Second Supper 190

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INSIDE: UW-L SCREENS CONTROVERSIAL 'DENIALIST' AIDS DOCUMENTARY | PAGE 4

PAGE 5

PLUS: THEATRE PREVIEW OF 'A CHRISTMAS CAROL' • PAGE 6 | BRAHMAN SHAMAN INTERVIEW • PAGE 9

2// December 3, 2009

Second Supper

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Dear Reader: I must say I’m something of a political person. I have my pet causes — sure, we all do — but lately I’ve been eager to spectate from the sidelines and watch politics unfold from afar. This health care reform bill that’s been snaking through Congress has given me the kind of thrills I’ve never experienced in my life as a political junkie. It’s certainly more thrilling than the cut and dry world of elections, where candidates either win or lose and there are no partial victories or hidden defeats. But this mammoth health care legislation is an ever-changing beast. Sometimes I’m thrilled by the bill, other times it infuriates me, and I always want to know what amendments will be tacked on next.

And while you can be pretty sure that somebody will win something on election day, it’s still possible America's Affordable Health Choices Act of 2009 won’t muster enough votes and this entire marathon would be for naught. By now you may have inferred that I want new health care reforms to pass Congress, and I will explain my reasons more fully on page 5 where I square off with Shuggypop Jackson for an old-fashioned newspaper debate. While I respect Shuggy’s skeptical point of view, I had to let out the political juices that have been pulsing in my veins these past six months, so I guess I’m not a spectator any more. I hereby assume my place on the mantel of crotchety newspaperman. Now could someone pleasure ensure Rep. Ron Kind and Sens.

Herb Kohl and Russ Feingold get my column?

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NAME AND AgE: Megan Catherine Budde, 21 WHERE WERE yOu BORN? Sterling, Illinois (IL pronounced with s) CuRRENT JOB: Filling out applications/full-time mom DREAM JOB: Vocalist lAST THiNg yOu gOOglED: What to do to control the spins when your drunk if yOu COulD livE ANyWHERE iN THE WORlD, WHERE WOulD iT BE? Wales, along the beach WHAT iS yOuR BiggEST PET PEEvE? Bartenders who can’t mix a tasty drink

WHAT BOOk ARE yOu CuRRENTly READiNg? "The Psychology of Past-Life Regression" TEll uS yOuR guilTiEST PlEASuRE: French fries with ice cream (Wendy’s) TEll uS A JOkE: Three guys walk into a bar, one ducks. if A gENiE gRANTED yOu ONE WiSH, WHAT WOulD yOu ASk fOR? I wish one last drive with my brother Drew and my Dad! WHAT'S THE lAST THiNg yOu BOugHT? Wristband at State Room WHAT'S iN yOuR POCkET RigHT NOW?: My ID, a Buddha statue, a piece of paper, some stickers, a letter p and my keys

CElEBRiTy CRuSH: Snoop Dogg’s Voice and Eminem’s Body

WHAT iS yOuR fAvORiTE PART Of SECOND SuPPER? Music Directory and Drink Specials

WHAT iS SOMETHiNg yOu WANT TO DO BEfORE yOu DiE? Get My CDL (For my brother Drew)

HOW DO yOu kNOW DARREN (lAST WEEk'S iNTERviEW)?

Darren has been my big brother since '88!

Second Supper

Things To Do

Singer/songwriter warms up Cellar

The Top

Authorities on bears

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2.

3.

4.

5.

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7.

Grizzly Adams Steven Colbert Timothy Treadwell Dwight Schrute Davy Crocket Green Bay Packers Yogi

Hype Christmas gifts of the '90s

1. Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. Barney 3. Mighty Morphin Power Rangers 4. Beanie Babies 5. Tickle Me Elmo 6. Tamagotchi 7. Furby

Hopefully, you picked up your copy of today's Second Supper as soon as it landed on the rack, bar, counter, table, pinball machine nearest you. You still have time, then, to get to The Cellar in the Cartwright Center on the UW-La Crosse campus for a free acoustic show featuring award-winning singer/songwriter Jason LeVasseur, who combines guitar, harmonica and vocals that a reviewer with the UW-Stout student newspaper said "blew the crowd out of the water." The music begins at 7 p.m. today, Dec. 3. The event is sponsored by the Campus Activities Board. For information, visit www.uwlax.edu/cab.

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Moose Club double bill

The Hunger Task Force also will be a beneficiary of the Holiday Rock Party on Saturday evening, Dec. 5, at the Moose Club, 1932 Ward Ave., La Crosse.

The party will feature two bands: Good Tymes and The Stingrays. Admission is $5 plus a non-perishable food item. The party starts at 7 p.m. For information, call (608) 788-2998 or send an e-mail to ttovsen@charter.net.

2

Great gift ideas for your favorite:

paddler skier backpacker runner

climber college student triathlete

December 3, 2009 // 3

FIRST THINGS FIRST

weekend warrior

La Crosse's very own Christmas 'Village'

Longtime La Crosse shopping mecca the Village Shopping Center remains a vibrant commercial area with a diverse mix of retail and service businesses. On Saturday, Dec. 5, the merchants there will sponsor a Holiday Open House from 10 a.m. to 5 p.m. for old and new friends. There will be a variety of activities for shoppers of all ages. Santa and Hugs the Clown will greet visitors from 1 to 4 p.m. Children also will enjoy crafts and a story time. Visitors can decorate cookies at Quillin's from 9 a.m. to 1 p.m. (and pick up a copy of Second Supper in the foyer) as well as decorate a gingerbread house from 2 to 4 p.m. at Absolutely Edible. There also will be drawings, family portraits, music, refreshments and giveaways provided by the merchants.

Food donations are encouraged to benefit the Hunger Task Force.

For more information, call (608) 788-7555 or visit www.thevillagelacrosse.com online. The shopping center is located at the intersection of Losey Boulevard and State Road.

3

Shop at home, support independent businesses

Finally, we at Second Supper would like to leave you with editorial comment, which is also a Thing To Do. As you make your holiday shopping rounds, please keep in mind the small locally owned businesses that are so much a part of this community but often are overlooked as we seek the best deals we can find by heading out of town or online. Yes, spending your money wisely is important, but we all need to support local businesses, whether they're downtown, Jackson Plaza, Shelby Mall, Village Shopping Center, Northtowne, South Side, and so on. These businesses pay taxes, provide jobs and contribute greatly to our sense of community. Make sure they're also on your holiday list this season. You'll find many of them advertising in our holiday editions Dec. 10 and Dec. 17. Happy shopping!

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4// December 3, 2009

COMMUNITY

Second Supper

Microbioligy Department takes issue; filmmaker wants an 'open dialogue'

Pseudoscience contested after UW-L screens 'denialist' AIDS documentary

By Ben Clark

benjamin.clark@secondsupper.com Last week, UW-La Crosse held a screening of the controversial documentary “House of Numbers,” an award-winning film that claims to explore all of the perspectives on the HIV/AIDS epidemic, as well as differences in opinions about the virus and its progression into AIDS. The showing Nov. 23 was followed by a question-and-answer session with the director of the film, Brent Leung, who claims to be neutral in the HIV debate. In an interview with a New England LGBT publication, Bay Windows, Leung said, “I found that there’s a lot of disconnect between what they [scientists] say, there’s a lot of contradiction, there’s a lot of confusion, and people are dying. So it doesn’t matter who says what, what arguments come from each side. We have to have an open dialogue. We need to know why people are dying.”

Yet, controversy surrounds the documentary. Eighteen of the scientists in the film have redacted their statements, saying that they were misled about the purpose of the film and that their statements were taken out of context. Members of the scientific community dismiss the film as propaganda from the “HIV denialist” movement, saying it promotes falsities and pseudoscience as truths.

A number of faculty members from the UW-L Microbiology Department attended the screening and attempted to voice concerns with the validity of the science depicted in the documentary. Dr. William Schwan, a professor of pathogenic bacteriology, said the biggest problem was the film tries “to make a controversy on whether HIV even exists.” He said, while supporting freedom

of speech, showing the film “reflected poorly on the university.”

Matt Vogel, UW-L community health education specialist who promoted showing the film on campus, declined to comment on the decision and the film.

