lived in bicycle-friendly towns before, and while I don’t expect La Crosse to be like Madison or Madrid, I’d hope it could at least accommodate some engine-free transportation. Bike lanes, they’re great. They take the question marks out of street travel, and I feel safe even with cars zipping by only feet away. That La Crosse’s established traffic corridors lack bike lanes is a matter of convention.That planners decided to scrimp while redesigning West Avenue, that’s a travesty. It would also be nice to have a few more bike racks in town. In my neighborhood, “Historic Downtown La Crosse,” I can think of exactly zero bike racks, while there are three parking ramps within four blocks (this despite bicycles taking historic president). I wonder if there’s some kind of official policy for this — keep bikes out of the way so shoppers can enjoy the cobblestones or something — but it doesn’t make for a very appealing commercial experience. The bicyclists that do make it downtown just chain their rides to antique light posts — otherwise, as several of my friends can attest, they get stolen. And that’s not the bike culture we want taking off in this town.

— Adam Bissen

Serving La Crosse, Onalska, Holmen, Barre Mills, Stoddard WI La Crescent, Hokah, Winona MN

TABLE OF CONTENTS THIS PAGE ..................................... 3 ALEXANDRA JOHNSON ................ 4 MAY 17TH! ..................................... 5 MOMMY APPRECIATION ................ 6 THE GORGON ................................ 7 EXERCISE ADDICTION .................. 8 HUMAN POWERED TRAILS ........... 9 ADVERTISEMENT .........................10 TREU'S TREK ................................11 BLAXPLOITATION ........................ 12 GETTIN' SHUGGY .........................13 BITTER WOMAN ........................... 14 SCONNY .......................................15 COMMUNITY SERVICE ...........16-17 ROCK OUT! .................................. 18

We Make Campers Happy spring makes me want to 'yak!

Second Supper Newspaper, LLC 614 Main St. La Crosse, WI 54601 Phone: 608.782.7001 Email: editor@secondsupper.com Advertising: advertising@secondsupper.com Online: www.secondsupper.com Publisher Mike Keith mike.keith@secondsupper.com

Editorial Editor: Adam Bissen adam.bissen@secondsupper.com Student Editor: Ben Clark benjamin.clark@secondsupper.com Graphic Design: Matt Schmidt matt.schmidt@secondsupper.com Columnists: Amber Miller amber.miller@secondsupper.com Brett Emerson brett.emerson@secondsupper.com Shuggypop shuggypop.jackson@secondsupper.com Contributors: Jacob Bielanski, Erich Boldt, Nicholas Cabreza, Andrew Colston, Ashly Conrad, Emily Faeth, Brandon Fahey, El Jefe, Emma Mayview, Briana Rupel, Noah Singer, Bob Treu, Nate Willer

Marketing/Sales

Rivers 3 Three RO Outdoors

Blake Auler-Murphy blake.auler-murphy.@secondsupper.com 608.797.6370 Tim Althaus tim.althaus@secondsupper.com 608.385.9681 Second Supper is a community weekly published 48 times per year on Thursdays. All content is property of Second Supper Newspaper, LLC and may not be reprinted or re-transmitted in whole or in part without the expressed written consent of Second Supper Newspaper, LLC.

Printed with soy-based ink on partially recycled paper

May 14, 2009

400 Main St. - Downtown La Crosse

793 -1470

Social Networking

the top

Second Supperâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s finally on the social networking bandwagon, with a whole chain of townies to answer our deliciously revealing questions. Each week, the interviewee will name someone they're connected to, who will become the next person interviewed, and so it shall continue. You see? We really are all connected.

Hillarious alternatives to the nutcup 1. 2. 3. 4. 5. 6. 7.

Bicycle tricks (that we can actually do)

NAME AND AGE: Alexandra Johnson, 22

TELL US A JOKE Rich's life

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TELL US YOUR GUILTIEST PLEASURE: Hamburgers

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CELEBRITY CRUSH: Penelope Cruz

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1. 2. 3. 4. 5. 6. 7.

Best places to walk barefoot 1. 2. 3. 4. 5.

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Second Supper vol. 9, issue 163

Do This Second Supper Classifieds

WHAT: Syttende Mai! WHERE: Westby, WI WHEN: May 15-16

5 bdrm. apts., 1414 Pine St. next to UW-La Crosse, Off street parking, onsite laundry, dishwasher, low utilities, Available 6-1-09 or 8-1-09 call 608-782RENT (7368) 3 Bedroom Apartment Close to campus available June 1st $750 call 3858523 2 bdrm, apts., 720 Oakland St. next to UW-La Crosse, Off street parking, onsite laundry, uppers with deck & ac $650/month, Lowers $620/month available 6-1-09 call 608-782-RENT (7368) Bed: Queen Pillowtop Mattress Set New in plastic $165 Full Sized $135 King Sized $265, Can Deliver 608-3994494 National marketing company seeks full time sales leaders who can sell ice to an Eskimo. Call Lexie at 608782-8586. 3 Bedroom Apartment on La Crosse Street available for the school year starting June 1st call 385-8523.

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Ever feel like you just can't get enough Norwegian culture? Well, come on down to Westby's annual celebration of Syttende Mai, which means May 17th in Norwegian and marks the date in which Norway's constitution was signed in 1814. Events include a walk/ bike tour into the scenic bluffs surrounding Westby (registration begins at 7:30 a.m..) At 2 p.m., there will be a draft horse show and a rommegrat eating contest in the entertainment tent. Sunday will have the annual Syttende Mai parade, which will begin at 1:30 p.m.. with more than 100 entries for displays! So come on down, and get your Scandinavian on! — Ben Clark

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Porcupine With The Jim Pullman Band

By Amber Miller

amber.miller@secondsupper.com So last Sunday was Mother’s Day; it’s a cool experience to have a whole day dedicated to being appreciated, and it’s marked on calendars and everything! I have a feeling that lots of mommies out there are underappreciated most other days of the year, so it’s pretty liberating and deserved, to be on a pedestal for a day. My little one is too little to under-appreciate me yet, but I’m working hard to make sure that he encompasses into his very being an understanding that Mommy is the queen of his universe…you know, pretty typical, right? (He already thinks I’m the president — he frequently points to Obama pictures and says “Mama,” so that counts, yeah?) He’s a fantastic kid and all, but it’s still an incredible amount of work to keep him happy and safe — I definitely feel worthy of a little “praise Mommy day.” The goal, of course, is to never feel taken for granted, as so many mommies probably are. Now, I don’t intend to place the blame on women, but I do think that part of the widespread under-appreciation problem might be that some women undervalue themselves. This should be no surprise, really, when we consider how our culture shapes the female experience and how this cultural demon is pervasive enough to be a cornerstone of typical feminine psychology, but one that somehow escapes being noticed by the collective female consciousness. Aside from love and joy, perhaps the third most-felt emotion of motherhood is guilt. There is an enormous amount of pressure to be the perfect mother, and making choices feels a bit like being drawn and quartered. Here’s an example of a typical mom-thought scenario: I shouldn’t work because I should stay home with my kids and I definitely have to breastfeed and God knows how hard it is to pump, especially in a workplace where I’m not even guaranteed time or privacy, but I should work because I should maintain a life outside the family (and oh yeah, I need income), but then again, I shouldn’t because daycare is so expensive and bad for kids, but I should because daycare is actually so great for kids, but oh they might get sick around all those other children, but no, it’s good for their immune systems, and besides they need to learn social skills, especially if it’s an only child — oh no! No one should have an only child; he’ll be lonely and weird and won’t know how to share, so I should definitely have another one right away and send them both to daycare so they learn to need each other, but then I’d be a bad mom because I should be at home making macaroni necklaces and bologna sandwiches but Jesus, you can’t feed a kid bologna these days — you know what they say about preservatives and cancer — but you can’t protect them from everything and what’s a childhood without bologna sandwiches? but really I ought to be growing my own organic vegetables so the kids — I’ve got a few now,

