2// July 1, 2010
Second Supper
Social Networking naMe and age: Ashly Conrad, 21 Second Supper 614 Main St., La Crosse, WI 54601 Phone: (608) 782-7001 Online: secondsupper.com Publisher: Roger Bartel roger.bartel@secondsupper.com Editor in Chief: Adam Bissen adam.bissen@secondsupper.com Student Editor: Emily Faeth emily.faeth@secondsupper.com Sales: Mike Keith mike.keith@secondsupper.com Sales: Jenaveve Bell jenaveve.bell@secondsupper.com Sales: Ansel Ericksen ansel.ericksen@secondsupper.com Regular Contributors: Amy Alkon, Jacob Bielanski, Erich Boldt, Nick Cabreza, Mary Catanese, Brett Emerson, Jake Groteuschen, Shuggypop Jackson, Matt Jones, Stephanie Schultz, Anna Soldner Cover Illustration: Carolyn Ryan Second Supper is a weekly alternative newspaper published by Bartanese Enterprises LLC, 614 Main St., La Crosse, WI 54601
WHeRe WeRe You BoRn? La Crosse, WI CuRRent JoB: Proud part of the Root Note, photographer for this lovely paper, and director of sales for the T.U.G.G. boys!
Carter! haha WHat is YouR BeveRage oF CHoiCe? Water, or MILK! YUM! WHat Book aRe You CuRRentlY Reading? Not in a book at this time, but the last book I read was probably Green Eggs and Ham with my nephew Gander Boy! tell us YouR guiltiest PleasuRe: Chocolate anything! WHat is YouR Biggest Pet Peeve? People who chew with thier mouth open
dReaM JoB: There's many: photographer for National Geographic, illustrator/animator, landscaper, organic farmer or work with Cake Girls in Chicago, IL!
WHat one PeRson, alive oR dead, Would You Want to Have dinneR WitH? Jack Black
last tHing You googled: Bay City Bombers, check em' out yo!
tell us a Joke: Whats 5,000 pounds, has 80 wheels, and is covered with fish nets? A roller derby team.
iF You Could live anYWHeRe in tHe WoRld, WHeRe Would it Be? New Zealand
WHat's tHe last tHing You BougHt? Aloe for my burnt back!
WHat is soMetHing You Want to do BeFoRe You die? Play with at least 15 differant roller derby teams, traveling the world making lots of money!
WHat's in YouR PoCket RigHt noW?: I'm wearing a dress.
iF a genie gRanted You one WisH, WHat Would You ask FoR? For everyone in La Crosse and surrounding areas to support and be a part of your local roller derby, music, locally owned businesses, and farmers markets! CeleBRitY CRusH: Brandon Boyd
WHat is YouR FavoRite PaRt oF seCond suPPeR? The cover art, things to do, and the music. HoW do You knoW RYan (last Week's inteRvieW)? He's my broski!
L'Editor Dear Reader:
The Fourth of July is only days away, and personally I can’t wait to let freedom ring. But I’m not talking about the freedom to grill hot dogs, explode Roman candles or protest taxation without representation. I’m talking about the freedom to go to a bar and wear the same T-shirt the next day! Yes, friends, the Wisconsin state workplace smoking ban will go into effect July 5, and honestly this a day I’ve been waiting for for six years. Although I’ve lived in La Crosse for several elections, major shifts in domestic and foreign policy, tight American Idol fi nishes and Brett Favre playing for three different football teams, this smoking ban has seemingly been the topic of the greatest debate. I know Second Supper writers have taken the topic on several times over the years, but barring the outcome of an inevitable legal challenge, this is probably the last time we’ll be bringing it up. Give it a few months of fresh air, and I bet we’ll be wondering why we even had the debate in the fi rst place. And speaking of catching one's breath, Second Supper will be taking next week off to give ourselves a much-needed vacation. We’ll return July 15 with a bigger, bolder newspaper, but in the meantime I plan on spending some QT under the stars and exploring a few new sandbars. Then I’ll probably come back to town, grab a cold one, and breathe easy.
— Compiled by Shuggypop Jackson, shuggypop.jackson@secondsupper.com
— Adam Bissen
FiRst ConCeRt You Went to: Unfourtunetly Aaron
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Second Supper
Things To Do Stroll in heels, for a good cause
The Top
Things to do on July 4 1. Raise a flag 2. Light sparklers 3. Eat watermelon 4. Wear a tri-cornered hat 5. Listen to Lee Greenwood 6. Watch a baseball game 7. Protest the G20 summit Things Elena Kagan does not talk about 1. Fight Club 2. Joshua v. Edward 3. Good fishin’ holes 4. Cancun ‘73 5. Her Twitter account 6. Bar league softball 7. What’s under that robe
July 1, 2010 // 3
FIRST THINGS FIRST
"Walk A Mile in Her Shoes" is taking place today, July 1, at Riverside Park. The event is hosted by the Riverfest Commodores, and their goal is to have 300 or more men and women walking in high heeled shoes to raise awareness about domestic violence. The walkers will make two laps around Riverside Park in high heel pumps. Registration is from 10:30 a.m. to 5 p.m., shoe pick-up is from 3 p.m. to 5 p.m., the walk from 5 p.m. to 6 p.m. and a finale from 6 p.m. to 6:30 p.m. The $40 registration fee includes high heel shoe rental, a T-shirt, Riverfest button, Riverfest food vouchers and the awesome feeling that you are raising awareness! For more information, visit www. walkamilelacrosse.org.
1
Take a cruise
In honor of Riverfest, the La Crosse Queen is offering specialty cruises at Riverside Park. All you have to do is present your Riverfest button and you will receive 50 percent off all sightseeing cruises (limited to adults only), or you can take $7 off all dinner, brunch and cocktail cruises. The cocktail cruise with pizza/beer/ soda is 4:30 p.m. to 6 p.m. on July 3 and 4. There is a dinner cruise from 6:45 p.m. to 9:15 p..m. July 3, and a fireworks dinner cruise from 8 p.m. to 11 p.m. July 4. For reservations, call (608) 784-8523. Or if you prefer your boat cruises to be a more on the wild side, Mississippi Explorer Cruises is also offering a $5 discount for anyone with a Riverfest button. These cruises, which get into the backwaters of the Mississippi River, depart July 1-4 at 10:30 a.m. and return to shore at noon. A sunset cruise sets sail July 3 and 4 at 6:30 p.m.
2
Bike for beer
3
Got a bike? If so, then ride on down to the Pearl Street Brewery, 1401 St. Andrew St., every Wednesday for the brilliant Free Wheelin' Wednesdays. If you cruise in on two wheels, you get a free pint of your favorite Pearl Street brew! For more information, call (608) 784-4832 or check out their Web site at www.pearlstreetbrewery.com
See a multimedia concert
Some entertainment that you will not want to miss is taking place at The Pump House on Friday, July 2, at 7 p.m. Steven Marking of Holmen will perform the original "I've Known Rivers." This multimedia concert will provide a wide musical spectrum, with photos and video projected while he sings about his experiences on the river. Tickets are $18 in advance, $22 day of show and can be purchased at The Pump House, 119 King St.