The film contains numerous scenes contradicted by mainstream science as well as scenes that could mislead the viewer into accepting one point of view over the other. For example, the film features Christine Maggiore, a patient who tells filmgoers that her tests came back inconclusive after numerous positive and negative results. Due to the inaccuracy of the tests, she refused treatment for the disease and subsequently died, as did her daughter, from AIDS related illnesses. This point is mentioned only once in the film — at the end, after the credits. This might not be the fault of the director, who may not understand how the sensitivity of the lab tests used to detect HIV virus (Western Blot and ELISAs) work, but to include a narrative on the inaccuracy of tests and to try to hide the information that the narrator passed away from AIDS related illnesses is not appropriate in a film trying to have an “open dialogue” on the subject.

The main crux of the film is that the HIV destruction of T-cells (immune system response cells) might not result in the progression of AIDS in humans. This notion is based solely on an article from 2007 that appeared on scientificdaily.com, which reported that primates suffering from Simian Immunodeficiency Virus (SIV) had the resultant loss of T-cells but never progressed into AIDS. Nowhere in the film is it mentioned that this study was done with primates, not humans. And nowhere does it mention that the study found SIV does

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cause AIDS in some species of primates and that some other species are able to rebound after a loss of T-cells.

Within the very same article that Leung uses to claim that HIV might not be the causative agent in AIDS, the researchers very clearly state that HIV infections within humans result in T-cell destruction, and humans lack the ability to “bounce back” and remain free of the risk of the virus progressing to AIDS. Due to his inability to understand the study he quotes, Leung's hypothesis that other co-factors result in AIDS can be debunked. He claims, for example, that poverty is a co-factor, but poverty rates in Africa have declined while HIV/AIDS rates remain steady.

The film does bring up a valid point about the toxicity of AZT, an antiretroviral drug that is used to curb the progression of HIV into AIDS. There have been documented cases of AZT resulting in host death. The drug is designed to prevent the transcription of the genetic material within HIV viruses and while there clinical benefits seen in patients suffering from HIV, there are well-known side effects that can result in death.

“House of Numbers” is a film that needs to be analyzed critically. Every claim made by the interviewees and the director need to be researched thoroughly. Any notion that HIV is not a direct causative agent of AIDS or doesn’t exist could potentially lead to millions of deaths due to a lack of knowledge, resources and education. This is not a consequence that should be taken lightly. Those who fully support the documentary would do well to remember that lesson.

Please, remember to research everything you see, and think for yourselves.

Publisher: Roger Bartel roger.bartel@secondsupper.com Editor in Chief: Adam Bissen adam.bissen@secondsupper.com Student Editor: Ben Clark benjamin.clark@secondsupper.com Sales: Mike Keith mike.keith@secondsupper.com Sales: Jason Larsen jason.larsen@secondsupper.com Sales intern: Ansel Ericksen ansel.ericksen@secondsupper.com

Second Supper

December 3, 2009 // 5

COMMUNITY

Should health care be reformed?

By Adam Bissen

Yes

adam.bissen@secondsupper.com

In the midst of the jowl-jabbering debate over health care reform — the howling cries of socialism, the threat of death panels, the newfound virtue of restraint and the fear of government takeover — we tend to forget that health insurance companies are basically middlemen that perform an inessential service. Insurance companies don’t treat sick people. They don’t prevent illnesses or even work to keep people healthy. They’re paper-pushers that collect premiums (more often than not) from healthy people and write checks (unless they can get away with it) to reimburse hospitals. It’s a shell game, but for some reason Americans are reluctant to rewrite the rules.

Enough with the stasis. The 2,000plus pages of health care reform currently being debated by the House and Senate aren’t perfect. They don’t tear down the walls of the insurance industry, cover every American or ensure that citizens won’t go bankrupt just because they get sick. But it’s a start — and an impressive start considering Teddy Roosevelt first called for health care reform a century ago and no Congress until this one has ever been so close to passing it.

There are literally millions of sob stories in America of people who lacked sufficient health insurance, got sick, lost their jobs, went bankrupt or worse. I’ve read so many over these past few months that I feel like I’m suffering some kind of rhetorical PTSD. There was the Oregon logger who lost his job and his benefits, took ill and had to move his family into his mother’s mobile home while maxing out his credit cards. There’s the Minnesotan with a crippling hereditary disease who refuses any tests because if he comes up positive no insurance company will ever carry him. The fact that every reporter in America knows a dozen human interest stories related to health care reform doesn’t just put a face on what’s actually a marathon piece of insider politics — it affirms that there’s a base-level call for change that’s been shamefully suppressed by political contributions and lobbying.

As my comrade to the right would probably acknowledge, most of our health coverage ills come from insurance companies’ pursuit of profits. Putting aside the debate of whether health is a public good or a corporate service, the ramifications of

profit-oriented coverage are clear. The first goal of a health insurance company is not to ensure the health of its customers; it is to turn a profit — and more than that, it is to turn increasing profits every quarter.

They do this by taking in more money than they pay out, and while admittedly that is the structure of every corporation ever, the ends to which insurance companies go are especially reprehensible. Insurance companies increase premiums without consent, turn away needy applicants for pre-existing conditions, refuse to pay for certain treatments and scour medical records to justify denying claims. In effect, health insurance isn’t even insurance at all. You can’t count on it when you need it the most.

While health care reform has been dismissed on blogs and talk radio as the work of socialists, the bill actually turns to free market principles to solve the disparities in coverage. Right now in America there are approximately 47 million people without any insurance, while a majority of citizens experience full coverage — either through their employers or through Medicare. To treat everyone, health care providers ratchet up fees to compensate for the uninsured who receive free care at emergency rooms.

(Although E.R. costs are three times higher than regular hospital services, it is illegal to turn away patients because of a lack of insurance.) By making health insurance mandatory, a controversial provision of the reform bill, the government effectively opens the insurance market to millions of new customers. Since hospitals know they are guaranteed payment, they can actually reduce treatment costs that are set artificially high, or else lose patients that could seek treatment elsewhere.

The same goes for insurance premiums. Both the House and Senate bills create a Web-based open marketplace for individuals to choose the insurance plans that best meet their needs. As we learned in high school economics, a “perfect market" contains unlimited buyers and sellers with no barriers to entry or to information.

Just imagine what 30 million new customers, most buffered by federal subsidies, will do to the marketplace. Neither insurers nor health providers would reap unjust profits if all transactions are transparent, and citizens can switch plans if they feel they’re not being served. Thus, costs go down and an inefficient industry is tamed through populist politics and a truly free market. It all seems so simple. Too bad it isn't.

While health care reform has been dismissed on blogs and talk radio as the work of socialists, the bill actually turns to free market principles to solve the disparities in coverage.

By Shuggypop Jackson

No

shuggypop.jackson@secondsupper.com The current system of for-profit hospitals with prices nobody can afford, pharmaceutical companies that generate enormous profits via kickbacks to over-medicated America, and insurance companies that rob the public blind with outrageous premiums and dropped coverage is a downright sin. But is having government become bloated with bureaucrats and red tape the way to overhaul this debacle? The health care system is currently a sixth of the American economy. With that much cash comes leverage. Along comes Big Brother and says, "Hey buddy, we're gonna lower the cost of health care while giving every American access to the best care in the world." What this translates to is, "Hey buddy, we're gonna substantially cut into your profits while increasing your workload." More work for less compensation? Is there anyone reading this who wouldn't be irate if this scenario were imposed on your job? By no means do I have empathy for these health-care fat cats who make bloated salaries off the bankruptcies of so many others, but I don't see these folk (or the share holders they're indebted to) rolling over and allowing bureaucrats to dictate what's up any more than the Wall Street fat cats have. And is the infrastructure in place to provide health care to every American or will this just clog the system?

There's a fallacy about "free health care" that I need to debunk: It isn't free.