just to be sure to lock in those social skills — can be little vegans and go to animal-rights marches, but I guess don’t want them to be too radical because then none of the other kids will want to play with the bizarre activist kids, so I really ought to home-school them, but then they’d never learn to be independent and I’d never accomplish anything outside of the family…you see how exhausting it can be? And that’s just thinking…the guilt seems to come so naturally and makes it that much easier to undervalue yourself. But it’s not just women having low self-esteem: the real under-appreciation comes from the other parent (if there is one) and probably the kids too. Plenty of people don’t seem to understand that childcare (which usually means house-care, too) is real, hard work. For some reason, this is difficult to imagine for some people: I recently told someone how happy I will be to graduate with a degree in the near future (I’m a single, working student and mom), and this person had the denseness and/or audacity to reply, “Great! Then you can get a real job!” What a jaw-dropper! If people who stay at home with their kids and take care of household business actually got paid for what they do, they would be filthy, stinking rich. And likewise, if people were appreciated for taking care of children and a house as well as working, they would be deserving of it. So they at least deserve one bloody day of the year to be exalted! Some of you might be extremely offended right now, because how dare I write this from a totally gender-stereotyped point of view, assuming that the mother is still the sole parent. Things are wildly different than they used to be…or are they? Most women I’ve talked to say the same, sad thing: even those that aren’t single parents feel like and function as single parents. Sure there are plenty of great dads, and single ones too, but by and large it’s still Mommy taking the kids to the doctor, and if someone is going to stay home with the kids, it’s likely Mommy. This is another way that the cultural demon attacks — it’s still largely unacceptable to take paternity leave; most businesses don’t even offer it, and if they do, a man is highly likely to be making more money than a woman (“equality,” anyone?), so if a couple is strapped for cash and one of them needs to stay home with Baby, it’s probably going to be Mom. So I’m not stereotyping; I am realizing and believe me, I’m just as offended as you are. But anyway, the moral of the story is to appreciate the people in your life who take care of you, and to value yourself for the taking care of people that you might be doing. I wish you all the best of luck at teaching your children how fantastic you are (assuming that you are fantastic).

Second Supper vol. 9, issue 163

Y Marks the Spot The Gorgon

NOW OPEN! The Outdoor

Beer Garden

By Brett Emerson

brett.emerson@secondsupper.com

May 14, 2009

of electronic golfing. Then again, once my hair grew past my shoulders and, later, developed unnatural coloring, grandpa and I parted ways, citing ideological differences. This heralded the next phase of phobia, the fight to leave the kids’ table. Within family, this meant that I didn’t want to be lumped in a generational demographic that included cousins a decade younger, that I didn’t want to be treated like a rung on a hierarchical genealogy. Outside was a more political stripe of conflict: the old people had failed, their beliefs were outdated and deserved to be swept away under the tide of new, new, new! (New being heavily dictated by advertising, mind you.) It would be simplistic to claim the struggle as liberal vs. conservative; but most kids, as I’ve learned through my amazing public school adventures, are savagely conservative, wanting little more than to do their time and get out, like any good inmate. The contradiction that I loathed my young peers while championing youth as a whole isn’t lost on me, though it does bring some comfort that I’ve always hated teenagers and am not just screaming at new teen phenomena like Hannah Montana and the Twilight catastrophe (which has spawned such abominations as a T-shirt that reads: “Your scent is like a drug to me.”) to get off my lawn. In the last few years, a new mutation of the prejudice has slithered in, more rational and terrifying than the old abstractions. Like the threat posed by the living dead, this strain of elderphobia bears the paranoia of corruption, of compromise, we have seen the enemy and it is us, a time bomb in the genes. But I’m not worried about pulling a philosophical 180, betraying all the conscience that youth and experience have given me the luxury of attaining. No, what terrifies me most is the physical aspect of getting old. Technical difficulties. Mechanical failure. And here’s the real face of the Gorgon. I’m afraid that one day I won’t be able to walk. A balm: a day of retail work, of all things, floating through the aisles, dodging the mental midgets who dominated and monopolized our time. A day without the social boundaries that keep me safe from the social terrorists, parasites. I returned, resigned, from the break room to the floor, walking down the philosophy aisle. Ahead, an old cat lounged in a wheelchair, one leg cocked over the other, a high sock exposed. He thumbed through a book, calm as clouds. I saw him later, hobbling from the bathrooms to the wheelchair parked outside. Later, we walked through the doors together. He followed his wife outside, pushing his walker onto the bricks and gray skies, as animated and excited as a kid. If I’m going to go out, I want to do it like that guy.

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Thursday, Thursday,

and

Save for the lines of suspended disbelief which tumble from the mouths of Bizarro films, I don’t have much use for quotes. For being as immersed in words as my life is, these hard translations of thought have a tendency to roll off my feathers, to sift like clouds through my plummeting brain, leaving ideas and impressions but rarely having the courtesy to leave the evidence itself. Still, there have been rare times when a series of words, wholly unrelated to the Valhalla of Patrick Swayze’s film career, will stick in my craw. One such moment took place last year, coming through the dark alleyways outside my cubicle apartment, spiting my best efforts to convince myself that the outside didn’t exist. The room’s shades were closed in obedience to a big phobia I have concerning open windows at night. Unless I’m living above the ground floor, and the potential of man or monster staring in can be averted, the windows stay shut, and I don’t look out. The worst horror I can imagine, worse than any hockey masked machete attack, is in being watched. Sitting in my bed that night, I tried to distract myself from the terror by reading, of all things, Salem’s Lot by Stephen King.And despite my attempt at escape through entertainment, the entertainment itself barred prone flight. In the story, the town was disappearing, its population turning into vampires and devouring itself, transmitting the curse. As people fell and rose beneath its waves, the still living ducked and covered, hid in their houses, and never, never looked out their windows. The line is this: “No matter what noises or dreadful possibilities, no matter how awful the unknown, there was an even worse thing: to look the Gorgon in the face.” I shut the book, and slept with the lights on. My easy Gorgon is other people, programmed by the lowest common denominator, screaming (typing) in tongues because they believe that silence is nonexistence. But here’s a specific. All my life, I’ve been terrified of old people.The reasoning and forms behind this phobia have changed over time, but the overreaching thesis has remained constant. As a kid, my prejudice was more elemental. Those wrinkly people who sipped ice tea on the living room couch and talked in nonelectronic rigmaroles were alien, potentially monstrous. It didn’t help that family protocol dictated my mother parade me around in front of these people, especially the foreign great aunts and uncles who I’d likely see a handful of times in life. It didn’t help that my dad’s old man was a caustic mothball, or that his mom sounded like Beavis and scared the shit out of me. It did, however, help that my mom’s parents were whip smart, and that my grandfather bought a Nintendo in the early '90s for the sole purpose

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By Ben Clark benjamin.clark@secondsupper.com Now that we have warm temperatures and sunlight greeting us in our little home in the bluffs, the exercise bug has bitten people of all ages and walks of life. Whether it be just a gentle stroll through Myric Park, a hike to the top of any of our many bluffs, or playing some extreme ultimate Frisbee at Riverside, exercise gives us all benefits that we enjoy in both the short and long term. Join me kiddies, as we look at all of the physical benefits as well as some of the myths regarding America’s favorite (or not) pastime! Continuous and daily exercise results in maintaining a healthy weight and bone density, as well as muscle strength and joint flexibility. The more you exercise, the more your body naturally maintains the systems that are required to keep your walking bag of guts mobile. Exercising daily not only helps your muscular and skeletal systems keep their youthful vigor, but also boasts your immune system. Studies have shown that daily amounts of exercise actually increase the production of macrophages, which are kind of like the police officers of the blood stream, hunting down and killing rogue bacteria and viruses that make you sick. Also, everyone knows that exercise increases blood flow, and guess what? This helps your immune system as well! As the blood flow increases, so does the circulation of macrophages and other immune system cellular bodies, which helps your body battle infections faster! Beware though, because too much intensive exercise can cause your immune system to weaken due to so much strenuous activity (marathon running, triathlons, etc.) Daily exercise also limits the release of cortisol into the system, which is an enzyme responsible for the storage of fat in the body. The more you exercise, the less cortisol is released from the liver, which takes your intake of carbohydrates and converts it into adipose tissue (fat layers). If you’re exercising to battle some extra fat areas in certain problem areas (stomach, legs, etc.) be weary about exercises that claim to only specialize in reducing fat in one area of the body. These exercises won’t really target the fat areas of the body, though they will help to strengthen muscles. For example, doing sit-ups won’t necessarily lower the amount of fatty tissue at your stomach,

