Vol. 12, No. 9

WWW.SECONDSUPPER.COM

SEPTEMBER 2012 | VOLUME 12, NO. 9

the free press Willkommen zum Oktoberfest!

A

Digest

of

Coulee

Region

Culture

Gem端tlichkeit!

[Geh-MOOT-lick-kite] Prost!

T H E P L A N N E R [ P. 1 0 ]

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B E E R R E V I E W [ P. 1 4 ]

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T H E A D V I C E G O D D E S S [ P. 1 6 ]

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FIRST THINGS FIRST

Second Supper | The Free Press

Social Networking NAME AND AGE: Rachel Korb, 26

WHAT BOOK ARE YOU CURRENTLY READING? "Acoso"

WHERE WERE YOU BORN? Minnesota

TELL US YOUR GUILTIEST PLEASURE: I can't say I feel guilty about any of them.

CURRENT JOB: UW-L Graduate Assistant DREAM JOB: Study Abroad Program Director/Lecturer

From the fine folks who brought you Kate’s on State and Pizza Amore...Try Kate’s Crunch for lunch, dinner or anywhere in between. Located right downtown across from Howe’s Diamond Jewelers on Main.

Join us for artisan sandwiches, unique 1/2 lb. burgers, fabulous salads and soups, an array of dogs, sliders for any appetite and awesome appetizers.

LAST THING YOU GOOGLED: Rice Kheer

IF A GENIE GRANTED YOU ONE WISH, WHAT WOULD YOU ASK FOR? The power to speak every language in the world.

IF YOU COULD LIVE ANYWHERE IN THE WORLD, WHERE WOULD IT BE? Sevilla, Spain

WHAT ONE PERSON ALIVE OR DEAD WOULD YOU WANT TO HAVE DINNER WITH? Dave Matthews or Maria Carmen

WHAT IS SOMETHING YOU WANT TO DO BEFORE YOU DIE: Learn at least six languages

FIRST CONCERT YOU WENT TO: Dave & Friends

WHAT IS YOUR BEVERAGE OF CHOICE? Kombucha or Chai

WHAT'S THE LAST THING YOU BOUGHT? An Angry Orchard Cider WHAT'S IN YOUR POCKET RIGHT NOW?: Nada.

CELEBRITY CRUSH: Javier Bardem WHAT IS YOUR BIGGEST PET PEEVE? People's using translator in place of interpretor.

We are recently remodeled into a full restaurant and bar; Come and check us out!

Tuesday - Saturday: 11 a.m. – 9 p.m.

Sunday: 12 a.m. – 8 p.m.

We are open for Oktoberfest so make sure to stop in during our extended hours!

SEPTEMBER SPECIALS

TELL US A JOKE: Tume pata hai? Mourgi ka gand!

www.katesonstate.com

— Compiled by Shuggypop Jackson, shuggypop.jackson@secondsupper.com

Back by popular demand.

For those of you missing her, Kate will be back in the kitchen the first and third Fridays of the month. Make your reservations early, we’re sure to be booked.

Voted La Crosse’s best fine dinning.

PBR & Premium Grainbelt bottles – $2.50 Pearl Street Bottles – $3.00

SEPTEMBER LIVE MUSIC SCHEDULE 9/1 Abbey Lane and the Backbone 10-1 a.m.

Join us for Oktoberfest!

9/6 Cheech Live 7–9 p.m.

Pizza By the Slice, Beer

9/8 Bandsaw Brothers 8–11:30 p.m.

and Bloody Marys during

9/15 Altered Vision 8–11:30 p.m.

the parade at Pizza Amore.

9/22 TBA

Voted La Crosse’s

9/29 Enjoy Oktoberfest and stop in and see us!

Best Pizza.

www.katescrunch.com

www.katespizzaamore.com

Second Supper | The Free Press

Sept. 1, 2012 // 3

OKTOBERFEST

the free press 444 Main St., Suite 310 La Crosse, WI 54601 Phone: (608) 782-7001 Online: secondsupper.com Publisher: Roger Bartel roger.bartel@secondsupper.com Editor in Chief: Adam Bissen adam.bissen@secondsupper.com Cover and Ad Design: Jenn Bushman Regular Contributors: Amy Alkon, Erich Boldt, Mary Catanese, Ashly Conrad, Marcel Dunn, Brett Emerson, Shuggypop Jackson, Jonathan Majak, Matt Jones, Nate Willer Second Supper is a monthly alternative newspaper published by Bartanese Enterprises LLC, 444 Main St., Suite 310, La Crosse, WI 54601 LETTERS TO THE EDITOR Send your letters to the editor to Second Supper, 444 Main St., , Suite 310, La Crosse, WI 54601 or by e-mail to editor@secondsupper.com.

Photo by Jacqueline Marcou

Theresa Held will welcome visitors to the annual Oktoberfest celebration later this month.

By Bob Treu

Contributing editor

Fester Days

Fest: words that have the general sense “an assembly of people engaged in a common activity” -- Webster’s Unabridged Dictionary

Let’s say, for the sake of conversation, you came to La Crosse in the late 1960s, fresh from a couple of years teaching in Boston.

Let’s say you’re a Badger by birth and it feels good to be back in Wisconsin in fall. By the end of the third week of classes the nights turn cool, the hills take on color, deep golds and russets, and people wear sweaters. Then something unexpected happens, something you haven’t seen before. Faces take on the absent looks and broad smiles of people who share a secret. They begin to talk about going “festing,” a word you have not heard before, and colleagues warn you not to expect much attendance in your afternoon classes for a while. Then one day you get the call: one of your students, a decent one at that, needs help. He has been arrested trying to steal the golden keg. It’s your introduction to Oktoberfest.

At fi rst the idea of a fest pleases you. It stirs childhood memories of fall fairs where colorful baskets of fruits and vegetables lined the roadways and apple cider scented the air, where prize pigs and cattle were displayed

in public barns, and people celebrated their productivity in casual ritual. In La Crosse the thing is distinctly German. Not only is there a Bavarian meal scheduled, but brats seem to be cooking everywhere, even at McDonalds.

You are soon aware that this is not just another fall affair. People come long distances to fi nd a motel, a place on a friend’s fl oor, or a spot for their tent at a nearby campground, in order to participate in the main event — which turns out to be shoulder-to-shoulder, out-of-control drinking. No surprise for a native Badger.

You have some German background yourself, and like most Americans with that condition, you’ve been pretty much ignoring it. Being German hasn’t been that cool since the Second World War. Still you hope to connect with something “echt Deutsch” at the Fest, something carried across the ocean in a steamer trunk by ancestors, an old tradition kept alive by a century of immigrants, so it’s a little disappointing when you discover Oktoberfest was invented by the La Crosse Chamber of Commerce in 1961 and nurtured by someone named D. J. Petrucelli, pretty much out of whole Lederhosen, as a stimulus program for local businesses.

It works. During this fi rst three dayevent at Copeland Park, two and a half tons of brats are consumed, Juanita Beck plays her calliope, and people participate in a pig chasing competition (planners should

consider reintroducing this event, with participation limited to politicians). By 1963 the event is extended to fi ve days and a south sidesite is added near the Mary E. Sawyer auditorium. The fi rst Oktoberfest button goes on sale for a buck. Brat consumption jumps to four tons, garnished, we are told, by 250 gallons of sauerkraut. In 1964, Louis Armstrong gives a concert and is named honorary festmeister.

But by 1964 the underside of festing has also begun to show itself, and the local police department asks, politely, to have a part in planning the 1965 Fest. They are concerned about the number of juveniles hanging around the tents to cadge beer from their elders. Then, in 1966, all that gemutlichkeit turns into a riot. One-hundred eighty one people are arrested for a variety of misdemeanors. That’s when the Common Council passes an ordinance banning public consumption, which is supposed to keep drinking in the bars and tents and off the streets.

That is followed by banning beer completely at the fest grounds in 1967. That lasts one year.