Unless the above mentioned sixth of the economy suddenly starts volunteering their time and resources for the betterment of society, there is going to be a price tag involved. Seeing as how the health care industry has so much leverage, I don't see their profits willingly going down. So along comes socialized medicine, which says, "Hey, don't worry, government will pay for this." The price tag I've heard thrown about is one trillion dollars over 10 years. Despite whatever shell game they try to blow up our asses on how it will be funded, realistically this means either taxes get raised or an even greater deficit is handed down to future generations to pay. Raising taxes is never a popular option, with the majority feeling their tax dollars are squandered by bureaucratic waste. Don't worry, they will simply tax the rich to help the poor, they say. Such a textbook knee-jerk bleedingheart response, and so polarizing a topic.

Although programs in the past to tax the

rich to help the poor haven't shown positive results, this is still the response championed most often by the have-nots who wouldn't have to carry the burden of garnished salaries, earned through hard work, sacrifice and high levels of stress. Where is the incentive to work hard and take on high pressured careers if the government is going to heavily tax your wages?

In an ideal world, everybody would have entitlements such as health coverage bestowed upon them — even the deadbeats, layabouts and degenerates of society who have done nothing to earn these privileges.

And I'm all for a swift kick in the nethers to insurance companies. Putting that into reality isn't easy, though. You can bring up ill-informed talking points about Europe's socialized medicine and cherry-picked facts popular with the rhetoric from the left, but unless you can impress me with some indepth knowledge of economics, these ideas aren't anything more than nice fantasies. By no means am I some patsy from the right, and it pains me to somewhat take the side of those goobers on this debate. America has a huge deficit, funding ongoing wars, the collapse of banks, that whole job creation thing that I haven't noticed any results from yet, and the lingering pink elephant in the room that isn't really being discussed — the soon-to-be Social Security crisis when the baby boomer generation retires. Just tack a trillion dollar health care bill on to this debt and let our elected officials continue to spend our tax dollars like drunken sailors?

I worked in the government for a year, and I never had a job where I got paid to do so little, fully funded by taxpayer dollars. The amount of faith I have in such a bloated and wasteful system as government, which tends to take care of its donors over the will of the people, to fix a broken system like health care is less than optimistic.

The real problem is the growing number of hard working Americans who can't afford health care, and it is a genuine problem. Should businesses be expected to provide health care for all of their employees?

I'd assume the majority of business owners would like to be able to provide health care for their employees, but they simply can't afford to. Should government mandate that they have to or else be subjected to fines?

Hell if I know. Do you really expect a writer for a small town alternative weekly who gets paid chump change be pretentious enough to claim I have the answer to this debacle?

I guess we just have to sit back and see how this one plays out.

I'd assume the majority of business owners would like to be able to provide health care for their employees, but they simply can't afford to.

6// December 3, 2009

Second Supper

COMMUNITY

UW-L's 'Christmas Carol' production finds the darkness in a Dickens classic

When it comes to adaptations of the Charles Dickens classic "A Christmas Carol," there has been the good, the bad and the Mister Magoo. Since being published as a novella in 1843, the work has undergone countless interpretations, from film to television and the stage.

According to Mary Leonard, a UWLa Crosse professor and director of the school’s theatrical production of "A Christmas Carol" opening Friday, it’s because the journey of Ebenezer Scrooge still resonates with audiences.

“We all have a little Scrooge in us from time to time,” Leonard said. “People glom onto Scrooge because they see themselves or something they don’t want to become.

It’s not so unrealistic; he’s just trying to get by in life and he sees his past and what he could’ve changed.”

Like another yuletide favorite "It’s a Wonderful Life," "A Christmas Carol," on its road to its message of appreciating life and love of those around us, has some fairly dark pit stops along the way.

“When I was a kid, the ghost of Christmas scared me,” Leonard joked. “Just standing off, silently pointing.”

But it’s that journey from the darkness to fulfillment that Leonard believes makes the arts such a great tool for audiences.

“When we go to the arts,” she explained, “we get to face the dark things then. In the end Scrooge learns; he’s lucky.”

Even though this is her third production of "A Christmas Carol," Leonard says the story hasn’t becoming boring to her in the least.

“I don’t grow tired of the message," she said. "With a new cast each time, I learn something new.”

And the production running at UW-L is no small feat with a cast of 54 actors and actresses, including 12 kids ranging from the ages of 8 through 16.

“There is a lot of positive energy and I have a stage manager that keeps me sane and focused,” Leonard confessed. “I’m impressed and delighted at how hard they all are working.”

When it comes down to the various interpretations of "A Christmas Carol," Leonard’s personal favorite is the 1971 musical version Scrooge starring Albert Finney. For a large bulk of her students, their personal favorite is of a less human variety.

“A lot of them grew up on 'The Muppet Christmas Carol,' ” Leonard laughed.

“A lot of them have the memory of seeing that film.”

Overall, Leonard says she hopes audiences that come to the show see it not as just a classic but something more: “I hope they are truly touched.”

— Jonathan Majak

'Searching for Whitopia' Author: Rich Benjamin Publisher: Hyperion 2009 Miscellaneous: $24.99, 354 pages

When President Obama was elected last year, many Americans sighed with relief. Maybe now we could put racial problems behind us. But Rich Benjamin says nothing could be farther from the truth.

Things are about to change again, in a big way. Within the next 32 years, whites will no longer be the majority in America.

With that in mind, Benjamin decided to study a phenomenon he calls Whitopia: a city or 'burb with an overwhelmingly white population. Whitopia has “ineffable social charisma, a pleasant look and feel” (think Mayberry). According to statistics, many U.S. cities are already “whiter than white” and are becoming whiter. Minorities, it seems, need not apply.

Benjamin, who is black, decided to move into three Whitopia neighborhoods.

In Utah - named one of the safest places in America, he found friendship, Poker Night and an organized push to restrict immigration. Benjamin says “the cozy warmth inside depends on keeping the enemies without.”

In Idaho, Benjamin entered a retreat for a white separatist religious sect. And in Georgia, Benjamin found high-priced homes and panicked residents, afraid their land might revert to blacks whose ancestors’ farms were seized by whites nearly 100 years

ago.

I had a hard time with this book for many reasons.

First, the good news. Benjamin gives his readers much to ponder. “Searching for Whitopia” is thought-provoking and could start much-needed, important dialogue.

But …

Benjamin throws stats, facts, reasoning, cute stories and jaw-dropping tales at his readers at an alarming pace, and then later repeats them. More than once, I caught myself bored and skimming, or reading a sentence multiple times because of content overload.

Benjamin claims “the ‘black-white race divide’ bores” him, but he seems eager to emphasize it. Moreover, he condemns racial comments and overgeneralities, but then makes them himself.

If you want to tackle this book, please do. The subject matter is important enough to take a serious look, but be sure to read it with time, many grains of salt, open eyes and open mind. Otherwise, “Searching for Whitopia” is just an invitation to frustration.

—

Terri Schlichenmeyer

Second Supper

December 3, 2009 // 7

ARTS

Bizarro Masterpiece Theatre

'A Serious Man' (2009)

Film: "Masters of the Universe'" (1987) Director: Gary Goddard Stars: Dolph Lundgren, Frank Langella Writers: David Odell, Stephen Tolkin

Director: Ethan and Joel Coen Cast: Michael Stuhlbarg, Fred Melamed, Sari Lennick Writer: Ethan and Joel Coen

I'm wondering if "A Serious Man" isn't the Coen brothers' most cynical film. Not having experienced their entire catalog, I can't be the one to decide. The film, however amusing, stretches the boundaries of just how tedious watching a movie can be.

And here's the troubling part: "A Serious Man" isn't not a good movie, as verified by its 87 percent approval rating on Rottentomatoes.com. Maybe those who responded favorably to the film have seen it more than once. A part of me wants to rewatch it, but another part of me — the part that almost fell asleep in the theater — is yawning at the thought of sitting through it again. The story, about a hapless Jewish patriarch living in a 1960s Minneapolis suburb, might be the most personal of the Coens' films, but it's also a front-runner for their least accessible, a film that takes the shaggy dog story to irritating new extremes.

That's not to say it isn't without its quirks. "A Serious Man" is particularly wellacted, and its characters — vehement caricatures that they are — appear vibrant with affection and sincerity. Specifically, Michael Stuhlburg's Larry Gopnick, the patriarch who encounters new spirit-deflating predicaments (his wife leaves him for his best friend, a student tries to bribe him for a better grade and his children sneak money

from his wallet, etc.) seemingly on a daily basis, shines with a sort of hopeless affinity. His search for meaning leads him to encounter characters whose eccentricities scream textbook Coen, characters whose jocular peculiarities provide momentary distractions from the film's lack of energy and momentum.