but it will help to strengthen the muscles at that area. To get rid of excess fatty tissue, you need to indulge in exercise that causes your body to burn off that fat as an energy source, so a more intensive aerobic exercise regiment would need to be required. Have you ever heard from cross-country runners or people involved in vigorous exercise that they feel that exercise is like a drug to them? Well, in a physiological sense, it’s completely true! Vigorous exercise increases the release of opioid peptides, which are basically neural transmitters that in conjunction with endorphins, result in the feeling of euphoria after vigorous exercise. Basically, running a marathon becomes the equivalent of taking opium, physiologically speaking (though much less potent). As shown with other opioids, this increase in production of opioid peptide production can result in an addiction to the euphoric feeling from an athlete who has just completed a major event. What I’m trying to say is that Lance Armstrong doesn’t stop because he doesn’t want to quit, but because he’s addicted to the rush he gets from exercise. Despite the major benefits of exercise, there are a few myths that people have regarding exercise. For example, once a person stops exercising, muscle material doesn’t simply turn into fat tissue. This is simply a result of muscle atrophy in conjunction with an increase in fatty tissue production, which results when the energy source of muscles is converted and stored as adipose (fat) tissue in the body.Another myth is that one must exercise everyday to see results. In fact, most experts agree that a person should only exercise every other day, allowing the body to rest and recover for a day before engaging in strenuous activity again. Failure to do so results in excessive exercising, which can actually increase the risk for health problems in the long run (stroke and other circulation problems), and can decrease the benefits seen in exercise. Basically, be sure not to push yourself beyond what your body is able to handle, and be sure that you treat it nice, and give it plenty of rest between activity. I hope this helps to show how important exercise is to each of us, and how it can, in the long run, make a difference between having a long healthy life and ending up dying of heart disease by 60. So get out there and enjoy this warm weather, have fun while doing it, and remember, be sure to stay healthy while doing it!

Second Supper vol. 9, issue 163

Cover story

Dead End By Adam Bissen adam.bissen@secondsupper.com The bluffs of La Crosse are crisscrossed with a labyrinth of mountain biking trails — some of them legal, others not. The illegal ones came first and go by the colloquial name of Hedgehog. Nobody really knows when they were created, how far they extend, or even where they got their prickly name, but their steep descents and erosion problems are famous, at least among those charged with preserving Hixon Forest. The other mountain biking trails, the legal ones, are graded, groomed, mapped, and maintained. Like Hedgehog, they are free and fun to ride, but their builders — the all-volunteer Human Powered Trails — at least knew what they were doing. “The design of the trail, how it’s actually constructed, makes a big, big difference,” explained Dan Luebke, a Holmen software consultant who has been president of HPT for the past two years. “For the illegal trails, people just take a rake, go through the woods, build it and ride it. Ours are built with the environment in mind.” Since 2001, HPT has grown from a dozen

Human Powered Trails says it designs erosion-proof mountain biking routes. So why is the DNR making them stop? volunteers patching up existing paths, to a 200member organization that has engineered and maintained over 10 miles of multiuse trails. Although it doesn’t collect any city tax money, its future building plans have hit a snag in the form of the state Department of Natural Resources who recently halted all trail construction on La Crosse blufflands. Human Powered Trails came together in 2001 as a way to counteract Hedgehog. Snaking through multiple properties but especially the city-owned Hixon Forest, Hedgehog was literally tearing up the bluffs through soil erosion. Signs and blockades couldn’t stop the rogue mountain biking, so the city granted HPT access to a particularly troublesome thoroughfare: a path from Upper Hixon to the Lower Hixon trailhead best identified by the signpost “This is Not a Trail.” Using shovels and rakes and other human-powered tools, the original HPT crew set out to fortify what was essentially a bicycling chute. The workers patched up eroding spots and leveled out the grading, and while the final product isn’t as sustainable as their later

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trails, it does offer a connector from Upper to Lower Hixon. It was christened with a tonguein-cheek name, TNT Trail, a takeoff of the existential “This is Not a Trail.” After that first project, the scope of HPT expanded like a spider’s web. The city granted the group access to nearly one hundred acres of unused land on Upper Hixon. (The trailhead is off Highway FA, near the National Weather Service and the giant Doppler ball.) Starting from scratch, the group charted new a network through the bluffs, one with properly engineered trails that wouldn’t erode in rain or under tire treads. They also opened the trails to multiple uses beyond biking: Hikers, runners, skiers, snowshoes — even horseback riders are allowed to use the trails. “We’ve got all levels down here,” said Matt Dotta, a civil engineer who was volunteering to help clear the trails Monday night. “Beginners that have never ridden before can ride it. … And then there’s stuff that’s like the hardest mountain bike trails in the world, in my opinion — and I’ve been all over — stuff that puts Moab to shame.” In just a few years, the size and scope of Human Powered Trails expanded dramatically. Around 200 people are now affiliated with the organization. Some build trails while others handle paperwork, lead hikes, plan events, and secure donations. Luebke said the group has constructed around 12 miles of trails, mostly on city parkland, and except for horseback riders no one needs a permit or to pay fees to use the trails. HPT also works closely with Mississippi Valley Conservancy, a public land trust that acquires undeveloped property for preservation. A few APT trails pass through Conservancy land, including one that runs alongside the dramatic Mathy Quarry, but last month the DNR ordered MVC land off-limits for mountain bike trail construction. The DNR’s ruling surprised HPT members (who had planned to start trail building just three days after the announce-

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Photos by Ashly Conrad ment), but they hope to convince the state to reverse its decision. “We’ve worked very closely with MVC over the last three years on planning the trail — where it was going to be, what type of trail it is — to protect the resources that are over there,” said Luebke. “I think the DNR might have been a little bit out of the loop, and that might be partly our fault as well as partly MVC’s fault, so we’re having meetings discussing that.” Considering HPT trails pass through a swath of beautiful Driftless Zone topography, it’s no surprise that the DNR would want to protect it. But on a properly constructed trail, Luebke maintains, a mountain bike actually displaces less soil than a hiker. Before joining an HPT construction crew, volunteers have to attend a two-day “trail building school” where they learn how to engineer a sustainable trail. If built correctly, trails actually require very little maintenance, and all the HPT trails withstood a 2007 downpour that dropped 10 inches of rain in 24 hours. Luebke said Human Powered Trails has the full support of both MVC and the City of La Crosse, who are relieved at the halt in Hedgehog traffic. Together they hope to convince the DNR that the mountain bike trails don’t destroy a pristine environment. “Everybody wants to use the land — ATVs, mountain bikers, hikers, birdwatchers, snowmobilers, truck drivers — so the DNR does have a responsibility (to protect it),” said Gene Roberts, a physicians assistant at Gundersen Lutheran who sits on the HPT board of directors. “But these trails are for the people, and our tax dollars are the ones supporting it, so it’s important that we maintain our high profile and let them know that we’re not going to back down very easily.” With trail work halted on Conservancy property, HPT volunteers plan to spend the upcoming season maintaining the existing trails on city-owned land. They’re also constructing a dirt track on a few blufftop acres near the trailhead, one where kids can hop jumps and BMX riders can grab air in front of a stunning Driftless Zone vista. “Next time someone hikes up here from Hixon, just go across the road towards the Weather Ball,” Dotta said. “They’ll be amazed at what’s available here.”

