All that Jazz

INSIDE...

VOLUME 11, NO. 16 | MAY 5, 2011

Page 4

Jim Piela & All That Jazz La Crosse’s favorite saxophone player cuts his first album

COVER DESIGN BY JENN BUSHMAN

La Crosse's Free Press

Best Of La Crosse Ballot

Page 6 PLUS: THE BEST THE GOP HAS TO OFFER • PAGE 4 | OSAMA'S MIXTAPE • PAGE 7 | NEW GLARUS' NEWEST• PAGE 9

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Second Supper

COMMUNITY

L'Editor

Dear Reader,

I truly hope the death of Osama bin Laden won’t be one of those “Where were you when?” moments that becomes cauterized into our collective consciousness for decades to come. In my case, I was standing outside the Popcorn Tavern’s Earth Day celebration, listening to a guitar player recall hijinks from the latest Smokin’ Bandits tour. In between tales of depravity in Duluth and Stevens Point, someone burst outside and announced that Osama bin Laden had been killed. It took me about three seconds to go from disbelief to indifference, and all the cell phone texts everyone was receiving seemed to add a false sense of gravity to a military strike that had no immediate bearing on my day-to-day existence.

It was only when I came home for the president’s speech and an orgy of selfcongratulatory media coverage that I realized other people had different reactions.

Vindication? Justice? Relief? Pride? I tried to understand why people were spontaneously amassing around the country to chant “USA!” and dance in the streets, but even today I don’t get it.

The death of Osama bin Laden has mostly made me sad. Of course I didn’t grieve for the al-Qaeda figurehead, but all those morose feelings I experienced 11 years ago, during my second week of college,

came flooding back. It’s discomforting to realize you live in an uncontrollable world.

September 11 was a growing-up moment, for me and for my country, but last Sunday’s jingoistic outburst was not only embarrassing, it was also dangerously naïve.

The military execution of Osama bin Laden does not make the world a safer place.

It might make it more dangerous, but we really can’t tell — and it’s our folly to believe we can change the world with tactical strikes.

The United States of America did not defeat terrorism this week. We never can. Our hedonistic outburst of back-slapping pride only sets us up for another emotional collapse — and a furious shot across the bow if we get hit again.

To me this entire episode illustrated the consummate power of the United States military, when wisely deployed, as well as the nation’s collective id. Getting swept away in patriotic fervor should not be a matter of national pride. We didn’t win the big game.

We killed a high-profile terrorist, who killed thousands of Americans, which resulted in tens of thousands of more deaths. I just can’t find joy in that. At least I can laugh at hangovers and body odor in a tour van, because I know those will eventually go away.

— Adam Bissen

Social Networking NAME AND AGE: Daron Seib, 19 WHERE WERE YOU BORN? La Crosse, WI

about every other month. I mean Green Eggs and Ham. WHAT IS YOUR GUILTIEST PLEASURE? Green Eggs and Ham.

CURRENT JOB: Unemployed

TELL US A JOKE: What do you call it when two giraffes run into each other?

A giraffic-jam!

DREAM JOB: Self-employed

WHAT'S THE LAST THING YOU BOUGHT? Some really strong oregano I think.

LAST THING YOU GOOGLED: Homestarrunner

WHAT'S IN YOUR POCKET RIGHT NOW?: Keys, pillbox, scented paper for recording very small, delicious thoughts.

IF YOU COULD LIVE ANYWHERE IN THE WORLD, WHERE WOULD IT BE? Someplace with zero-gravity...an eternally falling elevator. Just me, you, and everyone else.

WHAT IS SOMETHING YOU WANT TO DO BEFORE YOU DIE: Break the sound barrier, in a boat.

WHAT IS YOUR PET PEEVE? Chalk dust clouds, when you don't just ask/tell, phatic conversations, sadness, polyester, seedy fruit.

WHAT IS YOUR BEVERAGE OF CHOICE? Pineapple juice CELEBRITY CRUSH: Zooey Deschanel WHAT BOOK ARE YOU CURRENTLY READING? Many, including House of Leaves by Mark Z Danielewsky, The Violent Bear It Away by Flannery O' Connor, Self-Reliance by Ralph Waldo Emerson (always), and I usually re-read Marshall Mcluhan's The Medium is the Massage: An Inventory of Effects

IF A GENIE GRANTED YOU ONE WISH, WHAT WOULD YOU ASK FOR? The ability to know what I want. No no, I take that back.. Boots that are made for Walkin.

WHAT PERSON, DEAD OR ALIVE, WOULD YOU LIKE TO HAVE DINNER WITH? Albert Camus FIRST CONCERT YOU WENT TO: Weird Al Yankovic WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE PART OF SECOND SUPPER? Plenty of empty space to write offensive things between the lines.

HOW DO YOU KNOW SHAYLEE (LAST WEEK'S INTERVIEW)?

She slowly asphyxiated my little heart. Now we're friends!

— Compiled by Shuggypop Jackson, shuggypop.jackson@secondsupper.com

Second Supper

Things To Do Come to the Dark Side

The Top Jazz bands 1. Modern Jazz Quartet 2. The Jazz Messengers 3. Jaga Jazzist 4. Jazz Mandolin Project 5. Mushroom Jazz 6. Jazz Liver 7. DJ Jazzy Jeff & The Fresh Prince Ensembles 1. Quintet 2. Trio 3. Sextet 4. Quartet 5. Nonet 6. Septet 7. Duo

May 5, 2011 // 3

FIRST THINGS FIRST

Good grief. It’s been a long week, hasn’t it? Your significant other is totally cheating on you, your boss is always on your ass and finals week is about to body slam you. The world demands too much and you can’t just beat your dog, have a snack and forget about it, can you? Well, if you’re looking to relax for just a little while, why not head to the planetarium (20 Cowley Hall) on the UW-La Crosse campus on Friday night to check out the Dark Side of the Moon Album Encounter. What’s that? It’s a multimedia and laser show set to the music of Pink Floyd (it’s pretty rad). Let’s face it; your life would be better if it was put to the music of Pink Floyd. So, take an hour and rejoice in your Friday — take comfort that music is still awesome and always on your side. The cost is only $3 and shows are at 7 and 8 p.m. Do it.

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Take in a more colorful downtown

See downtown La Crosse look a little prettier Friday night thanks to the Store Front Art Walk. The new program transforms vacant storefronts into mostly empty storefronts with the addition of vibrant local art displayed in the windows. The event kicks off Friday night at 5 p.m., with refreshments at Grand River Station and will finish around 8 p.m. at the Pump House Regional Arts Center.

What an excellent way to support local artists! And if you’re an enterprising businessperson, maybe take a good look at the buildings in our vibrant commercial center and consider moving in. For more information, email storefrontartlacrosse@gmail.com.

2

Walk with Mom

Head outdoors and celebrate Mother’s Day at the Mississippi Valley Conservancy’s Mother’s Day Flower Hike on Saturday beginning at 10 a.m. Take your mother, daughter, sister, neighbor or friend on a moderate hike through the Holland Sand Prairie nature preserve. The guide will point out native wildflowers that populate this area as well as the birds that nest there. Bring comfortable walking shoes, a water bottle, sunscreen and/or bug spray.

For more information, call (608) 784-3606.

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Mannerchor: OMG!