4
Have happy hour in the dark
Energy isn't cheap — and as the recent Gulf oil spill proves, it isn't always safe either. To keep us conscious of all the ways we consume energy, the Root Note hosts Lights Out Happy Hours, every Wednesday from 5 p.m. until dark. By turning the lights out in the Fourth Street cafe, patrons are encouraged to think about their impact on the Earth. By offering specials on local fruit sangria, sake bloody Marys and Pearl Street Brewery taps, they make sure everyone has a fun time while doing so. But hurry, these offers end at sundown, so you'll want to get down there while the days are still long.
5
4// July 1, 2010
Second Supper
COMMENTARY
The WisPolitics.com Week in Review stoCk RePoRt
Rising Stem cell debate
One of the key litmus tests in the 2006 governor's race appears to be moving to the forefront again this year as Dem Tom Barrett vows he'll support stem cell research as guv. Barrett chastises his GOP opponents for tying the hands of world-renowned scientists. GOP candidates Scott Walker and Mark Neumann reiterate their support for non-embryonic stem cell research. Observers see the issue as a troubled one for Republicans, noting how Gov. Jim Doyle used it to win re-election. Proponents say it's a huge economic development issue for Wisconsin, and Republicans block it at their peril.
Reminds you to support the retailers, restaurants, taverns and bands that support us. We are funded solely by advertising so if you want to support us, support them!
CONSCIENTIOUS COMMERCE: Let Freedom Ring!
Writers Wanted Second Supper is looking to add freelance columnists to write on any of the following topics: • Local government/politics • Local bar scene • Local restaurants • Local arts scene • Life in La Crosse Send letter of introduction and 500-word column sample(s) to editor@secondsupper.com.
MiXed
tHat's deBataBle
Editor's Note: WisOpinion.com has asked two veterans of Wisconsin policy and politics, Scot Ross of One Wisconsin Now and Brian Fraley of the John K. MacIver Institute for Public Policy, to engage in weekly exchanges on a topic of their choosing. In this installment of "That's Debatable," Fraley and Ross debate Gen. Stanley McChrystal and U.S. strategy in Afghanistan. Scot Ross: That President Obama had to relieve Stanley McChrystal of his command in Afghanistan after the general’s derisive comments in Rolling Stone may be debatable. But what is not debatable is that, at no fault of our brave troops, America’s now longest war has been an abject failure. America must get out of Afghanistan as soon as possible. History can judge McChrystal’s sacking by one standard: Did it get our troops out of Afghanistan more or less quickly?
Brian Fraley: I was wondering how the left would come to grips with Obama's selection of Gen. David Petraeus (the warrior selected by President Bush who led the successful surge in Iraq). Your Soros-funded comrades Smoking ban The statewide ban on smoking in pub- at MoveOn.org have tried to erase all traces lic spaces is set to take effect in early July, of their vile 'General Betray Us' ad, and now as debate over the new law continues. The you want to gloss over the topic. I guess the Tavern League of Wisconsin, which long easiest way to avoid charges of hypocrisy is to opposed the bill before relenting to a com- change the subject and deny history. promise proposal in early 2009, says its members are looking forward to the law's Ross: Getting the hell out of Afghanistan is uniformity and hope predictions about the right thing to do. Bush completely failed an increase in business from non-smokers our troops and left them there with no disholds true. But the group's lobbyist argues cernible mission and without the ground that every level of government to pass a troops and support to achieve whatever we smoking ban has seen the opposite effect, were supposed to achieve there. He let Bin and suspects the ban may fi nally lead to the Laden get away. Your obsession with Mr. Soruining of some businesses that have been ros and MoveOn notwithstanding, the hishanging on by a thread during the reces- tory is undeniable, and we need to bring our sion. Meanwhile, smoke-free advocates say soldiers in Afghanistan (and Iraq, of course) taverns haven't overwhelmingly created home once and for all. new outdoor smoking areas for customers, and one says that's wise given the declin- Fraley: Scot, each week it is amazing if you ing smoking population. They're cautiously optimistic about the law, but the Tavern League says it's willing to go to court if members feel the rules aren't working for Child care rating system in the works them. The Joint Finance Committee has approved funding to create a rating system for child care providers. "I think that this is a very strong step forward," said Children and Families Secretary Reggie Bicha. "This is implementing a Phosphorus pollution The state Natural Resources Board quality rating and improvement system that passes new rules cracking down on farms, will be a viable program for the state of Wisutilities and industrial sites that produce consin." Under the proposal, rankings for the phosphorus and other water pollutants. Of- fi cials say the new rules -- which would en- system would begin Jan. 1. The Department act measurable standards for phosphorus of Children and Families must develop a content in water for the fi rst time — will fi ve-year sustainability plan and collect data result in cleaner water, fewer algae blooms to develop the rating system by Nov. 22 for and healthier aquatic wildlife. But skeptics JFC approval. The committee amended the plan to say the state hasn't come up with a way to save about $4.5 million through phasing in ease the price of the new regulations, and that the estimated $1 billion impact will ul- the program and fi ne-tuning details and timately fall on the state's businesses. Mean- benchmarks. About $5.6 million was apwhile, a new law takes effect July 1 to curb proved to kick start the program, with anthe amount of phosphorus allowable in other $4.2 million potentially available in December, pending JFC approval. residential dishwasher detergents.
can go two sentences without blaming President Bush. The soldiers currently serving in Afghanistan have been suffering under the Obama/McChrystal rules of engagement, which virtually have eliminated the use of air support. Hopefully, Petraeus can remedy this. I do not begrudge President Obama relieving his guy of command; it is his right, even if it was due to a bruised ego. Petraeus is a fantastic choice. A hero. A patriot. And a warrior who has proved he knows how to win. Ross: Bruised ego? OK. On that, I’m going to defer to the words of Rep. Dave Obey, who as always, told it the way it is: "Anybody, including a U.S. Army General, is entitled to making a damn fool of themselves once. But General McChrystal hasn't appeared to learn from his mistakes. In London last October, he made a deliberate determination to try to box in the President, and the President was generous to give him another chance to prove that he understood the chain of command. His repeated contempt for the civilian chain of command demonstrates a bull-headed refusal to take other people's judgments into consideration. That is damn dangerous in somebody whose decisions determine life and death for American troops and others in the region.” Fraley: Well, the hope now is that with the loose-lipped liberal general out, our troops will get the support they need and our war against the Taliban and Al-Qaeda can be fought aggressively once more. So many of your leftist brethren merely want to end wars. My side would prefer to win them. Man, it must really frost you guys. Gitmo is still open. We're still (at least somewhat) fi ghting the war on terror in Iraq and Afghanistan, George Bush's secretary of defense and the general who led the successful Iraqi surge are still around. Change you can believe in, huh?
neWs in BRieF
Falling
Evers proposes K-12 reforms
The state's top education offi cial is calling for a series of reforms to the state's funding formula for K-12 education, including a shift of the $900 million that now goes to the School Levy Tax Credit into general school aids. Department of Public Instruction Superintendent Tony Evers said shifting the levy credit funding would generate more money for classrooms with little effect on property taxes. Other aspects of his plan include creating a minimum level of aid for every student, including poverty levels along with property values in determining state aid, and establishing a pattern of predictable growth in state support. Evers also called for expanding aid and transportation funding to rural schools and said he wants to review categorical aids for schools.