Second Supper vol. 9, issue 163

Two-wheel commute By Bob Treu contributing editor

Happy Trails

The first time I saw the little cabin at Lytle’s Landing, I was biking with friends to Trempealeau. There it was, on a lot that faced the bike trail on one side, Lytle Lake on the other. A hundred yards north of there, the lake emptied into the Black River. Since my other outdoor interest is canoeing, the place seemed perfect. Ten years later I had an opportunity to buy it, so I did. Since then, the bike trail has become my highway. Of course I still haven’t been able to wean myself away from the car, but I’m getting closer. When I moved to Lytle’s Landing, I was no longer teaching full time, so I could get along quite well with the bike in decent weather. Peddling from the cabin to the University takes me about an hour and a half, so I can easily do a class or two and bike back before dinner. It takes me roughly 40 minutes to bike to downtown Onalaska and an hour to Valley View Mall. The first part of the trail runs through the marshes and along the river, so it’s enjoyable for eight months of the year (in a good year). Working in Oldenburg, Germany, had taught me a light drizzle won’t keep you off the bike if you want to get somewhere. As the winter there wore on, I saw women who seemed to be in their seventies, coursing through Oldenburg’s cold and foggy slop without a second thought. While my La Crosse and Onalaska journeys are generally safe, they aren’t always. In Onalaska whole stretches of Main Street lack

defined bike lanes. It’s safest to slow down and take the sidewalk, but I got hit doing exactly that. I was mowed down crossing a side street by a smug young thug in a black SUV roughly the size of the Titanic (or so it seemed to me just at the moment of impact). The driver saw his chance to make a right turn, and the presence of a bike in the crosswalk did not seem to impress him. Didn’t Mom and Dad put him in this sweet machine for a reason? Didn’t they tell him to get out there and live free? I assume so, since he never bothered to see how much damage he had done. Incredibly, the bike was unharmed. The driver hadn’t picked up enough speed to do any serious damage. The relatively minor cuts and abrasions on the legs of the rider were used to score a free cup of coffee from the sympathetic folks at Barnes & Noble. Before I writing this I talked with Kevin Miller, proprietor of Blue Heron Bicycle Works, on Main Street in Onalaska. He’s the guy who works on my bikes when there’s anything serious to be done. He and his wife bike to work almost every day, and he has worked very hard to improve conditions for bikers. He tells me the situation on Main Street isn’t likely to improve much in the near future. On the other hand, there is better news for those of us who bike back and forth between La Crosse and Onalaska. Currently the only safe route is to follow the designated bike trail, which takes you over two bridges

and east almost to Highway 16. Then it takes you through Myrick Park to the University area. Not bad if I’m on my way to do a class. But it’s substantially out of the way if I am heading downtown. In fact it adds between 15 and 25 minutes to the trip. Long ago our forefathers could bike to Onalaska along the river, on Highway 35, before all the interchanges were built. You can still do that. In fact I do it myself sometimes, but only when I’m suffering the kind of depression that makes life seem generally meaningless, and that’s rare. Anyway, I don’t recommend that route. In my own memory people biked to Onalaska on county highway C (now Oak Avenue), which runs parallel to 35. In fact the current bike trail uses the northern part of Oak Avenue before it turns east. It is, by general agreement, the worst biking surface in the area, alternating between gut-messing washboard and deep pits. Also, the south end of Oak Avenue was blocked off when the new roads connecting the eastern sections of La Crosse, Onalaska and Highway 16 were built. The idea, apparently, was to force traffic to take either Highway 35 or the eastern route, rather than the old straight and safe shot to down-

town Onalaska. The fact that they were cutting off the bike traffic didn’t seem to occur to the planners. The good news is that there are plans to resurface Oak Avenue (which will please Kevin, even though it will cut seriously into his tire, inner tube, and front fork business.) There is also a plan to build a bridge over the blockade on the La Crosse end, which will create a faster route to downtown La Crosse. Apparently part of the federal stimulus program will go for this purpose. It’s shovel ready. This area does have some pleasant and useable bike trails, but in the past the planners seemed to think of biking as a harmless hobby rather than as serious transportation. Now that we are in the midst of a serious and most likely permanent energy crisis, there are signs that people are taking biking more seriously. We need to do everything we can to encourage that trend.

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The sweet scent of jive fills my heart this week, as I take a special look inside the world of blaxploitation. A genre popularized by works such as Superfly and Baadasss Song, blaxploitation’s heyday lasted from the early- to mid-'70s.These flicks often paint worlds of urban decay, populated by outlandish pimps, strung-out hookers, beady eyed racist honkies, and white bitches looking for a taste of chocolate. Sweet funk music, fueled by horns and wah-wah pedals, flowed throughout the scenes, creating some of the best scores put to film. Though successors such as I’m Gonna Git You Sucka!, the Shaft revival, and the occasional Chappelle’s Show skit have carried the torch from time to time, the style as movement is long gone. But I’m not going to wax poetic about the Shafts and Dolemites of the scene. In true Bizarro Masterpiece Theatre tradition, I’m going to veer a little off, away from the pimp slaps and into a little unusual territory. One of the films is well-known, the other two aren’t, but all three are examples of blaxploitation in high form. Among these three films, The Black Gestapo is perhaps the most conventional. The title of the film is likely to lead one to believe that this is a dark continent rendition of Ilsa: She-Wolf of the SS, featuring African shocktroops in swastika-covered regalia carrying out der Fuhrer’s bidding. If there’s anything to call bullshit on in this film, it’s this cheap appropriation of Nazi™ parlor tricks to drum up shock. In reality, Adolf is a no-show, outside of stock footage used in the introduction and superimposed on the cheering horde of black militants. It’s the classic Hitler bait and switch. What really happens is that a group of black Guardian Angels breaks away from its peaceful core and embraces a more violent recourse to the evil honky scourge that riddles the community with drugs, extortion, and overwrought monologues that would have made the cast of Roots proud. Led by the guy who played Mac Robinson in Night Court, this splinter group runs the cracker mob out of town, only to become an even worse scourge upon the neighborhood. The drugs still flow free, the stores still get shaken down, and the hookers remain abused. The Black Gestapo acquires its own compound and forms an army, while the officers lounge in a white chick pleasure paradise. The noble General Ahmed soon learns of his underling’s treason and confronts his lieutenant. Mutiny abounds, and the general is left for dead. But there’s no stopping General Ahmed, who enacts serious payback against The Black Gestapo, raiding its compound in broad daylight and not getting discovered by even one member of the army! Home Alone grade traps soon give way to a proper throwdown, and Ahmed and his lieutenant duke it out in the pool. Though a body soon floats in the water, there’s no blood in the pool. Magic! Whereas The Black Gestapo centers around the typical sex and drug themes of urban decay, its avoidance of us vs. them race conflict in favor of an examination of demographic self-exploitation makes it more interesting than

the cheap Nazi™ affiliation would imply. The Black 6, though on the surface a blacks vs. whites story, is a far more fluid subject in execution. For starters, The Black 6 is, to my knowledge, the only blaxploitation biker flick. Leading the cast are six pro football players from the NFL who ride around in a nomadic existence, doing odd jobs to pay their way. Despite their mild-mannered demeanor, The Black 6 are ready and able to finish a fight. In the beginning of the film, they clear a redneck roadhouse in pretty spectacular fashion, not leaving until the place collapses. The meat of the story concerns one member’s return home as he seeks justice for the murder of his brother, killed because he was dating the white sister of a bike gang leader. The conflict escalates until The Black 6 squares off against an army of honky bikers, led by a guy in a two-horned Viking helmet. Soon, the rivals are throwing road flares at each other (?!), and a cracker goes suicide bomber when he drops a flare in his gas tank and charges. But fear not, the movie says, for The Black 6 will return! If there’s one knock against this film, it’s that the score is very repetitive, sticking to one theme throughout much of the movie. But beyond this, The Black 6 is pretty sweet. And now, we come to the big gun, the champ — Blacula! Still, it’s hard to consider this film to be a true blaxploitation film. Besides bearing one of the greatest funk soundtracks ever, this film bears few of the stereotypes of the genre. Pimps, hookers, and drugs are wholly absent. Instead, Blacula feels more beholden to Bram Stoker’s vampire tale than to Superfly, though it is painted with the latter’s paintbrush. Blacula is an African prince named Mamuwalde, sent alongside his wife to Castle Dracula in an attempt to persuade its count to protest the slave trade. Count Dracula behaves like a stereotypical plantation owner, hitting on Mamuwalde’s wife and joshing about slavery. When Mamuwalde takes offense, Drac puts the whammy on him and curses him with the count’s name — Blacula! Is Dracula’s real name Doctor Acula? I think so. B. L. Acula finds himself in '70s New York, unleashed by a pair of sassy interior designers upon the city. His creation of an undead plague is kind of underplayed in light of the discovery of his reincarnated wife. Yes, Blacula is a stone killer, but he’s in love! But that excuse isn’t good enough for Black Van Helsing, who matches wits with the vampire and hunts him down. The regal bearing of Blacula led my friend to compare him with The King of Cartoons from Pee-Wee’s Playhouse, and as we watched this film he and I mimicked that king’s stately baritone: “Let the cartoon… begin!” While researching the movie the next day, I found out that William Marshall, our Blacula, really did play The King of Cartoons! Though I hardly needed convincing, that sealed the matter. Blacula is the best blaxploitation film I’ve ever seen! — Brett Emerson

