2014 02 20

February 20-March 5, 2014 | www.sfbaytimes.com

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Memorial for Stuart Morrison Smith Sunday, March 23, 2014, 2:00 p.m. - 4:00 p.m.

Julia Morgan Ballroom Merchant’s Exchange Building 465 California Street, San Francisco

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National News Briefs compiled by Dennis McMillan

Topeka, KS - Hundreds Protest “Religious Freedoms” Bill at Kansas Statehouse - 2.16 “Shock,” “fear” and “embarrassment” were among the words protesters used to describe their reaction to legislation that would allow Kansans to cite religious beliefs to deny services to same-sex couples. Over 250 people attended a rally outside the Statehouse in Topeka to show their opposition to House Bill 2453, which was approved last week by the House but halted in the Senate.

“This is a time when we need to take a stand,” said the Rev. Peter Luckey, senior pastor of the Plymouth Congregational Church in Lawrence. Luckey said he couldn’t believe the House would approve such legislation. He said people who disagree about whether same-sex marriages should be recognized “understand that discrimination is wrong” and called the bill hurtful and mean-spirited.

Supporters contend the bill, approved 72-49 by the House, is needed in case a federal court strikes down Kansas’ constitutional ban on same-sex marriage, as has happened in other states.

Last week, Senate leaders put the brakes on the bill, saying it went beyond protecting religious beliefs and would have allowed businesses to refuse to serve gays and lesbians. A number of leading businesses and business groups also voiced opposition.

Although Senate GOP leaders said they wouldn’t consider HB 2453, they said they would propose alternative legislation to protect religious beliefs.

During the protest, which was organized by the gay rights advocacy group, Equality House of Topeka, participants formed two lines behind signs labeled “Second Class Citizens” and “Straight People.” The lines went up the south steps of the Capitol.

Springfield, MO - Newly Out Footballer Michael Sam Prompts ADs, Coaches to Review Policy - 2.14 Ole Miss coach Hugh Freeze has coached gay players before during his 20-year career. Though Freeze declined to name the players he coached, he said there is no exact protocol for how to handle a situation like the one that arose with Michael Sam. But since the Missouri All-American defensive end publicly said he was an “openly, proud gay man,” college athletic directors and coaches have been forced to review protocols on their campuses.

“It does cause you to go back and evaluate,” said Atlanta’s Troy University athletic director John Hartwell.

“One of the first things I did was go back to our senior staff and say, ‘OK, let’s look at our policy. Let’s make sure we don’t have any issues here.’”

Like many of 10 athletic directors who responded to inquiries, Hartwell said Troy believes in nurturing diversity and fostering respect for every individual. “Because at the end of the day, you’re going to have teammates that are of a different race than you are, of a different nationality, of a different economic background, possibly of a different sexual orientation - with a whole variety of beliefs.”

Still, football locker rooms lend themselves to being ripe with machismo and bravado - places where jabs involving one’s sexual orientation are fairly commonplace, even if meant in a harmless manner. But the jabs could lead to potential conflicts, as evidenced by the Richie Incognito scandal in Miami.

Among the questions facing administrators in the wake of Sam’s announcement is not only how to teach tolerance and acceptance of gay athletes within the athletic department, but also how to enforce it.

Jeremy Morgan, a Topeka resident, said when he first heard about the bill, it frightened him that he and his spouse, who were legally married in Iowa, could be denied services. “We don’t want to be humiliated. We want to be treated like everybody else,” Morgan said.

“In all cases, there is never a time that making someone feel bad is the way to go about it, regardless of what your view is,” Freeze emphasized. “People deserve respect, and we preach that daily. Hopefully that is the way we attack every situation.”

Why, they’re just trying to protect those god-fearing, conservative, morally upright business owners from those vile sodomites that Jesus spoke against...somewhere besides the Bible, apparently.

Which is certainly not the way those anonymous a-wipes have gutlessly responded negatively.

Source: edgeonthenet.com

Source: ljworld.com

Richmond, VA - Federal Judge Declares Virginia’s Marriage Ban Unconstitutional - 2.14

Las Vegas, NV - Chelsea Clinton Calls LGBTQ Rights “Unfinished Business” of This Century - 2.16 Adapting a line from her mother, Chelsea Clinton said that shedding light on LGBTQ issues should be a major focus for human rights advocates this century. “My mother has often said that the issue of women is the unfinished business of the 21st century,” she said of Hillary Clinton, the former New York senator and secretary of state. “That is certainly true. But so too are the issues of LGBTQ rights the unfinished business of the 21st century.”

Former first daughter Chelsea Clinton was the keynote speaker for a Human Rights Campaign conference in Las Vegas. Despite her famed political lineage, Clinton, 33, has said she has no plans to run for public office; unlike her mother, who is seriously considering running for president in 2016.

Clinton said, in response to a question about her mother’s political aspirations, “I will support my mother in whatever she chooses to do. And my crystal ball is no more clear than yours.”

In her address, Clinton pushed for more progress in combating bullying of gay youths.

She pointed to celebrities such as Jason Collins, the NBA veteran who announced that he was gay in a Sports Illustrated story in April, and actress Ellen Page, who came out as gay at the same Las Vegas conference, as role models changing the LGBTQ narrative.

“Changing laws and changing the political dialogue, while necessary, is insufficient to ensure that bullying stops; to ensure that every young person is supported by their parents and their teachers as they question who they are and they discover who they are regardless of the sexuality,” Clinton said.

Clinton appeared with her mother last week in New York to launch a new partnership between the Clinton Foundation and the Bill and Melinda Gates Foundation to analyze women’s advancement internationally. She will also speak on women’s issues at an event at the University of Missouri-Kansas City later this month.

My crystal ball says Hillary WILL be President!

Source: politicalticker.blogs.cnn.com

Houston, TX - Court Revives Transgender Widow’s Legal Fight - 2.13 A Texas appeals court overturned a judge’s ruling that had voided the marriage of a transgender widow whose firefighter husband died battling a blaze.

The 13th Texas Court of Appeals sent the case of Nikki Araguz back to the lower court, saying “there is a genuine issue of material fact regarding (Araguz’s) sex and whether the marriage was a same-sex marriage.” In 2011, state District Judge Randy Clapp in Wharton County had ruled that the marriage between Nikki Araguz and her husband Thomas Araguz was “void as a matter of law.”

Thomas Araguz’s mother and his first wife had challenged the marriage’s validity, arguing the fallen firefighter’s estate should go to his two sons because Nikki Araguz was born a man and Texas does not recognize same-sex marriage. Nikki Araguz, 38, had argued in court she had done everything medically and legally possible to show she is female and was legally married under Texas law, and that she’s entitled to widow’s benefits.

“This decision recognizes that transgender Texans have the right to marry the person that they love,” said Kent Rutter, Nikki Araguz’s attorney.

Nikki Araguz, who remarried in 2013, has insisted Thomas Araguz fully supported her through the surgical process to become a woman. She underwent surgery two months after they were married in 2008. Thomas Araguz died in July 2010 while fighting a fire 60 miles southwest of Houston. He was 30.

In its 26-page ruling, the three-judge panel of the Corpus Christi-based appeals court wrote that Clapp erred by essentially saying in his ruling that Nikki Araguz was a man at the time of her husband’s death. The three-judge panel also wrote that changes made in 2009 to the Texas Family Code that allowed transgendered people to use proof of their sex change to get a marriage license legislatively overruled a previous court decision that had been used as legal precedent in such cases.

A federal judge in Virginia has struck down the state’s prohibition on same-sex marriage, joining a growing list of state and federal courts that have granted gay and lesbian couples the right to marry following two landmark Supreme Court rulings in June.

U.S. District Court Judge Arenda Wright Allen’s ruling had been expected since the case was heard in her Norfolk courtroom last week. Also as expected, she blocked it from taking immediate effect until appeals are heard. As a result, same-sex marriages in Virginia cannot begin yet.

“Gay and lesbian individuals share the same capacity as heterosexual individuals to form, preserve and celebrate loving, intimate and lasting relationships,” Wright Allen said. “Such relationships are created through the exercise of sacred, personal choices- like the choices made by every other citizen, that must be free from unwarranted government interference.”