Characters alone, with their slick dialog and well-executed comedic timing, cannot make this film interesting. There's a reason why this, a film by multiple-Oscar winners, hasn't yet received a wide release, and the reason is: it's bloody boring. Perhaps the movie's most exciting moment is a 10-minute opening scene not related to the rest of the movie. "A Serious Man" carries enough philosophical weight (or faux philosophical weight, depending on your interpretation) to alienate mainstream audiences. Film students may admire it, philosophy students may engage it, but everyone else will probably be left scratching their heads, especially once the film reaches its aggravating climax. Some people go to the movies to be entertained, some go to think, but rarely does anyone go specifically to be jerked around.

— Nick Cabreza

Few figures in film are as divisive as Menahem Golan, a producer/director/writer whose career spans over 40 years. While generally regarded within the Israeli film community as a visionary who produced the worldwide smash "Eskimo Limon," he is also equally reviled for setting the comic book film back 10 years and creating a number of not so swell films on his own. Do you remember the "Captain America" film?

Do you want to remember "Superman IV"?

Would you have wanted to see a Spider-Man film set in the '80s? Didn’t think so. While the majority of his crimes came through his roles as producer, his greatest infamies took shape when he directed films. If seeing Chuck Norris scramble around in "Delta Force" made you weep, or if you’re like my mother and were reduced to howls of laughter upon watching Sylvester Stallone turn his hat backwards for dramatic armwrestling effect in "Over the Top," you now know who to blame. And let us not forget "The Apple," the greatest disco rendition of the Book of Genesis, the greatest deus ex machina on film — hell, the greatest musical of all time!

All of this should prepare a viewer for what to expect when Golan takes on HeMan. First, Golan slapped a blond mullet on Dolph Lundgren and made him Stal-

My Reality?

lone around with a huge sword. Second, he canned almost all of the classic cartoon characters and replaced them with midgets and lizardmen. Third, the Eternians end up on Earth, where they get to hang out with Courtney Cox and the bald principal from "Back to the Future." Yeah, that dread? Totally justified. Yet what should on paper be a wretched franchise grab is glorious, because it confirms what I’ve always believed.

Skeletor is the greatest fictional character of all time.

“Tell me about the loneliness of good, He-Man. Is it equal to the loneliness of evil?”

Decades before he played Richard Nixon and achieved his most recognizable success, Frank Langella was brought in to play He-Man’s villain and save this film. He did. No longer was Skeletor a delightfully bumbling, inept warlord who failed to conquer Eternia with sitcom clockwork. Langella turned the Lord of Snake Mountain into a brooding, Shakespearean megalomaniac on the cusp of total victory. He delivers wide-eyed monologues about destiny, overwhelms his opposition and, most importantly, he blasts Courtney Cox. My hero.

— Brett Emerson

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8// December 3, 2009

Second Supper

MUSIC

Medium: Album Stimulus: The Cinematics "Love and Terror" Anno: 2009

er’s n g i s De Drugs The

New Order by way of the Killers is the star by which the Cinematics steer. As derivative as the formula may be, in this case it makes for a great album.

Love and Terror opens with its two best tracks, “All These Things” giving way to “She Talks to the Trees.” The former bears the most obvious New Order stamp, marching through with new wave shuffle and droning, ominous guitars. The latter is a higher tempo affair, though no more upbeat as the guitars buzz amidst sprays of hi-hat and the throaty dares of Scott Rinning.

Occasionally, Rinning will make a drastic switch away from the usual gloom. This comes in more major-keyed middle songs such as “New Mexico” and “Wish (When the Banks Collapse),” where his Bernard Sumner/Brandon Flowers croon gives way to happy wails reminiscent of Alex Ebert of Ima Robot. These occasional shifts in tone

Director: Diane Breeser Music Director: Mary Blaha-DeBoer Choreographer: Anna Smerud Costume Design: Mandy Parmeter and Kerry Miller Set Design: Teena Sauvola Lighting/Sound Design: Dillon McArdle Props: Bonnie Jo Bratina Stage Manager: Megan Pence

Pe r fo r

m a n ce

Thanks to our season sponsors:

s:

are surprising and welcome additions that swerve the album away from complete typecasting.

This isn’t to say that the typecasting that will inevitably follow this album is any indication of inferior work. The B-side stretch of Love and Terror continues the dark dance theme advanced by the opening, and despite these songs’ more subdued qualities they bounce and carry the album along as well as their shinier brothers. Of note are the methodical “Hospital Bills," followed by the skittering “Moving to Berlin."

The ultimate lesson that arises from Love and Terror is that a musician can sound strikingly similar to another, yet still create compelling music. The trick, it seems, lies in choosing what to emulate. In this, the Cinematics have chosen wisely in playing their influences, and the result is something equally bleak and dazzling.

Dec. 11–13 & 17–20, 2009 Call for tickets! 784-9292

Box Office (608) 784-9292 * Hours 11 am to 5 pm Monday–Friday * 118 5th Avenue North, La Crosse

Ever had the feeling that everyone else goes QUACK when you go HONK? www.lacrossecommunitytheatre.org

Ticket prices & showtimes: All shows: Adults $22; Students and military $10 With the purchase of two adult tickets or use of two season passes, tickets for students 12 and under are $5, any performance, no limit.

Dec. 11–12 & 17–19 at 7:30 pm, Sundays, Dec. 13 & 20 at 2:00 pm

Second Supper

MUSIC

December 3, 2009 // 9

Brahman Shaman looks past Rearview Mirror, goes solo

By Brett Emerson

The man behind local folk act Brahman Shaman is no stranger to the La Crosse music scene. “I’ve been playing music for about 14 or 15 years,” said Matt Olson in describing his credentials. “I started off playing guitar in a rock back, Rearview Mirror, and did that for about 10 years. We had a deal with a small label in New York, toured around doing that. I lived in the Cities for a few years, then eventually moved back to La Crosse. I wasn’t doing all that much music, but I was always writing and recording stuff.”

Brahman Shaman took root in Olson’s studio work, which eventually expanded from recordings into a functioning live act.

Though by his estimate Brahman Shaman’s performance schedule is sparse, Olson views the physical reality and reaction of a crowd as something that enhances his studio work.

“The main reason I play is to help with the writing process. Otherwise, I’d be playing more, but it’s just more for fun, to try the songs out and keep up my performance chops.”

Parallel to his one-man approach to recording, Olson tends to play these shows by himself, but the rule is not absolute. At its limit, Brahman Shaman has accommodated a five-piece band, but more often the act consists of Olson plus a drummer, adding a bassist at the most.

“Usually if there are people available I’ll try to add drums at least, because I think it makes it more interesting to watch. Then you’re not just watching a guy play guitar for 45 minutes.”

Despite the occasional foray into the outside world, Brahman Shaman’s work often remains at home, and Olson doesn’t see a problem with that. “Right now it’s more focused on the studio. I’m doing some studio stuff with some other people as well, and I get a big kick out of that. If any opportunity (to perform) came up, I’d take it, but right now it runs about one or two shows per month. Now, I just don’t like to be gone all that much.”

This pace comes as a marked slowdown for the performer, who claims to have averaged about 150 shows per year while playing with Rearview Mirror. When asked whether he sees Brahman Shaman as a bankable career, Olson’s response is direct.

“I’m not making any money at it. I tried to make money for 10 years with Rearview Mirror, and it worked out all right. Now I’m married and have house payments. Until I make quite a bit more money playing music I still need a day job.”

Despite this, Olson intends to stay in the game to write and record. Brahman Shaman’s music is entirely performed and produced by Olson, who operates in what he refers to as “a little ghost in my house studio.” A related avenue that he has looked

©2009 Treasure Island Resort & Casino

brett.emerson@secondsupper.com

At A Glance

WHAT: Concert featuring Brahman Shaman, Nick Shattuck, Beauford Firebeard and Hyphon WHEN: Friday, Dec. 4, beginning at 8 p.m.

