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Twelve Days of Christmas is important - not their sexual orientation, gender, gender identity, race or religion. On the second day of Christmas: Anyone can marry the person they love, no matter if they are the same or opposite gender, and that marriage is recognized by their state with all the resulting rights, responsibilities and benefits. On the sixth day of Christmas: Transgender troops can serve openly in our military with full dignity and respect. We successfully repealed Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell, but that did not help our transgender brothers and sisters. They should not be left behind. On the seventh day of Christmas: The percentage of women in public office actually ref lects our presence - 50%. Even in as progressive a city as San Francisco is, women hold only one of six city-wide positions, zero of our four seats in Sacramento, and a minority of the Board of Supervisors (5 of 11). As MO State Senator Jolie Justus says, “If you don’t have a seat at the table, you’re probably on the menu.” On the eighth day of Christmas: City College maintains its accreditation and the school is allowed to continue to provide a top quality education to its thousands of students. On the ninth day of Christmas: Everyone has access to quality, affordable health care regardless of employment status or employer. The idea that our health is dependent on where we work is just crazy to me. On the tenth day of Christmas: Comprehensive national immigration reform is passed, with a defined path to citizenship for those who have lived in (continued on page 22)

Do Ask, Do Tell Zoe Dunning This holiday season, there certainly is a lot for which I am grateful - it’s been an incredible year. One of my favorite memories will be standing in the rotunda of City Hall with my wife Pam, watching the live announcement of the Supreme Court’s Defense of Marriage Act (DOMA) and Proposition 8 decisions. We really felt like we were watching and participating in civil rights history. There are other great memories I cherish from 2013, but I’m typically one that likes to look forward and to the future and not dwell too much in the past. As MLK once famously said, “The arc of the moral universe is long, but it bends towards justice.” It has certainly progressed, but it’s not at its destination quite yet. So, leveraging the theme of the Twelve Days of Christmas, I’d like to share with you my twelve wishes for Christmas, focusing on goals like equality, respect, opportunity and justice. They are a bit more intangible than a partridge in a pear tree, and certainly difficult to wrap. And you should definitely appreciate that you are reading this and not listening to me sing them. (As Pam likes to tease me, “Who told you that you are a good singer, your mother?!”) But I offer them for your consideration: On the f irst day of Christmas: A country where, in all states, having parents that love their children and keep them safe and healthy is all that

On the third day of Christmas: A broad spectrum of people from all socio-economic classes and backgrounds can afford to live in San Francisco. The housing affordability crisis is reversing the arc of the moral universe and turning our city into the haves and have nots. We are in dire need of greater middle class and lowincome housing options. On the fourth day of Christmas: Our withdrawal from Afghanistan is complete in 2014 and our military troops come home to their families safe and sound. On the fifth day of Christmas: We take care of our troops that have come home with physical, mental and emotional damage as a result of 12 years of deployments. We process their disability claims swiftly and respectfully, and provide opportunities for education, housing, and jobs as they transition to civilian life.

Take Heart, Political Junkies: It Gets Better licans to self-destruct. And they do tend to do that. Locally, all eyes will be on the marquee battle of the year: the slugfest between Dav id Chiu and Dav id Campos (my candidate) for the right to represent the 17th Assembly District. California’s top-two primary system will ensure that the June primary will be merely the first of two contests for the seat. The good news is that both of these men are smart and talented and either would represent us well in Sacramento. The bad news is we now get to watch them and their supporters rip each other apart for the next ten months. There will be five local Supervisor seats coming before the voters, although given the strong advantages that district elections and instant runoff voting give to incumbents, we shouldn’t expect a ton of change there. Scott Wiener continues to annoy progressives citywide, but he’s popular in his District and is all but certain to win re-election. Much as my friends may dislike this or that battle he has chosen to wage, and the list of folks he’s pissed off is long indeed - nudists, homeless advocates, environmentalists, historic preservationists, and tenant activists, to name a few - the fact remains that he is diligent and tireless, responds quickly and effectively to constituent needs, and generally just seems to

Rafael Mandelman For San Francisco political junkies, 2013 was a bit of a bore: three uncontested citywide races for City Attorney, Treasurer and Assessor, and an essentially uncontested race for District 4 Supervisor. Yes, there was the fight over 8 Washington, which clearly got some of us all worked up, but that was pretty much all there was worth getting worked up over. 2014 should be a different story. Of course, we’ll be cheering on Nancy Pelosi as she tries to re-take the House of Representatives for the Democrats. Unfortunately, at the moment, the botched rol lout of Obamacare appears to have taken a real toll on the Democrats’ poll numbers, but there’s still plenty of time yet before November for the Repub-

be burning brighter than most of his colleagues on the Board. Watch for him to use this election cycle to begin laying the foundation for his next race; conventional wisdom is that he’s aiming for Mark Leno’s Senate seat when Leno terms out in 2016. Another Supervisor to keep your eye on in 2014 is Jane Kim, representing District 6. Jane is super smart, hard-working, a solid fundraiser, and, well, gorgeous. I expect her to glide to re-election in November, but surely bigger and better things are in her future. Whether she sets her sights on the Board presidency in January 2015 or some other elected office, look for Jane to use this year to start charting her path forward and up. (continued on page 22) BAY T IM ES DEC EM BER 19, 2013 3

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A San Francisco Kind of Democrat

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Round About – Holiday Season All Over Town!

Emcee Donna Sachet with Santa and his elves at the Castro Street Tree Lighting (Photo by Rink)

Members of the Glide Memorial Choir at the annual Macy’s Tree Lighting event in Union Square (Photo by Steven Underhill)

The 2013 Christmas Tree at Union Square (Photo by Steven Underhill) The SF Lesbian/Gay Freedom Band performs annually at the Castro Street Tree Lighting. (Photo by Rink)

Merchants of Upper Market and Castro president Terry Bennett of Cliff ’s Hardware receives a proclamation from Senator Mark Leno at the annual Castro Tree Lighting. (Photo by Rink) Nicki at Project Open Hand presenting a pumpkin pie baked for the holiday season (Photo by Rink)

Mission SFPD Captain Robert Moser and Police Chief Greg Suhr at the Castro Street Treet Lighting (Photo by Rink) Holocaust survivor Anne Marie Yellin displays a yellow star, sewed on her clothing when she lived in Nazi Germany, at the Main Library where she spoke at the 75th year since Kristallnacht remembrance. (Photo by Rink)

The Lesbian/Gay Chorus of SF performs with guest artists at the We Celebrate concert at the First Unitarian Church. (Photo by Rink)

A shrine for the deceased at the LGBT Center on Transgender Day of Remembrance (Photo by Rink)

Speakers at the annual World Tree of Hope Lighting Ceremony at City Hall included (l-r) MLK Jr. adviser Clarence Jones, author Anne LaMott, emcee Suzan Revah, star of Titanium A San Francisco Story with friends at Donna Sachet, Japanese counsel general Masato Watanabe and orgami artist an event she shared with Donna Sachet and the film Sachet at a Karen Kai, Bay Times co-publishers Dr. Betty Sullivan and Jennifer Viegas and Santa waves to the crowd at Union Square for the Tree Lighting program. screening benefit for the AIDS Emergency Fund at Beatbox. organizer Jeff Cotter of the Rainbow World Fund. (Photo by Rink) (Photo by Steven Underhill) (Photo by Rink) 4 BAY TIMES DECEM B E R 1 9 , 2 0 1 3

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National News Briefs compiled by Dennis McMillan Indianapolis, IN - Mary Cheney Headlines Same-Sex Marriage Fundraiser - 12.11 The daughter of former Vice President Dick Cheney came to Indianapolis to help raise money to fight a proposed amendment banning gay marriage. Mary Cheney headlined a fundraiser for Freedom Indiana, where tickets ranged from $30 to $5,000. Cheney is a married lesbian who supports same-sex marriage throughout the nation. Dick Cheney also seems to support same-sex marriage - or at least his daughter’s gay marriage. “No one should be denied the fundamental liberties we all deserve,” Mary Cheney wrote in a fundraising appeal sent prior to her appearance. Cheney has recently been fighting publicly with her sister, a conservative Republican running for the U.S. Senate in Wyoming. Senate candidate Liz Cheney recently said earlier that she continues to believe marriage should be limited to being between one man and one woman. Cheney is seeking to oust U.S. Senator Mike Enzi in next year’s Republican primary. However, in Indiana, the fight is not over legalizing gay marriage, but rather strengthening and expanding the state’s existing ban on gay marriage. Lawmakers are considering a measure that would add the state ban to the constitution, but also expand it to bar future approval of civil unions or employer benefits for same-sex couples. Supporters of the strengthened ban say it is needed to block a judge from potentially overturning state law, while opponents say it would drive new businesses from locating in Indiana. If approved during the upcoming legislative session, the measure would head to Indiana voters for approval, which has the potential to turn 2014 into a high-dollar, national battle. One wonders whether the homophobic Mormon and Catholic zealots will pour as much money into defeating marriage equality in Indiana as they did in California. Source: edgeonthenet.com

NYC, NY - Free & Equal Releases Video on 65th Anniversary of Adoption of Universal Declaration of Human Rights - 12.10 Free & Equal, the United Nations campaign for LGBTQ equality, released “A History of LGBT Rights at the UN,” a short info-graphic video telling the story of LGBTQ rights at the UN in honor of International Human Rights Day, December 10. This year’s Human Rights Day marked the 65th anniversary of the adoption of the Universal Declaration of Human Rights by the UN General Assembly in 1948, which states that “all human beings are born free and equal in dignity and rights.” To view the informational, inspirational film, go to unfe.org/human-rights-day. The short video was screened at United Nations Headquarters in New York on the 10th of December at a Human Rights Day event with speakers including tennis legend Martina Navratilova, NBA star Jason Collins, MSNBC anchor Thomas Roberts, UN human rights chief Navi Pillay, and human rights activists from Russia, South Africa and the USA. “The history of human rights at the United Nations is as old as the institution itself,” said Pillay, the High Commissioner for Human Rights at the UN. “Today we remember where we came from and redouble our efforts to create a world in which no one is discriminated against because of who they are or whom they love.” The video includes the instrumental version of Macklemore and Ryan Lewis’s hit song “Same Love,” which was generously donated by the artists who also serve as Free & Equal equality champions. The Free & Equal campaign aims to raise awareness of homophobic and transphobic violence and discrimination, and encourages greater respect for the rights of LGBTQ people everywhere. The campaign was launched in Cape Town, South Africa, on July 27 at an event featuring Archbishop Emeritus Desmond Tutu and South Africa Constitutional Court Justice Edwin Cameron. Three cheers for Macklemore and Lewis! Source: unfe.org

Washington D.C. - Social Security to Process Survivor Benefits for Same-Sex Couples - 12.16 Morehead, KY - Kentucky City Council Unanimously Approves LGBT Fairness Law - 12.9 Following a three-month process devoid of community opposition, the Morehead City Council unanimously approved an anti-discrimination Fairness Ordinance, extending discrimination protections in employment, housing, and public accommodations to lesbian, gay, bisexual, and transgender people. The Eastern Kentucky city of 6,845, home to Morehead State University, is now the sixth in the commonwealth to extend civil rights protections based on perceived sexual orientation and gender identity. Through Fairness Coalition efforts, the number of Kentucky cities with LGBT Fairness ordinances has doubled in 2013 alone, adding victories in the Appalachian town of Vicco (January 2013) and the state’s capital Frankfort (August 2013) to pre-existing laws in Covington (2003), Lexington (1999), and Louisville (1999). Begun in September by members of the Rowan County Chapter of Kentuckians For The Commonwealth, the grassroots movement to pass a Fairness Law in Morehead received unanimous civic support from its introduction - a reflection of current polling that shows 83% of all registered Kentucky voters support simple anti-discrimination protections for LGBTQ people. Similar grassroots movements span nearly a dozen other Kentucky cities, including Bowling Green, Elizabethtown, Owensboro, Shelbyville, and Berea, where the city council has appointed a task force to draft a local Fairness Law. Despite tremendous municipal progress across the commonwealth, Kentucky’s General Assembly has yet to hold a hearing on a statewide Fairness Law, which has been introduced for more than 15 years. Coalition leaders are hopeful Morehead and other cities’ movements will inspire a debate on Rep. Mary Lou Marzian’s (D-Louisville) statewide Fairness Bill in the House Judiciary Committee in 2014. More than 25 percent of Kentucky residents now live in a city with LGBT Fairness. The Fairness Coalition consists of members and allies of the American Civil Liberties Union of Kentucky, Fairness Campaign, Kentucky Commission on Human Rights, and Lexington Fairness - all working together. It seems only fair. Source: fairness.org