Her decision follows similar rulings in Oklahoma and Utah, even more conservative states, where federal judges recently struck down gay marriage bans. Those cases are scheduled to be heard a week apart by a federal appeals court panel in April; the Virginia case now joins them in a race toward the Supreme Court.

And in recent days, Nevada state officials decided they could no longer defend the state’s same-sex marriage ban, and a judge in Kentucky ruled that the state must recognize gay marriages from other states.

Seventeen states and the District of Columbia allow same-sex marriage.

Since the high court last June restored gay marriage rights in California and struck down a portion of the federal Defense of Marriage Act, Hawaii and Illinois joined the passed new laws, and state courts in New Jersey and New Mexico legalized the practice. Nearly four dozen lawsuits remain pending in 24 states.

A firefighter’s widow deserves every legal compensation possible. Period.

Yes, the bipartisan momentum for marriage is building at an extraordinary speed. Thankfully, a fundamental shift in the legal landscape is happening.

Source: sunherald.com

Source: usatoday.com

Local News Briefs Supervisor Farrell to Double Homeless Outreach Team and Add 100 Beds Supervisor Mark Farrell introduced a targeted supplemental appropriation to the Board of Supervisors to double the capacity of the Department of Public Health’s Homeless Outreach Team and give the Department of Public Health the opportunity to add 100 additional stabilization beds for individuals living on San Francisco’s streets.

Statistics show that 30% of homeless are LGBTQ. “We need new solutions and targeted investments in programs and services for individuals living on the streets of San Francisco,” stated Supervisor Farrell. “I firmly believe that a greater investment in our Homeless Outreach Team will drive a positive impact for our homeless population and start pulling people off our streets.”

Seven Proposals Submitted from Tenants Convention to Board of Supervisors As made by Supervisor Harvey Milk in 1977, an anti-speculation tax would impose a tax on windfall profits garnered by speculators who buy up housing and then sell it off without maintaining ownership for at least six years. It would be structured in such a way that the quicker the “flip,” the higher the tax. This would require voter approval.

Eviction moratorium would put a yearlong freeze on certain kinds of “no-fault evictions,” instances where a tenant is ousted regardless of compliance with lease terms. State law would prohibit it from applying to Ellis Act evictions. It might potentially require voter approval.

The Homeless Outreach Team is the Department of Public Health’s main outreach and case management program, consisting of City civil service employees and nonprofit contractors, performing outreach to bring homeless persons with health, mental health and substance abuse issues into DPH’s emergency stabilization rooms and other temporary settings, and case management to link them with appropriate treatment and housing opportunities.

A Department of Rent Control Enforcement and Compliance, which could be created by local legislation, would form a new city department with the mission and mandate to enforce existing tenant-protection laws and conduct research on eviction trends.

An expanded Homeless Outreach Team will be better poised to address the most difficult chronically homeless individuals who are in need of complex care management and will be able to better respond to neighborhood needs for short-term localized interventions.

While Supervisor David Campos is working on legislation to upgrade relocation assistance payments to displaced tenants who face eviction under the Ellis Act, relocation assistance would do the same for all other forms of “no-fault” evictions. This would require voter approval.

“If we are serious about addressing our City’s homeless issue, this targeted investment is a strong first step to get people off our streets and into treatment services and shelter,” said Supervisor Farrell. “Over the past five months, I have met with stakeholders, City department heads, medical professionals, and outside experts and will continue to work with everyone who is dedicated to reducing homelessness in San Francisco through tangible, data-driven solutions that will continue to move the needle forward.”

While the Costa-Hawkins state law does not allow for cities to control rents in vacant units, “excessive rents” tax would create a tax on new rental agreements where rents exceed an affordability threshold.

The Homeless Outreach Team focuses their efforts to areas of the City which have the highest need and the largest concentration of individuals living on the streets. Many of the team members have clinical and casemanagement experience. Some are formerly homeless, and have shown a great propensity to compel individuals living on the streets to accept treatment services and housing opportunities that are proven to better their lives.

The supplemental appropriation is expected to be assigned to the Board’s Budget and Finance Committee soon, where it will be discussed before heading the full Board in March.

Story by Dennis McMillan 2

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A housing balance requirement would make it so that approval of new market-rate housing would be restricted based on whether affordable housing goals were being met. It would create new incentives to build affordable housing.

Legalizing illegal units would provide a way to legalize the city’s “illegal” housing units that nevertheless provide a safe and decent source of affordable housing. Board President David Chiu has already introduced a version of this proposal.

Story by Dennis McMillan

P H OTO SO URC E : G L AAD. O R G

The Final Frontier?

Do Ask, Do Tell Zoe Dunning In the campaign to repeal Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell, we often portrayed the military as the toughest culture in which to come out – close bonds with your colleagues, intimate living conditions, a super-masculine ethos. We marketed the repeal as the litmus test, kind of like New York, New York: “if you can make it here, you can make it anywhere.”

For the most part, that was, and still is, true. Even with the repeal of Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell behind us, the military remains one of the most virile, macho environments. There is a lot personally at risk should you come out and not be accepted by your fellow unit members and society, such as your reputation, your education, your current and future employment, and even your physical safety.

With the recent public coming out of Michael Sam, the All-American defensive end from the University of Missouri, we are reminded that the final frontier is not the foxhole, but the locker room. If and when Sam is signed by a National Football League (NFL) team in this year’s draft, he will become the first active NFL player to have declared he is gay publicly.

Not surprisingly, one of the first storylines we heard from the naysayers was that his draft status would drop because NFL teams would find him to be “a distraction.” Even two weeks before his public coming out, as Sam was preparing for the Senior Bowl,

Michael Sam rumors circulated that there were red f lags. “Sam may have some off-thefield problems,” was the way it was put.

The day before his announcement, Michael Sam was rated as the 90thbest prospect in the upcoming draft.

The morning after, he had slipped to No. 160. Some of the reactions were nearly identical to those we heard on Capitol Hill and the Pentagon. Their quotes were pulled right out of the military playbook.

One N F L veteran, for example, tweeted that Sam should “stay in the closet.” Another player said during an NFL Network interview that he had concerns about showering and dressing with a gay teammate nearby.

Sports Illustrated interviewed 8 anonymous coaches and player personnel to get their honest perspective on Michael Sam’s NFL draft prospects. “I don’t think football is ready for [an openly gay player] just yet,” one responded. “In the coming decade or two, it’s going to be acceptable, but at this point in time it’s still a man’s-man game. To call somebody a [gay slur] is still so commonplace. It’d chemically imbalance an NFL locker room and meeting room.”

An NFL assistant coach called Sam’s decision “not a smart move,” as he said it “legitimately affects [his] po-

tential earnings.” And another response was, “There’s nothing more sensitive than the heartbeat of the locker room. If you knowingly bring someone in there with that sexual orientation, how are the other guys going to deal with it? It’s going to be a big distraction.”

Sound familiar? In 2010, Senator John McCain stated in his opposition to the repeal of Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell: “When your life’s on the line, you don’t want any distraction.”

Clearly, we in the LGBT community are very, very distracting. Therefore, we should just continue hiding who we are and pretend we don’t exist to make everyone else just a little more comfortable while they spit and scratch.

The news headlines seem to grab the more salacious stories, such as the homophobic slurs and insults from professional athletes. But in addition to the Michael Sam story, there is another positive development that you should know about. Locally, two women’s college basketball players are trying to make a difference. Toni Kokenis of Stanford helped found Stanford Athletes and Allies Together (StAAT), a student group dedicated to supporting LGBT and allied athletes in the spring of 2012. (continued on page 22)

Remembering Stu Smith, Tenants Rising, City College Update and More Times, friend to drag queens, sponsor, mentor, mensch.

A San Francisco Kind of Democrat Rafael Mandelman I’ll admit it. I have trouble letting go.