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Mannerchor of UW-La Crosse will host their final concert of the semester tonight (Thursday) at 7:30 p.m. in Annett Recital Hall in the Center for the Arts. This concert — “Mannerchor: OMG!” — will feature traditional music plus a folk song from Trinidad, an arrangement of Tenacious D’s “Tribute,” and a piece based on the poetry of Edgar Allen Poe. Suggested ticket prices for tonight’s show are $3 for students and $5 for others.

It’s for the birds

Come celebrate International Migratory Bird Day this Saturday at Myrick Hixon EcoPark. This entirely free event will begin with bird watching hikes through wetlands and forests beginning at 6:30 a.m. One-hour bird shows, featuring a live red-tailed hawks, are scheduled for 9 a.m. and 10:30 a.m. at the EcoPark Center, which will also host childrens activities all day. Admission is free, but all activities end at noon. For more information, call (608) 784-0303 x 223, or check out www.mhecopark.org.

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4// May 5, 2011

Second Supper

COMMUNITY $1

GOP Measuring Stick

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TUESDAYS at 8PM

WEDNESDAYS from 4-11PM

○ NOT YOUR GRANDMA’S ○

MyEaglesNest.NET

By Ben DeLine Special to Second Supper

It's May of an election year and you know what that means. Get ready for the pandering, posturing and general lack of dignity from our elected public officials who will be falling over themselves to carve out ever larger chunks of the electorate before the coming primaries. The usual suspects left over from the campaign in 2008 are joined by other rising GOP stars and seasoned journeymen looking for one more shot at the big one.

As of the latest Gallup poll, there is no clear front runner for the Republican presidential nomination. Donald Trump is in the lead after capturing the hearts and minds of Republican voters with his short-lived resurrection of the "birther" movement.

Hot on his heels are two of last campaign’s contenders, Mike Huckabee and Mitt Romney, whose respective name recognition garnered attention in the early stages. None of these three are being taken seriously by the heavies in Washington as a possible contender to Obama.

Trump has correctly calculated that his name recognition alone would place him atop of the pack at this point. It is also a sign that he doesn't take his chances very seriously. If he were harboring any illusions of being elected president he should have waited until at least June before going public. He will be picked apart by the more experienced political types long before the first votes are tallied.

Incredibly, the list of more experienced contenders includes mama grizzlies, Sarah Palin and Michele Bachmann, despite their unwillingness to reach out to a larger base.

Everyone laughed at the Tea Party when they emerged on the scene in Washington, with good reason as their amateurish gaffes seemed beyond the pale at the time. No one is laughing now. Their fiscal concerns will dominate the debate, but it is still to early for a real presidential contender to come from their ranks.

Also waiting in the wings are the likes of Ron Paul, Newt Gingrich, Rudy Giuliani, Tim Pawlenty, Rick Santorum, Mitch Daniels and Haley Barbour. Gingrich, Giuliani and Santorum have seen their best political years come and go, and they don't have much of a chance to gain the kind of support they would need to unseat Obama. The real dark horse contenders out of this group are Paul and Barbour.

Ron Paul is known to the American public after emerging from obscurity in a late push during the 2008 primary. He was dumping tea before Sarah Palin graduated college and has the "I told you so" advantage with the current fiscal reform battle. Due to

some of his social policy stances, he is a cult favorite among independents and swing voters and could pose a threat to Obama who has lost some of his momentum due to criticism of his handling of health care reform and his policy in the Middle East.

Many Americans outside of the South don't know Haley Barbour yet. This will change. The two-term Mississippi governor is a proven winner and a party favorite. He was chairman of the Republican National Committee from 1993-97 when the GOP won control of the House of Representatives and the Senate for the first time in 40 years.

He is the current chairman of the Republican Governors Association, and much of the GOP's recent gubernatorial success has been contributed to his leadership.

Barbour has been one of the top lobbyists and Republican strategists in Washington for years. His political resume is impressive. He worked on Nixon's campaign in '68 as an undergraduate at the University of Mississippi. He was a political aide in the Reagan administration and backed H.W. Bush's '88 presidential campaign. His lobbying experience as Washington's King Fixer is even more impressive. BellSouth, Pfizer, Microsoft, Delta, Exxon, Phillip Morris, RJ Reynolds and Citigroup are among his long list of former clients.

"Operation: Streamline," Barbour's budget plan for Mississippi is the blue print that recent tea-party backed Republican governors, like our own Scott Walker, used to

design their ultra-conservative fiscal reforms.

Funding for social services was drastically reduced by his administration to cut the budget in half without raising taxes. Many of the cuts were directed at Medicade, which resulted in severely reduced coverage for sixty five thousand citizens classified as Poverty-Level Aged and Disabled.

Barbour is very respected with the old guard and has a lot of common ground with the fiscal goals of the growing Tea Party coalition. He is good at keeping his head out of the crosshairs and even better at stonewalling those who oppose him. He is extremely well liked by his fellow Republicans and is a very serious threat to Obama south of the Mason-Dixon line.

His role in the Hurricane Katrina catastrophe and how his involvement is perceived by the public will be crucial to his success.

Barbour is to Hurricane Katrina as Giuliani is to 9/11. He is credited by many by being a shining beacon of efficiency during a time of national crisis. His detractors point at the income he received from a blind trust fund from his old firm, which was very active in lobbying for contracts in Mississippi during the aftermath of Hurricane Katrina.

I think Barbour has the best shot at winning the nomination at this point, but there is a lot of time before the voting starts and I wouldn't be surprised if some more presidential hopefuls get into the mix before the dust finally settles. Get your popcorn ready.

Thurs. 5/5

Roster McCabe

Fri. 5/6

Nimbus

Sat. 5/7 Shoeless Revolution

Second Supper

May 5, 2011 // 5

OFFICIAL BALLOT

BEST OF LA CROSSE

Local celebrity

2011

Downtown Tom The Flower Lady Peaches The Singing Jogger Dan Breeden

INSTRUCTIONS TO VOTERS A. To vote, completely fill in the oval to the RIGHT of your choice(s) like this: B. To vote for someone whose name is not printed on the ballot, write the candidate's name on the line provided and completely fill in the oval.

Pizza — Restaurant Pizza — Delivery/ Pickup

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Big Al’s Pizza T-Jo’s Pizza Pizza Amore Edwardo’s Pizza Doctors

Toppers Happy Joe’s Pizza King Jeff & Jim’s Politos

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Mexican Rest.

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Breakfast

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Tequilas Los Tres Compadres Fiesta Mexicana Manny’s Cocina Burritos House

Sweet Shop The Pearl Finnottes Nut & Chocolate Shop Ranison The Candy Outlet

Rosie’s Café Fayze's Old Style Inn Hackberry’s The Root Note

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Buzzard Billy’s Dublin Square Ciatti’s Italian Restaurant Gracie’s Train Station BBQ

Rudy’s Drive-In Dublin Square Pettibone Boat Club Alpine Inn Huck Finn’s

Alpine Inn Bucky’s Burger Barn Sloopy's Old Style Inn Eagle’s Nest

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Brother’s Buffalo Wild Wings Sports Nut Blue Moon Features

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Pickerman’s Lindy’s Erberts & Gerbert’s Bodega Brew Pub The Root Note

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Freight House Digger’s Sting The Waterfront Kate’s on State Piggy’s Restaurant

Varsity Club Snuffy’s Flipside Pub & Grill Glory Days Eagle’s Nest

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Starlite Lounge The Cavalier The Waterfront 3 Rivers Lounge Piggy’s Blues Lounge

Bodega Brew Pub Pearl Street Brewery JB’s Speakeasy Rivoli Theatre The Cavalier

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3rd Relation Jazz Trio Greg Balfany’s LaX Jazz4tet Jim Piela Quartet Kies & Kompanie New Jazz Infidels

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Popcorn Tavern JB’s Speakeasy The Root Note Nighthawk’s Tap The Warehouse

Root Note Del’s Bar Nighthawks Tap Popcorn Tavern My Second Home

WLSU, 88.9 Z-93, 93.3 The Rock, 95.7 Classic Rock, 100.1 CC106, 106.3

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Pick one per category. Return by May 27 to Second Supper, 614 Main St. You also can vote online at www.secondsupper.com.

