INSIDE: CHECK OUT THE BEST FOOD AND DRINK SPECIALS IN TOWN • PAGE 13
ALSO ... Umphrey guitarist unplugs for 30db Page 9
La Crosse's Free Press VOLUME 10, NO. 17 | MAY 6, 2010
PHOTO BY MARY CATANESE
We Share Our Favorite most important meals of the day
Breakfast page 6
PLUS: SOCIAL NETWORKING • PAGE 5 | BUSINESS NETWORKING • PAGE 5 | THE ADVICE GODDESS • PAGE 12
2// May 6, 2010
Second Supper
Dispatches from HQ
New logo latest step in DMI Web site overhaul
The online wags were already busy Wednesday morning offering mixed reviews to Downtown Main Street Inc.'s new icon and motto, unveiled in a brief ceremony Tuesday evening by Executive Director Tim Kabut in the Community Room of the People's Food Co-op, 315 5th Ave. S. "We really need a brand, a new, unique identity," Kabut said prior to the unveiling. But although some residents apparently were not impressed, those attending the unveiling were unanimous in their praise of the new logo, which was created by a DMI committee working with Harvest Moon Advertising. The artwork includes the Mississippi River, bluffs and old-style lamp posts. Harvest Moon officials explained that the theme line identifies the attractions of downtown: celebrating the residential opportunities (live), encouraging residents and visitors alike to see what's happening downtown (look) and acknowledging people often become enamored with life here (love). The logo is the most recent step in DMI's two-year project to overhaul and update its Web site, which should be complete in June and will include several enhancements, such as social networking opportunities. Kabut said the logo hopefully also will someday adorn banners throughout the downtown. The logo also will be flexible enough for changes - such as a night scene and seasonal artwork - to help promote specific events. "Our primary goal with the new logo is to re-brand, refresh and promote Historic Downtown La Crosse to shoppers, employees, residents, potential businesses, visitors and tourists alike," Kabut said in a media advisory, "and we believe our new logo and brand will do just that."
Second Supper
Things To Do Share a life lesson with your mother
The Top
Breakfast adjectives 1. Lumberjack 2. Country 3. Hearty 4. American 5. Scrumptious 6. Continental 7. Complete Neil Young albums 1. Tonight's the Night 2. After the Gold Rush 3. Live Rust 4. Harvest 5. Everybody Knows This Is Nowhere 6. Rust Never Sleeps 7. Prairie Wind
May 6, 2010 // 3
FIRST THINGS FIRST
Three Boomer Broads' show titled "What Our Mothers Never Told Us" seems like the ideal show to celebrate Mother's Day weekend. Apparently, we're not the only ones who think that, as the show tonight, May 6, at the Pump House Regional Arts Center, 119 King St., is already sold out. Tickets ($14 advance, $17 day of show) remain, however, for the 7:30 p.m. shows Friday and Saturday, May 7 and 8. Accomplished storytellers Sara Slayton, Terry Visger and Lynn Wing return to the Pump House stage to blend sounds, sights and stories offering humorous, sometimes poignant, always refreshingly honest accounts of being raised by "traditional" mothers during the 1950s and 1960s. For information, call (608) 785-143. The Pump House is open from noon to 5 p.m. Tuesday through Friday and noon to 4 p.m. Saturday.
1
Get off your buns and grab a wiener
Puns and buns await you as Wienerfest celebrates the end of winter with its annual party on the South Side Oktoberfest grounds Saturday, May 8. Tickets are $8 in advance at the Oktoberfest grounds and Festival Foods locations; tickets are $10 the day of the event. The first 2,000 tickets also receive free wieners. Wienerfest, sponsored by Bakalars Sausage Co. and others, celebrates the hot dog as an enduring symbol of summer fun. Live music begins at 3:30 p.m. when Pat McCurdy takes the stage. He is followed by Flashback at 5:30 p.m. and Hairball at 9 p.m. For information, send e-mail to info@wienerfestlacrosse.com or visit http://www.wienerfestlacrosse.com.
2
End the school year with a laugh
Comedian Justin Berkman will bring his act to UW-La Crosse at 7 p.m. Thursday, May 6, in the Cellar in the Cartwright Center. The show is free. Justin Berkman is described on the UW-La Crosse Campus Activities Board schedule as an emerging stand-up comedian whose comedy is as unique as his journey to the stage. A former collegiate gymnast, Berkman also worked as a Jamba Juice Smoothie engineer and Trivial Pursuit question writer before getting some attention as a comedian after appearing on MTV's "Yo Mamma." That three-time gig led to other television and tour work, including being featured as the headliner for the New Generation of Comedy Tour.
3
Celebrate with a train
4
Hey, you probably forgot to send a card. Nevertheless, you're invited to help celebrate ... National Train Day. There will be cake, cookies, coffee, juice, prizes and music by Dan Emurian from 1 to 4 p.m. Saturday, May 8, at the La Crosse Amtrak Depot, 601 St. Andrew St. The event also includes video displays of sleeping care interiors, videos of Empire Building Route, railroad books and clothing for sale, toy train display, clowns and balloons.
Remember, variety is the spice of life
5
The Old School Variety Show at the Grand Hotel Ballroom this weekend is just that: a mix of entertainment styles and acts that crams a lot of talent into a single show. Beginning at 8 p.m., the show features storyteller Michael Scott, Mike Caucutt, Nancy Stoll, magician Robert Ruse, actress Claire Ganshert and bluegrass band Fayme Rochelle and the Waxwings. Show times are 8 p.m. Thursday, Friday and Saturday in the ballroom, above The Pearl, 207 Pearl St. Tickets are $12 for 21 and older.
4// May 6, 2010
Second Supper
COMMENTARY
The WisPolitics.com Week in Review STOCK REPORT
RISING Leggie retirements
CLASSIFIEDS FREE RENT: Campus Housing, 4 & 5 bedroom units, single bedrooms available. Contact (608)7823776 and ask about our “free rent” special! HELP WANTED: Second Supper needs a reliable independent contractor to deliver papers each Thursday. Pay averages about $10 per hour. You must provide your own transportation. Call Roger at (608) 782-7001. HELP WANTED: Second Supper seeks a part-time sales account representative. Must be outgoing, organized and able to meet weekly deadlines. Monday-Tuesday afternoon/evening hours required. Send application to advertising@secondsupper.com. To advertise, call (608) 782-7001
Second Supper 614 Main St., La Crosse, WI 54601 Phone: (608) 782-7001 Online: secondsupper.com Publisher: Roger Bartel roger.bartel@secondsupper.com Editor in Chief: Adam Bissen adam.bissen@secondsupper.com Student Editor: Emily Faeth emily.faeth@secondsupper.com Sales: Mike Keith mike.keith@secondsupper.com Sales: Jenaveve Bell jenaveve.bell@secondsupper.com Sales: Ansel Ericksen ansel.ericksen@secondsupper.com Contributors: Amy Alkon, Erich Boldt, Nick Cabreza, Brett Emerson, Jake Groteuschen, Shuggypop Jackson, Matt Jones, Carolyn Ryan, Stephanie Schultz, Anna Soldner
At least 18 lawmakers will be leaving their seats — including longtime northern Dem Rep. Mary Hubler — either for retirement or to pursue another office. Counting Hubler, who announced her decision Monday, the list of Assembly and Senate members leaving includes 11 on the GOP side, six for the Dems and one independent, Rep. Jeff Wood of Chippewa Falls. Insiders are watching to see if more will decide to leave before the filing deadline this summer. But there are already more departures planned than occurred in 2008, when seven Republicans and six Dems retired. The departures are playing into GOP and Dem campaign plans, especially with 2010 looking like a Republican year. In the Assembly, nine Republicans, five Dems and Wood are retiring or leaving for a shot at another office. In the Senate, it's two Republicans and one Dem.
Census
Skepticism about the census is running high, but not in Wisconsin. The Badger State scores an 81 percent response rate to the census mail campaign — the highest rate in the country. Minnesota, at 80 percent, was the only other state to break into the 80s. The national rate was 72 percent. While a Census official called Wisconsin’s display of civic participation “incredible,” the state actually fell 1 percent short of its 2000 response rate.
FALLING Gray wolf
The controversial animal has been pulled from the federal endangered species list repeatedly over the last five years only to be put back on after legal challenges. With the gray wolf population in Wisconsin now at 700 — more than twice the DNR’s management goal — state officials join Minnesota in asking the U.S. Fish and Wildlife Services to remove the gray wolf from the list again. So long as it stays on the list, Wisconsin can’t fully go after problem wolves, which kill domesticated animals and deer.
Doctor discipline
A new national report from the liberal-leaning Public Citizen ranks Wisconsin among the worst states in the country for punishing doctors who commit serious violations of medical malpractice. For the third year in a row, the report ranks Wisconsin 50th out of 50 states and the District of Columbia for serious disciplinary actions like license revocations and suspensions with 1.5 actions per thousand physicians. Critics of the report say comparisons from state to state aren’t necessarily valid because of the different classifications states use, and there’s no correlation between punishing doctors and quality health care.