WHERE: The Root Note, 115 4th Street S. COST: Free into lies in working with other local musicians. Some of his work outside of Brahman Shaman includes collaborations and productions with Hyphon and Michelle Lynn.

Olson is also working on a project with his old singer from Rearview Mirror titled Objective Subject, as well as recording Nick Shattuck’s debut album and providing the occasional drums for his live performances, including one such show this Friday at the Root Note.

Olson’s opinion of the local music scene is positive, full of crossbreeding ideas and open-minded performers. In his capacity as Brahman Shaman and outside of it, he continues to seek any opportunities to contribute to it and occasionally spark new ideas. “I’d like to start giving more lessons, to convince people who don’t think they can play an instrument or write a song to have an opportunity to do that. It enriches your life quite a bit.”

418 Lang Dr. La Crosse

608-785-0305

Fridays

$11 Cuts Across From Menards www.hairstation.info

10// December 3, 2009

Second Supper

MUSIC

Advertising rates that small businesses can afford

just a roadie away Eau Claire population

61,704

MARk JOSEPH PROJECT // Dec. 6 The Mousetrap • Free HEATBOX // Dec. 9 The Mousetrap • $5 PAT MCCuRDy // Dec. 12 The Mousetrap • $5 DOWN lO // Dec. 19 The Mousetrap • $5 lEO kOTTkE, lEON REDBONE // Jan. 27 State Theater • $30

Rochester population

85,806

TONiC SOl-fA // Dec.12 Mayo Civic Center• $24.50

MANNHEiM STEAMROllER // Dec. 19 Mayo Civic Center• $42.50

THE OAk RiDgE BOyS // Dec. 21 Mayo Civic Center• $29.50

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gEORgE WiNSTON // Dec. 21-22 Crossings At Carnegie • $35

Dubuque population

89,143

DuBuQuE SyMPHONy ORCHESTRA // Dec. 4-6 Five Flags Civic Center• $10

Elf lETTuCE // Dec.5 The Busted Lift • $5

JON WAyNE AND THE PAiN // Dec. 1 180 Main• $5

DAviD AllAN COE // Jan. 8 Diamond Jo Casino • $10

Second Supper

December 3, 2009 // 11

MUSIC

music directory // December 3 to December 10 thursday,

December 3

monday,

Popcorn Tavern // 308 4th St. S The Songs For • 10 p.m.

Popcorn Tavern // 308 S. 4th St. Shawn's Open Jam • 10 p.m.

The Starlite Lounge // 222 Pearl St. Kies & Kompanie • 5 p.m.

The Arterial // 1003 So. 16th St. Quenten Brown, Travis Oppelt and Garrett Gilbertson • 5 p.m.

Nighthawks Tap // 401 S. Third St. Dave Orr's Damn Jam • 10p.m.

tHE ROOT NOTE // 115 4th St. S. Laura Meyer • 8:30 p.m

SSE Music // 2609 George St. Jimmy Chamberlin drum clinic • 7 p.m.

tuesday,

tHE ROOT NOTE // 115 4th St. S. Open Mic • 7 p.m.

Del's Bar // 229 3rd St. Erock • 10 p.m. the cellar (uw-l) // 1741 State St. Jason LeVasseur • 7 p.m

Friday,

December 4

Popcorn Tavern // 308 S. 4th St. Shoeless Revolution with The Mark Joseph Project • 10 p.m.

Pearl Street Brewery // 1401 St Andrew St.

Cheeba (Cheech and Chubba) • 4 p.m.

Nighthawks Tap // 401 S. Third St. Sh*tty • 10 p.m.

JB's Speakeasy // 717 Rose St. The Goondas with Red Daughters • 10 p.m.

The Waterfront Tavern // 328 Front St. Chris Bucheit with Steve Meger • 8 p.m. tHE ROOT NOTE // 115 4th St. S. Brahman Shaman, Nick Shattuck, Hyphon, Beauford Firebeard • 8 p.m. freight house // 107 Vine St. Muddy Flats and the Hepcats • 8 p.m.

The warehouse // 328 Pearl St. A Monument for a Memory, Before We Fall, Bedlam, Behind These Eyes • 6:30 p.m..

December 7

The Popcorn Tavern is often knocked as merely a den of jambands, but this Thursday evening it will accoustic -indie rock that stereotype right out the building when it hosts endearing local group The Songs For. Students of pop harmonies with influences like Elliot Smith and Belle and Sebastion, this is a show that could open some eyes.

Ardie's // 400 Lang Drive Joe & Shay Cody • 8 p.m.

Nighthawks Tap // 401 S. Third St. B.L.U.E.S. • 10 p.m.

neuie's Varsity Club // 1920 Ward Ave. Highway 16 • 8 p.m..

Howie's // 1128 La Crosse St. Monkey Wrench • 10 p.m.

Onalaska Am. Legion // 731 Sand Lake Rd.

The Arterial // 1003 So. 16th St. Paxico • 9:30 p.m.

The Shufflin' Duprees • 7:30 p.m.

Stoney Creek Inn // 3060 S. Kinney Coulee

String Ties • 7:30 p.m.

tHE ROOT NOTE // 115 4th St. S. Jeff Mitchell and The Soviet Onion • 8:30 p.m.

Pump House //119 King St. Old School Variety Show • 7:30 p.m.

freight house // 107 Vine St. Muddy Flats and the Hepcats • 8 p.m

Varsity Club // 1920 Ward Ave. Highway 16 • 9 p.m.

tHE ROOT NOTE // 115 4th St. S. Jeff Mitchell and The Soviet Onion • 8:30 p.m.

saturday,

December 5

Moose Club // 1932 Ward Ave. Good Tymes & The Stingrays • 7 p.m

Popcorn Tavern // 308 S. 4th St. Burnt Brownies • 10 p.m.

The Starlite Lounge // 222 Pearl St. Kies & Kompanie • 5 p.m.

The Joint // 324 Jay St. SOMA • 10 p.m.

sunday,

December 6

Wrath of the Girth, Poney, Mad Minute • 10 p.m.

Popcorn Tavern // 308 4th St. S The Sunday Blend • 10:00 p.m.

The Waterfront Tavern // 328 Front St. Swing, Inc. • 8 p.m.

Viterbo main theater // 900 Viterbo Dr. Messiah • 2 p.m.

JB's Speakeasy // 717 Rose St.

December 8

Popcorn Tavern // 308 S. 4th St. Paulie • 10 p.m.

wednesday,

December 9

Popcorn Tavern // 308 4th St S Mitch's Open Jam • 10 p.m.

Nighthawks Tap // 401 S. Third St. Soma• 10 p.m.

Del's Bar // 229 3rd St. Dave Orr • 9 p.m.

The Recovery Room // 901 S. Seventh St. Dox Phonic Open Jam • 10 p.m.

thursday,

December 10

Popcorn Tavern // 308 4th St S Raw Brownies • 10 p.m.

JB's Speakeasy // 717 Rose St. The Steepwater Band • 10 p.m.

Del's Bar // 229 3rd St. Nick Shattuk •9 p.m.

The Starlite Lounge // 222 Pearl St. Kies & Kompanie • 5 p.m.

Nighthawks Tap // 401 S. Third St. Dave Orr's Jam • 10p.m.