6// May 5, 2011

Second Supper

ARTS

LCT's cheographer breaks down Chicago

By Jonathan Majak jonathan.majak@secondsupper.com

Felonies meet Fosse on the La Crosse Community Theatre stage in their upcoming production of “Chicago,” and its choreographer Jen Wilkinson’s job to keep those merry murderesses in step when they aren’t pleading not guilty in front of a jury of their peers.

According to Wilkinson, who has choreographed shows as diverse as “The Producers,” “Damn Yankees” and “Fiddler on the Roof,” doing the choreography for the razzle dazzle that is “Chicago” is the fulfillment of a long-held aspiration.

“I’ve always dreamed of choreographing ‘Chicago’!” said Wilkinson. “I can’t think of anything that would top it right now.”

That dream can sometimes be a bit of a logistical nightmare for the choreographer.

The 21-person cast, according to Wilkinson, who has choreographed shows at LCT since 1994, has risen to meet the challenge.

“This is probably the first show I've worked on where I haven't had to tweak most of the choreography that I wanted to do,” said Wilkinson. “We have an extremely talented cast for this show! I actually was able to challenge some of them, and do some more difficult choreography than I've been able to do on past shows.”

Space, along with audience expectations, is always in the front of Wilkinson’s mind.

“I think the most challenging was ‘Cell Block Tango,’ not because of the dancers' abilities, but because of the space limitations and the popularity/expectations of the song

with the audience,” explained Wilkinson.

“Another challenging number was ‘Razzle Dazzle,’ because I wanted to do some cool lifts, and we have a limited number of men to do them. Space was also an issue with this number, but I think it turned out great!”

Wilkinson also noted what a time-consuming process choreography is for all those involved.

“I have to take the abilities of the cast, the vocal requirements in the song, what the audience might like to see, and the limited stage space at LCT into account,” said Wilkinson. “I sit with the score and as many different versions of the number I can find, and try to create great choreography.”

And even at this point, things can always be thrown for a loop once the cast gets onto the set.

“When Dillon [McArdle, LCT set designer] has the set ready, we usually have to change some things to fit the space allowed — and add in the element of the stairs for this show,” said Wilkinson.

No matter the stress or countless hours being put in, it’s all worth it in the end according to Wilkinson.

“It has been a challenging and very rewarding experience for me.”

Chicago opens Friday and runs until May 22 with 7:30 p.m. performances Thursdays, Fridays and Saturdays and 2 p.m. matinees Sundays as well matinees added Saturdays May 14 and 21. Tickets are $22 with $10 tickets for Thursday shows available for students and current members of military.

The Majak Mixtape

By Jonathan Majak jonathan.majak@secondsupper.com

You’ve got hand it to the royal wedding.

It literally took somebody being shot in the head before the press would stop talking about it. It does admittedly help that that person was Osama bin Laden, the planner of several terrorist attacks including 9/11. Faster than a speed of a Tweet, the whole world was turning on its television to watch President Obama deliver the news about Osama bin Laden’s death. We, for our part, almost missed it because apparently Food Network won’t cut into its programming no matter what the hell is going on in the world. In today’s Mixtape we tackle the highs, the lows and the crazy surrounding the situation in a mix we’re calling “Osama In the Membrane.”

We kick off the Mixtape with that damn mouse Fivel singing that song “Somewhere Out There” because basically, that’s what international intelligence had been able to gather at best. For years and years, the American government had been playing the longest, most terrorist-filled version of “Where in the World is Carmen Sandiego” without even the aid of some jaunty a capella music. The announcement Sunday night brought that part of the journey to a close as DNA tests confirmed that it was in fact Osama. (Which, side-note to the people on Facebook bitching about how it’s

weird it only took a day to do the DNA test, we’ve got two words for you: Maury. Povitch.

YOU ARE THE TERRORIST.)

Late Sunday night, President Obama addressed the nation in a short but sweet speech that not only announced Osama’s death but also declared his demise a victory for all people who believe in peace and not a victory in a war against Islam. And then he strutted away from the podium. There is no other way to describe the way he made his stunning, flawless, amazing exit. In honor of this, our next is T.I.’s “Swagga Like Us” because no one on The Hill got swagga like President Obama.

Seriously though, he was schooling Donald Trump left and right at the White House Correspondents Dinner AND then gets to pre-empt “The Celebrity Apprentice” to say that Osama bin Laden is dead the next night?

YOUR FAVORITE COULD NEVER.

Lastly, we end with “Helplessness Blues” from Fleet Foxes’ new album of the same name because as the cheering parties ended and people went home, there is a sense of fear of what may come in the form of retaliation.

Whatever may or may not happen, we here at the Mixtape believe that America has the resiliency to, in the words of that oh so wise philosopher Dr. Spock, to live long and prosper.

Buy: Architecture in Helsinki’s new album “Moment Bends.”

YouTube: Lady GaGa’s music video for her single “Judas” Read: The Daily What Tumblr, www.thedailywh.at Get your daily dose of all the wig-snatching antics of The Majak Mixtape at The Majak Kingdom blog www.majakkingdom.blogspot.com

Review: UW’L’s McCarren flies away with Dracula production

By Jonathan Majak jonathan.majak@secondsupper.com

W3923 HWY 16 West Salem

FREE BEER

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FREE WINGS

FREE BOWLING Every Monday at Features in West Salem FREE BEER – 5:30–6:30 PM FREE WINGS – 7:30–8:30 PM FREE BOWLING AFTER 9 PM FREE DRAFT BEER – Bud Light, Miller Lite, Pabst Beer Will Be Served in 10 oz. Plastic Cups, One at a Time

6 WINGS PER PERSON – Plain, Hot Or Mild

(Must Purchase A Beverage To Receive Wings, Sauces & Celery Extra)

FREE BOWLING with the Purchase of a Shoe Rental MUST BE 21 TO PARTICIPATE

When it comes to adaptations of Dracula, they most often fall into one of three distinct categories: the good/serious (Francis Ford Coppola’s version), the bad/campy (“Blacula” ) and the excruciatingly ugly (“Dracula 3000”). Thankfully for all those involved and/or attending UW-L’s production of “Dracula,” the production keeps both fangs firmly planted in the good category in spite of a script that often makes brief sojourns into camp.

The script, by playwright Steven Dietz, is a fairly straight-forward retelling of the classic Bram Stoker novel about the blood-thirsty Count. In the role of Dracula, Garrett Flood finds himself, not unlike his titular role in “The Last Days of Judas,” playing a character who haunts the proceedings more than he actually engages in them. It’s a credit to Flood’s immense talents and natural charisma that Dracula makes as strong of an impression as he does and feels like a character and not just the required antagonist to move the plot along. Special note should be given to Dracula’s vixens played by Jandrea Novak and Anna Wooden; their creeping and crawling presence gave the show an actual sense of terror.