THAT'S DEBATABLE
Editor's Note: WisOpinion.com has asked two veterans of Wisconsin policy and politics, Scot Ross of One Wisconsin Now and Brian Fraley of the John K. MacIver Institute for Public Policy, to engage in weekly exchanges on a topic of their choosing. In this installment of "That's Debatable," Fraley and Ross debate the recently completed legislative session. Ross: And so we come to the end of the legislative session. Faced with the worst economic collapse since the 1930s due to the failed policies of the Bush administration — and with opposition of a vocal Republican minority dead-set on continuing these failed policies, Gov. Jim Doyle and the Democrats leading the state Legislature balanced the budget, expanded access to health care for tens and tens of thousands and effectively invested Recovery Act funds to save, create and fund almost 50,000 jobs. Fraley: The only truthful part of your statement is that Jim Doyle is, indeed, the governor of Wisconsin. Ross: Brian, that’s a decidedly Palinesque response: brief, but expansive in its utter lack of connection with fact or reality. The Democrats did inherit a historic mess from the Republicans. They did manage to stop the bleeding without raising income taxes on anyone earning less than $225,000. Nearly 98 percent of Wisconsinites will have access to health care. And top priorities that support the middle class were protected and, in some instances, even improved. De-
nying the GOP’s reckless responsibility for creating the failures after controlling Congress for a dozen years and the nightmare of profligacy under Bush is akin to denying the certainty of the sun rising and the moisture of water. Fraley: Scot, spinning the last legislative session as one that was good for business is the worst attempt to market an awful idea since the debut of New Coke 25 years ago today. A few targeted tax incentives passed in an election year can not erase the absolutely awful anti-business track record the Wisconsin Democrats established in 2009. A $66 million tax on computer software, the $215 million tax of combined reporting, a $40 million tax on transactions between affiliated businesses, a $55 million tax on domestic production activities, an $80 million tax on throwback sales, etc. And if your number crunchers at One Wisconsin Now think the budget is balanced, I would suggest they’ve been spending too much time socializing with Jeff Wood. In fact, it left us with a structural deficit of more than $2 billion. The budget had $3.63 billion in increased spending, $2.05 billion increased taxes, fees, enhanced collections, included $3.58 billion of borrowing and opened the window for local property tax hikes in excess of $1.5 billion. So, as unemployment continues to eat into the foundation of the workforce and as taxes continue to rise, you understand why people laugh and gag at the notion that this legislature was good for Wisconsin's economy.
POLITICAL NEWS IN BRIEF Walker camp attacks Neumann over phone calls
Democrats bring push for financial reform to Wisconsin
A backer of gubernatorial hopeful Scott Walker has filed a complaint against his Republican rival over what she says was a misleading phone call she received. Kathy Kiernan of Richfield, who donated to Walker’s campaign last year, filed the complaint with the Government Accountability Board over phone calls. She said the caller asked her if she was a delegate to the state GOP convention and how she felt about endorsing candidates at the convention. She wrote in her complaint she asked the person who he was calling for, and he said the "Republican Party." State law requires those making political calls to disclose who’s sponsoring the calls. Mark Neumann’s campaign has acknowledged making the calls, but said callers were instructed to identify themselves as Neumann backers. Delegates to the state convention May 21-23 will vote on whether to endorse a candidate in the GOP primaries for governor, lieutenant governor and U.S. Senate. A candidate must win the support of at least 60 percent of delegates to nab the party’s endorsement.
Vice President Joseph Biden and U.S. Treasury Secretary Timothy Geithner said at a recent stop in Milwaukee that new financial "rules with teeth, enforced by people who care" are needed to prevent the recession from morphing into a depression. "This is an important cause; it’s a just cause, and this requires reform," Geithner told more than 500 people at a UW-Milwaukee meeting. Geithner said the components of the proposed "Wall Street Reform and Consumer Protection Act" won’t satisfy everyone, "but they will fix what caused this crisis, and they will make future crises less likely and less damaging." Biden said he doubts anybody disagrees that Wall Street reform is needed, saying, "When one stretch of skyscrapers on one street in downtown Manhattan can bring down the entire economy, not only here but around the world, putting hard-working Americans out of work, through no fault of their own, I might add, I think it’s time the rules of the game change so we can update the rules for the 21st century." The state GOP put out a statement claiming the Obama administration was in damage control mode trying to spin its record on job creation.
Second Supper
Dispatches from HQ Altra Chicken Q benefits financial literacy efforts
Consider the chicken you eat today an investment in the future. The Altra Foundation Inc. is holding a Chicken Q featuring Pogy's chicken from 11 a.m. to 6 p.m. today (or until it's gone) at Altra's La Crosse office, 2715 Losey Blvd. S. Tickets, available at all Altra offices as well as the Chicken Q, are $8. The Chicken Q is a major fundraiser for the foundation's financial literacy education efforts, which help young people and adults develop the knowledge and skills to establish .financial goals, budget, manage debt, save,
Social Networking NAME AND AGE: Carmen Guerrero; 20 years, 11 months
invest, and maintain good credit. The Altra Foundation provides funding for and sponsors a variety of teacher education experiences at all grade levels, sponsors financial literacy classes for high school students, organizes and maintains a speakers bureau for local schools, sponsors financial aid seminars for high school students, and supports financial literacy classes for adults. This year, the foundation is awarding 13 $500 scholarships and sending three local high school teachers to a week-long summer financial literacy education training session. For information, call Katie at (608)7874542..
Coffee, or Dr. Pepper WHAT BOOK ARE YOU CURRENTLY READING? "The Sandman: Book of Dreams," by Neil Gaiman
WHERE WERE YOU BORN? Lincoln, Nebraska CURRENT JOB: Jimmy Johns DREAM JOB: Screenwriter/cinematographer
TELL US YOUR GUILTIEST PLEASURE: Anything with SUGAR in it ... but mostly chocolate!
LAST THING YOU GOOGLED: "Making up a changing Mind"
WHAT IS YOUR BIGGEST PET PEEVE?
IF YOU COULD LIVE ANYWHERE IN THE WORLD, WHERE WOULD IT BE? Harajuku, Tokyo, Japan WHAT IS SOMETHING YOU WANT TO DO BEFORE YOU DIE? Patten one of my more brilliant ideas.
Clowns. TELL US A JOKE: What does a blind, deaf, quadriplegic baby get for Christmas? Cancer. WHAT'S THE LAST THING YOU BOUGHT? Stuff at Smoke 4 Less
IF A GENIE GRANTED YOU ONE WISH, WHAT WOULD YOU ASK FOR? Wings
WHAT'S IN YOUR POCKET RIGHT NOW?: Trash, a bobbypin, and a lighter, oh, and a nickel.
CELEBRITY CRUSH: Johnny Depp
WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE PART OF SECOND SUPPER? The Maze!, and Shuggy, of course
FIRST CONCERT YOU WENT TO: Destiny's Child
HOW DO YOU KNOW SHUGGY (INTERVIEWER)? Pearl Street introduced us.
WHAT IS YOUR BEVERAGE OF CHOICE?
May 6, 2010 // 5
COMMUNITY
— Shuggypop Jackson, shuggypop.jackson@secondsupper.com
Business Networking NAME AND AGE: Kristina Woyicki, 35 Occupation: CT technologist ( Computerized Tomography). What do you do? I take X-rays and perform CT scans used for the purpose of diagnosis and treatment.
patient. Not to mention, gratitude from my patients keeps me coming back and happy with my career choice. Least favorite part: It can be emotional and heartbreaking. It reminds me to count my blessings.
Education: Winona State University; Western Technical College — associate's degree in Applied Science
Any helpful advice for those considering a similar career? This job can be high energy and you need to think fast on your feet. Remember, your patient is always your number one priority.
Employer Franciscan Skemp Hospital
Where's your favorite lunch spot? Some place quiet.
Why did you choose this field? I enjoy being a crucial part of a medical team. My job is rewarding, demanding and always has opportunity for continual learning.
Favorite way to unwind? Spending time with my 2-year-old daughter.
One interesting fact about your job: EVERYTHING! Creating images with ionizing radiation is very fascinating. Radiology has come a long way since the first X-ray produced in 1895 by Wilhelm Conrad Rontgen. Describe your typical day: I work the night hours, so my work day begins at 11:30 p.m. I am available in the hospital for emergency and emergent in-patient radiology exams. Favorite part of job? Knowing that my work is instrumental in the diagnosis of the
Any interesting knickknacks in your office? My "office," or department, is fairly new and quite state of the art! The only knickknacks I can find are tons of books on organs, bones, pathology and body systems. Where do you see yourself in 10 years? Doing the same type of work and keeping current with the constant changes and medical advancement in radiology. How do you know Shannon, last month's interview? "We worked at the same place in college and have been friends ever since." — Compiled by Anna Soldner, anna.soldner@secondsupper.com
6// May 6, 2010
Supper specials
Second Supper
COMMUNITY
We share our favorite breakfasts ROSIE'S CAFE
2225 S. 16th St. South Side La Crosse More often than not, when the morning sun streams through my window, I crawl out from underneath the cozy covers motivated by one thing: breakfast. On the days I feel like treating myself, I cruise over to Rosie's Cafe. Established in 1984, the quaint South Side cafe typifies Midwestern hospitality. Immediately upon entering, a genuinely welcoming server smiles as she gestures toward a booth, menus in one hand, and a steaming carafe of coffee already in the other. Along with the kind of warmth you'd receive at your favorite aunt's house, the authentic home cookin' is what brings every first-timer back for more. For the best well-rounded example of what Rosie's has to offer, order up "The Deuce." For a mere $4.99, you'll be served a platter of two eggs done your way, two pieces of meat (I'd recommend their perfectly crisp bacon), two pancakes, and thickly sliced toast, baked onsite. For something less basic, try the new Loaded Baked Potato Skillet, a pile of country-style potatoes, eggs, shredded cheese, onions, bacon, topped with a dollop of sour cream. Veteran visitors of Rosie's should note its now non-smoking atmosphere, so please don't try to light up while you wait for your breakfast. Instead, sip your coffee and quiz your friends with the Trivial Pursuit cards stacked at your table. Breakfast has never been this smart. — Briana Rupel
MARGE’S ON ROSE
833 Rose St. North Side La Crosse
It may not exactly be La Crosse’s “best” breakfast, but Unk’s Mess ($7.25 with toast, $7.75 with cheese) certainly is the biggest. Weighing in at around 5 pounds, this monstrosity of potatoes, eggs, onions, green peppers and ham is more like a test of wills than a meal. Should you belly up before a
ON THE COVER Cassie Risberg finishes preparing a breakfast at Rosie's Cafe, on South 16th Street.
