Take a ride by Second Supper

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Bye-Bye Bin Laden Page 4

La Crosse's Free Press VOLUME 11, NO. 17 | MAY 12, 2011

Take a Ride

Bike to Work Week 2011 Page 6

PLUS: THE DIVORCE-ANATOR • PAGE 7 | CONCORDIA GOES INDIE • PAGE 7 | NEW GLARUS HOP BOMB • PAGE 9

2// May 12, 2011

Second Supper

COMMUNITY

Social Networking NAME AND AGE: Rebecca Trotnic, 19

WHAT IS YOUR GUILTIEST PLEASURE? Family Guy

WHERE WERE YOU BORN? Joplin, MO

TELL US A JOKE: What do you call it when two giraffes run into each other? A giraffic-jam!

CURRENT JOB: Kwik Trip Employee

WHAT'S THE LAST THING YOU BOUGHT? Canvases for painting.

DREAM JOB: To own an art studio where people can come and be artistic on their own time.

WHAT'S IN YOUR POCKET RIGHT NOW?: A lighter and some chapstick.

LAST THING YOU GOOGLED: Davids Bridal

IF A GENIE GRANTED YOU ONE WISH, WHAT WOULD YOU ASK FOR? A lifetime supply of gasoline.

IF YOU COULD LIVE ANYWHERE IN THE WORLD, WHERE WOULD IT BE? Chicago

WHAT PERSON, DEAD OR ALIVE, WOULD YOU LIKE TO HAVE DINNER WITH? Charlie Sheen

WHAT IS SOMETHING YOU WANT TO DO BEFORE YOU DIE: Publish and sell my art.

FIRST CONCERT YOU WENT TO: Relient K

WHAT IS YOUR PET PEEVE? Foolishness

WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE PART OF SECOND SUPPER? Sudoku's when you have them.

WHAT IS YOUR BEVERAGE OF CHOICE? Water

HOW DO YOU KNOW SHAYLEE? He's a great friend that I miss very much!

CELEBRITY CRUSH: Matthew Gray Gubler from Criminal Minds.

— Compiled by Shuggypop Jackson, shuggypop.jackson@secondsupper.com

WHAT BOOK ARE YOU CURRENTLY READING? Whispers by Dean Koontz

W3923 HWY 16 West Salem

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FREE WINGS

FREE BOWLING Every Monday at Features in West Salem FREE BEER – 5:30–6:30 PM FREE WINGS – 7:30–8:30 PM FREE BOWLING AFTER 9 PM FREE DRAFT BEER – Bud Light, Miller Lite, Pabst Beer Will Be Served in 10 oz. Plastic Cups, One at a Time

6 WINGS PER PERSON – Plain, Hot Or Mild

(Must Purchase A Beverage To Receive Wings, Sauces & Celery Extra)

FREE BOWLING with the Purchase of a Shoe Rental MUST BE 21 TO PARTICIPATE

Second Supper

Things To Do Treat yourself to a weiner

The Top Famous bike riders 1. 2. 3. 4. 5. 6. 7.

Lance Armstrong Greg LeMond E.T. Mr. Toad Freddie Mercury Butch Cassidy Albert Hoffman

Spring songs 1. 2. 3. 4. 5. 6. 7.

“M79” Vampire Weekend “Summertime Clothes” Animal Collective “Good Vibrations” Beach Boys “Range Life” Pavement “I Turn My Camera On” Spoon “Drunk Girls” LCD Soundsystem “Carby” Discovery

May 12, 2011 // 3

FIRST THINGS FIRST

As the doldrums of winter fade away like fog on a spring morning, or the good looks of your youth, it’s time to go balls deep in wieners. Wienerfest reminds us that hot dogs are a lot of fun to eat in summer; furthermore — drinking beers and listening to live music while eating hot dogs is nothing short of transcendent. So, make shirts that say stuff like “Mine is Bigger than Yours,” “Hey, man. Nice Wiener,” "Lukewarm Dogs are Better When Hot.” Tickets are $8 in advance or $10 day of. Please buy your tickets at Festival Foods in La Crosse, Holmen, or Onalaska. Musical entertainment will be provided by Pat McCurdy, Brat Pack Radio and Hairbangers Ball. So, put your dog on a bun and your wiener on a leash and get to the fest!

Be a tourist in your own hometown

Show some local pride and celebrate National Tourism Week by spending some time at La Crosse Area Convention and Visitors Bureau’s Riverside Family Fun Fair this Sunday, May 15 at Riverside Park. Admission is free, and for only .25 each, kids can enjoy bounce house fun provided by the Big E. Also featured are various attractions and festival exhibits, static exhibits, popcorn, hot dogs, soda, and root beer floats. Visit the Riverside Museum and learn about the War Eagle and other vital La Crosse history. For $5, take a one‐hour cruise on the La Crosse Queen at select times. For more information, call (608) 782‐2366, or check out www.explorelacrosse.com.

Be with nature

On Tuesday, May 17, and Thursday, May 19, rediscover nature on a bird walk provided by the Myrick Hixon EcoPark from 6:30-8 a.m. Join Dan Jackson and Bobbie & Pat Wilson and take in views of spring migration as well as the return of our regular avian residents. The group meets at the Hixon Forest Trail parking lot off Milson Court. Feel free to leave early or stay later; all are welcome.

Go to Hipbreak Hotel

Your bike has missed you these long winter months, so head up the river as the town of Trempealeau presents the 19th Annual Hipbreaker Bike Tour this Saturday, May 14. This bike tour offers a 10-mile ride, as well as 23- and 43-mile bike tours. Registration begins at 8 a.m. at the Trempealeau Hotel and the ride begins at 9 a.m.. Registration fee is $20 for both children and adults. Get your bike on!

Get high

Fly the high skies on free airplane rides at the La Crosse Municipal Airport this Saturday, May 14! The Experimental Aircraft Association Chapter 307 will host kids ages 8-17 on their very own high-flying adventure for a Young Eagles Flight Rally. The event will take place from 10 a.m. until noon. Parent or guardian attendance and preregistration are required. Weather permitting.

4// May 12, 2011

Second Supper

COMMUNITY

Bye-bye bin Laden

The eyes of the world's most notorious terrorist bear the soul of America

By Bob Treu Special to Second Supper

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TUESDAYS at 8PM

WEDNESDAYS from 4-11PM

○ NOT YOUR GRANDMA’S ○

In a week filled with stories and explanations of his death, most of us have had enough bin Laden. The last thing any of us wants is yet another take on this bizarre historical twist. I never met the man and am embarrassingly ignorant of the Middle Eastern milieu from which he sprang. There’s nothing left to reveal about his life or his deeds. Besides, I had already decided to take another week off. That should have been enough to stop me from writing about him. I couldn’t help myself. There was one dark secret I had to share. I found the man attractive. That’s the thing no one is talking about. Don’t get me wrong here. I don’t mean I found his dogmatic politics and distorted religion tempting. I’m talking about his physical beauty. He walked the Afghanistan slopes with a cat-like grace. He wore interesting hats and an old army jacket thrown loosely over a white night shirt. He had the aristocratic nose associated with his clan, and a mouth that was firm and sensual at the same time. But mainly it was his eyes. While I regularly find other men attractive, only women get to me sexually. Of course that might be the result of my growing up in a rigorously homophobic culture. On the other hand, I’ve been in a couple of tight places where being gay might have helped, but that’s another story. I’m just saying the attraction was physical, but not exactly sexual. As I said, it was something about his eyes. Whichever SEAL shot him knew enough to aim for the eyes. When he sat next to some Ayatollah discussing the evils of America, Bin Laden would get this far-away look, as if he were dreaming of dancing with heavenly virgins. All the while he would be caressing his AK- 47 as if it were the arm of his lover. His eyes had a soulful quality that reminded me of Natalie Wood. I fell in love with her in the middle of Marjorie Morningstar and never got over it. Like bin Laden, her eyes suggested interests beyond the merely physical. But then she wasn’t a mass murderer.