As bitten Lucy and befuddled Seward, Amy Nelson and Kevin Fenshaw have great chemistry with one another; one of the best scenes of the entire play is Nelson’s post-vampire-bite attempt to seduce Fenshaw. Nelson

gives the scene the necessary flirtation that makes Seward’s willingness make some sense in spite of Lucy previously being, you know, dead all five seconds prior to it while being menacing enough that you want to scream at Seward for being a moron.

In their roles as Mina, Van Helsing and Harker, Colleen Schulz, Donnie Mezera and Austin Hernandez do a good job at being scared. It’s a difficult acting feat that often crosses into scenery chewing, but the trio are able to get it across without going into B-Movie territory.

In his role as the deranged Renfield, Tim McCarren pretty much walks off the show in one of the best performances I’ve seen in the two years I’ve worked as a theatre reporter here at Second Supper. It is an utterly fearless performance that is at moments over the top and then quietly intimate with its madness that will leave a lasting impression long after curtain call.

The play is also filled with gorgeous period costumes designed by Joe Anderson as well as peppered with a set of wonderful pyrotechnics that always enhance the play and are used sparingly enough that they don’t grow into a tiresome distraction.

So go see “Dracula” at UW-L. Just remember to eat your garlic beforehand and you’ll be spared. Maybe.

Dracula plays Friday through Sunday with 7:30 p.m. shows Friday and Saturday and 2 p.m. matinee on Sunday.

Second Supper

MUSIC

May 5, 2011 // 7

All that Jazz

Jim Piela discusses his favorite style of music, his hot young quartet and their fine new CD

By Ben DeLine Special to Second Supper

It doesn’t matter if you prefer rock, funk, reggae, jambands, fusion or jazz: If you’ve seen live music in La Crosse, you’ve probably seen saxophonist Jim Piela. A Sun Prairie native, Piela came to La Crosse to study music performance at UW-L, and he currently makes a living by teaching lessons and performing several nights a week in a half-dozen ensembles around town. At age 19 he started playing with Shoeless Revolution, then 3 Beers ‘Til Dubuque. Now he records with T.U.G.G., and has played gigs with Nick Shattuck and Burnt Brownies — but that’s not even his favorite kind of music.

The 25-year-old Piela loves jazz. He can play soprano, alto, tenor or baritone saxophone, as well as a smattering of other woodwinds. You may have seen him with Kies and Kompanie, Greg Belfany, Som’n Jazz or Jazz Liver, but his main outlet for original music is the Jim Piela Quartet, who is releasing their fine debut album Space Cadet on Saturday. On the eve of the group’s release party at the Pump House, we sat down with Piela at the Bodega for some easy conversation.

SS: Let’s talk about the Jim Piela Quartet.

Can you tell me a little bit about the group and how you guys started?

JP: It’s me on sax of course, Andrew Steeno on bass, Bryan Zannotti on drums and Dan Collins on piano. The group is almost three years old. We started when I was still going to UW-L. Zannotti and Collins still attend. I just wanted to put something together to be creative and write. Sort of explore the limits of what we were doing and try something new.

SS: All the guys in the quartet are under 30.

There is a perception of jazz music that it is old people music, you know, from the ‘30s and ‘40s. How would you respond to that?

JP: I think there is jazz out there for everybody. It gets a bad rap. You know, like, "’In the Mood,’ that’s jazz and I don't like it!" Or someone puts on a really obscure or inaccessible album right off the bat, and that is their perception of jazz. Like late Coltrane or Anthony Braxton. But there is a lot of stuff out there and it comes in different styles.

Jazz musicians are known for their ability to adapt.

For whatever reason, people associate jazz with either really far out or old timey music, and it’s not always that. To me, after listening to however many hundreds or thousands of albums, it’s all over the place.

Some borders pop music and there is other stuff that is really weird. Some people hear the word jazz and shut down immediately.

I was at Nighthawks one night and all the guys happened to be there so we got up and played a couple of tunes. People were dancing like at a rock show. We just didn't tell them it was jazz!

SS: How do you write a jazz song?

JP: It’s different for every song, and I don't start from the same place every time. It comes from all over the place...personal experiences, inspiration. I listen to other people's music and incorporate the things I like into my playing.There is a tune called “Despair” on the album that is originally from a multi-media piece I did with a friend, Mike Liazuk. He would paint and I would play, then I gave it chord changes and another section and away we went.

A tune like “Doublethink,” which is the first track on the album, came from my music journal. Whenever I think of something I jot it down and then it’s there to be used or not used. Doublethink was actually two separate ideas squished together, then I added a few more parts.

SS: So you have an emotion or a goal in mind when you write? It’s not just coming up with a good riff and harmony?

JP: Yes, definitely. Each one of these songs evolves into something different and new.

They each have an emotional connotation.

Whether that is readily apparent or not is another story. They don't all start from emotion. Some of them do start out with a catchy riff, but it is all emotional to me. This is what keeps me alive.

Some of the these songs actually have lyrics. I'm never going to show them to you because they are dumb and extremely personal. But whenever I hit a roadblock in my writing I just try to make up lyrics for how I feel.

The song “Precariosity” is really weird.

It’s a soprano sax tune, really out there. I was experimenting with different ways to resolve chord tones and I came up with this big fancy thing and then it was, "well now what do I do for a melody?" I thought about how I felt at the moment and came up with these silly lyrics and I wrote a melody around them.

One side was completely experimental, playing with aesthetics and resolution tones and the other side was these emotional lyrics that meant something to me. That technique ended up working really well for that one and for a few others.

SS: I listen to a lot of jazz records as well and I was impressed at the quality of the sound.

Can you tell me what the recording process was like?

The recording was done by Brett Huus at Soundstrations. He did a phenomenal job from the moment I walked in until I had the disc in my hand. He's very good at what he does.

I'm the producer of the album, so I sat there and played with levels too. It took some time, but it was worth it.

The album isn’t mastered like a normal jazz album, as you may have noticed. Its a little poppier. A lot edgier but keeping the emotional dynamic of jazz. It’s not pop; it’s not Lady Gaga. There is some ebb and flow.

I think we got a pretty good mix.

SS: The album is called Space Cadet. There are nine songs. How many did you write?

I wrote eight. Dan Collins wrote one. Its called “Maher.” It’s a great addition to the album. The actual group process was very collaborative. It would be a total lie to say I came up with everything. Those guys definitely had input and helped pull the pieces together, which I think is really cool. I play with these guys because of who they are. It’s not just a bass player, it’s Steeno. It’s not just any drummer; it’s Bryan. I'm not just a guy up there holding a shiny instrument.

I'll be honest I'm not the greatest writer in the world, but I'm trying to get better with each thing I do. And that’s what I love about

these guys too. I love to listen to the guys play. Sometimes I just like to step back and watch them go.

SS: I've told you how I feel about the album.

What are your thoughts when you listen to the album? Do you feel that it is comparable to other contemporary jazz artists?

