Happy Festivus by Second Supper

Airing of Grievances Page 6

Year in Review Page 7

PLUS: PUNK IS NOT DEAD • PAGE 5 | AULD LANG MIXTAPE • PAGE 7| TOP 10 VIDEO GAMES OF 2010 • PAGE 10

2// December 30, 2010

Second Supper

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Second Supper

Things To Do Do the "Stanky Legg"

The Top 2010 Buzzwords 1. Tea Party 2. Obamacare 3. Junk shot 4. Shellacking 5. Double rainbow 6. Mama grizzly 7. Vuvuzela 2010 folk heroes 1. Steven Slater 2. Julian Assange 3. Conan O'Brien 4. Drew Brees 5. Bernie Sanders 6. Chilean miners 7. Snooki

December 30, 2010 // 3

FIRST THINGS FIRST

If you’re in high school, a YouTube fanatic or a hip-hop completest, chances are you know the “Stanky Legg.” Perchance, you even know how to do it. But even if you don’t, you can still check out the viral Texas hitmakers The GS Boyz when they top a local hip-hop bill Jan. 16 at the Varsity Club Baus Haus. The Sunday night show is billed as a Martin Luther King Day concert and will also feature performances from local rappers Mario Street, Tez, Looney Mob and the rising Chicago group The Krank It Up Boyz. Tickets for the 7 p.m. all-ages show are $15 for students and military personnel, $20 for everyone else. But the show is also a charity fundraiser benefitting the Salvation Army, Boys and Girls Club and Capable Canines, so if you bring non-perishable food items or clothing to donate, tickets are $5 off. Purchase tickets in advance at 2Fifteen Clothing, Varsity Club, Citgo North and Citgo South.

The future of journalism: Feast or famine?

With the downsizing that is occurring in the news media, and the burgeoning use of electronic devices and the Internet, how do citizens get comprehensive, accurate news that they can trust? That’s the theme of a panel discussion that will be held Tuesday, Jan. 11 at the Southside Neighborhood Center, 1300 Sixth St., beginning at 5:30 p.m. Entitled “Democracy Feeds on News: Who Cooks Yours?” participants on the panel will include Rusty Cunningham, publisher of the La Crosse Tribune, John Gaddo, Wisconsin Public Radio’s regional manager, and Drake Hokanson, professor of media/communications at Winona State University. The event is free and will be moderated by Tom Van der Linden, a former newspaper owner, publisher and editor.

Look! Up in the sky!

If you are longing to see a spectacular fireworks display before the 4th of July, then have no fear because the New Year’s Eve display is near. On Dec. 31, join the La Crosse Skyrockers as they host a great fireworks show from the top of ol’ Grandad’s Bluff. All you have to do is set up your car facing east and watch the sky fill up with beautiful colors. Hourly countdown salutes will start at noon and continue on the hour, with a 6 p.m. show lasting about 10 minutes that is perfect for little tykes. The midnight show will last 15 to 20 minutes and will be the grand finale to 2010! Tune in to WLFNAM 1490 or WXOW-TV 19 for coverage of the entire event, or head to www.skyrockers.org for more information.

Attend LCT’s annual meeting

The La Crosse Community Theatre will hold its annual meeting Jan. 25, 2011 at 5:30 p.m. at the theatre at 118 Fifth Ave. N. All patrons, season ticket holders, friends of LCT and other volunteers are invited to attend as participating members. As required by by-law, the meeting will feature the election of officers and directors, as well as a year in review by outgoing president Chuck Roth. The meeting is open to all, and there will be a time for questions and answers about the current and future status of LCT.

Be Safe; drink beer and eat pizza

Sample over 30 beers from area brewers and munch on wings and homemade 30-inch pizzas at the Suds N’ Grub Beer Festival on Jan. 8 from 2 to 6 p.m. at Neuie’s Varsity Club. Tickets are $20 per person in advance and $25 at the door. Proceeds will be donated to the Tavern League Foundation for the “Safe Ride” program. Call 608-738-3722 for more information.

4// December 30, 2010

COMMENTARY

Letter to the Editor I always like to reminisce about punks gone by. I remember coming to La Crosse and seeing all the people with dyed hair and liberty spikes on seemingly every street corner downtown and thinking that this was going to be a great place to go to school. I remember going to my first show at the Warehouse; Nil-8 and the Blue Meanies with Smokebomb (a local workhorse ska band that was on seemingly every ska-punk bill in the area for like five years) opening up. I remember starting my first band and playing our first show opening for USV and the Krammies, and I remember when our underage drummer got himself grounded and couldn’t play a show and Nate Deml (USV’s original drummer) volunteered to sit in for us until the show fell through. I remember it felt a lot like community. I also remember that the Krammies were mainly a seriously political hardcore act, USV was rather the same, and though beer was certainly drunk I don’t remember the scene being particularly “beer fueled.” I remember that the Warehouse (a nonalcoholic club) was pretty much the epicenter of that scene, which would have made such a thing difficult. But that’s just a minor difference of opinion. My main issue is with the notion of punk rock in La Crosse being once again “dead.” The simple fact is that for a number of years there in the early to mid-nineties, it was positively cool to be a punk. The bands were all over the radio and MTV, the underground was booming and it was for

pretty much the first time possible to make a decent living off of indie music, and the culture diffused its way into the popular consciousness, spawning thousands of punk rock minded kids. And the simple fact is that that is no longer the case. The fad has passed, and punk is no longer cool. But that doesn’t make it dead; in many ways (and for much of its existence as a counter cultural identity) punk has always been the antithesis of cool. Punk didn’t die, it just went back to its freak scene roots; the kids who are into it are certainly not as numerous as in years past, and certainly not as marketable, but that doesn’t mean they deserve to be marginalized. But, again, the simple fact is that it is easier to declare punk dead than it would be to dig through obscurity for it. Easier to pull the metaphorical plug than to admit that the only reason you spiked your hair or bought the studded jacket was because most of your friends already had one. Everybody wants to keep the ideals of their youth pure in their memory. Likewise, it is easier to just go to a bar and listen to some band playing songs you already know the words to than to take the chance on an original band that you might not like. And, hey, even if they suck, at least you got drunk. It’s easier to review such bands as well, when you only have to focus on how well the song was physically played with no subtle analysis of content required. And I do understand the financial reality of running a newspaper, and I understand that the road most traveled by is the obvious choice if one wants to stay

