Vol. 12, No. 6

JUNE 2012 | VOLUME 12, NO. 6

WWW.SECONDSUPPER.COM

A Digest of Coulee Region Culture

FULL SUMMER AHEAD! Our guide to the life of leisure [p 3]

The sense of ending The suffocating slog to finish Recall Madness

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2// June 1, 2012

POLITICS

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Second Supper | The Free Press

The sense of ending The suffocating slog to finish Recall Madness

By Bob Treu

Contributing editor

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A strange mood has settled over Wisconsin politics of late, something like a sudden ground fog rolling in on a clear night.

Or maybe it’s just me. Ever since this newspaper turned itself into a monthly I’ve felt a little out of synch. It was easy to feel connected last spring, when each week yielded up another story to chase down, another surprising chapter in the pulp fiction of Wisconsin politics to savor and try to understand. But now a month grinds by without resolution, and I’m afflicted with the nagging feeling I’ve just missed something. Partly it’s scheduling. As I write this the primary elections are not just over, they’re old news. The election itself is a few weeks away, but it too will fall between the ample gaps in our publication calendar. If I were Jimmy Carter I might be unwise enough to call it malaise. Maybe it’s just the aftereffects of wearing mouse ears and knowing my friends will be imagining me dancing with Annette Funicello as they read this.

But it’s not just me. Given the riotous energy the recall movement has generated, you would expect Tom Barrett yard signs to be popping up like dandelions, but as I biked around town this week, I saw just two, and one of those was in front of the Democratic Party headquarters. There are a fair number of pro-Walker signs to be seen, and a corresponding number demanding his recall, but it’s as if the governor’s opposition has hit a muddy rut and can’t quite transform itself from a protest movement to an election campaign with an actual candidate.

The primary results clarified nothing.

Barrett won the Democratic side handily, and Walker did even better on his side, collecting 97 percent of the vote, to Arthur Kohl-Riggs’ 3 percent. Personally, I was hoping for a Kohl-Riggs upset, which would have given us finally a governor with a classy hyphenated name. But the major story was the size of the Walker vote, which turned out to be 626,538, far better than any of the Democrats. On the other hand, if you add together the votes of the top four Democratic candidates, you get 665,441, and that makes Walker’s showing a little less impressive.

It’ll be a close race, for sure. Early in May the polls had Walker and Barrett virtually tied, and I predicted that once Barrett was established as a candidate, he would pick up steam. I was wrong. This morning’s Milwaukee Journal Sentinel reports a Marquette University poll showing Walker 6 points ahead. If that holds up it will be a repeat of the 2010 race, in which Walker beat Barrett by 5 points. The same poll found that 91 percent of Republicans say they will certainly vote, compared to 83 percent of Democrats.

The same article spoke of an “enthusiasm gap” among the recall proponents, but it looks more like the black hole of political

will.

And if that isn’t dispiriting enough, there’s all that money. Remember when we used to look with amusement at those early 20th Century cartoons satirizing the plutocrats buying politicians with fistfuls of cash?

They didn’t touch what’s going on now.

Walker has barely deigned to do any stumping around the state. In fact, he isn’t even in the state all that much. He leaves behind his television image to govern while he spends his time in Arizona, Texas or New York, wherever the right wingers like Sheldon Adelson and the Koch brothers are opening the strings of their money bags. In fact he has raised more cash than either Rick Santorum or Newt Gingrich did in their serious bids for national office. Walker has gathered in 25 times the cash Barrett has been able to raise, and if he wins, he should show his gratitude by replacing some of the current Capitol portraits with paintings and statues of his benefactors, or perhaps the Supreme Court members who gave us the Citizens United decision that made most of this possible. (Note: It’s also true that Walker was given an advantage by a quirk in state law that exempts officeholders from state campaign restrictions when facing a recall.)

Of course Walker likes to portray himself as working for the local folks while being victimized by out-of-state conspirators, the people he calls union thugs. Someone needs to tell him to relax. No union has pockets the size of his friends’. And there’s another difference. Walker’s money comes from people whose interest in Wisconsin is mostly ideological, whereas national unions have local memberships, working people who contribute to those organizations. The unions would be remiss if they failed to help their members in a time of crisis.

But money doesn’t buy votes, not yet. It can only buy lots of media time. Whether or not people will make up their minds on the basis of who has the best television portrayals or the meanest attack ads, remains to be seen.

Money is the issue in another important way. For decades this country operated successfully as a mixed economy. There was a sense of balance and relatively little acrimony. Young people could think of a life in public service with pride. In its most extreme form, current conservative ideology sees workers in the private sector as expendable and those in public service as a drag on the economy. The unemployed and the poor get even less consideration. In this vision of things the only productive people are the “job creators,” and of course they should make all the political decisions. In a recent interview, Mad Money’s Jim Cramer suggested that what the president should bring in six of the top corporate executives, ask them what to do, and then follow their advice.

CONTINUED ON PAGE 5

Second Supper | The Free Press

COMMUNITY

June 1, 2012 // 3

The heat is on: A summer guide

School is ending, TV is going into reruns, and the Milwaukee Brewers have been pretty much eliminated from playoff contention. That means it’s time to get outside and enjoy these beautiful days while the sun shines high and long and we won’t even have to think about the doubly-hard winter that we know is on its way. (Ah, forget we even mentioned it.) Here, Second Supper presents a humble guide to some our favorite things about summer. We include tips, reminiscing, and a few musing about these months that make Wisconsin great. Summer is here, everybody. Get out and enjoy it!

BBQ

There is a fi ne art to the summer barbeque, but really you only need a few simple things to turn your afternoon on the couch into a fi ne day in the sun. Even if you don’t have a backyard La Crosse is full of parks that have grills. You just need to bring some charcoal and some chow to char. Just remember: only fl ip a steak once, never squish your burgers and always, always boil your brats in beer before you toss them on the grill.

Farmers Markets

Support your local farmers by shopping at one of the many farmers markets in and around La Crosse. If you haven’t already checked out the Cameron Park Farmers Market, you should defi nitely make a point to do so. According to La Crosse County web site, Cameron Park is La Crosse’s only farmer-run market. It’s also the region’s only sustainable agriculture and arts market, serving local produce, meats and cheeses along with arts and crafts. Find all of these goodies in Cameron Park on King between Fourth Street and Fifth Avenue on Friday evenings from 4-8 p.m. If Friday night isn’t your produce shopping night you can always swing by the Bridgeview Plaza market on Wednesdays from 8 a.m. to 1 p.m., or the La Crosse County Farmers market on Saturdays from 6

a.m. to 1 p.m. in La Crosse County’s “courthouse” parking lot. You will never be sorry you went to any farmers market.

the free press

Fishing

Fish on! With opening weekend already behind is, it’s high time for lunkers.

With three rivers and a plethora of lakes, La Crosse is the perfect spot for any fi sherman. Whether you’re looking for bass, bluegills, crappies, walleyes or trout the Coulee Region has them. No boat? Not a problem.

You can catch pretty much whatever you’re looking for from shore. Plus, if you’re hard up for a watercraft, you can always rent one from Three Rivers Outdoors. Just remember your license, or pretend to be under 16 if the warden wanders too close.