That’s the disturbing thing about bin Laden. He didn’t look like a professional hater. He had none of Hitler’s insane behavior. He didn’t pound the table and rant. Even at his worst he was disconcertingly calm. And it was precisely his otherworldliness that I found attractive. And deadly. How can I square the attraction with the coldblooded attacks on the World Trade Center and the Pentagon? I can’t and I don’t. Mass murder in itself is a turn off. Hitler, who makes bin Laden look like an amateur in that department, was physically ridiculous, and not in the least otherworldly. The reports say bin Laden wasn’t a warrior so much as a strategist, a mental player totally. The Germans have a word for a man like that. They call him a Luftmensch, or airman, a guy so abstracted you have to remind him it’s a machine gun he’s holding. The kind of guy who can endure years of living in caves or tell the world calmly how pleased he was the girders of the Trade Center melted, thus maximizing the carnage. Cotton Mather was a Luftmensch, based upon his ability to transform Native Americans into something he called “the devil’s children.” Bin Laden and Cotton Mather are my favorite arguments for separating church and state. Ulrike Meinhof was another Luftmensch. I thought of her because I happened to watch the Baader-Meinhof Complex as an alternative to the news one night last week. She was a journalist who became enchanted by the violence she was turning into words. At some crucial moment she jumped through a window and never looked back. Like bin Laden, she became a strategist of terror. Even her comrades were amazed at the ease with which she could plan and execute the murder of Springer Group workers. Springer was the Fox news of her Germany. There was an otherworldliness in her hatred of lies, and it showed in her eyes. I suppose I’m taking the trouble to write this in part because of the strange wildness of the celebrations that followed the announcement of bin Laden’s death, especially the scene of young people dancing in the

street and shouting: “U.S.A.! U.S.A.!” as if we had just beaten Russia in a hockey match. Then there was the man who called NPR to congratulate the friends and families of bin Laden’s victims. That was the word he used: congratulate. Neither of these responses is particularly vile, but they do suggest that we missed something important. It was as if we thought the skill of execution was the important thing, something that would show the world we could still win. So if I couldn’t join in the rejoicing, I couldn’t feel all that bad either. I may have picked up on some attractive vibes from the man, but I won’t miss him. The best news of the week was that bin Laden’s demise has given an energy boost to the Obama presidency. True, a few birthers have become deathers, especially since bin Laden’s body was cast into the ocean. Cheney and Rumsfield are claiming credit for the killing, calling it the inevitable result of their thoughtful use of waterboarding. But most people recognize craziness when they hear it, and the president is growing in popularity and approval again. Like bin Laden, Obama is a calm, graceful man, and he is, in his undogmatic way, religious, but he is far from being a Luftmensch. He is a practical politician who has cast his lot against not a few ideologues and fanatics. He would rather negotiate. Ironically, his capable handling of the bin Laden affair has won him comparisons with Clint Eastwood. That will help him with the folks who wonder if a community organizer with a law degree from Harvard is tough enough to handle terrorism. Let’s hope he doesn’t fall in love with that image of himself. In the last pictures of bin Laden he is no longer the sensual, attractive man of the earlier photos. He is heavier, a white-bearded old man wrapped in blankets and wearing an American style woolen cap. He can’t seem to keep warm. He is totally absorbed in watching television, a video of his former self, it turns out. His eyes are dimmer now, but he seems to be seriously evaluating the complex image he left us as he waits for us to find him.

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May 12, 2011 // 5

COMMUNITY

Bike to Work Week 2011

Experience the joy of the two-wheel commute By Ben DeLine Special to Second Supper

The warm weather is here just in time for Driftless Region Bicycle Coalition’s Bike to Work Week, a national event intended to promote bicycling and bike safety. The DRBC has high hopes for this year and has enough bike tours planned to make Floyd Landis tired just thinking about it. "We are all about getting more people on bikes more often by advocating for beginning riders to get out and see what it’s like," said Tim Keneipp, president of the DRBC. "It’s an opportunity to reach out to the community to show them the benefits of being bike friendly." The Bike Tours are a perfect opportunity to hit the streets with these lycra clad, juiced up "experts." There will be Neighborhood Bike Tours in both La Crosse and Onalaska, and the Syttende Mai Bicycle Tour in Westby promises to be a colorful addition to the lineup. All of the rides will be safe, low-key and beginner friendly. "I may not have a problem travelling by bike anywhere in this area. I'm confident and used to dealing with traffic,” said Kevin Miller, owner of Blue Heron Bikes. “The idea is to get those people who are less experienced to feel more confident." The bike tours all have some pretty good perks along the way, whether it’s coffee, food, root beer or just plain good oldfashioned beautiful countrysides and neighborhoods. If that isn't enough there is some friendly competition involved. The coveted Golden Helmet Awards will be presented at the closing celebration to businesses who have the best employee turnout. If you really like biking but don't want to part with those precious calories you've been stocking up on all winter or just need a little extra energy for hump day, Wednesday is your day. Bike to breakfast at the YMCA to carb up with a bowl of Wheaties. The Burrito Ride at noon is a perfect lunch for the bicycling epicurian. Then at 5, the Onalaska Neighborhood bike tour will be heading to the Blue Moon for dollar burgers. Mmm, burgers. The opening celebration should be a crowd pleaser, so pack up a picnic basket and cruise down to Myrick Park on Sunday from 4 to 8 p.m. "The block party on Sunday will be fun," said Keneipp. "There will be music, maybe a bike-powered blender for cocktails." Keneipp also has a couple of tips for you first-timers to consider before taking the rusty old steed out for a ride to work. "Make sure your bike is ready, plan your route out and ride it at least once in advance if you have time, so you know about any road blocks or delays." After-dinner entertainment on Wednesday includes a Bike Rodeo at the South Branch of the La Crosse Library and the YMCA. Cowboy up and git on in there for a rootin' tootin ol'-fashioned rompin’ stomper involving bikes and possibly cattle. Want to talk with your local elected of-

ficial about policies that affect the biking community? Me neither, but local mayors Matt Harter, Mike Giese and Mike Poellinger will be hosting open bike rides anyway. Giese deserves a gold star for powering through his recovery from heart surgery in November in order participate in the festivities. If you would like to see the total alternative transportation experience package, forget Richard Branson and his empty moon vacation promises and check out the Bike, Bus, Car Commute Experiment at 8 a.m. Tuesday at Onalaska City Hall. Or maybe you just happen to own a rusty chopper that needs some good old fashioned TLC. The DRBC will be there with the WD40 to keep your chain greased and a helping hand to keep your baseball cards stuck tightly into the spokes. "The best part about riding your bike to work is that you don't have to worry about parking," added Keneipp. "Plus, it’s just a great way to start your day. You can listen to the birds and watch the squirrels or say hi to your neighbor and total strangers." If you don't have a bike lock, the La Crosse Public Library has got you covered. You can borrow one for the day to keep your mind at ease and your Huffy Mt. Storm safe from highwaymen. So grease up your perpetual motion machine, get out there and enjoy the good weather to prepare you for the 9 to 5 grind in your sterile cubicle. "I started riding bikes because it gave me a sense of freedom," said Miller. "As a kid I felt like I could do anything, go anywhere, however I wanted to whenever I wanted to. That still holds true for me today and things are only getting better for bicyclists."