The Obama administration announced the latest new policy in the aftermath of the Supreme Court ruling against Defense of Marriage Act: the Social Security Administration will now begin processing survivor’s benefits for certain married same-sex couples. Carolyn Colvin, acting commissioner of Social Security, said that benefits will begin to flow to the surviving spouses of same-sex marriages - at least in some cases - in the same way they flow to survivors of opposite-sex marriages. “Social Security is processing some widow’s and widower’s claims by surviving members of same-sex marriages and paying benefits where they are due,” Colvin said. “In addition, we are able to pay some onetime lump sum death benefit claims to surviving same-sex spouses.” In August, the Social Security Administration announced similar policy on new benefits for same-sex couples in the aftermath of the court ruling on DOMA. But the announcement months ago pertained to retirement benefits, unlike the announcement Monday regarding survivor benefits. But there’s a caveat to the new policy for a survivor of a same-sex marriage if both individuals in the relationship moved to a non-marriage equality state. Claims for survivor benefits or the one-time lump sum death benefit from in this situation will be placed on hold. Social Security law looks to the state of residence, not the state of celebration, in determining whether a same-sex couple is married. However, a person in a same-sex marriage living in a non-marriage equality state is eligible for the one-time lump sum death benefit if the other person in the relationship died while living in another state that recognizes same-sex marriage. Although the Social Security Administration is placing certain claims on hold, Colvin encourages all individuals who believe they may be eligible for Social Security “to apply now to protect against the loss of any potential benefits.” Social Security helps secure equality! Source: washingtonblade.com

Hollywood, CA - “Biggest Loser” Trainer Comes Out as Gay - 11.27 On a recent episode of NBC’s weight-losing reality show The Biggest Loser, trainer Bob Harper publicly came out in order to help a contestant, who was struggling with coming out to his family. Harper told a contestant named Bobby that he was gay, hoping to encourage him to come out to his family, especially his father. “I haven’t talked about my sexuality on this show ever,” Harper said on the show. “And now, meeting Bobby, I really do believe this is the right time. I want to show Bobby that he doesn’t have to live in shame.” Harper then shared his coming out story to Bobby and the viewers, saying, “When I came out, when I was 17 years old, it was one of those things where I realized that there was going to be so many obstacles, but being gay doesn’t mean being weak. And being gay doesn’t mean that you are less than anybody else. It’s just who you are.” Harper encouraged Bobby to come out to his dad, believing that his dad would support and love him for who he was. Bobby said the trainer’s words and story were inspirational. While that talk hasn’t happened yet - at least as far as we know - Bobby did say that Bob’s encouragement has given him the push to do it. Soon after the episode aired, fans lauded Harper on Twitter for coming out and encouraging Bobby to be open to his family. “Thank you to everyone that supported my decision to talk about being gay with Bobby,” Harper tweeted. “I felt like it was appropriate and necessary. LOVE Y’ALL!!” And we love YOU, Bob, you hot gay hunk! Source: edgeonthenet.com

Local News Briefs Bay Area Education Leaders Support School Success and Opportunity Act Local school boards and communities continue their progress towards implementing the School Success and Opportunity Act (AB 1266), which Governor Brown signed earlier this year. The new law restates existing anti-discrimination law to ensure that all students, including transgender students, have the opportunity to fully participate and succeed in schools. The Marin County Board of Education resolution noted that, “due to lack of awareness of how to support transgender students in some school districts, transgender students are often improperly excluded from participating in school-based activities, programs and facilities … [which] isolates and stigmatizes transgender students, puts them at increased risk of harassment and violence, harms their long term health and wellbeing, and often prevents them from earning the credits they need to graduate.” Marin County’s actions were followed by a vote of the Berkeley Unified School District to adopt a new policy to provide a, “safe, supportive, and inclusive learning environment for all students, including transgender students … in all school activities, programs, facilities, and educational opportunities.” Sacramento City Unified School District will consider a similar measure this week. The School Success and Opportunity Act is poised to take effect in 2014, and to ensure that school administrators understand their responsibility for the success and wellbeing of all students, and parents and students understand their rights. The Support All Students coalition, comprising Equality California, Transgender Law Center, GSA Network, National Center for Lesbian Rights and the ACLU, thanked the educators for their support of this historic bill. “All students deserve the same opportunity to study and learn in a safe environment, including transgender students,” said John O’Connor, executive director of Equality California. “We’re excited to see leaders in education stand up in support of the School Success and Opportunity Act and for acknowledging that all students deserve a fair shot at success.” Of course homophobic organizations everywhere are trying to stop AB 1266. Story by Dennis McMillan 6 BAY TIMES DECEM B E R 1 9 , 2 0 1 3

Castro Country Club in Renovation; Announces Winter Schedule The Castro Country Club is a clean and sober gathering place for all people and a home for the queer recovery community. Since April 1983, the Castro Country Club has been a safe haven for LGBTQ people in recovery from drugs and alcohol. As of November 16, 2012, the Castro Country Club is fiscally sponsored by the San Francisco AIDS Foundation. Castro County Club would like to get the word out that they are not closed, but are renovating the Club in phases in order to minimize any impact on the community they serve. “There have been some changes to our plans as the work progresses, and we appreciate your patience and understanding,” says Castro Country Club Manager Terry Beswick. Here follows their current remodel schedule: Now through Dec. 19, the front room is closed for renovations. All groups are asked to meet temporarily in the café room. Dec. 20 through Jan. 1, the front room and café will be open through the holidays during their usual hours of operations for meetings and fellowship. The back deck will remain closed Jan. 2 through Feb. 28, and the front room will be open while the café, restroom, and back patio will be closed for renovations. Books will be available for sale on a limited basis. Approximately the first of March, the remodeled Castro Country Club will re-launch with a new open design, a new menu, and improved services. “We need your support,” says Beswick. “Please consider making a donation to the Castro Country Club to help offset lost café revenue during this renovation project.” Any tax-deductible donations will be gratefully accepted at castrocountryclub.org. For a very sober holiday, CCC is offering marathon meetings Christmas Eve and New Year’s Eve, Tuesdays, 7am to 12 midnight at 4058 18th Street. Also, there is a Christmas Fellowship Potluck, 1:30 to 5pm. Bring something to share; bring your chosen family; bring a newcomer. All are welcome. Story by Dennis McMillan

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Editor’s Note: Welcome to our Weddings, Anniversaries & Occasions section. Inquire how your social announcement can appear free of charge, or how your wedding services ad can be included at a special rate: Publisher@sfbaytimes.com or 415-601-2113.

Longtime San Francisco residents Monica Levin and Nancy Igdaloff, role models for their gay and straight friends, finally tied the knot at City Hall on December 3, 2013 after living together for 33 years. Ten close pals cheered and sang along when “Going to the Chapel” played in the Board Chamber just before their supervisor, Scott Wiener, pointed out Harvey Milk’s desk and signed the brides’ marriage license there. Supervisor Wiener then read the wedding vows the spouses-to-be wrote and the brides exchanged their own heartfelt words.

Newlyweds After 25 Years “Before we met, you and I were halves unjoined except in the wide rivers of our minds. We were each other’s distant shore, the opposite wings of a bird, the other half of a seashell. We did not know the other then, did not know our determination to keep alive the cry of one riverbank to the other.” These lines are the opening words of The Commitment Reading of the Pueblo Indian , which Judy Hostetler and Shawndra Miller chose for their wedding ceremony in October of this year. I found the entire piece quite beautiful, and so apt for these two women who have been together in a committed relationship for 25 years! I spoke with them recently, and would like to share some of their thoughts: ER : How were the two of you “halves unjoined” and “the opposite wings of a bird” before you came together? Judy: I was a whole person; I wasn’t incomplete, but I had this strong wing that needed another for me to really soar. You kind of want your ‘wing’ to be joined with someone else’s, but you don’t know where this bird is going to take you! Shawndra : When I was a baby, my mother said I was always saying “zu-dee, zu-dee.” Now we wonder if Judy and I were together before? I was saying “zu-dee” to remind myself of whom I was supposed to be looking for. We were a distant shore for all of our early lives. Certain things had to happen (for both of us) before we larly when it is very different than mine. Maybe empathy is the word. ER : Any thoughts about marriage per se? I mean, I assume the legal reason and benefits and so on are part of it, but what else? Why get married when you already have a successful 25-year relationship? Judy: When you’ve been together for over 20 years, there’s a comfort that develops and there’s often no need to say anything or do anything but just be together. So getting married is less about solidifying a commitment that’s already there and more about celebrating what we already have. Shawndra: The legal part is very important from a practical standpoint, but being part of the movement in our country at this point in history is exciting and fun. It makes us feel like we are a part of society in a different way because we can participate in this vital social structure equally. Judy and Shawndra also talked with me about their vision for their life in the coming years. They had already become strongly connected with many people in their wonderful neighborhood in Indianapolis. Their shared vision for these next years is to deepen their connections with their community and to bring the spirit of love, friendship, mutual support and encouragement to their friends and neighbors. Judy and Shawndra were married October 15, 2013, at McClure’s Beach on the Point Reyes peninsula. Rev. Elizabeth River is an ordained Interfaith Minister based in the North Bay. For more information, please visit www. marincoastweddings.com.

Weddings Elizabeth River could “keep alive the cry of one riverbank to the other…to reach each other’s distant shore.” ER: What would you say is the most significant thing in your life about who you are and what you bring to the world that might not ever have been brought forth had you not found each other and had these 25 years together? Shawndra: I think that I have experienced more trust because of Judy’s presence in my life. Seeing how she interacts with people has taught me about being comfortable in my skin. There’s the growing sense of being able to love and care without “fixing” someone. I don’t know if I would have figured that out. Judy : I think that because of Shawndra I am better able to put myself in someone else’s shoes and understand what the other person’s reality is like, particularly when it is very different than mine. I think that, because of Shawndra, I am better able to put myself in someone else’s shoes and understand what the other person’s reality is like, particu-

PHOTO COURTESY OF MONICA LEVIN AND NANCY IGDALOFF

Judy Hostetler and Shawndra Miller were married at McClure’s Beach with Rev. Elizabeth River officiating. 8 BAY TIMES DECEM B E R 1 9 , 2 0 1 3

PHOTO COURTESY OF ELIZ ABETH RIVER

Marvin Burrows: Love Warrior Last weekend, our community lost one of our most powerful advocates and a truly wonderful person: Marvin Burrows. Marvin came out 62 years ago – in 1951 – at age 15. A couple years later he met Bill, whom he would marry at San Francisco City Hall on February 13, 2004, 51 years later. In his own words from testimony to the United States Senate Judiciary Committee: “I met the love of my life, William Duane Swenor, in 1953. He was 15 and I was 17. My father found out and told me to leave home if I continued to see Bill. After my dad kicked me out I had no place to go, and I was still in high school. I stayed with my grandmother until Bill could ask his mother if I could move in with them. She gave her permission, I moved in, and from that time on we lived as a committed couple.” After 51 years together, Marvin described his wedding to Bill as “the best time in our lives…” But the courts declared Marvin and Bill’s marriage and the marriages of over 4,000 other same-sex couples who married in San Francisco in 2004 “null and void.” And as Marvin and Bill began to fight back with thousands of others, Bill died suddenly. Because their marriage had been declared to be illegal, Marvin was denied the legal rights and dignity that every American should have. The indignity began almost immediately after Bill passed away. “When Bill passed I called the cremation service that had taken care of my mother… However, they told me that I did not have the right to dispose of

not recognize their marr iage, even after 52 years together. Marvin was forced to move from the home that he and Bill had shared for over three decades. In Marvin’s words, “I lost my lifelong partner, my home, our animals, income, my health insurance, and even my bed and furniture all in one fell swoop.” Marvin fought back in every way and with everyone he possibly could. Over the years, Bill and Marvin had built strong personal relationships with many of Bill’s fellow local union members – all of whom identif ied as straight – and the union members had deep respect for Bill. They and many others stood up with Marvin, and after a 3-year struggle, the national union finally relented and awarded Bill’s pension to Marvin, saying it was “the right thing to do for a fellow member.” The victory was a public policy breakthrough for same-sex couples everywhere. Marvin was a wonderful friend, and an inspiring activist with organizations including Marriage Equality USA, Lavender Seniors, GLOBE, Meals on Wheels, and California Senior Leaders at UC Berkeley, just to name a few. His legacy inspires us all to continue to stand up together and never give up. John Lewis and Stuart Gaffney, together for nearly three decades, were plaintiffs in the California case for equal marriage rights decided by the California Supreme Court in 2008. They are leaders in the nationwide grassroots organization Marriage Equality USA.

