Second Supper

INSIDE: WISPOLITICS.COM SAYS KIND'S POLITICAL STOCK ON THE RISE • PAGE 4

La Crosse's Free Press VOLUME 10, NO. 45 | DECEMBER 2, 2010

Buck Fever

Writer sets his sights on understanding deer hunt's appeal Page 5 PLUS: ARTS REVIEW • PAGE 6 | MUSIC DIRECTORY • PAGE 8 | BEER REVIEW • PAGE 9 | ADVICE GODDESS • PAGE 11

2// December 2, 2010

Second Supper

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IF A GENIE GRANTED YOU ONE WISH, WHAT WOULD YOU ASK FOR? 20 bucks and all the noodles I could eat

FIRST CONCERT YOU WENT TO: Aaron Carter. WooWoot

WHAT IS SOMETHING YOU WANT TO DO BEFORE YOU DIE: Learn the name and order of all the Pokemon

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WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE PART OF SECOND SUPPER? Sudoku

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Shuggy is the biggest flirt in La Crosse. All the girls know him.

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Social Networking

— Compiled by Shuggypop Jackson, shuggypop.jackson@secondsupper.com

Show us where Altra has taken you and win a Flip Mino™ Send us a photo of you with your Altra Debit Card.

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Second Supper

Things To Do Enjoy enchanting revival of 'Twelfth Night'

The Top Deer hunting depictions in popular culture 1. "The Deer Hunter" 2. "Second Week of Deer Camp" 3. "Escanaba in da Moonlight" 4. "Da Turdy Point Buck" 5. "Bambi" 6. "The Yearling" 7. Any Ted Nugent son Kanye West albums 1. The College Dropout 2. My Beautiful Dark Twisted Fantasy 3. The Blueprint 4. Graduation 5. 808s & Heartbreak 6. Late Registration 7. Can't Tell Me Nothing

December 2, 2010 // 3

FIRST THINGS FIRST

The University of Wisconsin-La Crosse Department of Theatre Arts rings in the yuletide season with Twelfth Night, William Shakespeare’s wonderfully witty comedy about love and mistaken identity. The fun begins Dec. 3-4 and 9-11 at 7:30 p.m., with matinee performances on Dec. 5 and 12 at 2 p.m. All performances will be in Toland Theatre in the Center for the Arts on the corner of 16th and Vine streets. The box office is located in the lobby of the Center for the Arts. Tickets are $12 for the general public, $10 for non-UWL students, senior citizens and children, and $4 for UW-L students with a valid student ID. For reservations, call the box office at (608) 785-8522.

1

Support efforts for school in Ghana

Local musicians T.U.G.G. and Cheech are coming together for a benefit concert at the Pettibone Resort Banquet Hall on Saturday, Dec. 4, at 6 p.m. to raise money and awareness for ByTheWaves Inc, a non-profit organization whose goal is to help preserve the cultural identity of Ghana through arts, music, and education. Joining the local acts will be Kafi Appiah, a native of Ghana whose fellow villagers have been displaced due to an international investment firm purchasing the land they called home. Kafi has been in the La Crosse area teaching school children about traditional West African drumming. He also is collecting donations to build a community center and school. A $5 ticket gives you great music, as well as one free tap or rail drink. There will also be a silent auction. For more information about ByTheWaves Inc., head to www.bythewaves.org, and for more information about the concert, visit www.tuggmusic.com.

2

Stare at the stars from a warm room

Experience a starry night as the La Crosse Area Astronomical Society and the Myrick Hixon EcoPark present a holiday show, “Star of Wonder.” The presentation will take place in UW-L’s planetarium, located in the basement of Cowley Hall on Dec 4 at 1, 2, and 3 p.m. After a dusk-until-dawn tour of the night-time stars, planets and constellations, take in a bonus program about the sun, “One Million Years Plus 8 Minutes.” All the presentations will take place in the warm planetarium and last about one hour. The cost is $3 for adults and $2 for children.

3

Get in the holiday spirit with some jazz Yuletide carols take a jazzy spin at UW-La Crosse’s Swinging Yuletide at 7:30 p.m. Saturday, Dec 4, in Valhalla Hall at Cartwright Center. The concert will feature the Great River Big Band, UW-L Instrumental and Vocal Jazz Ensembles and the La Crosse Jazz Combo. This makes for a great date or family event, and Santa will surely be in attendance. Limited cabaret seating is available so snag those tickets ASAP. Tickets are $20 for reserved seating, $10 for adults and $5 for student general admission. There will only be one show, so for tickets and more information call 784-8415.

4

Check out the seniors' art at Toland Theatre

5

Eight seniors' work will be featured at UW-La Crosse's bi-annual Senior Art Student Exhibition this month. An opening reception will be held from 5 to 7 p.m.

Friday, Dec 3, at the Center For the Arts on campus. The exhibition will run until Dec 15. Gallery hours are noon-8 p.m. Monday through Thursday, noon-5 p.m. Friday and Saturday, and during Toland Theatre events. For more information, call 785-8230.

4// December 2, 2010

Second Supper

COMMENTARY

WisPolitics.com Report THAT'S DEBATABLE

Editor's Note: WisOpinion.com has asked two veterans of Wisconsin policy and politics, Scot Ross of One Wisconsin Now and Brian Fraley of the John K. MacIver Institute for Public Policy, to engage in weekly exchanges on a topic of their choosing. This week they debate high-speed rail between Milwaukee and Madison.

Ross: It didn’t take long for our governorelect to find out that one of his most oftmade promises will not be one he can keep.

Scott Walker spent a year railing (pun intended) against the high-speed train to connect Madison and Milwaukee. No dice, says the president, Walker is not going to be able to take $810 million and hand it over to his pals in the road-building game. Walker’s not giving up though — he's bound and determined to kill 125 jobs at Talgo and as many as 13,000 jobs for Wisconsin in the coming years through rail. Quite the auspicious start, no?

Fraley: True enough that it didn't take long for Governor-elect Scott Walker to prove that he's a man of his word who doesn't break a promise merely because the political class pressures him. The federal government controls the fate of the $810 million dollars; Walker never said otherwise. His preference, and his hope, was and is to see that money redirected to either other infrastructure projects in Wisconsin, or to see at least some of the monies spent on other rail-related needs here. If the Obama administration chooses to not let that happen, that is not on Walker. No accumulation of completelymade-up train-related job numbers can obscure the fact that Walker's opposition to

STOCK REPORT

the Milwaukee-to-Madison Lobbyist Express train is both fiscally prudent and popular with the average Wisconsinite.

RISING

Ross: Walker defines the political class.

Walker had to win a Republican primary and he defined himself early as an opponent of anything the Democrats accomplished. Doing this with rail, after he voted numerous times under Tommy! in favor of rail, makes the hypocrisy all the more tangy.