Second Supper

fiscally viable. What I don’t understand is the sheer preponderance of coverage afforded to bands that are simply repurposing mass media while not contributing anything original to the scene. Isn’t there a happy medium that could be struck? The point is that although the path of least resistance generally makes the most sense, there are times when it simply doesn’t take you where you want to go. After all; how hard would it have been to contact the only punk band listed in your review and find out what they were about? I’ll guarantee that that story would have been more interesting than the old “punk is dead” riff; which has been making the rounds since the Clash signed to a major and went reggae. How hard would it have been to focus on the phenomenal talents of Hyphon and Efftupp in the hip-hop scene now rather than waxing nostalgic about the people who left? How hard would it have been to showcase the astounding variety in the Hard Rock/Metal scene instead of just interviewing the lead singer of Orwell (nothing against the guy, but Killian’s Fault has been playing in this town for years as well, they didn’t deserve a quote or two?) I’ve been playing in bands in this area for 15 years or so now, and I can tell you that there are two phrases that are simply legion. The first is: “Five years ago…” It was always five years ago when all the cool stuff was happening, when all the good bands were here. When USV were kings, there were people who would tell you that these kids today didn’t even understand punk; when the Sweet Nothings were at their peak, people would tell you they didn’t even qualify as punk next to the Krammies. And in the evidently non-existent scene today there are people who will go on and on about how awesome it was five years ago when the Cockney Americans were going off. There’s always a better time that you were just sadly too late for, because (and this is the other anathema phrase): “The scene here is a joke, all the good bands leave.” And you say, wait, why do all the good bands leave? Because the scene is a joke. And why is the scene a joke? Because all the good bands leave. This, my friend, is a circular argument, and it simply doesn’t hold up. If the scene is a joke, it is only because you’re laughing. And that goes for every kid in a band that’s just dreaming about the day when they can move to a bigger town, every kid (or journalist) at a show pining for what used to be instead of appreciating what is. The scene will only ever be taken seriously when you take your commitment to it seriously. That’s about all I have. I’ll say thanks to you folks at the Second Supper if you’re still reading. Even if we don’t agree, it’s always good to share opinions. And if you stopped reading, well, thanks anyway. Whether or not I agree with your conclusions or your methods, you’re still covering the scene, and that’s something you don’t need to do. So thank you. Nick Leitzen. Elisabeth Leitzen, Alex Spiegel (The Disabled) Co-founders: Mob Front Records

Second Supper

Social Networking

NAME AND AGE:

Andy Voelkel, 245 months

WHERE WERE YOU BORN? Waukesha Memorial Hospital CURRENT JOB: Recording engineer DREAM JOB: Cheese taste tester LAST THING YOU GOOGLED: How to make a hot toddy IF YOU COULD LIVE ANYWHERE IN THE WORLD, WHERE WOULD IT BE? An island in the Caribbean

WHAT IS SOMETHING YOU WANT TO DO BEFORE YOU DIE: Hike the Appalachian Trail

WHAT IS YOUR BEVERAGE OF CHOICE? Dancing Goats from jules CELEBRITY CRUSH: Mary-Louise Parker

WHAT BOOK ARE YOU CURRENTLY READING? Sabbath's Theater by Phillip Roth

WHAT IS YOUR GUILTIEST PLEASURE? Katy Perry

December 30, 2010 // 5

COMMUNITY WHAT IS YOUR BIGGEST PET PEEVE? Passive-aggressive political statements (i.e. bumper stickers, FB statuses, etc.) TELL US A JOKE: Why does a chicken coop only have two doors? Because if it had four doors, it'd be a chicken sedan. WHAT ONE PERSON ALIVE OR DEAD WOULD YOU WANT TO HAVE DINNER WITH? Aldo Leopold WHAT'S THE LAST THING YOU BOUGHT? An ugly sweater

WHAT'S IN YOUR POCKET RIGHT NOW?: Two pencils, a weird shaped pen, my phone, some chapstick, a crackerjack prize, my wallet, my leatherman, and some candy wrappers.

IF A GENIE GRANTED YOU ONE WISH, WHAT WOULD YOU ASK FOR? Virtuosity on every musical instrument FIRST CONCERT YOU WENT TO: John Mayer and Maroon 5 with my mom WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE PART OF SECOND SUPPER? The beer review HOW DO YOU KNOW ALLYSSA (LAST WEEK'S INTERVIEW? Pseudo-roommate — Compiled by Shuggypop Jackson, shuggypop.jackson@secondsupper.com

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6// December 30, 2010

Second Supper

COMMUNITY

The Airing of Grievances

In this annual Festivus tradition, Second Supper staffers call out everyone who dissapointed us in the past year.

We got a lot of problems with you people!

Adam Bissen

First off, let me have a word with the spineless assholes that broke into our office this year. Does Second Supper really seem like the sort of evil corporation that deserves pillaging? Shiiii, does it even seem like we make enough money to have something worth stealing? No, you little pricks, we’re barely getting by as it is, and you heisting three computers and a digital camera sure didn’t help anything. Every time I put around on this dinosaur Dell, I think of you. And to whatever junkie jerkoff has our equipment now, I hope you got your 50 bucks worth. Browse our hard drives to see the five years of our lives that you robbed, slime. Next up: Democrats. If you think a comprehensive health care overhaul is an election issue to run away from, check with your HMO to see if you’re covered for a spine transplant. You deserve every seat you lost. And you pathetic right-wingers can wipe the smirks off your faces, too. Ground Zero Mosque, “restoring honor,” Death Panels, immigration reform — is there any political issue or even forward progress that you won’t corrupt with your vicious doublespeak? Kiss off Brett Favre, Cam Newton, LeBron James and Ken Macha. You better bring it in 2011, Brew Crew. And double kiss off to Four Loko, K2 and indoor smoking. You were never that great in the first place.

Brett Emerson

Two-thousand ten was a year in which I got off the fence on a lot of issues. So, in no particular order, here are a few groups of assholes I could do without: rabid religious zealots whose core beliefs are threatened by cartoons, condescending religious zealots who assume that the heathens will one day join the right team, teams in general, technology cultists, drug cultists, those who confuse national security with a government official’s job security, the acolytes of trickle down economics (especially the poor ones), corporations that are treated as humans in the eyes of the law, congressional hijackers, lefties who lack the courage of their convictions, the willfully offended, people who spawn by default, anyone who makes a public apology (ever, for any reason), anyone directly involved in not arresting the heads of BP for crimes against humanity, congressmen who publicly apologized to

ON THE COVER

From left, Julie Schneider, Jason Crider, Adam Bissen, Bri Rupel, Ashly Conrad and Ansel Ericksen gather 'round the Festivus Pole at The Cavalier, the Fifth Avenue watering hole now owned by Second Supper's own Shuggypop Jackson. Visit Shuggypop next month when the Cavalier has its grand opening.

the heads of BP for the inconvenience, the architects of China’s crybaby Confucius award, the increasingly obsolete mainstream news media, the manufacturers of Swedish condoms, self-righteous and pompous scenesters, long-winded video game developers, government run liquor stores, figureheads, and those who substitute action with voting. (And by the way, Wisconsin, you really embarrassed yourself this November.)