Marriage Equality Stuart Gaffney and John Lewis, Marriage Equality USA (Bill’s) body…(because they) considered us to be only ‘roommates,’ basically legal ‘strangers.’” That was only the beginning. Soon thereafter, the Social Security Administration denied Marvin spousal survivor benefits and Bill’s labor union denied Marvin survivor pension benefits because the law would

PHOTO COURTESY OF MARRIAGE EQUALIT Y USA

Marvin Burrows and his husband Bill Swenor on their wedding day at San Francisco City Hall

Best man Chris Pagni and witnesses Stu Smith and Dave Earl were at SF City Hall for the wedding of grooms Richard Hill and Bill Kluver. The ceremony, held in front of the bust of Harvey Milk at the top of the stairs, was followed by a luncheon party at Original Joe’s, a favorite place that members of the wedding party have enjoyed for more than 60 years.

Following the US Department of Defense’s approval allowing up to 7 days leave for servciemembers to travel to a state where gay marriage is legal, Supervisor Scott Wiener worked with the SF County Clerk’s office to assist with scheduling for weddings at SF City Hall. Ensign Michael Balisteri and Joey Brown were among those whose recent weddings were scheduled under the new rules.

Poinsettia Wedding Cake for the Holiday Season from the Twisted Sifter Cake Shoppe (www.thetwistedsifter.com) BAY T IM ES DEC EM BER 19, 2013 9

PHOTO SOURCE: NEWSLETTER OF SUPERVISOR SCOTT WIENER

PHOTO COURTESY OF STU SMITH

A More Equal 2014 Let me explain.

Kim Corsaro Publisher 1981-2011

2261 Market Street, No. 309 San Francisco CA 94114 Phone: 415-503-1375 525 Bellevue Avenue Oakland CA 94610 Phone: 510-846-8158 E-mail: editor@sfbaytimes.com www.sfbaytimes.com

Even though same sex couples in California can finally choose marriage and have it recognized by the feds, our tax policy was penalizing them for being unable to marry. Until DOMA was overturned, employer-provided health insurance benefits for unmarried same sex partners and children were subject to federal income tax. And, progressive employers - like Facebook, Google, Bank of America, Microsoft, and Time Warner – started reimbursing these employees the amount of these unfair federal taxes. The rub is that these reimbursements from LGBTsupportive employers are subject to state income tax.

California will soon have an easier, far less expensive system for transgender Californians to change their name and obtain a birth certificate that conforms to their gender identity. Until now, a person seeking a name change had to publish a public notice in a newspaper for four weeks and then petition a court to grant the name change if no one files a written objection. That system is both expensive and invasive of privacy. Starting next year, for transgender Californians, the newspaper publication requirement is repealed and courts will be required to grant a name change if no one files an objection with the court. In addition, transgender people will no longer need to obtain a court order to change a birth certificate. Finally, California will help ensure that the rights of transgender youth are protected at school. Authored by my colleague from San Francisco, Assemblyman Tom Ammiano, the new law requires schools to integrate transgender youth into every aspect of schooling according to their gender identity. That means all students in K-12 schools must be permitted to participate in school programs and activities, like athletic teams, and use school bathrooms and locker rooms according to gender identity. This will really help parents and students understand their rights while ensuring that schools are not creating stressful and even humiliating challenges for transgender youth at school. Some of this year’s victories for LGBT equality have been years in the making. All of them are cause for cheer, celebration, and hope for the future. These deep-seated feelings are an inspiring way to begin the New Year and a new push to expand equality even more in California. Happy Holidays. Phil Ting (D-San Francisco) represents the 19th Assembly District in the California State Assembly, which includes portions of San Francisco and South San Francisco as well as Daly City and Colma.

The Bay Times was the first newspaper in California, and among the first in the world, to be jointly and equally produced by lesbians and gay men. We honor our history and the paper’s ability to build and strengthen unity in our community. Dr. Betty L. Sullivan Jennifer L. Viegas Co-Publishers & Co-Editors

Guest Editorial Phil Ting I always take stock of what I’m grateful for around the holidays. After having completed my first year as a member of the state legislature, the list of things for which I am thankful this year is a bit different because my position as a lawmaker enables me to change California in new ways on issues that I care about. Fighting for civil rights is what inspired me to enter politics. So, I am especially grateful for this year’s victories for equality because they will make next year the most equal year ever for LGBT Californians. That’s a comforting and exciting thought to bring in the New Year. Although the year’s most dramatic breakthroughs came with the United States Supreme Court overturning Proposition 8 and the Defense of Marriage Act (DOMA) last June, a series of new state laws taking effect next year will help LGBT Californians of all ages be who they are and live their lives. Altogether, they provide for greater, lifechanging LGBT equality in taxation, health care, education and gender identity.

Talk about taxing the victim. This outrageous situation motivated me to change state law and I did when Governor Jerry Brown signed my Assembly Bill 362 a couple of months ago. It exempts from state tax the value of these employer reimbursements for five years. This will provide same sex couples a window of time to transition to marriage, now that this is a choice available to them, and do so when they are ready. Continuing with health care, another new law requires the administrators of senior care facilities to receive training about the needs of LGBT seniors and their families. We created this law to help end the indignity faced by aging LGBT rights pioneers who have gone back into the closet upon entering a care facility for fear of discrimination. All seniors deserve to be treated in a respectful manner while receiving the care they need, especially by institutional providers caring for seniors unable to care for themselves or those seniors who need moderate assistance with daily living and medical services. This new law will help induce tolerance among care centers from the top down. We also passed two laws to help transgender Californians live according to their gender identity.

Ayana Baltrip Balagas Design Direction & Production Abby Zimberg Design & Production Kate Laws Business Manager

RJ obert uan TF orres uggiti R Pobert oet-In-R F esidence uggiti C alendar Editor J.H. Herren Technology Kit Kennedy Director Poet -In-R Barbara B rust / esidence Lucille Design Barbara B Technical rust / L Aucille dviser Design Webmaster & Technology Director Jennifer Mullen W eb Coordinator M ario Ordonez Juan O rdonez M ario O rdonez Distribution Juan Ordonez Distribution Advertising CalendarE E xecutive ditor Juan .com K@ itsfbaytimes Kennedy

The Value of a Tired, Old Custom There are at least two other very good reasons for adopting this practice. First, hope and optimism are indispensable attitudes in accomplishing any long term goals, and a key element in living optimistically is setting goals, making plans, and acting as if we can achieve them. Second, the first step in realizing any goal is to visualize it clearly. It’s not that there’s any magic in visualizing per se, as some proponents of positive thinking seem to think, but that we’re more focused when we know clearly and in detail what we’re trying to achieve. That’s why I think making New Year’s resolutions is not a tired and meaningless custom, but an important tool in directing our lives. One way to begin this process is to spend some time asking the big questions. Here you are on this planet that is out in the middle of nowhere, aware and alive for a brief period of time. How do you want to spend this time? What is of ultimate importance to you? What values do you want to serve? How would you like to be remembered by others when you’re gone? Imagine the best of all possible lives for yourself. Make a detailed list of every dream that matters to you, no matter how extravagant or impossible it might seem. Don’t censor or hold yourself back in any way. Once you’ve done this process of self-reflection, look for the common themes. Some people find it helpful at this point to write a brief “mission statement,” a one-paragraph description of what is most important for them to do in this life. The next step is to ask yourself what you can do during the next twelve months to bring your life more in alignment with your guiding values. This is the time to get practical and specif ic. Don’t just resolve, for instance, to “get in better shape” in the coming year. What does that mean? Are you talking about strength, flexibility or cardiovascular fitness? What kind of exercise will meet your specific goals? Where will you do it? How frequently? What time of day? And so on. Your resolutions should be an action plan of several specific new actions you intend to take during the coming year. Once you have your list, don’t just file it away and forget about it. Keep the list in a place where you’ll see it regularly. Some of your resolutions can have specific deadlines attached to them. If you’re resolving to update your resume and submit it to six new employers, for instance, or if you’re planning to take some classes or join organizations, by what date do you intend to complete these goals? Make sure you have a calendar or personal organizer in which these dates are noted. It’s also a good idea to set aside a specific date every quarter of the coming year when you’ll review the entire list to see what you’ve accomplished and what changes or additions you need to make to the list. Your resolutions should not be something you casually toss off in a hangover on New Year’s Day and then promptly forget. They should be carefully considered personal commitments that remain with you all year. Tom Moon is a psychotherapist in San Francisco. His website it www.tommoon.net.

Writers Writers Rink, Sister Dana Van Iquity, Ann Rostow, Kirsten Kruse, Kendell, Rink, Sister Dana VanKate Iquity, Ann Pollo del Mar, Heidi Beeler, Cole, Rostow, Kirsten Kruse, KateK. Kendell, Gary M. Mar, Kramer, Dennis McMillan, Pollo del Heidi Beeler, K. Cole, Tom Moon, Paul E.Dennis Pratt, Terry Baum, Gary M. Kramer, McMillan, Gypsy Love, Rafael Mandelman, Tom Moon, Paul E. Pratt, Terry Baum, Shelley MacKay, Kit Kennedy, Leslie Gypsy Love, Rafael Mandelman, Katz, Karen Williams, Gary Virginia, Shelley MacKay, Kit Kennedy, Leslie Stu Smith, Zoe Dunning, Jim Tibbs, Katz, Karen Williams, Gary Virginia, Mark Penn, Marcy Adelman, Stu Smith, Zoe Dunning, Jim Tibbs, StuartPenn, Gaffney & John Lewis Mark Marcy Adelman, Brandon Miller && Joanne Jordan, Stuart Gaffney John Lewis Kippy Marks, Brandon Miller & Naomi Joanne Jay, Jordan, Jamie Leno Naomi Zimron Kippy Marks, Jay, Jamie Leno Zimron Photographers Photographers Rink, Dennis McMillan, Steven Underhill, Phyllis Costa, Rink, Dennis McMillan, Cathy Blackstone, Steven Underhill,Robert Phyllis Fuggiti, Costa, Bill Wilson Cathy Blackstone, Robert Fuggiti, Bill Wilson

Examined Life Tom Moon, MFT One of the reasons that many people don’t get what they want out of life is that they’re not specific and clear with themselves about just what their goals are. All too often we live from day to day, reacting to what’s thrown at us, but with only a vague sense of what we’re trying to accomplish in the long run. The custom of making New Year’s resolutions can be an important tool in helping us to act rather than merely react.