But saying good-bye to Stu Smith, who died on February 3, has been especially tough. Stu’s death was awfully fast, coming less than a month after his cancer diagnosis. But it was also just awful, awful that such a sweet man – one who had given so much to so many of our communities and who clearly had so much more to give, one who had in the autumn of his life found and just begun to explore a great romance with his partner Dave Earl – should be taken with so much life still in him ready to be lived.

The depth and breadth of Stu’s civic engagement was extraordinary, and his accomplishments and activities too many to number: active volunteer and board member at the Shanti Project, member of San Francisco’s LGBT Aging Policy Task Force, champion of the Castro Country Club, proud troublemaker on the Civil Grand Jury, television show host, columnist for the Bay

I got to know Stu during my Supervisor campaign; mutual friends had suggested that he would be good supporter to have. So I set about wooing him, and were they ever right! Stu could be tough on politicians, withering in his condemnation of those whom he felt had let him or San Francisco down. Happily, I managed to stay on his good side. And Stu’s good side was a wonderful place to be. I will miss him very, very much.

Had he lived to see it, I imagine Stu – who as a member of the LGBT Aging Task Force had focused on the problem of displacement of queer seniors - would have been delighted by the massive turnout for the February 8th citywide tenant convention. More than 500 politicians, labor leaders, activists and regular worried San Franciscans showed up to pack the Tenderloin Elementary School and consider various proposals to address skyrocketing rents and rising evictions. One of the most popular ideas was a measure Harvey Milk had championed more than three decades ago: an anti-speculation tax that would penalize property flipping. The quicker the f lip, the higher the tax. Look for activists to build on the momentum from the convention to move for legislation this year at City Hall and at the ballot box.

Meanwhile, in City College news, our queer elected officials have been lending their heft to the fight to save City College. Senator Mark Leno has introduced a critically important bill to stabilize funding for the College, where

enrollment has plummeted over the last two years and which, as a consequence, could lose upwards of twenty million dollars in the next fiscal year. Assemblyman Tom Ammiano has introduced legislation to prevent the State Chancellor’s Office from suspending locally elected boards of trustees. Now I would be the first to admit that City College’s Board had its problems, but the reality is that without a democratically elected Board, important decisions about City College’s future are being made by unelected and unaccountable bureaucrats with no particular connection to the College or even to San Francisco. That’s just wrong.

And now an apology: Last month, I sang the praises of returning Milk Club president Tom Temprano, forgetting that this year he is being joined by copresident Laura Thomas. This really was an unforgiveable oversight. Laura is an amazing activist, policy advocate and friend. Deputy State Director for the Drug Policy Alliance, she is wicked smart and reflects the combination of policy savvy and conviction that is the Milk Club at its best. Congratulations, Co-President Thomas!

Lastly, the LGBT Community Center, of which I am Board co-chair, will be having its Annual Soiree at City View at the Metreon on April 5. It’s a fun way to support a great cause. Get your tickets today at www.lgbtcenter.org.

See you at the Soiree!

Rafael Mandelman was elected to the San Francisco Community College Board of Trustees in 2012. He is a partner at Burke, Williams & Sorensen, LLP. BAY T IM ES F EBRUARY 20, 2014

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Round About – Protests & Celebrations – Photos by Rink Rain did not deter protesters and their supporters from voicing angst toward Russia’s anti-gay policies. Bay Times photographer Rink captured images in San Francisco at the Civic Center and the Russian Consulate. Activists also gathered at Hi Tops Bar in the Castro where Team SF held a Pride House Party protesting the banning in Russia of LGBT Pride Parties during the Olympic Games in Sochi.

Members of the Tsunami Water Polo Team were among those attending.

“Winter of Love” is the name given to the marriages that took place in 2004 at SF City Hall after then Mayor Gavin Newsom declared same-sex marriage legal. Brides, grooms, supporters and friends gathered last week to celebrate the resulting wave of change that began a decade ago and continues today as Marriage Equality spreads across the US. (Photos by Rink)

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Money and Finance Smart Moves for Retirement Relocation purchased today will retain its value when you want to sell. Additionally, many warm weather states were hit hard by the real estate crash and remain vulnerable.

Money Matters Brandon Miller, CFP & Joanne Jordan, CFP Retirement opens the door for many retirees to consider a change in residence. Here are answers to questions about the financial implications of relocation at this stage in life.

Q: When I retire, I’d like to spend the winter in a warmer climate. Should I purchase a second home in my favorite destination?

A: The decision to buy a second home in another state may depend on how well your budget can endure the costs. Can you afford to take part of your nest egg to buy another home or allocate monthly income to new mortgage payments? Will you be left with sufficient funds to manage unpredictable retirement expenses, such as future medical care? And are you prepared to hire a property management company to maintain your property when you’re away?

You also need to think about travel, upkeep, homeowner’s insurance and taxes as you tally up projected expenses of owning a second home.

It’s also important to recognize that real estate may not be the best investment for your situation. As the recent recession clearly demonstrated, there’s no guarantee that a property

As an alternative to buying a second home, consider renting a vacation property in the desired area. This option poses less financial risk, and ultimately offers more flexibility, including the freedom to visit other locations to get your warm weather fix.

Q: My spouse and I are debating whether to stay in our current home or move to a smaller residence once we retire. What are the pros and cons of downsizing?

A: Trading in the family home for something smaller can be a good financial decision for some people.

Generally speaking, a smaller home is easier to maintain. That means less work and expense for the occupants. Assuming your new home is less expensive, you can put the difference toward retirement savings or remodeling projects in your new home.

Downsizing also provides the option to choose a home with fewer levels or other features that may be more suitable as you age. And, with less room to fill, you won’t be as tempted to make unnecessary purchases.

Moving also gives families the opportunity to look at all of their possessions, pass on some heirlooms to loved ones and “let go” of nonessentials. Clearing away the clutter is not only personally freeing, it can reduce the burden on those who will ultimately be responsible for dividing your estate at some point.

Q: I’ve heard of retirees moving abroad to stretch their retirement dollars. Is this a good idea?

A: It’s true that some Americans are moving abroad in retirement. If

you’re eager to experience a different country and culture firsthand, and have the resources to make such a move, foreign relocation might be a dream come true. Popular relocation spots in Europe, Central America and South America can provide a warmer climate, more relaxed lifestyle and may be more affordable.

On the other hand, living in a foreign land can have drawbacks. Medicare dollars will not follow you overseas.

If you’re wary of healthcare services in your new country of residence or can’t afford to purchase care abroad, you’ll have to travel to the U.S. to use these benefits. Trips home will be subject to fluctuating airfares and may become more difficult to manage as you age. In addition, social security dollars generally can’t go to foreign banks, and Americans retired abroad will likely still need to file a U.S. tax return. Furthermore, foreign currencies can be unpredictable. Should conversion rates change abruptly, the buying power of your American dollars may fall quickly.

If you’re serious about foreign relocation, consider a trial run to see how it goes. After the experience, you’ll be more likely to make the right decision for you and your family.

Regardless of where you end up living in retirement, it’s important to consider the implications that relocating may have on your financial goals in retirement. Consider meeting with a financial advisor to discuss this topic.

Brandon Miller, CFP and Joanne Jordan, CFP are financial consultants at Jordan Miller & Associates, A Private Wealth Advisory Practice of Ameriprise Financial Inc. in San Francisco, specializing in helping LGBT individuals and families plan and achieve their financial goals.

Love and Justice — Celebration at Grace Cathedral Photos by Katie Wilcox

To mark the 10th anniversary of the 2004 declaration by then Mayor Gavin Newsom and subsequent same-sex marriage ceremonies, a special program, “Love and Justice: A Celebration of Marriage Equality in California” was presented at Grace Cathedral on Thursday, February 13. Included were an Evensong service comprised of hymns, choral chants, anthems, readings and prayers, followed by a reception in Gresham Hall on the Cathedral grounds.

BAY T IM ES F EBRUARY 20, 2014

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Assertiveness and Basic Rights up for myself. How can I stop being such a doormat?

Kim Corsaro Publisher 1981-2011

A: Changing established patterns of compliance and passivity requires learning to be more assertive, and the good news is that assertiveness is a skill that can be taught and learned.