Really, it’s hard to wrap my head around it because I produced it. I've listened to this goddamn thing I don't know how many times. It’s a place to start. I'm happy with how it’s mixed and how it sounds. The playing from the guys is so cool. Bryan Zannotti, the youngest member, kicked the shit out of this one. I don't know if you can say that on paper, but he blew it away. Dan Collins brought his A game and Steeno is always rock solid. And I guess I did OK, too.

At A Glance WHAT: Jim Piela Quartet CD release WHERE: Pump House, 119 King St. WHEN: Saturday, May 7. Reception at 6 p.m.; concert at 7 p.m.

TICKETS: $22 in advance, $25 at the door ONLINE: www.jimpiela.com

8// May 5, 2011

Second Supper

MUSIC

music directory // May 6 to May 12

FRIDAY,

just a roadie away

May 6

Madison

CARGILL ROOM // 328 Front St.

population

Steven Marking (Duke Ellington/ Frank Sinatra Tribute) • 7 p.m.

JLUCINDA WILLIAMS // MAY 20 Overture Hall • $35-$45

NORTH SIDE OASIS // 620 Gillette St. Town & Country (reunion show) • 9 p.m.

JASON ISBELL & THE 400 UNIT // MAY 27 High Noon Saloon • $15

NEUIE'S VARSITY CLUB // 1920 Ward Ave. Seth Bohan with Abbey Lane and the Backbone (rock) • 9 p.m.

WOOKIEFOOT // JUNE 10 Majestic Theatre • $10 DALE EARNHARDT JR. JR. // JUNE 16 Memorial Union Terrace • Free

PEARL STREET BREWERY // 1401 St. Andrew St.

Dave Orr (man about town) • 5 p.m.

PIGGY'S BLUES LOUNGE // 501 Front St. S. Doghouse Jon & the Misbehavers (blues) • 8 p.m.

Say one thing about Hives Inquiry Squad, La Crosse’s favorite expatriate rappers, they were never ones to think small.

Now relocated to Portland, Ore., the duo will be returning to town next Wednesday to promote their spacey and often excellent new album, Edifice. It’s only a one day homecoming, but they will make the most of their time in town by performing an all-ages show at the Root Note beginning at 6 p.m. Then at 9 p.m., they’ll roll over to the place where it all began: Wu Tang Wednesday at the Joint with a slew of local rappers in town. Sounds just like old times.

POPCORN TAVERN // 308 S. Fourth St. Nimbus (prog, trance) • 10 p.m.

RIVER JACK'S //1835 Rose St. Memory Brothers (classic rock) • 8 p.m.

RECREATIONAL EAGLE CENTER // (UWL) Jason Derulo, T.U.G.G. (R&B) • 7 p.m.

THE MUSE THEATER // 1353 Avon St. A Tribute to Allman Brothers (Live at Fillmore East) • 7:30 p.m.

THE JOINT // 324 Jay St. Sena Ehrhardt Band (blues) • 10 p.m.

THE WATERFRONT TAVERN // 328 Front St. Costello & Hipps (folk, lounge) • 8 p.m.

SATURDAY,

May 7

JB'SSPEAKEASY // 717 Rose St. Lollipop Factory, Fuzzy HD (garage rock) • 10 p.m.

NEUIE'S VARSITY CLUB // 1920 Ward Ave. Poprocks (pop) • 9 p.m.

PIGGY'S BLUES LOUNGE // 501 Front St. S. Doghouse Jon & the Misbehavers (blues) • 8 p.m.

POPCORN TAVERN // 308 S. Fourth St. Shoeless Revolution (rock, pop) • 10 p.m.

PUMP HOUSE // 119 King St. Jim Piela Quartet (CD release) • 6 p.m.

RED PINES BAR & GRILL // W7305 Hwy Z Guitar Logic (acoustic) • 7:30 p.m.

208,054

THE JOINT // 324 Jay St. Cheech and the Family Band, Kin Pickin' (Allman Bros. afterparty) • 10 p.m.

THE ROOT NOTE // 114 4th St. S. Neon, Ruben, Brahman Shaman (local indie rock) • 8:30 p.m.

MONDAY,

May 9

DEL’S BAR // 229 Third St. Open Jam • 10 p.m POPCORN TAVERN // 308 S. Fourth St. Shawn's Open jam • 10 p.m.

TUESDAY,

May 10

POPCORN TAVERN // 308 S. Fourth St. Paulie (returns to Tuesday) • 10 p.m.

WEDNESDAY,

May 11

THE VIEW // N3020 Hwy. 16 Down To Earth Bluegrass Band (Ken- BOOT HILL PUB // 1501 St. Andrew St. tucky Derby Party) • 6 p.m.

Jerry Anderson and Neil Duresky (lounge) • 5:30 p.m.

THE WATERFRONT TAVERN // 328 Front St. Costello & Hipps (folk, lounge) • 8 p.m. CAVALIER LOUNGE // 114 5th Ave. N. Reggae vs. Hip Hop (rare vinyl) • 10 p.m.

WHO’S ON THIRD// 126 3rd.

The Kokopellians (jamgrass) • 9 p.m.

DEL’S BAR // 229 Third St. Travis Oppelt (rock) • 10 p.m.

THE WAREHOUSE // 324 Pearl St. Serpents, Micawber, Controller, Apol- JB'SSPEAKEASY // 717 Rose St. lyon (“The Anti Prom”) • 7 p.m.

Hives Inquiry Squad, Abadawn, Another Exoneration, Cool Kids Committee, Tyde the Omega, Random SUNDAY, Thoughts (hip-hop) • 10 p.m.

ENGLISH LUTHERAN CHURCH// 1509 King St. MY SECOND HOME // 2104 George St. UW-L Choral Union (“Requiem”) • 6 p.m.

Northside Jam • 6 p.m.

May 8

BILL CALLAHAN // JULY 7 Memorial Union Terrace • Free RAY LAMONTAGNE // JULY 7 Overture Hall • $29.50-$49.50

POPCORN TAVERN // 308 S. Fourth St. Dave Orr (man about town) • 10 p.m.

RECOVERY ROOM // 901 7th St. S. Kin Pickin' (jam grass) • 10 p.m.

THE ROOT NOTE // 114 4th St. S. Hives Inquiry Squad (hip-hop) • 6 p.m.

THE VIEW // N3020 Hwy. 16 Down To Earth Bluegrass Band (Kentucky Derby Party) • 6 p.m.

THURSDAY,

May 12

CAVALIER LOUNGE // 114 5th Ave. N. Click Track (dance rock) • 9 p.m.

DEL’S BAR // 229 Third St. Luke Hembd & Cheech (blues) • 10 p.m POPCORN TAVERN // 308 S. Fourth St. TBA • 10 p.m.

THE ROOT NOTE // 114 4th St. S. Open Mic Night • 8:30 p.m.

THE STARLITE LOUNGE // 222 Pearl St. Kies and Kompanie (jazz) • 5 p.m.

THE WAREHOUSE // 324 Pearl St. Go Radio, Sparks the Rescue, This Century (rock) • 6 p.m.

Second Supper

The Beer Review Two Women New Glarus Brewing Company New Glarus, Wisconsin Should you decide to treat your mum to a few rounds at her favorite watering hole this Mother’s Day, may I recommend New Glarus’ Two Women lager? It’s a nice sessionable beer, in case your mom is a bit of a lightweight, and it’s ever so easy on the palette. But more than just its drinkability, Two Women is advertised as a celebration of femininity and motherhood. In the testosterone fueled world of American craft beer, this release features the collaboration of two women-led companies: New Glarus (with partner/owner Deb Carey) and Weyermann Malting (headed by Sabine Weyermann).