12// December 3, 2009

Second Supper

MUSIC

FRIDAY COMEDY

Oh hi, right now I'm listening to the album "Life On Earth" by Tiny Vipers, but that's not important right not. Instead I want to be a drama queen for a sec. So, there is this woman Veronica in New York who runs this tiny record label that re-releases these uber obscure bands from the early '80s on limited edition vinyl. I dig her stuff, so a couple years ago I got in touch and interviewed her for this music Web site I occasionally write for. I have a friend Crystal who lives in Los Angeles that I'm in touch with on just about a daily basis. She and I used to do radio together in Oregon, and we both kinda geek out about music in a big way. I knew she would be into the stuff on Veronica's label, as would the crowd she rolls with, so I turned her on to it. Crystal has this bestie Violet that she hangs out with all the time. Violet is married to this guy Chris who is better known to the masses by his DJ name, Peanut Butter Wolf. He runs this hip-hop record label Stones Throw Records that's a pretty big deal for hip-hop heads. Crystal passed along the music on Veronica's label to Chris. He then contacted Veronica, and will be releasing a compilation of her music on Stones Throw in January. And do I get a finder's fee, or even a shout out on the record sleeve? Nope, nothing. Pffft. So, Tiny Vipers, she is this lady from Seattle who makes music that reminds me of Cat Power, all sad and slow. It's on my best of 2009 list of singer songwriters/folky/ Americana/indie pop aka soft stuff. Others

on that list (based simply off of how many times it says I've played them on my iTunes, not if they are my actual favorites, because making that list was driving me nuts) include: Mount Eerie's "Wind's Poem," Grizzly Bear's "Veckatimest," Woods' "Songs of Shame," Jim O'Rourke's "The Visitor," Neko Case's "Middle Cyclone," The Antlers' "Hospice," Califone's "All My Friends Are Funeral Singers," Akron/Family's "Set 'Em Wild, Set 'Em Free," The Mountain Goats' "The Life of the World to Come," Kurt Vile's "God Is Saying This To You" and "Childish Prodigy," Bill Callahan's "Sometimes I Wish We Were An Eagle," Antony and the Johnsons' "The Crying Light," James Blackshaw's "The Glass Bead Game," Camera Obscura's "My Maudlin Career," Andrew Bird's "Noble Beast," Jeremy Jay's "Slow Dance," The Pains of Being Pure at Heart's "The Pains of Being Pure at Heart," Megafaun's "Gather, Form and Fly," Sufjan Stevens' "The BQE," Cass McCombs' "Catacombs," Micachu and the Shapes' "Jewellery," David Sylvian's "Manafon," Timber Timbre's "Timber Timbre," Bowerbirds' "Upper Air," Samantha Crain's "Songs in the Night," The Drum's "Summertime!," Casiotone for the Painfully Alone's "Advance Base Battery Life," Rodrigo y Gabriela's "11:11" and Heartless Bastards' "The Mountain."

That oughta be enough for now, brah.

— Shuggypop Jackson

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Second Supper

YOUR GUIDE TO CONSUMPTION

Drink Specials Editor's Note: Food and Drink Specials is a free listing for Second Supper’s regular advertisers and $25 per week for others. For information, call (608) 782-7001.

Sunday

BARREL INN $2.25 for mini pitcher CHUCK'S All day everyday: $1 Doctor, $2 Silos $3 pitchers, $1.75 rails EAGLE’S NEST Open to close: $2 U “Call” it HOWIE’S Happy hour 4 to 9 p.m.; 9 p.m. to close: Night Before Class - $3 pitchers of the beast IRISH HILLS Happy Hour 4 to 7 p.m. daily JB’S SPEAKEASY $1.75 domestic bottles PETTIBONE BOAT CLUB $1 off fried chicken PLAYERS Price by Dice RINGSIDE closed SCHMIDTY’S $6.95 lunch buffet $9.95 breakfast buffet 10 a.m. to 2 p.m.

SLOOPY'S ALMA MATER $11 buckets of beers (pregame-close), taco specials during game THE JOINT $2 domestics and rails, 4 to 8 p.m., Shots of Doctor $1 all day, everyday THE HELM All day (everyday!) specials $1.25 Old Style Light, $1.50 LAX Lager/ Light, $1 shots of Dr. THE LIBRARY Sunday Fun Day - Wristband Night TOP SHOTS $5 Pitchers/$2 bottles of Miller products (11-4pm) $2 Corona Bottles, $2 Kilo Kai Mixers , $3 Bloodys (7-1AM) TRAIN STATION BBQ Ask for great eats

Monday

BARREL INN Buck burgers BROTHERS $2.50 Blatz vs. Old Style pitchers CHUCK’S Monday-Friday: Happy Hour 2 to 6 p.m., 50 cents off everything but the daily special Guys’ Nite Out: $1.50 silos EAGLE’S NEST 7 p.m. to close: $1.50 domestic pints, $1.50 rails HOWIE’S 9 p.m. to close: $3.50 domestic pitchers JB’S SPEAKEASY $1.75 domestic bottles PETTIBONE BOAT CLUB Kids eat free with adult PLAYERS Happy Hour all night long, two-for-one RINGSIDE Closed SCHMIDTY’S BBQ sandwich SLOOPY'S ALMA MATER $2 can beer (2-6 p.m.) $11 buckets of beers (6-close) SPORTS NUT Buck Burgers THE CAVALIER Martini Ladies’ Night, James Martini: vodka, triple sec, orange juice THE JOINT $2 domestics and rails, 4 to 8 p.m., Shots of Doctor $1 TOP SHOTS $1.75 Miller/Bud Light Taps, $2.25 MIcro/Craft Taps, $2.50 Cherry Bombs (7-1AM)

Tuesday

BARREL INN Bucket Night, six beers for $9

BROTHERS Wristband night CHUCK’S 50-cent taps domestic, $3 pitchers COCONUT JOE’S $2 Tuesdays, including $2 bottles, import taps, beer pong, apps, single shot-mixers, featured shots, 50-cent taps EAGLE’S NEST 7 p.m. to close: $1.50 domestic pints, $1.50 rails HOWIE’S 9 p.m. to close: $1 rails, $2.50 pitchers, beer pong IRISH HILLS $2 domestic cans JB’S SPEAKEASY $1.75 domestic bottles PETTIBONE BOAT CLUB 2 for 1 burger night PLAYERS Karaoke @ 10 p.m., 2-4-1 Happy Hour 5 to 10 p.m., all you can drink rail mixers @ 10 p.m.

RINGSIDE Open 4-9 SCHMIDTY’S Tacos SLOOPY'S ALMA MATER $2 can beer (2-6 p.m.) 12" pizza: $8.99 up to 5 toppings (4-close) SPORTS NUT Tacos $1.25 THE JOINT $2 domestics and rails, 4 to 8 p.m., Shots of Doctor $1 THE LIBRARY $1 domestic taps and rails, one-half price Tequila TOP SHOTS $1.75 Rails, $1.50 Domestic Taps, $3.50 Jager Bombs (7-1AM) TRAIN STATION BBQ 11 a.m. to 3 p.m., extra side with sandwich; 4 to 9 p.m., $1 off rib dinner

Wednesday

BARREL INN $6 all you can drink taps and rails, 8 to midnight BROTHERS 10-cent wings, $1 Miller High Life bottles, $1.50 rail mixers CHUCK’S $2 Pearl Street Brewery beers COCONUT JOE’S $1.25 for 1 pound of wings, $1 PBR/PBR Light bottles, $1.50 Rolling Rock, $2 jumbo rail mixers, $2.25 Bud Lights, $1 shot of the week EAGLE’S NEST 7 p.m. to close: $1.50 domestic pints, $2 craft pints, $1.50 rails HOWIE’S $5 all you can drink JB’S SPEAKEASY Happy Hour 5 to 7 p.m.

LEGEND’S $1 shot of the week, $4 domestic pitchers, $1.25 1 pound of wings PETTIBONE BOAT CLUB $6.99 AUCE pasta PLAYERS Karaoke @ 10 p.m., 2-4-1 Happy Hour 5 to 10 p.m., $1 Pabst cans, Dr. shots @ 10 p.m.

RINGSIDE $6.50 double cheeseburger SCHMIDTY’S Chili dogs SLOOPY'S ALMA MATER Wings, Wings, Wings... $2 off 14: pizza, $2 can beer (2-6 p.m.)

SPORTS NUT 15-cent wings THE CAVALIER $1.50 taps 6 to 8 p.m.

THE JOINT $2 domestics and rails, 4 to 8 p.m., Shots of Doctor $1 THE LIBRARY Karaoke, $2 double rails & all bottles TOP SHOTS $2 domestic bottles, $2.50 Skyy/Absolut mixers, $2 Dr. shots (7-1am)

TRAIN STATION BBQ Special varies

CONTINUED ON PAGE 14

BEER

Review

December 3, 2009 // 13

Finnegans Irish Amber Finnegans Inc. St. Paul, Minnesota

We’re officially in the holiday season now, and for beer drinkers worldwide it’s a time to give back. There are a few ways to do this, I suppose. You could spare some change for the guy on the corner, host a charity gala with microbrew samples, invest in a plot of organically grown hops or donate the proceeds from recycled cans and bottles. But what if you just wanted to drink? Jacquie Berglund — co-founder, president and the only full-time employee of Finnegans Inc. — has a delicious answer for you. Buy a pint or bottle of Finnegans Irish Amber and 100 percent of the profits will go to programs fighting poverty in the upper Midwest. Since coming out of the red in 2003 (four years after its founding), Finnegans has donated more than $130,000 to community-based charities.