2011 Schedule of Events Are you ready for a week full of fun for the whole family? Then check out all the exciting events that make up Bike to Work Week 2011! For full list of events visit www. driftlessbicycle.org • Please wear a helmet • All events rain or shine •

Saturday, May 14

n Bike to Worship — Bike to Worship and compete for the Golden Helmet Award. n Ride with Mayor Giese of Onalaska — Meet at Onalaska City Hall 8:30 a.m — Leave at 9 a.m.

Sunday, May 15

n Bike to Worship — Bike to Worship and compete for the Golden Helmet Award.

n BTWW Opening Celebration—Myrick Park Main Shelter — 4-8 p.m. n Urban Tour/Challenge — 4 p.m. (maps will be available at Myrick Park Main Shelter)

Monday, May 16

n Neighborhood Bike Tour — La Crosse — Meet in Cameron Park at 6 p.m.

Tuesday, May 17 n The Bike,Bus,Car commute from Onalaska City Hall to the Grand River Station. Start time will coincide with the 8:10 a.m. bus at City Hall in Onalaska. n Neighborhood Bike Tour — La Crosse — 6 p.m. — Check back later for ride details

Wednesday, May 18 n Bike to Breakfast — YMCA La Crosse — 6:30-9 a.m.. See booth in the Y for commuting instructions from local commuters from from 4 to 6 p.m. n Burrito Ride — 12:10 p.m. — Meet at Band Stage in Riverside Park. ride the La Crosse city trail to Burrito House for lunch

Thursday, May 19 n Ride with La Crosse Mayor, Matt Harter. This event will begin at 9 a.m. at La Crosse City Hall. n Neighborhood Bike Tour — Onalaska — 6 p.m. start at Blue Heron Bicycles

Friday, May 20

n BTWW Closing Celebration — Cameron Park — 5-7 p.m: “Coveted” Golden Helmet Awards

presented at 6 p.m, Root beer Floats & organic fruit, Music by Grand Picnic,. Biking Door Prizes

PHOTO BY ADAM OLDRE

Booths in the La Crosse YMCA with Information on commuting will be available all week.

Bike to Coffee (All week) — Bike to local coffee shops on your way to work, show your helmet and get a free cup of coffee. Participating coffee shops include: Bean Juice Coffee Roasters, Jules Coffee House, Grounded Specialty Coffee, Root Note, McCaffrey’s Coffee, River Rock Coffee, Moka (both locations), & Peoples Food Co-op.

6// May 12, 2011

ARTS LA CROSSE’S NEWEST & TRUEST PUB & EATERY WITHOUT THE FRANCHISE!

Medium: Literature Stimulus: Tina Fey — Bossypants Anno: 2011

Monday: All U Can Eat Wings includes choice of potato, slaw and a $8.99 frosted Pint. 4-9:30

Tuesday: Wisconsin cheese steak sandwich with a frosted Pint. $8.99

Wednesday: Ladies Night, $1 Off All Drinks 4-Cl. Pint-Aritas $3.00 (lime or strawberry)

Thursday:

Karaoke on Thursdays

All U Can Eat Wings includes choice of potato, slaw and a frosted Pint. 4-9:30 $8.99

8 Plasma TV’s • Food & Drink Specials e o

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This half-biography, half humor book from America’s reigning comedic mind alternates between being too short and running at just the right length. If one is looking for Tina Fey to give a detailed, minute by minute account of her life and career, well, that didn’t happen. When she does talk about herself, Fey gives a Cliff’s Notes version of her life: childhood, awkward dates, Second City, getting hired at Saturday Night Live, the process of creating 30 Rock, and her Sarah Palin impersonation that became one of the most notorious aspects of the 2008 presidential election. Yet it seems obvious that the biography parts, especially the personal, serious bits, were written with great reluctance and as necessary evils. With the exception of describing work-related stress, she tends not to dwell on feelings and sticks to the facts when the big picture is called for. As such, there are brief moments when Bossypants gets more biography than autobiography, with “I” being substituted for “she. In contrast, it’s clear that the goof off parts of the book, the weird asides and ridiculous lists, are where Fey’s heart really lies.

Second Supper This isn’t to say that the tone of the book is harshly bipolar, but that the most personal parts of Bossypants often come with a healthy dose of deflection. Humor is the easy disguise, but Fey exposes herself most in describing others, whether it’s talking her dad up to tall tale proportions or describing her husband’s travel hang-ups and their disastrous journeys together. It’s in keeping with this lack of self-centeredness that the book’s strongest statement about the potential of women in comedy is a story in which Fey watches from the sidelines as a female castmate tells off a male castmate. The book does end sort of awkwardly. The coda begins with Fey musing about being a woman getting older in a business that sycophantically worships youth. Yet as it progresses, a growing part of that musing involves whether or not Fey should have a second child. Ultimately it becomes a question Fey asks the reader. It’s a strange enough ending point on its face, but its gets stranger when one discovers that Fey announced, around the time of this book’s publication, that she is in fact pregnant. This may be a case of strange and highly appropriate timing or an intentional art-intolife narrative, but the end effect comes off like asking people to vote in an election that was decided the previous week. Bossypants may not be the greatest comedian’s memoir of all time, but it is a very good supplement to the rest of Tina Fey’s work.