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Deck the Halls with San Franciscans night with songs so bright performed by Veronica Klaus, Jason Brock, Spencer Day, Tess Kelly, Kippy Marks and Gypsy Love; Deck the Halls with boughs of snowballs flung by Patrick Connors, Brian Basinger, Tommi Avicolli Mecca and so many who fight for the rest of us; Hark the Herald Angels Sing in gratitude for those who serve so many with so little: Charlie and Cindy Garf ield, Kaushik Roy and Shanti, Project Open Hand, Mike Smith, Lance Toma and Tom Nolan; a Holly Jolly Christmas to Pat Montandon, Brett Andrews, Michael Smithwick, Miguel Bustos and Alex Rivera, with candy canes and sweet dreams for Bob Michitarian, David Jamison, Howard Edelman, Nina Grossman, Roger Doughty, Bevan Dufty and Jeff Cotter; It Came Upon a Midnight Clear for doctors Steve Deeks, Mark Higgins, Susa Coffey, Malcolm John, Victor Valcour and everyone at Ward 86 saving lives with grace; Feliz Navidad to Ruben Gamundi, Marty Courson, Jim Oswald, Terry Beswick, Mike Shriver and Keith Folger and The Castro Country Club; Jingle Bells again for some of our legally married couples like Rick Hill & Bill Kluver, Dan Andrade & Mark Chapman, Crispin Hollings & Luis Casillas, Craig Palmer & Allen Habel; I’m Dreaming of a White Christmas with Roma, Heklina, Rumi, Paul Pratt, Joshua Grannel, M ichael Soldier, Zachary Davenport, Billie Parker, Donna Merlino and Monica Larson; Silver Bells are ringing thanks to Ken Henderson, Joe Seiler, The Richmond Ermet A IDS Foundation, Skip Ziobron, Bill Lanese, Paula West, Connie Champagne, Lawrence Helman, Matthew Martin, Cookie Dough and The Drag Show ; I Saw Mommy Kissing Santa Claus in front of Barbara Garcia, David Campos, Jane Kim, Rafael Mandelman and Matt Dorsey; Do You Hear What I Hear in print, radio and television from Betty Sullivan & Jennifer Viegas, Liam Mayclem, Jan Wahl, Rink, Sister Dana and The Thrillpeddlers; ChestG LASS E YE STUD IO, SEATTL E WASHI N GTON

CALENDAR CALENDAR Event listings for consideration to be included in the Bay Times online or Event listings for consideration to be print Calendar section should be sent included in the Bay Times online orby e-mail to: calendar@sfbaytimes.com. print Calendar section should be sent by e-mail to: calendar@sfbaytimes.com. LETTERS TO THE EDITOR TO EDITOR If LETTERS you would like to THE write a letter to the with comment on an article Ifeditor you would like to write a letter toor the suggestions the Bayon Times, email us editor withfor comment an article or at editor@sfbaytimes.com. suggestions for the Bay Times, email us at editor@sfbaytimes.com. © 2013 Bay Times Media Company Co-owned by Betty L. Sullivan © 2013 Bay Times Media Company & Jennifer L. Viegas Co-owned by Betty L. Sullivan & Jennifer L. Viegasonly. Reprints by permission Reprints by permission only.

Don't Call It Frisco Stu Smith Jingle Bells to Jewelle Gomez, Diane Sabin, Phyllis Lyon, Gary Virginia and Scott Wiener; tis the season to be jolly with Tom Ammiano, Marga Gomez, Xavier Toscano and Josh Klipp; Joy to the World as Martuni’s fills the

nuts Roasting on an Open Fire for Bill Dawes, George Bridges, Mark Hespeth, Marcus Hankins and Jim Wier; Away in a Manger drinking sparkling cider with Pete Gentile, Ken Christy, Tom Redmond, Mike Magee, Billie Bertan and Tony Talbird. The Little Drummer Boy for Alan Morrell, Mike Genoshe and Timmy, Jamison DeTrolio, Jimmy Kleven, Jorge Maumer, Kenny Yun, Patrik Gallineaux, and Chr is Pagni; T he First Noel sung by Tom Jarman, Mark Miller, (continued on page 22)

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BAY TIMES DECE MB E R 1 9 , 2 0 1 3

Fortnight in Review

By Ann Rostow She Went To the Liquor Store! Is it my imagination, or have the holidays snuck up on us really fast this year? Halloween was just a week or so ago. Thanksgiving came and went in a flash. And now, I seem to have arrived at the edge of Christmas without warning. Usually, I have a month or so to complain about tacky lights and irritating music. Usually, I moan and groan about stores that prematurely deck the halls and malls with fussy kitsch. But this year, I’ve hardly noticed! The timing seems f ine. The lights and decorations are perfectly appropriate with the glaring exception of a neighbor who arranged a garish display of purple and pink centered around a big peace sign. Hey buddy. Ever heard of property values? As for shopping, our efforts at thoughtful personal gifts broke down and we got all the kids bottles of Bollinger for Christmas. Yes, it lacked imagination. But which would you rather have, a book or a bottle of excellent Champagne? So what if they’re underage! Oh I’m joking. They’re all grown up. One thing that hasn’t dropped off my annual list of holiday peeves is the commercials for jewelry. This year, I am most appalled by the ads for diamonds that are offered in weird colors and look like they came out of a gumball machine. The worst offenders are the “chocolate” diamonds that frankly look like, well, I don’t want to say the word in a family newspaper. You know, diamonds are judged on purity, on clarity, on the remarkable fractal glint. They are gifts from Earth, from Nature herself, forged over millennia, extracted with great effort and cut, refined and polished by master artisans. So you take this precious gem and deliberately turn it a hideous shade of brown? Sorry. Who thought of that? What’s next? A string of hand-picked pearls dyed hot pink? Blue dye in the Bollinger? And then there’s the mild, but still annoying, sexism of the whole “he went to Jarrod” theme, as if women are dolls to be adorned with trinkets or little girls to be enchanted by a glittery bauble. A sub-theme here is the notion that the clueless guy has to be educated or else he might buy his wife a chain saw. Let’s just say that the gender stereotypes abound during the Christmas season. For the record, none of this rant should be interpreted to mean that I personally would reject a gift from Jarrod if Mel is inclined to wander over there. Just don’t get me colored diamonds. What’s The Matter With India? I’m sorry to toss bad news into our festive ambiance, but a couple of weird things happened earlier this month. First, the Indian Supreme Court, or whatever the highest court is called, reinstated the nation’s sodomy laws. Yes, you read that right. Then, after several dozen same-sex couples got married in the Australian capital city of Canberra, the nation’s high court struck the local marriage equality law, declaring that marriage in Australia was a federal institution. Either the whole country legalizes marriage, or no one does. Thus died the Australian Capitol Territory marriage law that went into effect for a few days before the High Court ruled. I can hear some of you thinking, so what? Who cares what happens in Canberra or Calcutta? There’s a part of me that also ignores news from distant lands, but still. Throughout this extraordinary last few years in the United States, our victories have arrived against a background of global progress. As we’ve celebrated marriage in Maine and Minnesota, we’ve been dimly aware that marriage has also been legalized in Uruguay, or some part of Mexico, or France or the U.K. Gay rights may advance beneath our radar in foreign climes, but it’s still pleasant to sense the growing trend in the right direction. All the bad things that have happened in the world seem located in Africa, or the Middle East or Russia. Subconsciously, I simply figure that these areas will catch up eventually. But India? Really? Laws in India against unnatural sex were codif ied in the mid-1800s by whatever British overseers were assigned to such tasks. Like other sodomy laws, they evolved into a weapon for antigay police or officials, but it seemed they lost their teeth back in 2009, when a lower court ruled that they could not be enforced except in cases of rape or underage sex. That ruling, out of the Delhi Supreme Court, was not appealed by the federal government. But into the breach leapt a group of right wing religious types to send the issue to the nation’s top jurists. It was universally assumed that the High Court would go along with the lower court, but instead the justices came out with their own version of Bowers v Hardwick, right down to a comment from one justice who said he doesn’t know any gay people. The Court said basically that the law is not a big deal, and that homosexuals don’t really constitute a class deserving of constitutional attention. If the law is that bad, they said, then it should be overturned through the political process. The good news is that many of India’s parliamentary leaders were also pretty shocked by the decision, and a proposal to repeal the sodomy law will likely be presented for debate before too long. That said, who knows the inner workings of the Indian Parliament? Not me, but my impression is that it’s neither a bastion of liberalism nor a model of comity. Will the sodomy repeal languish as other issues take precedence? The bottom line is that these two reversals, one after another, remind us that we’re not done. We’re not done in the world, and we’re not done here at home, where a setback could strike just as easily. It’s a warning against complacency. Guarding Georgia I always manage to ignore warnings against complacency, don’t you? There’s something so enjoyable and relaxing and pleasant about complacency. And what’s the alternative? Worry, anxiety, Plan B, wariness, pessimism. That’s no fun. And surely not during the holidays! Here’s some good news. You know those antigay states that were insisting that members of their national guard could not sign up for same-sex marriage benefits unless they traveled to a federal facility? They’ve all dropped their stubborn defiance and agreed to, well, follow the law as articulated by the Supreme Court and the Defense Department. State national guards are basically branches of the federal government, so it matters little what Georgia or Texas thinks of marriage equality. Nonetheless, these and some other states tried to sidestep recognition of same-sex marriages by refusing to process paperwork for married gay guards, despite stern warnings from Chuck Hagel and company. Bottom line: They’ve all caved. Ha! And one of those pompous little Christian business owners got shot down by an administrative judge in Colorado, who ordered Masterpiece Cakeshop to suck it up and stop discriminating against gay wedding clientele. The Denver bakers insisted that they would be happy to make a birthday cake for a gay man or woman, but drew the line at weddings or commitment ceremonies because they did not want to violate God’s rules and regulations. (Cue: loud thunderclap) The judge noted that the bakers operate a public establishment, subject to state antidiscrimination law, and that neither a claim of artistic free speech or religious expression could exempt them from a general, secular statute. The bakers cannot become a law under themselves; they cannot violate the rights of gay customers and parade their prejudice in the trappings of faith. Good. I really hate this line of “defense” against gay rights laws. And I long to see other mean-spirited entrepreneurs get their comeuppance at the hands of thoughtful judges. Big Deal Over Big Love So, I have to take issue with the headline writers who have recently proclaimed that a federal judge in Utah “struck down polygamy laws.” I mean, come on! Indeed the judge ruled against a bizarre statute that banned “religious cohabitation.” As far as I understand it, you could live with six or seven roommates in Utah, but not if you considered yourselves a polygamous household. At the same time, the judge also made clear that you could only have one legal marriage. By rights, the headlines should have read: “Judge Legalizes Large Households.” In other words, polygamy laws are alive and well in Utah, but you wouldn’t know it from the reaction by our friends on the Other Side. “We told you so! First same-sex marriage, and now…polygamy! Everyone scoffed at the idea of a slippery slope. And here we go, sliding off the cliff!” I don’t know if conservatives just haven’t bothered to look at the details of the case, or whether they’ve cynically turned it into a deceptive talking point, but it’s bothersome. Speaking of polygamy, I read another dark warning from the Family Research Council about the threat of same-sex couples getting married twice, once to a same-sex spouse, and subsequently to an opposite-sex spouse. It seems that this might be possible under the laws of states that do not recognize gay couples and, in fact, the Attorney General of North Dakota recently wrote that a married gay spouse would have the right to enter a straight marriage in his state without getting a divorce. Since he or she would not be considered married to begin with, it would be perfectly legal to apply for a straight license and check off the box marked “single.” I’m not sure what the writer was worried about. Did she want North Dakota to recognize the gay marriage and preclude the straight one? Is she worried that the straight couple might have problems down the road if they move to a state that recognizes the first marriage? Here again, the headline on this story read: “Legal Opinion: Same Sex Marriage Could Lead to Polygamy,” although it’s not clear how this horrif ic descent might be navigated. Let’s be clear. The patchwork of marriage policies across the country will create numerous complications. At the same time, I don’t think we have to devote much attention to the many gay couples that break up and run off to the Red States with their straight paramours. The Unbearable Lightness of Baker What else. I have some news about Methodists. Spike that. And a Pennsylvania official has asked the Third Circuit to rule on whether the 1972 same-sex marriage case of Baker v Nelson is a legitimate Supreme Court precedent. Hmmm. Now that’s an interesting subject. Oh stop. It really is. Our foes in the legal fight for marriage cling to this forty-year-old one-liner from the High Court as if to a branch that is saving them from falling into a canyon. Yes, back in the day the Supremes (continued on page 22)

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BAY T IM ES DEC EM BER 19, 2013 11

Caring for Self During the Holidaze Listen with your heart. Keep it open like your ears. Live honestly, openly and without regret. Practice thinking positive thoughts. Practice speaking positive words. Practice taking positive action. Practice having your thoughts and words match your actions. Trust your intuition. Use it! Study people. Read books. Exercise your mind and your body will follow. Don’t depend on anyone. Be dependable! Learn to play the instrument you always wanted to play. Sing! Laugh a lot. See the humor in all things. Giggle. Laugh ‘til you cry. Tune into your own biorhythm. Follow it. Let Your Spirit Soar Look within for your self. It’s there waiting for some attention. Pray, chant, meditate, sit quietly, reflect, contemplate. Let go and let yourself heal. Rediscover grace. Love yourself in a different way today. Pay attention to the part of you that needs love. Remind yourself that you have a right to be happy.