2261 Market Street, No. 309 San Francisco CA 94114 Phone: 415-503-1375 525 Bellevue Avenue Oakland CA 94610 Phone: 510-504-9255 E-mail: editor@sfbaytimes.com www.sfbaytimes.com The Bay Times was the first newspaper in California, and among the first in the world, to be jointly and equally produced by lesbians and gay men. We honor our history and the paper’s ability to build and strengthen unity in our community.

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Examined Life Tom Moon, MFT Q: It got back to me in my office a while ago that my co-workers have a nickname for me – “Doormat Dan.” That hurt and embarrassed me, but I know what they mean. I take on too many projects because I can’t say no, I get bullied, not just by supervisors, but also even by people who report to me. I haven’t taken a vacation in over two years because whenever I’m told, “It’s not the right time,” I just cave.

It’s the same thing with my boyfriend.

I don’t think he intends to dominate me so much, but we always wind up doing whatever he wants, and whenever we disagree about any opinion, I always just shut up and listen to what he says without arguing or standing

One of the f irst things people are asked to do in many assertiveness training classes is to do some serious thinking about what they believe their rights are. In one study, participants in a series of assertiveness training workshops were asked to compile lists of what they regarded as their “basic human rights,” and the eleven rights they mentioned most frequently were:

6. The right to change your mind.

7. The right to ask for what you want.

8. The right to do less than you are humanly capable of doing.

9. The right to ask for information.

10. The right to make mistakes.

11. The right to feel good about yourself.

4. The right to experience and express your feelings.

What do you think of this list? Are there any items that you think aren’t rights? Do you believe that any important rights were left out? When I examined the list, for instance, I found it striking that there is no mention of a right to freedom from violence or the threat of violence. What about a right to freedom from verbal abuse? Do you believe that you have a right to expect that the people in your life not treat you contemptuously? I suggest you take some time to write your own list of the rights you believe are inviolable. Remember that, for every right you claim for yourself, you are also required to respect it in others. A right you claim for yourself, but won’t honor in others, isn’t a right but a privilege.

5. The right to take time to slow down and think.

When you’re finished, think of the situations in which you’ve felt walked

1. The right to act in ways that promote your dignity and self respect as long as others’ rights aren’t violated in the process.

2. The right to be treated with respect.

3. The right to say no and not feel guilty.

on by others. Which right or rights do you believe were violated in these situations? You’ll probably find one or two rights which you habitually don’t defend, and you’ll probably feel greater clarity about why and when you need to stand up for yourself.

Once you have this clarity, the next step is to learn and begin practicing techniques for effectively standing up for your rights. If you do a web search for “assertiveness training” classes or workshops, you’ll probably find some valuable courses available in your area. There are also many books that teach the basic assertiveness skills.

Your Perfect Right: A Guide to Assertive Living by Alberti and Emmons is one of the first, and still one of the best, self-help books on this subject. In this book, you’ll learn how to differentiate assertiveness from aggressiveness, how to get over anxiety in dealing with others, and how to improve decision-making skills and reduce stress. This book contains specif ic guidelines for determining how eye contact, body posture, gestures, facial expression, voice tone, inflection, and thinking can all be used to enhance your assertiveness. Good luck!

Tom Moon is a psychotherapist in San Francisco. His website is tommoon.net.

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The West Coast unveiling of a new US Postal stamp honoring Shirley Chisholm took place in a ceremony at Mills College featuring Congresswomen Nancy Pelosi and Barbara Lee with Mills College president Alecia A. DeCoudreaux and Oakland Postmaster Daryl Trujillo.

Practice Love!

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ships, meaning that we need to continue to challenge racism, classism, sexism, ageism, and misogyny wherever it exists. And if it exists in your heart or mine, we must be willing to do the work we need to do to grow beyond those limitations.

America. Therefore, Black History Month is a time to be heralded by all!

I love Black History Month. Okay, so February is the shortest month of the year. Rather than feeling shortchanged, I’ll simply keep this message brief and sweet. Now is the time to celebrate our roots. After all, archeological research places the birthplace of human life on the continent of Africa. So why not acknowledge our shared genetic root! The root of the LGBTQ movement is also found in the Black civil rights struggle in

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In every major U.S. city, county, village and town, there are opportunities to explore Black art, theater, comedy, music, dance, and film, as well as rediscovering history-makers, scientists, politicians, feminists, and other movers and shakers of AfricanAmerican descent. Perhaps we can use February as the time to make sure that we make the effort to embrace some aspect of Black culture. In that way, we can practice love, appreciate our shared heritage, and develop more compassion for our own struggles and those of others around us.

If love really means never having to say you’re sorry, then love also means that we can take unabashed action to embrace others in the ways that we would like to be embraced. One of the frailties of fighting battles along monolithic lines is that we risk becoming limited in scope. In order to expand our purview and develop a broader perspective on the realm of human rights, it becomes important

to take on our own lifelong learning, to draw parallels between our struggles as human beings, and to increase our capacity for love and understanding.

There exists between us a great divide. On one hand, we want people to fight for our right to marry and to honor the love we share in same-sex unions. On the other hand, we may choose to disregard the rights of others who are not like us and many of these people are of African descent.

People of conscience (my take on P.O.C.) know that gay marriage is just one of the myriad of issues that face our beleaguered LGBTQ communities. While we must continue to fight in this arena, it is equally important to practice love in all of our relation-

Dr. Martin Luther King’s many messages were tomes of love. I believe that he was a loving man, a visionary and a prophet who was able to see that our very survival as human beings depends upon embracing one another and expanding our capacity for love.

I am choosing to honor February for the month of love that it is. I plan to profess love as often as I can, eat chocolates, continue to distribute Valentine hearts, watch “Desert Hearts” and “High Art” again, and find out more about my Black American heritage, which I hope to share with all of my friends.

February is the time to practice love!

Join me.

Karen Williams is a lover. Send her love at karen@sfbaytimes.com.

Fortnight in Review

By Ann Rostow When It Rains, It Pours Back in the day, before beluga caviar soared to a couple hundred dollars an ounce, I used to indulge. My father always bought me caviar for breakfast on my birthday, and I felt it was a worthy tradition. I love the stuff.

Fine golden caviar is beyond my resources at current prices, but I have fond memories of the tiny glass jar, the buttered white toast, diced onions, sometimes a minced egg. I would vary the combinations, some bites with everything, some with just caviar on toast, some big slathered pieces, some soldiers with just a touch. And then finally, I would run the toast around the oily jar, absorbing the last sensations before licking the container clean. I always wanted more.

So, what’s the point? The point is that I feel as if the gods of civil rights law have delivered a salad bowl of the best caviar in the world, and put it down in front of me with a soupspoon. Hell, they’ve tossed in a couple bottles of vintage Krug (maybe 1985) and a Cuban cigar. Lawsuits that used to stop the presses are routine. Opinions out of federal courts that once were unthinkable are dropping into our laps every fortnight. And it now seems clear, less than nine months after the High Court turned its back on the Prop 8 case, that the core issue of marriage rights will return to the justices next term.

Not five years from now. Not three years from now. And probably not two years from now. But likely in the next term with a decision in June 2015.

Since our last communication, dear reader, the state of Indiana has effectively shelved its antigay marriage amendment for the next two years, a deliberate move that, for all practical purposes, will kill the effort.

Since our last column, a federal judge in Kentucky has ordered the Mint Julep State to recognize marriages from elsewhere, and a federal judge in Virginia has struck the antigay marriage amendment in the Lovers State. We have filed a marriage suit in Colorado state court, and two more federal cases in Alabama and Missouri, along with a more expansive case in Kentucky.

The governor and the attorney general of Nevada have stopped defending their marriage ban at the Ninth Circuit, acknowledging that Nevada’s antigay amendment cannot withstand the heightened scrutiny that is now imposed on sexual orientation bias cases throughout the American West.

(That new standard was ordered last month in the Ninth Circuit’s gay juror case. I told you all about it at the time, for God’s sake!)