Of course, some of my self-proclaimed manly readers might quibble with this selection. Two Women, New Glarus’ latest year-round release, breaks the brewery’s streak of bold new beers (more on that next week). I’ve heard people knock it for being fairly one-dimensional, but I’ve actually been starving for a decent Pilsner, and this is the rare American Pils that skews to the German rather than the Czech style. More than anything, Two Women is a nice gateway lager in a sea of microbrewed ales (perhaps inspired by the runaway success of Capital Brewery’s Supper Club). So if you’ve never seen your mom vary from her beloved Miller Lites, hand her a Two Women and tell her you love her.

Purchase: Six-pack of Two Women lager from Festival Foods, $7.79 Style: German Pilsner

Strength: 5 percent ABV Packaging: The central image on the twotone pink label depicts two young ladies from old Europe carrying beer grains, while side text recounts women’s role in the development of modern brewing.

Appearance: The beer pours a translucent brown, darker than Czech Pilsners, with a voluminous foamy white head that sticks to the side of the glass.

Aroma: The bouquet smells like cereal, most specifically Whole Grain Cheerios, with a nice topping of noble hops. More than most Pilsners, malts dominate the nose, making this a little closer to a Marzen.

Taste: Two Women has an easy sweetness of caramel, cracked wheat bread and rich roasted malts, with that distinct New Glarus ester at the finish (think Staghorn or Back Forty bock). For a German Pilsner, this is an

MONDAY

TUESDAY

WEDNESDAY

$2 BBQ Pork Sliders

2-Fers, Buy any regularly priced food item and get one of equal or lesser value for free

$4 Rueben Sliders

$1 Wells, $5 Domestic pitchers All specials 9 p.m. to close

Wristband Night: AUC2D domestic taps, rail mixers, Long Islands. All specials 9 p.m. to close

15-cent wings, $1.50 Keystone Lights, $1.50 rail mixers; $2.50 call drinks. 2 For 1 Captains All specials 9 p.m. to close.

Wristband Night: AUC2D, Domestic $1 Bazooka Joes, $2 Cherry Bombs, $1 Bazooka Joes, $2 Cherry Bombs, taps, rail mixers and Long Islands. $3 Long Islands, $3 3 Olives Mixers $3 Long Islands, $3 Bacardi Mixers $2.50 SoCo & Jack.

All specials 9 to close.

All specials 9 to close.

All specials 9 to close.

5 domestic taps for $1; $2 domestic pitchers

$2 domestic pints and $2 rail mixers; $1 shots of Doctor (3 flavors);

The Best Food & Drink Specials in Town LOCATION

SUNDAY

BODEGA BREW PUB 122 4th St. 782-0677

BROTHERS

CLOSED

306 Pearl St. 784-0522

CARLIE'S ON THIRD

CLOSED

115 3rd St. S 782-7550

EAGLES NEST

$5 domestic pitchers

1914 Campbell Road 782-7764

FEATURES

W3923 State Highway 16 786-9000

FISH'S BAR & GRILL

Bar Menu

CLOSED

FLIPSIDE PUB & GRILL

IMPULSE

214 Main St. 782-6010 www.impulseoflacrosse.com

JB’S SPEAKEASY 717 Rose St. 796-1161

SCHMIDTY’S 3119 State Road 788-5110

SLOOPY'S ALMA MATER

SATURDAY

Fish Tacos: 1 / $2.50, 2 / $5.00, 3 / $6.50.

All specials 9 to close.

$3 Bacardi mixers; $3 Three Olives vocka mixers (8 flavors); $2 domestic pints and $2 rail mixers

Taco buffet 11-2; $1 Pabst bottles and $1 bowling after 9

All you care to eat pizza buffet, 11-2 (Holmen)

All you care to eat fish fry 4-10; un- Prime rib dinner 4-10; limited Glow-N-Bowl $9.99 unlimited Glow-N-Bowl $9.99

Bar Menu

La Crosse's Best Tacos: Beef $2, Chicken $2.50

La Crosse's Best Tacos: Beef $2, Chicken $2.50 Dog in a Diaper, $5

Fish’s Fish Taco $3.50

La Crosse's Best Tacos: Beef $2, Chicken $2.50 Chimis and Burritos, $5

9 p.m. to close: $1.25 rails, $1.75 bottles/cans

9 p.m. to close: $2 Captain mixers, $2 bottles/cans, $3 Jager bombs

9 p.m. to close: $2 Bacardi mixers, $2 domestic pints, $1.50 shots blackberry brandy

Free Wing Night (while supplies last); $5 AUC2D wristbands: domestic taps, rail mixers, Long Islands, 9 p.m. to close ($7 after 11p.m.):; live DJ

$5 AUC2D Wristbands 9 p.m. to close ($10 after 11p.m.): Domestic Taps, Rail Mixers, Long Islands; Live DJ, Dancing 9 p.m. to close

$5 AUC2D Wristbands 9 p.m. to close ($10 after 11p.m.): Domestic Taps, Rail Mixers, Long Islands; Live DJ, Dancing 9 p.m. to close

Happy Hour 5 to 7 p.m.

Happy Hour 5 to 7 p.m.

Happy Hour 5 to 7 p.m.

CLOSED

$1.75 domestic bottles, $1.75 Dom Monday Madness: $1.75 domestics bottles and rails, $2.50 Bombs and rails, $2.50 Bombs, $1 off all top shelf and specialty beers $1.79 burger (after 8 p.m.)

Breakfast 8 a.m. to 2 p.m.

FRIDAY

Free Beer: 5:30-6:30 p.m.

Free Wings: 6:30-7:30 p.m.

Free Bowling: After 9 p.m.

Bar Menu

Ladies Night, $1 off all drinks, 4 to All you can eat boneless wings, inclose; Pint-Aritas $3 (lime or straw- cludes a choice of potatoe, slaw and berry) a frosted pint, 4-9:30 p.m., $8.99

Happy hour 4 to 9 p.m.; 9 p.m. to 9 p.m. to close: $3.50 domestic 9 p.m. to close: $1 rails, $2.50 pitch- $5 all you can drink close: Night Before Class - $3 pitch- pitchers ers, beer pong ers of the beast CLOSED

— Adam Bissen

Happy Hour: 2 for 1 domestic bottles Karaoke 9 p.m. to close and rail drinks, 3 p.m. to 9 p.m.

All you can eat wings, includes a Wisconsin cheese steak sandwich choice of potatoe, slaw and a frosted with a pint of beer, $8.99 pint, 4-9:30 p.m., $8.99

400 Lang Drive 784-2242 1125 La Crosse St. 784-7400

CLOSED

THURSDAY

easy-sipping take on the style. But if like me you prefer the Czech style, you may be disappointed by the cloying finish and lack of hops.

Mouthfeel: Medium- to full-bodied, Two Women is that surprisingly rare beer: one that’s proud to be a lager.

Drinkability: This low-alcohol beer is delicious to guzzle when it’s cool, not such a treat when it warms.

Ratings: BeerAdvocate readers grade this a B+, while RateBeer scores it a surprising 97. I’d recommend Two Women to anyone who is reluctant to try craft beers, also anyone working a grill or lawnmower on a sunny day.

