Second Supper

INSIDE: CHECK OUT THE BEST FOOD AND DRINK SPECIALS IN TOWN • PAGE 9

La Crosse's Free Press

PAINTING BY MATT DUCKETT

VOLUME 10, NO. 31 | AUGUST 19, 2010

Fantasyland What you need to know for a successful draft day Page 5 PLUS: SOCIAL NETWORKING • PAGE 5 | THE MAJAK MIXTAPE • PAGE 7 | the ADVICE GODDESS • PAGE 11

2// August 19, 2010

Second Supper

Second Supper

Things To Do Invest heavily in sand dollars

The Top

Performers at 2010 Gathering of the Juggalos 1. Method Man & Redman 2. Slick Rick 3. Gallagher 4. Coolio 5. Warren G 6. Tom Green 7. Insane Clown Posse Fantasy fantasy leagues 1. Foosball 2. Midterm elections 3. WWE 4. Fishing derbies 5. Celebrity breakdowns 6. Pearl Jam tour 7. Top Chef

August 19, 2010 // 3

FIRST THINGS FIRST

Feel the sand between your toes again this weekend at CenturyLink’s Sand on the Riverfront Friday and Saturday, Aug. 20-21, at Riverside Park in downtown La Crosse. This year’s theme is Adventure in Candyland. Events include sand sculpting, a car show and a performance by West Salem’s Jazz Band. Sand dollars sell for $1 each or 12 for $10 to participate in the games and activities. Sand dollars also can be used to vote for your favorite sand sculptures or car show entrants. A “People’s Choice” award will be given to the team collecting the most sand dollars. Sand dollar sales support programming that Riverfront provides for people with disabilities. Founded in La Crosse in 1977, Riverfront is a private, nonprofit organization helping over 2,300 people with disabilities. For information and a full schedule of events, check out www.riverfront.org.

1

Appreciate role of music in history

“Cha Cha Change” is the theme of a musical revue at 7:30 p.m. Friday, Aug. 20, and Sunday, Aug. 22, at The Pump House Regional Arts Center, 119 King St. The revue also will be presented Aug. 27 and Aug. 29. American Voices: Words and Music for Change will present legendary songs that highlighted change in the U.S., such as “Give Peace a Chance” and “We Shall Overcome.” The musical revue features songs and words that have changed the landscape of American life. Tickets are $15 for members and students ($24 for both shows), $18 nonmembers ($30 for both shows), and $21 day of show. Call (608) 785-1434 or visit www.thepumphouse.org to order tickets.

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Add T.U.G.G.'s new CD to your collection

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Local band T.U.G.G is hosting its Reggae on the River CD release party from 7 to 11 p.m. Saturday, Aug. 21, at Huck Finn’s on French Island. This sweet gig is free and open to all ages. For more information, visit www.TUGGMUSIC.com. Be sure to head over the Black River bridge to reap these sweet sounds.

Cheer "Lefty" and its all-star cast “Waiting For Lefty” will be presented Thursday, Aug. 19, Saturday, Aug. 21, and Sunday, Aug. 22, at The Pump House Regional Arts Center, 119 King St. The play captures the spirit of a labor union battle among New York cab drivers and their families in 1930s New York. The cast includes an all-star team drawn from La Crosse's best actors from the La Crosse Community Theater, University of Wisconsin– La Crosse, Viterbo University and the Pump House. Tickets are $15 for members, $18 for nonmembers and $21 day of show. For information, contact the Pump House at (608) 7851434 or online at www.thepumphouse.org. Additional performances are scheduled Aug. 26 and Aug. 28.

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Support the ecopark

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Bump, set and spike it up at the Spikers for Hikers volleyball tournament from 9 a.m. to 6 p.m. Saturday, Aug. 28, at Alpine Inn, W5717 Bliss Road. Sponsored by the Alpine Inn and Miller Lite, tournament proceeds benefit Myrick Hixon EcoPark. The team entry fee is $100. All team members will receive a $25 membership to the EcoPark and a T-shirt. There will be door prizes awarded throughout the event. For more info, e-mail info@mhecopark.org or send your check and team information to MHEP, 789 Myrick Park Drive, La Crosse, WI 54601.

4// August 19, 2010

Second Supper

COMMENTARY

Great MUSIC & fun!

August 27-29 UW-L Campus

TWO DAYS OF: Music, dance, crafts crafts, ethnic foods plus THREE Evening Concerts

FEATURING The Hobo Nephews of Uncle Frank John Gorka Ellis Eliza Gilkyson Cheryl Wheeler Claudia Schmidt Hot Sauce Mustard’s Retreat Greg Greenway ¡Que Flavor!

Muddy Flats ts and the Hep Cats

The WisPolitics.com Week in Review STocK rEPorT

rISInG Obama presence

President Obama's administration continues making its presence felt in Wisconsin.

Obama won a double-digit victory here in 2008, but his poll numbers have dropped dramatically. Some say that's why we've been seeing a parade of Obama offi cials this election year. Last week it was EPA administrator Lisa Jackson and AG Eric Holder. The week before it was DOT secretary Ray LaHood.

Veep Joe Biden was in the state recently to help Russ Feingold raise money for his Senate re-election bid. And Obama himself was in Milwaukee on Aug. 16 to help guv candidate Tom Barrett and the state Dem Party raise money.

mIXEd Paul Ryan

www.greatriverfolkfest.org Find us on Facebook

The Janesville Republican is the subject of back-to-back glowing profi les in the Washington Post and New York Times as he continues to garner attention for his plan to cut the federal defi cit and overhaul entitlement programs. But he’s also having a hard time getting fellow Republicans to sign onto his plan, which is getting more critical scrutiny from national pundits. Ryan continues to collect praise in conservative circles for his willingness to take a stand and putting his name behind a detailed plan. Dems, however, continue to paint Ryan's plan as the death knell for certain federal programs.

They point to criticism like Paul Krugman’s -- the liberal economist-columnist called the plan a fraud, said the savings are a sham and declared the debt reductions not meaningful -- as the kind of scrutiny he can expect if he seeks higher offi ce.

faLLInG Jeff Wood

The embattled lawmaker nixes a plea deal to settle one of his three OWI arrests in less than a year, saying he didn't understand what was in it. And his lawyer withdraws from his case without explaining why. Still, Wood says after a Monroe Co. court hearing that things "have improved quite a bit" now that he's sober. Having already spent time in jail for one arrest, Wood says he's attending Alcoholics Anonymous meetings while he tries to resolve the other two cases.

He'll represent himself in the case pending in Monroe County unless he can't work out a deal and has to go to trial. He also faces a case in Marathon County. Wood, the Republican turned independent, is pretty much an afterthought to most insiders these days.

Told that his lawyer has withdrawn from his case, one insider jokes, "Would you want to be Jeff Wood's attorney?"