By the middle seventies most of the people you know avoid the Fest, and you suspect they are a little snobbish. But then your wife, who likes to make short trips in the early fall, begins to resent your friends

CONTINUED ON PAGE 4

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4// Sept. 1, 2012

OKTOBERFEST

How to do Oktoberfest

What’s the best part of La Crosse in the fall? The changing color of the leaves? The cool breeze blowing off the Mississippi? The Packers on the big screen at Glory Days? Students returning to campus? The possibility that election season might actually end in La Crosse? Nope, it’s Oktoberfest. And here at Second Supper it’s our job to give you the rundown of a few of our favorite, can’t-miss events so you can plan your festivities accordingly. So raise your steins, don your dirndls and join us out here for the best party of the year.

1. Tapping of The Golden Keg — Sept. 28, 11 a.m.

This annual event kicks off the fest, and is truly one of the best moments of the entire festival. The keg itself gets a royal ride down Second Street, followed by a host of Festmasters, Parade Marshals and various other festers. Lots of other festers. The tapping is important because it really is the true symbol of the festival. La Crosse’s Oktoberfest was basically started by a brewery over 50 years ago as a way to promote and celebrate beer, and it is possible to celebrate this timeless libation without acting like a total degenerate.

Seriously. Don’t be that guy.

2. Brats — Throughout You cannot talk about Oktoberfest without talking about bratwursts. These sausages serve two vital functions at the fest. First and foremost they quell even the largest of appetites (we once heard about this guy eating seven in one sitting), and they give the nonbeer-drinkers something to look forward to.

No matter where you are at the fest, you are bound to find at least one person munching on a delicious german bratwurst smothered in sauerkraut and spicy mustard. That could be you.

3. The Torchlight Parade — Oct. 4, 7 p.m.

A casual, shorter, more fun version of the original parade? You don’t say. You certainly cannot go wrong with an evening parade full of glow sticks, Sousaphones covered in christmas lights and the usual rabble that comes with a parade. A majority of the acts are repeats from the Maple Leaf, but they are not forced to walk over three miles and put up with drunken shenanigans. If you Torchlight when everyone else Maple Leafs, you’re going to have a good time.

4. Traditional German Clothing — Throughout You know it’s the time for Oktoberfest when the Lederhosen and Dirndls get broken out, and we’re glad to see them year every year.

Is there better way to celebrate Oktoberfest than by donning your favorite (usually tightfitting) German garb? No, there isn’t.

5. The Music — Throughout Whether it’s doing the polka in the street during the parades or catching the Shoeless Revolution show on the fest’s second weekend, Oktoberfest never fails to bring in some solid music like Brat Pack Radio, T.U.G.G., Moon Boot Posse, the Dewbs, and so many more. And when the lights go down at the fest grounds, downtown clubs host bands for the biggest party of the year.

6. The Maple Leaf Parade — Sept. 29, 10 a.m.

The Grandaddy of Wisconsin fest parades, the Maple Leaf Parade lives up to most of the hype. It’s a booze-soaked all-day affair. Even if you didn’t intend for it to be that, it usually ends up that way. But if you’ve never been, it is worth a trip. Our advice is to either get a spot early (midnight should suffice — seriously) or plan to wander the route in search of people you know. And trust us, you will see them. The floats are what’d you expect at a parade, but there are about triple the number you’d see anywhere else. If you’ve seen this parade before, things don’t change much from one year to the next, so our advice for post-parade shenanigans is to rest up and save your energy for the Brat Pack Radio’s set on Saturday night.

7. The Rest of the Fest This festival isn’t just about Beer, Brats, Parades, Music and Fancy Clothes. It’s about celebrating fall, German heritage and the annual harvest. There is really something for everyone at the great La Crosse get together. Kids day at the fest, rides for the kids and teens, dance competitions, heritage festivals, Laff Olympics, scavenger hunts, photo contests, races (Big Muddy and Maple Leaf Run), Cornhole Tournament. You won’t be disappointed you did any of these things on our list, but take a walk around the festgrounds and you will find so much more. Let the good times roll. Gemütlichkeit!

FESTER CONTINUED FROM PAGE 3 from Madison and Chicago who seem to think you are running a bed and breakfast for festers and that you wouldn’t dream of festing without them. She resents even more having to step over unconscious people and having to avoid pools of imperfectly identified effluents. About that time people begin to wear raincoats to the beer tents, even in fine weather.

After their half-hearted attempt to ban beer at the Fest, the city tries another strategy. In 1971 they create the current Fest Grounds near Riverside Park, including replicas of half-timbered German buildings.

The Northside site, in Copeland Park, becomes something more like a carnival, with rides and games. People bring their children to Copeland, which substantially diminishes the rowdy behavior.

Little by little you grow the notion that the La Crosse event is an example of American excess, having little connection to the Ur-fest in Munich, after which it is supposedly styled. Then you remember reading Thomas Wolfe’s The Web and the Rock, which ends with Monk, his main character, going to Munich. So you find a copy in the library, only to discover the Fests in Munich and La Crosse operate on pretty much the same cultural level: mindless eating and drinking with occasional short interludes of lucidity. Wolfe’s novel was published in the 1930s, and there’s something frightening about Monk linking arms with Germans he doesn’t know and somehow fusing with them into a single uberfester. This not your sort of thing, although you may have come close years ago while singing Varsity with a group of drunken louts in a Madison pub.

Your visits to the fest diminish over the years as you become absorbed in parenting, and your participation is limited to the 100 mile bike rally and taking the kids to the Maple Leaf Parade.

Somewhere along the line you actually spend a semester teaching in Germany, where you find yourself one evening reminiscing with three young men who have studied in La Crosse. They recall being asked to march in the Oktoberfest parade, which seems like a good idea until they are told they would carry the German flag and sing the national anthem. But nein, after the Nazi experience most young Germans have developed an allergy to that sort of patriotic display. Two of them finally agree to march without the flag and sing a German song.

Nobody seems to notice it is the team song of the Cologne soccer club.

All along Oktoberfest has tried balance the more respectable aspects of the fall festival with epic partying. At times the one seems a pretty thin cover for the other. For example, there is the year your friends persuade you, against your better judgment, to take them to the topless place they’ve heard about, an institution with no real connection to Oktoberfest. Reluctantly you agree and find yourself at a table in the Yum Yum

Second Supper | The Free Press Tree watching a young woman dance. When she finishes her set she drapes a shawl casually around her shoulders, comes over to your table, pulls up a chair next to you, leans over and asks, “Can I talk to you about my incomplete?” She wears glasses and her hair up when she comes to class, not to mention clothes, so you haven’t recognized her.

Is it wrong to be emphasizing the orgiastic, more than the other, more cultural activities? Hardly. But it is only fair, if not obligatory, to point to the sheer variety of events included in the Oktoberfest experience. The cuisine is not confined to brats wallowing in kraut. There are several special sit-down dining events, including one featuring pesto alfredo (a legendary dish from the kitchen of Herr Petrucelli, perhaps). There are rides and games at the Northside grounds, lots of music at both sites, and, for the athletic, the half-marathon. Unfortunately the hundred mile bike ride has been eliminated.

And of course there are parades. The Maple Leaf Parade is the heart of the Fest for many people, and some important memories are connected with it. Early in your life in La Crosse, while the war in Vietnam still rages, you help transform a Volkswagen Bug into a peace dove. You are given the task of driving it in the Maple Leaf parade, with visibility limited to whatever the six inch aperture the decorators left on the windshield allows. Much later your oldest daughter comes back to La Crosse for the Fest. The parents of one of her friends owns a business with a parking lot along the Maple Leaf route, and they invite you watch the parade with them.

There are campers, grills, and plenty of kegs, and the weather is gorgeous. It’s a three hour parade party.