PHOTO BY MARY CATANESE
"I want to know how much you want to bury that story?" longtime Rosie's customer Rick Andres pleads with the photographer working on the story about our favorite breakfasts. "I'm serious," he continues, "if you do a story about it, it'll get too busy. We won't be able to park, and we'll need a shuttle." Starla Stellick (left) has been with Rosie's for 26 or 27 years, "since she was on the North Side. " Cassie Risberg (right) is Rosie's granddaughter and started working for her when she was 13. heaping platter, 8 inches in diameter and 3 inches tall, expect the regulars at Marge’s on Rose to wish to you luck — or playfully heckle you when you inevitably come up short. As for the food itself, well let’s just say it’s not Adkins friendly. By a rough estimate it’s about 85 percent potatoes, with the occasional green pepper popping out of the brown mountain. The ham is pretty tasty, perfectly cured and chewy, so it’s a bit of a treat when you actually do get a bite. As for eggs, there’s only two in the entire Mess, so I don’t recall tasting any, although I’m sure some wiggled down the gullet. Don’t get me wrong: It’s not like I’m afraid of consuming large quantities of food, but the concept of finishing an Unk’s Mess just boggles my mind. In all my attempts, I’ve never eaten more than 40 percent of one, and I still felt stuffed like a Thanksgiving turkey for the rest of the day. Marge’s maintains a Wall of Shame featuring Poloroids of surprisingly cheery people holding empty plates. Should someone finish their Mess they get their meal for free, although I’d still argue they end up paying for it in the end. Everyone else gets to take home pounds of leftovers in a Styrofoam container and munch on it for the rest of the week. That works out to about $1 per breakfast, which is a pretty good deal when you think about it. — Adam Bissen
YE OLDE STYLE INN
828 5th Ave. S. Washburn Neighborhood
Having recently decided to give up eating meat, I was skeptical that I'd be able to find a decent breakfast at Ye Olde Style Inn. The scent of bacon and sausage sizzling on the grill often wafts across the street and into my apartment, and the menu is definitely a carnivore's dream, featuring such breakfast staples as steak and eggs, biscuits and gravy, and corned beef hash (my former favorite). But my mom taught me not to be judgmental, so I gave it a shot — and was pleasantly surprised. The staff at Ye Olde Style Inn is incredibly hospitable, and although it wasn't on the menu, they were happy to make my breakfast of one egg over easy, one egg scrambled with mushrooms, tomatoes, and onions, and cheesy hashbrowns. As with the Ye Olde's burger nights, add-ons for menu items, such as vegetables and cheese, are
available (cheaply) on pretty much anything, and the staff is always willing to alter any menu item to suit the customer's taste. I let the runny yolk coat the whole mess of veggies, eggs, cheese, and potatoes, and the seasonings in the hashbrowns left no need for added salt. Although it was delicious, the portion was large enough that I needed my boyfriend to finish it for me. Our breakfasts, plus coffee, ran us under $12 and were certainly an excellent hangover cure. Breakfast is served daily, early enough for those third shifters just leaving work, and the menu items are anything but overpriced. So the next time you're in my neighborhood, come knock on my door, and we'll head on over to Ye Olde Style for a good, classic, down-home American breakfast. — Emily Faeth
FISHERMAN'S DINER
136 Clinton St. French Island
Fisherman’s Diner is a fairly well known spot, if you’re a fisherman (it's across from Kwik Trip on French Island). However if you’re not, it’s still a great place to grab a bite before you fish or before you do anything. They open at five and serve up a hearty
CONTINUED ON PAGE 7
Second Supper
May 6, 2010 // 7
COMMUNITY
Breakfast CONTINUED FROM PAGE 6 meal for fairly cheap. I strolled in on Friday morning about 8. I ordered the Number 2 Breakfast Special. It had two eggs (sunny side up), two strips of bacon (nice and crispy), two sausage links, hash browns and had the choice of either a pancake or toast. I went for the pancake, 'cause lets face it: toast is toast. The meal was $6.25 with a complementary cup of coffee and worth every penny. The pancake was fluffy and delicious, the hash browns were perfectly crispy, and the coffee was hot and fresh. It was one of the better breakfasts I’ve had around town. The menu was full of the usual breakfast items with nothing too flashy or expensive. But who needs flash when you cook up delicious home-style breakfasts at 5 a.m.?
made with large pieces of thick-cut bread dipped in your usual egg mixture, has been my consistent meal of choice. Slightly sweet but not overwhelmingly so, satisfying but not too heavy, the French toast is pretty much my gold standard when it comes to breakfast food. And it's only 4.99.
— Nate Willer
— Jonathan Majak
HUNGRY PEDDLER
3429 Mormon Coulee Road South Side La Crosse To be perfectly frank, I’ve not met a carb that I have not completely fallen in love with, but the French toast at the Hungry Peddler holds a dear place in my both my heart and stomach. I’ve been going to the cozy establishment most Saturdays since I was in middle school and the French toast,
THE ROOT NOTE 115 4th St. S. Downtown La Crosse
Since its inception in February 2009, The Root Note has quickly become a popular place to sip coffee while relaxing with a book, kick back with a beer while jamming to a live show, or nibble on a homemade pizza while catching up with a friend. Shortly after their first birthday this year, The
Root Note has added another endeavor to its plate: a menu dedicated to the most important meal of the day. The Root Note's breakfast menu offers up delicious alternatives to the heaping plates of greasy hash browns and fried eggs that we Wisconsinites are used to. Loaded with healthy and organic ingredients from local farms, anything you choose to ingest will be the ultimate fuel for a long day. For a light bite to complement your Kickapoo coffee, try The Root Note's crusty homemade bread, toasted and spread with strawberry cider jam from La Crescent's Hoch Orchards. Need a bit more to fill your belly? My personal favorite is their breakfast burrito. Whereas most of these spin-offs arrive sluggishly at your table, obese amounts of sour cream and cheese spilling sloppily out of a wimp tortilla, the delectable sprouted grain wrap at The Root Note presents itself as a perfectly toasted, but still pliable vessel. Stuffed with plump black beans, juicy tomatoes, crunchy jalapenos and onions, fluffy scrambled eggs, and a sprinkling of melted cheddar, this burrito proves to be the most healthy — yet still filling — early bite to eat in town. But please be warned: Unless you have quite the monstrous appetite, your best bet is to share this meal with a friend. And at $5.95 a pop, you'll still have money left over to sample The Root Note's unique Bloody Mary made with Japanese Sake. Whether or not you decide to share that one with your friend is up to you.
My Reality?
— Briana Rupel
KJOME RENTALS Ready to Move in? Two-Bedroom
612 S. 7th St., La Crosse $650.00 Heat Included, Laundry, Storage, Parking
Studio
313 Main St., Onalaska $425.00 Heat Included, Parking All Month to Month Leases Cats Welcome!
1-877-452-2155 Toll Free #
Come Home To The Best!
We put those ATM fees back in your pocket.
I‘ve got money, I never carry cash.
With Altra Plus Checking, you can get up to $20 in ATM fees refunded every month and earn an outrageously high dividend on the money in your account. Ask us how. • No minimum balance required • No monthly service charge
Open 7 days a week inside Festival Foods, La Crosse
608-787-4500 • www.altra.org
fits my life
Membership eligibility required. A+ Checking available for personal accounts only. The use of four free Altra technology services is required to receive ATM refunds and dividend rate. ATM fee refunds available for withdrawals made from A+ Checking. Dividends calculated and paid each calendar month on the daily balance. Please contact Altra for complete account details.
8// May 6, 2010
6Q
Second Supper
ARTS
— Brett Emerson
with Greg Parmeter,
[To read about everything else that happened at HorrorHound Weekend, go to “Life Among the Dead/Alive” at www.secondsupper.com.]
La Crosse Community Theatre artistic director
By Jonathan Majak jonathan.majak@secondsupper.com
Closing out a successful theatre season, the La Crosse Community Theatre will be presenting the classic musical Camelot, opening tomorrow. Recently the Second Supper sat down with artistic director Greg Parmeter to ask him about the current production and what is in store for the LCT in the coming season. Second Supper: So Greg, why do you think that the story of Camelot is such an enduring story, particularly in America? Do you think it’s because of the connection with Kennedy? GP: I actually believe that this musical would’ve been forgotten without President Kennedy’s assassination and the information about how much Kennedy enjoyed the musical. The book is sort of clunky, but it has some of the best music and if you look at it, Kennedy’s speeches were very Arthurian. Peace and justice are such universal themes. Second Supper: In this production, there are a lot more physical fights and whatnot than say Driving Miss Daisy. What was it like to choreograph those? GP: It’s a first time for me choreographing fights. The fights are telling the story. The hard part has been taking people without stage combat experience, something people spend 30 years developing, but they’ve really taken to it. It’s sword fighting. What’s not cool and fun about that?