Second Supper
COMMUNITY
July 1, 2010 // 5
SSE Music owners reminisce on 25 years
By Adam Bissen
adam.bissen@secondsupper.com
Steve and Sharon Earp — the S, S and E of SSE Music — are childhood sweethearts who opened a music store together in 1985. Twentyfive years later, the business is an institution in the La Crosse community, especially for providing instruments and instrunction for school music programs. In honor of the store's silver aniversary July 10, Second Supper sat down with Steve and Sharon this week at their George Street business to discuss their musical backgrounds, business philosopy and why they no longer sell metal kazoos. Why did you decide to open a music store? Steve Earp: Well, I was raised in the construction business, Earl Earp & Sons construction in La Crosse. It was my sister and brother and I that owned the business. Mom had run it for years after my dad had passed away. And when we decided to liquidate it we needed another business to go into. Sharon Earp: We had had a family band. Steve: We had a family band for years. We traveled in motor home and did concerts all over, bought all our equipment from Larry’s Music, which was on the Northside in a strip mall. I was considering what we were going to do, and I walked into the store one day and said to Larry “Would you ever consider selling this place?” And he looked at me and said [bug-eyed] “Are you serious?” And within a month or so we ended up purchasing Larry’s Music. My wife Sharon played piano and taught piano lessons. And so we jumped in with all four legs. What was this family band like? What were you guys called?
The MAJAK MiXtAPe By Jonathan Majak jonathan.majak@secondsupper.com Hello readers, I’m your Majak Mixtape writer. Do you bathe yourself in irony? Do you routinely quote Catcher in the Rye at parties? Do you hate anything mainstream? Well then you’re probably just the kind of a-hole who will like this week’s mix, the “Getting Hipster With It” mix. So why don’t you join the thousands of the snarky, sassy people and get a great big dose of the “Getting Hipster With It” mix.” It’s so tasty, too. First up on the mix is Sleigh Bells, a boy/girl duo who makes a fuzzy sounding fabulous brand of pop music. Their sharp debut album Treats is a mish-mash of infl uences of everything from Phil Spector to Sonic Youth as the duo embrace a sound quality that sometimes sounds at best like it was recorded in a bathroom. Stand out track "Rill Rill" is the best Ronettes tune they never
Steve: We were called Spirit. We were a gospel band. We sang in a lot of churches and Christian events. We traveled within 6 to 8 hours, had a motor home and trailer. When we bought the music store we didn’t have the time to do the band anymore.
selling! A buddy of mine who’s a policeman, he says “Well, you know what they’re using ‘em for?” I says “What?” “To smoke their pot in.” Discontinued! Plastic only! Sharon: Do you want to hear the funniest story ever in this store?
What was the business climate like in La Crosse 25 years ago when you started? Sharon: It was different. Steve: Music stores were good. Music education, I mean the schools had a lot bigger budgets 25 years ago, and that’s basically the market that we were after: the school markets and renting band instruments and repairing band instruments and orchestra instruments.
Naturally. Steve: The funniest story ever in the store, we had this gal come in. Her son brought her in, she was in her late-80s, old gal. And she wanted to look at harmonicas because she played harmonica. We’re not really supposed to let them try harmonicas but she was really adamant about letting her try this real expensive harmonica. And her son says “Well, if she likes it, she’ll probably buy it.” So I handed her the harmonica, and she in turn handed me her teeth! Put her teeth in my hand! And I stood there, and the rest of the store seen it happen, and they just died laughing and all took off and went into the back room. I was standing there holding this gal’s teeth, and she was just playing this harmonica. She was the best harmonica player I’ve ever heard. She was just phenomenal. And it’s like I’m holding her teeth, and I’m waiting for her to get done, and she gets done and grabs her teeth and puts them back in her mouth. Sharon: She said “I’ll buy it!”
What are the advantages of serving the school market? Steve: It’s probably the most consistent market that we’ve had. Now there’s been budget cuts and things that have been happening in the last fi ve years, but it’s very consistent. You develop relationships with band directors, choir directors, general music directors. Sharon: We feel like we’re a part of keeping music alive. Twenty-five years ago when SSE Music started, did you think it would grow into this? Steve: I was so young and dumb. Sharon: We were happy when we sold a guitar! Steve: Well, I had visions that you want to be successful. The biggest thing is I can’t believe 25 years has gone by. Life is pretty short. Sharon: People used to buy metal kazoos from us back then, and we didn’t realize that they were using them to smoke pot. [laughs] That’s how dumb we were. Steve: We couldn’t believe how many we were
recorded as it fl oats on a wave of low budget Wall of Sound production and lead singer’s Alexis Krauss’ girlish voice that provides the sweet to the sometimes purposefully sour production. Quit trying to fi nd the right color of bodysuit on American Apparel and listen to The Magic Kids and their song “Hey Boy.” Playing July 19 at First Avenue in Minneapolis, this band is so unrepentantly gleeful they could put a smile even on the most stone cold hyper-wry face. “Hey Boy” is the perfect summer tune, Beach Boys music meets Sesame Street-esque backing vocals all done in two minutes. Stop rereading Dave Eggers for a moment and listen to The Pains of Being Pure at Heart, which admittedly sounds like a sequel to Eggers’ A Heartbreaking Work of Staggering Genius. An indie band with the requisite wispy male voice lead singer, their song “Say No To Love” could be a B-side to The Cure’s “Lovesong” and makes the perfect soundtrack for running around Ikea 500 Days of Summer style. Buy: VV Brown’s electro-ish cover The Smiths’ “This Charming Man” YouTube: Kanye West’s performance of his new single “Power” on the BET Awards Read: The pretty much amazing music blog Pretty Much Amazing (www.prettymuchamazing.com)
What do you see happening for the business in the next 25 years? Sharon: That remains to be seen. Steve: Hopefully 25 years is just a start. We’ll
At A Glance
WHat: SSE Music's 25th anniversary celebration WHeRe: SSE Music, 2609 George St. WHen: Saturday, July 10, noon-9p.m. FYi: Live music from Happy's Garage, the West Salem Adult Jazz Band and 3 Beers 'Til Dubuque; drum clinic with Ben E. Carlos of Cheap Trick; everything in the store 25 percent off through July see what happens. It all depends on health and everything else. We’ve got such good people here at SSE Music that we’re able to delegate more and more. We’re not planning on going anywhere. Do you expect it to stay in the family? Steve: Do I expect it to stay in the family? My children, my son is in Waunakee and he works for Humana. He’s in charge of agencies and agents. And my daughter, she’s active army reserve up in Ft. McCoy. And I don’t think they have an interest in it. We’ll probably hang on to it as long as we can, and probably pass it on. Sharon: Probaby wait for that person that comes in some day and says “Would you ever consider selling this?” [laughs] Steve: Yeah. I’m waiting for the same thing that I did. “You know Steve, would you ever consider selling your store?”