ThaT'S dEBaTaBLE

Editor's Note: WisOpinion.com has asked two veterans of Wisconsin policy and politics, Scot Ross of One Wisconsin Now and Brian Fraley of the John K. MacIver Institute for Public Policy, to engage in weekly exchanges on a topic of their choosing. This week they debate the Government Accountability Board's rules on electionrelated speech.

corporate special interests. One Wisconsin Now talks about issues and we have a right to do that. Simple as that. And the GAB was absolutely wrong in telling us that what we do is the same as telling people who they should vote for or against. And they are wrong for trying prohibit and chill speech through this overbroad rule.

Scot Ross: Brian, lo these many weeks you and I have volleyed back and forth on issues facing Wisconsin, we’ve had few opportunities where we see eye to eye on an issue.

And as they note the precipitous drop in temperature in Hades, it looks like in some part we agree on one thing: the state Government Accountability Board’s recent rule regulating free speech by organizations is a substantial threat to our cherished First Amendment.

Fraley: The arbitrary deadline is particularly baffl ing. The work of state government does not come to a complete stop 60 days prior to an election date. The public has a fundamental right to know what its government is up to and debate these proposals in the public square.

The public interest is not served by such chilling prohibitions like the GAB proposed.

Brian Fraley: Yes, like the broken clock that is right twice a day, you are correct in this instance. The rule promulgated by the GAB is outrageous and dangerous. I appreciate the GAB said they won't enforce the rule, even though the federal judge has yet to sign off on the stipulation. But pardon me if I'm not comfortable with a nod, nod, wink, wink agreement. The rule is still in place. Without enabling legislation, the GAB has established a time period wherein speech discussing a certain subsection of elected offi cials must fi rst be scrutinized by the state. Unelected bureaucrats should not fear — and certainly should not curtail — the discussion of ideas nor interfere with free speech.

Ross: I can tell you (and any potential likeminded donors who want to support OWN's efforts) One Wisconsin Now believes strong government regulation must be in place to protect us from the threats inherent in a free-market system — a system dominated by

Ross: The GAB’s relenting on this rule was a huge victory for free speech. Board members recognized they did not have the right to do what they did. This will likely not be the last free speech fi ght we see when improper regulations are put on the ability of citizens to talk about important issues facing the state.

But for now, the First Amendment won.

Fraley: Scot, while I agree the GAB’s backtracking is a victory, I still do not trust them.

I believe the entity has been structured in such away as to make it accountable only to those bold enough to spend resources to challenge the board's authority in the courts.

You know, there have been countless times I wish you would just put a cork in it. But I’ll be damned if the state should be able to exert unconstitutional authority to silence you, me or anyone. As long as you honor the slander and libel laws, you have the right to be wrong. I share your relief, for now, but I fear the battle for our rights has only begun. As long as the GAB is structured the way it is, they’ll be back, trying to lord over those with whom they disagree.

nEWS In BrIEf UW System wants $22.6 million to increase enrollment

The UW System wants an extra $22.6 million from the state to boost undergraduate enrollment by more than 5,900 students.

The proposal is part of a budget request that the UW Board of Regents has to approve. It also includes a request for $20.8 million to restore a 2 percent pay increase for non-represented UW staff that was rescinded for the current biennial budget, $10.5 million to offset tuition increases for students with fi nancial need and $10 million to continue funding economic development and research initiatives at UW-Milwaukee.

The total cost for new initiatives in the budget proposal stands at $83.6 million, according to numbers compiled by UW staff.

That includes $66.2 million in state aid, an increase of about 5.5 percent, and $17.4 million in tuition and fees.

The state faces a budget shortfall in the next biennium that currently stands at $2.5 billion.

UW spokesman David Giroux the new programs' total projected cost is about one-

third of the system's original proposal.

"We realized that that was too big a price tag for the state at this time," Giroux said.

Tribal gaming profits dip over last few years

Tribal gaming profi ts in Wisconsin decreased by more than $50 million from 2007 to 2009, according to a Legislative Audit Bureau report.

The audit says the state's 27 casinos — operated by 11 tribes — earned $543.4 million in profi ts 2009 after reporting profi ts of $599.5 million two years earlier. For the period from 2007-2009, tribal gaming revenue from all sources totaled about $1.3 billion each year.

Revenue to the state from Indian gaming, however, increased dramatically, from $52 million in FY 2006-2007 to $124 million in FY 2008-2009. Auditors attributed the bulk of that increase to a $60 million onetime payment from the Ho-Chunk Nation under the state-tribal compact agreement signed in September 2008.

Second Supper

COMMUNITY

Supper's guide to fantasy football

Social Networking namE and aGE: Emily Burton, 20

WanT To havE dInnEr WITh? Audrey Hepburn TELL uS a JoKE: Knock knock. Who’s there? F***. F*** who? F*** you.

By Nate Willer and Adam Bissen editor@secondsupper.com

draft day tips

WhErE WErE you Born? Kansas City, Missouri

Living in a fantasy

Here are a few helpful hints to prepare for a live draft.

currEnT JoB: Subway sandwich artist

ith August now halfway gone, it’s time to kickoff America’s modern pastime: football. But since most of us are beyond our playing days and prefer to spend our Sundays on the couch in front of high-defi nition televisions, our true pastime is probably fantasy football.

According to the Fantasy Sports Trade Association, more than 27 million Americans will participate in fantasy leagues this year, with football by far the most popular format.

For those unfamiliar, fantasy football players “draft” a team of current NFLers and maintain a roster throughout the season.

The better a pro performs in certain statistical categories, the more points a team “owner” accumulates in weekly matchups against other fantasy opponents.

Leave it to a group of bored newspaper writers to invent such an idiosyncratic hobby. The fantasy football genesis dates to 1962, when two Oakland Raiders beat writers accompanied team offi cials on a road trip and brainstormed the game on a rainy night in a Manhattan hotel room, according to an article in the San Francisco Chronicle.

Spurred by the growth of the Internet and computer statical analysis, today fantasy football is a multibillion-dollar industry, one where employees spend an average of 50 minutes per work week checking stats and updating rosters, causing businesses to lose an estimated $18.7 billion over the NFL season.

But before you can experience the joy of playing fantasy football, fi rst you have to hold a draft. Several local businesses offer draft party specials to provide an open space and refreshments to wile away the number crunching. “Oh, yeah absolutely it gets people in here,” said Adam Weissenberger, owner of Sloopy’s Alma Mater. “This way nobody has to clean up and they can order any kind of drink that they want.” (There are also draft parties at Hooters, but the company has a strict “no media” policy, and an investigation failed to unearth the details.)

So before you gather around a barroom table or a laptop computer or a Las Vegas suite for your fantasy football draft, heed these Second Supper tips for success in 2010.