— Brett Emerson

Review: LCT's Chicago lives the life of LiLo

By Jonathan Majak jonathan.majak@secondsupper.com

La Crosse's Free Press Reminds you to support the retailers, restaurants, taverns and bands that support us. We are funded solely by advertising so if you want to support us, support them!

conscientious commerce: Take it out for a spin

Boozing, dancing, mayhem, jail stints. But enough about an average weekend in Lindsay Lohan’s life, I’m here to write a review about La Crosse Community Theatre’s sparkling production of the classic Kander/ Ebb musical “Chicago.” Set in the Roaring Twenties in the freewheeling city of, surprise, Chicago, the musical tells the satirical tale of two merry murderesses who split their time trying to stay out of jail while trying to keep their names in the paper. When “Chicago” made its debut in 1975, it was viewed as a cynical piece of work. The intervening years have blunted a little of satirical edge of “Chicago,” mainly because it’s an eerily accurate portrait of our TMZ existence. While the satire may not be as cutting as it once was before, the music is as magical and catchy as it was in 1975, especially in LCT’s production. In their central roles of Roxie and Velma, Katie Bakalars and Natalie Wikstromm form a tremendous comedic pairing, particularly in their joint numbers “My Own Best Friend” and “Hot Honey Rag.” Individually, each actress is able to take essentially awful self-obsessed characters and turn them into people you’re not only entertained by but also root for. Though it’s sort of hard to root for Roxie Hart, given how sympathetic her husband Amos comes off as played by Scott

Gibson-Uebele.His rendition of “Mister Cellophane” almost verges into tragicomedy as Gibson-Uebele easily mixes humor with pathos. As the Master of Ceremonies, Eric Michael Busse gives a wonderfully playful vibe, always wildly entertained by the events going around him; it’s an infectious attitude. In the roles of Billy Flynn and Mama Morton, Michael Kruse and Elizabeth Arihood both sing their roles incredibly well. While their vocals are strong and they do leave a positive impression, neither Kruse and Arihood quite meets the challenge of these iconic roles. Kruse, who I enjoyed in “It’s a Wonderful Life,” has an easy-going persona that doesn’t quite jibe entirely with the huckster Flynn character. Arihood, for her part, is better in her Second Act duet “Class” than “When You’re Good to Mama.” All of this, though, could be chalked up to seeing the show opening night as well and is why we always try to see a show more than once. The supporting ensemble are excellent, vigorously throwing themselves into Jen Wilkinson’s choreography. Set designer Dillon McArdle has, again, made a set we want to live in. So get yourself some bootlegged gin, put on those garters and prep yourself for some razzle dazzle realness.

Chicago runs until May 22. For ticket information, contact LCT at 784-9292, ext. 2, for tickets.

Second Supper

May 12, 2011 // 7

MUSIC

A bohemian night at the Concordia

Review: Brooklyn indie octet tops impressive local bill By Julie Schinder Special to Second Supper Brooklyn bohemians Laura Stevenson and the Cans flooded into Coulee Country last week to top an impressive bill at the Concordia Ballroom. The indie rock octet usually hits smaller clubs in bigger cities, but they said the loved the ballroom. They also spoke highly of Wisconsin’s famous cheese curds, even though they didn’t come from nearby Rudy’s. The lineup for the May 3 concert started with a Mad Town band, Not The Critic. This dynamic acoustic duo warmed up the smaller crowd early in the evening and even covered a song by Direct Hit, which added a nice touch to their repertoire. 64 Squares, a band made up of four members from 1,2,3…Walrus (who would play later on), brought a whole different sound to the concert with a drummer, bassist, keyboardist-slash-guitarist and guitaristslash-vocalist. Playing both their originals and covers, 64 Squares’ solid, grungy sound consisted of a mellow/loud/mellow flow. They also pulled off a righteous save to a guitar strap malfunction, turning it into a positive and adding smiles to the performers and audiences alike. The third performance was a local hiphop group, Another Exoneration, a five-man collective who were fast with their words and brought primarily original pieces to the stage. This local quintet was the Energizer Bunny of the night, with their 15-song set and all five guys rapping solo during every piece. They were determined to have crowd participation and made it happen by bringing the crowd closer to the stage and even jumping down into the audience. They also brought some fresh freestyles to the venue and had a memorable Bill Wither’s backbeat that added some old-schoolness to their act. With the sun now set, the sevenman ska/punk band that brought everyone together on the lineup came to play. 1,2,3…Walrus — a band of drums, bass/rhythm guitars,

sousaphone, trombone, alto saxophone, trumpets, a lead vocalist and several other members chiming their pipes in — brought their A Game. Their upbeat, want-to-kickyour-legs-out sound had quite a few crowd members giving in, and their stage presence was even better. Ending their set with their classic original, “Low,” 1,2,3 … Walrus had the diehards moving about like nobody’s business. With the stage nice and warm from the four previous performances, Laura Stevenson and the Cans came out with their coats still on, trying to beat the chilly Sconnie night. Coming from Brooklyn and heading westward on a national tour, LS&tC stopped in La Crosse on what could have been on off night before a Twin Cities gig. The band brought deep, tight, so-good sounding music that enters the ears and rests comfortably in the soul. Their sound, encompassed by drums, an accordion, trumpet, bass, guitar, vocals, tambourine and an ever so appropriate glockenspiel, hit every crowd member differently, promoting thoughtful listening, leading toward a meaningful bond that the crowd shared for staying to hear them. During the middle of the set, Laura performed a solo piece on guitar, and the final song consisted of a surprise. Waiting in anticipation, 1,2,3 … Walrus’ Lars Roeder, Zak Kaszynski and Bob Tolson hopped on stage and performed “Utterly Yours” with Laura and the Cans. This was a perfect ending to a night of wholesome music. The Brooklyn band seemed so appreciative toward everyone, but La Crosse fans were extremely appreciative of the good music they brought out on a Tuesday night.

The Majak Mixtape By Jonathan Majak jonathan.majak@secondsupper.com So we guess he WON’T be back? That’s all that we can gather from the announcement that former California governor/action star extraordinaire Arnold Schwarzenegger and former “Dateline” reporter Maria Shriver have split with each other after just celebrating their 25th wedding anniversary a scant few weeks ago and just some four months since Schwarzenegger left office. We’re not sure of the reasons behind the split. Maybe spending the past few months watching untold amounts of old weightlifting videos took a toll on Shriver OR maybe Schwarzenegger got tired of Shriver sitting in front of a teleprompter, pretending she still had a journalism career. Whatever the issue, the duo is done and that makes them worthy of a mix that we’re dubbing “The Divorce-anator.” First up is “She” from Tyler, The Creator’s new album “Goblin.” When Maria Shriver got together with Arnold Schwarzenegger many moons ago, the world let out a collective WHAT IS SHE THINKING. You had a Kennedy relative, with all the pedigree that comes with that, shacking up with an action movie star who makes Sly Stallone look articulate in comparison? Really? But in spite of what seemed like insurmountable

differences, the duo managed not only to get married but also became one of the, until recently, most stable Hollywood couples as they navigated their way through raising children, running for office, and, most surprisingly, the shit-fest that was “Batman and Robin.” It seemed like nothing could stop them. But now the duo is splitting with one another, joining the ever-growing heap of failed celebrity marriages. This leads us to our next tune “End of Story” from Urge Overkill’s new album “Rock and Roll Submarine.” People have been quick to note that in their joint statement, the word divorce isn’t technically mentioned. The duo just plans to live apart and “work on the marriage.” According to the intrepid reporters that comprise TMZ, Maria Shriver has been attempting to get out of the marriage for some two years; each attempt was thwarted when one of her parents of kicked the bucket. Nothing like having a body count in order to not file divorce papers. Don’t give up on celebrity love, Mixtapers. The Schwarzenegger/Shriver marriage may be deader than chances of a sequel to “Jingle All the Way,” but take heart at the news that Paul McCartney is planning on marrying his fiancée without a pre-nup because that worked out so well for him the last time. It’s amazing how quickly we forget our past mistakes when in love. Good luck with that, Sir Paul. Hopefully this one won’t end up hopping all the way to the bank with a bunch of your money. Buy: The Lonely Island’s “Turtleneck & Chain” YouTube: Nicki Minaj “Super Bass” Read: Buzzgrinder www.buzzgrinder.com Get your daily dose of all the wig-snatching antics of The Majak Mixtape at The Majak Kingdom blog www.majakkingdom.blogspot.com

717 Rose St. La Crosse

5.14

Chester Bay

5.19

500 Entertainment Presents Hip Hop Open Mic

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5.20 Porcupine w/ So So Radio and Ronald Raygun 5.21

Nimbus w/Perverse Engineer

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5.27

Moon Boot Posse’s Big Birthday Extravaganza!