Golf (ball and disc)

It’s a new season for both regular ball golf and disc golf, and last we checked we’re still in America and free to choose one or the other or — dare we say it? — both. While getting into ball golf for the fi rst time can be a little frustrating and greens fees can break some banks, there are some nice courses in the area like Pine Creek in La Crescent where you can get in a quick nine for under 20 bucks. If swinging a stick at a ball isn’t your thing you can always try disc golf. Frisbee golf (aka, “frolf”) is usually free, but some courses charge a single digit fee to play. Pettibone is a La Crosse favorite, but if you take the short trek to Winona there are a few gems up there that are certainly worth the drive.

Hiking

Summer sun has shone itself a little early this year, and the itch to escape from the depths of cabin fever needs to be scratched.

Instead of cooking yourself on a beach full of stray fl ying volleyballs and sand so hot it turns to glass, try going on a hike through one of La Crosse’s many recreation trails.

Perrot State Park offers lots of friendly day hikes while still accommodating those of us who are chasing a challenge. With its numerous trails, including Brady’s Bluff which ascends 520 feet to reveal a picturesque view of Trempealeau Bay, Perrot State Park allows visitors a chance to stretch their legs and enjoy the sights and amenities of a well-kept recreational area. Other recommended hiking trails to check out this summer include the La Crosse River State Trail, Hixton Forest nature trails, and Red Cloud Park trails.

Longboarding

We’re sure you seen people longboarding through town, looking all cool and taking it easy. If you want to try something new this summer, here are a few tips to get you started. The most popular shop in the area is Coalition Pro Skate Shop. Here you can fi nd longboards and necessary parts for success. Zumiez, in the mall, is a good place to look for suitable shoes. When starting to longboard, it is important to recognize safety techniques: stay off of the streets; wear a helmet; beware of cars, crosswalks, blind spots and big cracks in the sidewalk.

444 Main St., Suite 310 La Crosse, WI 54601 Phone: (608) 782-7001 Online: secondsupper.com Publisher: Roger Bartel roger.bartel@secondsupper.com Editor in Chief: Adam Bissen adam.bissen@secondsupper.com Sales: Mike Keith mike.keith@secondsupper.com Cover and Ad Design: Jenn Bushman Regular Contributors: Amy Alkon, Erich Boldt, Mary Catanese, Ashly Conrad,Ben Deline, Marcel Dunn, Brett Emerson, Shuggypop Jackson, Jonathan Majak, Matt Jones, Nate Willer

Patios

See and be seen while getting your grub on, because nothing says summer like a couple of refreshing beverages under the sun.

You may not see a lot of the patios around town, but that’s because a lot of the places keep them hidden around back or with a view of the water. Some of our favorite patios can be found at Huck Finn’s, Pettibone Boat Club, Four Sisters, River Jack’s and the Alpine Inn. But if you can’t fi nd a patio at a bar or restaurant, why not hit up a friend’s patio and do some grilling and just hang outside for a while. It’s summertime, and that’s all you need.

Camping

The Great Outdoors. Although John Candy and Dan Aykroyd can’t join you in your pursuit of the perfect camping vacation, La Crosse area camping destinations are working hard to create the relaxing, back to nature environment local campers can’t resist.

Located just 3 miles south of La Crosse, Goose Island sits adjacent to the Mississippi River, offering amazing views and beachside sunsets. Whether you’re looking for an exclusive fi shing hole, canoe and kayak rentals, or just a sunny spot to unwind on the beach, Goose Island Campground offers it all.

A little farther outside of the city limits and located directly on the La Crosse River State Bike Trail, Veterans Memorial Campground is another great option for your summer vacation. Also renowned for its wellmaintained grounds, Veterans Memorial Campground offers a family friendly atmosphere, modern amenities, and, of course, a 4-acre fi shing pond.

And with the dozens of sandbars in the area and sprawling wilderness just minutes away, there is no shortage of spots to pitch your tent. So get out and do it. There’s nothing better than a summer full of bug bites, smores and camping trips. But remember: Only you can prevent forest fi res.

By Jill Harden, Kallie Schell and Nate Willer.

Photos by Ashly Conrad

Second Supper is a monthly alternative newspaper published by Bartanese Enterprises LLC, 444 Main St., Suite 310, La Crosse, WI 54601 LETTERS TO THE EDITOR Send your letters to the editor to Second Supper, 444 Main St., , Suite 310, La Crosse, WI 54601 or by e-mail to editor@secondsupper.com.

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4// June 1, 2012

Second Supper | The Free Press

STREET BEAT

Social Networking celebrity crush:

Speak Your Mind

with Ashly Conrad

What is a goal you have this summer?

Kate Hudson

What is your biggest pet peeve?

Bad drivers

What book are you currently reading?

“Shit My Dad Says”

tell us your guiltiest pleasure: Smoking

NAME AND AGE:

tell us a joke:

Laura Jackson, 22

WHERE WERE YOU BORN? Willmar, Minn.

CURRENT JOB: La Cresent police officer who moonlights as a La Crosse bartender

DREAM JOB:

Two guys walk into a bar. The first guy says "I'll have an H2O." The second guy says "I'll have an H2O too." Then he dies. (H2O2 = bleach. Get it?)

If a genie granted you one wish, what would you ask for?

Teleportation abilities

A lounge singer in a jazz band

What one person alive or dead would you want to have dinner with?

last thing you googled:

Bob Barker

La Cresent High School's phone number

FIRST CONCERT YOU WENT TO:

if you could live anywhere in the world, where would it be?

Aaron Carter

Amsterdam

Name: Clark Burdick Age: 52 Occupation: Owner of Hot Dog Avenue/school bus driver A. To sell 3,000 hot dogs and to have people walk away satisfied.

Name: Andrew Hamilton Age: 44 Occupation: History professor A. Pull up all the wood violets in my yard.

Name: Kari Schilling Age: 40 Occupation: Nurse A. Lose weight.

Name: Mike Gessner Age: 29 Occupation: Quad Graphics A. Get a new job.

Name: Sara Severson Age: 30 Occupation: CNA, full-time student and soon to be server A. Lose 10 pounds and go to Noah's Ark.

Name: Aethan Garratt Age: 36 Occupation: Server at Kate's on State A. Save money.

Name: Carley Peters Age: 19 Occupation: Student A. Get into cycling since it's really big around here.

Name: Alex Brevik Age: 25 Occupation: Chef A. Spend more time outside hiking with my puppy.

Name: Ryan Hyland Age: 32 Occupation: Customer service representative A. Train for a half-marathon.

what's the last thing you bought?

Seven Hour Power and a pack of Marlboro 27s

what is Something you want to do before you die: Have a big house on a big lake

what is your beverage of choice?