The bottom line is that we should see two or more federal appellate rulings on marriage rights this year and the High Court will be obliged to review these decisions. Keep in mind as well that the justices will likely suspend any and all marriage victories until they have a chance to weigh in themselves.

No Wiggle Room For High Court You may recall that the Supreme Court only accepts a tiny fraction of the cases that present themselves for review. Court watchers have also observed the justices’ attempts to proceed slowly on marriage equality and gay rights in general, advancing our cause a step at a time, always careful to avoid issuing the type of major precedent that would foreclose national debate.

To everyone’s surprise, however, last summer’s vaguely written opinion in Windsor seems to have broken the dam despite Justice Kennedy’s best efforts. Instead of proceeding apace, we are rushing into a chaos of competing state standards, legal conundrums and political momentum.

In Missouri and Colorado, for example, state governors have decided that married gay couples may file joint state tax returns. It may not sound like a big deal, and it’s certainly a practical policy in view of our new obligation to file joint federal taxes. But here’s the thing. As opponents rightly point out, it’s against state law to recognize a gay marriage for any purpose. If you make an exception for taxes, why not for state pensions? Why not for divorce?

Oregon does not allow marriage, but it recognizes marriage from out of state. The couples who married in Utah during a short window of opportunity, are now married under federal law, but not recognized by Utah, even though they married at home.

After that federal court in Ohio said the state must list same-sex spouses on death certificates, how can any other feature of wedlock be ignored? It’s crazy. There’s a conflict or a lawsuit in every state in America, and the Supreme Court will have no choice but to sort it out.

What’s the main driver for this inundation? Aside from the repercussions of the Windsor case, it’s a simple matter of math. It wasn’t long ago that only one state allowed same-sex marriage, November of 2008 to be exact.

Then we had some progress in New England, as well as the marriage ruling in Iowa. But still, legal questions of marriage recognition across state lines remained theoretical, only because there were not that many traveling gay couples out there to run into problems.

That means that the Ninth Circuit will now put the tedious case against Nevada on a fast track. That lawsuit has been dragged down by procedural delays for well over a year, but now we might see some quick action. And thanks to the aforementioned level of scrutiny, we cannot lose a marriage equality case at the Ninth Circuit. (In fact, we can’t lose any gay bias case in the states that make up the Ninth Circuit’s jurisdiction.)

In the last two years, however, we’ve added a zillion more marriage states, a journalism term for “I don’t feel like looking up the number.” Not only do we have a patchwork of state marriage laws, but we also have a split between federal policy and most state policies, with numerous exceptions creating hairline cracks in the shaky edifice. And now we have thousands of married couples running around the country and moving from state to state. It’s unsustainable, which is why the High Court can no longer afford to take a cautious approach.

This is all in the last week or so!

Sam’s Club

I’ve already mentioned that the Tenth Circuit will speed through the Utah and Oklahoma appeals like lightening. Oral arguments are set for April, so we should have a ruling this summer. I also read that the Fourth Circuit will put the Virginia appeal on a fast track, but this news is so recent that I haven’t pinned down exactly what that means.

So, Ellen Page of “Juno” fame came out of the closet. Good for her! I didn’t really think that the proverbial closet still existed for anyone outside sports and politics, but there you go.

Advocates have also asked the Sixth Circuit to hurry the appeal of the Ohio case, where a federal judge ordered the Buckeye State to recognize same-sex spouses for certain purposes.

And speaking of sports, of course the other big news this week is the decision by ex-Missouri Tiger Michael Sam to come out as gay on the verge of his NFL career. Here in our household, we do not care for Missouri, or anyone connected to Missouri. I married into a Jayhawk family, which includes some members who will drive across the Kansas City border in order to

Professional Services avoid paying sales tax to Missouri. No joke. Without going into the history of the pre-Civil War conflict, let’s just say that we still call people from Missouri “slavers.”

So imagine my surprise when my wife looked up from her iPad and remarked “good for Missouri.” Honestly, it was as if she announced that “Ted Cruz has a point,” or suggested a long weekend in Lubbock. It turned out that, on the heels of Sam’s announcement, Fred Phelps dragged the remains of his Westboro Baptist Church family to Mizzou and took possession of street corner, where he and his gang held up their usual signs. In response, thousands of Missouri students took to the opposite side of the street in protest.

The lines went on forever.

Sam’s decision was courageous, but it was also pragmatic. He was openly gay, and any future employer would know his status. But nonetheless, he came out with style, and we are now on the verge of that Jackie Robinson moment in pro sports.

Yes, Jason Collins beat Sam to the punch. But after coming out last year, the journeyman hoopster has not been signed by any NBA team.

People speculate that teams are avoiding Collins, not simply because he’s gay, but because they don’t want the “distraction” of the publicity that would follow him around. But it’s one thing to pass on a thirty-something veteran who may be over the hill. It’s another to reject one of the top 100 rookie prospects. Michael Sam will be drafted, and we will finally see what happens when you let a gay man into the locker room.

Considering what we’ve learned about what passes for camaraderie in the NFL, I’d say being gay is the least of his worries. Some of those Miami Dolphins make a frat party look like dinner at Downton Abbey.

Are We In Kansas?

While we’re close to the subject of Kansas, we had another mind-bending development last week, when the conservative head of the Kansas senate killed an antigay bill because it went too far.

Kansas falls under the jurisdiction of the Tenth Circuit, ergo its fate will be decided this summer when we expect the appellate court will rule on the Utah and Oklahoma cases. As a result, panicked lawmakers in Topeka drafted an abomination that would basically allow any public establishment or individual contractor to refuse to do business with gay couples on religious grounds. Such a law would not pass constitutional muster, but red states pass laws like that all the time.

Indeed, the house ate this legislation up like hot bacon.

Kansas, once purple but getting redder all the time, was expected to rubber stamp this law if only to show constituents that no federal judge is going to kick the Sunf lower State around without a fight. This is not Bob Dole’s state anymore. It belongs to Sam Brownback and his ilk, conservatives who include senate president Susan Wagle. And yet, surprise! There are limits. To everyone’s astonishment, Wagle announced that her Republican colleagues would not support discrimination, regardless of how much they believe in traditional marriage.

The bill is dead.

There have always been limits. The reddest state would not jail gays or impound gay newspapers. But the limits seem to be getting closer, in a good way. First, the Indiana legislature declined to gay bash. Now, it’s Kansas. There are other bills like this one lurking around, including one in Congress. May they share the same fate.

Lose The Gum, Bro! I made a command decision this morning to skip over the horrible ho(continued on page 22)

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Editor’s Note: Welcome to our Weddings, Anniversaries & Occasions section. Inquire how your social announcement can appear free of charge, or how your wedding services ad can be included at a special rate: Publisher@sfbaytimes.com or 415-601-2113.

Regina and Irene Dick-Endrizzi with Lt. Gov. Gavin Newsom whose historic declaration of same-sex marriage as legal in San Francisco was celebrated this past week at SF City Hall.

ASPOONFULOFSUGARCAKES.COM

Troy Coalman and Alejandro Blanco tied the knot and celebrated at San Francisco’s Land’s End Park area near the historic Cliff House.

Big congrats to Bay Times graphic designer Abby Zimberg and her wife, elder law specialist Helene Wenzel, who celebrated their 25th Anniversary with a weekend in Carmel.

San Francisco Supervisor David Campos married his longtime partner Phil in a recent, private ceremony. The two have been together for nearly 18 years.

Interview with Rabbi Miriam Senturia will be deeply meaningful to both of them. I answer any questions they have about me or the process. I also sing for them, to give them a sense of how that would sound in their ceremony.

It is a delightful coincidence that in the last issue of the Bay Times, Howard Steiermann shared how he goes about creating a wedding. I had just interviewed my dear friend, Miriam Senturia, about her process! So here you go: another perspective on putting together your wedding with your chosen officiant.

Here’s my interview with Miriam: What do you like best about being a wedding officiant?