5.28 The Pumps - Rockabilly Blues

8// May 12, 2011

Second Supper

MUSIC

music directory // May 13 to May 19 FRIDAY,

just a roadie away

May 13

Milwaukee

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population

596,974

FREIGHT HOUSE // 107 Vine St. La Barge (Acoustic duo) • 8 p.m.

THE RAVE // MAY 13 Family Force Five • $13.50

HOFFERS // 500 Copeland Ave. Hallowed Ground (Hard Rock) • 9 p.m.

TURNER HALL BALLROOM // MAY 13 Datsik • $15 SEETHER // MAY 14 The Rave • $25

HOWIE'S // 1125 La Crosse St. Sunspot (Rock) • 9 p.m.

ASIA // MAY 14 Pabst Theater • $57

LASCHER’S UPTOWN BISTRO // 102 Leonard St.

Don D. Harvey Open Mic • 6 p.m. MOOSE LODGE // 1932 Ward Ave. Stingrays ('50s and '60s rock) • 6 p.m. NEUIE'S VARSITY CLUB // 1920 Ward Ave. Arch Allies ('80s rock) • 8 p.m. PEARL STREET BREWERY // 1401 St. Andrew St.

Head on over to the Warehouse this Friday night to check out post-hardcore/screamo outfit Four Letter Lie for what’s sure to be a night rife with chunky breakdowns, blood-curdling screams and a lot of dudes wearing girl pants. This Minneapolis-based group is one of the biggest names in the genre and one of Victory Records’ flagship bands, so if you’re craving some intense music this is definitely a show you won’t want to miss. Doors open at 6 p.m. and tickets are $10.

JB'SSPEAKEASY // 717 Rose St. Chester Bay (rock) • 10 p.m.

EROCK (American Cancer Society benefit) • 5 p.m. JOHN'S BAR // 109 Third St. S. Cat Robey, MasterNate, Marcus S, PIGGY'S BLUES LOUNGE // 501 Front St. S. Wrecking Crew, A-Vo, 3rd Street Steve Meyer Blues Band (Blues) • 8 p.m. Basement Dweller, DJ CALI, Stotes (hip-hop basement show) • 10 p.m. POPCORN TAVERN // 308 S. Fourth St. Moon Boot Posse (fusion) • 10 p.m. PIGGY'S BLUES LOUNGE // 501 Front St. S. STONEY CREEK // Lumberjack Lounge String Ties (bluegrass) • 7:30 p.m. THE ARTERIAL // 1003 S. 16th St. The Honor System (Punk) • 9 p.m. THE JOINT // 324 Jay St. Monkey Wrench (Rock) • 10 p.m.

Steve Meyer Blues Band (blues) • 8 p.m. POPCORN TAVERN // 308 S. Fourth St. Burnt Brownies (jam) • 10 p.m. RIVER JACK'S //1835 Rose St. Ontourage (blues/rock) • 8 p.m. THE FIELD HOUSE // W5450 Keil Coulee The Journeymen (acoustic) • 7:30 p.m.

SUNDAY,

May 15

POPCORN TAVERN // 308 S. Fourth St. The Blend (jam rock) • 10 p.m. THE JOINT // 324 Jay St. Adam Palm with Mike Caucutt, Jammin George (Palm Sunday) • 4 p.m. THE WAREHOUSE // 324 Pearl St. Catalepsy (Metal) • 5:45 p.m.

MONDAY,

May 16

DEL’S BAR // 229 Third St. Open Jam • 10 p.m POPCORN TAVERN // 308 S. Fourth St. Shawn's Open jam • 10 p.m.

May 17

TUESDAY, THE WATERFRONT TAVERN // 328 Front St. Greg Balfany Jazz Quartet (Jazz) • 8 p.m. THE JOINT // 324 Jay St. POPCORN TAVERN // 308 S. Fourth St. Fayme Rochelle & The Waxwings Paulie (one-man band) • 10 p.m. THE WAREHOUSE // 324 Pearl St. (old-time, bluegrass) • 10 p.m. Four Letter Lie (Hardcore) • 7 p.m. WEDNESDAY, THE ROOT NOTE // 114 4th St. S. BOOT HILL PUB // 1501 St. Andrew St. Jim Seem (acoustic) • 8:30 p.m. SATURDAY, Jerry Anderson and Neil Duresky (PiaFREIGHT HOUSE // 107 Vine St. THE WATERFRONT TAVERN // 328 Front St. no/vocal) •5:30 p.m. La Barge (acoustic duo) • 8 p.m. Greg Balfany Jazz Quartet (jazz) • 8 p.m. CAVALIER LOUNGE // 114 5th Ave. N. Reggae vs. Hip Hop (rare vinyl) • 10 p.m.

May 14

May 18

RAUL MALO // MAY 15 Shank Hall • $20 BON JOVI // MAY 21 Bradley Center • $17.50-$127.50

DEL’S BAR // 229 Third St. Kokopellians (jam grass) • 10 p.m. POPCORN TAVERN // 308 S. Fourth St. Dave Orr (man about town) • 10 p.m. RECOVERY ROOM // 901 7th St. S. Kin Pickin' (jam grass) • 10 p.m.

THURSDAY,

May 19

CAVALIER LOUNGE // 114 5th Ave. N. Hipster DJ (pretentious indie) • 10 p.m. DEL’S BAR // 229 Third St. Andy (from T.U.G.G.) • 10 p.m. GEORGE STREET PUB // 229 Third St. Kalyst (hip-hop, CD release) • 10 p.m. JB'SSPEAKEASY // 717 Rose St. Hip-hop open Mic• 9 p.m. POPCORN TAVERN // 308 S. Fourth St. Fuzzy HD (garage rock) • 10 p.m. STATE ROOM // 128 N. Third St. Derek Ramnarace (songwriter, of Soap Box Project fame) • 6 p.m. THE STARLITE LOUNGE // 222 Pearl St. Kies & Kompanie (Jazz) • 5 p.m.