Grainbelt Premium or a good cabarnet

what's in your pocket right now?: Cell phone, a lighter and two packs of Saltines — Compiled by Shuggypop Jackson, shuggypop.jackson@secondsupper.com

The Top Best-named local festivals 1. Catfish Days 2. Houston Hoedown 3. Spanferkel 4. June Dairy Days 5. Freedom Fest 6. Pride Fest 7. Butterfest

Ways to boost turnout for recall election 1. Run a decent Democrat 2. Rebrand all elections as "U Call It" 3. Make an app for that 4. Allow voting at Kwik Trip 5. Have Donald Driver make a pro-voting PSA 6. Move election to Nov. 6 7. If you discover someone didn't vote, don't sleep with them

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Second Supper | The Free Press

Ending CONTINUED FROM PAGE 2 He didn’t say bring in the CEOs along with representatives of other interests, only the money people. I don’t remember reading about this form of democracy in my political science courses.

The Wisconsin uprising gets so much attention because it represents an attack on democratic institutions everywhere. It’s a national phenomenon and it’s becoming global. Recently the EU bankers told the Greek government they would give them the loans necessary to avoid disaster, but only if they adopted a severely austere domestic program. When George Papandreou, the Greek president, suggested he would put it to the Greek people in the form of a referendum, the bankers reacted as if this democratic procedure was the height of irresponsibility.

And in all such cases, the analysis is the same.

If you cut public spending and put enough government employees out of work, things will get better. And of course they will, for banks and corporations, who will not only insure their profits but gain substantial political power in the process.

That’s really the choice we’re facing in Wisconsin. We can have a system where all the decisions except the most trivial are made by those with money and influence, or we can opt for something more progressive, where every voice is heard.

None of this is to suggest jobs are not an important issue everywhere. Gov. Walker promised something like a quarter of a million jobs in the first three years of his administration. Nonetheless, Wisconsin has been dead last since Walker took office, and that was still true at the beginning of the May. But today, along with the uptick in Walker’s standings in the polls, the Journal Sentinel announced

The Bluff

A Bit of Satire

Walker steps down ... in Barrett's mind

Gov. Scott Walker announced his resignation at a press conference early Wednesday afternoon, according to Milwaukee Mayor Tom Barrett’s imagination.

Barrett’s subconscious revealed he believed Walker was facing an indictment from the John Doe investigation that yielded charges of campaign law violations against some former aides. Reading from a statement Barrett dreamed up, Walker spoke to a group of protesters and supporters on the Capitol steps: “I hereby tender my resignation to the citizens of Wisconsin. I apologize for my actions in the past, in which I was a stupid, stupid jerk. I am sorry for all of the political divisiveness I’ve caused this state, and I think Tom Barrett is just the man this state needs to turn this state around. Forward!”

Barrett then awoke from his daydream to discover that he was still sitting in the mayor’s office, still trailing Walker in campaign donations by $24 million and still trailing Walker by over five points in the latest poll from Marquette University. With a heavy

POLITICS a gain of 23,321 jobs from December 2010 to December 2011. That’s a huge difference from the loss of 33,900 jobs previously reported. This is supposedly because the negative figures were the result of the Current Employment Survey, while new, more positive survey comes from something called the Quarterly Census of Wages and Employment, which the state does and forwards to the U.S. Bureau of Labor Statistics. This second process has a better reputation for accuracy than the first. On the other hand, these figures were supposed to be analyzed by the federal agency and released to the public on June 28. Since that is too late to help him in the election, the governor released the figures early, and there is no easy way to verify them. Then tonight, to make matters more confusing, the state released figures showing another 6,200 jobs lost in April.

Like you, I have no way to know which figures are more accurate or whether somebody has been cooking the books, but I am sure we will hear a lot more about this subject in the next few weeks. What I do know is that it is reckless for anyone to make a certain connection between job growth and what a governor does in his first year in office. All along Walker has blamed Wisconsin’s poor job performance on his opposition, as if the prospect of his being recalled was frightening employers. If the good numbers hold up, will he say the recall effort stimulated job growth? Furthermore, jobs are not just a state issue, and if things improve, he might want to share some of the credit with the president. If the governor does pull off a job creation miracle, it will be one of the few times, if any, that breaking unions and firing workers has improved the job situation anywhere. What it improves is corporate profits.

There is a huge fear factor involved in the jobs issue as well. You may abhor everything the Republicans stand for, their attacks on women, the environment, education, what-

sigh, Barrett got up slowly from his desk and pulled open the blinds from his office window. Looking out at the Milwaukee skyline, he sighed to himself: “god dammit.”

Kochs: All we really wanted was cabin

Charles and David Koch, well known donors to the super PAC Americans For Prosperity, which supports Gov. Scott Walker’s union-busting efforts, revealed this week the only interest they really had in Wisconsin was a cabin Up North for the winter.

“To be honest, we don’t really know why our contributions were used in this way,” Charles Koch said. “We only wanted to have a premier log cabin up in Pierce County.

We never intended for our donations to be taken so negatively.”

David added, “All we ever wanted was to have a nice cabin where we could relax during the winter; a nice place to take in the beautiful scenery of a northern Wisconsin winter and to do obscene amounts of cocaine off of strippers.”

The Koch brothers also said they could not care less about the collective bargaining laws in Wisconsin, and wanted to know where they could purchase a good auger drill for ice fishing.

ever. You may like the Democratic candidate better, but if you find yourself out of work at the age of 50, or even just in danger of losing your job, you’re likely to hold your nose and vote for Republicans in the desperate hope they might actually create a few jobs.

Curiously enough, Gov. Walker likes to call his policies “progressive.” Yet, like most Republicans he tells us the way to a better future is to undo every accomplishment of the progressive tradition. Wisconsin was, after all, the first state to grant collective bargaining rights to state employees. Walker, and most Republicans, claim that dumping hard won rights and safeguards will take us forward into a shining future. But the world they describe is not new; it is the world of the past, when people struggled without unemployment insurance, minimum wage requirements, or Social Security.

If this happens, however, Walker will not have accomplished it alone. If Wisconsin has a vital progressive tradition, it has also nourished a strong conservative strain, and since 1980, when Sen. Gaylord Nelson was defeated in the wake of Ronald Reagan’s winning the presidency, we have been following the rest of the country in a steady shift

June 1, 2012 // 5 to the right. What we have seen is that when states try to attract corporations by slashing their support of education, health care and the needy generally, they are engaging in a race to the bottom.

I admit a good part of the frustration I feel doing this piece is driven by the fiction writer’s obsession with storyline and development. If Walker wins, there will be celebrating and noble speeches. One imagines sly winks and the clinking of champagne glasses, and I will make a point of watching Sean Hannity’s reaction as a test of my character. If Barrett wins, there will be dancing in the streets and speeches filled with hope and love. I mean that, even though I can feel the irony seeping through my words like corn liquor from a cracked silo. We will want to believe a conclusion has been arrived at, some final victory or defeat, but that won’t happen. It isn’t likely that either side will suddenly see truth in the other’s position, and we will remain as divided and apprehensive as ever. It will be more like a modernist ending, where at best we can catch our breath and imagine something better, while our partner flashes an ironic smile and says, “Isn’t it pretty to think so?”