You are worthy of respect. Affirm YOU! Make up affirmations just for you. Put them where you can see them every day. Repeat them often. Make up new ones. Example: I am kind, loving, creative, confident, empathic, intuitive, wise, capable, intelligent, beautiful, warm, nurturing, responsible, sensual, and free. Well, eno ugh about me! Make up your own, write your lines below: __________________________ __________________________ __________________________ __________________________ Self Care Take a long walk…alone. L et t he ear t h’s st reng t h enter through your soles. Talk to the spirits of the oceans, the seas, the rivers and the mountains. Wash your soul in the river of your own tears. Bathe your heart in the warmth of hugs, from anyone. Trust your friends wholly or get some new ones that you can. Friendship is platinum. Always think the best first. Love everyone you can. Love with your whole self. Respect yourself. Respect everyone. Rest. Sleep. Nap. Tune out, turn in. Put your feet up, lay your head down. S-L-E-E-P! Write every day. Write a poem. Write a letter. Write your lover. Write your goals. Remember your dreams are your reality. Pray for all your dreams to come true. Karen is also chanting “Nam-myohorenge-kyo” for world peace. For more information, go to www.sg i- u sa .org or contact her at Karen@sf baytimes.org.

Speak Up! Speak Out! Laugh Often!

Karen Williams It’s that time of the year when codependents rejoice, families freak out and the only real victors appear to be in retail. Whether we like or dislike this time of year, it is inevitable that some issues will surface and you may stumble upon your own selfdoubt. After all, the “holidaze” don’t come with a handbook, though they should. Since the launch of my latest career as a motivational speaker, I am experiencing a great deal of success based upon my handbook entitled Karen Williams’ Caring for Self Handbook of Axioms, Idioms & Common-Sense Tips. I use this handbook as a guideline for my talks as well as during my workshops on “The Healing Power of Humor” and “Humor and Stress Management in the Workplace.” I feel that it is very important to exercise self-care, particularly for care-givers and those in healing professions. Thus, I offer two chapters of my handbook to help you get through the dazzle and daze of the upcoming weeks. Keep in mind that the most important person throughout the season is you! Here’s hoping that these simple suggestions make a difference in your holiday experience. Peace and Love… Positive Living Speak Up, Speak Out, Laugh Often. Words are golden. Words are our currency. Go for broke. Silence is quicksilver. Catch it when you can.

Where Will You Spend Your Holidays? Wave, Pebble & Bow

By Kit Kennedy Pick up the pebble, otherwise why do you have hands, those vessels of touch? Or eyes the hammock where memory naps and awakens? This season take yourself to the ocean, stand at the lip, listen to sand and surf converse. Imagine the bow you will select. Will it be the hue of persimmon or pomegranate, the matted grey of pigeon or gull, the velvet of crow, morning moon, cresting wave? Laugh when you realize no bow necessary when a gift cannot be wrapped. Yes, go to the ocean and remember carry a small sack – a few apples or pears, handful of nuts, nibbles of cheese. Small but enough to share as you step into the circle be amazed – outside/inside gleaming & sparkling.

Kit Kennedy is the “Bay Times” Poet in Residence.

12 BAY TIMES DECE MB E R 1 9 , 2 0 1 3

PHOTO BY ABBY ZIMBERG

Time to Say Thanks and to Keep the Momentum Going

By Roger Doughty What a year! By almost any measure, this has been one extraordinary year in LGBT people’s long quest for equality, freedom, and dignity. Sixteen states and the District of Columbia have full marriage equality. A bill to protect LGBT people from workplace discrimination passed the U.S. Senate. Transgender exclusions are now prohibited in California health plans. The President of the United States invoked Stonewall – along with Selma and Seneca Falls – as milestones in the centuries-old American march toward justice. Yep, it has been a phenomenal year. As 2013 rolls rapidly toward its end, we have an awful lot to be proud of, excited about – and grateful for. Rarely have there been so many reasons to be hopeful about the LGBT future. And never has there been a better time to demonstrate that hope by making a year-end contribution to an LGBT organization that will continue to move us forward by helping to meet the needs, secure the rights, and celebrate the lives of LGBT people. History is not an accident. These changes didn’t simply fall out of the sky. They didn’t happen because of some historical inevitability or because those who oppose us suddenly gave up. Progress like we are witness to now happens for reasons. It happens because of actions taken by hundreds of thousands of us (and our allies). It happens because of the tremendous work of LGBT advocacy and service organization, and the indefatigable energy of their staffs, boards, and, of course, their volunteers. We know, however, that working hard, year-in and year-out, isn’t all that it takes. It takes more than heart and dedication and determination. It takes money. If you’ve said to yourself even once in these last few years, “I never thought it would happen in my lifetime,” it’s time now to say thanks. No one, of course, would suggest that money alone is the answer, but it’s undeniably essential to sustain the gains we’ve made, and continue to make progress. Without enough money, we don’t have advocates working day-in and dayout in legislatures and courtrooms stretching from coast to coast. We don’t get community organizations that are there to provide essential help to tens of thousands of LGBT people right here in the Bay Area who turn to them every single year. They’re there to help that young person arriving in San Francisco seeking a safe place; to help that LGBT elder find community and support; to help those with illnesses and challenges of all kinds find the care they need. From beer busts and penny jars to annual gifts and black-tie dinners, individual givers have always been the backbone of our community, and are

End of the Year Giving with Horizons Foundation —

Representatives from recipient groups and organizations gathered to celebrate with Horizons. still the single most important source of funding for LGBT organizations. I hope you will look back on this exceptional year, and celebrate its many accomplishments by making a gift to a non-profit organization that will help us move towards a time described in Horizons’ vision statement, “where all people live free from prejudice and discrimination and where lesbian, gay, bisexual, and transgender people contribute to and thrive in a vibrant, diverse, giving, and compassionate community.” Happy holidays from Horizons Foundation. Roger Doughty is the Executive Director of Horizons Foundation. Deb Stallings and Roger Doughty proudly displaying the composite check.

QGiving Guide Assists With Year-End Donations to LGBT Orgs Deb Stallings, Director of Development at Horizons Foundation, tells us that Horizons has created a great tool to help donors make tax deductible year-end gifts to the LGBT community, though “for most people it’s far less about the tax-deduction than about the good feeling that comes from supporting causes we care about during this season of giving,” she says. “It’s also one of the most hectic times of the year for many folks, so we created the QGiving Guide, a printed and online resource to help connect donors to great organizations,” Stallings continued. The Guide lists over 120 LGBT organizations throughout the Bay Area that work across the spectrum of the community, including arts and culture, civil rights, health and human services, community building and spirituality. Stallings says providing philanthropic counseling to help donors decide how and where to give is one of the best parts of her work at Horizons. “It’s a real honor to help people put their passion and compassion into action. Think what we could accomplish if we all did that!” To view the guide, please go to: hor i zonsfou ndat ion.org/page/do nors/donorresources.

Bay Times photographer Rink has been all over town throughout the holiday season! Here is a collection of Rink’s images from the Academy of Friends Holiday Party at Gumps, Project Open Hand’s Hand to Hand Luncheon, SF Lesbian/Gay Freedom Band’s Dance A long Nutcracker 2013, Imperial Court’s Holiday Package Wrapping Fundraiser, Gary Virginia’s Holiday Leather Brunch, Shanti Life Program’s Holiday Party, the SF Gay Men’s Chorus Shine Concert at the War Memorial Opera House and more!

BAY T IM ES DEC EM BER 19, 2013

PHOTOS C OURT ESY OF HORIZON S F OUN DAT ION

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Sister Dana Sez: Words of Wisdumb From a Fun Nun Day Band entertained with seasonal carols for the huge crowd gathered in front and f lowing into the street. Terry of Cliff’s Hardware and Castro Merchants Association, Senator Mark Leno, and Supervisor Scott Wiener addressed the audience, and then along came Santa with two of his lively elves, sounding a siren and riding a special police vehicle. ACA DEMY OF FRIENDS held its HOLIDAY R ECEP TION AT GUMP’S as a festive holiday fundraiser and chance to purchase gorgeous decorations and presents. The event featured music (the always enchanting Sharon McNight sang), drinks, and light appetizers. In addition, AoF Board Chair Howard Edelman and Vice Chair Matthew Denckla spoke about the Oscar-themed agency’s continued efforts to raise monies for HIV/AIDS services in the SF Bay Area. There was also an update on the 2014 gala “Return to the Emerald City” in March during the Academy Awards ceremony. T H E R I C H M O N D/ E R M E T A IDS FOU N DAT ION presented HELP IS ON THE WAY FOR THE HOLIDAYS XII, produced by Executive Director Ken Henderson and Chairman Joe Seiler as a stellar AIDS fundraising gala and show at Marines Memorial Theatre with a star-studded cast: Tim Hockenberry (America’s Got Talent semi-finalist); comedian /Broadway (Hairspray) star Bruce Vilanch ; TV, film and stage star Jason Brock; Jai Rodriguez Broadway (Rent) / TV (Queer Eye / Celebrity Duets) star; Tony-nominated cabaret star Sharon McNight; cabaret star Carly Ozard ; cabaret star Shawn Ryan ; jazz star K im Nalley ; Broadway ( Phantom of the Opera) star Davis Gaines ; singers Jessica and Jennifer Corker ; singer Veronica Powers; Grammy Award-winning singer Debby Boone (“You Light Up My Life”); singer, actor, composer Tom Lowe; The UK’s vocal whiz CeCe Sammy; and cast members from Avenue Q (now playing at New Conservatory Theatre Center) and from Book of Mormon. CUMMING UP! It’s always fun to get together with the girls during the holidaze, and by “girls,” I am referring to THE GOLDEN GIRLS - THE CHRISTMAS EPISODES with their limited engagement - with only this week, Thursday, Friday, Saturday @ 8pm and Sunday @ 7pm left for a special visit with these classic old sitcom broads. The annual show always stars Heklina as sarcastic Dorothy, Cookie Dough as her wisecracking elderly mother Sophia, Matthew Martin as the over-fifty/oversexed seductress Blanche, & Pollo Del Mar as dumb as a box of rocks Rose, and for this run co-stars Laurie Bushman, Manuel Caneri, Peter Griggs & Jordan Wheeler. Also there is always a celebrity guest star in a walk-on role that gets the crowd going. The show opens with the “Thank you for being a friend” theme song, which you are encouraged to sing along. But that’s it. Do NOT recite your fave lines with the actresses, because drag queens are easily distracted by anything but laughter, clapping, and hooting. There are also commercials from the era (“I want my baby-back baby-back babyback...ribs”) to give the actors time for a costume change, or to indicate passage of time. Episode one, “Rose t he Pr ude/ Blanche and the Younger Man,” addresses dating dilemmas of the older set. Episode two, “Ladies of the Evening,” involves hilarious mistaken identity. The Girls hang out at The Victoria Theatre, 2961 - 16th Street @ Mission Street. Tix and info: goldengirlssf.eventbrite.com. Wear your tackiest, glitziest Christmas sweater! SHINE - OUR BRIGHTEST HOLIDAY SHOW EVER!” was a dazzling musicale by THE SAN FRANCISCO GAY MEN’S CHORUS at the Opera House on December 6th, and will be every bit as exciting at the Castro Theatre on the 24th, with nearly 300 singers on stage, beautiful orchestrations, stunning solos, clever choreography, an amazing special guest (SF Opera Adler Fellow Marina Harris), pom-poms, snow, twinkling lights, and more! And with the Christmas Eve concert additionally comes openly gay singer Matt Alber. You can expect some fabulous surprises, which I won’t reveal, because then it wouldn’t be a surprise, would it? Just know it will blow your elf cap right off! There is both the sacred and the profane. The dual harp playing is angelic, and the dual pianos are breathtaking. There is a song dedicated to the queers suffering from rampant homophobia in Russia (“Now the Powers of Heaven” by Alexander Sheremetev). “Nutcracker Jingles” will tingle yer jingles; there’s a wacky “Waltz of the Flowers;” and how about a silent “Silent Night”?! This annual cool yule show is not to be missed, and to be crossed off your holiday bucket list. Three shows: December 24th, 5, 7, and 9pm. Tix online: sfgmc.org/events/shine or call (415) 392-4400. Make your holidays truly shine! IT’S CHRISTMAS, CAROLE! is a world-premiere human cartoon written by Michael Phillis, starring Sara Moore, Michael Phillis, Ror y Dav is, Dawn Meredith Smith , and Dave Garrett at Creativity Theater (221 4th Street at Howard Street), now through December 22nd, Thursday & Friday, 7pm, Saturday & Sunday, 2 & 5pm. It’s a sillier, modernday take on Dickens ’ Christmas Carol. itschristmascarole.com Por nucopia: Consider as a g reat triple present for the man in your l i fe t he latest from rag ingstallion . com : two f ine f licks and a sexy calendar from Open Road 1 and 2. Sister Dana sez, “This year there is a real ‘War on Christmas’; and it’s not being waged by the ACLU or the Democratic Party, as the fundies claim. This y e a r, t h e R e p u g n i c a n s a re pl a y i n g S c rooge , robb i n g 1. 3 mill i on pe o pl e across Amer ica of desperat ely needed unemployment benef its right in the middle of the holiday season - and setting the stage for robbing millions more of the same benef its later. Nancy Pelosi stood up for the unemployed in a big way, saying she won’t support any budget deal in the House that doesn’t g ua r a ntee t hese cr uc i a l benef its. But RepubliC A N’Ts refuse to extend them. Let’s tell them to drop the Grinch act!” “Happy Holidaze, and please keep the ‘X’ in Xmas!!!” S ister Dana also sez, “Happy Q ueer New Year! My alter ego turns another year older on January 1st.”