Second Supper: LCT actor Sean McDevitt has a YouTube channel “McDevitt” that hosts a lot of behind the scene videos of LCT productions. Is using new media a way of trying to get younger audiences into the show? GP: We want to expand our audience and we also want to give our audience an inside take on what goes into a show. A quality process will lead to a quality product and as a result of a lot of the high quality productions that happen in town, sometimes people take that for granted. Second Supper: So what should people expect when they come to see Camelot? GP: This is a high adventure show. Pageantry, action. It’s a show that goes deeper. Combat was written to be off stage, but we’re bringing it on-stage. People expect metal suits when it comes to this kind of show but that’s very expensive. With the costumes, we’ve gone with a fantasy, more timeless feel to it. Second Supper: What are you looking forward to most in the upcoming season? I’m aware that’s a bit like asking which is your favorite child. GP: It is sort of cliché to say all of them, isn’t it? West Side Story is my all-time favorite musical. On Golden Pond will be a special show because it has such a good script. I think people will fall in love with Almost, Maine. Chicago is a great piece too. With It’s a Wonderful Life, I get to work in radio drama style so that’ll be a lot of fun on a personal level. Doubt is so inexpertly timely with the subject matter. James and the Giant Peach is having its 50th anniversary in 2011 when we put it on, so we’re a part of that. So there you go, I couldn’t choose one! Second Supper: One last question: If death wasn’t an option, which show would you rather have to sit through: Annie 2: The Revenge of Miss Hannigan or Urban Cowboy: The Musical? GP: Annie 2, no question Second Supper: Annie 2 usually wins. GP: That’s because everyone loves Annie [laughs]. Even if they don’t admit to it.
The Screening Room
The Arts Review Bizarro Masterpiece Theatre Medium: Film The Horrorschach! One of the best things about being a journalist is all the free stuff one can score. During my almost three years writing for the Second Supper, I’ve been sent all manner of albums by both local and national artists, received some pretty terrific books and saw some great concerts, all for the cost of a few words in print. The rule of thumb I’ve developed as a journalist is: never expect anything for free, but never turn it down, either. So it was with last month’s HorrorHound Weekend, a convention that brought out an array of independent filmmakers selling their wares. After a few minutes of recorded conversation, I usually ended up with the filmmaker’s work in hand. It was a pretty sweet deal. So what I now offer in return is a Rorschach test on the four films I gathered during HorrorHound Weekend. Cory Udler: Incest Death Squad — I spend the first part of this film wondering when the incest and death squads would arrive, and then I was suddenly knee-deep in death squads, with a little bit of sibling lust on the side. The reporter hero is a goon. The Squad sister’s ridiculous come-on siren songs would be idiotic if guys the world over wouldn’t fall for them in real life. But the star of the show is the Squad brother, a bald hulk who preaches hellfire and humps the dead. What a champ! Emil Hyde: The Landlord — Easily the best produced of the four films, The Landlord tells the story of a house haunted by two flesh-eating demons, and the poor schmuck charged with finding fresh tenants. The green demon that wears Hawaiian shirts and cracks wise while chowing down is great! Conversely, the gang of undead that has some sort of treaty with the local police comes off as random, and the romantic subplot between the landlord and a tenant/victim is awkward. Ultimately, it’s a pretty funny flick. Jason Hoover: Spike — A guy finds a dead body in the woods, brings it into his shed and engages in random, bizarre conversations with it. They also play backgammon. It’s kind of a neat idea, and not the expected course of action between a boy and his corpse. Jason Hoover: Polly — I really didn’t like this film. At 45 minutes — twice the length of Spike — it’s at least 20 minutes too long. Half of it is text, playing out like a YouTube biography, and the parts where there’s actually action take forever. There is such a thing as too much suspense, and this is an example. The Winner: Incest Death Squad
Medium: Film The Art of the Steal (2009) Director: Don Argott Documentary Don Argott's documentary The Art of the Steal holds no reservations about focusing almost exclusively on one side of a two-sided argument. Anyone familiar with neither the Barnes Foundation nor the controversy surrounding its relocation will likely come to sympathize with the film's anti-corporate, anti-capitalist leanings, but the collective arguments essentially boil down to one core question: Is it acceptable to drastically alter a dead man's will in the name of profit? The Art of the Steal doesn't think so. Its brazen attempts to convince its audience likewise succeed because the film hammers home its position without letting viewers come up for air to assess the opposing argument. Not that the opposition has (or needs) much of an argument. They're "The Man" and they'll do what they want — legal documents be damned — and not even a smart, bloodthirsty documentary can stop them. Before it introduces us to any controversy, The Art of the Steal introduces us to Dr. Albert C. Barnes (1872-1951), an inventor and educator who amassed a fortune developing an antiseptic used to combat gonorrhea. In 1910, Barnes began using his wealth to collect art. His collection — housed at the Barnes Foundation in Lower Merion, Pennsylvania — contains more than 2,500 pieces, including works by Renoir, Monet, Picasso and Van Gogh, and is currently valued at over $25 billion. In his will, Barnes specifically stated that the collection should stay housed in the Foundation in Lower Merion. But an art collection capable in raking in vast amounts of tourism dollars can't hope to keep politicians' hands off it for too long Politicians and other interest groups fight to alter Barnes' will and move the collection to downtown Philadelphia, while friends of the foundation fight to keep the collection in Merion. The majority of Argott's interview subjects belong to the "keep the Barnes in Merion" camp, and because their testimony is so persuasive, colorful and passionate, it's hard not to both grasp and adopt completely the entirety of their argument. Their testimony increasingly borders on complaintive and resentful as it becomes clear that the dying wishes of Dr. Barnes may as well have been buried with him. The Art of the Steal charts Barnes' will's demise through a path at once meant to challenge corporate thievery, the limits of political authority and the intentions behind the commodification of art. The film's bias probably works more to its benefit, moving it along quicker and making it more thrilling. Hollywood screenwriters would be hard-pressed to write something as energetic and ultimately-defeating. — Nick Cabreza
Second Supper
MUSIC
Umphrey's guitarist unplugs for 30db
really big on trying to have drums on some of the songs. And when it came right down to it, he was actually the big pusher in realizing it with a full band. Once he mentioned Cody, it kind of made sense. We cut a couple tracks with the full band, and I had never heard bass or drums under some of these songs. Once I heard ‘em with a band behind it, I totally got what Jeff was going for. It’s like "OK, we need to do this right."
By Adam Bissen
adam.bissen@secondsupper.com Brendan Bayliss is a busy musician, but he’s not too busy for music. As a guitarist for the Chicago jamband Umphrey’s McGee, Bayliss is on the road more than 100 nights a year, playing heavily improvised concerts for one of the scene’s biggest fan bases. Recently, Bayliss found a musical brother in Jeff Austin, mandolin player for the Colorado jamgrass kings Yonder Mountain String Band. Over the past four years, the pair came together for several songwriting and recording sessions, and the result is a long way from their jammy routes. One Man Show, the album that will be released May 11, is a focused, countrified effort with lyrics exploring breakup — the result of Austin and Bayliss going through divorces within months of each other. Joined by accomplished musicians Eric Thorin, Nick Forster and Cody Dickinson (of the North Mississippi All Stars), the band known as 30db will play their first ever concert tonight, May 6, at the Cabooze in Minneapolis and follow it with a May 7 appearance at the Barrymore Theatre in Madison. Last week, in a telephone interview from his Chicago apartment, Bayliss explained the origins of his new roots band 30db — up to and excluding its name. Second Supper: I’m not sure of your and Jeff’s full collaborative history, but I think I may have seen one of your first shows together. It was back in 2006 at the Northwest String Summit in Oregon. Brendan Bayliss: Actually that was the first time we ever played together. I had a show the night before with Umphrey’s and Joshua Redman. I flew out at like 9 a.m. Jeff got me from the airport and then we played — oh, yeah, you were there (laughs). SS: It seemed like a pretty cool thing at the time. I guess I didn’t foresee it coming together to a full album, full-band project. BB: No. I didn’t either. I don’t think he did either. It just kind of evolved naturally. SS: What brought you guys together to start collaborating? BB: Well, we were playing on the same circuit — many festival dates and many shows together. Basically it came from a natural spot. SS: Just from being on tours together? BB: He and I were basically writing from the same spot. We both went through a divorce within like four months of each other and decided we were kind of there for each other. And we had a pile of songs about it and decided to see where we could go with it. SS: With you guys both being in heavy-touring bands, was it hard to make the time to come together? BB: Yes. At first I didn’t know how long it would take to actually get this record done, because he would have to come off the road and fly to Chicago or I would have to come
off the road and fly to Colorado essentially to make it work. His schedule is kind of as crazy as mine, so when you come off the road for three weeks and you have a week off, the last thing you want to do is go get back out. So it definitely took some compromise and it took a while. We’ve been working on it for years. SS: What was it about your collaborative work that made you want to come together so many times during your days off? BB: You know, it was refreshing. It was kind of out of the box for both of us. I guess sometimes as a musician you just don’t ask questions. If it feels right, you just follow it. I think he and I both wanted to entertain the possibility of seeing if it could be more than going to a bar one night and playing five covers. Sometimes things are worth trying, and if it doesn’t work out then you know at least you tried. And this is working out. SS: Yeah, that was one thing I found really impressive about the album, that it doesn’t really sound like Umphrey’s McGee; it doesn’t sound like the Yonder Mountain String Band. It’s actually a pretty original sounding band. BB: Thanks, man, that’s kind of what we were going for. Obviously we’re going to have our influences and our vocabulary that we draw from, but I think we did hit a good sweet spot — in other words, not either band. SS: When you guys started, did you plan on there being an album at the end of it, or was it more of just writing for the two of you? BB: No. It was kind of a more get together. I mean there was grand talk. You have a couple drinks and go "Yeah, let’s put out a record!" But as soon as we had a pile of songs, it just happened really naturally. SS: With the two of you being the major songwriters, when did you decide to bring the other guys into the mix to make it a full band record? BB: We did a session in Chicago in, I wanna say 2007 maybe. It was Jeff and I, and he was
SS: I guess that would make sense for Jeff, being in a band without any drums and not too many electric instruments, to go outside of his comfort zone. But when you were working on this project, is there anything you get out of 30db that you can’t take musically from Umphrey’s McGee? BB: Well, I’ve been doing Umphrey’s for 12 years, and it’s just different to have a another songwriting partner to bounce ideas off of, and it’s just going to naturally sound different. My role is different in this band. It makes me definitely appreciate what I have with Umphrey’s, but it’s a nice change of pace to just kind of get out of my routine because I do Umphrey’s a hundred-and-so-many days a year that I guess it’s probably healthy musically to get around different players and just kind of be forced to play different, and then you can bring that back to your main thing. And I’ve definitely seen an influence on the simplification of things, because 30db is a much simpler approach. SS: That’s got to be kind of refreshing, I guess, from all the acrobatics you do with Umphrey’s. BB: (laughs) That’s a good adjective. Yeah. It’s some pyrotechnics. SS: When you picked this band up, it sounds like it kind of came together for studio sessions. Have you done many live takes together? BB: No, we have not done one single live show together. We’ve done a show with Nick and Eric, but not with Cody there, so it’s going to be a lot of fun. We’re going to look like little kids up there because we’re going to be like the garage band practicing. We haven’t played enough together to get annoyed with each other yet, so everyone’s going to be pumped up, which is nice. SS: Well, when this tour is over and the album is released, do you expect to stay together as a working band? BB: Yeah, you know we’re already talking about doing another run in September, so I think this will be more than a one-time thing. Only time will tell, my friend, but I think we have a good solid base to build a church on. SS: Well, I guess I’m obligated to ask you: Where does the name 30db come from? BB: You know what? It really depends on what time of day you ask me. We picked something that is pretty vague and every time we’re asked we can give a different reason. And today’s reason will be: I’m not going to tell you. How about that?