6// June 1, 2012

The Month in Theatre

By Jonathan Majak jonathan.majak@secondsupper.com In case you missed it:

When it comes to the latest batch of shows being done in La Crosse, it was all about sister- and brotherhood as the Muse Theatre mounted a production of the girlpower-infused revue “A ... My Name is Alice” while La Crosse Community Theatre staged the musical juggernaut of London’s West End “Blood Brothers.” Both shows managed to, through great acting and direction,

Second Supper | The Free Press

ARTS overcome some of the fl aws of their shows to make great productions that played well to their respective audiences.

“A ... My Name is Alice” is less of a traditional show and more of a theatrical collage of sketches and songs to talk about the female experience. Devoid of the lofty goals as well as sometimes crushing self- importance of “The Vagina Monologues,” “A … My Name is Alice” is, at its best points, a great vehicle to show off the talents of the actresses participating in it. Cast members Beth Lakmann, Wendy Acola, Julie Mullenberg, Janet Papenfuss and co-director Vicki Elwood sparkled in the show with not only their comedic talents

but also the warm sense of camaraderie. Particularly funny numbers were “Pretty Young Men,” a number all about the ladies experiencing the joys of going to a male stripper, as well as Vicki Elwood’s hilarious performance in “For Women Only Poems,” a sharp sendup of the more strident quarters of feminism in the form of a kooky poet who never met a metaphor she couldn’t use.

And while the ladies were busily making audiences laugh at the Muse, LCT was wringing out both chuckles and tears from its audience at “Blood Brothers.” A story of love, fate, and separated brothers, the plotline of “Blood Brothers” admittedly is always on the cusp of tipping over from melodrama to outright camp, but director Greg Parmeter, along with the terrifi c cast, kept the show grounded in some semblance of reality, even if that reality seemed to involve British accents that ranged from dead-on to non-existent.

As the titular blood brothers, Eric Busse and Justin Cooke were absolute delights, particularly in the fi rst act when they are playing younger versions of the brothers.

As their beleaguered birth mother and the wealthy adoptive mother of Cooke’s character, Kelley Manson and Jen Roberdeau, respectively, played their maternal fi gures to the hilt, while Sara Meyer as the requisite girl who comes between the brothers a believable love interest we could totally buy two young men fi ghting over. Helping to both tie the show together as well as occasionally steal it was Russell Vaden as The Narrator, a

character as much sinister observer as he is gleeful interloper. The ensemble should be given a lot of credit, especially since the high energy number “Kids’ Games” is easily one of my favorite of the entire 2011-2012 theatre season.

Coming up:

Running through June 8: A production of Neil Simon’s hilarious and infi nitely quotable military comedy “Bilxoi Blues” will be staged at the Pump House Regional Arts Center. Tickets are $18 in advance and $21 at the door.

June 15-24: The La Crosse Community Theatre will stage a theatrical adaptation of the classic children’s story “The Phantom Tollbooth.” Tickets are $10 for adults, $5 for kids.

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Second Supper | The Free Press

June 1, 2012 // 7

THE PLANNER

JUNE

The Month in Preview the day, with the 451st Army Band taking the stage first. The Remainders kick off at 4:30, Foreigner at 6:30 and everyone’s favorite Wisconsin guitar hero, Steve Miller, takes the stage at 8:45. Tickets are still available at Kwik Trip stores and online at the Freedom Fest website. Be there or be square. Seriously, your parents will call you a square for not going cause that was insulting back then.

music | fine arts | Father’s Day | Summer Solstice | State track championships June Dairy Days | NBA Finals | theater

the Mississippi Valley Mayhem will be taking on the Fox City Foxz. Doors open at 6 p.m., and the bout starts at 7 p.m. For more information visit mississippivalleymayhem.com. So come on down and root on our ladies of the rink as they try to end the season on a high note. They’ll be jammin’!

Sun., June 17 PARK INTO SOME JAZZ

Sat., June 16 Sat., June 2 GET THE BLUES

@ Trempealeau Hotel Now we all know that sunshine and warm weather is not the typical image that comes to mind when one hears blues music, but trust us when we say that there are few places in the area that are better suited for the Blues Bash than the Trempealeau Hotel. This year’s lineup features four stellar bands, Everett Smithson Band, Sena Ehrhardt, Hamilton Loomis and Clovis Mann. The music starts 2 p.m. Saturday, June 2 with the Everett Smithson Band and concludes in the Saloon with Clovis Mann’s late-night jam. At just $16, tickets are a total steal.

And if you’re worried about having too much fun at the bash and driving home dangerously, don’t. It’s a hotel. Just get a room and catch breakfast on your way out.

Sat., June 16 FREEDOM!

@ Veterans Memorial Field Do you like freedom, motorcycles, the Steve Miller Band, Foreigner and the Remainders? If you said yes to more than three of these things, then you need to make your way down to Veterans Memorial Field on Saturday, June 16.

Freedom Fest gets rolling at 10:30 a.m. with a motorcycle rally. The ride departs UW-La Crosse at 11:30 and aims to return around 2:30. The stadium gates open at 3 p.m. for the musical portion of

GET UP ON COON CREEK

@ Veterans Park, Coon Creek Once upon a time the Coulee Region hosted the Coon Creek Races, a personal watercraft celebration turned prodigious drinking rally that incited the sort of riot-like behavior that put La Crosse on the national news and got our fine creek race canceled. (This is why we can’t have nice things.) But we should not forget about Coon Creek just because we can’t slam a case of Keystones and watch Alumacrafts speed by. No, it is still a perfectly excellent body of water in its own rite, and on June 16 the Coon Creek Trout Festival will celebrate everything we love about creeks, namely the wildlife and the good people that gather beside them. The 2012 edition will feature fly fishing lessons, gear demos, a kids trout derby, DNR aquarium, arts and crafts, a bobber race, car show and music

by Sellout, the Freezers, and Jimy, Johnny and Jay. The whole shebang goes down at Veterans Park in Coon Valley. For more information and to visit a trippy website, check out cooncreektroutfest.com.

Sun., June 16 ROLL WITH IT

@ Green Island Ice Arena Come cheer on your local roller derby team in their last home bout of the season. On Saturday, June 16 at the Green Island Ice Arena,

@ Riverside Park, La Crosse It’s that time of year again, and we’re not talking BBQ or recall elections.

Jazz in the park is back at Riverside Park for two shows in June. Each week, The La Crosse Jazz Orchestra will offer listeners something a little different. The performance Sunday, June 10, will feature Eau Claire singer/actress Cathy Reitz swinging hard on Ella Fitzgerald’s, “I Want to Be Happy.” The June 17 show will blow your mind when drummer Tim Henke puts down his sticks and picks up the mic and the Great American Songbook. Both shows start at 7 p.m. and are free. The La Crosse Jazz Orchestra has been playing tunes together since 1972 and any chance to see these musicians, for free, in a park, is a can’t-miss.

Sun., June 17 CATCH SOME ISLAND MUSIC

@ Robin’s Nest, French Island Danny “Animal” Steers lived larger than life.