1

drEam JoB: Cooking people pretty food.

W

Season tips

T

he best tip for prolonged success is to follow your team. Make sure you have a full roster each week, and make sure your best performers are on the fi eld. If one of your players is hurt, you can drop him and pick up a new one. Through every season there are players that have fantastic games one week and then crap the bed the next, so pay attention to match-ups and injuries.

And read what the experts have to say about players and games. You could get NFL Network and watch every game and every player, but reading what the folks who get paid to watch all the games have to say is easier and usually more rewarding.

Make a list of your top 100 players. You can print one from a website (like nfl . com or espn.com) and make changes to it or compile your own. We recommend printing a list and then modifying it. Making your own is quite tedious.

2 3

Pick a running back fi rst. Getting an elite back can elevate your team.

Don’t waste a higher pick on a defense or a kicker. Those are best picked up and dropped from week to week depending on weekly match-ups.

4

Stick to your top 100 list and balance your team. In most leagues, you should have two QBs, four RBs, four WRs, one TE, one kicker and one defense.

nate & adam's draft Board

H

ere's our list of the top 15 players, which should easily get you through most leagues' fi rst round: 1. Chris Johnson (RB, Titans): With 2,006 yards on the ground and another 500 receiving in ’09, Johnson is a Fantasy must-have.

2. Adrian Petterson (RB, Vikings): His 18 TDs topped the league last year, but he has some problems holding onto the ball.

3. Maurice Jones-Drew (RB, Jaguars): Found the endzone 16 times last year and rushed for over 1,300 yards.

4. Ray Rice (RB, Ravens): Only had 8 TDs last year but with 1,339 yards rushing and 702 receiving, he is a dual threat.

5. Aaron Rodgers (QB, Packers): We could gush for hours about Rodgers, ’09’s No. 2 in Fantasy points behind Chris Johnson.

6. Frank Gore (RB, 49ers): If he stays healthy, could have a 2,000 total-yard season.

7. Michael Turner (RB, Falcons): Missed 6 games in ’09 but still managed to score 10 TDs and rack up nearly 900 yards.

8. Drew Brees (QB, Saints): Helming the most explosive offense in the league leads to big fantasy numbers.

9. Andre Johnson (WR, Texans): Johnson had almost 1,600 yards receiving and 11 scores last year; he did the same in ’08.

10. Steven Jackson (RB, Rams): Jackson is the hardest working back in the NFL, but you’d have to be if you played for the Rams.

11. Peyton Manning (QB, Colts): Consistently throws for more than 4,000 yards and 25 TDs. 12. DeAngelo Williams (RB, Panthers): Missed 5 games last year with an ankle injury but had off-season surgery and should break 1,000 yards on the ground.

13. Reggie Wayne (WR, Colts): Manning’s go-to guy and for good reason. Had 1,200+ yards and 10 scores in ’09.

14. Rashard Mendenhall (RB, Steelers): After a disastrous rookie season, Mendenhall established himself as the Steelers lead back.

15. Randy Moss (WR, Patriots): Moss was tied for most TDs last year with 13 and had 1,200+ yards, with a healthy Brady at QB look for more of the same.

August 19, 2010 // 5

LaST ThInG you GooGLEd: Quillins If you couLd LIvE anyWhErE In ThE WorLd, WhErE WouLd IT BE? I enjoy the Midwest.

WhaT IS SomEThInG you WanT To do BEforE you dIE: Go to Iceland

WhaT'S ThE LaST ThInG you BouGhT? DQ WhaT'S In your PocKET rIGhT noW?: No pockets If a GEnIE GranTEd you onE WISh, WhaT WouLd you aSK for? Super powers fIrST concErT you WEnT To: Godsmack, when I was 14.

WhaT IS your favorITE ParT of SEcond SuPPEr? Social Networking hoW do you KnoW chLoE (LaST WEEK'S InTErvIEW)? Best friends — Compiled by Shuggypop Jackson. shuggypop.jackson@secondsupper.com

cELEBrITy cruSh: Megan Fox WhaT IS your BEvEraGE of choIcE? Water WhaT BooK arE you currEnTLy rEadInG? "The Little Book of Bad Taste" TELL uS your GuILTIEST PLEaSurE: Justin Bieber WhaT IS your BIGGEST PET PEEvE? Human beings WhaT onE PErSon, aLIvE or dEad, WouLd you

614 Main St., La Crosse, WI 54601 Phone: (608) 782-7001 Online: secondsupper.com Publisher: Roger Bartel roger.bartel@secondsupper.com Editor in Chief: Adam Bissen adam.bissen@secondsupper.com Student Editor: Emily Faeth emily.faeth@secondsupper.com

6// August 19, 2010

The ArtS Review Bizarro Masterpiece Theatre Medium: Film Film: Wet Hot American Summer (2001) Director: David Wain Starring: Janeane Garofalo, David Hyde Pierce, Paul Rudd Written by: David Wain, Michael Showalter

With summer coming to a close, it’s time to break out one of the greatest summer camp fi lms of all time. Wet Hot American Summer is an ensemble fi lm to rival all others, with actors from across the wide spectrum of entertainment popping in to crack wise. The majority of these goofballs were spawned from The State, the MTV sketch show that would ultimately be responsible for shows like Viva Variety!, Stella and Reno 911. Yet there are a few surprises as well. Christopher

Second Supper

ARTS Meloni from Law and Order: SVU shows up as a crazed cook who gains wisdom from food and talks about enacting all manner of absurdly depraved behavior. Elizabeth Banks was running strong in her blond hussy phase of acting at this point. And Bradley Cooper from The Hangover and The A-Team? This was his fi rst movie, and he spent his debut bitching about the camp talent show as well as getting cornholed in a dark shed while wearing tube socks. There’s something wonderfully appropriate about that.

If there is a protagonist in Wet Hot American Summer, it’s Coop, played by writer Michael Showalter. Coop is a bowl-cutted camp counselor who silently lusts after a female buddy, even though she looks like kind of a mongo. Being the last day of camp, he spends his time trying to build up the nerve to hook up with her. The problem is that she’s dating the super-aloof, child killing Paul Rudd, a fellow counselor whose fl ailing antics and immunity from dignity render him the coolest kid at camp. Even though Rudd’s character is a total man-whore, Coop’s chances of erotic success are slim.

Yet desperate love remains in the air. Pretty much everybody is trying to hook up on this fateful last day, from the little kid who sets his sights on SNL’s Molly Shannon to the horned-up guy sporting short shorts and a permed fro who ditches his campers in whitewater rapids for a shot at love. A couple of geeks fi nd the strength to set their urges aside in order to save the camp from total destruction, but those kids suck.