Ron Kind

The western Wisconsin Dem was pummeled during his re-election campaign over his connections to Nancy Pelosi, and he makes a move that should give him some separation from her for the next campaign, insiders say. Kind joins 42 of his colleagues in opposing Pelosi’s successful bid to remain at the head of the caucus following the Dem wipeout on Election Day. Kind tells WisPolitics the country needs leaders willing to find common ground. To some, the vote isn’t a profile in courage, but one of political expediency. Considering the nature of his district, Kind needs to put some distance between himself and the party’s liberal wing after narrowly surviving this fall. Still, others say it was a smart move. If nothing else, it gives him a sword to wield around the district to defend himself against further charges that he’s beholden to Pelosi. Some insiders say the real key for Kind will be how he votes going forward. Supporting the stimulus package, health care overhaul and cap and trade are what really hurt him back home. If he successfully navigates back to just left-of-center, it’ll help him fend off future challenges, and perhaps position himself for a future guv run, they argue.

Fraley: There is a huge difference between being a supporter of rail in general, including freight (and heck even some of Amtrak), and this boutique boondoggle. Need an example of how "free" money leads to long-term financial headaches? Look at the hordes who defaulted on mortgages they had no business receiving.

Ross: What I find hysterically hypocritical is that while Walker and a few on the right complain about the $7.5 million for the jobcreating high speed rail, the first bill ScoFitz wants to launch is Voter ID, which has a starting price tag of $10 million.

Fraley: I think voters understand you don't turn to liberals for lessons in responsible budgeting. You guys are addicted to OPM (Other People's Money) and only know how to spend, not to budget. As for ROI and expenses, Voter ID serves every Wisconsin citizen. The boutique choo-choo will be littleused. Walker has already shown more budget discipline as governor-elect than Doyle did in eight miserable years as chief exec.

MIXED Tony Evers

NEWS IN BRIEF Kind opposes Pelosi as minority leader

U.S. Rep. Ron Kind, D-La Crosse, said he did not support Nancy Pelosi for minority leader in a vote of the House Democratic caucus.

"It’s time we have leaders in both parties who can come together, sit down and address the challenges our country is facing to get our country moving in the right direction again," Kind said in a statement to WisPolitics. "I just don’t see that ability or intention in either party right now. And given the current economic situation, we need leaders who are willing to find common ground and focus on getting our economy back on track and creating good paying jobs."

Kind was targeted heavily by outside groups in his western Wisconsin district over his connections to Pelosi in TV ads that accused him of being beholden to her agenda.

According to national reports, Pelosi, D-Calif., beat North Carolina U.S. Rep. Heath Shuler 150-43 in the closed-door vote.

The office of Democratic Rep. Gwen Moore said the Milwaukee lawmaker supported Pelosi. Rep. Tammy Baldwin, DMadison, did not return a call seeking comment, but her office indicated previously she

planned to support Pelosi.

Campus incidents prompt call for civility

UW System President Kevin Reilly and the system's 14 chancellors are calling for civility and decrying "violence and intolerance" following a recent string of incidents on or near UW campuses.

"At times like this, we must recommit ourselves to a shared sense of civility," they said in a joint statement. "To be clear, this is not a call for limits on individual expression.

Everyone has a right to his or her opinion, and everyone else has a right to challenge that opinion — with evidence, and with respect. Nobody has a right to engage in abusive behavior, and we each have an obligation to challenge that kind of conduct whenever it occurs on our campus or in our communities."

The statement follows a series of highly publicized hate crimes at UW-Whitewater, along with a UW-Stout student's death outside a bar that resulted in charges filed against two Stout hockey players.

UW leaders also announced plans for a conference on “Civility in Everyday Life,” to be held in February at UW-Oshkosh.

The state’s schools chief touts his proposed overhaul to the state’s aid formula, saying it would “end the school funding shell game” and make things more equitable. While Evers says he’s gotten positive feedback from GOP leggies, Republican leaders express skepticism about the plan and ask a simple question: Where’s the money? Evers’ plan would set a minimum aid level of $3,000 per student, shift various tax credits into the general aid formula and focus more on poverty levels than property values. But it’d also require an extra $420 million, not exactly chump change with the state staring down yet another massive budget hole, critics say.

FALLING Rail money

It’s clear to just about everyone that the more than $800 million earmarked for a high-speed rail line between Madison and Milwaukee is gone. At this point, the question to some is just where it’ll end up. Walker continues to insist there are other options besides the money disappearing and says he’s still meeting with federal transportation officials on alternatives. Still, to most insiders, saying good-bye to the train means saying good-bye to the money as well

Second Supper

COMMUNITY

Buck fever

December 2, 2010 // 5

Writer sets his sights on understanding deer hunt's appeal

By J. Reuter Special to Second Supper

Of all the things that defi ne Wisconsin, the nine-day deer hunt of November sits comfortably and indisputably at the top.

Every year, beginning the Saturday before Thanksgiving, approximately 600,000 men, women and children don blaze orange and march into the woodlands of Wisconsin in hopes of fi nding not just the perfect buck, but solace, camaraderie and bragging rights.

While the average male hunter may not reveal it, the annual hunting season evokes an understated sense of passion, and for many in this state, it is the most wonderful time of the year.

There is an indefi nable fl icker in the eye of a person when given the opportunity to talk about something they love. At a small tavern in the heart of a small town not far from La Crosse, a large banner (blaze orange, of course) adorns the front of the building, welcoming hunters to register their kill and possibly share a story or two over a cheap beer. It’s the kind of place where the regulars have been coming for at least 20 years and where the patrons truly do know nearly everyone who walks in the door, with few exceptions. Colorful posters advertising various domestic beers are taped over wood-paneled walls while the numerous, motionless heads of once mighty bucks jut out from above, watching over it all in mute seriousness.

In hindsight, it’s comical that I’d felt so out of my element. With little to no knowledge of the details of deer hunting, I wondered just how I’d keep a conversation afl oat, and yet, once the conversation began I realized just how unfounded my worries were. A passionate hunter, I’ve found, can talk endlessly about the hunt, and what’s more, it is a fascinating topic to get swept into. “Iceman,” a camoufl aged, ex-marine with a penchant for threatening others with castration, was less eager to regale me with his own stories of the hunt (after years of hunting, he now puts his knowledge to use in the processing of deer meat) than to introduce me to not only hunters, but the best, most singular of the bunch.

After hours of uneducated questions and diligent note-taking, I learned that the ideal range for hunting with a compound bow is 20 yards, that bucks are extremely intelligent, and that last season’s harvest was horrendous. I heard stories of bear-like creatures crashing through pitch-black forests, a debate on whether or not a pus-fi lled deer carcass hanging in a nearby walk-in cooler was gangrenous, and saw a cell phone photo of a buck with a 194-inch rack (The measuring system for antlers is somewhat complex, so for brevity’s sake I’ll just say that 194 is extremely large).