6// July 1, 2010
The Arts Review The Curtain Call Medium: Theatre Angry Housewives Troupe: Muse Theatre Dates: July 9, 10, 16, 17, 18, 23, 24, 30, 31
Angry Housewives, playing at the Muse Theatre, is a somber piece examining the effect of crippling gender roles on society and how we to try to break free from those restraints to achieve greater purposes and self-fulfillment. Totally kidding. Angry Housewives is in fact a rollicking good time of a show that flaunts its campy charm from the moment a young punk emerges guitar in hand to sing a song called “Hell School” to when four housewives who’ve formed a punk band angrily shout a number “I Love My Sham Wow, I Hate Men.” That is not to say that Angry Housewives doesn’t have the above message about breaking free and being one’s self, it’s just that it delivers it with over-the-top sheen and a bevy of instantly quotable songs and lines delivered by a gung-ho cast. In the main roles of the four housewives who chuck their suburban existence for a little punk rebellion, Emily Bourland, Beth Lakmann, understudy Julie Muellenberg and Kendall Yorkey show a wide spectrum of comedic talents. The four women in the show are never just resting on funny and letting the one-liners and the intrinsically goofy set-up of the show carry them. Each one finds ways to bring some sort of depth to characters that as written are onedimensional at best. In a show like Housewives, it could be easy for the actresses to make an audience laugh at a character whether it’s a constantly eating divorcee, a wishy-washy dreamer, a failed make-up saleswoman or a Barbie doll perfect woman harboring secret Johnny Rotten vocals; the fact that these characters are not the butt of the jokes but feel more like the arbiters of them is a complete testament to the actresses.
At A Glance WHAT: Angry Housewives WHERE: Muse Theatre, 1353 Avon St. WHEN: 7:30 p.m. July 9, 10, 16, 17, 23, 24, 30, 31; 2 p.m. July 18 HOW MUCH: Tickets $22; $20 for students FYI: Tickets can be purchased at Salon Medusa, 203 S. Fourth St., or at Festival Foods service counters. Charge by phone at (608) 782-0707. Call (608) 397-3752 for information on group discounts.
Second Supper
ARTS Special note should be given to Yorkey, who I believe, after seeing in both this and the Rocky Picture Show, continues my belief she is the second coming of Madeline Khan. In a such a female-centric show, the male characters could feel little more than props with a pulse, but the men — Steven Arenz, Brian Pekol, Anthony Rodriguez and Ryan Soberg — hold their own against the women in the show. Instead of merely existing to help shuffle the plotlines along, the actors in the show help enrich the whole kooky environment and actually get one of the best numbers in the Second Act called “Stalling for Time,” which comes with a delightful twist that’s not going to be given away in this review. While all the men are strong, Ryan Soberg helps steal the show as the terrifically named punk club owner Lewd Fingers, whose romance with Bourland’s divorcee is one of the many highlights. Will Angry Housewives change your life? Yes. Why? Because you will probably never be able to walk down a grocery store aisle, see a box of cereal and not hum the Housewives’ great punk tune “Eat Your F*&king Cornflakes.” And really, what more can you ask from a show?
festivities, which get awesome pretty quick. Girls wearing way-too-small Daisy Dukes traipse around dirty white boys. Bob balances his love of his girlfriend Jiffy with his urge to party. Best of all is a rockin’ performance by Bob’s band, Industrial Park, which storms the stage with its hit song, “Porn Soundtrack.” With poetry in his soul, Bob howls the chorus: “The music means somebody’s getting it on! Get it on! Get it on!” With the aid of a local drug dealer, Pipstreaker eventually pulls his head out of his ass and gets down to the rock and roll. When he runs afoul of a belligerent dirtbag, Pip KO’s the fool with his camcorder, instantly becoming a hero in the eyes of those he came to scorn. Soon he’s got a Moo-Lay of his own, and is (kind of) hooking up with his old flame. Yet when the sun comes up, Dens has turned back into a pumpkin, and he slinks away, ashamed of what he’s become. Yet be not dismayed! Let Mulletville be your guiding light, my Billy Ray brethren!
— Jonathan Majak
Medium: Film The Square (2010) Director: Nash Edgerton Cast: David Roberts, Claire van der Boom, Joel Edgerton Writers: Joel Edgerton and Matthew Dabner
Bizarro Masterpiece Theatre Medium: Film Mulletville (2002) Director: Tony Leahy Stars: Tony Leahy, Kelly Boulware, Cynthia Geary Writer: Tony Leahy Summer has arrived, and with it comes another season of high honky fashion. Throughout the land, magnificent specimens of peckerwood bust out their finest cutoff jean shorts and tank tops before rolling their Trans Ams out onto the lawn. Through it all, hockey hair waves softly through the summer breeze with all the regal bearing of an eagle wrapped in peacock feathers. The mullet has returned. A fine fake documentary in the tradition of legendary Canadian hoser film Fubar, Mulletville chronicles a wannabe documentarian’s return to his burned-out hometown to film his cousin Bob’s hootenanny. The returning (and hipsterly selfchristened) Dens is on little more than a revenge mission to show the buffoonery of all the schmucks who picked on him in high school. Yet that plan goes afoul from the start as the good ol’ boys quickly bring up the nervous filmmaker’s past, culminating with a viewing of an old video in which Dens is cast from the boys’ locker room nude and forced to confess his lameness to the girl of his dreams. The events shown in this video left Dens with a slightly less cool and wholly involuntary nickname: Pipstreaker. Pipstreaker is not amused. With this old skeleton exhumed and paraded about in front of his documentary crew, Bob’s friends, and worst of all his older, sadder dreamgirl, Pip gets pissy and storms off to the van to sulk. With the hater out of the way, the remaining filmmakers are free to pursue a more objective view of the night’s
— Brett Emerson
The Screening Room
The tagline for the Coen Bros' neo-noir classic No Country for Old Men, "There are no clean getaways," really serves as a tagline for the genre as a whole. Whether they're stolen, extorted, or just simply found lying around, duffel bags filled with dirty cash have the tendency to transform from miraculous godsends into burdensome troublemagnets. The ill-gotten bag of cash at the center of the Australian thriller The Square brings with it the obligatory lies, doublecrosses and violence one should expect, and even though it rarely strays far from convention, the movie takes a remarkably fresh approach to how exactly it unfolds. Like many such films-noir, The Square is at heart a cautionary tale, one that remains enthralling and unpredictable thanks to a few creative twists that are akin to putting a new spin on an old standard. Everyman Ray Yale (Roberts) is having an affair with Carla (van der Boom), whose mullet-sporting, ruffian husband comes home one day with a gym bag filled with stacks of money. He unsuccessfully attempts to hide the money from Carla, who hatches a hasty plan with Ray to steal the loot and hire a thug named Billy (Edgerton) to burn down the house, eliminating any evidence of the theft. Naturally, everything goes wrong. The clandestine lovers get their hands on the money, but Carla's mother-in-law is accidentally killed in the fire. Troubled at having inadvertently murdered someone, Billy comes after Ray, whose wife begins to suspect his infidelity. Oh, and Carla's husband begins assembling a crew of roughnecks to