The company keeps overhead low by relying almost entirely on volunteers — and that includes the Summit Brewing Company, which brews Irish Amber pro bono. For the most part, Finnegans sticks close to Minnesota, but I just found a six-pack at the People’s Food Co-op, and it’s quite the fresh-tasting way to spread cheer.

In a novel nod to the Irish but a shocking assault to beer snobs, Finnegans Irish Amber comes fortified with potatoes. Ac-

cordingly (I guess; I’ve never seen a potato Appearance: 3 ale before), it pours a nearly transparent yelAroma: 5 low color with some carbonation bubbles Taste: 6 and a lightly laced head. The aroma is Mouthfeel: 5 malty with hints of lemongrass, but only a Drinkability: 10 deep whiff reveals any potato smell. As befitting a beer you can Total: 29 see through, the first sip comes on light and watery with a hint of starchiness at the front of the tongue. The potato flavor gets stronger as it swirls about the mouth, culminating in an oddly airy aftertaste that evokes stale Utz. Other than that, there’s not much here, certainly nothing like an amber ale — but boy is it easy to drink! Seriously, I hardly even notice I’m consuming a beverage, but you shouldn’t fault a charity beer for wanting to be sipped by people of all palettes. So what if I could tip back 30 of these at a softball game. I just love to give back.

— Adam Bissen

CONSUMPTION

14// December 3, 2009

"Bank Job" You're getting colder.

Drink Specials

CONTINUED FROM PAGE 13

Thursday

BARREL INN 25-cent wings, $1 shots of Doctor BROTHERS Wristband night, $1 shots with wristband $2.50 SoCo and Jack CHUCK’S Ladies’ Nite Out: $1.50 rail mixers, $2.50 X bombs COCONUT JOE’S Happy Hour 7 to 9 p.m.: $2 for all single shot mixers and all beers.

Wristband Night: $5 college I.D., $9 general public EAGLE’S NEST 7 p.m. to close: $1.50 domestic pints, $2 craft pints, $1.50 rails HOWIE’S 9 p.m. to close: $1.25 rails, $1.75 bottles/cans IRISH HILLS $14.95 steak and golf JB’S SPEAKEASY Happy Hour 5 to 7 p.m.

THE CAVALIER All Mojitos $5 THE JOINT $2 domestics and rails, 4 to 8 p.m., Shots of Doctor $1 LEGEND’S After comedy: Pint Night - $1 pints of rail mixers and domestic taps, $2 pints of call mixers and import taps, $3 pints of top-shelf mixers PETTIBONE BOAT CLUB BBQ night, $1 off PLAYERS 2-4-1 Happy Hour 5 to 10 p.m., $2 Captain mixers, $1.75 domestic beer, $1.50 rails, $1 Pabst cans @ 10 p.m.

RALPH’S Southwest chicken pita $5 RINGSIDE Southwest chicken pita SCHMIDTY’S Tacos SLOOPY'S ALMA MATER Ladies night, 2 for 1 drinks (6-close), $2 can beer (2-6 p.m.)

SPORTS NUT $8.99 12-ounce T-bone THE HELM $1 Vodka Drinks, $1.00 12 oz Dom. Taps, $1.25 12 oz prem. Taps, $3 Orange Bombs THE LIBRARY $1 kamikaze and red headed sluts TOP SHOTS 5 Domestic Bottles for $10, $5 Micro/Import Bottles $11.50, $7 Micro/Craft Pitchers (7-1AM) TRAIN STATION BBQ 11 a.m. to 3 p.m., Barn burner $7.95; 4 to 9 p.m., Hobo dinner (serves two) $30.95

Friday

BARREL INN

Classifieds Bed: Queen Pillowtop Mattress Set New in plastic $165 Full Sized $135 King Sized $265, Can Deliver 608399-4494 Help Wanted: Second Supper needs a reliable independent contractor to serve as a sales account representative. Hours are flexible but must be available at least 16 hours per week, be outgoing and able to meet weekly deadlines. Call Roger at (608) 782-7001. Pay is commission only.

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$4.50 domestic pitchers BROTHERS $2 domestic beer, taps, & rails (5-8 p.m.)

CHUCK’S After-Class $3 Pitchers, $1.75 Rails COCONUT JOE’S Happy Hour 7 to 9 p.m.: $2 for all single-shot mixers and all beers, $2.50 jumbo Captain Morgan mixers, $2.50 jumbo Bacardi mixers (all flavors), $3 Jagerbombs EAGLE’S NEST 3 to 9 p.m.: two-for-one domestic bottles and rail drinks HOWIE’S 9 p.m. to close: $2 Captain mixers, $2 bottles/cans, $3 Jager bombs JB’S SPEAKEASY Happy Hour 5 to 7 p.m.

LEGEND’S $3 jumbo Svedka mixers, $2.50 Corona bottles, $2.50 Cuervo shots PETTIBONE BOAT CLUB Pettibone Fish Fry PLAYERS 2-4-1 Happy Hour 3 to 9 p.m.

RINGSIDE $5 chicken salad on rye w/ lettuve, tomato and onion SCHMIDTY’S Fish sandwich SLOOPY'S ALMA MATER Friday Fish, $2 can beer (2-6 p.m.)

THE JOINT $2 domestics and rails, 4 to 8 p.m., Shots of Doctor $1 THE LIBRARY $2 taps and mixers (5-9 p.m.)

TOP SHOTS $2.00 Captain Mixers, $2.00 Long Island Mixers, $3.00 Effen Vodka Mixers (7-1AM) TRAIN STATION BBQ 11 a.m. to 3 p.m., Chicken on fire $7.95; 4 to 9 p.m., Bones and briskets $13.95

Saturday

BARREL INN $10 pitcher and pizza BROTHERS 2 for 1 bloody marys, screwdrivers, domestic taps CHUCK’S 12 to 3 p.m.: Buy one, get one domestic beer; Holmen Meat Locker jerky raffle COCONUT JOE’S Happy Hour 7 to 9 p.m.: $2 for all single-shot mixers and all beers, $2.50 jumbo Captain Morgan mixers, $2.50 jumbo Bacardi mixers (all flavors), $3 Jagerbombs EAGLE’S NEST Open to close: $2 U “Call” it HOWIE’S 9 p.m. to close: $2 Bacardi mixers, $2 domestic pints, $1.50 shots blackberry brandy IRISH HILLS $14.95 steak and golf JB’S SPEAKEASY Happy Hour 5 to 7 p.m.

THE JOINT $2 domestics and rails, 4 to 8 p.m., Shots of Doctor $1 LEGEND’S $3 jumbo Svedka mixers, $2 Jonestown shots PETTIBONE BOAT CLUB Prime riv PLAYERS 2-4-1 Happy Hour 3 to 8 p.m.

RINGSIDE $1 off wild wings, $1 off philly steak and cheese SLOOPY'S ALMA MATER $11 buckets for college football, 2 for 1 pints/pitches w/ student ID over 21 SPORTS NUT 15-cent wings THE LIBRARY 2 for 1 bloody marys, screwdrivers, domestic taps TOP SHOTS $5 Miller/Bud Light Pitchers, $2.25 Leinies Bottles (7-1AM)TRAIN STATION BBQ One-half chicken three bones $12.95

Second Supper

By Matt Jones Across 1 Leon Uris novel "___ 18" 5 Enter 9 Uses as a source 14 Shape of some mirrors 15 It now includes Lat. and Lith.