Emily Faeth

Way back in the summer of 2008, I wrote an article for this here publication discussing the Indra Book case. You remember it: a young local woman gave birth alone in a bathtub, she received no medical care (she’d allegedly told no one about the pregnancy), the infant died, and its body was placed in a cooler and later thrown out with the garbage. The story was splashed across the front page of local papers throughout the summer; everyone, it seemed, had an opinion regarding the best way to execute the offender. The point I tried to make in the article I wrote two and a half years ago wasn’t to defend Book; rather, I was disgusted by the media circus and exploitation that resulted from the case. What our community needed, I thought, was to take a serious look at our attitudes toward sexuality, to consider what went wrong in Book’s case, where the disconnect in information regarding her options lay. Rather than viewing the tragedy as some sick form of entertainment, I thought, perhaps we as a community might be able to assess ways in which to prevent such things from happening again. Well, here we are, two and a half years later, and it seems I may have underestimated the power of tragedy when it comes to selling newspapers. Our favorite media darling is back on the front pages again; this time, it’s for various probation violations — though surely detailing each and every probation violation in La Crosse County is hardly standard practice. And once again, the sharpest minds of La Crosse are taking to the comment sections, detailing how they would have handled the prosecution of this “vicious psychopath.” And here I am, once again, not defending Book, but asking why we as a community have such an insatiable desire to seek entertainment in the tragic life story of one of our members. Sure, it’s easy to pat oneself on the shoulder, assure one’s self of his or her moral superiority in the privacy of an Internet comment section. What’s harder, though, is taking a look at ourselves and ascertaining why we derive so much pleasure from the pain of others. Maybe in 2011, we’ll finally stop capitalizing on tragedy, climb down off our moral high

CONTINUED ON PAGE 11

Second Supper

ARTS

Nick's Top 10 Films of 2010 By Nick Cabreza nicholas.cabreza@secondsupper.com 10. A Prophet — Like last year's Gomorrah, the gritty prison/crime film A Prophet portrays criminal life in all its shockinglyviolent, amoral glory. Protagonist Malik's prison-time metamorphosis from scared, petty hood to hardened crime boss is one of the most detailed, visceral transformations offered to American audiences this year. 9. Mother — South Korean auteur Bong Joon-ho's odd amateur-sleuth procedural Mother remains gleefully unpredictable for the entirety of its 128-minute run-time. It's a lurid, darkly-comic thriller that subverts the conventional ways films tell stories, with each repeat viewing feeling like a wholly unique experience. 8. Get Low — The sweet, hilarious period piece Get Low draws from deep within the well of raw human emotion. This simple, unfaltering story says more about the human need for redemption than any film this year, and it does so with a combination of heartfelt pathos and wry humor that evokes simultaneous reactions of sorrow and joy. 7. The Social Network — Obsession seems to be a theme in many of the movies populating this list, but none exemplifies it more than The Social Network, David Fincher's enthralling dramatization of the founding of Facebook. This dense, behind-thescenes peek of history in the making rolls along at breakneck pace, carrying with it weighty themes and some of the year's most well-crafted characters. 6. Let Me In — This remake omits a key revelation that makes the Swedish original especially affecting, yet it still manages to hit the same eerie notes in quietly different ways. It maintains the original's gloomy tone, while rendering its dreary setting in a much deeper focus and making its arc of wrenching isolation and hopelessness more pronounced and direct. 5. Winter's Bone — It's hard to say what aspect of Winter's Bone plays the biggest role in its overall success: the cold, decimated landscape of its withered Ozark community; a plot that traverses a looming threat of sudden, grizzly violence; or the ironclad resolve of Jennifer Lawrence's matriarchal protagonist to locate her meth-cooker father and support her family. Director Debra Granik melds them all into a stunning neo-noir that's equal parts depressing and optimistic.

4. Black Swan — With Black Swan, director Darren Aronofsky combines the claustrophobic paranoia of his first film, Pi, and the delusional, destructive ambition of his last film, The Wrestler. The gradual unraveling of Natalie Portman's sweet-but-psychotic ballerina is more a ride to enjoy than a puzzle to ponder. Here's a psychological thriller paradoxically crystal-clear in its maddening disorientation. 3. Inception — The most ambitious, complex and entertaining sci-fi actioner in years, Christopher Nolan's Inception suffuses an elaborate three-tiered, dreams-within-dreams heist mission with elements of a haunting, cryptic psychodrama, resulting in a movie as disquieting as it is thrilling. Consider the bar raised. 2. True Grit — This is a perfect movie — a traditional, sure-footed western that cares deeply for its characters and gracefully builds a simple, profound bond between them, doing so with a treasure trove of aggressive, witty dialogue (much of it supposedly direct from Charles Portis's novel) that makes each individual, visually-stunning scene feel like a round of verbal sparing. Who knew that a Coen brothers western would be so funny, sentimental and even enchanting? 1. Toy Story 3 — The climax of Toy Story 3 is a singular, devastating scene stretched out so unbearably long that viewers can't help but cling to their fond memories of this beloved franchise as they flash before their eyes. It's an unspeakable low that precedes a gratifying high, with a triumphant, heartfelt final scene that imbues the series with an assured, self-preserving timelessness. It makes this the most affecting film of the year, and guarantees that this flawless trilogy will live on as each generation passes it down to the next. Some honorable mentions: Exit Through the Gift Shop, I Am Love, The Kids Are All Right, Scott Pilgrim Vs. The World, Shutter Island, The Square From the “Heard it's good but haven't seen it yet” front: Animal Kingdom, Another Year, Blue Valentine, Carlos, Enter the Void, How to Train Your Dragon, The Illusionist, The King's Speech, Rabbit Hole Editor's note: After five years of valiant work, this will be Nick Cabreza's final regular feature for Second Supper. We will miss him greatly and wish him all the best in future endeavors.