The fi nal day of camp culminates with

Bradley Cooper’s talent show, which is presided over by an old Jewish comedian from the Catskills (also played by Showalter). His old-timey cracks about “awts and fawts and crafts” and being so old that “f***ing Jesus Christ was my counselor” put the kids in stitches. Meanwhile, the geeks put their plan into action, a loser powers up, and Coop makes his move.

Ever lingering rumors have it that a sequel to Wet Hot American Summer will one day come. Who knows if it will ever happen, but that day would be awesome.

— Brett Emerson

The Screening Room Medium: Film The Expendables (2010) Director: Sylvester Stallone Cast: Sylvester Stallone, Jason Statham, Jet Li Writers: Sylvester Stallone and Dave Callaham

Sylvester Stallone couldn’t have picked a better summer to release his loud, lumbering action opus The Expendables. In a season that’s seen an “A-Team” adaptation and a proper return-to-the-jungle Predator sequel, The Expendables more or less brings the apparent '80s revival to a head. And what a head it is: Stallone may not have been able to assemble every movie badass ever (any such project would be woefully incomplete without Charles Bronson, rest his soul), but many of the major players are here doing what they do best: kicking the teeth out of hoards of nameless baddies, pumping them full of endless ammunition and making things blow up but good.

That said, The Expendables has no truly great or bar-setting action set pieces. Most of its over-the-top violence is too sloppily assembled and disorienting for its own good.

The fi nale — a large-scale bloodbath whose every second is fi lled with gunfi re, knives piercing fl esh, fi sts colliding with skulls, inane explosions, grunting or some combination of the above — is so poorly lit that it’s diffi cult to discern one sweaty beefcake from another. Technical issues aside, the fi lm delivers on the dumb fun it promises.

Sure, the plot is paper-thin and the dialogue is so hacky you might actually blush, but it’s all just part of the fi lm’s no-thinking-

allowed charm.

— Nick Cabreza

The Designer's Drugs Medium: Literature Stimulus: John Verdon – Think of a Number Anno: 2010

John Verdon’s debut novel is a cautionary tale of lopsided storytelling. The meat of this book is a mystery that lures the reader with false trails and bizarre circumstances.

The puzzle is intriguing, and it is solved with solemn reason that piques the intellect.

Problem is, just about everything else in this book is crap.

Retired New York detective Dave Gurney is the hero of the story, sought out by an old college acquaintance to lend his thoughts on a strange matter. This old classmate, who suffered through some lost years before emerging as a self-help guru, received a mysterious threat in the mail, one which includes a baffl ing mind reading magic trick. What begins as possible harassment, or possible extortion, soon sweeps Gurney into something much darker. Clues are strewn throughout the story, but as the adversary toys with those chasing him, so does Verdon toy with the reader’s judgment.

On the merits of the mystery itself, he has crafted a worthy tale.

Yet there’s so much going against the main plot. Starting from its horribly overwrought opening, Think of a Number falls prey to ridiculous amounts of exposition. There’s a lot of dialogue between Gurney and others on the case, but that isn’t the problem.

Besides the presence of a few jackasses on the team — most notably a doofus referred to as Tom Cruise’s clone and a preening D.A. who seems disturbingly excited about the adversary’s reign of terror, the conversation stays largely on target and advances the story instead of hindering it. The problem is when every minute fl icker of thought in Dave Gurney’s head blazes through the narrative, dragging the story to a halt. It’s OK to show Gurney’s humanity, his frailties and damage, but whole chapters are devoted to the slightest provocation sending him spiraling into his life story.

There are a few other screwups that stick out in the tale, and though they’re not as bad as the overnarration they severely undermine the story’s gravity. The story’s blatant lifting of a plot point from The Shining — the movie, not the book — iis pretty galling. Furthermore, a member of the supporting cast is a clear-cut New York cop named Randy Clamm. Really. Yet worse than this porn star nomenclature is a gay, gay, gay witness whom Gurney comes across while on his quarry’s trail. How over the top is he?

Well, his name is Bruce, for starters, and he runs a bed and breakfast that serves as a fully immersive shrine to the Wizard of Oz. And when Gurney arrives on the scene, the fi rst thing that Bruce does is fl ip out about his missing ruby slippers. Seriously.

In all, Verdon could become a great mystery writer — provided he gets a handle on everything else.

— Brett Emerson

Second Supper

August 19, 2010 // 7

MUSIC

Q & A with rapper F.Stokes

By Adam Bissen

adam.bissen@secondsupper.com

F.Stokes (pronounced Eff Dot Stokes) is a New York City-based rapper who was born on the south side of Chicago and raised in Madison, Wis. He will headline the Hyphon & Def Mek Birthday Bash 2 Friday night at the Root Note, topping a bill that features eight acts. For a much longer version of this interview, visit www.secondsupper.com.

Second Supper: Your biography stresses how you grew up in poverty, and you fess up to selling crack for a little bit.

F.Stokes: But that’s the easy shit, man.

That’s what I really hate talking about. It disgusts me, frankly. Because my message and my life is so much bigger. That story is super, super easy because most people can identify with it, or most people have these conditioned images of black America so it’s safe to write about that. I sold crack because I was a victim of circumstance and I was f***ing hungry. So I went out and did the actual easiest thing possible to get food in my stomach. There’s nothing prideful about that moment.

SS: I’ve listened to a couple of your mixtapes. And none of them seem to glorify that culture.

FS: Of course not.

SS: So what do you prefer to write about?

FS: You know, what you hear on the mixtapes. Granted, that culture is part of me, but it doesn’t define me. What defines me is the fact that day in and day out I bust my ass to get this message across to the world, doing anything possible, whether it’s waiting tables or passing out napkins in a bathroom or crashing on various couches for a month or two, whatever it takes for me to get this message to the world.

SS: You’ve performed overseas in Europe and Australia. What’s been the reception to your music in those markets?

FS: It’s been phenomenal, phenomenal.

I just got back from Paris a few weeks ago and the energy man was just breathtaking.

Because those kids over there don’t have the same history with African American people. The media doesn’t have a black man selling crack on TV every night. So when they get the message, man, they’re a bit more open to it. Those kids get it. God bless ‘em, man, and I thank them every single time. What else can I ask for, dude?

I don’t have a million dollars. I’ll probably never have a million dollars liquid. So hey, man, I’m happy to inspire an 8-year-old kid in Iceland or that 19-year-old hairdresser in Paris or those newlyweds in Australia that allowed me to stay on their couch for two weeks. Those things are just invaluable, and luckily music was the liaison for that.

More online at www.secondsupper.com

The Majak Mixtape

By Jonathan Majak jonathan.majak@secondsupper.com

Oh Michael Cera, how you doing, boo?