A vivacious personality with a love of good times and live music, he owned the inimitable Slough bar on French Island and left an indelible mark on the local scene before passing away earlier this year. In

order to celebrate his life and help raise funds for his family, a who’s-who of local musicians will come together on Sunday, June 17, for Savin’ the Slough. Located at Robin’s Nest on 328 Goddard St. (the Slough is great, but way too small to host this lineup), Savin’ the Slough will feature over a half-dozen band in an all-day event that begins at noon. So far the lineup includes Moon Boot Posse. Cheech and the Family Band, the Dave Rogers Band, Honest Monday, the Gravel Road Band, and Clock with more artists likely to be announced. T.U.G.G. will close out the day with a post-party at the Slough itself.

This is sure to be a party for the ages, so come out to the Island to celebrate the way Danny would have wanted you to.

Thur., June 21-24 GET A PIECE OF BASS

@ Veterans Freedom Park If you enjoy the sport of fishing but hate all that pesky casting and reeling, get ready for the armchair angler’s dream.

The Bassmaster Elite Series will be rolling into town with their $50,000 bassboats, $500 fishing poles, BluBlockers and vests with sponsors’ names embroidered on. These will be some of the best professional anglers in the world, and for the weekend of June 21-24, they will be tackling the Mississippi River, so come down and see how the pros do it.

Tournament central is Veterans Freedom Park, which is near the boat landing between Copeland Park and French Island. Weigh-ins will occur daily at 3:15 p.m., and tournament grounds will also have children’s games, inflatables, food and beverages. So if you want to see the pros haul lunkers out of the same fishing holes that leave you dry, come out and watch them test the waters.

8// June 1, 2012

MUSIC

A night to get twisted Jake Phillips, owner of Twisted Skulls Studios, is throwing a one-year anniversary party for his business, which features tattoos but also is an art gallery featuring work by Phillips and other artists. The celebration is June 2 at JB's Speakeasy and features several bands.

Contributed Photo

La Crosse tattoo artist throws himself anniversary bash

By Jason Crider

jason.crider@secondsupper.com

Local tattoo artist Jake Phillips couldn’t have sounded more proud when I interviewed him about the one-year anniversary party he’s throwing to support his very own Twisted Skull Studios. The party will be held at JB’s Speakeasy on Saturday, June 2, and features live music from local favorites Shot To Hell and Sowbelly Bitchhog, as well as Illinois rockers The Pimps.

Obsessed with drawing and painting for as far back as he can remember, Phillips moved to La Crosse in 1995 and quickly decided he wanted to devote his life to making art — on people. After a few years he was able to land a piercing apprenticeship at a downtown tattoo parlor that was his foot-inthe-door for his dream of becoming a tattoo artist. He spent the next several years as a piercer, sojourning in Colorado and Iowa before finally returning to La Crosse in 2000 where he eventually landed an apprenticeship as a tattoo artist. Now with over a decade of tattoo experience and a ton of hard work, Phillips is excited to celebrate the one-year anniversary of his shop.

“My goal was to do something different,” said Phillips. “I wanted my shop to be the best in the area.” Twisted Skull Studios doubles in a way as an art gallery, where local artists are encouraged to bring in their art to display and sell. Phillips and Mike Marty, Twisted Skulls’ other artist, both have some of their own oil paintings on display at the shop as well. “Most people don’t know what

tattoo shops are all about, but real tattoo shops are all about the art,” said Phillips, who prides himself on the fact that Twisted Skull focuses entirely on custom work. “Every tattoo is (one-of-a-kind). We do all custom work; we don’t have any pre-set designs.

We’re usually booked for a week or two in advance, so I can actually sit down and spend time on the design beforehand.”

His dedication, hard work and unique art have paid off, as Twisted Skull Studios became an instant success. Phillips describes the last year as being incredibly smooth and exciting. “There haven’t really been any bumps along the way; it’s been really successful,” he said. “That’s what this whole party is about: customer appreciation. It’s all coming out of my pocket.”

The anniversary party at JB’s Speakeasy will have a $5 cover charge, which includes a raffle ticket that gives attendees a chance to win prizes such as T-shirts or one of several $50 gift cards redeemable for work at Twisted Skull Studios. “I’ll be doing the raffle all in one shot, not scattered throughout the night,” said Phillips. There will also be free stickers and pins for those wanting to show off some Twisted Skull flair.

Phillips personally selected the lineup for the show from bands he is personal friends with. Local rock quartet Shot To Hell will be opening, showcasing their effortless blend of grungy, country, garage punk rock to support Twisted Skull as well as their upcoming fifth full-length album tentatively scheduled for release this fall.

The group’s last release, Somehow For-

ever, is one of my personal favorite local albums as its lyrical, thematic and sonic qualities culminate in a perfunctorily delightful feel that can’t be beat. It’s a gracefully executed culmination of both contemporary and classic kickass rock and roll at its finest.

Local act Sowbelly Bitchhog will also be there, trudging along with their southernrock-infused stoner rock badassery. Formed in 2002, the group has become a local hard rock staple at places like the Joint and JB’s Speakeasy with their growling singing and deep, melodic guitar sludge, rising like a phoenix above the typical bar-rock mediocrity that tends to fester in places like La Crosse.

Last but (to beat an idiomatic dead horse) not least, Illinois rock outfit The Pimps will be making a pilgrimage to the anniversary show to bedazzle venue patrons with a hearty dollop of no-holds-barred, bitchin’ punk rock that’ll give even the most reserved music-listener some nostalgia. Most notably, the group has been featured on NBC’s crimedrama “Third Watch,” as well as having their song “Rocket Science” featured on the “Mission: Impossible II” soundtrack (admittedly, it’s the only track without a blue link on the soundtrack’s Wikipedia page, but still).

Just looking at the scale and tenacity of Twisted Skull Studios’ one-year anniversary party, I don’t think Phillips could have done a more kickass job saying thank you to the community. And in terms of how successful the studio has been and how far he’s come, I think Phillips sums it up best: “I couldn’t be happier going to work everyday. Not many people can say that.”

Second Supper | The Free Press

Music Directory FEATURED SHOWS Friday, June 1 Bottoms Up — Bandsaw Brothers (jam rock) • 9 p.m.

Popcorn — Moon Boot Posse (jam reggae) • 10 p.m.

Trempealeau Hotel — Dave Orr & The Providers (Blues Bash Warm-Up) • 8 p.m.

Warehouse — 123 Walrus,Something To Do, The Skattsmen, 64 Squares, Mild Mannered Men (ska/punk) • 7 p.m.

Saturday — June 2 JB’s — Shot To Hell, Sowbelly Bitchhog, The Pimps (Twisted Skull birthday party) • 10 p.m.

Popcorn — Mark Joseph Project w/ Deploi (featuring Al from the Big Wu) • 10 p.m.

Trempealeau Hotel — Everett Smithson Band, Sena Ehrhardt , Hamilton Loomis, Clovis Mann (Blues Bash) • 2 p.m.

Wednesday — June 6 Popcorn — 300+ (rock) • 10 p.m.

Thursday — June 7 Dublin Square — The Journeymen (CD release) • 6 p.m.

Fat Sams — Cheech (Rhythm N' Brews) • 8 p.m.

Hog Wild — Lewis Brice (county rock) • 8 p.m.

Trempealeau Hotel — Jeff White (songwriter) • 7 p.m.

Friday — June 8 JB’s — Bandsaw Brothers (jam rock) • 10 p.m.