May 6, 2010 // 9
10// May 6, 2010
MUSIC
Medium: Album Stimulus: Crystal Castles Anno: 2010
There once was a dream that was Camelot…
May 7–23, 2010
Call for tickets! 784-9292 Director: Greg Parmeter • Musical Director: Ken Schelper • Choreographer: Jen Nichols Wilkinson Stage Manager: Kyle DeLap • Technical Director: Dillon McArdle • Costume Designer: Mandy Parmeter Sound Designer: Kevin Laumbach • Props Master: Tami Wolden • Assistant Director: Sean McDevitt Assistant Stage Manager: April Brown • Assistant Technical Director: Tim Harris
Box Office (608) 784-9292 * Hours 11 am to 5 pm Monday–Friday * 118 5th Avenue North, La Crosse
Thank you to our season sponsors:
Ticket prices & showtimes: All shows: Adults $22; Students and military $10
www.lacrossecommunitytheatre.org
Thursday–Saturday: 7:30 pm, Saturday (May 15 & 22): 2 pm Sunday: 2 pm
Crystal Castles' sophomore album is a marked improvement from its debut, mostly because of two factors. First, programmer Ethan Kath doesn’t fall back on variations of the Ethan Kath Default Drumbeat — a skittering thud-tsstss — as much as he did on the first album, in which it plagued much of the work and made even the most complex and diverse songs sound monotonous when played as a whole. More surprising is that singer Alice Glass has largely given up her characteristic electro-screeching and has proved herself to be a fairly talented vocalist. Though there are still tracks in which Glass’s voice is just another manipulated instrument in Kath’s orchestrations, there are far fewer true instrumentals on this album. What results is an album with a more unified, balanced, confident sound. Because of this, the few tracks that retain the old technical difficulties are more exciting this time around. The opening and closing tracks mix noise into coherent chaos, the former punctuated by Glass’s rantings. Her rage comes into high form not long after the introduction, in a pair of tracks titled “Doe Deer” and “Baptism.” While the latter is more of an old school Crystal Castles dance
Oh hi, this week's episode will be telling you all about what newish stuff I have been getting Shuggy to recently. And away we go! "Cosmogramma" by hip-hop/electronica beat maker Flying Lotus has been getting played a ton, but I gotta admit, I can't really comprehend all that's going on with this one. Slow down, you madman! It's just that there are sooooo many ideas being mashed together here that it makes me think his genius is too far ahead of what us simpletons can grasp. It will take years for others to catch up. Thom Yorke makes an appearance on a song, as does his horn blowing cousin Ravi Coltrane (son of John and Alice). "Before Today" by Ariel Pink's Haunted Graffiti strips away a lot of the aural weirdness of his previous releases that have made him the godfather of the chillwave movement and instead focus on the catchy pop songs this dude cranks out. And he's damn good at writing kooky pop songs. He's also a good one to name drop for hipster cred. "True Love Cast Out All Evil" by Roky Erickson is another example of a hippie drug burnout/ mental patient who developed a cult following of admirers based simply on the lore that he went too far down the rabbit hole. But this album from the former front man of '60s garage psyche band 13th Floor Elevators isn't a voyeuristic look into madness you'd
Second Supper track, complete with the Default Drumbeat, “Doe Deer” is a monster of its own, with spastic notes wrapping around frantic beats and anchored by Glass, who howls for blood in one of the album’s best performances. On the in-between, “Year of Silence” sounds like a darker counterpart of the original album’s “Air War,” which was a bouncy track in which Glass chirped in tongues. Conversely, “Silence” is slowed down, with gloomier vocals that sound more decipherable. The track that best marks Crystal Castles’ move into new territory is “Celestica,” a sinister bit of electronica featuring Glass’s cleanest vocals to date. This is easily the prettiest song in the band’s published history. Anchoring this song is “Vietnam,” the album’s longest track. It’s a moody, buzzing work that jumps back and forth between morose and danceable and features Glass as an instrument rather than vocalist. Beyond these songs, there are tracks that hedge closer to the established formula, but the only song I completely didn’t like was “Birds,” a subdued Glass-wailer. While Crystal Castles’ original album was a more forgettable mix of dance music, their latest ensures that they will be sticking around for a while. Ethan Kath’s musicianship, which has always been the band’s best selling point, continues to evolve and fulfill its potential. And — as surprised as I am to say it — I really liked Alice Glass’s work as well. Crystal Castles finally sounds like a band, not just a project.
— Brett Emerson
get from solo releases by ill minded musicians like Syd Barrett or Brian Wilson, but rather a gorgeous collection of roots rock songs sung in his raspy grandfather voice. Having Okkervil River serve as his backing band throughout just adds to the awesome. "I Will Be" by Dum Dum Girls is some fuzzed out lo-fi garage rock made by a girl from LA. Heavily reverbed vocals, a driving four-onthe-floor apache beat, a lack of studio slickness, and riding the wave of the recent indie trend of lo-fi noise pop bands such as Vivian Girls, Wavvves and whatever other latest buzzband the kids are into these days, makes for a rocker chick win. "Triangulation" by British dubstep producer Scuba removes a lot of the jerky k-hole sound collage found in much of the genre and instead kicks you in the brain with smoothed out selections of dub heavy techno with a dash of UK funky. Following a path blazed by Burial, this seeks to move away from the grimy club scene the genre sprouted out of to serve up a steamy pile for the beard-stroking ear buds crowd. "New Amerykah Part Two: Return of the Ankh" by neo-soul diva Erykah Badu drops some un-autotuned funk, with beats courtesy of Madlib, that does what she has been doing for years. It has been on shuffle along with recent albums put out by other soulful dames like Sade and Sharon Jones, making this the spring of the booty jamz in Casa de Shuggy. — Shuggypop Jackson
Second Supper
May 6, 2010 // 11
MUSIC
music directory // May 7 to May 13 FRIDAY,
just a roadie away
May 7
Milwaukee
IMPULSE NIGHT CLUB // 214 Main St. Moxie, Mage, Random Thoughts, Mr. Ruff (hip-hop show) • 10:30 p.m.
population
INSANE CLOWN POSSE //MAY 14 The Rave • $27
JB'SSPEAKEASY // 717 Rose St. Shot to Hell, the Blood Shot, Donoma (hard rock) • 10 p.m.
DEFTONES //MAY 26 The Rave • $23.50 BRIAN JONESTOWN MASSACE // MAY 29 Turner Hall • $18
NIGHTHAWKS TAP // 401 S. Third St. The Levitating Train Committee (rock show) • 10 p.m. NEUIE'S VARSITY CLUB // 1920 Ward Ave. The Dweebs (nerd rock) • 9 p.m. PEARL STREET BREWERY // 1401 St. Andrew St.
Mike Vande Zande • 5 p.m. PIGGY'S BLUES LOUNGE // 501 Front St. S. Doghouse Jon and the Misbehavers (blues) • 8 p.m.
596,974
NICK NICE, HOLY F*** // JUNE 2 Turner Hall • $12 Congratulations, college students, you've made it through another year. So what to do now? May we suggest ... partying? The Popcorn Tavern has your hookup on Saturday night beginning at 9 p.m. The Minneapolis indie hip-hop outfit More Than Lights will rock the party with their high-energy live band show. Brownie's Recipe is always a great time as he cooks up funky jams with a collection of La Crosse All Stars. Hometown heros turned Twin Cities favorite Shoeless Revolution (above) headlines the show. Now a slinky four-piece, Shoeless always brings a huge dance-happy crowd to the Popcorn. It's going to be a sweet, sweaty way to cap off another year, and if you need any more motivation to show up, may we suggest ... free beer?
SUNDAY, NIGHTHAWKS TAP // 401 S. Third St.
May 9
THE NEW PORNOGRAPHERS // JUNE 12 Pabst Theatre • $22.50 MGMT // JUNE 20 Riverside Theatre • $27.50
WEDNESDAY,
May 12
POPCORN TAVERN // 308 S. Fourth St. Cheech & The Feelin (pop) • 10 p.m.
Dr. Lee & the Terminally Chill Band (blues) • 10 p.m.
CONCORDIA BALLROOM // 1129 La Crosse St. Ray Konkol Band (polka) • 1 p.m.