With Scott Pilgrim vs. the World underperforming at the box office, making it your fourth flop in a row since Juno, it must be difficult seeing your former co-star Ellen Page riding high with Inception. See, unlike most corners of the world, we don’t hate you, Cera, for being the poster boy for hipsterdom seeing as we are gleefully hipster douche bags ourselves. So we’d like to offer this mixtape to help you get through this time and hopefully play on the set whenever they finally get around to making the Arrested Development film in a mix we’re calling, “Michael Cera’s Infinite Playlist.”

First up is Talking Heads “Once in a Lifetime” because don’t all hipsters owe a lot of their sheen to the yelping cries of David Byrne. I actually knew a friend in a Talking Heads cover band that went by the name Byrne Victims. Anyway, we chose Once in a Lifetime because a) it’s a great tune and b) it’s also what we’d like you to do from now on in terms of roles. Stop playing the same character in every film making your range,

in the words of the song, “same as it ever was.” Because you know what that makes you: the dorkier, Canadian version of Hugh Grant. DO YOU WANT THAT? I thought not.

Next up is “Super Ball” from indie pop group Magic Kids. It’s the kind of insanely catchy slice of garage band rock that would play over any number of Michael Cera trailers. You know, the trailer with cartoon scribbling, lots of mumbling by Cera, a pretty girl inexplicably attracted to our slouchy hero, and that whole aura of magical twee so prevalent in the Cera filmography where love is just a stammering speech and a Bishop Allen tune away.

Lastly is “Whatever Happened to Corey Haim?” by the Irish outfit The Thrills. The title alone should send chills down your spine, Mr. Cera. Oh how quick we go from darling to A&E reality show. You need to get better scripts before people start asking, “Whatever happened to Michael Cera?” and somebody eventually replies, “I think he’s got a new dating show on VH-1 called Michael Cera Vs. The Whores.”

Want your daily fix of the Majak Mixtape? Go to the Majak Kingdom blog at www.majakkingdom.blogspot.com for a daily mix.

Get: Kanye West’s “G.O.O.D. Ass Mixtape”

YouTube: Robyn’s video for her new single “Hang With Me” from “Body Talk, Part 2”

Read: Popjustice (http://www. popjustice.com/)

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, Chicago r e w o T ) s r a e S ( s Willi in, Altra member

John Hestek by d te it bm su to ho P Winning

Open 7 days a week inside Festival Foods, La Crosse

608.787.4500 • www.altra.org

Monthly prize will be awarded at the sole discretion of the judging team. Photos showing Altra members in a dangerous or illegal setting will not be considered, so don't even try it. Same goes for photos not rated G. Photos will not be retouched other than to obscure the number on the card if visible. By submitting a photo, you certify that you have the legal right to grant Altra unrestricted permission to publish the photo in any medium. Contest open to Altra members who are current Debit Card users. Sorry, Altra employees and their immediate family members are not eligible for prizes.

8// August 19, 2010

Second Supper

MUSIC

music directory // August 20 to August 26 fridaY, .

August 20

just a roadie away Milwaukee

JB'sSpeakeasy // 717 Rose St. Nate Hancock & the Declaration (funky rock) • 10 p.m.

population

596,974

Lady Gaga // SEPT. 2 Bradley Center • $49.50-$175

kornfest // 300 W. Roberts St. (Holmen) Trouble Shooter (country) • 8 p.m.

KISS // SEPT. 2 Marcus Amphitheater • $16.50-$121

Neuie's varsity club // 1920 Ward Ave. Milktoast (rock multi-media experience) • 9:30 p.m.

Atmosphere, Blueprint // SEPT. 9 Riverside Theatre • $22.50

Pearl Street Brewery // 1401 St. Andrew St.

Pavement // SEPT. 14 Pabst Theatre • $32.50

Brownie’s Recipe (fudge jams) • 5 p.m. piggy's blues lounge // 501 Front St. S. Poppa Roxy (blues) • 8 p.m.

Popcorn Tavern // 308 S. Fourth St. Evergreen Grass Band (bluegrass/ rock) •10 p.m.

The Joint // 324 Jay St. Kin Pickin' (jamgrass) • 10 p.m.

The Root Note // 114 4th St. S. F. Stokes, Fishhooks, Derill Pounds, Def Mek, Efftupp, Guess , Hyphon, Radiator Grrrls (Birthday Bash) • 8:30 p.m. the waterfront tavern // 328 Front St. The New Jazz Infidels (jazz) • 8 p.m.

saturdaY,

August 21

Huck Finn's // 127 Marina Dr T.U.G.G. (Reggae on the River) • 7 p.m.

Kan you feel the excitement? That’s right, friends, Holmen’s 47th annual Kornfest is this weekend, and we’re grinning from ear to ear.

Corn, bountiful slathered-in-butter-by-the-paintbrush corn, is the main attraction, but there are also three bands that should keep you entertained between the corn line and the beer tent. Local country favorites Trouble Shooter will kick off the festival with an 8 p.m. performance Friday, while beloved hair-rockers Flashback play the same 8 p.m. to midnight slot Saturday. The Nitty Gritty Dirt Band (pictured) will klose the fest with a three-hour show beginning at 6:30 p.m. Little known fact to impress your fellow festers: tNGDB is almost as old as Kornfest, as it was founded in Southern California in 1965 with Jackson Browne as an original member.

Neuie's North Star // 1732 George St. Spin Off Band (variety) • 8 p.m. piggy's blues lounge // 501 Front St. S. Poppa Roxy (blues) • 8 p.m.

Popcorn Tavern // 308 S. Fourth St. Kin Pickin' (jamgrass) • 10 p.m. river jack's //1835 Rose St. King Friday (acoustic trio) • 8 p.m.

The Root Note // 114 4th St. S. Jacob Green (folk rock) • 8:30 p.m.

The Starlite Lounge // 222 Pearl St. Kies and Kompanie (jazz) • 8 p.m.

the waterfront tavern // 328 Front St. JB'sSpeakeasy // 717 Rose St. The New Jazz Infidels (jazz) • 8 p.m.

Burnt Brownies (jazz-inspired rock) • 10 p.m. kornfest // 300 W. Roberts St. (Holmen) Flashback (‘80s rock) • 8 p.m.

Mike's Logan Bar // 1400 Caledonia St. The Fabulous Baloney Skins (Northsider birthday bash) • 5 p.m. my second home // 2104 George St. Paxico (rock) • 8 p.m.

sundaY,

August 22

French slough // 1311 La Crescent St. Kin Pickin’ (jam grass) • Noon

Popcorn Tavern // 308 S. Fourth St. Som’n Jazz (jazz) • 10 p.m.

The Joint // 324 Jay St. Adam Palm with Chubba (Palm Sunday) • 4 p.m.