Second Supper

The Beer Review IIPA New Glarus Brewing Company New Glarus, Wisconsin Last week I reviewed the newest offering from the New Glarus Brewing Company, a palatable Pilsner that’s so middle-of-theroad even your momma would drink it. Two Women is a simple beer brewed well, and there’s certainly a place for that in the modern craft brew scene. You just won’t find it at the big kids table. The nexus of American microbrew culture seems to be forever pushing the extremes of potency and taste. In this realm, the imperial IPA is king, and beers like Pliny the Elder, Hopslam and Dogfishhead 90 Minute dominate the usual conversation

about America’s best beer. Wisconsin, for all its benefits, has never had a truly great imperial IPA, but last month New Glarus threw down the gauntlet with its (not so creatively named) IIPA. The first beer in the newly christened Thumbprint series, the IIPA is another masterwork from Dan Carey & Co., a beer so unlike Two Women that it’s hard to believe they came from the same brewery. The IIPA was previously released under the Unplugged label, an experimental line where beers were only released once, but it proved so popular New Glarus reconfigured the brand. This complex yet easy-drinking hop bomb didn't merely change New Glarus’ label — it might just changes the whole Wisconsin beer game. Purchase: Four-pack of New Glarus IIPA from Festival Foods, $9.49 Style: American Double IPA

Strength: 9 percent ABV Packaging: The IIPA maintains the red foil top of the Unplugged line, but the new series features a thumbprint inside Wisconsin’s sate outline with the tag “Drink Indigenous.” Appearance: The beer pours a murky gold color, lighter than many imperial IPAs, with bountiful and long-lasting white head. Aroma: From the moment I cracked open the bottletop, a gale force of hops flooded my nose, even from its perch 4 feet away. A deep whiff reveals a cornucopia of resin, citrus and Bubblicious over a sturdy malt base. Taste: The first sip is a flip-your-Cheesehead burst of assertiveness that’s like nothing else New Glarus brews. It’s like lemon crossed with unripe grapefruit and mango, but as it warms the IIPA reveals a beautiful complexity and spice profile. The malt base has notes of caramel and white bread and finishes cleanly

The Best Food & Drink Specials in Town LOCATION

SUNDAY

BODEGA BREW PUB

BROTHERS

CLOSED

306 Pearl St. 784-0522

CARLIE'S ON THIRD

$5 domestic pitchers

1914 Campbell Road 782-7764

FEATURES

W3923 State Highway 16 786-9000

FISH'S BAR & GRILL

Bar Menu

TUESDAY

WEDNESDAY

2-Fers, Buy any regularly priced food item and get one of equal or lesser value for free

$4 Rueben Sliders

$1 Wells, $5 Domestic pitchers All specials 9 p.m. to close

Wristband Night: AUC2D domestic taps, rail mixers, Long Islands. All specials 9 p.m. to close

15-cent wings, $1.50 Keystone Lights, $1.50 rail mixers; $2.50 call drinks. 2 For 1 Captains All specials 9 p.m. to close.

Wristband Night: AUC2D, Domestic $1 Bazooka Joes, $2 Cherry Bombs, $1 Bazooka Joes, $2 Cherry Bombs, taps, rail mixers and Long Islands. $3 Long Islands, $3 3 Olives Mixers $3 Long Islands, $3 Bacardi Mixers $2.50 SoCo & Jack. All specials 9 to close. All specials 9 to close. All specials 9 to close.

5 domestic taps for $1; $2 domestic pitchers

$2 domestic pints and $2 rail mixers; $1 shots of Doctor (3 flavors);

CLOSED

1125 La Crosse St. 784-7400

IMPULSE

214 Main St. 782-6010 www.impulseoflacrosse.com

JB’S SPEAKEASY 717 Rose St. 796-1161

SCHMIDTY’S 3119 State Road 788-5110

SLOOPY'S ALMA MATER 163 Copeland Ave. 785-0245

THE LIBRARY 123 3rd St. 784-8020

TOP SHOTS

$3 Bacardi mixers; $3 Three Olives vocka mixers (8 flavors); $2 domestic pints and $2 rail mixers

Taco buffet 11-2; $1 Pabst bottles and $1 bowling after 9

All you care to eat pizza buffet, 11-2 (Holmen)

All you care to eat fish fry 4-10; un- Prime rib dinner 4-10; limited Glow-N-Bowl $9.99 unlimited Glow-N-Bowl $9.99

Bar Menu

La Crosse's Best Tacos: Beef $2, Chicken $2.50

La Crosse's Best Tacos: Beef $2, Chicken $2.50 Dog in a Diaper, $5

Fish’s Fish Taco $3.50

La Crosse's Best Tacos: Beef $2, Chicken $2.50 Chimis and Burritos, $5

9 p.m. to close: $1.25 rails, $1.75 bottles/cans

9 p.m. to close: $2 Captain mixers, $2 bottles/cans, $3 Jager bombs

9 p.m. to close: $2 Bacardi mixers, $2 domestic pints, $1.50 shots blackberry brandy

Free Wing Night (while supplies last); $5 AUC2D wristbands: domestic taps, rail mixers, Long Islands, 9 p.m. to close ($7 after 11p.m.):; live DJ

$5 AUC2D Wristbands 9 p.m. to close ($10 after 11p.m.): Domestic Taps, Rail Mixers, Long Islands; Live DJ, Dancing 9 p.m. to close

Happy Hour 5 to 7 p.m.

CLOSED

$1.75 domestic bottles, $1.75 Dom Monday Madness: $1.75 domestics bottles and rails, $2.50 Bombs and rails, $2.50 Bombs, $1 off all top shelf and specialty beers $1.79 burger (after 8 p.m.) Breakfast 8 a.m. to 2 p.m.

All specials 9 to close.

Free Beer: 5:30-6:30 p.m. Free Wings: 6:30-7:30 p.m. Free Bowling: After 9 p.m.

Bar Menu

Ladies Night, $1 off all drinks, 4 to All you can eat boneless wings, inclose; Pint-Aritas $3 (lime or straw- cludes a choice of potatoe, slaw and berry) a frosted pint, 4-9:30 p.m., $8.99

Happy hour 4 to 9 p.m.; 9 p.m. to 9 p.m. to close: $3.50 domestic 9 p.m. to close: $1 rails, $2.50 pitch- $5 all you can drink close: Night Before Class - $3 pitch- pitchers ers, beer pong ers of the beast CLOSED

SATURDAY

Fish Tacos: 1 / $2.50, 2 / $5.00, 3 / $6.50.

Happy Hour: 2 for 1 domestic bottles Karaoke 9 p.m. to close and rail drinks, 3 p.m. to 9 p.m.

All you can eat wings, includes a Wisconsin cheese steak sandwich choice of potatoe, slaw and a frosted with a pint of beer, $8.99 pint, 4-9:30 p.m., $8.99

400 Lang Drive 784-2242

HOWIE’S

CLOSED

FRIDAY

$1.50 domestic taps and rail drinks, Bird Brain Trivia 8 p.m.; $1.50 do- Wing Night - 25-cent wings (dine- $1.50 domestic bottles and rail 4 p.m. to close mestic bottles and rails 4 p.m. to in only); $1 Miller High Life silos and drinks, $2 craft bottles, 4 p.m. to close PBR silos; $1.50 taps and rail drinks; close $2 craft taps. All specials 4 to close.