Don't forget Brett! Go online to find Brett Emerson's 10 favorite books and CDs from 2010

www.secondsupper.com

The Majak Mixtape By Jonathan Majak jonathan.majak@secondsupper.com Oh New Year’s Eve, one of the more magical times of the year. It’s that special day when strangers become friends, friends become lovers, lovers become exes and exes become criminal defendants after busting somebody’s window out because they’ve been drinking to not feel feelings for the past 12 hours of bar time. And when people aren’t drinking themselves into a stupor or trying to be fly like a G6 on the dance floor, they are busily writing down their resolutions for the coming year because everybody is on a champagne-fueled wave of optimism. So you’ve got your usual assortments of things like actually using that gym membership, no longer break into your boyfriend’s/girlfriend’s Facebook to see who they are talking to, withstand all the nightmares while on Chantix and actually quit smoking, or cut down on drinking. Oh who are we kidding on the last one, nobody in this town ever puts “less drinking” as one of their resolutions unless court-mandated. So in honor of this wave of resolutions, we’ve put together a few for some music acts. First up, we hope that Will.I.Am makes a resolution of stop messing with classic songs from the 1980s to make middling hits for people. Seriously, we were sort of okay with you tampering with “Video Killed the Radio Star” but snatching the chorus of “I’ve Had the Time of My Life” for “The Time (Dirty Bit)” was more offensive to the ear than listening to “I Got It From My Mama” on repeat for hours. In the New Year, we hope you gather your thoughts and go back to the drawing board and stop listening to oldies stations for your inspiration. Speaking of check it out, we look to Nicki Minaj. Girl, we love you, but in the New Year your resolution should be just to stick with being a featured artist. In a lot of

December 30, 2010 // 7

ways, you’re like the rap equivalent of parsley. You’re a great garnishment on a plate called somebody else’s tune, but we’re still not quite sure if we’d want a plate of you by your lonesome as exhibited by the sort of less-than-stellar nature of your “Pink Friday” album. We’re still rooting for you as we desperately try to nail down your crazy rhyme in “Bottoms Up” because we fully intend to be THAT d-bag who recites rap lyrics like he wrote them himself. We also hope that Lady GaGa makes the resolution to turn down her pretentiousness just a little bit. We have no problem with her going through life looking like she just walked off the set of “Party Monster.” We’re personally jealous of that ability. We just want her to make a resolution that she’s not going to make any more music videos that are 8 minutes of bad dialogue and weird motifs because we’re STILL trying to figure out what both “Telephone” and “Alejandro” were exactly about other than “Bitch is trippin’ on some bomb-ass chronic.” We hope in the coming year Katy Perry gets therapy to get over her stunted adolescence, T.I. makes a pledge to actually stay out of jail once he gets out, Justin Timberlake remembers to make an album, Amy Winehouse puts down the crack and picks up a microphone, M.I.A. learns to never trust a NY Times reporter when they offer her truffle fries ever again, Disney Channel gives up the cause and just starts automatically putting their stars into rehab as soon as they get their driver’s licenses, Ciara decides that working the fryer at Popeye’s Chicken will net more money than her music career. And that happy bum note, we wish you a happy New Year. And as always, love, peace and downloads. Buy one of our favorite albums of the year: Janelle Monae’s The ArchAndroid YouTube our favorite video: Hey Marseilles “Rio” And read our favorite blog, besides our own: Oh No They Didn’t (community.live journal.com/ohnotheydidnt) The Majak Mixtape takes on the highs and lows of 2010 in a special feature “Look at Your Year, Look at Your Choices” right now on The Majak Kingdom blog (www.majakkingdom.blogspot.com)

8// December 30, 2010

Second Supper

MUSIC

music directory // December 31 to January 9 FRIDAY,

December 31

THURSDAY,

January 6

POPCORN TAVERN // 308 S. Fourth St. TBA • 10 p.m.

ALL STAR LANES // 4735 Mormon Coulee Mario Street, UGC (hip-hop) • 7:30 p.m.

THE STARLITE LOUNGE // 222 Pearl St. Kies and Kompanie (jazz) • 5 p.m.

BILLY'S LANTERN // W4516 Hwy 14 S The Stoney Ridge Band (classic rock, country) • 9 p.m.

January 7

FRIDAY,

CHARLIE'S INN // W5104 Hwy. 14-61 Abbey Lane and the Backbone (rock, blues) • 9 p.m.

PIGGY'S BLUES LOUNGE // 501 Front St. S. Mississippi Driftwood (folk) • 10 p.m.

DEWEY'S // 621 St. Paul St. Bitz and Pieces (rock) • 9 p.m.

POPCORN TAVERN // 308 S. Fourth St. Sterus (face-melting jams) • 10 p.m.

EAGLE’S CLUB // 228 Fifth Ave. S. Stingrays ('50s & '60s rock) • 8 p.m. MY SECOND HOME // 2104 George St. Fabulous Baloney Skins (variety) • 8 p.m. NELL'S CITY GRILL // 1111 S. Third St. Karl Friedline (baritone) • 6 p.m. NIGHTHAWKS TAP // 401 S. Third St. The Swampers (rock) • 10 p.m. ONA. AMERICAN LEGION // 731 Sandlake Rd. Shufflin Duprees (classic R&B) • 8 p.m. RIVER JACK'S //1835 Rose St. Ontourage (rock, country) • 8 p.m. PEARL STREET BREWERY // 1401 St. Andrew St.

Paxico (rock) • 5 p.m. PIGGY'S BLUES LOUNGE // 501 Front St. S. Brandon Scott Sellner (blues) • 8 p.m. POPCORN TAVERN // 308 S. Fourth St. Nimbus w/ Which 1's Pink (prog, jam, trance; Pink Floyd tribute) • 10 p.m. THE JOINT // 324 Jay St. Moon Boot Posse (Weezer tribute, psychedelic reggae fusion) • 10 p.m.

There are a lot of options to see live music in La Crosse on New Years Eve, but your night would be remiss if you didn't take a swing through the Popcorn Tavern. Don't worry if you get there late, Nimbus or Which 1's Pink will probably still be playing. Nimbus is one of the city's most forward thinking bands, mixing elements of original prog rock and live trance for an explosive live show. All of its members are also in Which 1's Pink (pictured), a Pink Floyd tribute act that played to rave reviews around town a couple years back. The two bands will be swapping sets and could see many guests in a show that's billed to last until 6 a.m.

SATURDAY,

January 1

POPCORN TAVERN // 308 S. Fourth St. Shawn's Open jam • 10 p.m.

January 4

NORTH SIDE OASIS // 620 Gillette St. Dead Set (rock, jam) • 8 p.m.

TUESDAY,

POPCORN TAVERN // 308 S. Fourth St. CLOSED

POPCORN TAVERN // 308 S. Fourth St. Dave Orr (open jam) • 10 p.m.

RIVER JACK'S //1835 Rose St. Ontourage (rock, country) • 8 p.m.

THE ROOT NOTE // 114 4th St. S. 3rd Relation Jazz Trio (jazz) • 8:30 p.m.

THE ROOT NOTE // 114 4th St. S. Yester and Fours (experimental folk) • 8:30 p.m.

SUNDAY,

January 2

MOUNT LA CROSSE // W5549 Old Town Rd. Chris Herriges (songwriter) • 2 p.m. POPCORN TAVERN // 308 S. Fourth St. The Blend (rock) • 10 p.m.