Sister Dana sez, “Author and activist Michael Pollan says, ‘If we are ever to produce food sustainably and justly, and sell it at an honest price, we will first have to pay people a living wage so that they can afford to buy it.’ And yet Repugnicans balk at a fair minimum wage while trying to do away with food stamps. Whaaaat?!” Providing food should never be a political issue. Meanwhile here in EssEff, land of liberal loving-kindness, PROJECT OPEN HAND is providing meals for the needy. Open Hand held their signature fundraiser, THE 22ND ANNUAL HAND TO HAND LUNCHEON, at The Fairmont Hotel, where “Food = Love” was the theme. We enjoyed an exquisite, multi-course meal prepared by the Bay Area’s most brilliant chefs, and simultaneously helped Project Open Hand provide 150,000 meals with love. Rachel Myrow, reporter for KQED’s “California Report” was emcee. POH Board Chair Ed Lamberger introduced Executive Director Kevin Winge, who said, “We are proud to live in a community that will not allow people in need who are sick or elderly to go hungry.” He introduced POH honorees Thomas F. Durein, Most Outstanding Individual Supporter; Broadway Cares/Equity Fights AIDS, Most Outstanding Community Partner (accepted by cast members of The Book of Mormon; and Marcia & John Goldman , Ruth Brinker Visionary Award. The strongest typhoon in the history of mankind ravaged the central part of a tiny yet beautiful country of the Philippines. So the LGBTQ community came together at Beaux bar for the HAIYAN TYPHOON RECOVERY FUNDRAISER , sponsored by the A MER ICA N CENTER OF PHILIPPINE ARTS to help survivors of that terrible tragedy. Tita Aida emceed with performances by La Monistat , Jethro, Rice Rockettes, Ms GAPA Khmera Rouge, Mr. GAPA Nguyen “Sir Whitney Queers” Pham , and many others from the Asian community. There was a “strip for cash” auction. Sisters of Perpetual Indulgence helped sell raffle tickets to the more than generous patrons. The 21st annual DONNA SACHET’S SONGS OF THE SEASON played in the Starlight Room at Sir Francis Drake Hotel with the lovely Donna emceeing such a glorious holiday crooning cast of: Dan O’Leary, Brian Kent , Matt Alber, Vicki Shepard , Abigail Zsiga , Sharon McNight and, of course, Donna Sachet. And there was even a real (fake) snowfall. For two decades this wonderful seasonal show has provided significant annual income for AIDS EMERGENCY FUND. Let’s hope this delightful tradition continues for another decade or so! Donna was extra busy that night, when prior to her Songs of the Season she emceed as Mrs. Claus at the annual CASTRO TREE LIGHTING CEREMONY in front of the Castro and 18th Street Bank of America building. The tree decor is oversized ornaments cascading in a rainbow of color, starting with red and going up the spectrum to purple - a very gay tree indeed - and fairy lights! Members of the SF Gay Men’s Chorus, Lesbian/Gay Chorus of SF, and SF Freedom

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Shawn Ryan performing at REAF’s “Help Is on the Way for the Holidays XII”

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PH OTO B Y ST EV EN UN DER H I LL

Money and Finance Begin Preparing for 2013 Tax Filing Today calendar year, you may contribute up to $23,000. • Boosting your withholding — If it looks like you’ll likely owe taxes, you can increase your withholding now to help take the bite out of the amount you’ll pay later. • Looking for losses — If you have taken capital gains on sales of stock or other assets, you may consider offsetting those gains by taking losses elsewhere in your portfolio. Year-end is a good time to review your portfolio with your tax advisor to see if sales of depreciated assets now can benefit you on tax day. Remember, mutual funds can pay long-term capital gain dividends at year-end, so you may want to check on any fund investments to see if this is right for you. • Gifting to your favorite charities — If you itemize your deductions, you can write off your charitable contributions, whether you donate clothing and household items in good used condition or give a gift of cash or appreciated securities, such as stocks or mutual fund shares that you’ve owned for at least one year (IRS rules and restrictions apply). If you are wondering whether an organization you’re giving to is approved by the IRS, visit Search for Charities at www.irs.gov. Simple ways to get organized • When it comes to tax preparation, organization is key, and the earlier you start the easier it is. Your best bet is to have a filing system that you keep in a secure location. It should include the following information: • Personal information file — List the birthdates and Social Security Numbers for you, your spouse and any children or other dependents. • Deductions f ile — Include the receipts for any items that may qualify for deductions, such as paid medical and dental invoices, charitable donations or monetary gifts, and child-care, educational and business expenses. If you have multiple deductions in several areas, consider keeping an individual file for each subject. To get a jump-start on next year’s taxes, have your filing system in place at the start of the year so that you can file as you go. • Incoming tax documents — Put all the documents that begin rolling in after the first of the year recording your annual earnings, gains and losses in a file as they arrive so you don’t misplace them or have to hunt for them later. Depending on your financial situation, there may be additional opportunities for you to reduce the amount you owe or include tax efficiency as part of your overall financial plan. For help assessing your tax situation or identifying strategies that may benefit you, consult your tax professional or financial advisor. Brandon Miller, CFP and Joanne Jordan, CFP are financial consultants at Jordan Miller & Associates, A Private Wealth Advisory Practice of Ameriprise Financial Inc. in San Francisco, specializing in helping LGBT individuals and families plan and achieve their financial goals.

Money Matters Brandon Miller, CFP & Joanne Jordan, CFP Although Tax Day may seem like it’s a long time from now, it’s never too early to evaluate your current tax situation. Doing so can enable you to take a few last-minute steps to ensure that you’re approaching your tax planning in the most efficient way. Last-minute tax-savings strategies The end of the year is just around the corner, but there are still a few things you can do to ensure your upcoming tax bill isn’t higher than expected. Consider: Increasing your employer-sponsored retirement plan contribution — The money you contribute to your plan (if it’s not a Roth) is excluded from your taxable income. So, if you aren’t on track to max out your 401(k) contribution, consider directing extra dollars to your retirement plan today. Over the course of a year (in 2013), you can contribute up to $17,500 — or 100 percent — of your compensation, whichever is less. If you are age 50 or older before the end of the

Entry and Privacy Rights

Tenant Law Nancy M. Conway, Attorney at Law In the land of landlord tenant relations, entries into premises either can be routine non-events, sometimes bringing welcome repairs, or they can be harassment and intrusions on privacy. It all depends on context. Notices of unrequested entries can portend future events. These unplanned entries sometimes foreshadow property sales, Ellis Act evictions, TIC’s and condo conversion, with the concurrent displacement of tenants, all of which instill fear in the hearts of tenants in rent controlled cities like San Francisco, Berkeley and Oakland. Entries into residential dwelling units are governed by California Civil Code Section 1954, which provides that landlords may only enter for certain delineated reasons and that written notice of proposed entries must be given at least twenty four hours in advance, except in case of emergency, such as fire or flooding. Notice can be given by slipping the information under the door, leaving it in a conspicuous place by the front door to the unit, or by leaving it at the unit with an adult at the premises or by mailing at least six days before the proposed entry. Entries are to take place during normal business hours,

which are presumed to be Monday through Friday between 9 a.m. to 5 p.m. Tenants can agree to other times and tenants can also waive the requirement for written notice. The general rules are that entries are permitted for necessary or agreed repairs, or to show the premises to potential buyers, tenants or mortgagors. Not all repairs that landlords propose to do are necessary or agreed upon. For those who feel burdened by intrusions on their peace by repeated landlord entries, they are within their legal rights to tell their landlord in writing that they do not want any unnecessary repairs. In cases where the property is being sold and exhibited for sale, twenty four hour advance verbal notice of entry for exhibiting the unit is considered sufficient notice provided that the landlord has provided notice 120 hours beforehand that the property is being sold. Section 1954 addresses the issue of the abuse of entry by landlords for harassment and specifically prohibits it. Section 1954 c states that the landlord may not abuse the right of entry or use it to harass the tenant. Some landlords have taken entries to an all new low or high, depending on your perspective, by intruding into their tenants’ privacy by installing video cameras to keep track of their tenants and their guests. Others enter and take photographs to document claimed violations of the lease. Repeated abuse can form the basis for an affirmative lawsuit against the

landlord for monetary damages and injunctive relief. If you are a tenant, keep a paper trail. Keep all of your documentation regarding entries and respond to notices in writing. If the entries are for non-requested repairs, determine if they are necessary. If not, just put together and store a copy of a note thanking your landlord for the offer to make an upgrade, but tell them you prefer to keep the property as is and that you do not wish to be disrupted. If the entry is for some inconvenient time, try to reschedule. In this day of emails and texts, be sure to save copies both on the Internet and a hard copy. Be sure that all of your documents are safe from intruders at ground zero (your home). Written complaints and documentation are critical. The landlord’s notice to you cannot be by email unless you agree to that. Your objections, however, can be by email or by mail. If your landlord or his representative does enter your unit, be sure to document the event and do not allow photos or recorded videos etc. of the entry, unless you get a copy and are otherwise agreeable to the entry. Just knowing your rights and keeping records of correspondence will relieve a great deal of anxiety, and will be of assistance if you ever need to pursue your legal rights. San Francisco-based attorney Nancy M. Conway specializes in civil litigation, tenant rights litigation, bankruptcy, family law, real estate and personal injury.

Check out the new Bay Times website: sfbaytimes.com BAY T IM ES DEC EM BER 19, 2013 15

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Arts&Entertainment Best and Worst Queer Films of 2013 wasn’t bad—in fact, she was quite entertaining as the LGBT cell’s Queen Bee. But this lurid drama directed by Jules Stewart (Kristen’s mom) was a mess. Murderous Lesbians and Queer twists WORST: Side Effects had the negative effect of having one of its big plot twists be that two characters were murderous lesbians. The film irresponsibly equated lesbianism with venality. BEST: Out filmmaker Jamie Babbit made the far more interesting—and tricky—Breaking the Girls, in which two women fall in love, exchange murders (a la Stranger on a Train) only for the delicious twists and doublecrosses to begin! Documentaries of the Year BEST Call Me Kuchu presented a wake-up call for LGBT rights in Uganda and a commemoration of the work—and murder —of African queer activist David Kato. This blistering documentary about how LGBT individuals survive, and even thrive, in a country where being gay is illegal shone a bright light on its brave subjects. Another fine doc, God Loves Uganda, also addressed the issue of being queer in Africa. HONORABLE MENTION: Valentine Road about the shocking aftermath of a gay hate crime. Beat Film. There were three films out this year that portrayed the Beats. WOR ST: K ill Your D arlings , i n which Allen Ginsberg (Daniel Radcliffe) falls in love with, and under the spell of, the murderous Lucien Carr (Dane DeHaan) was an ambitious, but largely unsuccessful, effort to capture the early Beats. BETTER: On the Road was Walter Salles’ earnest adaptation of the Kerouac classic. Sam Riley’s Sal Paradise and Garrett Hedlund as Dean Moriarity, were respectfully the Kerouac and Cassidy characters. This handsomely mounted drama captured the restless spirit with mixed results. BEST: Big Sur featuring Jean-Marc Barr as an older, alcoholic Kerouac is both beautifully filmed and superbly acted, making it the Beat film to Beat. Teen Spirit GOOD: The girls in Spring Breakers shared some same-sex kisses while Marc (Israel Broussard) in The Bling Ring loved those heels he stole. VERY GOOD: Emory Cohen gave a knockout performance as a gay teen who has a date with a much older, married A frican A merican man (Wendell Pierce) in the remarkable drama Four. BEST: The gay couple, Luis (Luis Figueroa) and Brandon (Brandon Diaz), in the enchanting comedy-drama The We and the I. The treatment of these queer students seen on a long bus ride home was truly honest, never sensationalizing their sexuality or demeaning them for being gay. Gay Directors, Straight Films GOOD: Bill Condon’s Fifth Estate was an entertaining enough drama about Julian Assange, but it never quite reached the depths it might have plumbed. BEST: Lee Daniel’s The Butler was a remarkable history of civil rights in America as seen through the eyes of a White House Butler played by Forest Whitaker, but it contained no queer content. Gay Directors, Gay Films BEST: Spanish bad-boy Pedro Almodovar created one of his funniest and gayest films in decades with I’m So Excited, about a trio of gay flight attendants attending to panic-stricken first class passengers when their landing gear fails. HONORABLE MENTION: François Ozon’s splendid In the House was a return to queer storytelling for the out auteur. He tells the complex, but seductive, story of a student who en(continued on page 22) Film