I suppose that would make it a good Father’s Day present, too.

$1.50 domestic taps and rail drinks, Bird Brain Trivia 8 p.m.; $1.50 do- Wing Night - 25-cent wings (dine- $1.50 domestic bottles and rail 4 p.m. to close mestic bottles and rails 4 p.m. to in only); $1 Miller High Life silos and drinks, $2 craft bottles, 4 p.m. to close PBR silos; $1.50 taps and rail drinks; close $2 craft taps. All specials 4 to close.

1452 Caledonia St. 782-6446

HOWIE’S

May 5, 2011 // 9

YOUR GUIDE TO CONSUMPTION

$5 AUC2D wristbands: domestic taps, rail mixers, Long Islands, 9 p.m. to close; ($7 after 11p.m.): karaoke 10 p.m. to close

$5 AUC2D wristbands: domestic taps, rail mixers, Long Islands, 9 p.m. to close; ($7 after 11p.m.): karaoke 10 p.m. to close

Tuesday Boozeday $1 off all liquor Happy Hour 5 to 7 p.m. drinks and 50 cents off all shots, $2 Bombs

Hat Night: Buy 1 drink, get 1 free w/ Rail drinks $2 (4:30 to close); Buckets of beer $10, Boston Bobby's Margaritas $4 (Straw, rasp, mango, hat (4:30 to close); $1.50 chili dogs After 8 p.m. specials: $5 skewer of drummies 10 for $2 (4:30 to close), peach and reg); After 8 p.m. specials: (after 8 p.m.) shrimp,l $1.79 burger, $1.50 chili dogs $1.79 burger (after 8 p.m.) $5 skewer of shrimp, $1.79 burger $1.89 hamburger + toppings Ladies Fish Dinner Special-$7.89 night, 2 for 1 drinks (6-close), Happy Hour 2 to 6 p.m.

Happy Hour 2 to 6 p.m.

$1.50 Tacos, $4.99 nachos; $11 buckets during pro and college football games.

Wristband night, $2 cherry bombs, $3 Bacardi mixers & $4 wristbands 50¢ shots (3 flavors); $2.50 Tuaca, after midnight Jack Daniel's & SoCo Mixers

$3 Three Olives Mixers & $4 wristbands after midnight

$5 Pitchers/$2 bottles of Miller prod- $1.75 Miller/Bud Light Taps, $2.25 $1.75 Rails, $1.50 Domestic Taps, $2 domestic bottles, $2.50 Skyy/ ucts (11-4pm) $2 Corona Bottles, $2 MIcro/Craft Taps, $2.50 Cherry $3.50 Jager Bombs Absolut mixers, $2 Dr. shots (7-1 Kilo Kai Mixers , $3 Bloodys (7-1 a.m.) Bombs (7-1 a.m.)

(7-1 a.m.) a.m.)

5 Domestic Bottles for $10, $5 $2 Captain Mixers, $2. Long Island Micro/Import Bottles $11.50, $7 Mixers, $3 Effen Vodka Mixers (7-1 Micro/Craft Pitchers (7-1 a.m.) a.m.)

$5 Miller/Bud Light Pitchers, $2.25 Leinies Bottles (7-1 a.m.)

POPCORN TAVERN

$2.50 Captain mixers $2 16oz Old Style & Lost Lake cans

$1.75 PBR Bottles $2.50 Captain mixers $2 16oz Old Style & Lost Lake cans

$2.50 Captain mixers $2 16oz Old Style & Lost Lake cans

$2.50 Captain mixers $2 Grain Belt

$2 Coors & Coors Light Bottles, $2.50 $2 16oz Old Style & Lost Lake cans Skyy mixers, $2.50 Captain mixers $2 16oz Old Style & Lost Lake cans

$2 16oz Old Style & Lost Lake cans

WHO'S ON THIRD

Happy Hour until 10 p.m. $1.50 domestic taps, $2 rails from 10 to close

$1.50 taps PBR, $1.50 rails

$2 domestic bottles, $3 call doubles

$2 taps, $3 Jack and Captain doubles

$2 Miller products, $8.50 fish bowls

163 Copeland Ave. 785-0245

THE LIBRARY 123 3rd St. 784-8020

TOP SHOTS 137 4th St. 782-6622 308 4th St. S. 782-9069

126 3rd St. N. 782-9467

$1.50 Tacos, $4.99 nachos;: $11 Tacos: $11 buckets during pro and 12-inch pizza $8.99 buckets during pro and college foot- college football games. Happy Hour Happy Hour 2 to 6 p.m. ball games.

2 to 6 p.m.; $2 pints all day $1 Taps & Rails during the game ; $6 wristbands starting at 7pm.

14-inch pizza, $2 off; Wings Happy Hour 2 to 6 p.m.

Breakfast 8 a.m. to 2 p.m.; lunch buffet 11 a.m. to 2 p.m., $6.99

Half price tequilla, $1 domestic taps K$2 Double rails and all bottles; $3 and rails Double call drinks

$2 domestic taps, $3 Three Olives products

10// May 5, 2011

DIVERSIONS

Maze Efflux

By Erich Boldt

"Not What You Think" Be prepared for some criticism.

By Matt Jones

ACROSS

1 Little mischief

maker 4 Science magazine that folded in the 1990s 8 Make a haze around 13 Like one theory that Shakespeare didn't write all his works 15 Eddie Bunker, in "Reservoir Dogs" 16 It's harvested to make syrup 17 Fill full of bubbles 18 What lexicographers do most of the time?

20 Social conclusion?

23 What some people are slow on 24 Fair-hiring abbr.

25 They get worn on tires 28 Collection of Hindu writings 30 Laser pointer used by that jerk in the audience?

35 Yours, in French 36 ___-Man Chan ("Survivor: Fiji" participant) 37 Godsmack lead vocalist Sully ___ 38 Turn a digit into a zero with your bare hands?

42 Orlando Magic

Second Supper

coach Van Gundy 43 DA's undergrad coursework 44 Quad bike, in the States 47 Sex ed hygiene subject 50 "Hold On Tight" prog-rock band 51 Friends that share in your tacky guilty pleasures?

55 Capital of Canada 56 Get there in no time?

60 2010 solo album from Nick Jonas 61 Some desertscapes 62 Singer Furtado 63 Little bugs 64 Friend's opposite DOWN 1 Watson's creator 2 Baby goat sound 3 Angel dust 4 R.E.M.'s "The ___ Love" 5 Pageant owned by Donald Trump 6 Spingarn Medal awarders 7 Brainstorming session ideas, e.g.

8 Made some suds 9 River in Spain 10 Boater's emergency kit item 11 Top 12 Honkers at a pond 14 Falling apart

15 Cover-up artist?

19 Enjoy, in England 20 "___ be my pleasure!"

21 Threesome 22 Estonia, in Estonian (hidden in BEE STING) 26 Determined by ___ of the coin 27 Falls fast asleep 29 Eagle's nest 31 Baby swan 32 Sorority letter 33 One may be obtuse 34 Taj ___ 39 2001 movie with Sean Penn and Dakota Fanning 40 Military shoulder decoration 41 Low card

44 Rock group System of ___ 45 Give a percentage 46 Acronym for aircraft that can depart from short runways (anagram of VOLTS) 48 Board (a bus) 49 Thabo ___ (South African president, 19992008) 52 It gets wagged 53 Rick on the radio 54 Letters on a sunscreen bottle 57 Not quite right 58 ___ Speedwagon 59 Mao ___-tung Š2011 Jonesin' Crosswords (editor@ jonesincrosswords.com)

Answers to April 28 puzzle "Westerns Philosophy"—One comes to mind.