So you are distressed to learn in March of this year that the boss festers have cancelled the parades. The fest loses money and they are not prepared to pay the city’s demand of $18,000, the cost of keeping things orderly and taking care of the mess. But in the end gemutlichkeit prevails and the city settles for $10,000. The parades will go on.

Also, the fest has a new corporate sponsor who modestly declines to attach its name to the event (and I oblige by not mentioning it here). There remains the possibility, however, that future Fests will follow the example of the sporting world, and we will have Fests named after pet toys, taco chips, or credit cards.

Monk, in The Web and the Rock, begins his visit to the Munich festgrounds in a mood of deep contempt for the music, the sounds, and the apparently mindless crowd.

Little by little he is taken in by the overriding spirit of the thing: “The fumes of the powerful and heady beer, and, more than that, the fumes of fellowship and of affection, of friendship and human warmth, had mounted to their brains and hearts. They knew it was a rare and precious thing, a moment’s spell of wonder and of joy, that it must end, and they were loath to see it go.” What matter that Monk wakes up in a hospital next day, his cranium having been cracked by a beer stein? In La Crosse we know enough to use plastic cups.

ON THE COVER: From left, Theresa Held, Ashley Przedwiecki, Amber Crary. Photo by Jacqueline Marcou

Second Supper | The Free Press

OKTOBERFEST

Sept. 1, 2012 // 5

6// Sept. 1, 2012

Speak Your Mind

THE BLUFF with Jacqueline Marcou

Last week, VH1 greenlighted a reality show about La Crosse's own Grand River Singers. What else would make a good La Crosse reality show?

Once again, we're posing a few questions that have no answers

By Tim Ryan Special to Second Supper

Name: Amy Fellenz Age: 25 Occupation: Waitress A. "Bronson From Wisconsin: The Weekend Warrior Hot Dog Vendor"

Name: Justin Balridge Age: 32 Occupation: Cat Whisperer A. "Profiles of Young Bar Owners"

Name: Joseph Doperalski Age: 31 Occupation: Consultant at Bluewolf A. "Coulee Region River Rats Noodlers"

Name: Krista Hamilton Age: 36 Occupation: Entomologist A. "Talking Trash With Mayor Matt" and "The Real Barge Pilots of the Mississippi"

Name: Dennis Marcou Age: 60 Occupation: Attorney/Judge A. "La Crosse Party Patrol: Cops vs Underagers"

Name: Jason Augenstein Age: 36 Occupation: Registered Nurse A. "Wasteland: How Mayor Harter manages to find balance between mayoral duties and youth and power"

Second Supper | The Free Press

It’s time for another rhetorical edition of “Just Asking,” the occasional feature in which we pose a few pressing questions that have no answers, but need to be asked anyway.

First up, why does the cashier at the grocery store check-out always ask whether you want paper or plastic when the bagger is only going to ask you the same question about 20 seconds later?

Just asking.

Next question: Can we give up on that whole moon-landing hoax thing now?

For decades there has been a fringe group of people insisting we never really went to the moon. But recent photos of the moon taken by NASA’s Lunar Reconnaissance Orbiter Camera show that the American flags planted there by each of the various Apollo missions are still standing and casting shadows that change during different points of the day.

Of course, this won’t be enough to change the minds of conspiracy theorists because no proof can ever be enough. Just like Obama’s long-form birth certificate didn’t satisfy those people. There will always be those who love to engage in wild conspiracy theories and will never accept that the moon landings really happened.

Of course we went to the moon. Because that’s where they buried Obama’s real birth certificate.

As long as we’re on the subject of conspiracy theories: Was “The Dark Knight Rises” really a political allegory, and if so, was it left-wing or right-wing?

Some, like Rush Limbaugh, believe the movie was a veiled attack on Mitt Romney because the villain’s name was Bane (as in Bain Capital). Others believe Bane and his minions represented Occupy Wall Street and Bruce Wayne a.k.a. Batman was the OnePercenter who foiled their Socialist agenda.

Personally, I lean to the second theory, with Batman standing in for Mitt Romney.

Because, like Batman, we don’t get to see Mitt Romney’s real face either.

Next question — Is it time to get rid of English and come up with some new kind of language?

I know there are some quarters pushing for English only as our official language, but I say we should be pushing for anything but English. I don’t care if it’s pig Latin or primordial grunting.

Maybe the Smurfs had it right all along and we should just use the word Smurf for everything. That way we wouldn’t be debating whether people who don’t buy health insurance under the Affordable Care Act are going to be hit with a Smurf or a Smurf. I’m sorry, I meant a tax or a penalty.

You see, this debate should be easy to resolve. Because it used to be, you looked at

what something looks like or what it does or how it works and that would tend to answer the question. You know, if it walks like a duck and it quacks like a duck, then clearly it’s a noisy feathered poultry of some kind.

President Obama insists it’s a penalty, not a tax, even though the Supreme Court only managed to save the law by calling it a tax and not a penalty. Meanwhile, Mitt Romney called it a penalty when he passed essentially the same law in Massachusetts, but is calling it a tax now so that he can criticize Obama.

Actually, Obama and the Supreme Court are both right — and Mitt Romney are both right.

To borrow a line from a classic Saturday Night Live sketch: “It’s a floor wax AND a dessert topping!”

The media, particularly cable news — which stopped serving the cause of public information years ago in favor of ratings — could easily settle this by explaining what the damn thing does instead of bringing on talking heads from both sides of the argument to just rant about how it’s one thing or the other.

All they would need to do is explain the following: Under the new law, if you choose not to have health insurance, you will have to pay some extra money to the IRS. It is, by definition, a penalty in the form of a tax.

That particular penalty in the form of a tax will be paid only by you, not all taxpayers, as opponents of the law would like you to believe.

Of course, maybe we don’t need to get rid of the entire English language. Maybe we could just get rid of the loaded, emotionally charged, dog-whistle words that are holding us back from getting anywhere.

That would include words like Republican and Democrat. Maybe throwing out these outdated labels would allow our lawmakers to make decisions based on what’s best for the country instead of their party.

And as long as we’re on the subject of renaming things, here’s another word we should get rid of: Marijuana.

Maybe if it was called Prozac or something we wouldn’t be so uptight about making it available in prescription form; something more and more public officials are coming out in favor of, by the way.

You have to ask yourself whether it’s really worse than some of the prescription drugs already on the market. You’ve seen the TV ads and the long list of possible side effects from various “medication” you can legally buy, like anemia, heart attack, high blood pressure, stroke, seizures, intestinal bleeding, suicidal thoughts and “in some rare cases” death. “Remember, if you experience death as a result of using this product, call your doctor immediately.”

The side effects of marijuana? A possi-

CONTINUED ON PAGE 8

Second Supper | The Free Press

Sept. 1, 2012 // 7

8// Sept. 1, 2012

Second Supper | The Free Press

PROPER POKES Body Piercing & Jewelry

JUST ASKING CONTINUED FROM PAGE 6 ble risk of obesity from stuffi ng yourself with Oreos when you get the munchies.

Actually, we should scrap the entire phrase “War on Drugs” and replace it with a word that truly describes what it really is. A subsidy.

That’s right, the War on Drugs is, for all practical purposes, just a taxpayer subsidy for the Mexican Drug Cartel. Because the money we’re spending to keep marijuana illegal is only serving to boost their profi ts.

Just like prohibition back in the ’30s was nothing more than a subsidy for Al Capone and the mobs. We’re keeping them in busi-

ness.

OK, last question, which requires a little background before we ask it.

A viral video recently posted by the conservative website Patriot Update features an Obama-bashing 6-year-old with a toy gun outlining his 10 reasons why you shouldn’t re-elect the president. The child’s recitation of the standard conservative talking points and conspiracy theories (i.e. Obama wants to take your guns away and put you on food stamps and nobody knows what country he’s really from) is being heralded in some quarters as a work of genius.

So my question to those who agree is this: What do you think it says about your political views that they can be so succinctly summed up by a 6-year-old?

Just asking.