find out who took the money. And Ray starts receiving anonymous letters from someone trying to blackmail him. And on and on. The Square handles the unraveling of events in a logical manner. Like the frog in the slowly-boiling pot of water, Ray and Carla don't quite realize they're in all that much trouble until their situation is too chaotic to escape. The characters handle their predicaments as would real people, always with a sense of disbelief and unbridled caution. A pervasive tension permeates the film, though there's relatively little action. Credit this to the tight but complex web of supporting characters who seem at every second on the cusp of discovering the truth and turning the situation uglier than it already is. Here is a movie that exhibits incredible restraint. As a result, the film's ending is understandably foreseeable yet explosively unpredictable. This is what happens when good people try to get away with acting bad. The Square revolves around passionate lovers who find the means to live happily ever after, and yet in this movie there is no laughing, no smiling, no happiness. — Nick Cabreza
The Designer's Drugs Media: Album Stimulus: Another Awkward Silence between Friends Artist: Shane Hunt Anno: 2010 It’s been well established that I’m rarely a friend of the acoustic guitar. This isn’t due to any structural defect of the instrument or any criticism of the sound it makes (on sheer annoyance, I usually go with brass instruments). To be blunt, it comes from the legion of white boys who master a chord or two and feel empowered to rain proto-sensitivity all over the rest of us at the party. While I’ve found exceptions to the rule, the rule still stands, and I remain distrustful of most people who pick up a hollow six-string. What sets Shane Hunt apart from his acoustic-plucking peers is the force and range of his voice, qualities which punch his songs of love and loss up a notch. The guitar playing and lyricism on his new EP are at worst quite serviceable, but the singing on Another Awkward Silence is what keeps his music from getting lost in the singer-songwriter shuffle. There are a few moments when Hunt’s voice breaches the barrier between poignant and pubescent — particularly in the chorus of “Just another Star-Crossed Tragedy,” a subdued song which just didn’t grab me — yet these moments are rare. Hunt’s finest moment on Another Awkward Silence is his comparatively poppy opening track, “Serendipity Doo-Dah.” Like a few of the tracks, the opener features a little backing bass to propel the music along, and this one has the added benefit of a backup singer. The best lyrics of the collection are also found here, with lines like “You are the greatest thing that never
Continued ON Page 7
Second Supper
6Q
ARTS with Mary Leonard
director of UW-L production of "Rent" opening today, July 1
By Jonathan Majak jonathan.majak@secondsupper.com 525,600 is either the number of minutes in a year or the number of times I’ve listened to "Seasons of Love" since Rent made its debut in 1996 and became not just a Broadway hit but a Time Magazine cover cultural moment and launched the careers of people such as Taye Diggs and Idina Menzel. The Broadway show is going to be hitting the UW-L SummerStage starting today, and the Second Supper sat down with director Mary Leonard to talk about the highs and lows of doing such an iconic musical. SS: So how do you being to tackle a show like Rent where the audience very much would be coming in with an idea of what they are going see versus you as a director wanting to put your own stamp on it? ML: I approach it respectfully. What I love to do is getting into the emotions of the show being not just a director but also an actress. I want to make each song have emotion because each song is like a monologue and everybody has a story to tell. SS: With a show like Rent that is very much a musical of its mid-90s time period, do you do the show as almost a period piece or do you try to drag it into the present time period? ML: You embrace the time period it is. There are a lot of universals in it that transcend the time period. You can relate to falling in love. You have to embrace the time period because it wouldn’t work set now. It’s very interesting for our actors. They knew about AIDS but they didn’t quite know the full impact since AIDS now isn’t the death sentence it was when Rent started. SS: Last summer, UW-L put on Hair and this year you’re doing Rent, which is often considered the Hair of the '90s. Do you believe that’s an accurate comparison? ML: I’m haunted by some of the parallels between Hair’s through line about the young people gathering, bonding, experimenting with drugs and sexuality and Rent with the young artists in Alphabet City who love each other and take care of each other. SS: Rent was such a huge show that young people embraced at a time when Broadway
Continued FRoM Page 6 happened to me” sure to catch in the listener’s brain. The sum total is a track in which everything comes together just right. The fi nal three tracks buoy the EP with various shades of romantic longing. “Revolver” is a fast-paced tune about an uneven romance in which the short straw ponders the turning of tables. “Undone” is the collection’s second best, a sad, pretty song which features some of Hunt’s best guitar work on display. The end comes in “Spin,” which is a pretty standard uptempo acoustic
At A Glance WHat: Rent WHo: University of Wisconsin–La Crosse Department of Theatre Arts SummerStage WHeRe: Toland Theatre, UW-L Center for the Arts WHen: 7:30 p.m. July 1-3; 8-10 and 2 p.m. July 11 HoW MuCH: $9 for UW-L students; $14 for other students and senior citizens; and $16 for others had a greater presence in the pop culture. People who’ve never seen the show can sing "Seasons of Love." What do you think it says about Rent as well as the shifting nature of Broadway as shows like Rent become few and far between big jukebox musicals? ML: We all grow up with a musical and we know it backwards and forwards. Rent came at a time breaking away from the golden age with a heart and soul and a message. My students study musical history and we’re relatively young when it comes to that. Rent plays a big part in that history but things are always changing. In 10 years will it be as popular? I don’t know. SS: What’s been the best part of directing the show? ML: I feel like I have a great musical director [Gary Walth] and have an amazing cast who are dedicated and want to work. It’s fun and really, it makes the relationships in the show work even stronger. I watch the show now and I’m really invested in it. "Maureen and Joanne stop fi ghting! Colin and Angel, I want you to work out!" [laughs] SS: One last question: If death wasn’t an option, which show would you sit through? Urban Cowboy, Annie 2: The Revenge of Miss Hannigan or Jekyll and Hyde. ML: Would Jekyll and Hyde include David Hasselhoff [star of one of the Broadway versions]? SS: Yes. ML: Oh, I could not do that. I’d try Urban Cowboy. It could be so bad it’s good. guitar song. It’s not as captivating as some of the better songs, but it’s not at all unlistenable, either. While there are a few moments on Another Awkward Silence which fall prey to the usual conventions, most of the music is quite diverse and attractive. Which brings up the big question: what could Shane Hunt do on a full-length? You win this round, acoustic guitar. But keep your nose clean. — Brett Emerson
July 1, 2010 // 7
8// July 1, 2010
Second Supper
MUSIC
music directory // July 2 to July 15 fridaY,
July 2
fridaY,
Pearl Street Brewery // 1401 St. Andrew St.
Nighthawks Tap // 401 S. Third St. The B.A.R. Band (classic rock) •10 p.m.
Don Harvey (songwriter) • 5 p.m. Popcorn Tavern // 308 S. Fourth St. Natives of the New Dawn (soul/hiphop/reggae/rock) •10 p.m.
Pearl Street Brewery // 1401 St. Andrew St.