MONDAY,

January 3

THE STARLITE LOUNGE // 222 Pearl St. Kies & Kompanie (jazz) • 9 p.m.

DEL’S BAR // 229 Third St. Open Jam • 10 p.m.

THE WATERFRONT TAVERN // 328 Front St. Greg Balfany (jazz quartet) • 8 p.m.

JB'SSPEAKEASY // 717 Rose St. Open Mic Night • 10 p.m.

WEDNESDAY,

January 5

RIVER JACK'S //1835 Rose St. Ontourage (rock, country) • 8 p.m. THE ROOT NOTE // 114 4th St. S. Nick Shattuck & Joel Kachel (folk pop) • 8:30 p.m.

SATURDAY,

January 8

JB'SSPEAKEASY // 717 Rose St. Dude Worthy (acoustic comedy) • 10 p.m. NORTH SIDE OASIS // 620 Gillette St. The Grilled Cheese Experience (rock) • 8 p.m. PIGGY'S BLUES LOUNGE // 501 Front St. S. Mississippi Driftwood (folk) • 10 p.m.

DEL’S BAR // 229 Third St. Paulie Wednesday (new) • 10 p.m.

POPCORN TAVERN // 308 S. Fourth St. Burnt Brownies (jamband) • 10 p.m.

MY SECOND HOME // 2104 George St. Northside Acoustic (open) Jam • 6 p.m.

RIVER JACK'S //1835 Rose St. Mark Harrod (pop, rock) • 8 p.m.

POPCORN TAVERN // 308 S. Fourth St. Paulie Wednesdays (new) • 10 p.m.

THE ROOT NOTE // 114 4th St. S. Tony Zobeck & Jodi Glaze (acoustic rock) • 8:30 p.m.

RECOVERY ROOM // 901 7th St. S. Kin Pickin' (open jam) • 10 p.m. THE WAREHOUSE // 324 Pearl St. Jamestown Story, I Am Daniel, Making History, Paul Osburn (rock) • 6:30 p.m.

SUNDAY,

January 9

POPCORN TAVERN // 308 S. Fourth St. Som'n Jazz (jazz) • 10 p.m. SOUTHSIDE COMM. CENTER // 1300 S. 6th St. Bluegrass Acoustic -jam • 12:30 p.m.

Second Supper Second Supper

November 11, 2010 // 13 December 30, 2010 // 9

YOUR GUIDE TO CONSUMPTION

The Beer Review Bourbon County Stout 2009 Goose Island Beer Company Chicago, Illinois Beer drinkers, amongst their other fine traits, are easy people to shop for. They’re rarely disappointed when someone puts a new beverage in front of them, and with thousands of beers on the market, it’s pretty easy to be a sweet Santa. So this week’s review comes curtsey of my sister and brother in law who recently gave me a fine set of Pilsner glasses and this luxurious bottle of Bourbon County Stout (although — geek alert — imperial stouts are best served in a snifter).

One of the great things about Christmas is you get the sorts of presents you’d never buy yourself. That’s been my experience with the much lauded BCS, which is available at Woodman’s and other local stores for around $15 per bottle. Beer nerds tout it as one of the best stouts in the world, so I was as giddy as a kid with a train set (or whatever the kids are into these days) when I unwrapped it. And although this beer can be cellared for up to five years, I cracked mine open this week to share with old friends. Purchase: One bottle of Bourbon County Stout, received as a Christmas gift Style: Imperial Stout Strength: 13 percent ABV Packaging: This 650 ml bottle has a sleek but classy look with a black label (for the ’09 vintage) with white lettering backed with gold. Mine is stamped with a bottling

date of 12/18/08 and a bottle number 1309. Appearance: Advertising on the label equates the color to a black hole, which seemed a bit paradoxical until I noticed how opaque this liquid is. No light escapes its midnight body. The head is a woody brown, but mine was rather minimal — not sure if that was due to the bottle or the pour. Aroma: My nostrils were flooded with a strong aroma as soon as I cracked open even half the bottle top. Aged for 100 days in Jim Beam barrels, the bourbon alcohol initially dominates the nose, but there are still wonderful notes of vanilla , lighter traces of sour fruits, oak and wood smoke. Taste: This is one of the most complex beers I’ve ever tasted. The first flavors, at the very tip of the tongue, burn with strong alcohol, but each subsequent and warmer sip reveals more flavors, from chocolaty sweetness

The Best Food & Drink Specials in Town

to earthy coffee to tart cherries to pleasant bourbon warmth that lingers on the lips. Mouthfeel: Considering the potency, I expected this to be thick like a breakfast stout, but it really flows across the tongue like bourbon. The mouthfeel is incredibly long lasting and more complex on its own than a whole row of tap beers. Drinkability: I shared this bottle with three friends, which seems like a good ratio. It would take a much braver man than I to tackle a bottle solo. Ratings: BeerAdvocate scores this the rare A, while RateBeer awards it the equally rare 100. If any beer was made for those superlatives, it would be this one. I’m not sure how often I could splurge $15 of my own money on a bottle, but that’s the joy of Christmas in beerland. — Adam Bissen

LOCATION

SUNDAY

MONDAY

TUESDAY

WEDNESDAY

THURSDAY

ARENA

Text "Arena" to 83361 for Specials

Texas Hold 'Em Poker

Pool and dart leagues

Wyld Wednesday: $2 jumbo UV mixers, $2 Coronas

Ladies Night: Ladies drink free 9-11 $1 Cherry Bombs, $1 Keystone Light p.m. or all night with $5 wristband, silos including all UV Vodkas & XXX; $5 Long island pitchers

$1 Cherry Bombs, $1 Keystone Light silos

BROTHERS

Cllosed

$2.50 Coors vs. Keystone pitchers. All specials 9 p.m. to close

AUC2D: $5, domestic taps, rail mix- 10-cent wings, $1 Miller High Life ers, Long Islands. All specials 9 p.m. bottles, $1.50 rail mixers; $2.50 call to close drinks. All specials 9 p.m. to close.

AUC2D, $5 domestic taps, rail mixers and Long Islands. Wristband Night: $2.50 SoCo & Jack. 50-cent shots (two flavors). All specials 9 to close.