318 Main St. La Crosse, WI Red Cross needs volunteers Inside the Lynne Tower (608)782-7879 Facebook.com/properpokes

Drive Away Altra Federal Credit Union recognizes the need in our community and would like to help.

That’s why we’re offering a limited-time Drive Away Hunger Loan Sale.

The American Red Cross Western Wisconsin Region will hold an annual 9-11 Day of Service and Remembrance Event from 9 a.m. to noon Sept. 15 in La Crosse.

The event will consist of volunteers canvassing throughout neighborhoods and informing residents about fi re safety and precautions.

Volunteers are needed to canvass the

neighborhoods with American Red Cross.

Volunteers will meet at the Scenic Bluff chapter’s headquarters at 2927 Losey Blvd.S. for instructions on canvassing and to pick up canvassing materials.

To volunteer, please contact chairs Kelli Mades (kelli_mades@yahoo.com) or Cassandra Buehler (Cassandra_slagle@yahoo. com).

HUNGER Auto Loan rates as low as

1.89% 1.89 % APR

For every car, truck, and motorcycle loan financed at Altra from Sept. 1 - Oct. 31, Altra will donate $10 to the Hunger Task Force, which serves over 61 area meal sites and food pantries in our region.

If you match Altra’s $10 donation to the Hunger Task Force, you’ll get an additional rate discount of .10%!

• 4 bags of groceries to a local food pantry • The meat needed to feed 80 people at a local free meal site • 2 weeks of food assistance to a local teen center for at-risk youth **Based on an average food bank purchase price of $.18/lb.

La Crosse • Festival Foods • Onalaska • Holmen La Crescent • Winona

608-787-4500 • www.altra.org

*Rates as low as 1.89% APR includes BEST RATE Discount, + Altra’s Visa Platinum Credit Card discount. Rates available starting 09/01/12 thru 10/31/12 to qualified members on new or used auto/truck purchase or refinance from another financial institution. Leases do not qualify for refinancing. Rates based on other account relationships at Altra, personal credit history, payment method, and vehicle information. Promotional rates apply to loans new to Altra; rates subject to change. Loan terms available up to 78 months; term based on age of vehicle. Contact Altra for complete details. Limited time offer. Federally insured by NCUA.

Second Supper | The Free Press

Sept. 1, 2012 // 9

SHOP SMALL

SHOP LOCAL

The following area businesses, all winners in the 2012 Best of La Crosse contest, extend a warm welcome to our Oktoberfest visitors. Please support these small businesses, which are committed to the community and its guests.

La Crosse’s Home of Live Music

Best Pizza in La Crosse 212 Main Street | Downtown La Crosse (608) 78 AMORE [608-782-6673] www.katespizzaamore.com

308 4th Street (608) 782-9069

After 40 years downtown, thank you for voting us La Crosse’s favorite home of live music -- and runner up for best open jam

Best Fine Dining 1810 State St | La Crosse, WI 54601 (608) 784-3354 www.katesonstate.com

THANK YOU FOR VOTING US BEST ART PLACE!

To show our appreciation, we’re going to provide you with more great music!

Thank you for voting Bodega La Crosse's best beer selection.

Special congratulations to Alicia Stoltz, runner up, La Crosse's favorite bartender.

Thank you for voting Bodega La Crosse's best beer selection.

Tue. 7/31:

Evergreen Grass Band

Fri. 8/3:

The Greatest Story Ever Told

Fri. 8/10:

Porcupine

Sat. 8/11:

Moon Boot Posse

Test your wits at Adam Bissen's trivia. Every Thursday night at 8 p.m.

The 7 wonders of your world Voted Best Cocktail Bar Best Jukebox Favorite Bartender–Jason LaCourse

114 5th Ave N | La Crosse, WI 54601-3309 | (608) 782-2111

Special congratulations to Alicia Stoltz, runnerBodega up, Thank you for voting Thank you for voting Bodega La Crosse's favorite bartender.

La Crosse's best beer selection.

La Crosse's best beer selection.

To help bring balance to your life, go to BalanceYour7.com every day!

Special congratulations to Alicia Stoltz, runner up, Special w w w .Lad uCrosse's bcongratulations l i n sfavorite q u a rbartender. e p u b . c o mto Alicia Stoltz, runner up, La Crosse's favorite Stop inbartender. today and

see why we were voted BEST BURGER IN LA CROSSE

La Crosse’s most decorated establishment!

-Runner Up Favorite International Cuisine-Runner Up Best Outdoor Dining-Runner Up Best Bloody Mary(visit our Bloody Mary bar on Sunday!)

-3rd Place for Favorite Bartender - Amy Fellenz103 N. 3rd Street, La Crosse, WI 54601

THANK YOU FOR VOTING LINDY'S Best Sandwich & Wrap Selection 3 years in a row!

FRESH, DELICIOUS & CONVENIENT Free Deliver & Online Ordering! lindyssubsandsalads.com Best Wings | Finalist

FOLLOW US ON you, FACEBOOK! Thank voters, for selecting

Best Wings | Finalist

Freighthouse Restaurant www.facebook.com/politospizza

WINNER: BEST STEAK

8/31/11 221 Main St. (Downtown)

All the wings you can eat @ $.50 each All the wings you can eat @ $.50 each Wednesday Nights Wednesday Nights

Best Wings | Finalist 716 2nd Ave. N., Onalaska

716 2nd Ave. N., Onalaska 608.781.6800

608.781.6800

Open at 6 a.m. daily, seven days a week.

304 Sand Lake Rd.

Finalist: Best Fine Dining FOLLOW US ON FACEBOOK! Finalist: Best Bartender www.facebook.com/politospizza FOLLOW US ON FACEBOOK! Mark Wuensch

www.facebook.com/politospizza And to our employees and customers…who are truly the BEST!

Thank you La Crosse for letting us Rock You for 34 years !

T h e Fr e i gh th o u se Re sta u r a n t | 1 0 7 Vi n e S t. | D ow n tow n L a C r o sse w w w. f r e i gh th o u se r e sta u r a n t. c o m

10// Sept. 1, 2012

Second Supper | The Free Press

THE PLANNER

September

music | entertainment | theater | fine arts festivals | things to do | oktoberfest | beer

The Month in Preview Sun., Sept. 2 T..U.G.G. ON YOUR LEI @ Huck Finn’s Time to pull out your Hawaiian shirts, leis, dance moves, and perhaps your grass skirts.

As summer winds down, so to is the “Reggae on the River” concert series at Huck Finn’s on French Island. Sept. 2 will be your last chance this summer to catch La Crosse’s reggae-rock superstars T.U.G.G., playing on the Black River.

And what better way to celebrate laziness this Labor Day weekend than by swaying to reggae at the band’s 2nd annual Labor Day Luau? As a bonus, southern California’s own Mike Pinto Band will also be jamming. Plus the show is free of charge, and all ages are welcome. The music starts at 7 p.m. and goes until 10 p.m., so make sure you swing out for one last easy groove.

Fri./Sat., Sept. 7-8 HEAR A TALE La Crosse Storytelling Festival @ Myrick Park Friends, Sconnies, La Crosse-ians, lend me your ears. Next weekend, Myrick Park is the place to catch the 8th annual La

brats | fall colors | recreation | prost |

Crosse Storytelling Festival. With over 30 events scheduled throughout the weekend, the festival features entertainment for all ages.

Children and families will enjoy music and stories from Michael Reno Harrell, Kristia Wildflower, and Hans Mayer (just to name a few), while adult entertainment comes after dark during the Saturday Evening Adult Cabaret. Boasting the title of Wisconsin’s only storytelling festival, LCSF is a great kick off for fall.