Second Supper

May 5, 2011 // 11

LA CROSSE’S NEWEST & TRUEST PUB & EATERY WITHOUT THE FRANCHISE! • La Crosse • Sparta • Richland Center • Prairie du Chien

614 Main St., La Crosse, WI 54601 Phone: (608) 782-7001 Online: secondsupper.com

Birth Control Services Annual Exams for Women STD Testing & Treatment for Men and Women Pregnancy Testing Emergency Contraception

Publisher: Roger Bartel roger.bartel@secondsupper.com Editor in Chief: Adam Bissen adam.bissen@secondsupper.com Student Editor: Emily Faeth emily.faeth@secondsupper.com Sales: Mike Keith mike.keith@secondsupper.com Sales: Ansel Ericksen ansel.ericksen@secondsupper.com Sales: Michael Butteris michael.butteris@secondsupper.com

Call for an appointment today!

800.657.5177

Helping create healthy lives and families.

Monday: All U Can Eat Wings includes choice of potato, slaw and a $8.99 frosted Pint. 4-9:30

Tuesday: Wisconsin cheese steak sandwich with a frosted Pint. $8.99

Wednesday: Ladies Night, $1 Off All Drinks 4-Cl. Pint-Aritas $3.00 (lime or strawberry)

Thursday:

Karaoke on Thursdays

All U Can Eat Wings includes choice of potato, slaw and a frosted Pint. 4-9:30 $8.99

8 Plasma TV’s • Food & Drink Specials

www.optionsclinic.org

e o

Regular Contributors: Amy Alkon, Erich Boldt, Jenn Bushman, Nick Cabreza, Mary Catanese, Jason Crider, Ashly Conrad, Ben DeLine, Marcel Dunn, Brett Emerson, Shuggypop Jackson, Jonathan Majak, Matt Jones, Briana Rupel, Julie Schneider, Stephanie Schultz, Nate Willer

Bucket and s Food Specials For All Nascar Races!

Second Supper is a weekly alternative newspaper published by Bartanese Enterprises LLC, 614 Main St., La Crosse, WI 54601

400 Lang Drive, La Crosse T HE F

20222585jg

(Across From Menards) 784-2242

’S UB

!

top shots joke of the week How does a jazz musician end up with a million dollars?

By starting out with two million dollars.

Check out our new Beers on Tap!

Good People, Good Drinks, Good Times

SUNDAY

$5 Pitchers $2 Bottles of Miller Products (11-4 pm) $2 Corona Bottles $2 Kilo Kai Mixers $3 Bloody’s (7-1am)

MONDAY

$1.75 - Miller/Bud Taps $2.25 Micro/Craft Taps $2.50 Cherry Bombs (7-1am)

TUESDAY

$1.75 Rails $1.50 Domestic Taps $3.50 Jager Bombs (7-1am)

SATURDAY

WEDNESDAY

$2 Domestic Bottles $2.50 Skyy/Absolute Mixers $2 Dr. Shots (7-1am)

THURSDAY

5 Domestic Bottles 4 $10 $5 Micro/Import Bottles $11.50, $7 Micro/Craft Pitchers (7-1am)

$5 Miller Lite/Bud Light Pitchers $2.25 Leinies Bottles (7-1am)

FRIDAY

$2 Captain Mixers $2 Long Islands Mixers (7-1am)

12// May 5, 2011

The Advice Goddess

By Amy Alkon amy.alkon@secondsupper.com So, his wild oats

I offhandedly mentioned to a friend that I thought her married brother was really cute.

She revealed that his divorce (from a 10-year marriage) would soon be final. (It will be at the end of this month.) She then played matchmaker.

He and I have been dating for three months.

Things were going fabulously — until a few nights ago. We were picking a movie to watch on his laptop, and I noticed one of his browser pages was opened to Match.com. He saw that I saw it but said nothing. The thought that he’s continuing his search for romance hurts. I feel like I'm not good enough. I've gone from being comfortable seeing where this goes to wanting to have the “define the relationship” talk. Am I being irrational? Should I just try to relax? (Of course, he could’ve been on Match because he’s canceling his membership or tying up loose ends.)

— Beside Myself

Second Supper

THE LAST WORD

Sure, the guy could’ve been on Match to cancel his membership — or to inflate his salary and height. He’s just getting out of a 10-year marriage. This is the time for a man to play the field — or, in Tennyson’s words, “When sprung, a young man’s fancy turns to ill-advised sex with a string of bar sluts.”

Whoops, just as he was about to finish picking the lock on his ball and chain, up popped you. He likes you, he’s having fun with you, but the timing is still the timing.

Instead of expecting him to take himself off the market before he’s even signed his divorce papers, consider that his comparison shopping is not only in his best interest but yours. If, after seeing who’s out there, he comes back to you, it’s because he wants you for all the things you are, as opposed to the one thing you’re not: his almost-ex-wife.

Of course you want to nail down a good thing — especially when you suspect it’s been trolling the Internet for your replacement.

But, having the “define the relationship” talk at this point would most likely define the relationship right out of existence. You can’t make a man commit. What you can do is make the most out of whatever time you have together — which takes accepting that things end and that you can’t order up love without the risks: “I’ll take the candle-lit dinners, regular sex, and somebody to snake the drain — but no heartbreak, no pickles, and a Diet Coke with three ice cubes.”

It’s actually when you stop trying to hang on to a guy and you just try to have fun hanging out that he’s more likely to want to

stick around. Tell this guy you understand his situation and the timing, and just ask whether he’s dating other women. He should get the sense that you aren’t somebody he can put on hold indefinitely, and you should set up some sort of cutoff date in your own mind to ensure that he won’t. Meanwhile, if he isn’t exclusive to you, you should make yourself a little less available. Give him a chance to miss you. In time, maybe he’ll be all yours — or maybe he won’t. If you need a guarantee, date a washing machine. You can tell people you met online — on Sears.com: “I flirted with a Whirlpool first, but he had me at 30 percent off until midnight.”

will fall into place. She’ll get interesting.

Sexual attraction will come. Or, maybe that’s what you tell yourself to keep those cucumber facials coming. You obviously have minimum standards for a girlfriend.

Hold them up to women you meet, and ditch those who don’t measure up — before they spend two years waiting on Your Royal Highness. Unfortunately, the love you now have will be hard to replace. Unless, of course, you can score an appointment at the corner massage place, buy yourself dinner afterward, and, on your way home, stop off at the drugstore for some Biore face strips.

Fade to blackhead

My girlfriend is cute, but I’ve never really been attracted to her or found her intellectually interesting. Perhaps it’s unfair that I’ve stayed for so long (two and a half years), but there’s much I love and admire about her. She’s compassionate, ethical, good-humored, and patient, and she treats me like a king — cooks extraordinary meals, gives me backrubs and rejuvenating skin care treatments. Is there hope for us?

—Pampered

There’s much you love and admire about your girlfriend — like the way she plucks those little stray hairs from between your brows. Just think where you’d be without her. Well, probably in a sexually and intellectually fulfilling relationship, but with much larger pores. Maybe you believe that if you like a woman as a person, everything

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