The Root Note // 114 4th St. S. We Are the Willows (indie folk) • 8:30 p.m.

mondaY,

August 23

The Gaslight Anthem // SEPT. 18 The Rave •$15 DJ Pauly D // SEPT. 25 The Rave • $22.50-$27.50

Nighthawks Tap // 401 S. Third St. Bad Axe Jam (gear provided) • 10 p.m.

Popcorn Tavern // 308 S. Fourth St. Jazz Liver (jazz) • 10 p.m. recovery room // 901 7th St. S. Kin Pickin’ (open jam) • 10 p.m.

thursday,

August 26

Del’s Bar // 229 Third St. Open jam • 10 p.m.

Del’s Bar // 229 Third St. Don Harvey (songwriter) • 10 p.m.

Popcorn Tavern // 308 S. Fourth St. Shawn's Open jam • 10 p.m.

Nighthawks Tap // 401 S. Third St. Dave Orr's Damn Jam (open jam) • 10 p.m.

tuesdaY,

August 24

Popcorn Tavern // 308 S. Fourth St. Dave Orr (open jam) • 10 p.m.

wednesdaY,

August 25

kornfest // 300 W. Roberts St. (Holmen) Del’s Bar // 229 Third St. Trouble Shooter (country) • 2 p.m.

Nitty Gritty Dirt Band (country rock) Luke Hembd and Cheech (blues rock) • 10 p.m.

• 6:30 p.m.

Popcorn Tavern // 308 S. Fourth St. The Soapbox Project (pop-rock) • 10 p.m.

The Starlite Lounge // 222 Pearl St. Kies and Kompanie (jazz) • 5 p.m.

Hey Musicians!

Do you want to be featured in the center square of our entertainment calendar?

Then email a high-resolution band photo to

editor@secondsupper.com

Second Supper

The Beer Review Summer Shandy Leinenkugel Brewing Company Chippewa Falls, Wisconsin

Ah, there’s nothing quite like being on a sandbar. In any other circumstance, a day of sitting around, swatting mosquitoes and plunging oneself into dirty water would not qualify as a pleasant activity, yet add enough sun-bleached sand and you’ve got yourself a pretty good pastime.

If you can’t tell, I just came off the river this morning, and my head is still hovering somewhere out by the Mississippi shore.

We packed a cooler full of Leinenkugel’s Summer Shandy, which is a beer I almost

still going down pretty nicely never drink (despite 2009’s massive advertising blitz), yet while I sit under a ceiling fan Appearance: 8 I can’t think of any beverand listen to Radio Margaritaage that would be more perville.

Aroma: 6 fect. A traditional shandy, or

For the first time ever I just poured Summer Shandy shandygaff, is beer mixed with Taste: 7 carbonated lemonade. Popuinto a glass, and it actually Mouthfeel: 6 lar in many parts of Europe, looks like an unfiltered lemshandy is a thirst-quenching on soda or a margarita with Drinkability: 10 drink that’s often served to all the ice melted. It’s an opaque pale yellow color with children, so Leinenkugel’s 4.2 percent alcohol version actua bountiful frothy white head Total: 37 ally weighs in on the strong that leaves good lacing but side. But that’s all semantics, dissipates quickly. The aroma is so heavy on lemons that it really. I’ve heard some peoevokes certain furniture polple argue that the Summer Shandy isn’t really a beer, but the point ishes, but there’s also a kiss of honey and should be that it tastes good. And while a base of malts to remind you that this is, it may taste best on a sunny sandbar, it’s after all, a beer. The Summer Shandy hits

The Best Food & Drink Specials in Town LOCATION

August 19, 2010 // 9

YOUR GUIDE TO CONSUMPTION

SUNDAY

the tongue on a fizzy note, and it has a zingy tartness like a lemon candy. Then it warms a bit on malts and honey, fills the mouth with sweetness and fades with the taste of raw Sprite. The mouthfeel is more robust than hard lemonade, but it’s fizzier than some sodas, which could be off-putting if you’re in the mind for a traditional beer. Make no mistake: The Summer Shandy isn’t brewed for beer snobs. This is a sweet-tasting, extremely drinkable beverage that is the most pure “summer beer” that I’ve tried in a while. I may have to start drinking more of these Shandys — if just to get back on the sandbar.

— Adam Bissen

MONDAY

TUESDAY

WEDNESDAY

THURSDAY

FRIDAY

SATURDAY

ARENA

Midwest Poker League 7 p.m.

Closed

Wyld Wednesday: $2 Jumbo UV, mixers $1.50 Coronas

Ladies' Night, $5 Long Island pitchers

$1 Cherry Bombs, $1 Keystone Light silos

$1 Cherry Bombs, $1 Keystone Light silos

BODEGA BREW PUB

$2 BBQ Pork Sliders

2-Fers, Buy any regularly priced food item and get one of equal or lesser value for free

$2.50 Coors vs. Keystone pitchers. All specials 9 p.m. to close

AUC2D: $5, domestic taps, rail mix- 10-cent wings, $1 Miller High Life ers, Long Islands. All specials 9 p.m. bottles, $1.50 rail mixers; $2.50 call to close drinks. All specials 9 p.m. to close.

107 3rd St. S. 782-1883 122 4th St. 782-0677

BROTHERS

Closed

306 Pearl St. 784-0522

FEATURES

Free beer 5:30-6:30; Free wings 7:30- Taco buffet 11-2; 8:30, Free bowling after 9 $1 Pabst bottles and $1 bowling after 9

W3923 State Highway 16 786-9000

HOWIE’S

Fish Tacos: 1 / $2.50, 2 / $5.00, 3 / $6.50.

AUC2D: $5, domestic taps, rail mixers and Long Islands. Wristband Night: $2.50 SoCo & Jack. All specials 9 p.m. to close., 50¢ shots (2 flavors)

$3 3 Olives mixers, $3 Mojitos, $2 $3 Bacardi mixers, $3 Mojitos, $2 Cherry Bombs, $1 Bazooka Joe's; Cherry bombs, $1 Bazooka Joe's.

FAC: $3 domestic pitchers, micro/ All specials 9 p.m. to close. import taps, anything that pours.

4-9 p.m.

All you care to eat pizza buffet, 11-2

All you care to eat fish fry 4-10; unlimited Glow-N-Bowl $9.99

Prime rib dinner 4-10; unlimited Glow-N-Bowl $9.99 9 p.m. to close: $2 Bacardi mixers, $2 domestic pints, $1.50 shots blackberry brandy

1125 La Crosse St. 784-7400

Happy hour 4 to 9 p.m.; 9 p.m. to 9 p.m. to close: $3.50 domestic 9 p.m. to close: $1 rails, $2.50 pitch- $5 all you can drink close: Night Before Class - $3 pitch- pitchers ers, beer pong ers of the beast

9 p.m. to close: $1.25 rails, $1.75 bottles/cans

9 p.m. to close: $2 Captain mixers, $2 bottles/cans, $3 Jager bombs

IMPULSE

Closed

Closed

Karaoke 9 p.m.-Close; Happy Hour daily 5-8

Wine & martini night; Happy Hour daily 5-8

18+ night (1st and 3rd Thursday of each month); Happy Hour daily 5-8

$25 open bar package, 11 p.m. to Happy Hour daily 5-8 close: domestic/import beer, rail, call drinks, martinis; Happy Hour daily 5-8

JB’S SPEAKEASY

$1.75 domestic bottles

SIN Night

$1.75 domestic bottles

Happy Hour 5 to 7 p.m.