Second Supper vol. 9, issue 163

Reviews: Your Guide to Consumption

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Oh hi, right now I’m going through stacks of records, CDs, and mp3s from the past decade trying to put together a list of my favorite 100 albums of the ‘00s for another music journalism job I have. To say this is tedious and overwhelming, not to mention a bit insane, is an understatement. Fortunately the Internet provides a cheat sheet to make things easier for me, as there are dozens of worthwhile sites that list year end top album picks to refresh my mind. The problem with that is I tend to frequent sites that focus on particular genres of music, thus the selections tend to be a bit genre incestuous, for example lots of indie, electronica and hip-hop, hardly any metal, modern jazz, or country. Which brings me to a site I have been wasting an awful lot of my time on lately, http://rateyourmusic.com/charts/top. This site lets anybody be a music critic who can then write a glowing review of their favorite album or simply give it a high rating when every “professional” review you’ve ever seen dismisses it as mediocrity, or tear down a sacred cow that has been unanimously lionized. What I’ve been getting off on most with this site is somehow they have a way of calculating all the scores and creating the top 1000 highest rated albums for every individual year between 1950

May 14, 2009

until now. That is a mind-boggling amount of good music that could fill up a shitload of iPods. They also have a top 1000 list for each particular decade, which I thought would come in handy to fire up my memory banks for my current assignment. The only problem is, I, a person who likes to fancy himself knowledgeable about music, have no clue what a vast majority of these albums are. All genres are co-mingling amongst themselves, so a vote for a videogame soundtrack has as much weight as a fan of opera. Instead of making much ground on the list I’m supposed to be compiling, I’m turning myself on to all sorts of bands, from rarities that not many people have heard of to the top picks by knowledgeable fans of genres I usually ignore. Anybody who is nerdy enough to give ratings of their favorite albums on a Web site is most likely going to be passionate and know their shit, so I find it hard to disagree with the rankings. If you feel like breaking out of your musical comfort zone and want to open your mind up to something new, or if you just want to see how your particular favorites are faring, give this site a look. You too can be as big of a nerd as I am. — Shuggypop Jackson

I came across this local electronic act on an Easter Warehouse show, where Clouds Chasing Sun was one of the openers. Against the talcum scent of fog machine, beneath a lighting rig that he brought himself, Dylan Randolph sang metallic words over the programmed beats and bleeps which emerged from his computer. He played an adjacent keyboard when needed and hopped around uneasily when nothing else was required. Though the performance contained the awkwardness that can accompany premade music’s translation into live action, the sonics themselves were solid, synthy club ammunition. And when an artistically bleached group of L.A. scenesters named Aerodrome followed his act and junkie-twitched to songs about MySpace and Hollister, the humble, polite performance of Clouds Chasing Sun became one to grow nostalgia for. Some time afterwards, I received a disc in the HQ mail, bearing four Clouds Chasing Sun songs. After a few listens through, the old guidance counselor line I’d heard for years resonated in mind. This is a work of as yet unrealized potential, a fine start to an act that needs little more than time and experimentation to stand apart from the electronic party line. Dylan Randolph knows how to put a song together. Much of this disc brims with technical

Medium: Album Stimulus: Clouds Chasing Sun Anno: 2009

and songwriting ability, competently presenting a wide spectrum of electronic styles. The area I note as needing improvement is in the sounds themselves, which sometimes delve into cheesy, out of the box electrofodder. This is especially on display on the third track, “It’s Dead, No Need to Poke It,” as glass leads and steely rumbling accompany an overly repetitive mantra. The preceding track, “Ashes,” begins with one of the disc’s best moments, soft vocals washing over the pulse of piano and occasional synths. But then it abruptly leaps into a raver’s chorus that breaks up the whole effect. A good second verse briefly interrupts and tries to bring things back to level, but isn’t enough. I readily admit a prejudice against the vocoder, believing that vocals should be human or robot, not jangly cyborgs in drag. As such, a few of these songs raised my alarm. Randolph doesn’t make his usage obnoxious, as many warblers of electronica do, but it could have been toned down in “It’s Dead…” or the final, otherwise shining acceleration track, “Murmurs.” These points aside, I like where this music is going. As Randolph further challenges and develops his sound, Clouds Chasing Sun could become a very bright creature.

— Brett Emerson

Reviews: Your Guide to Consumption

Future Sons by Noah Singer

A Christmas Tale (Un conte de Noël) (2008) Director: Arnaud Desplechin Cast: Catherine Deneuve, Mathieu Amalric, Anne Consigny Writer: Arnaud Desplechin and Emmanuel Bourdieu Maybe it's just a strange coincidence that I revisited "The Royal Tenenbaums" (2001), Wes Anderson's quirky film about an unstable family that reunites in light of the patriarch's supposed terminal illness, just a day before watching "A Christmas Tale," another film about an unstable family that reunites when a parent, in this case the mother, falls ill. Both films rely on a series of supporting struggles to complement the main struggle. But while "Tenebaums" relies on quick-cut scenes and a zany, often overwhelming mise en scène to portray a powder keg-of-a-family waiting to erupt, "A Christmas Tale" presents an equally dense but relaxing story via drawn-out scenes of quiet reflection and poetic meandering. At nearly two-and-a-half hours, "A Christmas Tale" has the feel of a well-acted, character-centric stage play thoroughly realized on film. It reiterates the maxim that names can be deceiving, because despite having a title that conjures up thoughts of the holiday season, the only thing this black comedy has in common with Christmas is the time setting. It dissects the lives of three siblings fresh off realizing that soon their parents will die. The facade of what appear at first to be standard sibling rivalries soon unravels to reveal scars so repressed and ugly that not even the bond of family could

possibly yield reconciliation. Scenes of unspoken tension between a warring brother and sister teeter on the edge of uncomfortably hilarious and awkwardly painful; likewise, the dialogue between two childhood friends, now in their 40s, who could have been lovers has the emotional and timeless impact as if written by Bill Shakespeare himself. It's this dealing with the realization and weight of lost time that injects an otherwise dry, frivolous drama with an emotional kick. Though some scenes at first feel superficial and pointless, it's actually this dawdling that releases the complexity in the characters, comprised of an attractive ensemble French cast, and shows that a slow, soft-spoken film doesn't have to shy away from tough subjects. In fact, while the film's first half might initially seem especially hard to get through, viewers will eventually be rewarded with a stunning array of complex characters. By way of strong performances and dialogue with depth, viewers come to realize that maybe there is something positive and "Christmasy" about this movie after all, it just isn't as blatant as impatient viewers would desire. ("A Christmas Tale" is now available on DVD)

— Nick Cabreza

Bitter Woman IPA Tyranena Brewing Company Lake Mills, Wisconsin When Campus Quillins — that beloved local grocery store that was half liquor section, half frozen dinner aisle — went out of business last summer, it left a hole in the heart of the UW-La Crosse student population. Or maybe it was just their livers. Either way, it didn’t take long for beer-thirsty consumers to have their needs met, which is generally the pattern of consumption all across Wisconsin. In our neighborhood, though, Kwik Trip is king, and the remodeled store at La Crosse Street and West Avenue is shaping up to be some kind of convenience store castle. They brought in deli sandwiches and the shiny chrome coffee urns, but for the purposes of this column the best new feature is the beer cave (which, I think, is just Wisconsin-ese for “walk-in cooler”). Inside you’ll find the typical spread of Budweisers and Millers and collegiate staples like Keystone, but you can also get six-packs of Wisconsin’s better microbrews, making it a contender for the nation’s finest convenience store. I passed on the $3 Mountain Creeks and grabbed this Bitter Woman, the flagship ale of the Tyranena Brewing Company. It was even better than a 64 oz. Big Buddy. For an IPA, the Bitter Woman pours a rather pale-colored amber, but the head is active and long lasting. Really, after 10 minutes