I delight in helping couples realize their vision of a joyful and memorable wedding ceremony that reflects and celebrates their love, values, and cultural and faith traditions. I enjoy sharing my experience creating personalized Jewish, interfaith, and same-sex wedding ceremonies, along with my warmth, inclusive spirituality, listening skills and joyful singing.

Are there things that are part ic u la rly g rat i f y i ng about marrying lesbian and gay couples?

Yes! I’ve been officiating same-sex weddings for eighteen years. I love working with same-sex couples to create a personalized wedding ceremony that celebrates their love and commitment. Now we’re able to actually sign a marriage license, which is truly wonderful. One les-

Rabbi Miriam Senturia 8

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Weddings Reverend Elizabeth River bian couple had been partnered for decades, but without that piece of paper and all the benefits that go along with it. They took me up on my suggestion that we sign the marriage license under the chuppah (marriage canopy), during the wedding ceremony. Their family and friends all cheered; it was a grand moment. And for newer couples, I’m so happy that now they can have a marriage license, just like any other committed couple.

What do you do in your first meeting with a couple, to help prepare yourself for creating their ceremony? What kinds of things do you and they talk about?

I see the first meeting with a wedding couple as a time to begin to get to know each other and discern if I would be a good fit for them as their wedding officiant. We share a little about our backgrounds, and they answer my favorite question: how they met. They also talk about what they know so far about what they want in their ceremony and their officiant. I describe my process of planning a wedding and my “bottom lines” for wedding ceremonies, which are honesty, integrity, honoring, and that we do the planning together to assure that the ceremony

In our second meeting, we craft their wedding ceremony together, both the elements and the language, such as blessing language, how much Hebrew, etc. We draw on the beauty and wisdom of Jewish tradition in ways that ring true to them.

If there is another tradition that is important to them, from another culture or another faith, we weave that in as well.

Afterward, I send them a draft of their wedding ceremony to review.

We meet a third time to go through the ceremony and resolve any remaining questions.

On their wedding day, I arrive well before the wedding and stay as long as they need me.

What other things would you like to say about your wedding ministry?

I am based in the East Bay and travel to weddings throughout the greater San Francisco Bay Area, Napa and Sonoma. I have worked with couples from near and far and am comfortable meeting in person or by Skype or Google-chat. To wedding couples who seek an experienced rabbi who is warm and open: please see my website and contact me so we can get started!

Rabbi Miriam Senturia, Singing Rabbi, was ordained as a Reconstructionist rabbi and has been officiating weddings since 1996. www.jewishinterfaithweddings.org.

Rev. Elizabeth River is an ordained Interfaith Minister based in the North Bay. For more information, please visit www. marincoastweddings.com.

My Dad, An Intrepid Love Warrior My 89-year-old dad passed away last week. He was a marvelous person – and an intrepid love warrior throughout his life. When I was born in 1958, my dad told my mother that he would like to be the one who got up in the middle of the night to feed me. My mother agreed, and my dad always described our time together during those feedings as sheer joy. “We were having so much fun that you didn’t want to go back to sleep, and neither did I.” Many years later, Stuart and I married at San Francisco City Hall on February 12, 2004, and I called my parents in Kansas City that evening to let them know. Before I could get a word out, my dad interrupted, exclaiming: “We saw what was happening in San Francisco on the news. Were you there? Did you get married?!” Just a few weeks before, my dad had heard then-President George Bush’s anti-gay pronouncements in the 2004 State of Union address, and I remember him telling me that it felt as if the President of the United States had attacked our family before the nation.

I came out to my parents back in the early 1980s. In many ways, I had it very easy: my dad was then a professor of counseling psychology with semi-out colleagues; and

Marriage Equality John Lewis, Marriage Equality USA my mother, also a university professor, had hung out in gay bars in Amsterdam with her gay friends in the 1950s. Despite my parents’ experience and intellectual understanding, my coming out process, however, presented challenges for them emotionally. Over time, they overcame them, embraced Stuart and other friends, and for years sent me clippings of every gay-related article they saw in the newspaper.

They even apologized to me for failing to be sensitive to what I had experienced growing up and asked my forgiveness.

My mother had passed away by the time Stuart and I were able to wed legally in June 2008, but my dad proudly attended the celebration at

City Hall. Last March, I visited my dad at his retirement community in Chicago before going to Washington, DC, for the Supreme Court hearings in the marriage equality cases. My dad had told all his friends and many staff all about it, and that I had co-authored an amicus brief before the Court. When I arrived, marriage equality and LGBT rights seemed to be the talk of the community. His friends now refer to Stuart as my husband.

The Lewis family came to America from Wales in the late 17th century to escape religious persecution as Quakers. When they arrived, they started a book in which they wrote down every member of the family born in the New World. My dad has the book today. In one of our last conversations, he asked me to get the book and to make sure that Stuart’s name was included in it.

It is. My dad, born a kind, joyful, caring, and thoughtful spirit, was a love warrior to the end.

John Lewis and husband Stuart Gaffney were plaintiffs in the California case for equal marriage rights decided by the California Supreme Court in 2008. John and Stuart are leaders in the nationwide grassroots organization Marriage Equality USA.

Gay Vanity Wedding Expo

PHOTO BY STEVEN UNDERHILL

PHOTO BY RINK

Jaime Botello and Fred Sullivan

PHOTO BY STEVEN UNDERHILL

PHOTO BY STEVEN UNDERHILL

PHOTO BY JO-LYNN OTTO

PHOTO BY JO-LYNN OTTO

PHOTO BY STEVEN UNDERHILL

Howard Steiermann

PHOTO BY STEVEN UNDERHILL

PHOTO BY RINK

The first Gay Vanity Fair Wedding Show was produced by founders Fred Sullivan and Jaime Botello of Sullivan Botello Events, LLC. Bay Times photographers Rink, Steven Underhill and Jo-Lynn Otto were there capturing the moment in photos. Popular columnist Howard Steiermann represented the Bay Times and shared his expertise as a wedding officiant and ritual facilitator.

The show featured exhibitors providing information and samples, a fashion show of top of the line wedding attire for any gender, and a crowd of spirited attendees. Held at the Bently Reserve, the event featured a variety of services and products designed to create a personalized wedding.

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Interview

New Rainbow Scholarship Helps Aspiring LGBT Musicians Special to the “Bay Times”

Lawrence Dillon: The Rainbow Scholarship is a new annual financial award to help aspiring LGBT musicians achieve their dreams by attending the renowned San Francisco Conservatory of Music. It’s the first LGTB scholarship at the Conservatory. It sends a message to LGBT youth that they’re welcome at the Conservatory and will be accepted for who they are in the music world.

The San Francisco Conservatory of Music is a music school established in 1917. It trains and nurtures new generations of classical music per formers, singers and composers at state of the art facilities in the Civic Center arts corridor. I think it’s an amazing asset to our community.

BT: How and why did the concept for the Rainbow Scholarship originate?

LD: My late partner Don Oestreicher and I shared a love of classical music. We attended many concerts and master classes (as observers) at the Conservatory. In addition to supporting the Conservatory, Don supported various LGBT organizations. We were together 18 years, and when he passed on in 2008, I wanted to do something special to honor him and his love of music. Establishing the Rainbow Scholarship seemed like the perfect way to do that.

BT: How do potential recipients find out about the Rainbow Scholarship, and what’s the process to apply? Who selects the winner?

LD: The Rainbow Scholarship is different than most scholarships in that students do not apply for it.

The Student Advisory Committee at the Conservatory nominates 3 candidates who must be Conservatory students who demonstrate signif icant f inancial need, academic excellence and service to

Lawrence (Bud) Dillon and Donald Oestreicher

the LGBT community. The admissions staff selects the winner.

BT: Please tell us about the f irst recipient and what he has to say about being an LGBT musician.

L D: The f irst recipient of the Rainbow Scholarship is Andres Ramirez, 23, who is studying for a Master of Music degree in Voice.

Ramirez is a talented tenor who grew up in Los Angeles and hopes to perform in the world’s major opera houses one day. He came out as “bi-curious” to a few friends in middle school, and now identifies as a gay man.