Happy Hour 5 to 7 p.m.

Happy Hour 5 to 7 p.m.

$1.79 burger (after 8 p.m.)

Breakfast 8 a.m. to 2 p.m.

Hat Night: Buy 1 drink, get 1 free w/ Rail drinks $2 (4:30 to close); Buckets of beer $10, Boston Bobby's Margaritas $4 (Straw, rasp, mango, hat (4:30 to close); $1.50 chili dogs After 8 p.m. specials: $5 skewer of drummies 10 for $2 (4:30 to close), peach and reg); After 8 p.m. specials: (after 8 p.m.) shrimp,l $1.79 burger, $1.50 chili dogs $1.79 burger (after 8 p.m.) $5 skewer of shrimp, $1.79 burger

214 Main St. 782-6010

Happy Hour 5 to 7 p.m.

717 Rose St. 796-1161

SCHMIDTY’S 3119 State Road 788-5110

SLOOPY'S ALMA MATER 163 Copeland Ave. 785-0245

SPORTS NUT

$2 can beer (2-6 p.m.) $11 buckets of beers (6-close)

$2 can beer (2-6 p.m.)

12" pizza: $8.99 up to 5 toppings (4-close)

Wings, Wings, Wings... $2 off 14: Ladies night, 2 for 1 drinks (6-close), pizza, $2 can beer (2-6 p.m.) $2 can beer (2-6 p.m.)

Buck Burgers

Tacos $1.25

15-cent wings

Breakfast 8 a.m. to 2 p.m.

Friday Fish, $2 can beer (2-6)

$8.99 12-ounce T-bone

2 for 1 pints/pitches w/ student ID over 21 15-cent wings

801 Rose St. 784-1811

THE LIBRARY

Sunday Fun Day - Wristband Night

Half price tequilla, $1 domestic taps Karaoke, $2 Double rails and all Beer Pong Tourney and $3 Bacardi mixers, $3 Jumbo Long and rails bottles; $3 Double call drinks wristband night, $2 cherry bombs, Island Iced Teas 50¢ shots (3 flavors)

123 3rd St. 784-8020

TOP SHOTS 137 4th St. 782-6622

$5 Pitchers/$2 bottles of Miller $1.75 Miller/Bud Light Taps, $2.25 $1.75 Rails, $1.50 Domestic Taps, $2 domestic bottles, $2.50 Skyy/ products (11-4pm) MIcro/Craft Taps, $2.50 Cherry Bombs $3.50 Jager Bombs Absolut mixers, $2 Dr. shots $2 Corona Bottles, $2 Kilo Kai Mixers (7-1AM) (7-1AM) (7-1am) , $3 Bloodys (7-1AM)

5 Domestic Bottles for $10, $5 $2 Captain Mixers, $2. Long Island Micro/Import Bottles $11.50, $7 Mixers, $3 Effen Vodka Mixers (7Micro/Craft Pitchers (7-1AM) 1AM)

TRAIN STATION BBQ

Ask for great eats

11 a.m. to 3 p.m., Barn burner $7.95; 4 to 9 p.m., Hobo dinner (serves two) $30.95

WHO'S ON THIRD

Happy Hour until 10 p.m. $1.50 domestic taps, $2 rails from 10 to close

601 St. Andrew St. 781-0005 126 3rd St. N. 782-9467

$1 taps of PBR, $1 rails

11 a.m. to 3 p.m., extra side with sandwich; 4 to 9 p.m., $1 off rib dinner

Special varies

$3 call doubles, $2 Bud products

Ladies' Night: $2 top shelf, $1 Pink $8.50 Fish Bowls, $2 Miller products $1 off Three Olives, $2 domestic taps Tacos Everyone: $2.50 bombs, $2 taps, $3 Jack/Captain doubles

$3 Jumbo Long Island Iced Teas, $3 3 Olives mixers $5 Miller/Bud Light Pitchers, $2.25 Leinies Bottles (7-1AM)

11 a.m. to 3 p.m., Chicken on fire One-half chicken three bones $7.95; 4 to 9 p.m., Bones and bris- $12.95 kets $13.95

To advertise here, call (608) 782-7001 or e-mail us at advertising@secondsupper.com.

10// August 19, 2010

Second Supper

DIVERSIONS

Maze Efflux

"The damage is done" A body of work in body work

By Erich Boldt

By Matt Jones

Sudoku

Answers on Page 11

Newspaper Delivery Driver Needed

Second Supper needs delivery person to distribute papers Thursday afternoon/evening throughout La Crosse.

Car necessary.

Immediate opening. Call 608.782.7001. Pay is about $10 per hour.

USED FURNITURE C h e a p

P r i c e s

MOST ITEMS $50 - $100

Sofas, Recliners BEDS & MORE! 519 Commerce St - Holmen, WI 54636 - 608-526-3399

Behind Select Carwash, Only 8 minutes from Valley View Mall M-F 10-8 Sat 9-5 Sun 12-5

ACROSS 1 "Australia" director Luhrmann 4 Sidearm outlaws pack 10 ___ Sutra 14 Tahiti, par exemple 15 "Ad astra per ___" 16 Mine, in Marseilles 17 Injury from Fluffy, perhaps 19 Below average 20 Jacob's biblical twin 21 During every season 23 Word after acting or stink 26 Dog's master 27 Tiebreaker rds.

30 Least based in reality 35 "Do or do not--there is no ___" 36 Pop-Tarts flavor released in the 2000s 39 ___ ex machina 40 Sky blue 41 Unlikely to bite 44 1961 album showing

Sinatra straightening his tie 47 Online outburst 49 It may include a fivepoint harness 50 Scrappy-___ 51 Ankle bones 53 With "off," British swearer's phrase 55 "I've got nothing else to say" 60 Al Kut's country 64 Dog food once hawked by Ed McMahon 65 Two-Face's alter ego, in the "Batman" series 68 One of 52 69 Cuban dance: var.

70 Half of half of half of octo71 Bum 72 Not goofing around 73 High school assembly goal

Answers to August 12 puzzle That won't cut it: Gotta be sharp for this one

DOWN 1 Bo who lost to Carrie Underwood on "American Idol" 2 "___, poor Yorick!"