Gary M. Kramer With actors and filmmakers taking challenging roles, 2013 was another Queer Year for Film. Here’s a rundown of the year’s queer films and trends, including the good, better, best, and worst of 2013. BEST Queer Film of the Year: Blue Is the Warmest Color. It was three hours long. It had explicit lesbian sex scenes. It won big at Cannes. And it’s a masterpiece, an intimate, erotic, and ecstatic romantic drama that captures issues of self-worth and self-expression in ways that are both authentic and devastating. Plus, lead actress Adèle Exarchopoulos gives a phenomenal performance. Trans Performance by a Straight Actor BEST IN A GOOD FILM: Jared Leto will likely score an Oscar nomination for his terrif ic portrayal of Rayon in the AIDS drama Dallas Buyers Club. BEST IN A BA D F ILM: Kate del Castillo’s scenery-chewing performance as a trans inmate in K-11

Anthony LaGuardia of Disney’s Beauty and the Beast Wisconsin native Anthony LaGuardia is def initely more handsome beauty than beast. As a cast member of “Disney’s Beauty and the Beast” on stage, he helps to bring life to this “tale as old as time” that has numerous connections to our community. The Academy Award-winning music is by Alan Menken and the lyrics are by the late Howard Ashman. Ashman died of AIDS-related complications on March 14, 1991, eight months prior to the release of the film version. (Menken and Tim Rice wrote additional lyrics for the stage show.) The story, with its rejected and bullied “Beast” and unconditional love, appeals to kids, but resonates for so many of us. LaGuardia and his other talented colleagues bring it all to life on stage at the Curran Theater. Here, LaGuardia shares what’s in store for audiences. BT: Please tell us about the production, and what theatergoers can expect. AL: This NETworks’ production is the story of “Disney’s Beauty and the Beast” come to life on stage. The story is such a classic, and rings so true as you watch it unfold in front of you. With our production the actors and the music, with the help of an outof-this-world set and costume design, set the mood for audiences to fall in love all over again with this story of strength, recognizing differences, and hope and love against all odds. BT: Are many of the songs and scenes the same from Disney’s movie version of the story? How are the show and movie different? AL: Now it’s been a long time since I’ve sat down and watched the movie, but in comparing the two to my memory of the film, they are more or less the same. There will be little differences here or there because in any screen to stage adaptation there are some details lost and some gained, but I assure you it is the same Disney story that you’ve been watching and loving for years. There are, however, some new songs in the show that were added to the Broadway production back in the 90’s as well as one that was written for the movie, but was left out and, of course, the classic favorite title song “Beauty and the Beast” is in the show. BT: Please highlight any connectionseither past or present- between your show and the gay community. AL: Well, the gay community is well represented in our cast, as well as our musicians, crew, and creative team. And those who aren’t gay in our production are supportive and active members in our community who are embracing and accepting of us. After all, we are in the theatre, (so) isn’t some amount of gay representation expected? And, of course, the show itself has underlying themes of acceptance and coming together to embrace differences. Belle says at one point in the show: “In the town where I come from, people think I’m odd, so I know what it’s like to feel different, and I know how lonely it can be.” And that’s how their love story really sets into motion. BT: Is the show particularly magical for kids? How about kids at heart?

Anthony LaGuardia

AL: I think that “magic” is the best encompassing theme to describe the show. Kids fall in love with the show every night, watching the story that they love come to life in front of them, and seeing these characters that they idolize in real life. It’s exciting to watch them laugh and awe over the magic of the show, from the first mo-

ment they see Belle on stage to when the Beast and the Enchanted objects are introduced, and especially when they see the magical love story between the “Beauty” and the “Beast” set in motion. I don’t know any child or adult who wouldn’t find the magic (continued on page 22) 17

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Let Go and Grow ARIES (March 21 – April 19) Your spicy and spontaneous savoir faire is turning more than a few heads lately, Aries. Enjoy your independence, but be sure to balance impulse with intention. Listen before you leap. better. TAURUS (April 20 – May 20) Take back your truth, Taurus. Celestial stimulants stir the pot in your house of hidden secrets now. Unbind yourself from burdens you’ve buried beneath the surface. Find freedom in forgiveness. VIRGO (August 23 – September 22) Invoke your visions, Virgo. Stellar circumstances spur you on to describe your deepest desires down to every detail. The Universe is eager to receive your requests and respond accordingly. Be specific. LEO (July 23 – August 22) “Straight talk” is tricky, Leo. While your words carry wisdom, they could also cause harm if handled carelessly. Free speech is not only a right – it’s a responsibility. SAGITTARIUS (November 22 – December 21) Security cannot be bought or sold, Sagittarius. A strong sense of self is your safest sanctuary now. Bypass potential losses by banking on the bountiful benefits you were born with.

Astrology Gypsy Love By the time you finish reading this sentence, 10 million of your body’s cells will have perished and been replaced by others. This remarkable rebirthing process happens without us even noticing. Human nature knows that in order to grow, we must let go. This fundamental phenomenon is the focus of astrological aspects that carry us into the new calendar year. Where can you currently create space for future fantasies to flourish?

CAPRICORN (December 22 – January 19) Upheavals on the home front have you questioning who’s in control here. Keep calm, Capricorn. Trust in these transformations. Presently, you possess the power to manifest precisely what you want. AQUARIUS (January 20 – February 18) Pining for a pick-me-up, Aquarius? Battle boredom and rejuvenate your restless mind by tappng into topics that titillate you. Point your passion toward a new horizon of higher learning. PISCES (February 19 – March 20) Conceive it to receive it, Pisces. Energetic patterns urge you to ponder more progressively about your earning potential now. Finances flaunt a new glow when you allow imagination to flow.

GEMINI (May 21 – June 20) Join in on a jam session, Gemini. The planets are leaning into your creative pressure points now. Channel anxious energy by melding with like minds to create your next masterpiece. CANCER (June 21 – July 22) It’s your call, Cancer. Assertive astro-vibes encourage you to step up to the plate now – especially where home and career are concerned. Venture outside of your shell, and shine.

LIBRA (September 23 – October 22) Astral awakenings in your relationship sector may throw you for a loop now, Libra. Fear not. Current changes could re-charge your batteries and release you from a redundant rut.

www.AstrologyByGypsyLove.com

SCORPIO (October 23 – November 21) Sync your service with your soul, Scorpio. Tension at the workplace is tied to stress in your subconscious. The cosmos calls you to construct collaboration between these two turfs.

Gypsy Love’s astrology readings have helped 1000’s of people attract what they authentically desire.

As Heard on the Street . . .

What do you hope to see happen in 2014?

compiled by Rink

AL L PHOTOS BY RIN K

Sara Kunitake “Warm weather in 2014!”

Fernando Castillo “Love and health.”

Kippy Marks “A moratorium on evictions of the people who have made San Francisco a unique and wonderful place to live.”

Denise D’Anne “To be able to walk.”

Ken Henderson “That the Richmond/Ermet AIDS Foundation 20th Anniversary is a success.”

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See many more Calendar items @ www.sfbaytimes.com

compiled by Robert Fuggiti Tristan & Yseult – Berkeley Repertory Theatre. $29-$48. 8 pm. (2015 Addison St., Berkeley) www. berkeleyrep.org. Director Emma Rice and designer Bill Mitchell reunite to create must-see theatre, blending gorgeous music and ingenious staging. Through January 6. Movie Night at the Center – LGBT Community Center. Free. 4 pm. (1800 Market St.) sfcenter.org. Enjoy a free LGBT-themed movie screening on the last Thursday of every month. 4Bidden – The Cellar. $10. 10 pm to 2 am. (685 Sutter St.) www.cellarsf.com. A lesbian dance night playing your favorite throwback songs.

Sweet Soul Christmas – Yoshi’s SF. $25. 8 pm. (1330 Fillmore St.) www.yoshis.com. Greg Adams and East Bay Soul present a special holiday performance, Sweet Soul Christmas. The SF Rocky Horror Show – Boxcar Theatre Playhouse. $25-$45. 8 pm. (505 Natoma St.) www. sfrockyhorror.com. The mother of all cult classics comes to San Francisco. Nightlife – California Academy of Sciences. $12. 6 pm to 10 pm. (55 Music Concourse Dr.) www.noisepop.com. Enjoy a fun evening of science, cocktails and live music.

Santa Claus is Coming Out – Eureka Theatre. $20-$35. 8 pm. (215 Jackson St.) www.combinedartform.com. A comedy written and performed by Jeffrey Solomon that explores the secret romantic life of Santa and the controversy that engulfs the world when the truth is revealed. Hard Fridays – Q Bar. $2. 10 pm to 2 am. (456 Castro St.) www. qbarsf.com. A weekly party with sexy go-go dancers and a lively crowd. Friday Nights at the De Young – de Young Museum. $11. 6 pm to 8:45 pm. (50 Hagiwara Tea Garden Dr.) www.deyoung.famsf. org. Enjoy the museum in a fun, festive and dynamic atmosphere with live music and cocktails.

I Am Divine – Roxie Theater. $10. 7 pm. (3117 16th St.) www.roxie. com. A story about the iconic drag queen, Divine, who fought against what society considers conventionally beautiful. Sissy Strut – Underground SF. Free. 10 pm to 2 am. (424 Haight St.) www.undergroundsf.com. A dance party playing jams from the ‘50s, ‘60s and ‘70s. Mesh – Bench and Bar. $7. 10 pm to 2 am. (510 17th St.) www.benchand-bar.com. Celebrating the best in house music with drink specials all night long.

Golden Girls Christmas Show – Victoria Theatre. $30. 8 pm. (2961 16th St.) www.goldengirlssf.event-

The Kinsey Sicks perform at the Castro Theatre on December 28. brite.com. Enjoy a special drag performance of your favorite holiday Golden Girls episodes. GameBoi – Rickshaw Stop. $8-$15. 9:30 pm. (155 Fell St.) www.rickshawstop.com. Join the annual Christmas raffle giveaway and enjoy music by resident VJ LaRock. Midnight Show – Divas. $10. 10 pm. (1081 Post St.) www.divassf. com. The premier transgender club in San Francisco, with live DJs and performances. Fillmore St.) www.yoshis.com. A hip holiday happening with soulful jazz vocalist, Clairdee. Radical Vinyl – El Rio. Free. 8 pm. (3158 Mission St.) www.elriosf. com. A revolving cast of well known record collectors spin the most eclectic mix of vinyl you’ll find in San Francisco.

The Kinsey Sicks – Castro Theatre. $25-$40. 8 pm. (429 Castro St.) www.cityboxoffice.com. The San Francisco premiere of The Kinsey Sicks new musical comedy America’s Next Top Bachelor, Housewife Celebrity Hoarder Makeover Star Gone Wild! Amaluna – Grand Chapiteau at AT&T Park. $92-$165. 8 pm. (24 Willie Mays Plaza) www.cirquedusoleil.com. Cirque du Soleil presents an alluring performance about a mysterious island governed by a goddess. Through January 12, 2014 Winter Holiday Cartoonist – The Cartoon Art Museum. Free. 1 pm to 3 pm. (655 Mission St.) www.cartoonart.org.Visitors will be given the opportunity to talk to cartoonist Claire Tiwald, and discuss her work.