Cheech & Chubba (Cheeba) • 5 p.m. piggy's blues lounge // 501 Front St. S. Pappa Roxy (blues) • 8 p.m.
saturdaY,
Popcorn Tavern // 308 S. Fourth St. Fayme Rochelle & The Waxwings (old timey string band) • 10 p.m. Pump House // 119 King St. Steven Marking’s "I’ve Known Rivers" (multimedia folk concert) • 7 p.m. The bodega // 122 4th St. Cheech & Chubba (Cheeba) • 9 p.m. The Joint // 324 Jay St. The Soapbox Project (pop) • 10 p.m. The Root Note // 114 4th St. S. Saints & Sailors, La Poema, Radiator Grrls (pop rock) • 8:30 p.m.
saturdaY,
July 3
There's a bevy of good music coming through town these next two weeks, but perhaps the most interesting ensemble is a Los Angeles-by-way-of-Detroit sextet called Natives of the New Dawn. A unabashed amalgamation of American music, the band brands itself "a bastard love child of Led Zeppelin, A Tribe Called Quest, and Sly & the Family Stone," which is pretty fine pedigree by our standards. Natives of the New Dawn is scheduled to play the Popcorn Tavern on Friday, July 9, beginning at 10 p.m. Featuring an MC and nimble musicians, they are supposed to an impressive live act, though their set at the Popcorn is their La Crosse debut. So check it out if you want to hear something fresh, or if you just want to shake your booty.
sundaY,
July 4
wednesdaY,
July 7
Popcorn Tavern // 308 S. Fourth St. Roster McCabe (party jams) • 10 p.m.
bandshell // Riverside Park La Crosse Concert Band • 7:30 p.m.
The Joint // 324 Jay St. Adam Palm & Brownie (Palm Sunday in the beer garden) • 4 p.m.
Del’s Bar // 229 Third St. Cheech (solo) • 10 p.m.
mondaY,
July 5
Popcorn Tavern // 308 S. Fourth St. Open Jam • 10 p.m. recovery room // 901 7th St. S. Kin Pickin’ (open jam) • 10 p.m.
Nighthawks Tap // 401 S. Third St. The B.A.R. Band (classic rock) •10 p.m.
thursday,
piggy's blues lounge // 501 Front St. S. Pappa Roxy (blues) • 8 p.m. Popcorn Tavern // 308 S. Fourth St. The Super Deece Band, Chuff (rock) • 10 p.m. The Joint // 324 Jay St. Moon Boot Posse (SoCal fusion) • 10 p.m.
July 10
FOX HOLLOW // N3287 HIGHWAY OA. The Whistlejacks, The Troubadogs (outdoor concert) • 4:30 p.m.
Huck Finn's // 127 Marina Drive Flashback (Other Side of the River Del’s Bar // 229 Third St. Fest) • 8 p.m. Cheech & Chubba’s Open Jam • 10 p.m.
Past times Tavern // 2658 George St. The Fabulous Baloney Skins (The Loss of Independence Party) • 2 p.m.
July 9
Popcorn Tavern // 308 S. Fourth St. Shawn's "Old Folks" Open jam • 10 p.m.
The Warehouse // 324 Pearl St. Blank Image, Before We Fall, Miss August, Cain And Abel, Within New Hope (pop punk) • 6 p.m.
tuesdaY,
July 6
Popcorn Tavern // 308 S. Fourth St. Dave Orr's Open Jam • 10 p.m.
July 8
Del’s Bar // 229 Third St. Brownie’s Recipe (jam) • 10 p.m. Popcorn Tavern // 308 S. Fourth St. This Could Be The Day (rock) • 10 p.m. Southside comm. center // 1300 S. Sixth St.
A Note Above (barbershop quartet) • 7p.m. The Starlite Lounge // 222 Pearl St. Kies and Kompanie (jazz) • 5 p.m.
Popcorn Tavern // 308 S. Fourth St. Cheech & The Feelin' Band (pop) • 10 p.m.
sundaY,
July 11
Popcorn Tavern // 308 S. Fourth St. Som’n Jazz (jazz) • 10 p.m. The Joint // 324 Jay St. Adam Palm & Cheech (Palm Sunday in the beer garden) • 4 p.m.
mondaY,
July 12
Popcorn Tavern // 308 S. Fourth St. Shawn's "Cops & Robbers" jam • 10 p.m.
wednesdaY,
July 14
bandshell // Riverside Park La Crosse Concert Band • 7:30 p.m. Del’s Bar // 229 Third St. Kokopelliens (jamgrass) • 10 p.m.
thursday,
July 8
Del’s Bar // 229 Third St. Adam Palm (musician) • 10 p.m. Southside comm. center // 1300 S. Sixth St.
Orrico Bros. (acoustic) • 7p.m.
Second Supper
The Beer Review Island Wheat Capital Brewery Middleton, Wisconsin This week marks the dramatic conclusion of Canned Beer Month [sic], a
six-week adventure in aluminum packaging that provided me some tasty insights but certainly has run its course. I started this series to highlight craft beers you can bring to the beach, music festivals or other places where glass is not allowed, but after a month and a half the pickin’s in the local grocery stores are starting to get a little thin. That point was driven home tonight when I attempted to save this Capital Island Wheat review on my computer and discovered that I had previously trashed the beer when it was first released in 2008. Since I generally dislike wheat beers, it’s not surprising that I panned a beer and forgot about it, but it does offer a unique case study in cans vs. bottles. The first time I tried Island Wheat, my assessment was rather brutal: “It seems marketed to the guy that wants to look cool when the beverage cart rolls up on the golf course but still
clings to that empty, cheap flavor that only a macrobrew can provide.” Now after two years of developing my professional palette, I can say that the Island Wheat isn’t quite that bad — but it’s not especially good either. The Island Wheat can is a striking blue color, which is nice because it masks the cloudy, carbonated beverage that I had previously compared to Mt. Dew. The aroma is actually quite excellent with a big wheat body, some honey sweetness and faint wisps of dried hay. After a two-year absence, my taste buds for this beer have certainly grown fonder. It has a big wheat flavor with some sugar and yeast and just a trace of citrus. But while I’ve tried a lot of wheat beers that tasted worse, rarely have I experienced any craft beer whose flavor is more empty. The alcohol content rings in at 4.2 percent ABV, which is in the sub-
The Best Food & Drink Specials in Town LOCATION
July 1, 2010 // 9
YOUR GUIDE TO CONSUMPTION
SUNDAY
Miller Lite range. That makes this beer almost paradoxical, as consuming it brings out an excellent taste and aroma, Appearance: 5 but it’s almost as if you’re not drinking Aroma: 8 anything at all. Now that it’s in a can, Taste: 7 the Island Wheat is the quintessential Mouthfeel: 3 “lawnmower beer.” It’s great for guzDrinkability: 7 zling, especially in the summer sun, but there comes a Total: 30 time when you can only drink so much of it and all you want is a nice a bottle of strong ale. Now which one shall I review first? — Adam Bissen
To advertise here, call (608) 782-7001 or e-mail us at advertising@secondsupper.com.
MONDAY
TUESDAY
WEDNESDAY
THURSDAY
FRIDAY
SATURDAY
ARENA
Midwest Poker League 7 p.m.