Muse Theatre — Pearl Jam Tribute • 7:30 p.m.

On The Rocks — Jim Seem (singer/songwriter) • 9 p.m.

Piggy’s — The Pumps (blues) • 8 p.m.

Popcorn — Evergreen Grass Band (jamgrass) • 10 p.m.

Saturday — June 9 Fox Hollow — Paxico Acoustic Trio • 8 p.m.

Muse Theatre — Neil Young Tribute • 7:30 p.m.

Piggy’s — The Pumps (blues) • 8 p.m.

Popcorn — Sterbus (jamband) • 10 p.m.

Trempealeau Hotel — Boo Bradley (Cajun blues) • 7 p.m.

Sunday — June 10 Root Note — Natty Nation (reggae) • 7 p.m.

Tuesday — June 12 Pettibone Boat Club — Cheech Hall (rock) • 5 p.m.

Wednesday — June 13 Popcorn — Andy and Joe's Jam • 10 p.m.

Thursday — June 14 Fat Sams — Laura Jackson (Rhythm N' Brews) • 8 p.m.

Friday — June 15 Hog Wild — The Fabulous Baloney Skins (party band) • 8 p.m.

Saturday — June 16 Popcorn — Honest Monday (swamp folk) • 10 Root Note — Ultraviolet Hippopotamus (jamband) • 9 p.m.

Veterans Memorial Field — Steve Miller Band, Foreigner, The Remainders and the 451st Army Band (Freedom Fest) • 2 p.m.

CONTINUED ON PAGE 9

Second Supper | The Free Press

The Majak Mixtape

By Jonathan Majak jonathan.majak@secondsupper.com

Oh Facebook creator Mark Zuckerberg, the messiness of your stocks situation is what we at the Majak Mixtape like to think of as some sort of cosmic retribution of inflicting Facebook Timeline on the social network-using masses. What was supposed to be this huge success has turned into a mild flop of sorts.

It’s like the financial equivalent of letting “Friday Night Lights” star Taylor Kitsch star in a blockbuster. With angry grumbling from stockholders, intense media scrutiny and even a lawsuit or two, Facebook is definitely not going to click “Like” on this situation. But have no fear, we here at the Mixtape are here to put this situation in perspective in a mix we’re dubbing the “You’ve Been Tagged in a Photo (And a Class Action Suit).”

We kick off the Mixtape with “Open” from Regina Spektor’s new album “What We Saw From the Cheap Seats,” as Facebook opened itself up to the world with an initial public offering of stocks at the price of $38. And faster than you can link to Sweet Brown talking not having time for bronchitis, people were questioning everything from the price of the stock to how much

MUSIC & FOOD was going to be offered and using a whole bunch of language we only hear when we’re day napping and accidentally leave the television on CNBC instead of that marathon of “Snapped” on Oxygen.

All of this stock strife leads us to our next song “You Are the Reason From My Troubles” by Mojomatics. Now shareholders have filed lawsuits about the Facebook stocks, claiming that Mark Zuckerberg, among others, like the underwriting companies, misled them and have caused them to lose money. We’re not sure of Mark Zuckerberg’s guilt or innocence in this situation, but we do find it hilarious that people could be remotely surprised at him maybe being less than scrupulous in regards to Facebook.

Like seriously? Guess nobody has the Winklevoss twins’ phone numbers.

And in the midst of all of this hoopla, Mark Zuckerberg up and got married to his long-time girlfriend of nine years. This leads us to our last song “One Love to Another” from Edward Sharpe and the Magnetic Zeros’ latest album “Here.” Zuckerberg and his girlfriend, Priscilla, surprised friends and family who thought they were attending a graduation celebration for medical student Priscilla. Unsurprisingly, Zuckerberg posted a photo to his Facebook and proved that there is something in fact more awkward than a massage session with John Travolta.

Ending, as always, on a classy joke, folks.

Artist of the Month: Gossip and their new album “Joyful Noise” Must Read: The Line of Best Fit www.thelineofbestfit.com YouTube: The new season of The Misadventures of Awkward Black Girl, premiering this month.

Music Directory CONTINUED FROM PAGE 8

(rock) • 10 p.m.

Sunday — June 17 Robin’s Nest — TUGG, Moon Boot Posse, Cheech and the Family Band, Dave Rogers Band, Honest Monday, Gravel Road Band, Clock (Savin’ the Slough) • noon Wednesday — June 20 River Jacks — The Journeymen (oldies) • 6 p.m.

Popcorn — Terrapin Shells (Grateful Dead tribute) • 10 p.m.

Thursday — June 21 Fat Sams — Stacy Stevens (Rhythm N' Brews) • 8 p.m.

Friday — June 22 Fat Sams — The Simple Rogues (Rhythm N' Brews) • 8 p.m.

The Helm — Sons of a Peach (Allman Brothers Tribute) • 9 p.m.

Wednesday — June 27 Popcorn — Andy and Joe's Jam • 10 p.m.

Thursday — June 28 Fat Sams — Andy Hughes (Rhythm N' Brews) • 8 p.m.

Pettibone Boat Club — Cheech Hall (rock) • 5 p.m.

Saturday — June 30 Popcorn — Steve Sullivan and the Factory

Sunday La Crosse Queen — The Journeymen (dinner cruise) • 6 p.m.

Popcorn — Innocuous Voodoo (funk) • 10 p.m.

Riverside Park — La Crosse Jazz Orchestra • 7 p.m.

Monday Del’s — Cheech’s Open Jam • 10 p.m.

Popcorn — Grants Open Jam • 10 p.m.

Tuesday Popcorn — Paulie • 10 p.m.

Root Note — 3rd Relation Jazz • 7 p.m.

Wednesday Riverside Park — La Crosse Concert Band • 7:30 p.m.

Thursday Popcorn — Dave Orr’s Blues Jam • 10 p.m.

Root Note — Open Mic • 8 p.m.

Starlite — Kies & Kompanie (jazz) • 5 p.m.

Friday La Crosse Queen — The Journeymen (dinner cruise) • 7:30 p.m.

Saturday La Crosse Queen — The Journeymen (dinner cruise) • 6 p.m.

WEEKLY SHOWS

June 1, 2012 // 9

Photo by Ashly Conrad

Howie's' Bar and Restaurant on La Crosse Street has undergone a major renovation, which includes a new kitchen, and in April introduced an all-new menu featuring gourmet burgers and sandwiches.

Dining Out

By Marcel Dunn Special to Second Supper

Howie's 1128 La Crosse St., La Crosse 608.784.7400

Let’s be honest with each other. La Crosse is lousy with bar and grills. Most of these establishments would rather serve you drinks than a great sandwich, and in a town where you can get a drink just about anywhere, the food becomes an afterthought.

So the brass tacks of the situation comes down to why you should spend your money at Howie’s and not some other joint. The answer is the food.

The recently renovated and refreshed Howie’s on La Crosse Street fits a tried and true model in restaurateurship, that of the bar and grill. As many know, up until recently Howie’s was more known for its drag shows and less-than-stellar interior decorating than the food on the menu. But after a successful redesign that is much more than just a fresh coat of paint, Howie’s can safely emphasize the grill portion of their subtitle without embarrassment.