Christmas with The Celts – Yoshi’s. $28-$55. 2 pm & 6 pm. (1330 Fillmore St.) www.yoshis. com. Nashville-based group, The Celts, delivers a combination of fiery Scottish/Irish traditional instrumental tunes and vocals. Windham Hill – SF Jazz Center. $25-$60. 4 pm. (201 Franklin St.) www.sfjazz.org. Three captivating artists come together to celebrate the wintry season with their Winter Solstice. Jackie Beat’s O Holly Hell – Rebel. $26-$40. 9 pm. (1760 Market St.) www.missjackiebeat.com. Jackie Beat returns for her 8th annual holiday show.

‘Twas the Night – Davies Symphony Hall. $15-$75. 11 am. (201 Van Ness Ave.) www.sfsymphony.org. Enjoy a warm and intimate holiday program with song from the San Francisco Symphony Chorus. Nutcracker – San Francisco Ballet. $39-$385. 4 pm. (301 S.Van Ness) www.sfballet.org. Experience the beauty and athleticism of SF Ballet’s international cast of worldclass dancers in Nutcracker. Christmas Eve Mass – Most Holy Redeemer Catholic Church. Free. 8 am & 10 am. (100 Diamond St.) www.mhr.org. Join a special Christmas Eve service.

Crones for the Holidays – Exit Theater. $15. 3 pm. (156 Eddy St.) www.crackpotcrones.com. The Crackpot Crones are back for the winter holidays, rolling out a series of vignettes, improvisations, sing alongs, and sundry subversions. Resolution Dash 5K – Golden Gate Park. $25. 9:30 am. (Pioneer East Meadow, Golden Gate Park) www.picnicdash.com. Dust off your party hats for the 3rd annual Resolution Dash in Golden Gate Park, with proceeds benefitting Project Open Hand. Glamazone – The Café. Free. 9 pm to 2 am. (2369 Market St.) www.cafesf.com. Enjoy drink specials during the day and drag performances through the evening.

Natasha Miller’s Annual Holiday Concert – Yoshi’s. $20. 8 pm. (1330 Fillmore St.) www. yoshis.com. San Francisco vocalist Natasha Miller returns in celebration of her 7th CD release, The Secret of Christmas. 11th Annual Christmas Eve Show – Yoshi’s SF. $20. 8 pm. (1330 20 BAY TIMES SEPT ME B E R 6 , 2 0 1 2

Kung Pao Kosher Christmas Special – New Asia Restaurant. $45. (772 Pacific Ave.) www.koshercomedy.com. 6 pm to 8 pm. Gary Gulman, Adrianne Tosch, Samson Koletkar and Lisa Geduldig host a night of Christmas comedy.

Radical Vinyl – El Rio. Free. 8 pm. (3158 Mission St.) www.elriosf. com. A revolving cast of wellknown record collectors spin the most eclectic mix of vinyl you’ll find in San Francisco. Monday Night Bluegrass – Amnesia. Free. 6 pm. (853 Valencia St.) www.amnesiathebar.com. Enjoy a night of Bluegrass music every Monday night at this cozy Mission bar. Piano Bar 101 – Martuni’s. Free. 9 pm. (4 Valencia St.) www.dragatmartunis.com. Sing along to your favorite songs with friends and patrons.

New Years Eve 2014 – Yoshi’s SF. $30-$100. 9 pm. (1330 Fillmore St.) www.yoshis.com. Celebrate New Year’s Even in style with 2 levels of entertainment, balloon drop, and music from 6 of San Francisco’s top DJs. Bearracuda NYE – Beatbox. $20. 8 pm. (314 11th St.) www. beatboxsf.com. Bearracuda celebrates its 8th Annual New Year’s Eve with a huge blowout, featuring Paul Goodyear and Matt Stands. NYE Comedy Fiesta – Brava Theatre. $30. (2781 24th St.) www. brava.org. Join Marga Gomez, Dhaya Lakshminarayanan and Micia Mosley for a hilarious night of comedy as they ring in the New Year.

The San Francisco Ballet presents the “Nutcracker,” December 11-29.

Entertainer Casey Ley will appear at The Marines’ Memorial Theatre for “Not Your Normal New Year’s Eve.” See ad on page 20.

Commitment Day SF – Golden Gate Park. Free. 10 am. (Golden Gate Park) www.commitmentday.com. Join hundreds of runners as they commit to leading a healthy, active life in 2014. Morning Glory: New Year’s Day 2014 – Beatbox. $8. 4 am to 8 am. (314 11th St.) www.beatboxsf.com. Keep the party going during this New Year’s early morning dance party. Holiday Ice Rink – Union Square. $11. 10 am to 11:30 pm. (Union Square) www.unionsquareicerink.com. Kick of the 2013 holiday season at the Safeway Ice Rink at Union Square.”

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(DUNNING continued from page 3) and contributed to the economy and our country. On the eleventh day of Christmas: The Golden Gate National Recreation Area keeps Crissy Field, Fort Funston and other designated GGNRA spaces open to off-leash dogs. On the twelfth day of Christmas: Women are allowed the full freedom to make health choices with their physician, including control of their reproductive rights, without the interference of the government. Period. So I ask you, what do you wish for this city, this state, this country, our world? And what can you do to make a difference? Zoe Dunning is a retired Navy Commander and was a lead activist in the repeal of Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell. She currently serves as the 1st Vice Chair of the San Francisco Democratic Party. Happy holidays to everyone, and I look forward to seeing you in 2014!

(MANDELMAN continued from page 3) There are a ton of ballot measure ideas being f loated, including a waterfront planning initiative, Muni reform, and an increase to our local minimum wage. Another proposal being promoted by folks at the Chamber of Commerce is to replace direct election of City College Trustees with appointment by the mayor. Backers are serious enough about the idea to have paid for a rather lengthy telephone poll. I, of course, think this is a terribly bad idea: bad for democracy, bad for City College and, frankly, bad for the mayor. Let’s hope the Chamber finds other better ways to occupy themselves in the coming year. With that, dear readers, I wish you all a delightful end to 2013 and a spectacular beginning to 2014. Rafael Mandelman was elected to the San Francisco Community College Board of Trustees in 2012. He is a partner at Burke, Williams & Sorensen, LLP.

(DECK THE HALLS continued from page 10) Hal Hansen, David Dunbar and Michael Mullen; Oh Christmas Tree laden with ribbon and bows for Bill Ambrunn, Marcy Adelman, Zoe Dunning and Larry Saxxon; Tis the Season to be Jolly with generosity from Jim Hormel, Michael Nguyen, Al Baum, Robert Holgate, Tom Horn as well as Janet and Clint Reilly; Oh Come, All Ye Faithful to so many more who help the organizations that provide support to the 99%; All I Want for Christmas is the return of progressive values delivered by Art Agnos, John Avalos, Chris Daly, Rick Hauptman, The Nulty Brothers and both the Alice B. Toklas and Harvey Milk Democratic Clubs; (ROSTOW continued from page 11) dismissed a marriage case from the Minnesota Supreme Court “for want of a federal issue.” In other words, the Court refused to review state marriage laws based on the idea that marriage was a state issue. The justices heard no arguments and read no briefs. The Minnesota court had of course refused to allow a same-sex marriage so, to evoke Stein, there was no there there. Our opponents would have you believe that this means the Supreme Court has already ruled on the issue of same-sex marriage in a binding precedent that should stand for all time. Never mind that the idea of same-sex (BEST FILMS continued from page 17) gages his professor by chronicling the events of his gay friend’s household. Pornographic Content MEDIOCRE: Lovelace made by gay f ilmmakers Jeffrey Friedman and Rob Epstein, about the meteoric rise to fame of porn star Linda Lovelace and the abuse she suffered at the hands her husband. It had some good elements, but never quite grabbed viewers by the throat. BEST: The Canyons by straight filmmaker Paul Schrader, working from a script by the gay Bret Easton Ellis, told a stylish, sordid love triangle featuring bad behavior and bared bodies—Lindsay Lohan and James Deen among them. Most Promising Newcomers MALE: Wentworth Miller not only came out publically this year, he also penned a wicked script for the stylish and sinister thriller Stoker. FEMALE: Stacie Passion offered a notable directorial debut with the absorbing lesbian drama Concussion. The (Rear) end There is always a question about the sexiest queer f ilm or who has the best nude scene. While Matthew McConaughey’s character in Dallas Buyers Club instructs the medical establishment to kiss his naked ass, it was not seductive. And it would be tough to choose between the actors in the three Beat films: Studly Garrett Hedlund answering a door in the altogether in On the Road ; adorable Daniel Radcliffe displaying his cute caboose in Kill Your Darlings; and the uninhibited Jean-Marc Barr showing off his divine behind in Big Sur. All these guys have attractive asses. But it’s no contest, because the sexiest film this year was Blue Is the Warmest Color,” featuring Adèle Exarchopoulos and Lea Seydoux, who bared their derrieres along with their souls. © 2013 Gary M. Kramer Gary M. Kramer is the author of “Independent Queer Cinema: Reviews and Interviews,” and the co-editor of “Directory of World Cinema: Argentina.” You can follow him on Twitter @garymkramer. marriage was nothing short of ludicrous back in 1972, a time when homosexuality was a psychiatric disorder and sodomy laws ruled the land. Never mind that the nation has since been transformed, that real binding gay rights precedents have since been articulated, that marriage is now legal in over a dozen states, and that there is no question that the rights of marriage are a legitimate focus for scrutiny under the federal Constitution. Indeed, the very dispute over whether or not Baker v Nelson has judicial stature should be moot. But still, the citation pops to the surface of every antigay brief. In this case, a federal judge in one of the Pennsylvania marriage cases (there’s also a state case) ruled that the subject matter was properly in federal court, notwithstanding Baker. The state now wants to put the merits of the marriage suit on hold while it scurries up to the Third Circuit to resolve this faux question of law. Personally, I’d like to see Baker properly trashed by a federal appellate court. But it’s still absurd. Merry Christmas! arostow@aol.com May The Grinch Who Stole Christmas fail at destroying The Affordable Care Act; Santa Claus Is Coming to Town with Dennis Hererra, Christopher Vasquez, Rebecca Prozan and the Great and Good Mark Leno; I’m Dreaming of a White Christmas with love for my almost perfect husband Dave Earl, my family, the one and only Donna Sachet, Richard Sablatura, and Lenny Broberg, Songs of the Season, and Donna and Gary’s annual Pride Brunch; We Wish You a Merry Christmas President Obama, Nancy Pelosi, Barbara Boxer, Barbara Lee, Dianne Feinstein and Mayor Ed Lee as we pray for peace, prosperity and affordable housing for all with some good old fashioned love for good measure. These are a few of my favorite things and I wish each of you a truly happy holiday season. Stu Smith is board chair emeritus of Shanti Project, board chair of The Paratransit Coordinating Council, a member of the Castro Country Club Advisory Board and the LGBT Senior Task Force, and producer and host of the public access TV program “The Drag Show.” KQED has honored Stu as a 2013 LGBT Hero.

(LAGUARDIA continued from page 17) in a story like this. It truly is a show for all ages. BT: Where are you from, and what do you look forward to the most when visiting San Francisco? AL: I am originally from Eau Claire, Wisconsin, but have been living in New York City for f ive years now, and I have to say I am ecstatic about visiting San Francisco. I have never been farther west than Colorado, and 22 BAY TIMES DECE MB E R 1 9 , 2 0 1 3

I can’t wait to see the West Coast. I am most excited about exploring The Castro neighborhood and learning about the history of San Francisco. As a culture, it has so much history to be learned about the gay community. I am really excited to see what life is like in a city that I have heard so much about, but never really seen. We are very excited to travel to San Francisco and to perform this iconic Disney tale. A lot of us have been

waiting for our tour stop in Frisco and look forward to the overwhelming excitement from the audiences there. See you soon! “Disney’s Beauty and the Beast” will be at the Curran Theater in San Francisco from December 21-January 5. For tickets and additional information, please go to: www.beautyandthebeastontour.com/about-the-show.

Photos by Steven Underhill

Round About – Help Is on the Way for the Holidays XII

REAF’s (Richmond Ermet AIDS Foundation) annual Help Is On the Way for the Holidays, held this year at the Marine’s Memorial Theater, featured a roaring line-up of talent: Jai Rodriguez, Bruce Vilanch, Sharon McNight, Debby Boone, Davis Gaines, Jason Brock, Shawn Ryan, Kim Nalley, Carly Ozard, Tim Hockenberry and cast members from the Book of Morman and Avenue Q. Following the gala, the Cast Party, benefiting Positive Resource Center, was held at Hotel Adagio. Congratulations to Ken Henderson, Joe Seiler and the entire team for a wonderful evening.

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