BEER

Review

the foam is still one finger thick, and it leaves a nice lacing in the glass. Appearance: 8 Although a hop smell dominates the initial Aroma: 7 whiff, a deeper inhale reveals malts and the most Taste: 5 orange marmalade-y aroma I’ve ever detected Mouthfeel: 6 in an IPA. So forewarned by the smell, the brand Drinkability: 5 name, and the puckering old lady printed on the label, I expected Bitter Total: 31 Woman to have a bitter flavor, but I’m still shocked when it hits my tongue: It’s like being slashed by a hoppy weed wacker. There’s a tangy flavor on top of the hops, but the bitterness makes it hard to gain a full appreciation of the taste. I think there’s some citrus in there and some toffee notes buried in the mix, but it’s unfortunate that that interesting pairing never rises to the fore. An extreme hop freak might enjoy quaffing this beer, but I can’t see myself drinking too many in one sitting. It’s all good, though, if you can sneak six friends in your dorm. — Adam Bissen

French press I’m an eternal fan of keeping it simple, and when it comes to coffee, that means brewing up your morning energy juice in a French press, a.k.a. press pot. This device is typically a glass pitcher fitted with a metal screen on a plunger.This method is super portable and requires no energy, so after your water is boiled, you’re ready to head out the door. The most important thing to know about using a French press is that you need to get a sturdy grinder. The single-blade type of grinder won’t do it for this method — you need a conical burr grinder, which will be well worth it if you want to make French press coffee or espresso. This kind of grinder makes an even grind: super-fine for espresso or super-coarse for French press coffee. Using too fine a grind in a press pot will result in muddy coffee…not good. Using a subpar grinder will give you enough dust to create sediment and should be avoided at all costs. The coffee should look like coarsely-ground pepper. Once you’ve got the grind just right, it’s pretty straightforward. Adjust the amount to your taste, and then pour boiling water over

the grinds evenly, making sure to saturate them all. Be prepared to witness “bloom” at this point — the grounds will puff up, putting you at risk for an overflow situation. If this occurs, remain calm and remember two things next time: pour slowly and don’t use beans that are too freshly roasted. That last bit might sound insane, but really: within two or three days of being roasted, coffee beans contain an enormous amount of carbon dioxide. Maybe you’ve opened a vacuum-sealed package of fresh coffee and witnessed the pressure release when the bag is opened — that’s all the carbon dioxide being slowly released from the beans. Of course I recommend using freshly-roasted beans (if you’re real hoity-toity, that means within ten days, but I’d even use beans that are a touch older); just let them rest a few days. OK, so after you have the bloom under control, wait two to four minutes depending on your taste and the size of your press pot. Then slowly, evenly push down the plunger. If you’ve prepared everything correctly, get ready for an intense, rich cup o’ joe.

— Amber Miller

Second Supper vol. 9, issue 163

I'm Jonesin' for a Crossword

Maze Efflux by Erich Boldt

"Pig Out"--external appearances count. By Matt Jones Across 1 Lozenge ingredient 5 Rob of "Brothers & Sisters" 9 Clinton's veep 13 Baldwin of "The Departed" 14 In the blink ___ eye 15 Kuwaiti currency 16 Pick some date fruit off the tree 18 "Oh no!" in Norwegian areas of the Midwest 19 Cupcake topper for some girls' birthday parties 21 Tour gp.? 24 Golden ___ Golf (bar video game) 25 Surround-sound device 26 Daniel Craig role 28 "___ Hope" (1980s ABC soap) 31 Laura of "Jurassic Park" 32 Brothers with a 2009 movie 34 Get ideas 36 Baked ham garnish 41 Salami style 42 Parting word 44 "QuiĂŠn ___?" 47 Misogynistic Beastie Boys song 50 Twist the statistics 51 Seizes by force 53 Org. that publishes Physician Specialty Codes 55 ___ out a living 56 Sausage or mushrooms, e.g. 60 Schick product 61 How your waistline may get if you pig Answers to Issue 162's "Center Piece"

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out? 65 99, e.g. 66 Prefix with commuting 67 Fox News contributor Karl 68 A little bit pissed 69 Tire leak sound 70 Ben's comedy costar Down 1 Kill mosquitos outdoors, perhaps 2 Wrigley Field's st. 3 Not alt 4 Letters on old Soviet rockets 5 Temporary ride 6 Like some singing in grade school assemblies 7 The ___ look (stick-

skinny fashion trend) 8 Many a Caltech grad 9 They may be placed in a higher class 10 Flaming 11 Gilda of the original SNL cast 12 Christopher Paolini book 15 Check for prints 17 First aid box 20 "Evening Shade" narrator Davis 21 Popular lunchbox sandwich, for short 22 Gwyneth Paltrow's website 23 ABBA member ___-Frid Lyngstad 27 Song that elicits images of "Top Gun" 29 How some stocks are sold 30 Stars' org. 33 "What'd I tell ya?" 35 "From my cold, dead hands" gp. 37 Far-from-calm feeling 38 "In Seed Comes Fruit" band ___ Dog Pondering 39 Company with a current web ad featuring naked runners 40 Word after band or film 43 Director Boll of 2005's "Alone in the Dark" 44 Toyota sports cars 45 Cheese in a bagel flavor

46 Game show device 48 They were big in the '70s 49 Vanquishes, medieval-style 52 "___-Time Lover" (Stevie Wonder song) 54 Colony dweller 57 Selects 58 Co. leader 59 Sandwich served with tzatziki 62 Deferential gesture 63 "___ seen worse..." 64 ___-Y (today's twentysomething crowd) ÂŠ2009 Jonesin' Crosswords (editor@jonesincrosswords.com) For answers to this puzzle, call: 1-900226-2800, 99 cents per minute. Must be 18+. Or to bill to your credit card, call: 1800-655-6548. Reference puzzle #0414.

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Alumni 620 Gillette st. Beef & Etc.

1203 La Crosse st.

Barrel Inn 2005 West ave. Barrel Inn 2005 West ave. Beef & Etc. 1203 La Crosse st. Brothers The Cavalier 306 st. 114 Pearl 5th ave. Big Al’s 115 S 3rd st. The Cavalier Irish Hills 114 5th ave.

Sunday 3 games for $5 starts at 8 p.m. SIN Karaoke

bucket special $2.00 Domestic Silos $2.50 Jack Daniel Mixers $2.00 Goldschlager

Beer Pong $7.00 w/dog 4Italian Cansbeef 8-close meal: $6.69 Pizza Puff meal: $4.49 2 for 1 cans &

bottles during Packer games

2.25 for mini pitcher

closed free pitcher of beer or soda with large pizza

W4980 Knobloch rd

CheapShots 318 318 Pearl Pearl st. st.

Chuck’s

1101 1101 La La Crosse Crosse st. st.

Coconut Joe’s 223 Pearl st.

Monday 3 games for $5

Free Texas Hold 'Em Tourney starts at 8 p.m. Win a $100 bar tab

Buck Night

9.75 sutffed sirloin 8 jack daniels tips 8 $1 shots of meatball sandwich Doctor, cherry doctor - 8-cl meal: $6.69 Happy hour 4-6 $1.75 cans, $2 mix drinks 2 Chicago dogs meal:

$5.891/4 barrel

giveaway 8-11Buck $1 Burgers burgers

3 games for $5 Bar Bingo: starts p.m. Win upatto7$500

Birthday Tuesday: starts 6 p.m. Drink freeatif you have a birthday this week

Bud Night 6 - CL: bottles $1$1.75 Domestic Taps $2$5 Craft Import Taps pitchers $2.50 Vodka Mixers $1 Shot Menu $7 22oz tbone 16oz top sirloin

$2.50 Select imports/craft Beers $2.50 Top shelf Mixers $2 Mich Golden bottles

Import night Ladies Night: starts 7 p.m. Ladiesat drink free

and other huge prizes

$5 Pitchers $5 Long Islands

Happy Hour64-p.m. CL- 9 p.m. M-F $2 $2.50 DomesticSparks Silos $2.50 Premium Silos $2.50 Three Olive Mixers $2. Goldschlager