Sun., Sept. 9 STRIKE A POSE! DMI Fashion Show @ the Waterfront Do you like beautiful people in beautiful clothes in beautiful downtown La Crosse? The come to Downtown Mainstreet Inc. Second Fall Fashion Show fundraiser at the Cargill Room at the Waterfront. Local vendors and retailers will display new fall fashions from 6 p.m. – 9 p.m., while guests enjoy champagne and other goodies. This exclusive social event offers both general admission and VIP access to fundraise for future local downtown gatherings. Along with a red carpet entrance,

guests will enjoy a cocktail hour and locally sponsored raffle prizes.

Fri., Sept. 14 EAR MUFFS! @ the La Crosse Center Want to laugh harder than you have in a long while?

Consider coming

down to the La Crosse Center on Sept.14 for big-name comedian Ron White. “Tater Salad” is coming to deliver his new stand-up show, “The Moral Compass.” White is best known as the cigar smoking, scotch drinking funnyman from the Blue Collar Comedy phenomenon. The 8 p.m. show is bound to be offensively funny, so it’s for mature audiences only. Tickets are $38.75 and $48.75 and can be purchased at the La Crosse Center box office or Ticketmaster outlets.

Sat., Sept. 22 GET BENT Yoga @ the Eco Park Looking for a fun, healthy activity for a crisp Saturday morning this fall? Look no further than the Myrick-Hixon EcoPark, which will be hosting Yoga in the EcoPark on Sept. 22 at 10:30 am, presented by Tammy Z’s Yoga Studio. There is no better way to enjoy La Crosse’s natural beauty than having fun and staying fit surrounded by the scenic EcoPark.

This event is open to the public and requires no preregistration – the fee is $10 for adults and $5 for students and seniors, with all proceeds going to benefit the further enhancement of the EcoPark. Don’t forget to bring your yoga mat!

Second Supper | The Free Press

ARTS

Sept. 1, 2012 // 11

The Month in Theatre and laugh your pants off.

By Kallie Schell Special to Second Supper

In other news:

As fall quickly replaces summer, we will begin seeing a whole new lineup of plays in the La Crosse area. One of the most highly anticipated shows of September is "Pirates of Penzance," being put on by the La Crosse Community Theater. Originally written by W. S. Gilbert and Arthur Sullivan, this comic opera will be running from Sept. 7-23 and promises to keep people laughing the whole time.

Imagine a crew of comic English pirates during the 1800s. One of their apprentices, Frederic, is celebrating his 21st birthday.

Now, as a side note, this brought to mind how riotous 21st birthdays currently are and made me chuckle, so I can’t even fathom how a rowdy group of pirates would celebrate.

Anyways, back to the pirates, so they’re enjoying festivities. The birthday boy is released from his apprenticeship and, following his release, decides he wants to destroy the pirate crew because he loathes what they do.

Also following his release he meets Mabel. She is the daughter of the MajorGeneral, and the young pirate falls madly in love with her. The Major-General argues with Frederic about marrying Mabel because he has an aversion to his daughters marrying pirates.

As Frederic is no longer a pirate, though, it seems he could marry Mabel.

However, the pirates return and claim that he cannot leave the gang because his birthday falls on a leap year, so he has served only five birthdays not the required 21 birthdays.

How the story ends is a surprise that you must go see for yourself. Tickets are reasonably priced: Fridays and Saturdays $23; Thursdays and Sundays $21.

"Pirates of Penzance" will be one of the few comedies running this year, at the La Crosse Community Theater, so get out there

The Top

Oktoberfest fouls 1. Mike’s Hard Lemonade 2. Booing children 3. Passing out when it’s still light 4. Fighting 5. Littering 6. "Hold the kraut" 7. Staying in your dorm and studying

• Auditions for "Bus Stop" start Tuesday, Sept. 11, at the La Crosse Community Theater, 118 5th Ave. N. Auditions at 7 p.m.

• Interested in gender, gender expression and power in our culture? Then you’ll be interested in the performance project, "Fulcrum: An Interrogation of Power," presented at 3:30 p.m. and 6 p.m. on Friday, Sept. 21, in the Frederick Theatre in Morris Hall on the UW-La Crosse campus. The 40-minute theatre piece raises questions about how gender, age and status affect power. It presents scenes from several wellknown plays in non-traditional ways, such as cross-gender casting, in order to illuminate how we express and respond to those differences. All performances are free of charge (donations for theatre scholarships accepted at the door), and will be followed by a conversation with the audience.

• The University of Wisconsin-La Crosse Department of Theatre Arts presents the high-energy musical "Footloose," which tells a story of a free-spirited kid who reminds a local community that it’s no sin to be young. "Footloose" performances will take place in Toland Theatre on Saturday, Sept. 8 at 7:30 p.m. and Sunday, Sept. 9, at 2 p.m. Proceeds from the Footloose encore presentation will go to support theatre student scholarships at UW-La Crosse.

• With a brand new comedy show mined from a year of news stories, incredible imagination and political foibles (often one and the same), sketch comedy group Heart of La Crosse unveils their new massive laugh-generating production, "Take a Walker on the Wild Side, or, I Can't Barrett Another Minute."Opening night sold out weeks ago. Fortunately, there are still tickets available ($21 adv/$24 day of) for the following performances: Sept. 7, Sept. 8, Sept.

16, Sept. 17, Sept. 18, Sept. 23, Sept. 24 and Sept. 25.

Green Bay Packer team goals 1. 19-0 2. Make Jay Cutler cry 3. Have Lil' Wayne record another theme song 4. Average 87 points per game 5. Win one for the boys at Glory Days 6. Beat Facebook with team stock IPO 7. Find Lambeau Leap Amy

HELP WANTED: ADVERTISING SALES Second Supper needs sales help. Pay is commission, based on sales.

Email roger.bartel@secondsupper.com

12// Sept. 1, 2012

Second Supper | The Free Press

MUSIC

Holiday fun abounds downtown The new sound of Labor Day is free, fun, and bike-powered

By Kevin Sommerfeld Special to Second Supper

It’s not all too pleasant to think about, but summer is coming to an end. Discussions about the upcoming Labor Day weekend serve as subtle reminders of the season’s eventual demise, but this is also an opportunity to fully enjoy a few of the remaining summer days. So the question then is this: how should you spend them?

Of course you might have a family get together to attend, and it may be best that you don’t skip it, but a certain event heads La Crosse’s 2012 Labor Day weekend might make you consider doing so. And not just this weekend, but for years to come.

Sept. 1 and 2 mark La Crosse’s first year of the Downtown Sound Music Festival, an event that promises to be something like a mini SXSW. It kicks off on Saturday night and will include an array of musical events to attend at various venues around downtown.

The music continues in the street all day Sunday, then returns to the bars at night.

The free music festival is part of La Crosse’s 2nd Annual Labor Day Weekend Bicycle Festival. Dane Gonzales, a festival organizer and owner of the Root Note, said Downtown Sound is made possible through a large collaborative effort,

“Businesses and people are coming together to put on a cool event for the city,” Gonzales said. He mentioned that one goal of Downtown Sound is to make live music a bigger aspect of the Labor Day festival. The main goal, of course, is to get people together.

The big draw of Downtown Sound takes place on Sunday, Sept. 2. The 300 block of Pearl Street will be blocked off to traffic in order to host a huge street party which will include a continuous flow of free music on a stage that’s powered mostly — and sometimes entirely — by volunteer bicycle riders.

This means you can participate in powering the stage, and be in the front row while you’re at it.

Also, microbreweries from around the area will be sponsoring nearby bars where their beer will be on tap all day.

Contributed Photo

Roster McCabe will perform at The Popcorn Tavern as part of the Downtown Sound Music Festival.

Sunday’s events begin in the morning with live sand sculpture and 3D sidewalk painting put on by the Arts Initiative. There will be yoga in the streets at 11a.m., followed

by Drums for Peace at 12:30. The Cheez Land Uke Band will also be making an appearance.