While muddied trucks parked in the gravel lot outside, their beds weighed down with lifeless, fi eld-dressed does and bucks,

the bartenders took turns tagging the carcasses, cutting a slice in the ear of does to slide the tag through, but taking care not to mar the heads of bucks by wrapping the tag around the antlers. Inside, we continued to talk hunting, the discussion becoming more animated with each additional beer. Those I talked to most were both passionate and eager to talk about the sport, but for others it was not so much a subject to be ruminated over, rather a means to an end — the end in this case being venison. One older gentleman at the bar, referred to only as “Kite”, simplifi ed his 53 years of hunting (or was it 48?) into an extremely simple equation: “I hunt ‘cause I love the meat. That’s it.”

There is, of course, a necessity to the hunt. Overpopulation is a very real concern, as even slightly infl ated numbers can have a detrimental effect on the surrounding area.

While many hunters bemoan the DNR’s efforts at deer population management, the fact remains that the critters can actually be a bit of a nuisance. The number of deer killed annually by motorists is on average 45,000, while the cost of damage done to the agricultural industry (specifi cally corn crops) is well into the millions. However, according to many hunters, state herd control regulations of previous years coupled with a perhaps overzealous determination by the DNR to eliminate Chronic Wasting Disease has left the deer population wanting, and scarce harvests the past few years have resulted in many a disgruntled hunter. One hunter I talked with, however, 33-year-old Curt Storey, seemed to possess a limitless sense of optimism concerning the future of the hunt.

Curt Storey has been hunting since he was 12, but after hearing the story of his fi rst kill, it’s a wonder he continued. After nearly two hours invested following the blood trail of a buck, Curt’s search ended in a frostencrusted corn fi eld, standing above the wheezing, panicked body of an animal in its fi nal moments. The rush of the kill, the adrenaline that accompanies the so-called “Buck Fever” was long gone at this point, replaced with the dreadful reality of an ethi-

cal demand: The buck’s throat needed to be cut. What would certainly not be easy for a grown man must have been traumatic for a boy. While the buck writhed, twisted and bellowed, young Curt wrestled an animal that most certainly outweighed him by a large margin, and while the breath of life ebbed out of the creature, with it came the unmistakable feeling of remorse.

And in fact, that is the sign of the ethical, caring hunter. While the reasons for subjecting oneself to cold, discomfort and possible injury are varied from hunter to hunter, it is universal to nearly all that the excitement of seeing that fi rst buck is an indescribable feeling. There exists within the human a predatory instinct, and this sensation, I’ve heard, is unlike any rush found outside of the hunt. But after all the excitement, the fact remains, as Curt said, “You’ve taken a life, and that’s never going to feel great.”

The hunters I spoke with weren’t bloodthirsty or aggressive. They didn’t have a score to settle or a desire to harm a living thing.

They were people imbued with a near reverence for Wisconsin’s woodland king, the buck — an animal described in glowing terms as majestic and gorgeous with a near mythical quality about it. Massive antlers are spread out like a crown on a creature that can weigh hundreds of pounds, and yet move about the forest with surprising stealth and silence. They boast a sense of smell that has ruined countless hunters’ hopes, and adjust their sleeping schedule after the advent of hunting season, adapting to the absence of humans at night by becoming nocturnal.

While the gun hunting season in Wisconsin may be looked down upon by some, there is no denying that for many hunters, the sport and prey are deeply respected. The challenge of tracking, hunting, and enduring hours of cold weather, the bonding between friends and family, plus the indescribable rush of “buck fever” are all components behind the appeal of Wisconsin’s hunting season. Or maybe, as in the case of Kite, it’s all about the meat.

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6// December 2, 2010

Second Supper

ARTS

flaming douchebags.

Indeed, the only reason to watch Curse of the Wolf is if you’re curious about the film careers of The Genius or The Blue Meanie. If not, stay far, far away.

— Brett Emerson

The Screening Room

The Arts Review Bizarro Masterpiece Theatre Medium: Film Curse of the Wolf (2006) Director: Len Kabasinski Cast: Lanny Poffo, Renee Porada, Brian “Blue Meanie” Heffron Writer: Len Kabasinski

When I was a young wrestling fan, one of the wrestlers who creeped me out most was Lanny Poffo, known to me as the villainous valedictorian, The Genius. With his Prince Valiant bowl cut, his frightening pedo-stache, and his sinister leer, Poffo cut a villainous figure on appearance alone. Combining this with his propensities to prance around in a graduation gown and recite foppish bad guy poetry made him one of pro wrestling’s legendary creeps.

I suppose that, upon discovering Poffo’s one leading film role, I was hoping to see The Genius leering at wolfmen and reading goofy lycanthrope poetry. It was surprising to instead see Poffo playing the straight man in an incredibly subpar, dickheaded film about a werewolf on the run from her dickheaded pack.

This exhibit contains just about everything I hate about modern horror films, which boils down to one cardinal rule: no matter the gore and violence, a film isn’t horror if the audience doesn’t give a shit about anyone in it. By that rule, this film is highly disqualified. If the filmmakers elected to go the Troma route of splatter slapstick, things might have ended well enough, but instead they chose to make a joyless spectacle disguised behind that humorless veil of dark irony and cool, full of shitty metal tunes and populated by obnoxiously orating wrestlertypes and low-rent porn stars. To say that the action in this film is rather well done is a cheap consolation.

Though I can’t say much for the company he keeps, Poffo’s roughneck fixer is a breath of fresh air in this cesspool. Similarly, the actress who plays the fugitive werewolf actually seems to invest herself in her role, though the writer/director fills her mouth with the same crap that fills the mouths of all his characters. Any scriptwriter who has a woman blame her slight sullenness on maybe being on the rag probably has some lady issues — a prejudice reinforced here by every other scene featuring a woman.

The best character of Curse of the Wolf is The Blue Meanie, a real life pro wrestler who spends his screen time as the wolf pack’s muscle. Whether he’s rambling around clad only in heavily stained tighty whities or punching the hearts out of fools, Meanie is the one consistent joy to be found in this film.

It’s too bad that he’s paired up with a pack of

Medium: Film The Girl Who Kicked the Hornet's Nest (2010) Director: Daniel Alfredson Cast: Noomi Rapace, Michael Nyqvist, Lena Endre Writer: Ulf Ryberg, based on the novel

by Stieg Larsson

Having now seen all three Swedishlanguage film adaptations in Stieg Larsson's Millennium Trilogy, I'm reminded, oddly enough, of Robert Zemeckis' beloved Back to the Future trilogy. The first entry in the ‘80s sci-fi staple is a standalone great film, whereas the second and third installments — still great in their own right — come more or less as a packaged deal, with one leading right into the next. Millennium feels the same way, but unlike Back to the Future, the second and third entries of Millennium (The Girl Who Played with Fire and The Girl Who Kicked the Hornet's Nest) gradually jettison much of what made the first film, The Girl With the Dragon Tattoo, so entertaining. In retrospect, they seemingly belong to an entire different series altogether.