1452 Caledonia St. 782-6446

FLIPSIDE PUB & GRILL

— Adam Bissen

$2 BBQ Pork Sliders

CLOSED

115 3rd St. S 782-7550

THURSDAY

with the lingering taste of sweet buns. The 9 percent alcohol barely registers on the taste buds. Mouthfeel: Full-bodied and resiny. Drinkability: This is one of the most drinkable double IPAs I’ve ever encountered. I really feel like I could take down the entire fourpack, but all of my brain cells say that’s a bad idea. Ratings: BeerAdvocate grades this an A-, while RateBeer scores it a 99. I’d say it’s just a millimeter shy of the nation’s pinnacle double IPAs, but right now this might be my favorite thing New Glarus has ever brewed. That’s no small statement.

MONDAY

122 4th St. 782-0677

EAGLES NEST

May 12, 2011 // 9

YOUR GUIDE TO CONSUMPTION

$5 AUC2D wristbands: domestic taps, rail mixers, Long Islands, 9 p.m. to close; ($7 after 11p.m.): karaoke 10 p.m. to close

Tuesday Boozeday $1 off all liquor Happy Hour 5 to 7 p.m. drinks and 50 cents off all shots, $2 Bombs

Hat Night: Buy 1 drink, get 1 free w/ Rail drinks $2 (4:30 to close); Buckets of beer $10, Boston Bobby's Margaritas $4 (Straw, rasp, mango, hat (4:30 to close); $1.50 chili dogs After 8 p.m. specials: $5 skewer of drummies 10 for $2 (4:30 to close), peach and reg); After 8 p.m. specials: (after 8 p.m.) shrimp,l $1.79 burger, $1.50 chili dogs $1.79 burger (after 8 p.m.) $5 skewer of shrimp, $1.79 burger

$1.50 Tacos, $4.99 nachos;: $11 Tacos: $11 buckets during pro and 12-inch pizza $8.99 buckets during pro and college foot- college football games. Happy Hour Happy Hour 2 to 6 p.m. ball games. 2 to 6 p.m.; $2 pints all day $1 Taps & Rails during the game ; $6 wristbands starting at 7pm.

14-inch pizza, $2 off; Wings Happy Hour 2 to 6 p.m.

Half price tequilla, $1 domestic taps K$2 Double rails and all bottles; $3 and rails Double call drinks

Breakfast 8 a.m. to 2 p.m.; lunch buffet 11 a.m. to 2 p.m., $6.99

$1.89 hamburger + toppings Ladies Fish Dinner Special-$7.89 night, 2 for 1 drinks (6-close), Happy Hour 2 to 6 p.m. Happy Hour 2 to 6 p.m.

$1.50 Tacos, $4.99 nachos; $11 buckets during pro and college football games.

Wristband night, $2 cherry bombs, $2 U-Call-its for domestic taps, $2 U-Call-its for domestic taps, 50¢ shots (3 flavors); $2.50 Tuaca, domestic bottles, rail mixers & select domestic bottles, rail mixers & select Jack Daniel's & SoCo Mixers call mixers. call mixers

$5 Pitchers/$2 bottles of Miller prod- $1.75 Miller/Bud Light Taps, $2.25 $1.75 Rails, $1.50 Domestic Taps, $2 domestic bottles, $2.50 Skyy/ ucts (11-4pm) $2 Corona Bottles, $2 MIcro/Craft Taps, $2.50 Cherry $3.50 Jager Bombs Absolut mixers, $2 Dr. shots (7-1 Kilo Kai Mixers , $3 Bloodys (7-1 a.m.) Bombs (7-1 a.m.) (7-1 a.m.) a.m.)

5 Domestic Bottles for $10, $5 $2 Captain Mixers, $2. Long Island Micro/Import Bottles $11.50, $7 Mixers, $3 Effen Vodka Mixers (7-1 Micro/Craft Pitchers (7-1 a.m.) a.m.)

$5 Miller/Bud Light Pitchers, $2.25 Leinies Bottles (7-1 a.m.)

POPCORN TAVERN

$2.50 Captain mixers $2 16oz Old Style & Lost Lake cans

$1.75 PBR Bottles $2.50 Captain mixers $2 16oz Old Style & Lost Lake cans

$2.50 Captain mixers $2 16oz Old Style & Lost Lake cans

$2.50 Captain mixers $2 Grain Belt

$2 Coors & Coors Light Bottles, $2.50 $2 16oz Old Style & Lost Lake cans Skyy mixers, $2.50 Captain mixers $2 16oz Old Style & Lost Lake cans

$2 16oz Old Style & Lost Lake cans

WHO'S ON THIRD

Happy Hour until 10 p.m. $1.50 domestic taps, $2 rails from 10 to close

$1.50 taps PBR, $1.50 rails

$2 domestic bottles, $3 call doubles

$2 taps, $3 Jack and Captain doubles

$2 Miller products, $8.50 fish bowls

137 4th St. 782-6622 308 4th St. S. 782-9069

126 3rd St. N. 782-9467

$2 domestic taps, $3 Three Olives products

10// May 12, 2011

Second Supper

DIVERSIONS

Have an opinion?

Maze Efflux

By Erich Boldt

Send your letters to the editor to Second Supper, 614 Main St., La Crosse, WI 54601 or by e-mail to editor@secondsupper.com. Letters should be signed and include phone number for verification purposes.

Please limit letters to no more than 300 words. Second Supper reserves the right to edit letters for length, clarity and grammar. For more information, call (608) 782-7001.

Newspaper Delivery Driver Needed

Second Supper needs delivery person to distribute papers Thursday afternoon/evening throughout La Crosse. Car necessary. Immediate opening. Call 608.782.7001. Pay is about $10 per hour.

"Dance Party" Busting a Few Moves By Matt Jones

ACROSS 1 Fireplace grate leftovers 6 "___ Head" (Freud work about mythology) 13 '60s adjective 14 They make Chevys shine 16 Brings out a smile in 17 More hardened 18 Getting to home plate while listening to Ravel? 20 Like some tacos 21 Request, as a cigarette 22 Dropped watermelon sounds

23 Female precursor to vampires 24 Part of QED 26 Transgress 27 Spurts of energy 28 Do a new format on a paragraph 30 La Quebrada's home 32 Take down 34 Excuses 37 Skip a walk through the rain, perhaps 39 "Tiny Bubbles" crooner 41 Hit the town 44 Yoga practice need 46 Word after greater

Answers to May 5 puzzle "Not What You Think"â&#x20AC;&#x201D;Be prepared for some criticism.

or lesser 47 For two, to the French 48 Stern milieu 50 Where: Lat. 51 Remove one's hat 52 The gray area between getting a fashion magazine or not? 54 The writing on the wall 56 Stick around 57 Pens in 58 English soccer great Wayne 59 Ignore, as faults 60 Ed of "Up" DOWN 1 Protected, like a Round Table knight 2 Kindred spirit 3 It may have its kinks 4 Tinker-Chance link 5 Some admins 6 Ian who's Blackbeard in a 2011 movie 7 Bother persistently 8 Bit of coffee sediment 9 Lambasted director Boll 10 Automated servant for dispensing dip? 11 Self-evident logical statements