I was invited to meet Andres at the Conservatory for lunch and attend one of his lessons with instructor Cesar Ulloa. All donors at the school are encouraged to get to know their scholarship recipients and support their efforts at concerts and recitals. I was impressed with his talent and dedication.

Andres told me that the Rainbow Scholarship means a lot to him, and not only as a financial boost.

This scholarship makes him feel like he belongs to a strong community of LGBT artists, art lovers and allies.

BT: Are concerts at the Conservatory open to the public?

LD: Yes. If you’re a music lover and haven’t yet been to a concert at the Conservatory, I urge you to go – you’re in for a big treat! The acoustics in their Concert Hall are the best in the city, and the energy of the young performers brings fresh joy to the experience of live classical music. Check out the performance calendar on their website. The next big orchestra concert is this Saturday evening, February 22. If you’d like to join other supporters of the Rainbow Scholarship Fund and go to concerts together, send an email message to rainbowscholarship@gmail.com and I’ll add you to the mailing list.

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P H OTO S B Y B E TSY K E RSH N E R

Andres Ramirez (left) performing the role of Eisenstein in the Conservatory opera department’s spring 2013 production of Die Fledermaus composed by Johann Strauss II.

BT: What is your role in the LGBT community, Lawrence, with the Rainbow Scholarship?

LD: I see myself as an ambassador telling every music lover about this local music treasure. Currently the annual tuition at the Conservatory is $38,900. The first Rainbow Scholarship was only $1,200, but as more people contribute to the Rainbow Scholarship Fund, the bigger the award can be. My goal is to grow the Fund by 5-10% per year, and eventually be able to provide a full-tuition scholarship for an aspiring LGTB musician.

BT: How can one contribute to the Rainbow Scholarship Fund and find out more information?

LD: If you would like to make a tax-deductible contribution to the Rainbow Scholarship Fund, thank you! To contribute online, use the donation form at www.bit.ly/rainbowscholarship. Under “Please select the category of your donation,” select “Scholarship Fund.”

Under “Gift Membership/Named Contribution/Tribute Gift Information,” select “A Gift Membership for.” In the text box below that, enter “Rainbow Scholarship Fund.” Complete the rest of the form as needed, then submit the form and you’re done.

If you prefer to contribute to the Rainbow Scholarship Fund by mail or phone, or if you have questions about it, please call June Hom at 415-503-6201 or email her at jhom@sfcm.edu.

And please like our Facebook page at RainbowScholarship.org!

P H OTO C O URT ESY SAN FR AN C I SC O C O NS ER VATO RY O F M U SIC

Bay Times: What exactly is the Rainbow Scholarship and where is it awarded?

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The Bay Times was delighted to learn about a new annual award for LGBT musicians called the Rainbow Scholarship. Its founder, Lawrence Dillon, recently shared information with us about this important, groundbreaking and potentially career-launching new scholarship based right here in the Bay Area.

Tribute to Stu Smith

Stuart (Stu) Morrison Smith died after a brief battle with cancer on Monday, February 3, surrounded by old friends and family members including his beloved husband, Dave Earl. Mr. Smith was 73.

Our Bay Times family is mourning the loss of columnist and supporter Stu Smith. He was always there for us. Most of his communications ended with: “If I can help, let me know.” He meant it, and he demonstrated his heartfelt dedication and generous spirit time and again.

He was the consummate professional, arriving for meetings and events right on schedule, and submitting his pieces well ahead of publication dates. Such attributes, however, can’t even begin to capture meaningful gifts like the love shared in his warm hugs, the power of his magnificent soothing voice, the wisdom of his counsel, his great sense of humor, and the tremendous good and healing energy that he brought into any room.

Stu’s fondness for San Francisco and its legendary greats, such as

Herb Caen, inspired Stu’s Bay Times column, “Don’t Call It Frisco.” Caen once said, “I’ve loved this town before I was born, and I’ll love it after I’m gone. One day if I do go to heaven, I’m going to do what every San Franciscan does who goes to heaven -- he looks around and says, ‘It ain’t bad, but it ain’t San Francisco.’” We’ve now lost both of these towering icons, but our city was changed for the better by Stu, and he will never be forgotten.

As you read through the following pieces, you’ll learn more about Stu. It was important for us to help document his life and legacy for future generations. Through those that he influenced, the Memorial Fund established in his name, and through other means, the muchneeded efforts of this truly great San Franciscan will continue.

Stu was a lifelong Bay Area resident and a larger-than-life figure in San Francisco, the city he adored and where he had lived for more than 40 years. A fifth-generation Californian, he was born on December 7, 1940, in Palo Alto to Morrison Stuart Smith and Carolyn Elizabeth Smith, both now deceased.

After attending Foothill College and majoring in philosophy at San Jose State University, Stu partnered with a childhood friend to lead an electronics manufacturing firm in Palo Alto. He worked there until the early 1970s, when he departed for San Francisco to enter the bar and restaurant business. From then until the mid-1990s, he owned or managed a series of quintessentially San Francisco dining and drinking establishments, including Zott’s, the Chestnut Street Bar and Grill, the Baja Beach Club, 39 Main in Tiburon and Harpoon Louie’s. Stu was a “front-of-the-house” operator - a master publican - seemingly always present and happily working the crowd, telling stories (some of them true) and making his customers feel like they were right at the center of the action.

In the mid 1990s, Stu pivoted yet again, this time to a life dedicated almost entirely to serving others.

He worked for many civic and nonprofit organizations as both a volunteer and a leader. Last year, he received the KQED LGBT Local Hero Award, in recognition of his contributions, at a gala event held at the Castro Theatre.

Stu’s efforts as an active member of Alcoholics Anonymous, with which he was intensely involved almost daily from 1993 until only days before his death, became his passion and served as his philosophical touchstone for all his work that followed with other organizations. He was a sponsor, mentor and friend to innumerable people in recovery.

He was Board Chair and later Board Chair Emeritus at the Shanti Project, where he also served as a volunteer for 18 years. He was a board member of the Gladstone Institute and the San Francisco Paratransit Coordinating Council. He served on the San Francisco LGBT Aging

Policy Task Force, as a member of the San Francisco Civil Grand Jury, and as a volunteer adjudicator for the District Attorney’s office. He worked with the UCSF AIDS Research Center and the Richmond/Ermet AIDS Foundation. He was actively involved for many years with the Castro Country Club, a clean and sober gathering place, and one of his favorite places to hangout and find fellowship.

Stu’s passion for hamburgers led him on quests far and wide to f ind the best burger, and he wrote “The Burger Bible” to share his f indings.

On Yelp, his tireless and welldocumented pursuit of this elusive goal earned him the title “Burger Guru.”

He hosted two local television shows – Face 2 Face with Stu Smith and The Drag Show. And he was a frequent contributing columnist to the San Francisco Bay Times, opining on an eclectic range of topics from the abuse of handicapped parking privileges to the scarcity of af fordable housing in San Francisco.

Through the arc of his remarkable life, Stu touched countless people with his gentle wisdom, his sense of humor, his seemingly endless energy, his quiet humility and his uncanny ability to make others feel like they really mattered.

He is survived by his husband, William David Earl of San Francisco; his brother, Stephen Baxter Smith of Sarasota, FL; his nieces Samantha Jeanne Smith of Burlingame and Julie Black of Oregon and nieceby-marriage Nancy Carolyn Glover of Campbell; his nephews Spencer Calvin Smith, also of Campbell, and Cameron Baxter Smith, of Sunnyvale; his cousin Sharon Anne von Haesler of Lower Lake (CA); and Janet Ely, his former sisterin-law and dear friend since high school. His other brother, Gary Arthur Smith, predeceased him.

A celebration of Stu’s life will be held on Sunday, March 23, from 2 to 4 p.m. in the Julia Morgan Ballroom of the Merchant’s Exchange Building, 465 California Street, San Francisco.

The family asks that, in lieu of f lowers, memorial contributions may be made to The Shanti Project at w w w. razoo.com/story/The-Stu-Smith-Memorial-Fund.