When I first walked into Howie’s I was very surprised. Initial reports (not having stepped foot in there myself) were that Howie’s was a place for cheap drinks and loud music. Well the speaker system still works just fine but now, when compared with similar establishments, Howie’s is positively resplendent. High ceilings and recessed lighting overlook a large floor space filled with tall tables and chairs, with a long, v-shaped bar that acts as the centerpiece of the room. Behind that bar lies a well-lit display case of over a hundred beer cans from

all walks of brewing life, which comes off as a confusingly tacky design choice in an otherwise well done restaurant, but is amusing nonetheless.

Once I sat down and admired some of the black and white photographs of historic La Crosse (is it just me or do too many restaurants do this in our city?) that line the walls, I again found myself pleasantly surprised by the menu. Sandwiches, burgers, wraps and salads all sound like your typical fare, but Howie’s manages to keep things interesting by sampling the flavors of different regions such as Carolina BBQ, Buffalo-style chicken, Wisconsin brats and my choice, the Florida-style Cuban. Now let’s talk about that Cuban sandwich.

My initial impressions of the Cuban sandwich were unimpressive. It came on a panini-style bun that looked rather thin and tepid, and my first thought was, “Hey, at least the side salad looks good.” Fortunately the first bite turned those impressions right around. For such an unimpressive looking sandwich, it packed a ton of flavor. The smoked pork and ham provide the balance in a sandwich with such sharp and distinctive tastes like the sourness of pickles and the vinegar-base of mustard. It is this balancing act that Howie’s pulls off with aplomb by not allowing any one flavor to overpower the others. They also avoid one of the great pitfalls of bar and grill food by not overflowing the sandwich with too much meat and cheese, thereby allowing the individual flavors to stand on their own.

It is without much trepidation that I can safely say this was one of the better sandwiches I’ve had at a bar and grill.

Howie’s seems to be moving in a fantastic new direction and I truly think they’ve established themselves as one of the better grills amongst the flowing taps and flooding shots of the La Crosse bar scene.

10// June 1, 2012

The Beer Review

"Special K" It's good for you

By Matt Jones

ACROSS 1 ___ nectar 6 Give the cold shoulder 10 Old El ___ (salsa brand) 14 Tennis champ Rafael 15 Petty of "Tank Girl" 16 "Like ___ not!"

17 Get a gold nose ring?

19 Firehouse fixture 20 ___-Bilt (power tool brand) 21 Feel sick 22 Electric guitar pioneer 24 Morales of "NYPD Blue" 26 She tells you to wear clean underwear 28 Talks big 29 River that starts in the Swiss Alps 31 Fable ending 33 Peg for Bubba Watson 34 Vending machine drinks 35 ___ Puffs

Second Supper | The Free Press

CONSUMPTION

37 Report from the musical instrument store?

42 Li'l comic strip character 43 Joe amount 45 Had hash browns 48 Immigration island 50 Cornered 51 Scary Bela 53 A, in Austria 55 Sea birds 56 Get someone mad 58 Negative answers 60 Cleopatra's killer 61 Historical novelist ___ Seton 62 Finish up with Tom's wife?

65 Anorak, e.g.

66 Caustic substances 67 "___ Man" (1992 hit

by Positive K) 68 Late actress Bancroft 69 Ivy League school with its own golf course 70 Mr. Jeter DOWN

Answers on Page 6

1 Crossword solutions 2 "Win Ben Stein's Money," e.g.

3 Capital of South Australia 4 Michael's "Batman" successor 5 Jazz legend Fitzgerald 6 Downhill event 7 Postal creed word 8 River through Russia 9 Attack the attacker 10 Maid of honor at William and Kate's 2011 wedding 11 Words said while raising glasses 12 It's dissolved into a solvent 13 Ultimatum ending 18 Khloe's sister 23 It's just him or her on stage 25 "Dancing With the Stars" judge Carrie Ann ___ 27 "Whose Line Is It Anyway?" regular Colin

30 Paul Anka hit subtitled "That Kiss!"

32 Go bad 36 Sky-blue 38 With really long odds 39 Toothpaste variety 40 Smooth player 41 Aptly-named precursor to Wikipedia 44 Jargon with lots of bold claims 45 Andean animal 46 Plus in the dating world 47 "The Sweet Hereafter" director Atom ___ 49 Gary who played Lieutenant Dan 52 Egg-shaped 54 Quebec rejection 57 Singer formerly of the group Clannad 59 Make tire marks 63 Tierra ___ Fuego 64 What some golfers use as a scoring goal ©2012 Jonesin' Crosswords

wE have moved!

444 main St., Suite 310, La Crosse, WI 54601

the free press

Office hours by appointment only

Righteous Ale Sixpoint Brewery Brooklyn, New York

Last winter, on a trip to New York City, I had a beer experience akin bumping into an old flame or a college buddy I hadn’t thought about in years. All around the five boroughs, I kept ducking into bars and seeing the same brand on tap, the much ballyhooed Sixpoint Brewery. In only eight years, this Brooklyn company took the Big Apple by storm. I thought their beers were OK — mostly simple ales and thin lagers that a Park Slope blogger might label “authentic” — but soon I learned the shocking connection that whisked me back to wide-eyed nights of my youth.

Sixpoint was founded by Shane Ryan, a Wisconsin native and UW-Madison graduate who moved to New York in 2004 to stake his future on beer. Prior to that exodus, Ryan worked at the Angelic Brewpub, a tap house that more than any other institution opened my 21-year-old eyes to the world of craft beers. The Angelic’s run was bright but brief.

For reasons unknown, Ryan and head brewmaster Dean Coffee broke their partnership somewhere around my junior year. Coffee went on to start Madison’s terrific Ale Asylum, while Ryan finished up his degree and hightailed it out to New York. Now Sixpoint is undergoing a third act rare to Midwestern expatriates: It has returned to Wisconsin, though mostly in Madison liquor stores.

While visiting my alma mater, I had to pick up some 16-ounce cans of Righteous Ale to try to rekindle those fond college memories and erase the easy cynicism of New York.

Purchase: 4-pack of Righteous Ale from

Riley’s in Madison, $9.99

Style: Rye beer

Strength: 6.3 percent ABV

Packaging: Sixpoint beers come in cool silver cans that seem to encourage a revolution that is both communist and beer-centric. Clenched-fist icons are prevalent, as are brewing measurements like 57 IBU and 19 SRM.

Appearance: The Righteous Ale pours a dark tawny-brown with a thin grey head that leaves fine lacing.

Aroma: This has a huge rye aroma, like a hearty Russian bread, along with notes of Germanic malts and something like orange marmalade.

Taste: Although the “RyePA” is an increasingly common style, the Righteous Ale has a particularly unconventional flavor that may be off-putting to casual beer drinkers. The main notes are bitter and astringent, not sweet or citrusy like conventional IPAs. There’s a light base of toasted malts over huge handfuls of rye and some bittering hops that I didn’t recognize but left my mouth pleasantly puckered.