Customer Appreciation Weekend: Free beer, 9 p.m.-'til?. Ladies Late Night Ladies Drink Free , domestic taps, rails and Long Islands1 a.m.-close

COCONUT JOE'S

Closed

$2 Select Appetizers, $1 coors light Wings! $1.50 for 1 pound of wings. pints/rails, $2 u – call –it’s $1.50 Miller Lite

Wristband Night

$3 jumbo captain/Bacardi drinks $3 jumbo captain and Bacardi all night drinks all night

EAGLES NEST

$5 domestic pitchers

$1.50 domestic taps and rail drinks, 4 p.m. to close

Bird Brain Trivia 8 p.m.; $1.50 do- Wing Night - 25-cent wings (dine- $1.50 domestic bottles and rail mestic bottles and rails 4 p.m. to in only); $1 Miller High Life silos and drinks, $2 craft bottles, 4 p.m. to close PBR silos; $1.50 taps and rail drinks; close $2 craft taps. All specials 4 to close.

Happy Hour: 2 for 1 domestic bottles and rail drinks, 3 p.m. to 9 p.m.

Karaoke 9 p.m. to close

Taco buffet 11-2; $1 Pabst bottles and $1 bowling after 9

All you care to eat pizza buffet, 11-2

All you care to eat fish fry 4-10; unlimited Glow-N-Bowl $9.99

Prime rib dinner 4-10; unlimited Glow-N-Bowl $9.99

All you can eat wings, includes a Wisconsin cheese steak sandwich choice of potatoe, slaw and a frosted with a pint of beer, $8.99 pint, 4-9:30 p.m., $8.99

Ladies Night, $1 off all drinks, 4 to All you can eat boneless wings, inclose; Pint-Aritas $3 (lime or straw- cludes a choice of potatoe, slaw and berry) a frosted pint, 4-9:30 p.m., $8.99 $5 AUC2D wristbands: domestic taps, rail mixers, Long Islands, 9 p.m. to close; karaoke 9 p.m. to close

107 3rd St. S. 782-1883, www.arenalax.com

306 Pearl St. 784-0522

128 3rd St. 782-9192

1914 Campbell Road 782-7764

FEATURES

W3923 State Highway 16 786-9000

FLIPSIDE PUB & GRILL 400 Lang Drive 784-2242

IMPULSE

$5 AUC2D wristbands: domestic taps, rail mixers, Long Islands, 9 p.m. to close; live DJ, dancing 9 p.m. to close

Alcohol-free night, 7 p.m. to 2 a.m., $5 AUC2D wristbands: domestic for ages 25 and younger; live DJ, taps, rail mixers, Long Islands, 9 p.m. dancing, giveaways, AUC2D soda, to close; karaoke 9 p.m. to close $10 cover

JB’S SPEAKEASY

$1.75 domestic bottles, $1.75 Dom bottles and rails, $2.50 Bombs

Monday Madness: $1.75 domestics Tuesday Boozeday $1 off all liquor Happy Hour 5 to 7 p.m. and rails, $2.50 Bombs, $1 off all top drinks and 50 cents off all shots, $2 shelf and specialty beers Bombs

$1.79 burger (after 8 p.m.) Breakfast 8 a.m. to 2 p.m.

Hat Night: Buy 1 drink, get 1 free w/ Rail drinks $2 (4:30 to close); Buckets of beer $10, Boston Bobby's Margaritas $4 (Straw, rasp, mango, hat (4:30 to close); $1.50 chili dogs After 8 p.m. specials: $5 skewer of drummies 10 for $2 (4:30 to close), peach and reg); After 8 p.m. specials: (after 8 p.m.) shrimp,l $1.79 burger, $1.50 chili dogs $1.79 burger (after 8 p.m.) $5 skewer of shrimp, $1.79 burger

214 Main St. 782-6010

717 Rose St. 796-1161

SCHMIDTY’S 3119 State Road 788-5110

SLOOPY'S ALMA MATER

14-inch pizza, $2 off; Wings Happy Hour 2 to 6 p.m.

FRIDAY

SATURDAY

Free Wing Night (while supplies last); $5 wristband happy hour, 5 to 9 p.m; $5 AUC2D wristbands: domestic taps, live DJ, dancing 9 p.m. to close rail mixers, Long Islands, 9 p.m. to close; live DJ, dancing 9 p.m. to close

$5 wristband happy hour, 5 to 9 p.m; live DJ, dancing 9 p.m. to close

Happy Hour 5 to 7 p.m.

163 Copeland Ave. 785-0245

Tacos: $11 buckets during pro and Tacos: $11 buckets during pro and college football games. college football games. Happy Hour 2 to 6 p.m.

12-inch pizza $8.99 Happy Hour 2 to 6 p.m.

THE LIBRARY

Wristband Night

Half price tequilla, $1 domestic taps Karaoke, $2 Double rails and all Wristband night, $2 cherry bombs, and rails bottles; $3 Double call drinks 50¢ shots (3 flavors)

Happy Hour 5 to 7 p.m.

Breakfast 8 a.m. to 2 p.m.; lunch buffet 11 a.m. to 2 p.m., $6.99

Ladies night, 2 for 1 drinks (6-close), Happy Hour 2 to 6 p.m. Happy Hour 2 to 6 p.m.

Tacos: $11 buckets during pro and college football games.

$2 U Call Its 7 p.m. to close: Calls, Rails, Bottles & More

$5 Pitchers/$2 bottles of Miller prod- $1.75 Miller/Bud Light Taps, $2.25 $1.75 Rails, $1.50 Domestic Taps, $2 domestic bottles, $2.50 Skyy/ ucts (11-4pm) $2 Corona Bottles, $2 MIcro/Craft Taps, $2.50 Cherry Bombs $3.50 Jager Bombs Absolut mixers, $2 Dr. shots (7-1 Kilo Kai Mixers , $3 Bloodys (7-1 a.m.) (7-1 a.m.) (7-1 a.m.) a.m.)

5 Domestic Bottles for $10, $5 $2 Captain Mixers, $2. Long Island Micro/Import Bottles $11.50, $7 Mixers, $3 Effen Vodka Mixers (7-1 Micro/Craft Pitchers (7-1 a.m.) a.m.)

$5 Miller/Bud Light Pitchers, $2.25 Leinies Bottles (7-1 a.m.)

POPCORN TAVERN

$2 16oz Old Style & Lost Lake cans 2.50 Captain Mixers

$2 16oz Old Style & Lost Lake cans 1.75 PBR bottles 2.50 Captain Mixers

$2 16oz Old Style & Lost Lake cans 2.50 Captain Mixers

$2 Grain Belt 2.50 Captain Mixers

$2 16oz Old Style & Lost Lake cans $2 16oz Old Style & Lost Lake cans 2.50 Captain Mixers $2 Coors and Coors Light Bottles and $2.50 Skyy Mixers

$2 16oz Old Style & Lost Lake cans

WHISKEY RIVER SALOON

Closed

Comedy Night

Mechanical Bull Riding, $2 Miller Lite and $2 Shots of Dr.