The music starts at two in the afternoon and goes on nonstop until 9:30 at night. Five bands are on the roster: The Feelin’ starts the music at 2 p.m., Chastity Brown plays at 3:30, Natty Nation is at 5, Crankshaft at 6:30, and Roster McCabe at 8. The styles of these performances cover the spectrum of soul, blues, country, rock, and reggae. Reminder: all this music is good, free, and the stage is human-powered.

After the music stops in the streets, the

party continues into the clubs, so if you can’t make it to the daytime performances, you can still see the bands play at night. Chastity Brown will perform at Bodega at 9, Natty Nation at Root Note at 10, and Roster McCabe will be at The Popcorn Tavern at midnight.

Saturday’s acts as a prelude to Sunday’s big event. Three-time Grammy winning singer/songwriter Bill Miller will be performing at the Pump House. Tickets are $15, and the show starts at 7:30. If you can’t front the 15 bucks to see Bill, go see Winona’s own blues musician Mike Munson for free at The Cavalier Lounge, whose show starts at 8. Later, the smooth and soulful band, The Feelin’, will be playing at The Popcorn Tavern. Show starts at 10 and there is no cover charge if you have a handy dandy VIP wristband.

Wristbands can be bought for $10 and include many perks, including no cover charges at bars, discounts on beer from visiting breweries, participation in VIP beertasting at brewery sponsored bars on Sunday night, as well as many other deals at other local businesses.

Gonzales pointed out that a wristband purchase buys more than just these perks, “It’s a sign of support and a way to contribute to things like this happening in La Crosse.”

Wristbands are on sale at the following establishments: The Root Note, The Pump House, Three Rivers Outdoors, The Casino, and Downtown Mainstreet, Inc. All proceeds go to support the festival, an event that will hopefully liven La Crosse’s Labor Day weekend for years to come.

Art Mixer helps unveil new exhibitions at Pump House

The Pump House will hold an Art Mixer from 5-7 p.m.

Saturday, Sept.15, to celebrate three new exhibitions:

• Lisa Ulik's "Within/Without"

• Kim Radatz's "Skins--Inside/Out"

• La Crosse County 4-H's "Inspiring Imagination"

"Within/Without," in the Kader Gallery, Within/Without explores and questions how we live in proximity to others. The exhibition is a collection of cell-

phone landscapes, Googled images and interviews with community members translated into drawings, prints, video installation and sound.

In "Skins--Inside/Out," in the Front Gallery, Radatz makes a variety of forms, such as a dress or an envelope, to express human experiences. Her work is a study of perception, and the stories that are left behind long after a moment has passed.

"Inspiring Imagination" by 4-H artists, in the Balcony Gallery, shows the creativity and talent of some local younger artists. Come and be inspired by incredible artwork from developing artists in La Crosse County 4-H.The Pump House Regional Arts Center, 119 King St., is open 11 a.m. to 7 p.m. Tuesday through Friday and 12-4 p.m. Saturday. For information, call 608-785-1434 or email contact@ thepumphouse.org.

Second Supper | The Free Press

MUSic Directory FEATURED SHOWS Saturday – 9/1 Crunch – Abbey Lane and the Backbone (rock) • 10 p.m.

Cavalier – Mike Munson (blues) • 8 p.m.

JB’s – Bandsaw Brothers (jam rock) • 10 p.m.

Pump House – Bill Miller (popular songwriter) • 7:30 p.m.

Popcorn – The Feelin’ Band (world pop) • 10 p.m.

Sunday – 9/2 Pearl Street – Roster McCabe, Natty Nation, Crankshaft, Chastity Brown, and The Feelin Band (Downtown Sound Music Festival ) • 2 p.m.

Huck Finn’s – T.U.G.G. (alt-reggae) • 7 p.m.

Root Note – Natty Nation (roots reggae) • 8 p.m.

Monday – 9/3 Warehouse – Phinehas (hard rock) • 7 p.m.

Wednesday – 9/5 Del’s – The Wrong Omar • 10 p.m.

Root Note – Angie Atkinson w/ Kelly Fragale • 8 p.m.

Thursday – 9/6 Crunch – Cheech (acoustic blues) • 7 p.m.

Del’s – Acoustic Vision Friday – 9/7 On The Rocks – Circle of Heat (rock) • 9:30 p.m.

Cavalier – Jason's Birthday Bash • 8 p.m.

Saturday – 9/8 Crunch – Bandsaw Brothers (jam rock) • 8 p.m.

Pettibone Boat Club – Smokin’ Bandits (jamgrass) • 5 p.m.

Root Note – Houses in Motion (Talking Heads tribute) • 10 p.m.

Southside Festgrounds – Pop Evil, Royal Bliss, Monkey Wrench (hard rock) • 5 p.m.

Sunday – 9/9 Root Note – Memphibians • 8 p.m.

Wednesday – 9/12 Del’s – Colin Marshal Thursday – 9/13 Del’s – Simple Rogues (pub rock) • 10 p.m.

Cavalier – Andy Hughes • 8 p.m.

Cavalier – Another Exoneration • 11 p.m.

Saturday – 9/15 Warehouse – King Conquer • 7 p.m.

Cavalier – Click Track CD release w/ 123 Walrus • 9 p.m.

Sunday – 9/16 Warehouse – Your Memorial • 7p.m.

Wednesday – 9/19 Del’s – Stereofidelics (power duo) • 10 p.m.

Warehouse – The Browning • 7 p.m.

Thursday – 9/20

Sept. 1, 2012 // 13

MUSIC Del’s – Andy Hughes (of T.U.G.G. fame) • 10 p.m.

Cavalier – Brandon and Lars • 11p.m.

1200 11th St. S. | La Crosse, WI 54601

Friday – 9/21 Muse Theatre – tribute to Lynryrd Skynyrd • 7:30 p.m.

Root Note – Ben Metzger • 8 p.m.

Saturday – 9/22 Cavalier – Mixgenre Mixtape, I Am Daniel, Jacob Grippen • 11 p.m.

Monday – 9/24 Root Note – Smooth Money Gesture (jam rock) • 8 p.m.

Wednesday – 9/26 Del’s – Bandsaw Brothers (jam rock) • 10 p.m.

Root Note – Angie Atkinson w/ Kelly Fragale • 8 p.m.

Thursday – 9/27 Del’s – Cheech and Friends Cavalier – Frankie Salvaggio & Baron • 8 p.m.

Friday – 9/28 Popcorn – Nimbus (psychedelic rock) • 10 p.m.

Southside Festgrounds – Moon Boot Posse, the Remainders, Monkey Wrench (Oktoberfest) Saturday – 9/29 Root Note – Twin River Armada • 8 p.m.

Southside Festgrounds – Jim Busta Band, Brat Pack Radio, Back Home Boys (Oktoberfest) Sunday – 9/30 Southside Festgrounds – The Dweebs, Thomas Rhett (Oktoberfest)

WEEKLY GIGS Sunday Holmen Concert in the Park Series – Halfway Creek Bandshell • 5 p.m.

La Crosse Queen – The Journeymen (dinner cruise) • 6 p.m.

Popcorn – Innocuous Voodoo (funk) • 10 p.m.

Monday Popcorn – Grant’s Open Jam • 10 p.m.

Del’s – Cheech’s Open Jam • 10 p.m.

Tuesday Popcorn – Paulie • 10 p.m.

Root Note – 3rd Relation Jazz • 8 p.m.

Thursday Starlight – Kies & Kompanie (jazz) • 5 p.m.

Root Note – Open Mic • 8 p.m.

Popcorn – Dave Orr’s Blues Jam • 10 p.m.

Friday La Crosse Queen – The Journeymen (dinner cruise) • 7:30 p.m.

Saturday La Crosse Queen – The Journeymen (dinner cruise) • 6 p.m.

Adams Street Pub HAPPY HOUR:

Morning: Mon. – Fri. 9a.m.–Noon Evening: Mon. – Sat. 3–7 p.m.

COLLEGE SPECIAL:

M-TH after 7 p.m.: A pizza & pitcher for $11.00 Another $ 1.00 off with College I.D.