A healthy number of the Hornet's Nest reviews I've read use some variation of the phrase “tying up loose ends,” which is exactly what the film does. It's brooding, titular heroine, Lisbeth Salander (Noomi Rapace), idles for almost the entire flick in either in a hospital bed (recovering from Fire's viscous finale) or a jail cell (awaiting trial for attempted murder). Investigative journalist Mikael Blomkvist and the staff of Millennium magazine split their time between building a case for Lisbeth and gathering evidence on the decades-old, clandestine activities of corrupt Swedish Security Service agents who may have ties to Lisbeth.

Hornet's Nest maintains only a fraction of the pervasive uneasiness and stark overtones that make Dragon Tattoo captivating and Fire tolerable. That's because Hornet's Nest is essentially a mystery without a mystery, a puzzle with no new information to add, no secrets to painstakingly unlock.

Everything is out on the table, and the audience can't help but feel a little bored watching these characters blindly groping to figure everything out. At this point, the forthcoming Hollywood versions are starting to look less like remakes and more like do-overs.

— Nick Cabreza

HOLIDAY REMINDER: Because of the Christmas holiday, there is no edition of Second Supper Dec. 23.

Second Supper

The Majak Mixtape

By Jonathan Majak jonathan.majak@secondsupper.com

Oh WikiLeaks, how are you doing?

You’ve been causing quite the headache for the United States as you continue to release sensitive classified material for basically shits and giggles as well as to correct what you feel are all of the alleged wrongs committed by various sides during the Afghan war. In a weird way, we sort of admire your ability to function as basically a big, grand scale version of Gossip Girl sans Kristen Bell narration (President Obama being the total Serena to Hilary Clinton’s Blair Waldorf). As countries scramble to cover their asses, we take on the WikiLeaks scandal in this week mixtape simply titled “Wiki Wiki Wack.”

First up we have Acid House Kings and their jaunty bit of pop in the form of their song “Are We Lovers Or Are We Friends.”

While the jangly bit of 1960s style pop asks the question about being lover or friends, plenty of countries in the world are most likely questioning whether the United States is friend or frenemy as cables between officials have been posted on WikiLeaks. Pretty much think of it this way: think about if the various conversations you’ve had about your friends with other friends in Facebook messages were posted on the Internet for the world to read. And remember your friend can start a war. And not like a high school,

Medium: Literature Stimulus: Emma Donoghue — Room Anno: 2010

It takes some serious imagination and talent to make one of the most disturbing elements of a tale chronicling years of imprisonment and rape the act of breastfeeding.

This goes hand in hand with the fact that this tale of extreme abuse is told through the perspective of Jack, the wide-eyed and wonderful 5-year-old boy who was born in this prison and who has never left its confines. Considering that the only people he’s known are his mother and their captor, that he hasn’t been weaned — and is obsessively against the idea — is perhaps understandable. But it’s the language he uses in describing the act that gives it its unsettling quality.

In Room, the word “some” means milk, and Jack refers to “having some” as casually as an outsider would describe drinking a glass of water. Rarely has a literary euphemism been used to creepier effect.

This is all in keeping with the greater theme, which is the mutual incomprehension between Jack and the outside world. That outside world, it should be noted, includes the reader, whose cultural solipsism, along

MUSIC “YOU CAN’T SIT WITH US” power struggle but an actual WAR. It’s going to be hella awkward at the United Nations cafeteria at the very least.

Next up is another slice of indie pop/ rock with Mariage Blanc and the tune “Whatever You Say I Am,” which seems to be the anthem of a lot of countries involved in the WikiLeaks scandal. It’s sort of a quandary for everybody involved as Secretary of State Hilary Clinton showed in China. Most of the countries have been taken a, “HATERS GON’ HATE” stance in public, which is as close to diplomacy as we’re probably going to get in this situation.

The situation has pretty much left the United States wanting to get in touch with its inner Lil Kim. No, I don’t mean they are going to show up to the Olympics in just a pasty. I mean, the U.S. has pretty much sent out the message to WikiLeaks, in not so many words, to “Shut up, bitch.” Some have declared WikiLeaks founder Julian Assange to be a terrorist while others have said he has the right to put the information out onto the Internet. We don’t know where we stand on this. All we know is that we’ve learned never to leave a paper or electronic trail about other people because it’s not so hard for somebody to find it and make an Assange out of you.

Buy: Jazmine Sullivan’s new album Love Me Back

YouTube: Noel Kristi’s dead-on parody of hipster It Girl Zooey Deschanel in Hey! The Zooey Deschanel Show

Read: The hot mess that is Kanye West’s twitter at www.twitter.com/KanyeWest

Get your daily dose of Majak magic at the Majak Kingdom blog at www.majakkingdom. blogspot.com with those of Jack’s fictional outside world, is bound to clash with the solipsism of the young prisoner.

At Room’s beginning, Jack is a creature who knows so little of what lies beyond the borders of his prison that he is certain that nothing else exists. This delusion is so complete that he views the television programs he watches as not a series of real elements coming together to form a show but entirely unreal fabrications. He doesn’t believe that trees exist, or other people, or events. As the world is increasingly made real to him, Jack’s sense of routine and habit spirals out of control, and in fact he begins to idealize his imprisonment.

It’s at the points of contact where the reader will feel the most conflict with Jack. It’s easy to sympathize with the victim when in his prison, locked away from the so-called right ideas and behaviors. One does what one must to survive, after all. But once in the so-called real world, Jack’s oddness suddenly becomes unhealthy and disruptive. When he can’t adapt to the spoken and unspoken expectations and standards of a culture he only recently found, he ceases to be seen as a victim and becomes a brat. It was so hard to read this book and not feel a sense of self-reproach as the frustration with Jack builds.

Ultimately, Room is a tale against absolutes and complacent certainty, a brilliant and unique tale of confinement that illuminates the restraints of all who watch.

— Brett Emerson

December 2, 2010 // 7

MUSIC MUSIC

8// December 2, 2010

Second Supper

music directory // December 3 to December 9 FRIDAY,

December 3

Minneapolis

DEWEY'S // 621 St. Paul St. Bitz and Pieces (rock) • 8:30 p.m.

population

THE BAD PLUS // DEC.25-27 Dakota Jazz Club •$30-$40

NIGHTHAWKS TAP // 401 S. Third St. The Wrecks (rock) • 10 p.m.

THE HOLD STEADY, MEAT PUPPETS // DEC. 29 First Avenue • $23.75

NORTH SIDE OASIS // 620 Gillette St. Snakebyte (classic rock) • 9 p.m.