Live Band and DJ, $3 Bacardi and Captain Drinks 7-10pm

WHO'S ON THIRD

$2.00 Domestic taps/ $2.00 rails

$1.50 tap of PBR/ $1.50 rails

$3.00 call doubles/ $2.00 Bud products

$2.00 all tap beer/ $3.00 Jack/Captain doubles

$8.50 Fishbowls/ $2.00 Miller products

$2.00 Domestic taps/ $2.00 Three $2.00 Bartenders choice mixer Olive products

123 3rd St. 784-8020

TOP SHOTS 137 4th St. 782-6622 308 4th St. S. 782-9069

223 Pearl St. 784-2337

126 3rd St. N. 782-9467

10// December 30, 2010

Second Supper

DIVERSIONS

Maze Efflux

"Flat Tops" Making a certain letter less ... pointy

By Erich Boldt By Matt Jones

Top 10 Video Games of 2010

1. God of War 3 — Hands down the best game of 2010 and perhaps one of the best of all time. We hope this isn’t the last in the series. 2. Red Dead Redemption — Grand Theft Auto meets Gunsmoke. Who knew riding horses and hunting rabbits could be so much fun? 3. Rock Band 3 — With the addition of a keyboard and an ever-expanding song library, there truly is something that everyone can play. 4. Darksiders — 2012 is just around the corner and the folks at THQ (developer) presented gamers with their own apocalyptic nightmare. 5. Heavy Rain — A look at the future of games. Perhaps not the most exciting but the graphics and innovative gameplay make up for it. 6. Gran Turismo 5 — What other game offers players the chance to drive a virtual copy of nearly every car ever made. 7. Super Mario Galaxy 2 — We couldn’t have a top 10 list with out Mario poking his Stache into the picture. 8. Call of Duty: Black Ops — More thought was put into the single player mode of this Online heavyweight which got our attention. 9. Dante’s Inferno — There are few things as fun as wielding Death’s scythe and punishing the minons of hell. 10. Joe Danger — In this updated version of ExciteBike the crashes are hilarious, the graphics are great and the levels are imaginative and challenging. — Nate Willer

614 Main St., La Crosse, WI 54601 Phone: (608) 782-7001 Online: secondsupper.com Publisher: Roger Bartel roger.bartel@secondsupper.com Editor in Chief: Adam Bissen adam.bissen@secondsupper.com Student Editor: Emily Faeth emily.faeth@secondsupper.com Sales: Mike Keith mike.keith@secondsupper.com Sales: Michael Butteris michael.butteris@secondsupper.com Regular Contributors: Amy Alkon, Erich Boldt, Nick Cabreza, Mary Catanese, Jason Crider, Ashly Conrad, Brett Emerson, Jake Groteuschen, Shuggypop Jackson, Jonathan Majak, Matt Jones, Briana Rupel, Julie Schneider, Stephanie Schultz, Nate Willer Second Supper is a weekly alternative newspaper published by Bartanese Enterprises LLC, 614 Main St., La Crosse, WI 54601

Letters are encouraged and can be sent to editor@secondsupper.com.

ACROSS 1 Nine-to-five 4 Yes, in Yokohama 7 Ovens, so to speak 12 "Burn Notice" channel 13 "Rolling Stone" cofounder Wenner 14 Newswoman Mitchell 16 Guy who knows his cake pans? 18 Seesaws, really 19 "Cheers" actor George attending a Massachusetts college? 21 "Stop, horse!" 23 Hits a bicycle horn 24 Pond fish 25 Opera singer Enrico 27 Accomplishes 30 Barrett once of Pink

Floyd 31 Native 34 Physicist Mach who coined the term "Mach number" 35 End-of-the-day payment-fest? 37 Surround 40 With perfect timing 41 Ram noise 44 Turkish city that housed the Temple of Artemis 46 Some fish catchers 48 Gp. that provides road maps 49 Religious offshoots 52 "___ Small Candle" (Roger Waters song) 53 Richard Pryor title character with a big German dot on him? 57 Nissan model

Answers to Dec. 16 puzzle Crunchy on the Outside — Fry that Sucker!

58 One-legged maneuver for those chocolate balls? 61 Rembrandt's city of birth 62 Cupid's Greek counterpart 63 Skipbo relative 64 Give props to 65 Simple sandwich 66 Understand a joke DOWN 1 Protrude 2 Suffix for sugars 3 It gets bleeped 4 Wrench or screwdriver 5 "___ the republic for which it stands..." 6 Split ___ 7 Market sign? 8 Scott Turow bestseller 9 1506, in Roman numerals 10 Get past the lock 11 Sunday deliveries 13 Page 6, on some calendars: abbr. 15 Court stat 17 Gentleman friend 20 Leaning type type 21 Lavs 22 Bale stuff 26 Tiny openings 28 Little giggle 29 Degas display, e.g. 32 Nine Inch Nails hit with the freaky video

33 Gothic novelist Radcliffe 35 Honey Nut Cheerios mascot 36 "Well, there goes that option..." 37 "C'mon, help me out here!" 38 Shoulder decoration 39 Word repeated in T.S. Eliot's "The Wasteland" 41 Wraparound greeting 42 Free throw path 43 Volcano spew 45 Obviously-named American financial giant 47 Super-cool computer geek language 50 "People" newsmaker 51 Spin around 54 2000 Radiohead album 55 U.S. Treasury agents 56 End zone scores, briefly 59 Inseparable 60 Poker stakes ©2010 Jonesin' Crosswords (editor@ jonesincrosswords. com)

Second Supper

December 30, 2010 // 11

COMMUNITY

CONTINUED FROM PAGE 6 horses, and realize that as flawed individuals, we all still have plenty to learn.

Julie Schneider

The fact that the people of Wisconsin decided to let this state move toward the right by electing both Scott Walker and Ron Johnson was difficult for me to swallow. Saying goodbye to a man who has built such a strong bond with the people of Wisconsin by connecting and listening to what our needs are and taking that information back to D.C. is something that is hard to replace. Russ Feingold's experience and the work that he did can't even be compared to a man whose background is focused on manufacturing and business ideals, who is stepping into the political ring with no background in politics. Johnson seems a little too bogus to me. The recent halting of the high speed rail system, due to Walker, who isn’t even in office yet, is heartbreaking. How does he not see the benefits this rail system would create for the entire state? The connection Wisconsin would have to major cities such as the Twin Cities and Chicago would bring more tourists to experience the uniqueness of this state, boosting our economy in tremendous ways and allowing for more day trips for entertainment and sporting events. Being a part of a system that is looking to connect this huge nation would move this state forward, one of the principle ideals

Wisconsin prides itself on, but Walker wants us to fall backward, and he did so already by derailing the train.