12 Deem appropriate 13 Talkative sort 15 Madrid misses, for short 19 Oscar the Grouch's pet worm 23 Crystal clear 25 Switching around faucets in a restroom? 27 "The Family Circus" cartoonist Keane 29 Injectable firmer 31 Olivia Newton-John film with a few Top 40 hits 33 Sucker 35 Not nice to animals 36 More in need of a makeover 38 Amy Lowell or James Joyce 40 Like some potato salad 41 Cop's credential 42 Decks out 43 Do some cabinet work 45 ___ del Fuego 48 Learning methods 49 Spread options 52 Discover alternative 53 "___ my lunch break" 55 Dandified dude ÂŠ2011 Jonesin' Crosswords (editor@ jonesincrosswords.com)

Second Supper

May 12, 2011 // 11

614 Main St., La Crosse, WI 54601 Phone: (608) 782-7001 Online: secondsupper.com Publisher: Roger Bartel roger.bartel@secondsupper.com Editor in Chief: Adam Bissen adam.bissen@secondsupper.com Student Editor: Emily Faeth emily.faeth@secondsupper.com Sales: Mike Keith mike.keith@secondsupper.com Sales: Ansel Ericksen ansel.ericksen@secondsupper.com Sales: Michael Butteris michael.butteris@secondsupper.com

• La Crosse • Sparta • Richland Center • Prairie du Chien Birth Control Services Annual Exams for Women STD Testing & Treatment for Men and Women Pregnancy Testing Emergency Contraception Call for an appointment today!

800.657.5177

Helping create healthy lives and families.

www.optionsclinic.org

Regular Contributors: Amy Alkon, Erich Boldt, Jenn Bushman, Nick Cabreza, Mary Catanese, Jason Crider, Ashly Conrad, Ben DeLine, Marcel Dunn, Brett Emerson, Shuggypop Jackson, Jonathan Majak, Matt Jones, Briana Rupel, Julie Schneider, Stephanie Schultz, Nate Willer

There's no voter fraud. Our ballot will be online! www.SecondSupper.com BALLOTS DUE–MAY 27, 2011

Second Supper is a weekly alternative newspaper published by Bartanese Enterprises LLC, 614 Main St., La Crosse, WI 54601

top shots joke of the week Why can't a bicycle stand up on its own? Because it's too tyred! Check out our new Beers on Tap!

Good People, Good Drinks, Good Times

SUNDAY

$5 Pitchers $2 Bottles of Miller Products (11-4 pm) $2 Corona Bottles $2 Kilo Kai Mixers $3 Bloody’s (7-1am)

MONDAY

$1.75 - Miller/Bud Taps $2.25 Micro/Craft Taps $2.50 Cherry Bombs (7-1am)

TUESDAY

$1.75 Rails $1.50 Domestic Taps $3.50 Jager Bombs (7-1am)

SATURDAY

WEDNESDAY

$2 Domestic Bottles $2.50 Skyy/Absolute Mixers $2 Dr. Shots (7-1am)

THURSDAY

5 Domestic Bottles 4 $10 $5 Micro/Import Bottles $11.50, $7 Micro/Craft Pitchers (7-1am)

$5 Miller Lite/Bud Light Pitchers $2.25 Leinies Bottles (7-1am)

FRIDAY

$2 Captain Mixers $2 Long Islands Mixers (7-1am)

12// May 12, 2011

The Advice Goddess By Amy Alkon amy.alkon@secondsupper.com Extreme meekover

Women always insist they’re looking for a “nice guy,” but they waste no time running past one to get to a jerk/bad boy. It really seems they’re drawn to guys who treat them badly. My most egotistical friends score with women like crazy, and I’m a nice guy who’s alone. If my experience is any indication, what women really want are domineering users who have sex with them and toss them aside. —-Nice And Tired Of It Dateless guys like to blame their situation on how “nice” they are - as if nothing zaps a guy’s mojo like being the kind of fellow who’d bandage a bird’s wing or drive an old lady to the store. Night after night, they rock themselves to sleep, whimpering, “Am I just too wonderful to be anyone’s boyfriend?” when the question they probably should be asking is “Why doesn’t the approval-starved, needy suckup get the girls?” Self-proclaimed nice guys are often not

Second Supper

THE LAST WORD nice at all but overly nice - snakes in worm’s clothing driven by crushing wimpiness, fear and desperation. Instead of taking the straightforward approach to hitting on a woman, the so-called nice guy offers to do a bunch of chores for her - not out of the goodness of his wimpy little heart but to bribe her into wanting him. This guy not only finishes last, he gets left holding the broom. “Nice” versus “jerk”/”bad boy” is actually an oversimplification. NYU personality psychologist Dr. Scott Barry Kaufman has been digging into the nuances, which he laid out in his talk at an evolutionary psychology conference I attended in April at SUNYBinghamton. Kaufman described the classic jerk as “narcissistic, selfish, thrill-seeking and chauvinistic.” He focused on the narcissistic angle, noting that narcissists tend to be a bust in long-term relationships (they’re all about being admired instead of being a partner), but they’re “masters at first impressions.” He cited research that suggests a whole lot of us find narcissists highly likeable at first. We’re drawn to them thanks to four things: They tend to dress with personal style (flashy or expensive clothing), they have self-assured body language, they come off warm and charming, and they pepper their conversation with witty remarks. But, in the research, those who initially found the narcissists charismatic, well-adjusted, and fun saw their true colors upon further interaction (recognizing them for the selfobsessed, groupie-seeking, manipulative creeps they actually are).

While many women are drawn to bad boys, especially in their early 20s, there are three basic types who will put up with one: thrill-seekers, fling-seekers, and sad-sack gaping wounds. Regarding your contention that women want “domineering” men, Kaufman laid out research that shows they actually want men who are “assertive” as opposed to “dominant.” What’s the difference? Well, a guy who says to his date, “We’ve got to leave right now” as opposed to tying her up and throwing her in the trunk. Kaufman summed up his talk by describing the ideal man as strong without being aggressive and demanding, and sensitive without being meek, wimpy, or submissive. He described this man as “the Prestigious Man,” and gave George Clooney as an example. This sort of man is confident, achievement-oriented and extroverted while also being caring, generous and helpful. Kaufman emphasized that kindness and assertiveness aren’t mutually exclusive, and having both in one man is especially important to women. He also noted that the Prestigious Man has genuine self-esteem, based on his accomplishments (as opposed to the blustery “Look at me!” self-esteem of the not-so-nice guy). So, the answer for you and other nice guys is … become George Clooney? No, nor should you start hitting on women with “Hi! I’d like to have sex with you and throw you away like used Kleenex!” But, think about where a guy who might say that is coming from. He’s having fun, shaking things up. He isn’t living in fear of rejection. And he doesn’t take rejection as a statement of his

worth, just a sign that it’s time to go offend the next girl. What you need to do is borrow from the bad boy’s successful tactics. You won’t transform yourself overnight, but you can work on being more self-assured, and until you start to feel it, do your best to act selfassured. To ramp up your Prestigious Man/ Clooneyness, Kaufman suggests you do something socially valuable, something to help humanity. As a bonus, if there’s one place you’re less likely to find narcissistic, self-serving jerks competing with you for the ladies, it’s the volunteer world. In time, with practice, you just might convince some cute volunteer girl to come home with you to help you put Bactine on that rash you got from tucking your tail between your legs.

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