PEARL STREET BREWERY // 1401 St. Andrew St.

Chubba & Cheech (Cheeba) • 5 p.m.

PIGGY'S BLUES LOUNGE // 501 Front St. S. The Shufflin' Duprees (blues) • 8 p.m.

BROTHER ALI, THE HOOD INTERNET // DEC. 31 Marriott City Center • $30-$150 For a certain kind of music fan, namely those that enjoy listening to 95.7 The Rock, Monday night is going to totally kick ass! Saliva, that thundering Southern metal turned rap-rock turned 21st century rock radio institution is coming to town, and we are going to rage! We're not quite sure how the Varsity Club is going to handle a show of this caliber, one biggest rock concerts to roll through town in a while, but we can't wait to find out! Joining Saliva on the bill are Seven Day Sonnet and Star City Meltdown, whom we know nothing about but are probably kick-ass in their own right. All that rock & roll starts at 7 p.m., although doors open at six if you want to get your drink on. Tickets are $16.50 in advance and $18.50 day of show. And if you don’t call in sick the next day, you’re doing it wrong.

JB'SSPEAKEASY // 717 Rose St. Sexy Ester, the Pretty Mama Sisters, Windsor Marie (pop rock) • 10 p.m.

POPCORN TAVERN // 308 S. Fourth St. PETTIBONE RESORT // 333 Park Plaza Dr. The Bourbon Brothers (blues) • 10 p.m. T.U.G.G., Cheech (ByTheWaves fundraiser for Ghana) • 6 p.m.

STONEY CREEK INN // 3060 Kinney Coulee String Ties (bluegrass) • 7:30 p.m.

PIGGY'S BLUES LOUNGE // 501 Front St. S. The Shufflin' Duprees (blues) • 8 p.m.

THE JOINT // 324 Jay St. Mr. Blink f/ Cheech (jamband) • 10 p.m. NEUIE'S VARSITY CLUB // 1920 Ward Ave. Flashback (‘80s rock) • 9 p.m.

THE ROOT NOTE // 114 4th St. S. We Are The Willows, Mouse Pocket, NIGHTHAWKS TAP // 401 S. Third St. Elliot Arms (pop rock) • 8:30 p.m.

The Swampers (rock) • 10 p.m.

THE WAREHOUSE // 324 Pearl St. POPCORN TAVERN // 308 S. Fourth St. Two Ton Anvil, One Can Only Hope, Roster McCabe (jamband) • 10 p.m.

Guilty of Destruction, Xploit, The Affliction (hard rock) • 6:15 p.m.

RED PINES BAR & GRILL // W7305 Hwy Z Don D. Harvey (songwriter) • 7 p.m.

SATURDAY,

December 4

387,970

TOWER OF POWER // DEC.15-16 Dakota Jazz Club •$45-$70

JB'SSPEAKEASY // 717 Rose St. Porcupine, All the Way Rider (hard rock) • 10 p.m.

SHER BEARS // 329 Goddard St. The Fabulous Baloney Skins (rock, country) • 10 p.m.

just a roadie away

THE ARTERIAL // 1003 S. 16th St. Paxico (rock) • 9:30 p.m.

SUNDAY,

December 5

THE BIG WU // DEC. 31 Holliday Inn (Burnsville) • $20 WU-TANG CLAN // JAN. 9 Epic • $30

WEDNESDAY,

December 8

FLIPSIDE PUB AND GRILL // 400 Lang Drive

FRENCH SLOUGH // 1311 La Crescent St. Kin Pickin' (open jam) • 3 p.m.

Songwriter's Corner (X-mas party) • 6 p.m.

POPCORN TAVERN // 308 S. Fourth St. The Blend (rock) • 10 p.m.

NIGHTHAWKS TAP // 401 S. Third St. Bad Axe Jam (gear provided) • 10 p.m.

MONDAY,

December 6

DEL’S BAR // 229 Third St. Open Jam • 10 p.m.

NEUIE'S VARSITY CLUB // 1920 Ward Ave. Saliva, Seven Day Sonnet, Star City Meltdown (modern radio rock) • 7 p.m.

POPCORN TAVERN // 308 S. Fourth St. Shawn's Open jam • 10 p.m.

THE ROOT NOTE // 114 4th St. S. The Brothers Burn Mountain (roots, Americana) • 8:30 p.m.

TUESDAY,

December 7

FOX HOLLOW // N3287 HIGHWAY OA. Abbey Lane & the Back Bone (blues rock) • 9 p.m.

THE JOINT // 324 Jay St. Red Sky Warning, Fifty Fifty (rock, POPCORN TAVERN // 308 S. Fourth St. Dave Orr (open jam) • 10 p.m. folk-rock) • 10 p.m.

HOWIE'S // 1125 La Crosse St. Monkey Wrench (hard rock) • 9:30 p.m.

THE ROOT NOTE // 114 4th St. S. The Big Strong Men (rock) • 8:30 p.m.

THE ROOT NOTE // 114 4th St. S. 3rd Relation Jazz Trio (jazz) • 8:30 p.m.

POPCORN TAVERN // 308 S. Fourth St. Open Jam • 10 p.m.

RECOVERY ROOM // 901 7th St. S. Kin Pickin' (open jam) • 10 p.m.

THURSDAY,

December 9

CARTWRIGHT CENTER // 1725 State St. 1,2,3 Walrus (ska) • 7 p.m.

NIGHTHAWKS TAP // 401 S. Third St. Dave Orr's Damn Jam • 10 p.m.

POPCORN TAVERN // 308 S. Fourth St. Fuzzy HD (rock) • 10 p.m.

STATE ROOM //128 3rd Street N. Nick Shattuck & Joe Gantzer (pop rock) • 6 p.m.

THE STARLITE LOUNGE // 222 Pearl St. Kies and Kompanie (jazz) • 5 p.m.

Second Supper

December 2, 2010 // 9

YOUR GUIDE TO CONSUMPTION

The Beer Review Abt New Glarus Brewing Company New Glarus, Wisconsin

It’s been a few months since I’ve reviewed anything from New Glarus, and as a Wisconsin beer writer I’m pretty sure this puts me behind quota. Every time I walk into a liquor section I seem to find some new NG release on the shelves — with the Back 40 Bock, Apple Ale and Coffee Stout being the latest examples. My personnel refrigerator, though, has the opposite effect.

While digging for leftovers I recently discovered this long-lost bottle of Abt, an autumn “Unplugged” release that I never got around to reviewing.