$1 softshell tacos $1 shots of meal: doctor, Italian beef cherry $6.69 doctor Chicago chili dog: $3.89 Bucket Night 6 beers

for $9meal: Italian beef $6.15 Chicago chili dog: $3.45 Thirsty

77 -- CL CL Tequila’s Tequila’s chips chips & & salsa, salsa, $2 $2 Coronas, Coronas, $2.50 $2.50 Mike’s, Mike’s, Mike-arita Mike-arita

$3.00 Domestic Pitchers, $2.00 Shots of Cuervo, $3 Pitchers 1.75 Rails Rumpleminz, Goldschlager

Mexican Monday Guys'$2.00 Nite Corona, out 1.50 silos Corona Light, Cuervo

AUCD Taps and Rails

25 cent hot wings $1 shots of Dr. 25 cent wings Dollar

domestic pitchers barrel parties at cost $4.50 domestic pitchers Pitcher and Pizza $10

77 -- midnight midnight Ladies: Ladies: 22 for for 11 Guys: $1.50 Guys: $1.50 Coors Coors and and Kul Kul Light Light bottles bottles $.50 domestic taps, $1 microbrews, $3 domestic $.50 taps Domestic 3.00 pitchers, pitchers $6 microbrew pitchers

$2 $2Tuesdays, Tuesdays, including including $2 $2 bottles, bottles, import import taps, taps, beer beer pong, pong, apps, apps, single single shot shot mixers, mixers, featured featured shots, shots, and and 50 50 cent cent taps taps

WING WING NIGHT-$1.25/LB NIGHT-$1.25/LB BUFFALO, BUFFALO,SMOKEY SMOKEY BBQ, BBQ,PLAIN PLAIN $1.00 $1.00 PABST PABSTAND AND PABST PABST LIGHT LIGHT BOTTLES$1.50 BOTTLES$1.50 ROLLING ROLLING ROCK ROCK BOTTLES BOTTLES $2.25 $2.25 BUD BUD LIGHTS LIGHTS $1.00 $1.00 SHOT SHOT OF OFTHE THEWEEK WEEK

Wristband Night Wristband Night $5$5COLLEGE I.D. COLLEGE I.D. $9$9general public general public Karaoke Karaoke $1 shot $1 shot specials specials

chicken & veggie OPEN-CL fajitas $2 U "Call" it for two

7-CL:night football domestic beer: $1.50 $1.50 domestic Mexican beer:rails $2.00 pints, $1.50

7-CL: chicken $1.50 domestic primavera pints, $1.50 rails

7-CL: shrimp $1.50 domestic pints, burrito $2 craft pints, $1.50 rails

FiestaHollow Mexicana Fox 5200 Mormon Coulee

chicken & veggie fajitasown Build your for Mary two Bloody 16oz Mug - $4.00

football night domestic beer:Pizza $1.50 Homemade Mexican beer: $2.00 & PItcher of Beer

$9.00

N5292 Hwy 35 rd. 1904 Campbell $5.99 $5.99 gyro gyro fries fries & & soda soda

1908 Campbell rd.

Huck Finn’s Howie's

127 dr. st. 1128Marina La Crosse

9-clNBC Mary night. (Night Bloody Before Class) $3 pitchspecials ers of the beast - 2 4-9 p.m. Happy10 Hour

Football Sunday $1.75 domestic JB’s Speakeasy 11-7 happy hour, free The Helm 717 Rose st. food,bottles $1.50 bloody, 1/2

108 3rd st

Irish Hills

W4980 Knobloch rd 16

price pitchers DTB

(increases 50 cents per hour) $1 rails

9-cl$3.50 Domestic pitchers $1.75 domestic bottles

After ClassMixers $3 $2.00 Captain Pitchers $1.75 Rails

Free Wings

$2.50 JUMBO CAPTAIN AND FLAVORED FLAVORED BACARDI MIXERS BACARDI MIXERS $3.00 JAGER BOMBS $3.00 JAGER BOMBS

live live DJ DJ $1 shot $1 shot specials specials

7-CL: chili $1.50 domestic pints, verde $2 craft pints, $1.50 rails

Ask 2server 3-9: for 1 for details domestic bottles and rail drinks

Fish

Euchre, 7 p.m.

HAPPY Fry HOUR 3 - 8

free wings 6 p.m. - 9 p.m.

HAPPY HOUR 5 p.m. - 10 p.m.

Buy Buy one one gyro gyro get get one one half half price price

free free baklava, baklava, ice ice cream cream or or sundae sundae with with meal meal

$1.25 $1.25 domestic domestic taps taps buy buy one one burger burger get get one one half half price price

All day (everyday!) $1.75 domesticspecials $1.25 Old Style Light bottles $1.50 LAX Lager/Light $1 shots of Dr.

happy hour 4 -6 $2 domestic cans

EVERYDAY 3 -7 9-cl and$1.25 9 - 11 rails, $5 AUCD

$1.75 bottles/cans

Karaoke Karaoke OPEN-CL $2 U "Call" it

Ask server for details

beer pong 6 p.m. $8.95 16 oz steak

HAPPY HOUR 9-cl- $1 rails, $2.50 pitchers, Beer Pong

12-3: Buy one get Jaeger, one $2.00 Malibu, $2.50 domestic $3.00 Jaeger beer Bombs Holmen Meat Locker Jerky Raffle

Happy Hour 7 - 9. $2 for$2.50 all single shot mixers and all beers. JUMBO CAPTAIN AND

HAPPY HOURshrimp EVERYDAY 3 - 6 chili chicken burrito verde primavera $1.25 Bucket of Domestic 25 Cent Wings BURGERS Cans 5 for $9.00 HAPPY HOUR 6 AM - 9 AM

Gracie’s Gracie’s 1908 Campbell rd.

$6.75 shrimp dinner 50 cent taps 4 - 7

Italian beef meal: $6.15 2 Chicago dog meal: $3.00 Bacardi mixers/ $3.45 mojitos Great drinks! $2 Cherry Bombs $1.50 $1 Bazooka Joes bloody marys 11 a.m. - 4 p.m

Happy Hour 12 - 7

$2.00 Cruzan Rum Mixers, $2.50 Ladies'Jameson Nite outShots, 1.50 $3.00 Raill Mixers mixers/ $2.50 X bombs

$3.00 Patron Shots $2 Pearl Street Brewery beers

Fiesta Eagle'sMexicana Nest

Lakeview Goal Post

$2 Cherry Bombs $1 Bazooka Joes

77 -- midnight midnight $2 $2 Malibu Malibu madness madness $2 $2 pineapple pineapple upsidedown upsidedown cake cake

77 -- midnight midnight $1 $1 rail rail mixers mixers $2 $2 Bacardi Bacardi mixers mixers

Ladies Ladies Night Night buy buy one, one, get get one one free free wear wear aa bikini, bikini, drink drink free free

N3287 County OA

pepper & egg sandwich meal: $4.50, fish sandwich meal: $4.99, ItalianCaptain sausage meal: $3.00 mixers/ mojitos $6.15 Great drinks!

All day, everyday: $1.00 Shots of Doctor, $2.00 Cherry Bombs, $1.75 Silos of Busch Light/Coors All day Everyday: $1 Doctor $2 Silos. M-F: Happy Hour 2-6 $.50 off everything but the daily special

closed closed

$2.50 X-Rated Mixers $2 Captain Mixers $2 Premium Grain Belt $2 Snake Bites

batterfried cod, fries, Italian beef meal: pepper & egg sandwich beans, and garlic bread $6.69 meal: $5.50$5.00 2 Chicago dog meal: Italian sausage meal: $6.69 $4.50$5.89

Topless Topless Tuesday Tuesday

5200 1914 Mormon CampbellCoulee rd.

Cosmic Bowl $1 cherry bombs starts at 9 p.m. $1Keystone silos

AUCE wings $5.00 free crazy bingo hamburger or cheeseburger buy one cherry meal: bomb $3.89 get one for $1 Italian Beef w/dog meal: 3 p.m.$7.89 - midnight

$1 $1 Kul Kul Light Light cans cans

411 3rd st.

Cosmic Bowl & $1 cherry bombs Karaoke starts at $1Keystone silos 9 p.m.