16 Muhammad Ali's daughter 17 Macho way to say "dandruff"?

19 How bad grades are sometimes written 20 Jackson or Johnson 21 Category for everything else: abbr.

23 Night before 24 They may get stroked 26 Drying-out stage 28 Watch chain 31 "Hedwig and the Angry ___" 33 Wine refused in "Sideways" 36 "He's a complicated man/but no one understands him/but his woman" 38 Shankar on the sitar 40 "Slithy" "Jabberwocky" creature 41 Like Shaquille O'Neal 42 Rocky and Bullwinkle's nemesis 43 Graceful swimmer 44 Airport near Paris 45 2007 NBA Draft #1 pick Greg 46 He voices Shrek 47 Currency replaced by the euro 49 Musician descended from Herman Mel-

ville (hence the name) 51 "Marble" deli loaf 52 Perot, formally 54 Exhaled response 56 Blood-type system 58 Ticket leftover 60 Childbirth assistants 64 Fictional typing tutor Beacon 66 What somehow happens to the vegetables in your TV dinner?

68 Beyond husky 69 Muppet with his pet fish Dorothy 70 Bullring yell 71 Cobb, for one 72 "Liquid sunshine" 73 Word that can precede either word in

Answers to Issue 189's

"You Want Fries with That?"

17- and 66-across and 11- and 30-down Down 1 N.Y.C. gallery 2 "One Day in the Life of ___ Denisovich" 3 Arrive at the airport 4 Woodard of "Desperate Housewives" 5 Chew, as with a rawhide bone 6 "Charter" tree 7 Prop, really 8 Polite refusal 9 "Think outside the box," for instance 10 James Bond creator Fleming 11 That sharp nail in the road you just ran over?

12 Abbr. on a mountain sign 13 "No Ordinary Love" singer 18 For real 22 Mid-tournament rounds 25 Atlantic catch 27 Bohemian 28 Camera setting 29 Frequent site for flight layovers 30 Tool used to clean out the pits in kiddie playlands?

32 Group of wives 34 Egg producer

35 Edgy 37 It may get jammed under your windshield wiper 39 Italian restaurant selections 42 Be a braggart 46 "___, it's full of stars!" ("2001" line) 48 Threw out 50 Tries for, in an auction 53 Awesome 55 Smarts 56 "Good Times" actor John 57 The Who's "___ O'Riley" 59 Horror actor Lugosi 61 Mane man?

62 Fuzzy style 63 Put away your carry-ons 65 "Love ___ Battlefield" (Pat Benatar) 67 "___ dreaming?" ©2009 Jonesin' Crosswords (editor@jonesincrosswords.com) For answers to this puzzle, call: 1-900226-2800, 99 cents per minute. Must be 18+. Or to bill to your credit card, call: 1-800-655-6548. Reference puzzle #0434.

We're hiring!

• Advertising account representative • Writers to review arts performances, shows Call (608) 782-7001 and ask for Roger or e-mail roger.bartel@secondsupper.com

Second Supper

December 3, 2009 // 15

THE LAST WORD

The Spooky Truth

By Stephanie Schultz stephanie.schultz@secondsupper.com In January 2007 I moved from Racine to La Crosse to be with someone I met from the Internet. Prior to this, I had met an assortment of people from all kinds of sites — an alternative lifestyle networking site, a comedy forum, chat rooms ... all that jazz.

Heck, my ex-fiancé and I developed our relationship via e-mail some seven years ago.

I'd say most of the people I met were flippin' awesome people, and the others were just a touch tetched.

When the aforementioned relationship went sour, it put me off having a live-in

(or any kind of) boyfriend for quite some time. I returned to the same site where the ex and I had started our tumultuous affair — I'd abandoned it since moving out here without a reliable Internet connection. Feeling a little down about my long bout of unemployment as well as living alone for the first time, I decided to go back for a chucklefest when I stumbled upon an intriguing contest: Goon Love Is The Best Love. It was a mandatory dating challenge comprised of 50 guys and 50 girls — well, hypothetically. The 50 guy spots were snatched up in a mere four minutes, while it took nearly two weeks to get a grand total of 38 girls, myself being one of the last to register. The joke is that most members of the forum are creepy antisocial goons capable of stalkery and axe murderin', so all participants had to write and sign a waiver stating they understood going on a date with an Internet person could lead to falling victim to a Carl Tanzler-style doom.

The challenge? The contenders (“Lonelies” and their gentlegoon callers) could win the ultimate prize of a $20 gift card to Condomania.com by having the most successful date. Beneath that were a series of various types of upgrades for things like being stood up, having the worst date, or having the most creative photo of the lucky couple together. Non-candidates could give the best or worst advice in the threads and be upgraded or banned. The contest encompassed 45 days, and 48 hours after each date, the Lonely and her caller

were required to post a 500-word date report.

To be honest, the only official date I'd been on was with a comic book store owner, so if I could survive that and actually have a good time, I figured this would be a cakewalk. Not typically one to toot my own horn, I was expecting several different gentleman to call upon me. Due to La Crosse having no larger surrounding cities within a reasonable radius (the other two Wisconsinites to register were in Madison), I had a handful of fawning geeks, but none willing to travel such a distance for a potential trainwreck of a date.

About two weeks into the contest with no date on the horizon, I came up with the idea to offer to pay for a night at the motel I can see from my living room. The next day, I was called upon by a trilingual engineering student in Platteville wanting a fun and fancy-free time with a seemingly interesting person. When my offer expired 72 hours later, I accepted his date request and began setting up a crazy amount of fun things to do. The first thing we did together was having our palms read (a first for both of us!) by the Psychic Gina. She was pretty spot-on with me, but my companion felt his reading was rather vague. We hit up Starlite for live jazz, Ringside's comedy, drank The Cavalier's mind-blowing mojitos, and ended at Popcorn before calling it a night. We had our first kiss on the walk home, and since that moment we've never been happier.

Everybody following the contest seemed surprised at how well the majority of the dates went; only a few were miserable for both parties. The international contestants seemed to be the most creative with the style of their dates. One poor Lonely was the butt-end of a prank consisting of a traveling dong-hat salesman, a stolen bicycle and her date being kidnapped, while another female Lonely's picnic was rudely interrupted and she watched her Pikachucostume-wearing date battle off with a Snorlax and a Robot. Two other participants agreed to get married on their first date.

This caused a total uproar among the readers, who later found out that it was merely a joke. And only one goon disappeared during the course of events, leaving two gentlemen heartbroken in her wake (to this day nobody knows what happened to her).

There has been nobody/couple deemed winner as of yet, but in my guy's and my eyes, we've already won. I had such apprehensions about relationships since my last one that I'd forgotten the most important thing: Enjoy it while it lasts. Are we still going to be together in five years?

I don't know, but for now he's everything I could've ever wanted. We're a horrible cliché, but he's the dork of my dreams, and I guess the moral of this rambling tale is to not give up! Keep an open mind (and low expectations) when meeting a participant of the World Wide Web. Who knows? You could end up falling in love with an Internet stranger.

Downtown La Crosse, above fayzes - 782-6622

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Saturday

WEDNESDAY $2 Domestic Bottles $2.50 Skyy/Absolute Mixers $2 Dr. Shots (7-1am)

THURSDAY FRIDAY 5 Domestic Bottles 4 $10 $5 Micro/Import Bottles $11.50, $7 Micro/Craft Pitchers (7-1am)

$5 Miller Lite/Bud Light Pitchers $2.25 Leinies Bottles (7-1am)

$2 Captain Mixers $2 Long Islands $3 Effen Vodka Mixers (7-1am)

16// December 3, 2009

Second Supper

THINK OF ALL your SCHOOL could do WITH $100,000.

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We believe educating our kids has never been more of a priority. That’s why we’re out to support the cause by giving schools money to use toward whatever they feel is important.

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One of last year’s winners, the Brogden Primary School in Dudley, North Carolina, built a much-needed playground with their $100,000, delighting students, parents and teachers.

So what are you waiting for? Show your school spirit by going to U.S. Cellular today and voting.

After all, we can’t think of a better cause.

Visit uscellular.com to find a store near you, where you can get your voting code.

brogden primary school— Dudley, north carolina

Let us help you find a location: visit uscellular.com or call 1-888-BUY-USCC Calling All Communities: No purchase necessary to enter or win. Voting begins November 13, 2009, and ends January 15, 2010. See official rules at uscellular.com/callingallcommunities. ©2009 U.S. Cellular.

USC-PH-09-055