The Abt itself is a beer like few oth-

ers. Its historic roots run to Belgian monasteries, and the style is so uncommon that I don’t even know how to pronounce Abt. New Glarus claims that the style was originated by Flemish monks who named it after their monastery Abbot. Beer advocate calls this style a Quad or Quadrupel, while other sites classify it as an Imperial Dubbel. By any name, this is one strong, particular mamba jamba that seems better suited for a winter release or, even better, a few years in the beer cellar. It’s no Spotted Cow — it’s not even a Staghorn — but the Abt shows brewmaster Dan Carey’s aptitude for continually pushing the microbrewery envelope.

Purchase: One bottle of Abt, found in the back of my refrigerator

Style: Belgian Quadrupel

Strength: 9.75 percent ABV

Packaging: The traditional Unplugged label features a mustachioed man (who may or may not be Carey; I’ve never seen him) holding a beer stein. Unplugged beers come in 4-packs and are topped with red foil.

Appearance: The Abt pours a dark ruby brown color that’s nearly opaque, even when held to the light. The head is grey and short-lasting but has decent lacing.

Aroma: The first notes are sour and a little yeasty (though not as sour or yeasty as other 2010 Unpluggeds).Then it warms with notes of chocolate-covered cherries, raisins and an elusive woodiness before finishing with sherry-like kick that isn’t as heavy on alcohol as I expected.

Taste: Like the aroma, Abt tastes alternately sour and sweet. It hits the front of the tongue like green apple skins, grows to more chocolaty richness and then dries on crack-

The Best Food & Drink Specials in Town

er-y malts. The yeast is noticeable, and the alcohol esters are pleasant, non-distracting and linger like brandy.

Mouthfeel: Thinner than I expected, but it coats the mouth — and especially the roof — with a sort of wine-y sliminess. The aftertaste is strong.

Drinkability: I’ve never drank more than one Abt in a setting. The flavors would probably keep on giving, but this is a strong beer that I’ve been happily nursing for nearly two hours.

Ratings: BeerAdvocate scores this a B+, and RateBeer scores this a 94. You can still find Abt on many grocer’s shelves, and I’d recommend Abt to anyone with an adventurous palette. It fer sure beats the Back 40 Bock.

— Adam Bissen

LOCATION

SUNDAY

MONDAY

TUESDAY

WEDNESDAY

THURSDAY

ARENA

Text "Arena" to 83361 for Specials

Texas Hold 'Em Poker

Pool and dart leagues

Wyld Wednesday: $2 jumbo UV mixers, $2 Coronas

Ladies Night: Ladies drink free 9-11 $1 Cherry Bombs, $1 Keystone Light p.m. or all night with $5 wristband, silos including all UV Vodkas & XXX; $5 Long island pitchers

BROTHERS

Cllosed

$2.50 Coors vs. Keystone pitchers. All specials 9 p.m. to close

AUC2D: $5, domestic taps, rail mix- Free wing Wednesday Dec. 8; $1 Wristband Night ers, Long Islands. All specials 9 p.m. Miller High Life bottles, $1.50 rail (Open at 7 p.m. on Thanksgiving) to close mixers; $2.50 call drinks. All specials 9 p.m. to close.

Kill the Kegs free beer 9 p.m.-'til?

Ladies' Late Night: 1 a.m. to close, ladies drink free 1 a.m. to close domestic taps, rails & Long Islands

Kill the Kegs free beer 9 p.m.-'til?

Ladies' Late Night: 1 a.m. to close, ladies drink free 1 a.m. to close domestic taps, rails & Long Islands

COCONUT JOE'S

Closed

Closed

$2 Select Appetizers, $1 coors light Wings! $1.50 for 1 pound of wings. pints/rails, $2 u – call –it’s $1.50 Miller Lite

$3 jumbo Captain/Bacardi drinks all night

$3 jumbo Captain and Bacardi drinks all night

EAGLES NEST

$5 domestic pitchers

$1.50 domestic taps and rail drinks, 4 p.m. to close

Bird Brain Trivia 8 p.m.; $1.50 do- Wing Night - 25-cent wings (dine- $1.50 domestic bottles and rail mestic bottles and rails 4 p.m. to in only); $1 Miller High Life silos and drinks, $2 craft bottles, 4 p.m. to close PBR silos; $1.50 taps and rail drinks; close $2 craft taps. All specials 4 to close.

Happy Hour: 2 for 1 domestic bottles and rail drinks, 3 p.m. to 9 p.m.

Karaoke 9 p.m. to close

Taco buffet 11-2; $1 Pabst bottles and $1 bowling after 9

All you care to eat pizza buffet, 11-2

All you care to eat fish fry 4-10; unlimited Glow-N-Bowl $9.99

Prime rib dinner 4-10; unlimited Glow-N-Bowl $9.99

All you can eat wings, includes a Wisconsin cheese steak sandwich choice of potatoe, slaw and a frosted with a pint of beer, $8.99 pint, 4-9:30 p.m., $8.99

Ladies Night, $1 off all drinks, 4 to All you can eat boneless wings, inclose; Pint-Aritas $3 (lime or straw- cludes a choice of potatoe, slaw and berry) a frosted pint, 4-9:30 p.m., $8.99 $5 AUC2D wristbands: domestic taps, rail mixers, Long Islands, 9 p.m. to close; karaoke 9 p.m. to close

107 3rd St. S. 782-1883, www.arenalax.com

306 Pearl St. 784-0522

128 3rd St. 782-9192

1914 Campbell Road 782-7764

FEATURES

W3923 State Highway 16 786-9000

FLIPSIDE PUB & GRILL 400 Lang Drive 784-2242

Wristband Night

IMPULSE

$5 AUC2D wristbands: domestic taps, rail mixers, Long Islands, 9 p.m. to close; live DJ, dancing 9 p.m. to close

Alcohol-free night, 7 p.m. to 2 a.m., $5 AUC2D wristbands: domestic for ages 25 and younger; live DJ, taps, rail mixers, Long Islands, 9 p.m. dancing, giveaways, AUC2D soda, to close; karaoke 9 p.m. to close $10 cover

JB’S SPEAKEASY

$1.75 domestic bottles, $1.75 Dom bottles and rails, $2.50 Bombs

Monday Madness: $1.75 domestics Tuesday Boozeday $1 off all liquor Happy Hour 5 to 7 p.m. and rails, $2.50 Bombs, $1 off all top drinks and 50 cents off all shots, $2 shelf and specialty beers Bombs

$1.79 burger (after 8 p.m.)

Breakfast 8 a.m. to 2 p.m.

Hat Night: Buy 1 drink, get 1 free w/ Rail drinks $2 (4:30 to close); Buckets of beer $10, Boston Bobby's Margaritas $4 (Straw, rasp, mango, hat (4:30 to close); $1.50 chili dogs After 8 p.m. specials: $5 skewer of drummies 10 for $2 (4:30 to close), peach and reg); After 8 p.m. specials: (after 8 p.m.) shrimp,l $1.79 burger, $1.50 chili dogs $1.79 burger (after 8 p.m.) $5 skewer of shrimp, $1.79 burger

214 Main St. 782-6010

717 Rose St. 796-1161

SCHMIDTY’S 3119 State Road 788-5110

SLOOPY'S ALMA MATER

$1 Cherry Bombs, $1 Keystone Light silos

$5 wristband happy hour, 5 to 9 p.m; live DJ, dancing 9 p.m. to close

Happy Hour 5 to 7 p.m.