Mouthfeel: Surprisingly thin-bodied and smooth, given the flavor profile

Drinkability: I could handle a few cans of this, but I enjoy uncompromisingly assertive beers.

Ratings: BeerAdvocate readers score this a 90, while RateBeer awards it a 94. Of all the Sixpoint beers I tried in New York (at least a half-dozen), this one was by far my favorite. Righteous Ale is a good beer in its own rite, but as in most things, it seemed a lot better in college.

— Adam Bissen

Beer Directory The Casino 304 Pearl St. Beer list Wittekerke Franziskaner Hacker-Pschorr Weiss Weihenstephan Kristall 16.9 oz Delirium Tremens 750 ml Melange A Trois Reserve 750 ml Pearl Street Pale Ale Paddy Pale Ale Moon Man Crooked Tree Hopslayer Centennial Hop Stoopid 22oz LambickX 750 ml Petrus Aged Pale 750 ml Goudenband 750 ml Smuttynose Farmhouse 22 oz Spotted Cow Prima Pils Golden Pheasant 16.9oz Brew Farm Select Lager Grain Belt Nordeast Lost Lake Light Rhinelander Export-7 oz La Crosse Lager La Crosse Light

Spaten Optimator Huber Bock Doppel Weizen 22oz Downtown Brown Hobgoblin Founder's Porter Cappuccino Stout 22oz Founders Breakfast Stout Matacabras Dark Ale Gouden Carolus 750 ml Achel Trappist Extra 750ml Kasteel Donker 750ml Happy hour: $1 off all beer over $3 $3 off all beer over $6 $6 off all beer over $18 Pearl Street Brewery Tasting Room 1401 St. Andrew St. Beer list D.T.B Pale Ale El Hefe That's What I'm Talkin' 'Bout Stout Rubber Mills Pils Tambois Raspberry Framboise Java Lava Dankenstein Double IPA

Second Supper | The Free Press

June 1, 2012 // 11

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Voting ends July 1 Winners announced August 1

12// June 1, 2012

Second Supper | The Free Press

THE LAST WORD

The ADvice GoDDess

By Amy Alkon amy.alkon@secondsupper.com Attila the Honey

I asked my boyfriend for his email password so I could look at a message he’d mentioned. He grabbed my laptop and said he’d log in and forward it to me. He is a good guy and has never given me reason to distrust him, but if you aren’t hiding anything, why would you care whether your girlfriend can read your e-mail, Facebook messages, whatever? He says he feels that people should have a certain amount of privacy in a relationship and doesn’t believe in sharing his passwords. Really? Not even with the woman he’s been sleeping with for two years?

— Suspicious

Of course, there’s no place for waterboarding or other enhanced interrogation

techniques in a healthy relationship, but after two years of having sex with a guy, you’d think you’d at least be allowed to have a spy drone follow him to the offi ce.

While some women trade sex for dinner, jewelry, and major appliances, all you expect is your boyfriend’s privacy. Privacy — controlling what information about yourself gets shared with others — is a fundamental right. Yet, I’m amazed by the amount of email I get, mainly from women, who think having regular sex with someone entitles them to roll back that person’s privacy to that of a convicted serial killer (save for the fl ashlight-assisted cavity searches).

Like these other ladies, you seem to be confusing dating with rent-to-own. This man is your romantic partner, not your new washing machine. He gets to choose which hopes, dreams, fears, and tasteless jokes he shares with you; you don’t get to harvest his e-mail, his organs, and his every thought.

But, should you somehow bully his password out of him and start mowing through his messages, it’s like putting people on speakerphone without their knowledge. He needs to disclose the possibility of this to everyone with his email address: “When you write me, it’s as if you’ve written everyone I’ve slept with recently.” (Subject line: “I’m whipped.”)

Keep in mind that you aren’t suspicious of him because you found a thong in his trav-

el mug but because you feel entitled to loot his digital life and he refuses to let you. (Why don’t you just put truth serum on his salad?)

A desire for privacy isn’t evidence of sneakiness. People show different sides of themselves to different people, and he’s likely to feel curtailed in who he is and what he writes if Big Girlfriend is always watching: “Um, you spelled ‘trough-licker’ wrong in that misogynistic email to Jeff.” (Suddenly, NSFW — Not Safe For Work — has an alternate meaning: No Sex For Weeks.)

You won’t make a man trustworthy by turning your relationship into a police state.

The time to fi gure out whether somebody’s ethical is before you get into a committed relationship with him. If you can’t trust your boyfriend, why are you with him? If you can, accept that his information is his property, and leave him be when he closes the bathroom door to his mind. Relationships are actually richer when those in them have private lives, when they’re two people who come together to share a lot of things instead of two people who share absolutely everything — down to a single email address: JenniferNJason@WeAreNowOneBigBlob.com.

It’s reigning men

I’m 23, and I realized that I don’t know who I am. I just got out of a two-year relationship with a musician. I totally cleaved to his world — sold

his CDs, promoted the band, started writing songs.

But, it really wasn’t me, and “we” were all about him. Before him, I dated a Rolfer, and my world became all about “body alignment” and Pilates and whatever else he was preaching. I feel like I lose myself in a man and then get nothing back.

— Disappearing

When you’re between boyfriends, it’s got to be hard to know whether to spend the day picketing Wall Street or occupying a dressing room at Abercrombie. What happened, you started your search for self but then your feet got tired? You actually have to go out and answer the question “Who am I?”; you can’t just cheat off whomever you’re sleeping with. Consider doing as a guest on my radio show, therapist Dossie Easton, did.

When she was in her 20s, she decided that she needed to fi nd out who she was when she wasn’t “trying to be somebody’s old lady” and vowed to remain unpartnered (though not celibate) for fi ve years. Maybe you don’t have to stay unpartnered for fi ve years, as Dossie actually did, but you should keep fi shing around for what you’re all about until you bring more to a relationship than a blank slate and a willingness to take notes. (c) 2011, Amy Alkon, all rights reserved.

Got a problem? Write Amy Alkon at AdviceAmy@aol.com (www.advicegoddess.com).

Our next edition of Second Supper | The Free Press publishes July 1. Our advertising deadline is June 25. For information, email roger.bartel@secondsupper.com.

Check out our new bottled beer selection!

Good People, Good Drinks, Good Times

SUNDAY

$5 Pitchers $2 Bottles of Miller Products (11-4 pm) $2 Corona Bottles $2 Kilo Kai Mixers $3 Bloody’s (7-1am)

MONDAY

$1.75 - Miller/Bud Taps $2.25 Micro/Craft Taps $2.50 Cherry Bombs (7-1am)

TUESDAY

$1.75 Rails $1.50 Domestic Taps $3.50 Jager Bombs (7-1am)

SATURDAY

WEDNESDAY

$2 Domestic Bottles $2.50 Skyy/Absolute Mixers $2 Dr. Shots (7-1am)

THURSDAY

5 Domestic Bottles 4 $10 $5 Micro/Import Bottles $11.50, $7 Micro/Craft Pitchers (7-1am)

$5 Miller Lite/Bud Light Pitchers $2.25 Leinies Bottles (7-1am)

FRIDAY

$2 Captain Mixers $2 Long Islands Mixers (7-1am)