THE FLIPSIDE // 400 Lang Drive Corey Koehler (Americana) • 9 p.m.
MY SECOND HOME // 2104 George St. The Fabulous Baloney Skins (Beagle Brothers Reunion) • 8 p.m.
POPCORN TAVERN // 308 S. Fourth St.
NIGHTHAWKS TAP // 401 S. Third St.
The Sunday Blend (jam) • 10 p.m.
The Bad Axe Band (open jam) • 10 p.m.
SOUTHSIDE COMM. CENTER // 1300 S. Sixth St. Bluegrass jam • 1 p.m.
POPCORN TAVERN // 308 S. Fourth St. Open Jam • 10 p.m.
THE WAREHOUSE // 324 Pearl St. Cattle Decapitation, Enfold Darkness, Revocation, Orwell (hard rock) • 6:30 p.m
RECOVERY ROOM // 901 7th St. S. Dox Phonic (open jam) • 10 p.m.
THE JOINT // 324 Jay St. Baghdad Scuba Review (jam) • 10 p.m.
NORTH SIDE OASIS // 620 Gillette St. Geared Under (rock) • 9:30 p.m.
THE ROOT NOTE // 114 4th St. S. Brilliant Beast, Brahman Shaman, PIGGY'S BLUES LOUNGE // 501 Front St. S. Doghouse Jon and the Misbehavers Imaginary Jack, Moth Mountain (blues) • 8 p.m. (indie folk) • 8:30 p.m. POPCORN TAVERN // 308 S. Fourth St. THE WAREHOUSE // 324 Pearl St. DJ Gritty Kitty, DJ Twitch (industrial Shoeless Revolution, More than Lights, Brownie's Recipe (end of dance night) • 8 p.m. school bash) • 9 p.m. THE WATERFRONT TAVERN // 328 Front St. Greg Balfany LaX Jazz4tet (jazz) • 8 p.m. THE ARTERIAL // 1003 S. 16th St. Paxico (rock) • 9:30 p.m.
SATURDAY,
May 8
ALPINE INN // W5717 Bliss Rd. The Swing Crew (variety) • 8 p.m. JB'S SPEAKEASY // 717 Rose St. Quick 50, Motive CrashKorse (rock show) • 10 p.m.
THE JOINT // 324 Jay St. Moon Boot Posse (SoCal fusion) • 10 p.m.
MONDAY,
May 10
POPCORN TAVERN // 308 S. Fourth St. Shawn's Open jam • 10 p.m. THE WAREHOUSE // 324 Pearl St. Breathe Electric, Backseat Goodbye, Plug In Stereo, New Fable February• (pop-punk) 6 p.m.
DEL’S BAR // 229 Third St. Rich Wooten (acoustic) • 10 p.m.
THURSDAY,
May 13
DEL’S BAR // 229 Third St. Matthew Haeffel (acoustic) • 10 p.m.
NIGHTHAWKS TAP // 401 S. Third St. Dave Orr's Damn Jam (open jam) • 10 p.m.
POPCORN TAVERN // 308 S. Fourth St. New Rebellion (Family Jam Tour) • 10 p.m.
THE WAREHOUSE // 324 Pearl St. One Eye Wanders (industrial) • 8 p.m.
TUESDAY,May 11
THE ROOT NOTE // 114 4th St. S. Open Mic • 8 p.m.
THE WATERFRONT TAVERN // 328 Front St. Greg Balfany LaX Jazz4tet (jazz) • 8 p.m.
POPCORN TAVERN // 308 S. Fourth St. Fayme and Casey (acoustic) • 10 p.m.
THE STARLITE LOUNGE // 222 Pearl St. Kies and Kompanie (jazz) • 5 p.m.
12// May 6, 2010
The Advice Goddess By Amy Alkon amy.alkon@secondsupper.com Needy Gonzales
This divorced dad I’ve been seeing for a
Have an opinion? Send your letters to the editor to Second Supper, 614 Main St., La Crosse, WI 54601 or by e-mail to editor@secondsupper.com. Letters should be signed and include phone number for verification purposes. Please limit letters to no more than 300 words. Second Supper reserves the right to edit letters for length, clarity and grammar. For more information, call (608) 782-7001.
Second Supper month is really sweet, but he’s pushing to go way too fast. Lately, he’s been very intense. He came over after I specifically told him I wanted a night alone. He said he thought I needed him but was “too independent” to say so. He says he loves me (I can't say it back), and wants to change jobs and move in with me (he lives 30 miles away). I said I wasn't ready. He keeps trying to convince me that I'm just scared and once I “let go” and let him move in, I'll see that everything is as it should be. I’m 30, divorced, with two children; he’s 32, recently divorced (four months ago, after his wife cheated). He hasn't met my parents, and I won’t let him meet my kids until I’m sure about him. He says what others think shouldn’t matter because “We’re in love and happy, so it’ll all come together.” — Unsettled Well, here’s a romance for the ages. “How’d you two lovebirds get together?” people will ask. “It’s so completely sweet,” you’ll say. “He was standing on my porch waving a bunch of red flags.” This guy takes the “Dear Occupant” approach to love: Instead of “It had to be you,” it had to be somebody, and you’re standing right there and have yet to call the cops on him. He claims to love you, but you really have to know somebody to love them. Of course, “We’re in love!” plays better with the ladies than “I’m lovable, right? After what that last woman did to me?” or “I’m terrified to be alone … got any spare drawers?” As for his push to live with you one month in, you don’t even meet somebody’s parents at that point — not unless you’re
14 and need somebody with a license to drive you to the movies. Plus, an emotionally together dad doesn’t expect a mother to announce, “Kids, I brought a strange man home from the bar. He’s going to live with us now. I forget his name, so you can just call him Daddy II.” Oh, the way he makes you feel … smothered, pressured, and in need of lingerie with a seatbelt attachment. It’s completely creepy how he’s trying to sensitive-guy his way into your life, sounding protective of you when he’s anything but. You e-mailed me that you’ve seen the guy maybe six times, yet he’s named himself the world’s foremost expert on your “real” feelings, which align so perfectly with his needs: You really love him. You really want him to come over. In fact, you wish he’d arrived in a moving van on the first date. (Any guy can bring flowers — it takes a really special guy to bring you his bedroom set and 36 boxes of his stuff.) Love (when you actually have it) supposedly makes the world go round, but relationships run on the boring day-to-day stuff, and how you argue, and how annoyingly one of you chews. This isn’t data that’s readily available on the third date. What’s more, a guy who immediately decides he loves you will find it near impossible to see if he actually does — until it’s too late. Tempting as it is to buy into a whirlwind romance, keep in mind that the focus is always on the romance, not the whirlwind — the part that
The Beer Review Supper Club Capital Brewery Middleton, Wisconsin This week, we review a beer marketed specifically to people with Wisconsin pride — credit Capital Brewery for devising that brilliant business model. A Supper Club, for those of you reared either outside of Wisconsin or under a rock, is a distinctly Upper Midwest eating establishment. It usually requires cruising to some outof-the-way spot, but once you’ve arrived you’re rewarded with grilled prime rib, batter-fried fish and plenty of beverages to wash it all down. Sadly, supper clubs are becoming a rare commodity in these homogenized times, and local lagers have been disappearing right along with them. Light-bodied and smooth-sipping, Midwestern regional beers had ardent supporters in the 1950s, ‘60s and ‘70s, but the corporate “lager wars” nearly killed off the style. But leave it to Capital brewmaster Kirby Nelson to bring it back home. His cheekily named Supper Club comes packaged in a pastiche of kitsch, from chubby fonts to cars with tail fins. The label carries the tagline “A Wisconsin state of mind” as
leaves your living room in little pieces in the next county under a herd of cows.
Truth theorem
A friend read that in 70 percent of relationships, men will cheat, but I’ve seen all sorts of different stats. Do you have reliable numbers on the level of cheating that goes on? — Tabulating You can get pretty reliable stats on cheating, providing you restrict your inquiry to two-timers with wings and a beak. Researchers who test baby bird DNA find that up to 60 percent of the chickies weren’t fathered by the mommy birdie’s partner. (And P.S.: Don’t believe the clever public relations campaign of those sluts, the swans.) In humans, data is “self-reported,” as in, “Here’s a number two pencil: Tell the truth about your sex life.” The results are highly accurate — if you don’t count everybody fudging to seem more studly or less hussyish and cases where everything but “and” and “the” is a lie. The bottom line? Men cheat, women cheat, and if you’ve ever been involved with a man or woman, there’s a good chance you’ve been cheated on. Delve into your partner’s character and views on monogamy before you commit, and you might avoid hiring a private detective or DNA lab to do it afterward — when you can’t help but notice that your wife’s a vulture who just gave birth to the most beautiful baby duck.
well as the ringing regional endorsement, “Not bad.” As for the taste, I’d love to say that it nails that old-school flavor, but I’m just too young to know the glory of the supper club era. As for the capital-S Supper Club, it pours a see-through yellow color that most closely resembles Pabst Blue Ribbon, although the head Appearance: 7 is much fuller and longer lasting. The Aroma: 6 aroma hits the nose with a quick burst Taste: 7 of hops that seem to disappear, and Mouthfeel: 6 grainy malts and Drinkability: 9 hay soon dominate the nose. For a craft beer aficionado, the Total: 35 taste comes on light (though a less polite word would be “watery”). But as it slides along the tongue, bready malts sweeten and arise to the fore, creating a taste that somehow evokes corn muffins. For some people, this could set off alarms of “Adjunct Microbrew Lager!” but Supper Club has a spicy, homespun flavor that’s truly charming. No doubt, this is a session beer. It has a thicker mouthfeel than macro lagers, but it’s lighter than most craft beers. You could tip back quite a few at the Friday night fish fry, but it would go much better while grilling burgers on a sunny afternoon. So let the rest of America drink its Bud Light when it wants to have a good time. Here in Wisconsin, we respect our roots. — Adam Bissen
Second Supper
May 6, 2010 // 13 YOUR GUIDE TO CONSUMPTION The Best Food & Drink Specials in Town To advertise here, call (608) 782-7001 or e-mail us at advertising@secondsupper.com.