Closed
Wyld Wednesday: $2 Jumbo UV, mixers $1.50 Coronas
Ladies' Night, $5 Long Island pitchers
$1 Cherry Bombs, $1 Keystone Light silos
$1 Cherry Bombs, $1 Keystone Light silos
BODEGA BREW PUB
$2 BBQ Pork Sliders
2-Fers, Buy any regularly priced food item and get one of equal or lesser value for free
$2.50 Coors vs. Keystone pitchers. All specials 9 p.m. to close
AUC2D: $5, domestic taps, rail mix- 10-cent wings, $1 Miller High Life ers, Long Islands. All specials 9 p.m. bottles, $1.50 rail mixers; $2.50 call to close drinks. All specials 9 p.m. to close.
107 3rd St. S. 782-1883 122 4th St. 782-0677
BROTHERS
Closed
306 Pearl St. 784-0522
FEATURES
Free beer 5:30-6:30; Free wings 7:30- Taco buffet 11-2; 8:30, Free bowling after 9 $1 Pabst bottles and $1 bowling after 9
W3923 State Highway 16 786-9000
HOWIE’S
Fish Tacos: 1 / $2.50, 2 / $5.00, 3 / $6.50. AUC2D: $5, domestic taps, rail mixers and Long Islands. Wristband Night: $2.50 SoCo & Jack. All specials 9 p.m. to close.
$3 3 Olives mixers, $3 Mojitos, $2 $3 Bacardi mixers, $3 Mojitos, $2 Cherry Bombs, $1 Bazooka Joe's; Cherry bombs, $1 Bazooka Joe's. FAC: $3 domestic pitchers, micro/ All specials 9 p.m. to close. import taps, anything that pours. 4-9 p.m.
All you care to eat pizza buffet, 11-2
All you care to eat fish fry 4-10; unlimited Glow-N-Bowl $9.99
Prime rib dinner 4-10; unlimited Glow-N-Bowl $9.99 9 p.m. to close: $2 Bacardi mixers, $2 domestic pints, $1.50 shots blackberry brandy
1125 La Crosse St. 784-7400
Happy hour 4 to 9 p.m.; 9 p.m. to 9 p.m. to close: $3.50 domestic 9 p.m. to close: $1 rails, $2.50 pitch- $5 all you can drink close: Night Before Class - $3 pitch- pitchers ers, beer pong ers of the beast
9 p.m. to close: $1.25 rails, $1.75 bottles/cans
9 p.m. to close: $2 Captain mixers, $2 bottles/cans, $3 Jager bombs
IMPULSE
Closed
Closed
Karaoke 9 p.m.-Close; Happy Hour daily 5-8
Wine & martini night; Happy Hour daily 5-8
18+ night (1st and 3rd Thursday of each month); Happy Hour daily 5-8
$25 open bar package, 11 p.m. to Happy Hour daily 5-8 close: domestic/import beer, rail, call drinks, martinis; Happy Hour daily 5-8
JB’S SPEAKEASY
$1.75 domestic bottles
SIN Night
$1.75 domestic bottles
Happy Hour 5 to 7 p.m.
Happy Hour 5 to 7 p.m.
Happy Hour 5 to 7 p.m.
$1.79 burger (after 8 p.m.) Breakfast 8 a.m. to 2 p.m.
Hat Night: Buy 1 drink, get 1 free w/ Rail drinks $2 (4:30 to close); Buckets of beer $10, Boston Bobby's Margaritas $4 (Straw, rasp, mango, hat (4:30 to close); $1.50 chili dogs After 8 p.m. specials: $5 skewer of drummies 10 for $2 (4:30 to close), peach and reg); After 8 p.m. specials: (after 8 p.m.) shrimp,l $1.79 burger, $1.50 chili dogs $1.79 burger (after 8 p.m.) $5 skewer of shrimp, $1.79 burger
214 Main St. 782-6010
Happy Hour 5 to 7 p.m.
717 Rose St. 796-1161
SCHMIDTY’S 3119 State Road 788-5110
SLOOPY'S ALMA MATER 163 Copeland Ave. 785-0245
SPORTS NUT
$2 can beer (2-6 p.m.) $11 buckets of beers (6-close)
$2 can beer (2-6 p.m.) 12" pizza: $8.99 up to 5 toppings (4-close)
Wings, Wings, Wings... $2 off 14: Ladies night, 2 for 1 drinks (6-close), pizza, $2 can beer (2-6 p.m.) $2 can beer (2-6 p.m.)
Buck Burgers
Tacos $1.25
15-cent wings
Breakfast 8 a.m. to 2 p.m.
Friday Fish, $2 can beer (2-6)
$8.99 12-ounce T-bone
2 for 1 pints/pitches w/ student ID over 21 15-cent wings
801 Rose St. 784-1811
THE LIBRARY
Sunday Fun Day - Wristband Night
Half price tequilla, $1 domestic taps Karaoke, $2 Double rails and all Beer Pong Tourney and and rails bottles; $3 Double call drinks wristband night
123 3rd St. 784-8020
TOP SHOTS
$3 Bacardi mixers, $3 Jumbo Long Island Iced Teas
$3 Jumbo Long Island Iced Teas, $3 3 Olives mixers $5 Miller/Bud Light Pitchers, $2.25 Leinies Bottles (7-1AM)
137 4th St. 782-6622
$5 Pitchers/$2 bottles of Miller $1.75 Miller/Bud Light Taps, $2.25 $1.75 Rails, $1.50 Domestic Taps, $2 domestic bottles, $2.50 Skyy/ products (11-4pm) MIcro/Craft Taps, $2.50 Cherry Bombs $3.50 Jager Bombs Absolut mixers, $2 Dr. shots $2 Corona Bottles, $2 Kilo Kai Mixers (7-1AM) (7-1AM) (7-1am) , $3 Bloodys (7-1AM)
5 Domestic Bottles for $10, $5 $2 Captain Mixers, $2. Long Island Micro/Import Bottles $11.50, $7 Mixers, $3 Effen Vodka Mixers (7Micro/Craft Pitchers (7-1AM) 1AM)
TRAIN STATION BBQ
Ask for great eats
11 a.m. to 3 p.m., Barn burner $7.95; 4 to 9 p.m., Hobo dinner (serves two) $30.95
WHO'S ON THIRD
Happy Hour until 10 p.m. $1.50 domestic taps, $2 rails from 10 to close
601 St. Andrew St. 781-0005 126 3rd St. N. 782-9467
$1 taps of PBR, $1 rails
11 a.m. to 3 p.m., extra side with sandwich; 4 to 9 p.m., $1 off rib dinner
Special varies
11 a.m. to 3 p.m., Chicken on fire One-half chicken three bones $7.95; 4 to 9 p.m., Bones and bris- $12.95 kets $13.95
$3 call doubles, $2 Bud products
Ladies' Night: $2 top shelf, $1 Pink $8.50 Fish Bowls, $2 Miller products $1 off Three Olives, $2 domestic taps Tacos Everyone: $2.50 bombs, $2 taps, $3 Jack/Captain doubles
10// July 1, 2010
Second Supper
DIVERSIONS
Maze Efflux
"Rumble in the bowl" Part of this unbalanced breakfast
By Erich Boldt By Matt Jones
Have an opinion?