F R E E WI-FI!!!

Plug your own I-Pod in to our sound system for FREE tunes!

CHECK US OUT ON FACEBOOK!

14// Sept. 1, 2012

The Beer Review

"That show is so corny" As is this crossword

By Matt Jones

Answers on Page 4

Oktoberfest Märzen Hacker-Pschorr Munich, Germany

©2012 Jonesin' Crosswords

ACROSS 1 ___-stealer 6 Fridge stickers 13 1992 Madonna album 15 Arctic herd 16 Corny game show set on city streets?

17 Carbon-14, for one 18 East, in Germany 19 Drag (around) 21 Extremely cold 22 Corny reality show set all over the world, with "The"?

27 Legendary king of Crete 29 Deschanel of "New Girl" 30 More slippery and gooey 32 ___-cone 33 Typical guy on romance novel covers 37 With 39-across, corny buddy cop show?

39 See 37-across 41 "Andre the Giant ___ Posse"

Second Supper | The Free Press

CONSUMPTION

42 Get some grub 44 Little party 45 Magazine that popularized the term "crowdsourcing" 47 Name of three Shakespearean title kings 48 Corny coming-of-age dramedy?

53 Label for Arab meat dealers 54 Obedience school lesson 55 Kaczynski or Koppel 58 Home perm brand 61 And all these corny TV shows are brought to you by...

64 Plants the grass after it dries out, say 65 Slowly slide into chaos 66 The O in Jackie O 67 Actress Chabert DOWN 1 Mrs.'s counterparts, in Mexico 2 Family played by Alex-

ander, Stiller and Harris 3 Biblical verb ending 4 CNN's ___ Robertson 5 2011 outbreak cause 6 Sprint competitor, once 7 Some batteries 8 Just barely awake and functioning 9 Fertilizer component 10 Virus named for a Congolese river 11 Subject of debate 12 Rain-unfriendly material 13 Earth Day prefix 14 Rife with conversation 20 Cheap cars of the 1990s 23 "Chaplin" actress Kelly 24 "Hey, wait ___!"

25 New Rochelle, N.Y. college 26 Some Chryslers 27 ___ pit 28 Letter after theta 31 Major German river,

in German 33 More bashful 34 Subway barrier 35 Rehab participant 36 Between S and F on a laptop 38 36 inches 40 Qatar's capital 43 Concert concession stand buys 45 Howling beasts 46 Like jerky 48 Top-to-bottom, informally 49 Tony-winning actress Uta ___ 50 Actress Donovan of "Clueless" 51 Cardiff is there 52 Lucy's friend, on "I Love Lucy" 56 One of the deadly sins 57 Turn green, perhaps 59 First name in "The Last King of Scotland" 60 Season opener?

62 Eggs, to a biologist 63 Leather shoe, for shortland)

wE have moved!

444 main St., Suite 310, La Crosse, WI 54601

the free press

Office hours by appointment only

As we all know, September is the month of Oktoberfest — both the huge party that reduces La Crosse to a particularly enthocentric bacchanalia and the German lager known as a Märzen that gets released in time for these first chilly nights of autumn. And much like the La Crosse party gets mixed reviews among city residents, even for beer aficionados the Märzen is a polarizing style.

Many find it too heavy or malty or light on hops, but I happen to love this beer. Oktoberfests are the perfect seasonal release, and for the past four years, every beer review I published in September was a Märzen. Now that Second Supper only prints monthly, that feat is slightly less impressive, but I have no intention of breaking this Oktoberfest tradition anytime soon.

And since I’m only going to be reviewing one Oktoberfest beer this September, I might as well make it the original: HackerPschorr’s Oktoberfest Märzen. According to company history, Joseph Pschorr created the very first Oktoberfest in 1810 when Ludwig I, crown prince of Bavaria, commissioned the already-famous brewmaster to make a beer for his wedding. The party and beer were so fantastic, we’ve been celebrating it ever since. That’s a beer recipe you can trust.

Purchase: One pint of Oktoberfest Märzen at the Bodega Brew Pub, $5

Style: Oktoberfest

Strength: 5.8 percent ABV

Packaging: Hacker-Pschorr has a distinct white and baby blue marketing scheme,

and its bottles are wrapped in a checkerboard pattern. The tap handle at the Bodega maintains some of that coloring, but it also has a dignified portrait of a classy European gentleman whom I just going to assume is Joseph Pschorr.

Appearance: More than most lagers, this Märzen pours an excellent tawny red hue that appears robust though still relatively clear beneath a foamy white head.

Aroma: The aroma is sweet but appreciably fresh, much better than some of the widely distributed American Märzens that travel shorter distances but smell years old.

This Hacker-Pschorr has a rich grain profile, fresh malting and a kiss of floral hops.

Taste: This Oktoberfest gets that first taste just right. While some Märzens come on heavy and metallic, the Hacker-Pschorr seeps in on sweet wisps of cereal and slowly unveils its complexity. As the beer warms the taste gets more bready, but it remains intriguingly creamy, and a fine hop sendoff cuts through the sweetness and leaves the mouth with a delicious aftertaste.

Mouthfeel: For having such a full flavor, it’s surprisingly thin bodied.

Drinkability: The drinkability is quite high, exactly what you’d want as the foundation of a two-week beer festival.

Ratings: BeerAdvocate scores this an 88 while RateBeer gives it an 87. I expected higher scores for this lion of the Märzen style, but that just goes show you can’t tell other people how to Oktoberfest. Well, the city of Munich can, and Hacker-Pschorr is one of only six breweries allowed to pour during that city’s festival. It’s hard to beat that recommendation. Prost!

— Adam Bissen

Beer Directory THE CASINO 304 Pearl St. Beer list Wittekerke Franziskaner Hacker-Pschorr Weiss Weihenstephan Kristall 16.9 oz Delirium Tremens 750 ml Melange A Trois Reserve 750 ml Pearl Street Pale Ale Paddy Pale Ale Moon Man Crooked Tree Hopslayer Centennial Hop Stoopid 22oz LambickX 750 ml Petrus Aged Pale 750 ml Goudenband 750 ml Smuttynose Farmhouse 22 oz Spotted Cow Prima Pils Golden Pheasant 16.9oz Brew Farm Select Lager Grain Belt Nordeast Lost Lake Light Rhinelander Export-7 oz La Crosse Lager La Crosse Light Spaten Optimator Huber Bock Doppel Weizen 22oz

Downtown Brown Hobgoblin Founder's Porter Cappuccino Stout 22oz Founders Breakfast Stout Matacabras Dark Ale Gouden Carolus 750 ml Achel Trappist Extra 750ml Kasteel Donker 750ml PEARL STREET BREWERY TASTING ROOM 1401 St. Andrew St. Beer list D.T.B Pale Ale El Hefe That's What I'm Talkin' 'Bout Stout Rubber Mills Pils Tambois Raspberry Framboise Java Lava Dankenstein Double IP KAT'ES CRUNCH 333 Main St. Beer list Domestic Beers: Alaskan Amber Anchor Steam Beer Bitter Woman IPA Pabst Blue Ribbon Premium Grainbelt

Red Bridge (Gluten Free) Sam Adams Boston Lager Blue Moon (Tap) Coors Light (Tap) Sam Adams Summer Ale (Tap) Sierra Nevada Summit On Wisconsin: New Glarus: Fat Squirrel Moon Man Road Slush Spotted Cow (Tap) Totally Naked Pearl Street Brewery: Dankenstein IPA Downtown Brown (Tap) El Hefe Pale Ale (Tap) Coming soon: Stout Oktoberfest Ciders: Angry Orchard (Gluten Free) Strongbow Around the World: Amstel Light (Belgium) Dos Equis XX (Mexico) Guinness (Ireland) Hacker Pschorr (Germany) Smithwicks (Ireland) St. Pauli Girl (Non-Alcoholic)

Second Supper | The Free Press

Sept. 1, 2012 // 15

SHOP SMALL

SHOP LOCAL

The following area businesses, all winners in the 2012 Best of La Crosse contest, extend a warm welcome to our Oktoberfest visitors. Please support these small businesses, which are committed to the community and its guests.