Stephanie Schultz

I'm of course glad that the MTU finally has a sheltered transfer point, though from what I understand it was not built in the place it was originally slated to be built. It's ruined the view for the tenants in the Hooters building, as well as whoever lives in those fancy penthouses above Merrill Lynch. However, with this new transfer point comes changed routes. I used to catch the bus going to the transfer point literally just across the street, and now I don't even know where the nearest stop is heading northbound. Thankfully the closest southbound stop takes me exactly across the street from my side door, which is an improvement from before, but I'm sure others aren't so lucky. With all this kerfuffle, I wish with the new route map there would be an even more detailed map for every route, with each stop pinpointed. Not very green or Eco-friendly, all that extra paper for those route maps? Sure, but maybe they could come up with an online version or print it on recycled Second Suppers or something!

Nate Willer

First and foremost, right leg, you let me down. Big time. We had a solid 27 years of cooperation and companionship. I took care

of you and you took me where I wanted to go. But that all changed on May 10, 2010. You had your own selfish agenda. Instead of enjoying a summer of softball, Frisbee and strolling you decided to take a break. Literally. And I am still not happy about it. Perhaps filing this grievance will help me get over the lost time in the sun, the missed dog walks and most of all the remainder of the softball season. Honestly was it really that difficult to keep plugging away? Sure I had a YouTube worthy collision, but from my vantage point you made no contact with anything except the ground, but apparently that’s too much for you. Well, buddy let’s make a deal. You man up and refuse to ever take a break again and I’ll continue to keep you attached at the hip. And FYI we are playing softball again, and you WILL carry me through the season.

Think you can do what we do? Second Supper is now hiring movie reviewers, feature writers and graphic designers. Send your resume and clips to

editor@secondsupper.com

Downtown La Crosse, above Fayzes - 782-6622

top shots joke of the week

Check out our new Beers on Tap!

A lady is knitting while driving down the highway. A police officer drives up alongside her, rolls down his window, and shouts, "Pull over!" The woman yells back, "No, mittens!"

Good People, Good Drinks, Good Times

SUNDAY

$5 Pitchers $2 Bottles of Miller Products (11-4 pm) $2 Corona Bottles $2 Kilo Kai Mixers $3 Bloody’s (7-1am)

MONDAY TUESDAY

$1.75 - Miller/Bud Taps $2.25 Micro/Craft Taps $2.50 Cherry Bombs (7-1am)

$1.75 Rails $1.50 Domestic Taps $3.50 Jager Bombs (7-1am)

$2.00 - 1 Player, $3.00 - 2 Players 50 Cents Off Drinks, $1 Off Pitchers

WEDNESDAY $2 Domestic Bottles $2.50 Skyy/Absolute Mixers $2 Dr. Shots (7-1am)

THURSDAY FRIDAY 5 Domestic Bottles 4 $10 $5 Micro/Import Bottles $11.50, $7 Micro/Craft Pitchers (7-1am)

$5 Miller Lite/Bud Light Pitchers

SATURDAY $2.25 Leinies Bottles (7-1am)

$2 Captain Mixers $2 Long Islands $3 Effen Vodka Mixers (7-1am)

12// December 30, 2010

The Advice Goddess By Amy Alkon amy.alkon@secondsupper.com I’ll have the scrimp cocktail!

I’d love your take on a bizarre first date. I suggested happy hour drinks, but he wanted to take me to dinner, and picked a really nice restaurant. When we were ordering, he suggested we play “a fun game,” which entailed closing our eyes and picking a number (the entrees were numbered). I said OK, then he said I couldn’t pick numbers between 20 and 25 because those entrees were expensive. Completely disenchanted, I opened my eyes and chose something cheap. Later, the bill came, and sat and sat. He finally picked it up, muttered audibly about who had what, and eventually put his card out. Obviously, I turned down his request for a second date. — Not Into “Games” Just think of the “fun game” he had in store for date two — probably something like “Close your eyes, Babe, and pretend

Second Supper

THE LAST WORD we aren’t under a bridge waiting in line for free soup.” It’s a tough economy, and people are increasingly worried that they’ll be dining on Fancy Feast casserole at 80 (or 45). More than ever, men need to be wary of gold diggers. But, this guy had good intel that you aren’t one of them. The girl who suggests happy hour drinks is not the girl who orders the lobster dinner — and then adds, “Oh, and can I get another one of those to go?” He’s the one who chose to up the price tag of getting to know you. The reasonable assumption would be that he was inviting you, not you and your Visa card. Assuming he didn’t lose his job between “Pick you up at 8?” and appetizers, he’s either a pathological cheapskate trying to pass himself off as Mr. Big Spender or is convinced that all women are out to milk ‘n’ bilk him. Either way, a date with him seems like a twist on “L’Oreal — because you’re worth it.” His motto: “Don’t even think of incurring the $2 substitution fee for onion rings — because you’re not.” The ironic thing is, even if you’d picked one of the pricier entrees, how much more would it have cost him — $10 plus tip? He ended up spending a whole bunch of money on a girl who now never wants to see him again — charming as some may find it when a guy mutters over the check, “Let’s see, you had that extra packet of ketchup — that’s probably two cents right there…”

Flight at the end of the tunnel

I sympathize with “On Hold,” the guy sick of girls saying they wanted to see him again and then not returning his calls. Why do women think it’s OK to ignore a guy - the guy they let buy them dinner … the very same guy they agreed to see again when he walked them to their car?! — Been There, Resented That When a woman isn’t returning your call, you want to hope for the best — that it’s because she died, is still in a coma, or was kidnapped by Bolivian terrorists while picking up a prescription at the drugstore. But, you know — we all know — what no callback almost always means. And it isn’t that women think it’s OK to ignore a guy. It’s just that lying and saying they’ll see him again seems kinder and less awkward than being honest to his face. Sure, a woman could say something vaguely honest, like “I just don’t think it’s going to happen for us.” But, the guy could end up pressing her for what’s really on her mind: “You aren’t as cute as I thought you’d be, and you chew like you’re bad in bed.” By the way, it isn’t just women who’ll say whatever it takes to close the door on a date. Men will pledge a sincere-sounding “I’ll call you!” while thinking “You sucked the oxygen out of the room. Couldn’t you hear the sound of my brain cells dying?” Shaking your fist at the sky because rejection doesn’t come in your preferred form won’t make it any less a rejection; it’ll

just make you increasingly bitter, making you increasingly unattractive to women. Understand that not getting a promised callback is a common side-effect of modern dating — especially if it was a first date, especially if it originated on the Internet. When you’re just getting to know a woman, make dates cheap, short, and local — drinks rather than dinner. Hope for the best, but until a woman’s getting into your car to go on date two, think of “I’d love to see you again” as an announcement akin to “I’m going to go home and give birth to a litter of squirrels.”

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