LOCATION
MONDAY
TUESDAY
WEDNESDAY
THURSDAY
FRIDAY
SATURDAY
ARENA
SUNDAY
Midwest Poker League 7 p.m.
Closed
Wyld Wednesday: $2 Jumbo UV, mixers $1.50 Coronas
Ladies' Night, $5 Long Island pitchers
$1 Cherry Bombs, $1 Keystone Light silos
$1 Cherry Bombs, $1 Keystone Light silos
BODEGA BREW PUB
$2 BBQ Pork Sliders
2-Fers, Buy any regularly priced food item and get one of equal or lesser value for free
$2.50 Coors vs. Keystone pitchers. All specials 9 p.m. to close
AUC2D: $5, domestic taps, rail mix- 10-cent wings, $1 Miller High Life ers, Long Islands. All specials 9 p.m. bottles, $1.50 rail mixers; $2.50 call to close drinks. All specials 9 p.m. to close.
107 3rd St. S. 782-1883 122 4th St. 782-0677
BROTHERS
Closed
306 Pearl St. 784-0522
FEATURES
Fish Tacos: 1 / $2.50, 2 / $5.00, 3 / $6.50.
Free beer 5:30-6:30; Free wings 7:30- Taco buffet 11-2; 8:30, Free bowling after 9 $1 Pabst bottles and $1 bowling after 9
W3923 State Highway 16 786-9000
HOWIE’S
AUC2D: $5, domestic taps, rail mixers and Long Islands. Wristband Night: $2.50 SoCo & Jack. All specials 9 p.m. to close.
$3 3 Olives mixers, $3 Mojitos, $2 $3 Bacardi mixers, $3 Mojitos, $2 Cherry Bombs, $1 Bazooka Joe's; Cherry bombs, $1 Bazooka Joe's. FAC: $3 domestic pitchers, micro/ All specials 9 p.m. to close. import taps, anything that pours. 4-9 p.m.
All you care to eat pizza buffet, 11-2
All you care to eat fish fry 4-10; un- Prime rib dinner 4-10; limited Glow-N-Bowl $9.99 unlimited Glow-N-Bowl $9.99
1125 La Crosse St. 784-7400
Happy hour 4 to 9 p.m.; 9 p.m. to 9 p.m. to close: $3.50 domestic 9 p.m. to close: $1 rails, $2.50 pitch- $5 all you can drink close: Night Before Class - $3 pitch- pitchers ers, beer pong ers of the beast
9 p.m. to close: $1.25 rails, $1.75 bottles/cans
9 p.m. to close: $2 Captain mixers, $2 bottles/cans, $3 Jager bombs
IMPULSE
Closed
Closed
Karaoke 9 p.m.-Close; Happy Hour daily 5-8
Wine & martini night; Happy Hour daily 5-8
18+ night (1st and 3rd Thursday of each month); Happy Hour daily 5-8
$25 open bar package, 11 p.m. to Happy Hour daily 5-8 close: domestic/import beer, rail, call drinks, martinis; Happy Hour daily 5-8
JB’S SPEAKEASY
$1.75 domestic bottles
SIN Night
$1.75 domestic bottles
Happy Hour 5 to 7 p.m.
Happy Hour 5 to 7 p.m.
Happy Hour 5 to 7 p.m.
Northside Oasis 620 Gillette St., 3 p.m. Howie's 1128 La Crosse St., 8 p.m.
Arena 620 107 S. 3rd St. 8 p.m.
Logan Bar 1400 Caledonia St. 6 p.m.
Sloopy's Alma Mater 163 Copeland Ave., 8 p.m. Days Hotel 101 Sky Harbor Drive, 8 p.m.
Adams Street Pub 1200 11th St. S. 7:30 p.m.
$1.79 burger (after 8 p.m.) Breakfast 8 a.m. to 2 p.m.
Hat Night: Buy 1 drink, get 1 free w/ Rail drinks $2 (4:30 to close); Buckets of beer $10, Boston Bobby's Margaritas $4 (Straw, rasp, mango, hat (4:30 to close); $1.50 chili dogs After 8 p.m. specials: $5 skewer of drummies 10 for $2 (4:30 to close), peach and reg); After 8 p.m. specials: (after 8 p.m.) shrimp,l $1.79 burger, $1.50 chili dogs $1.79 burger (after 8 p.m.) $5 skewer of shrimp, $1.79 burger
Breakfast 8 a.m. to 2 p.m.
$2 can beer (2-6 p.m.) $11 buckets of beers (6-close)
$2 can beer (2-6 p.m.) 12" pizza: $8.99 up to 5 toppings (4-close)
Wings, Wings, Wings... $2 off 14: Ladies night, 2 for 1 drinks (6-close), Friday Fish, $2 can beer (2-6) pizza, $2 can beer (2-6 p.m.) $2 can beer (2-6 p.m.)
2 for 1 pints/pitches w/ student ID over 21
Buck Burgers
Tacos $1.25
15-cent wings
$8.99 12-ounce T-bone
15-cent wings
$1.50 taps 6 to 8 p.m.
All Mojitos $5
214 Main St. 782-6010
9 p.m. to close: $2 Bacardi mixers, $2 domestic pints, $1.50 shots blackberry brandy
Happy Hour 5 to 7 p.m.
717 Rose St. 796-1161
MIDWEST POKER LEAGUE midwestpokerleague@mail.com
SCHMIDTY’S 3119 State Road 788-5110
SLOOPY'S ALMA MATER 163 Copeland Ave. 785-0245
SPORTS NUT
Visit www.midwestpokerleague.com for league updates.
Cruz-in Pub and Eatery W5450 Keil Coulee Road, 3 p.m.
801 Rose St. 784-1811
THE CAVALIER LOUNGE 114 5th Ave. N. 782-2111
THE LIBRARY
Sunday Fun Day - Wristband Night
Half price tequilla, $1 domestic taps Karaoke, $2 double rails & all bottles Beer Pong Tourney and and rails wristband night
123 3rd St. 784-8020
TOP SHOTS
$3 Bacardi mixers, $3 Jumbo Long Island Iced Teas
$3 Jumbo Long Island Iced Teas, $3 3 Olives mixers $5 Miller/Bud Light Pitchers, $2.25 Leinies Bottles (7-1AM)
137 4th St. 782-6622
$5 Pitchers/$2 bottles of Miller $1.75 Miller/Bud Light Taps, $2.25 $1.75 Rails, $1.50 Domestic Taps, $2 domestic bottles, $2.50 Skyy/ products (11-4pm) MIcro/Craft Taps, $2.50 Cherry Bombs $3.50 Jager Bombs Absolut mixers, $2 Dr. shots $2 Corona Bottles, $2 Kilo Kai Mixers (7-1AM) (7-1AM) (7-1am) , $3 Bloodys (7-1AM)
5 Domestic Bottles for $10, $5 $2 Captain Mixers, $2. Long Island Micro/Import Bottles $11.50, $7 Mixers, $3 Effen Vodka Mixers (7Micro/Craft Pitchers (7-1AM) 1AM)
TRAIN STATION BBQ
Ask for great eats
11 a.m. to 3 p.m., Barn burner $7.95; 4 to 9 p.m., Hobo dinner (serves two) $30.95
WHO'S ON THIRD
Happy Hour until 10 p.m. $1.50 domestic taps, $2 rails from 10 to close
601 St. Andrew St. 781-0005 126 3rd St. N. 782-9467
$1 taps of PBR, $1 rails
11 a.m. to 3 p.m., extra side with sandwich; 4 to 9 p.m., $1 off rib dinner
Special varies
11 a.m. to 3 p.m., Chicken on fire One-half chicken three bones $7.95; 4 to 9 p.m., Bones and bris- $12.95 kets $13.95
$3 call doubles, $2 Bud products
Ladies' Night: $2 top shelf, $1 Pink $8.50 Fish Bowls, $2 Miller products $1 off Three Olives, $2 domestic taps Tacos Everyone: $2.50 bombs, $2 taps, $3 Jack/Captain doubles
Editor's Note: For information about advertising your food and drink specials, call Second Supper at (608) 782-7001 or e-mail us at advertising@secondsupper.com.
Winners Will Be Announced May 20 • Best Steak • Best Pizza • Best Rock Band • Best Bakery • Best Music Venue ... And Many More
14// May 6, 2010
Second Supper
DIVERSIONS
Maze Efflux
Battle of the Bands Who would win?
By Erich Boldt By Matt Jones
Sudoku
Answers below
Reminds you to support the retailers, restaurants, taverns and bands that support us. We are funded solely by advertising so if you want to support us, support them!