$5 bbq ribs and grilled chicken sandfries wich meal: $5.29 Polish sausage meal: $4.49

$4 $4 full full pint pint Irish Irish Car Car Bomb Bomb

Dan’s Place

Saturday

$2.50happy Bomb Shots hour $2.50 Ketel One Mixers $2 Retro Beers "Your Dad's Beer"

Stop in for Value Menu too big to list here

$6.00 AUCD

bucket night 6 for $9

Friday

3-7

$2 Silos

shots of Doctor hamburger meal: 8-Midnight grilled chicken$6 sand$3.69 wich meal: $5.29 HAPPY HOUR 3 PM - 8 cheeseburger PM meal: Polish sausage meal: 10 cent wings (9 - CL) $3.89 $3.99 Martini$2.50 Ladies' Night Wristband $1 High Life 6- 8bottles All Mojitos $5 Blatz vs. Old Styletriple James Martini: vodka, $1.50burgers, rail mixers$2.60 soup orNight salad bar $1.25Tuesday make your own $2.25 meatsec, orpitchers marinara orange juice $1.50 taps $2 Guinness pints FREE with entree or tacos, $4.75 taco salad cheeseburgers, $2 off spaghetti: $3.45 large pizza, $1 fries4 - 7 sandwich until 3 p.m. HOUR Italian sausage: $4.95 $2.25 margaritas, $2 HAPPY $14.95 Steak ($3.95 by itself) off large taco pizza with $1 anyDr. pizza Martini Madness shots 2 for 1 and Golf All week, 3-6: closed $2 off all martinis $3 Jager Bombs taps (begins May 7) $2 domestic cans

meatball sandwich meal: $6.15 2 dogs meal: $ 5.25

77 -- CL CL $1 $1 domestic domestic 12 12 oz oz $2 $2 Stoli Stoli mixers mixers

closed closed

Tuesday Wednesday Thursday

$8.95 16 oz. steak $8.95 1/2 lb. fish platter

Prime Rib

GREEK GREEK ALL ALL DAY DAY buy buy one one appetizer appetizer appetizer half price appetizer half price get get one one half half price price with meal with meal 9-cl -$2 captain mixers, $2 bottles/cans, $3 jager bombs

9-cl $2 bacardi mixers, $2 domestic pints, $1.50 shots blackberry brandy

HAPPY HOUR 5 - 7 Check our ad for specials

Steak and golf $14.95

Second Supper vol. 9, issue 163

Area food food & & drink drink specials specials ] COMMUNITY SERVICE [Area LA CROSSE JB’s Speakeasy 717 Rose st.

Sunday

Monday

Tuesday Wednesday

$1.75 domestic bottles

Friday

Saturday

HAPPY HOUR 5 - 7 $1.00 off all Irish shots $2.50 pints of Guinness $3.00 imperial pints

$2 domestics and rails, 4-8

The Joint

Shots of Doctor $1 all day, everyday

324 Jay st.

Legend’s

Thursday

closed

223 Pearl st.

closed

Nutbush

WING NIGHT $2 SVEDKA MIXERS $2.50 JACK MIXERS $2.25 BUD LIGHTS $2 SHOTS OF ALL DOCTOR FLAVORS

closed

AFTER COMEDY: PINT NIGHT $1 PINTS OF RAILS MIXERS AND DOMESTIC TAPS $2 PINTS OF CALL MIXERS AND IMPORT TAPS $3 PINTS OF TOP SHELF MIXERS

$2 SHOTS OF GOLDSCHLAGER $5 DOUBLE VODKA ENERGY DRINK

HAPPY HOUR 3 - 6

3264 George st.

Players

Price by Dice

214 Main St

Ralph's

In John's Bar 109 3rd st. N

Ringside 223 Pearl st.

Schmidty’s 3119 State rd.

2 for 1 Happy Hour ALL NIGHT LONG

Chef specials daily Mighty Meatball sub $6

CLOSED

breakfast buffet $9.95 10 a.m. - 2 p.m.

BBQ Sandwich

Karaoke @ 10 p.m. 2-4-1 Happy Hour 5 - 10 AUCD Rail mixers @ 10 p.m.

Karaoke @ 10 p.m. 2-4-1 Happy Hour 5 - 10 $1 Pabst cans, Dr. shots @ 10 p.m.

chicken parmesan sub $6

Italian sandwich w/banana peppers and parmesan &6

open 4-9

Buck Burgers

Sports Nut 801 Rose st.

Train Station BBQ 601 St. Andrew st.

Top Shots 137 S 4th st.

Yesterdays 317 Pearl st.

LA CRESCENT

Crescent Inn 444 Chestnut st.

WINONA Godfather’s 30 Walnut st.

May 14, 2009

HAPPY HOUR 4 PM - 7 PM cheeseburger HOOP DAY!! MAKE YOUR SHOT AND YOUR ENTRÉE IS FREE!

2-4-1 Happy Hour 3 - 8 Best Damned DJ'S @ 10 p.m.

Chicken salad on rye w/ lettuce, tomato, onion $5 $6.99 FISH SANDWICH FOR LUNCH, $7.99 FISH SANDWICH FOR DINNER, $9.99 ALL YOU CAN EAT FISH FRY ALL DAY

happy hour all day long! $1.00 OFF WILD WINGS, $1.00 PHILLY STEAK AND CHEESE.

Chili Dogs

Tacos

Fish Sandwich

12 oz. T-Bone $8.99

Fish Fry $6.95

All day (everyday!) specials $3 Double Captain & Cokes $2 Double rails $1 Cans of beer

120 S 3rd st.

1019 S 10th st.

Southwest chicken pita $5

2-4-1 Happy Hour 3 - 9 Best Damned DJ'S @ 10 p.m.

LUNCH BUFFET $6.95 Tacos

Shooter’s

Tailgators

double $6.50

2-4-1 Happy Hour 5 - 10 $2 Capt. mixers $1.75 domestic beer, $1.50 Rails, $1 Pabst cans @ 10 p.m.

happy hour all day

$4 domestic pitchers

Tacos $1.25

15 cent wings

HAPPY HOUR 10 AM - 12, 4 PM - 6 PM $2 Bacardi mixers

$2 Spotted Cow & DT Brown pints

Bucket Night 5 for $9

closed

11-3: Extra side with sandwich 4-9: $1 off rib dinner

Special varies

11-3: Barn burner $7.95 4-9: Hobo dinner (serves 2) $30.95

$1.75 light taps and Dr. shots

$1.50 Bud/Miller Lite/ PBR taps all day $1.75 rails 10 - 1

$2 domestic bottles 7 - 12, $2.50 Skyy/ Absolute mixers 10-1 $2 Dr. drinks

$1 Point special bottles

$2.50 pints Bass & Guinness

$1.75 domestic bottles

$2.25 Pearl st. pints $1.50 PBR bottles

Sunday

Monday

Tuesday Wednesday

$2 Rolling Rocks $2 domestic beer

8 - CL $1.50 rails $1.75 Bud cans

$1 shots of Dr. $2.50 Polish

Sunday

Monday

Tuesday Wednesday

ask for great eats

Fiesta Night 7 - 12 $2 tequila shots $2.50 margaritas

family buffet 5 -8 kids under 10 pay .45 cents per year of age

$1 domestic taps $3 Jager Bombs

5 domestic bottles for $10, $2 Bacardi mixers, $1.50 rail vodka mixers 10 -1

$1 Dr. shots $3 16 oz Captain mixers 11-3 $7.95 Chicken on fire 4-9: Bones & briskets $13.95

$2 Long Islands, PBR bottles, Captain mixers

15 cent wings

$1 Dr. shots $3 16 oz Captain mixers 1/2 Chicken 3 bones $12.95

$2.75 deluxe Bloodys ‘til 7, $5 lite pitchers 7 - 12

$1.75 rails $1 PBR mugs

Thursday

Friday

$2.50 Captain $2.50 Jager Bombs & Polish

$2 u-call-it (except top shelf)

Thursday

Saturday

Friday

Saturday

any jumbo, large, or large 1 topping pizza medium pizza up to 5 $9.99 toppings: $11.99 (get 2nd large for $5)

Entertainment Directory 5/14 - 5/20

Thursday, May 14

May 16, continued

Del’s Bar Derek Ramnarace

The Joint Monkey Wrench