Sudoku
Answers on Page 11
Send your letters to the editor to Second Supper, 614 Main St., La Crosse, WI 54601 or by e-mail to editor@secondsupper.com. Letters should be signed and include phone number for verification purposes. Please limit letters to no more than 300 words. Second Supper reserves the right to edit letters for length, clarity and grammar. For more information, call (608) 782-7001.
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ACROSS 1 Run ___ of (violate) 6 Turns in the fridge 10 "I love," in Latin 13 She came between Hillary and Michelle 14 Napkin fold 16 Turn down 17 Cereal for people with good fortune during a fictional "Simpsons" month? 19 Pilot's heading: abbr. 20 Roasting for a long time? 21 Cereal that's really healthy, but takes forever to pass? 23 Nonclerical 25 Env. attachment 26 Likely (to) 29 One of the Osmonds 32 Drug bust 35 Cereal that's shockingly good? 38 He's always got a
court date 39 Little bits 40 Award won by Taylor Swift in 2009 41 "Scenes from ___" (1991 Bette Midler film) 42 Pasta topping 43 Cereal eaten mainly by important students? 45 "That's delicious" 46 Book in the Septimus Heap series 47 Michigan's ___ Canals 48 Waikiki island 50 PBS "Mystery" host Diana 53 With 62-across, cereal that sounds like a bad accident between fighting ermines? 57 Show showers 61 Honorific poem 62 See 53-across 64 ___ carte 65 Therefore
Answers to June 24 puzzle Movie madness: Be kind, can't rewind
66 "___ tell you something..." 67 Prefix meaning "wood" 68 Political cartoonist Ted 69 Feeds the hogs DOWN 1 "It's ___ ever wanted!" 2 Half-human, half-goat creature 3 Pained expression 4 "Family Matters" annoyer 5 Girl in an Eric Clapton song 6 Tachometer stat 7 Minnesota's St. ___ College 8 Actress Garr 9 Northern California newspaper, slangily 10 Yosemite photographer 11 Paste for Japanese soups 12 Farm beasts 15 "Back ___" (2005 song by Mike Jones) 18 Some cigs 22 "Keep on Truckin'" cartoonist 24 Like some tunes 26 Cause fought by the Gray Panthers 27 Tournament type 28 Record-setting actress at the 1974 Oscars 30 Gossipy bit 31 More pointless
33 Cold home heated by a qulliq 34 AC ___ (auto parts manufacturer) 36 Classic game with power pellets 37 End of many languages 38 He preceded and followed Conan 44 Historic name in supercomputers 46 Fort where the Civil War started 49 Heavenly ___ (ice cream flavor) 51 Word on some doors at school 52 "Oliver Twist" food 53 Cajole 54 How some sit about 55 Charlie Chaplin wife O'Neill 56 Table salt, to chemists 58 Prefix meaning "within" 59 Patrol in the provinces, for short 60 "___ the Sheriff" (1980s Suzanne Somers sitcom) 63 ___ Aviv, Israel For answers, call (900) 226-2800, 99 cents per minute. Or to bill to a credit card, call (800) 655-6549. Reference puzzle #0473.
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Second Supper
July 1, 2010 // 11
THE LAST WORD go to the store without you.”
The ADviCe GODDess By Amy Alkon amy.alkon@secondsupper.com The woman who mistook her sinkhole for a boyfriend I’m thinking of postponing my wedding. My fiance seems incapable of being apart from me. We dated long distance, so I didn’t realize the extent of his clinginess until we moved in together. If I want some “me time,” he gets offended. If I don’t stand or sit next to him or cuddle with him, he claims I don’t like him. If I eat lunch with a friend instead of him (as I do daily), he’s upset. Even when we spend time with my family, there are repercussions (moping and drama when we get home). I do try to take his upbringing into consideration. His parents divorced when he was 9, and neither wants much to do with him or his brother. Initially, I found his behavior sweet. ... as in, “How cute that my fiance wants to come with me to the grocery store or to buy shoes,” but now I’m thinking, “Hey, Crazy, calm down, I’ll see you tonight, and I can
— Smothered Even an emotionally together person can feel a little pang when their partner’s going away for a time — like, to Europe for a week, not to Rite-Aid for a box of tampons. Other women betray their partners by having illicit sex. You only have to have illicit lunch (eat a burger with somebody who isn’t him). Grab a little alone time, and it’s like you’re slutting around on him — with yourself. For him and his unresolved issues, every day is the fi rst day of nursery school: “Mommeeee, don’t leave meee!” On the plus side, he’s probably potty-trained to the point where he wears boxers instead of Huggies Pull-Ups. You might end up giving birth to a clingy child, but you sure shouldn’t marry one. In a healthy relationship, two fully functioning adults come together; they aren’t bolted together. They stay together because they love each other — meaning they respect and admire each other, have more fun together, and are better together than alone. What you have isn’t love, but a guy dressing up pathological need in a love suit and manipulating you with cuddlywuddly coerciveness: “Just stay and snuggle — or I’ll pout till the end of time.” You’ve got a choice: live with constant confl ict or avoid seeing your family and friends — or doing anything that’ll trigger his abandonment issues, like going to the mailbox or the
ladies’ room. Hang with crazy long enough, and it can start to seem normal — to the point where you’re only thinking of postponing your wedding instead of mapping out routes to fl ee. Even if your fi ance wanted to change (and it seems he hasn’t yet been motivated), he isn’t going to become a full, independent person in six months or a year. It’s probably tempting to try to make it work and make allowances for his past, but just picture yourself once his neediness has not only the force of habit from your putting up with it, but a state license behind it. Sure, you can always get divorced — that is, if you can fi gure out the combination to get out the front door.
Single trite female
In February, I discovered my girlfriend was cheating on me with her millionaire ex. I told him, and he told her to beat it. She tried to patch things up with him, but couldn’t, and came back to me two months ago, saying she loves me and wants to marry me. But I’ve started catching her in lies again. For example, she said she’d be studying at home, but she wasn’t answering her phone (rare for her). I dropped by at 10, and she wasn’t there. This was just two days after she took me to dinner and told me, “One day the world will be ours!” What gives? What alternatives do I have besides ending it?
board. You’d only need to hear a guy talk like a motivational poster — “Good is its own reward!” “Tomorrow is a brand new day!” — and you’d campaign for the release of some serial killer who kept all his dates in jars in his basement. Of course you want to believe your girlfriend’s “One day the world will be ours!” but she has yet to show herself to be ethical, and it’s wildly unlikely she’ll become ethical now. What alternatives do you have besides ending it? Well, you could stick around and be lied to, cheated on and placated with aphorisms: “Our love is here to stay!” (As long as you don’t call or come by after 10.) “Our love is like a rose!” Well, OK, we’ll give her that one — in that it has something in common with getting stuck with a thorn, coming down with necrotizing fasciitis, and losing an arm.
Sudoku
— Scammed
Good thing you’re not on the parole
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top shots joke of the week What did the cannibal do after he dumped his girlfriend?
Wiped his butt
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12// July 1, 2010
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