Happy Hour 5 to 7 p.m.

Tacos: $11 buckets during pro and Tacos: $11 buckets during pro and college football games. college football games.

Happy Hour 2 to 6 p.m.

12-inch pizza $8.99 Happy Hour 2 to 6 p.m.

THE LIBRARY

Wristband Night

Half price tequilla, $1 domestic taps Karaoke, $2 Double rails and all Wristband night, $2 cherry bombs, and rails bottles; $3 Double call drinks 50¢ shots (3 flavors) Closed on Thanksgiving

TOP SHOTS

SATURDAY

Free Wing Night (while supplies last); $5 wristband happy hour, 5 to 9 p.m; $5 AUC2D wristbands: domestic taps, live DJ, dancing 9 p.m. to close rail mixers, Long Islands, 9 p.m. to close; live DJ, dancing 9 p.m. to close

163 Copeland Ave. 785-0245 123 3rd St. 784-8020

14-inch pizza, $2 off; Wings Happy Hour 2 to 6 p.m.

FRIDAY

Happy Hour 5 to 7 p.m.

Breakfast 8 a.m. to 2 p.m.; lunch buffet 11 a.m. to 2 p.m., $6.99

Ladies night, 2 for 1 drinks (6-close), Happy Hour 2 to 6 p.m.

Happy Hour 2 to 6 p.m.

Tacos: $11 buckets during pro and college football games.

$2 U Call Its 7 p.m. to close, Calls, rails, $2 U Call Its 7 p.m. to close, Calls, bottles and more rails, bottles and more

$5 Pitchers/$2 bottles of Miller prod- $1.75 Miller/Bud Light Taps, $2.25 $1.75 Rails, $1.50 Domestic Taps, $2 domestic bottles, $2.50 Skyy/ ucts (11-4pm) $2 Corona Bottles, $2 MIcro/Craft Taps, $2.50 Cherry Bombs $3.50 Jager Bombs Absolut mixers, $2 Dr. shots (7-1 Kilo Kai Mixers , $3 Bloodys (7-1 a.m.) (7-1 a.m.)

(7-1 a.m.) a.m.)

5 Domestic Bottles for $10, $5 $2 Captain Mixers, $2. Long Island Micro/Import Bottles $11.50, $7 Mixers, $3 Effen Vodka Mixers (7-1 Micro/Craft Pitchers (7-1 a.m.) a.m.)

$5 Miller/Bud Light Pitchers, $2.25 Leinies Bottles (7-1 a.m.)

POPCORN TAVERN

$2 16oz Old Style & Lost Lake cans 2.50 Captain Mixers

$2 16oz Old Style & Lost Lake cans 1.75 PBR bottles 2.50 Captain Mixers

$2 16oz Old Style & Lost Lake cans 2.50 Captain Mixers

$2 Grain Belt $2.50 Captain Mixers

$2 16oz Old Style & Lost Lake cans $2 16oz Old Style & Lost Lake cans 2.50 Captain Mixers $2 Coors and Coors Light Bottles and $2.50 Skyy Mixers

$2 16oz Old Style & Lost Lake cans

WHISKEY RIVER SALOON

Closed

Closed

Closed

Comedy Night

Mechanical Bull Riding, $2 Miller Lite and $2 Shots of Dr.

Live Band and DJ, $3 Bacardi and Captain Drinks 7-10pm

Live Band and DJ, $3 Bacardi and Captain Drinks 7-10pm

WHO'S ON THIRD

$2.00 Domestic taps/ $2.00 rails

$1.50 tap of PBR/ $1.50 rails

$3.00 call doubles/ $2.00 Bud products

$2.00 all tap beer/ $3.00 Jack/Captain doubles

$8.50 Fishbowls/ $2.00 Miller products

$2.00 Domestic taps/ $2.00 Three $2.00 Bartenders choice mixer Olive products

137 4th St. 782-6622 308 4th St. S. 782-9069

223 Pearl St. 784-2337

126 3rd St. N. 782-9467

10// December 2, 2010

Maze Efflux

Second Supper

DIVERSIONS "5CC injection, stat!"

It's not a lot, but it makes a difference

By Erich Boldt

By Matt Jones

614 Main St., La Crosse, WI 54601 Phone: (608) 782-7001 Online: secondsupper.com Publisher: Roger Bartel roger.bartel@secondsupper.com Editor in Chief: Adam Bissen adam.bissen@secondsupper.com Student Editor: Emily Faeth emily.faeth@secondsupper.com Sales: Mike Keith mike.keith@secondsupper.com Sales: Ansel Ericksen ansel.ericksen@secondsupper.com Sales: Michael Butteris michael.butteris@secondsupper.com Regular Contributors: Amy Alkon, Erich Boldt, Nick Cabreza, Mary Catanese, Brett Emerson, Jake Groteuschen, Shuggypop Jackson, Jonathan Majak, Matt Jones, Carolyn Ryan, Julie Schneider, Anna Soldner, Nate Willer Ralph Winrich Cover illustration by Tommy Orrico Second Supper is a weekly alternative newspaper published by Bartanese Enterprises LLC, 614 Main St., La Crosse, WI 54601

ACROSS 1 "Rub-a-dub-dub, three men in ___..."

5 They get busier in the winter: abbr.

9 Visibly took notice 14 Frank Herbert classic 15 Sabermetrician's data 16 Kitchenaid competitor 17 Guy who voted Republican in 2008?

19 Ox stocks 20 Critical hosp. wing 21 Word after both "he" and "she" 22 Most confident 23 1997 movie to be rereleased in 3D in 2012 25 "___ little time..."

26 Gripper used only on roads?

31 Melissa Etheridge's "___ Am"

34 Grope (around) 35 Obnoxious laugh sound 36 "Convoy" singer C.W. representing the U.S.?

41 "___ blimey!"

42 Comfort 43 Checklist component 44 Clip from a 1983 Mr. T. comedy?

49 Crimson Tide 50 Habitrail walker 54 Aesop's stories 56 It replaced the Belgian franc 57 "Yay, toreador!"

58 Van Gogh locale 59 Place where everything just...happens?

61 "Mr. Belvedere" mom ___ Graff 62 Panda Express cookers 63 Away from the wind 64 Rich cake

Answers to Nov. 18 puzzle

Drug agent — The further adventures of Agent 00-420

65 Prefix meaning "inside" 66 In ___ (inherently) DOWN 1 Let in or let on 2 Stanley of "The Lovely Bones" 3 Like some director's editions 4 She was Dorothy on "The Golden Girls" 5 1997 Nicolas Cage movie 6 Pedicure stone 7 Barely 8 Nine-digit ID 9 Give up, in a schoolyard way 10 Without scruples 11 Suffers 12 Singles, in France 13 History 18 Ain't right?