3 Greek letter 4 "___-Man Fever" (1980s hit) 5 Haifa's nat.

6 Perform part of a Bob Barker wish 7 Henri's head 8 Killer whale 9 Bert who played the Cowardly Lion 10 Hard-hitting noise 11 Invoice phrase 12 Someone who's the butt of many pranks 13 Use a clothespin, perhaps 18 Classroom replacement 22 "Portnoy's Complaint" author Philip 24 Mystery craft 25 Classic arcade game with tractor beams 27 Cleaner's condition 28 Most common word in English 29 Rationalizing from the inept 31 Early Hollywood agent Swifty 32 1990s dating show 33 Spookily weird 34 Opera subdivisions

37 CBS show with Eric Szmanda 38 "___ be an honor" 42 Letters on the 6 43 Ass's asset?

45 "___: Los Angeles" (LL Cool J show) 46 Classic muscle car 47 Capital about 300 miles from New York City 48 He never finished his Tenth Symphony 52 Fuel the fire 54 Performed 56 "Comin' ___ the Rye" 57 Jessica in a 1980s scandal 58 Stuck in ___ 59 Rating for "The Sopranos" 61 Enlist for another tour 62 Photographer Geddes 63 Head cleaner of sorts 66 "This is only a test" gp.

67 Talk and talk and talk and talk For answers, call (900) 226-2800, 99 cents per minute. Or to bill to a credit card, call (800) 655-6549. Reference puzzle #0479.

Visit us online at www.secondsupper.com

Second Supper

August 19, 2010 // 11

THE LAST WORD

The ADviCe GODDeSS

By Amy Alkon amy.alkon@secondsupper.com Not wanton any

I started seeing this amazing guy, but had to initiate most of the making out. He soon dumped me, saying he has little experience and was freaking out. We got back together, but he still wasn’t initiating, and six months in, still hadn’t had sex with me. After a perfect date, I told him I wanted to make love to him. He said he wasn’t up for that kind of attachment, hightailed it out of my place, and ended it again. We’re friends now, but I’ve fallen totally in love with him. I can tell he’s attracted to me, but my friends think he’s gay or sexually dysfunctional. I told him I wouldn’t care about the latter. He’s too great to walk away from. He gets my weird artwork and disturbing humor, and we work great together on art projects.

I’m considering making my upcoming birthday my deadline and telling him what I REALLY want. If he cannot commit or initiate sex, I’m leaving! Right?

— Frustrated

There are some subtle signs that somebody’s attracted to you: dilated pupils, fl ushed face, heavier breathing, taking off out the back door like somebody fi red the gun at the beginning of a track meet. …

It is possible that you mumbled when propositioning the guy, and your “I want to make love to you!” sounded exactly like “Did I mention that terrorists planted a bomb under my couch, and it’s timed to go off at any moment?” But, chances are, the truth is exactly as it seems: While you’re dying to get him into bed, he’d rather get into a cannon with a lit fuse.

Yes, maybe he’s gay, maybe his man parts are on the fritz, or maybe he’s less interested in sex than in being slowly eaten alive by fi re ants. The why of this is unimportant; what matters is that you want something that he can’t provide. Great, he likes the same weird artwork, but don’t be looking to him for anything racier than an afternoon of fully clothed collage-making (“Want the glue stick?” being a euphemism for “Want the glue stick?”).

Come on, you know that continuing to demand sex and commitment from this guy is dumb — dumb like sitting yourself down in a vegan restaurant and refusing to leave until they bring you barbequed ribs with a side of hog cracklins. You’ve latched onto the common excuse for this sort of self-destructive behavior: “Help, I’ve fallen in love, and I can’t get up!” There’s a good chance you are in love — with the chase. You avoid admitting that this is a lost cause by

clinging to “This would be so perfect, if only … .” Yes, if only he were somebody totally different — a man who can’t wait to have sex with you instead of a man who probably redresses you with his eyes: Show cleavage, and he’ll mentally put you in a poncho.

For your birthday, give yourself the gift of living while fully conscious. Identify men who are broken, pat them on the head and send them on their way. The weirder your sensibilities, the harder it’ll be to fi nd a boyfriend who shares them. Maybe you can’t, but maybe you can make a bunch of friends who do. Relationships always require compromise, but there’s trying to make it work with a guy who likes sex in the morning when you like it in evening — and there’s trying to make it work with one who likes it on February 30th.

glasses off, unlike somebody’s unpictured 80 extra pounds, as in, “I basically wear these 80 pounds everywhere but in bed!” To be more honest, post a secondary picture of your bespectacled self, and be sure to include a full body shot to show guys that you aren’t built like a manatee (aka the “sea cow”).

Keep in mind that online daters probably assume their prospects are lying about essential details until proven otherwise. It should come as something of a relief to your dates when they fi nd out your big secret, and it’s that you have an astigmatism, not an Adam’s apple.

Sudoku

Lens crafty

I’m putting up my online dating profile, and wonder if I’m being deceitful by posting a picture of myself without glasses. (I photograph better without them, but basically wear them everywhere but in bed.)

— Miss Four Eyes

Internet daters posting photos to their profi les are intent on putting their best foot forward — and all too often, it’s a foot attached to another person’s body. So, on the online dating ethics spectrum, posting a photo sans your glasses is like taking an extra mint at the bank versus holding the teller up at gunpoint. After all, you can take

Downtown La Crosse, above Fayzes - 782-6622

top shots joke of the week What are the specials at the Brett Favre Bakery?

Waffles and Turnovers!

Check out our new Beers on Tap!

Good People, Good Drinks, Good Times

SUNDAY

$5 Pitchers $2 Bottles of Miller Products (11-4 pm) $2 Corona Bottles $2 Kilo Kai Mixers $3 Bloody’s (7-1am)

MONDAY TUESDAY

$1.75 - Miller/Bud Taps $2.25 Micro/Craft Taps $2.50 Cherry Bombs (7-1am)

$1.75 Rails $1.50 Domestic Taps $3.50 Jager Bombs (7-1am)

$2.00 - 1 Player, $3.00 - 2 Players 50 Cents Off Drinks, $1 Off Pitchers

WEDNESDAY $2 Domestic Bottles $2.50 Skyy/Absolute Mixers $2 Dr. Shots (7-1am)

THURSDAY FRIDAY 5 Domestic Bottles 4 $10 $5 Micro/Import Bottles $11.50, $7 Micro/Craft Pitchers (7-1am)

$5 Miller Lite/Bud Light Pitchers

SATURDAY $2.25 Leinies Bottles (7-1am)

$2 Captain Mixers $2 Long Islands $3 Effen Vodka Mixers (7-1am)

from Page 10

12// August 19, 2010

Second Supper

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