CONSCIENTIOUS COMMERCE: most important deal of the day
ENJOY YOUR SUPPER ONLINE AT www.secondsupper.com
ACROSS 1 Maggie Gyllenhaal's brother 5 Tallahassee's st. 8 Earthy shade 13 Fix text 14 "___ Boot" 15 Weasel out (on) 16 "You'd think Band A would hold up, but it's flimsy. Band B wins." 19 Like some computer errors 20 Blood type for about 6% of the U.S. pop. 21 They follow B 22 Unable to work, perhaps 24 First responder 26 Comp. storage sites 27 Forever, it seems 31 "Charter" tree 33 Diamond Head locale 35 "Band B wins, since Band A only has a toler-
ance for booze." 39 Drink from (a bowl), like a cat 40 Cutesy-___ 41 Four Holy Roman Emperors 43 "Drop Band A on Band B? Band B wins, no contest." 46 Art ___ 47 Suffix for orange or lemon 48 Gaelic tongue 49 "Ben-___" 51 Abbr. in some town names 53 Furthest degree 55 Fertile Crescent's place 57 Golfer Aoki 59 Inspected diamonds? 64 "Band B wins, because it's pointy and doesn't digest well." 67 Early actress Langtry
Answers to April 29 puzzle Burn After Reading: It's What Remains
68 Dir. opposite WNW 69 "Scientific American Frontiers" host Alan 70 Didn't dine out 71 "Slippery When ___" (Bon Jovi album) 72 Spotted DOWN 1 Constantly napping member of the Wiggles 2 Song from Sarah McLachlan's "Surfacing" 3 Highland Games garb 4 "At Last" blues singer ___ James 5 Prez on the dime 6 Kitschy illumination 7 Part of AARP 8 "___ the fields we go..." 9 "Mad Money" network 10 Job search insider 11 Spurred (on) 12 Hull wreckers 15 Stringy cleaner 17 Mr. Manning 18 "Isn't that something?" 23 ___ Lobos 25 California/Nevada attraction 27 The whole thing 28 Burrito add-on, for short 29 Fashionable sandal 30 Drive-thru drink
32 Villainous surname in the Super Mario Bros. series 34 Request to the dealer 36 Blacksburg sch. 37 What automobile interiors may drown out 38 Geologic time periods 42 Sault ___ Marie Canals 44 Candle type 45 Hound healer 49 "Se ____ espaĂąol" 50 "___ wisely" 52 Reptilian warning 54 Clueless response 56 Obesity drug Orlistat, more familiarly 58 Not too many 60 CEOs may have them 61 Stripper's fixture 62 "The Neverending Story" author Michael 63 Jimmy of sausage 65 Half of an eternal balance 66 Ready to roll For answers, call (900) 226-2800, 99 cents per minute. Or to bill to a credit card, call (800) 655-6549. Reference puzzle #0465.
COMING MAY 13 • Local theatre awards SECONDSUPPER, LaX Free Press
Second Supper
May 6, 2010 // 15
THE LAST WORD
Solvent Green By Shuggypop Jackson shuggypop.jackson@secondsupper.com This whole going green thing is getting kind of old. Don't get me wrong, I'm glad DDT isn't crop dusted on my food, 50 gallon drums of toxic waste aren't buried in my yard, or that I don't live downriver from the Love Canal. I'm referring more to the cavalcade of trendy feel-good buzzwords that maintain the movement. I get it, recycling my bottles, unplugging appliances when they're not in use, and not flushing the toilet after I take a piss will supposedly save the planet. Could I stop having these sentiments crammed down my throat already? It seems to be unavoidable these days. It probably doesn't help that more often than not, I find the most ardent perpetuators of the message either naive idealists who deserve a patronizing pat on the head or smug bastards with a holier-than-thou at-
titude. Thus people I'd prefer not to engage with about any topic, let alone their cliched eco-mantras. Mostly these are harmless annoyances to me, and if it makes a person feel good about themselves, then preach your bumper sticker slogans. Just preferably not to me. It's easy to point out the hypocrisy of the Captain Planet tree-hugger I overheard talking about genetically modified foods like it's the big bad boogeyman coming to steal your children, while conveniently overlooking the sack of ganja in his pocket that had been mutated into a super strain, or a newspaper that promotes Earth Month in pages printed on a material that was once a living tree (Editor's note: Our paper is recycled). But for me, my favorite stereotype of going green zeal is a former housemate, a brighteyed environmental studies major who had fully drank the green Kool-Aid. There were three main topics she filled my ears with ad nauseam: corporations were evil, we need to save the planet, and I have to absolutely eat organic foods only. Pointing out that corporations by far spend the most on environmental cleanup and lead the way in coming up with new green technologies somehow got past her. Her Utopian vision that all organic food is grown by smiling farmers who wear overalls, drive tractors and don't use pesticides couldn't be bothered with the fact that most organic food is made by major agribusiness. Or that organic is often used as a marketing label to jack up prices for profits. Never
mind that if the entire world were to switch to 100 percent organic food tomorrow there would be mass starvation and famine, and that the food output will need to at least double and possibly triple over the next several decades to keep up with human population, which reputable studies have shown organic farming techniques absolutely can't provide. She wasn't happy when pictures from a vacation to Guatemala showed the exact coffee fields where her organic coffee came from also served as the village dumping ground for trash and home to a pack of mangy feral dogs. It was far from being the pristine earth goddess environment she presumed it was. She now has three kids, so much for sustainability. Her absolute favorite piĂąata to bash was Walmart. Their "Handshake With Sam," in which Wal-Mart wants to be supplied by 100 percent renewable energy, create zero waste and sell products that sustain resources and environment, is met with uppity cynicism usually reserved for bashing Republicans. Oh lawdy! Nothing could get the fur flying in her circle of friends more than ranting about how Walmart clearly couldn't be green, even though it spends $500 million annually to do so. How could their favorite enemy possibly be more progressively green than their self-righteous efforts? I found it curious who she anointed as legitimate green messengers. That golden boy of the environment, Al Gore, and his (highly profitable) environmental agenda gets a passing grade, even though he eats
beef, travels by private jet and has a mansion with a carbon footprint significantly higher than the average American home. Government agencies that slap fines and regulations on environmental offenders get a thumbs up despite the duplicity that the most contaminated parts of America, such as military bases and Cold War era nuclear weapons program reservations, are on government land. The human aspect is apparently overlooked as well. Modern environmental standards imposed on industries (who were polluting far more when the EPA was created) have contributed to breaking the backs of many a company that found it more cost effective to move overseas where regulations aren't so stringent, thus taking jobs with them. How does the unemployed logger in Washington, factory worker in Ohio or coal miner in West Virginia explain to their kids they won't be getting anything for Christmas due to regulations imposed by some pencilpushing bureaucrat? Obviously, I'm being extreme just for the sake of playing devil's advocate. That doesn't change the fact that I have an annoyance with a pesky over-concern about my personal greenness. I've found the best way to shut up those types when they start their drone is to say, "You know what the most green thing you could do would be? Killing yourself. Being alive isn't environmentally sustainable." They don't like to hear that.
Downtown La Crosse, above Fayzes - 782-6622
top shots joke of the week Two hydrogen atoms walk into a bar. One says, "I've lost my electron." The other says, "Are you sure?" Check out our new Beers on Tap!
"Yes," the first one replies, "I'm positive." Good People, Good Drinks, Good Times
SUNDAY
$5 Pitchers $2 Bottles of Miller Products (11-4 pm) $2 Corona Bottles $2 Kilo Kai Mixers $3 Bloody’s (7-1am)
MONDAY TUESDAY
$1.75 - Miller/Bud Taps $2.25 Micro/Craft Taps $2.50 Cherry Bombs (7-1am)
$1.75 Rails $1.50 Domestic Taps $3.50 Jager Bombs (7-1am)
$2.00 - 1 Player, $3.00 - 2 Players 50 Cents Off Drinks, $1 Off Pitchers
WEDNESDAY $2 Domestic Bottles $2.50 Skyy/Absolute Mixers $2 Dr. Shots (7-1am)
THURSDAY FRIDAY 5 Domestic Bottles 4 $10 $5 Micro/Import Bottles $11.50, $7 Micro/Craft Pitchers (7-1am)
$5 Miller Lite/Bud Light Pitchers
SATURDAY $2.25 Leinies Bottles (7-1am)
$2 Captain Mixers $2 Long Islands $3 Effen Vodka Mixers (7-1am)
16// May 6, 2010
Second Supper
FREE
After $50 mail-in rebate that comes as a Visa Debit Card. Requires new 2-yr. agmt. and Premium Mobile Internet Plan. $30 act. fee may apply.
SAMSUNG CALIBER
®
TM
with Touch Screen and Your Navigator
LG BLISS
TM
with Touch Screen and Advanced User Interface
LG TRITAN
TM
with Touch Screen and Full QWERTY Keyboard
THREE free PHONES.
big FOUR DAYS. From May 5 through 8 only, get a free phone while supplies last during Free Phone Days and use it on the U.S. Cellular 3G Network. ®
Get a free Wireless Modem— and a free month of service if you’re a new modem customer. Access Facebook,® watch videos and download apps at 3G speed on your laptop. After $50 mail-in rebate that comes as a Visa Debit Card. Requires new 2-yr. agmt. and 5GB Wireless Modem Plan.
Let us help you find a location: visit uscellular.com or call 1-888-BUY-USCC Things we want you to know: New two-year agreement (subject to early termination fee) and credit approval required. A $30 activation fee may apply. Regulatory Cost Recovery Fee applies; this is not a tax or government-required charge. Additional fees, taxes, terms, conditions and coverage areas apply and vary by plan, service and phone. Promotional Phone subject to change. U.S. Cellular Visa Debit Card issued by MetaBank pursuant to a license from Visa U.S.A. Inc. Allow 10–12 weeks for processing. Card does not have cash access and can be used at any merchant location that accepts Visa Debit Cards. Card valid for 120 days after issued. Premium Mobile Internet Plan is $19.95 per month. Application and data network usage charges may apply when accessing applications. 3G Network only available with select handsets. Users can expect an average download speed of 768Kbps and an average upload speed of 200Kbps. Modem Access Discount: $49.95 access discount valid for the first month of a new two-year agreement with 5GB Wireless Modem Plan. Use of service constitutes acceptance of the terms of our Customer Service Agreement. See store for details or visit uscellular.com. Limited-time offer. Trademarks and trade names are the property of their respective owners. ©2010 U.S. Cellular.