22 "Attack, Fido!"

24 Fertile Crescent locale 27 ___ up (screwy, slangily) 28 Bag contents, often 29 Spray that burns 30 Baby carriage, in

Britain 31 1970s disco staple 32 Green subj.

33 Doodle doer 37 Words that follow "Hmmm..."

38 National Soccer Hall of Famer Alexi 39 Sugary suffix 40 Messy food 45 Knack 46 Public Enemy #1?

47 David of "CSI: Miami" 48 Love, in La Paz 51 Belt contents 52 Cary of "Saw" 53 Actress Zellweger 54 ___ accompli 55 Folk singer Guthrie 56 Nobel Prize category, for short 59 Be short 60 South Korea's Roh ___ Woo For answers, call (900) 226-2800, 99 cents per minute. Or to bill to a credit card, call (800) 655-6549. Reference puzzle #0493.

Writers Wanted Second Supper is looking to add freelance writers to write community features. Send letter of introduction, topic ideas and 500-word sample(s) to editor@secondsupper.com.

Second Supper

December 2, 2010 // 11

THE LAST WORD

The ADviCe GODDess

By Amy Alkon amy.alkon@secondsupper.com Laddy Gaga

I'm a 26-year-old guy who’s been on 30 dates this year in hopes of finding a woman to build a long, healthy relationship with, but I only ended up with a few notches in my belt. Last night, I went out with a girl who shook my world.

I've never fallen for somebody so quickly, and the thought of her not liking me tore me apart inside.

We met on a dating website when she wrote to say my profile was “cute” and so was I. On our date, however, I got the impression she wasn’t too interested because she rarely made eye contact and didn’t smile much. I couldn't sleep last night, as I was so depressed at the thought of her not liking me or being in my life. So, how should I healthily pursue her? She said she wanted to go out again, but many girls say that and don’t mean it. I’m waiting 48 hours to call so I don’t seem desperate.

I'm an emotional guy, and the thought of her not liking me is SO hurtful that this will take a while to get over — if I ever do.

— Destroyed

It can be devastating, the prospect of losing a woman after building a life with her and weathering tough times together.

As for this woman, what have you weathered together, whether to take a table or sit at the bar?

Yet, after a single date, you whimper, “The thought of this girl not liking me is SO hurtful that this will take a while to get over — if I ever do.” What are you, 12? OK, it’s frustrating and even depressing to keep looking for “the one” and only come up with the one-night stands, but get a grip.

You’re coming to the conclusion that you might have to date more, not that you’ll die trapped under a rock unless you hack off your right arm with the business end of a drinking straw.

While you can feel instantly blown away by somebody, an immediate obsession with a woman you’ve known for maybe three hours stems more from where you are in your life than anything real and substantial about her. But, say you knew her better.

Pursuing her in a healthy way would involve merely preferring that she want you back.

Demanding it (or your life will be ruined, just ruined!) is irrational, misery-producing baby behavior — the equivalent of stamping your feet and huffi ng, “The universe should be nice to me! In fact, the universe should give me a cookie!”

Waiting 48 hours before calling might make you seem less desperate — assuming you don’t pass the time by hyperventilating that you can’t possibly live without her. (Sure

you can. You’ve done it for 26 years.) There’s a good chance you’ve already leaked enough desperation to set off her creep-dar. Short of fi nding yourself a doctor who can induce a coma with telephone privileges, you’ll have your best shot if you can calm yourself enough to come off like you’re just hoping to spend Friday night with her, not the rest of your life. In the future, if you can’t be more realistic, at least be more practical. It can be reasonable to decide that some woman absolutely must be yours — if she’s the sort of woman you pick up in an adult bookstore, then take home and blow up with your bike pump.

an attraction if he just makes enough of an effort. Unfortunately, that’s not how attraction works. And, good intentions aside, it’s cruel to be with somebody one secretly fi nds “vulgar” from the neck down. Luckily for you, the problem of having an hourglass fi gure and “very large breasts” is right up there with the problem of owning way too much beachfront property. The sooner you end it, the sooner you’ll be reminded of that, and the sooner your boyfriend can get with a woman he’s really into — one who’s less classic hourglass than classic Heineken bottle.

Hourglass half-empty

I’m the classic hourglass-figured woman, with very large breasts. I recently discovered that my boyfriend is into women with boyish bodies and flat chests. In fact, he finds big breasts “vulgar.”

(I saw a YouTube video he made with his friends this summer, and he was very vocal about his preferences.) This confirms my suspicions that he isn’t physically into me. I’m ending it, but wondering why we’re even together.

— Disappointed

You’ve got what so many guys want — that classic movie star body. Unfortunately, the movie star body your boyfriend goes for is that of the guy who plays Harry Potter.

He’s probably bought into the idea that it’s shallow to dismiss a girl just because she’s got cantaloupes in her bra instead of raisins. Maybe he thinks he can work up

Downtown La Crosse, above Fayzes - 782-6622

top shots joke of the week A group of friends went deer hunting and paired off in twos for the day.

That night, one of the hunters returned alone, staggering under the weight of an eight-point buck.

"Where's Henry?"

"Henry had a stroke of some kind. He's a couple of miles back up the trail."

Check out our new Beers on Tap!

"You left Henry laying out there and carried the deer back!?!"

"A tough call," nodded the hunter, "but I figured no one is going to steal Henry."

Good People, Good Drinks, Good Times

SUNDAY

MONDAY TUESDAY

$1.75 - Miller/Bud Taps $5 Pitchers $2 Bottles of Miller Products (11-4 pm) $2.25 Micro/Craft Taps $2.50 Cherry Bombs $2 Corona Bottles (7-1am) $2 Kilo Kai Mixers $3 Bloody’s (7-1am)

$1.75 Rails $1.50 Domestic Taps $3.50 Jager Bombs (7-1am)

$2.00 - 1 Player, $3.00 - 2 Players 50 Cents Off Drinks, $1 Off Pitchers

WEDNESDAY $2 Domestic Bottles $2.50 Skyy/Absolute Mixers $2 Dr. Shots (7-1am)

THURSDAY FRIDAY 5 Domestic Bottles 4 $10 $5 Micro/Import Bottles $11.50, $7 Micro/Craft Pitchers (7-1am)

$5 Miller Lite/Bud Light Pitchers

SATURDAY $2.25 Leinies Bottles (7-1am)

$2 Captain Mixers $2 Long Islands $3 Effen Vodka Mixers (7-1am)

12// December 2, 2010

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