1914 Campbell Rd. (608) 782-7764

2011

Winner - Soup Selection & Cheap Lunch Finalist - Sandwich/wrap selection

THANKS! FOR VOTING FOR

THE PEARL

10:30 AM – 7:30 PM Monday through Saturday

ICE CREAM PARLOR Best Candy Homemade makes the difference Shop

twisted skull studios 206 4th ST. South 608-785-8200 La Crosse, WI

Sundays: Breakfast Buffet starting at 9am, Chances to win Packer ticket every game!

custom tattooing Twistedskull.com

HOMEMADE ICE CREAM

THANKS!

Make It Downtown Tonight!

FOR VOTING FOR

THE PEARL

ICE CREAM PARLOR

Cut out this ad and bring it into the shop and receive 10% off your next tattoo!

Best Candy Shop

Restaurant

Breakfast • Lunch • Dinner Carry Out Always Available

HOMEMADE ICE CREAM

Another Tradition in La Crossse since 1931.

Proud sponsors of the Oktoberfest Maple Leaf & Torchlight Parades!

R VOTING US THANKS FO OPEN DAILY WINGS T(#- 1) THE BES9AM 10PM IN THE AREA.

OPEN Daily 9AM - 10PM 207 Pearl St • 782-6655

801 Rose Street | (608) 784-1811

Sports Nut – Your Home for Sports!

Sing your song and don't be ugly.

Thanks La Crosse, for lookin' so fine!

Happy Hour 4 to 6 pm Everyday!

OPEN Daily 9AM - 10PM 207 Pearl St • 782-6655

OPEN DAILY 9AM - 10PM

& Bakery

www.fayzes.com | 608-784-9548

Homemade makes the difference

Thanks for putting us ‘on top’ for a third year in a row.

Sundays: Breakfast Buffet starting at 9am, Chances to win Packer ticket every game!

www.fayzes.com 4th & Pearl • Downtown La Crosse (608) 784-9548 Like us on facebook!

SECOND SUPPER READERS & FAYZE’S FANS – THANK YOU ALL FOR YOUR PATRONAGE AND SUPPORT! - ALL FAYZE’S L a CYOUR r o s s eFRIENDS ’ s F a v o r i tAT e O pen Mic

Sing your song and don't be ugly.

Thanks La Crosse, for Runner Up Favorite Coffee Shop Runner Up Favorite Ar t Space

115 4th St. South

|

La Crosse, WI 54601

|

608 782-7668

16// Sept. 1, 2012

The ADvice GoDDeSS

By Amy Alkon amy.alkon@secondsupper.com Bride and zoom

I’m in love, and I just said yes to marrying the man of my dreams. We’ve only known each other for two months, but we’re in the Peace Corps.

You really see the core of a person when conditions are not so comfy. We’re planning on traveling home to get married on our next monthly break.

(We get two days off.) Afterward, we’ll have a big celebration back here with all our local friends.

My best friend’s begging me to slow down, but my parents married two weeks after meeting, and that worked out. Marrying now feels very romantic and like the most right thing I’ve ever wanted to do. What’s wrong with saying yes to romance?

— Excited

Second Supper | The Free Press

THE LAST WORD

It’s easy to fi nd a lot in common with

a guy when you’re both living thousands of miles from home: “Wow — you live in a mud hut?! I live in a mud hut! You have a hole for a toilet? I have a hole for a toilet!”

This could very well be the voluntourism version of two 14-year-olds deciding they’re the second coming of Romeo and Juliet because they like EXACTLY THE SAME MUSIC AND MOVIES! Eventually, the 14-year-olds hit their 20s. (Life in one’s 20s, like life back home, includes a few more complexities.) A mutual obsession with geeksta rap suddenly matters lots less when one turns militant vegan while the other has problems with hunting, but only because she prefers her meat already killed, skinned, and cooked, and delivered to her with a side of asparagus on fi ne china.

You say you’re in love, but it’s the part of love that can’t be trusted — the infatuation stage. (Say hi to your hormones, because you’re their bitch.) Anthropologist Dr. Helen Fisher and her colleagues found that infatuation correlates with a surge in the neurotransmitter dopamine, and Fisher told Psychology Today that infatuation shares elements of a cocaine high — “sleeplessness, loss of a sense of time, absolute focus on love to the detriment of all around you.” In other words, getting married now is like signing a binding lifetime contract while on an extended coke bender.

It doesn’t help that the human brain is like a grabby toddler, prone to go for immediate rewards without weighing the consequences. Later, it comes back around and does the adult job of justifying all of its unwise choices. For you, even the absurdity of marrying somebody you barely know becomes a justifi cation: “I’m not an idiot; in fact, I’m bright! So marrying somebody I just met isn’t idiotic; it’s romantic!” You also turn your parents’ marital impulsivity into precedent. Guess what: They were dumb — and lucky. They turned out to be compatible, as you two may — or may not — be two years from now, once you’re back in the land where chicken is something sold in shrinkwrap, not something that hops across your head at night.

Waiting to get married doesn’t preclude you from throwing a party. Use those two days back home to invite your friends to celebrate with you, to witness you experiencing the joys so many of us take for granted — hot showers, doing laundry in a washing machine, and encountering enormous bugs, but only the kind that come with a threeyear/36,000-mile warranty.

Gone with the Schwinn

I’m a 31-year-old guy, a part-time model, newly single, and scared to talk to women. Yesterday, I saw a beautiful woman checking me out at

Whole Foods. I didn’t know what to do, so I unlocked my bike and rode off. This happens maybe three times a week.

— Getting Ridiculous

The roof of Whole Foods will not open up while you’re shopping, and a beautiful woman will not fall into your cart and say, “Oh, wow — I’ve been waiting for a man like you to take me home and smear me with cruelty-free peanut butter.” Sadly, this means you’ll need to approach a woman, open your lips, and make words come out about something she’s wearing, doing, or carrying: “Kelp steaks! They’re even better than the tofu T-bone!” The way to get comfortable doing this is by actually doing this. For two weeks in a row, give yourself a weekly quota: You have to make moves on 21 women you’d be interested in dating — three per day — even if it takes going out expressly to fi nd women to hit on. If you fall short one day, make it up the next. Come up with a punishment, like giving $50 to charity, should you fail to meet your weekly number. Every woman you talk to isn’t going to go out with you, but you’ll certainly get more dates than you do with your current strategy: “A beautiful woman is looking at me! Quick, unlock the bike and speed away!” (c) 2011, Amy Alkon, all rights reserved.

Our next edition of Second Supper | The Free Press publishes Oct. 1. Our advertising deadline is Sept. 24. For information, email roger.bartel@secondsupper.com.

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Good People, Good Drinks, Good Times

SUNDAY

$5 Pitchers $2 Bottles of Miller Products (11-4 pm) $2 Corona Bottles $2 Kilo Kai Mixers $3 Bloody’s (7-1am)

MONDAY

$1.75 - Miller/Bud Taps $2.25 Micro/Craft Taps $2.50 Cherry Bombs (7-1am)

TUESDAY

$1.75 Rails $1.50 Domestic Taps $3.50 Jager Bombs (7-1am)

SATURDAY

WEDNESDAY

$2 Domestic Bottles $2.50 Skyy/Absolute Mixers $2 Dr. Shots (7-1am)

THURSDAY

5 Domestic Bottles 4 $10 $5 Micro/Import Bottles $11.50, $7 Micro/Craft Pitchers (7-1am)

$5 Miller Lite/Bud Light Pitchers $2.25 Leinies Bottles (7-1am)

FRIDAY

$2 Captain Mixers $2 Long Islands Mixers (7-1am)