PHOTOS BY RINK

Stu Smith December 7, 1940 - February 3, 2014

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Tribute to Stu Smith

A Love Letter to Shanti

A Remembrance of Stu Smith and his Legacy of Service

HIV was ravaging the community here in San Francisco and around the world, and when I got the results that decreed me infected back in 1988, I assumed, like all gay men, that I had little left of my life. I was frightened and unsure what I could do to fight this death sentence. I read an article that prof iled a non-prof it I knew nothing of, but this non-profit was training men and women to become providers of practical and emotional support to the many with promising futures who were dying so young.

I soon learned about Shanti’s transportation program, which took clients to medical and shopping appointments every day at no charge.

At one time, there were as many as seven vans and mini buses picking up folks, getting them to their appointments and back home. I wound up being hired as a driver for a period of time as my health improved with the advent of the new life saving medicines. Shanti was truly about service.

Complications back then included our clients’ need for anonymity because some communities were afraid to be around anyone diagnosed with HIV/AIDS, so our vehicles were unmarked and had black-out windows before they became popular.

I was then ready for the volunteer training that took two weekends and at least another Friday night. I desperately wanted to know what people living and dying with this plague went through, so I found myself in training on a Friday night at Shanti when it was located on Market Street at Van Ness.

There were a total of about 18 men and women taking that training. None of us knew one another, but by the time we ended our training, we were connected in an intimacy I’d only read about or seen in tear jerker movies.

It was a huge success from its first day in 1974. In 1983, Charlie and many other medical providers started seeing patients with what they then called the ‘gay cancer.’ Many were soon dying abruptly of this devastating new disease. Charlie made a decision to open up Shanti to those being diagnosed with ‘GRID’ before we learned that it was really a horrible auto immune def iciency that came to be known as AIDS. By the end of 1982, Shanti Project was providing trained volunteers to hundreds of people diagnosed, and that number has grown to many thousands.

When I first became Executive Director of the Shanti Project, I was only 30 and completely inexperienced.

Stu took me under his wing, and we were joined at the hip for a couple of years. He shared his experiences and guidance, introduced me to everyone he could, and was always so optimistic and confident in the healing and transformative powers of compassion.

Shanti Model of training ordinary (not really) men and women to walk through the end of life experience with many thousands of people who might otherwise die alone and afraid.

I absolutely and unconditionally love Shanti. It changed my life in ways I could never have imagined. It’s allowed me to learn about love in ways I thought were reserved for only the holiest of men and women. It’s shown me the simple truth of just listening without judgment or insurmountable fear, and to allow people the dignity to be true to themselves rather than to standards that mean little as we end life as we think we know it.

Stu knew firsthand how compassion could save one’s life. Ernest Hemingway reminds us that this world breaks everyone, but some of us are able to come back stronger in the places where we were broken. When this world broke Stu, he chose to heal himself. But that wasn’t enough for Stu, because he realized one of the great secrets of life—that the way we go beyond healing, and actually become stronger in our broken places—is by being there for others so that they too can heal and become stronger.

After about 20 years of service with Shanti as a program volunteer, driver, board member, and three great years as board chair, I was asked by the amazing Kaushik Roy- Shanti’s inspirational and dedicated Executive Director- if I would accept a new title the organization had never used before. It is Board Chair Emeritus. I acIn the almost four decades Shanti has cepted, because it will keep my heart existed, more than 20,000 men and close to, and ever more dedicated to, women have taken the Shanti trainhelping Shanti serve others who are ing. Most have served one or more clients needing support that comes in such great need. It also seems like from learning to speak “the language a useful title when I ask people and of love,” as we say at Shanti after all organizations to support the work we these wonderful, rewarding years. do at Shanti every day.

During the later 1980’s, it is estimated that Charlie Garfield helped estab- Stu Smith lish as many as 300 agencies using the February 14, 2013, Valentine’s Day

PHOTO BY BRUCE BEAUDE T TE

Charlie Garfield was there the night we all met and started this amazing

journey. He told us how, as a psychologist working with individuals living with end stage cancer, he felt they deserved and needed practical and emotional support to go through the gut wrenching challenges of facing death. As a doctor, he could see only a small percentage of those in such great need. He created a training model, The Shanti Model, to train lay people to perform and provide this needed service.

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I would not be the person I am without Stu, and Shanti would not be the organization that it is today. The beautiful thing about Stu is that there are countless numbers of people and organizations that can say the exact same thing.

Over the last 20 years, Stu was a shining example of how to lead a truly meaningful and self less life. Before his passing, I knew that a lot of people loved Stu. What I’ve realized in the two weeks since his death is just how deeply people loved Stu, and how incredibly affected others were by his caring and nurturing ways. He was truly an original and will be greatly missed. I hope we all try to follow his lead and continue his inimitable legacy of service.

Kaushik Roy serves as Executive Director of the Shanti Project, one of San Francisco’s oldest community-based HIV/AIDS and cancer nonprofit agencies.

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PHOTO BY STEVEN UNDERHILL

At that time, Shanti offered several programs, in addition to the volunteer program. I quickly signed up to work in their activities program, which provided free tickets to theater performances, movies, clubs, concerts, and even some Giant’s games. It was fun, and I worked hard with many others to reach out and get blocks of tickets Shanti clients could use and enjoy. I also got to attend many events I couldn’t otherwise afford, being on disability. We were on the phone asking for tickets and giving them out for 8 or more hours every day, and it felt so good.

With the passing of Stu Smith on February 3rd, San Francisco’s LGBT, HIV, and Recovery communities lost one of their iconic members and leaders. Words are inadequate to try to describe the breadth of his impact and the void he leaves behind in the community. As he was for so many others, Stu was a pillar of love and strength for me. He made a huge impact on my life as an invaluable mentor and dear friend.

I’m not sure if any of us knows anyone else that has done what Stu did for the last two decades. In his own gentle, unassuming way, he offered love and compassion to everyone he encountered. Whether it was through his recovery or all the different nonprof its in which he was involved, Stu showed up for countless numbers of people, so they could also heal and become stronger.

PHOTO BY RONANARIETTAPHOTOGR APHY

My motivation was fear that I’d die alone without a clue on how to face death with dignity and faith. I called Shanti the next day, and within a few days was going through an intake to qualify myself to be a volunteer working with men and women trying to make life easier for those going through the struggle with AIDS.

By Kaushik Roy

Tribute to Stu Smith

My First and Last Love Letter Dear My One and Only Stu Smith, I wanted to send you a letter of love, gratitude and praise. I have never loved another human being as much as I love you! I wake up thinking about you.

I can see the sleep in your eyes and can feel your warmth. My soul embraces you and I am filled with drive and comfort. Comfort has been present from day one and it has never left.

PHOTO BY STEVEN UNDERHILL

I’m looking through all of our photos that we have taken, and I feel an overwhelming sense of gratitude. I am so thankful our love has grown and will grow forever. Growing up, I had five examples of what relationships could turn out to be. I took many mental notes, and found that their lifestyle may not be my path. My soul is at ease and knows Stu Smith is my path and lover.

My equal, my other half, mentor and comedic comrade.

I praise your strength one day at a time and look up to you. I praise your ability to accept life and move forward. I praise your thoughts and insight. I praise your sense of comedy. Laughter is one of our dear friends, and I love to laugh with you. A day doesn’t go by that I don’t stop and marvel at our amazing love and partnership.

You, Stu Smith, are my husband, partner and mentor. Hell, you’re my everything. I can’t think of anyone else I would want to spend the rest of my life with. I love you to pieces. Kisses.

Love, Dave Earl-Smith

PHOTOS COURTESY OF DAVID EARL SMITH AND SHANTI

My life is amazing right now because of you.

I am grateful right now because of you.

My soul flies right now because of you.

My thoughts are recognized right now because of you.

My love is overflowing right now because of you.

My heart is comforted right now because of you.

My feelings of the world are secure right now because of you.

Because of you, I can be William David Earl.

You are you.

I am I. We are we.

Love is Love.

Souls are souls.

Life just works, One Day at a Time.

BAY T IM ES F EBRUARY 20, 2014

13

Tom Waddell: The True Olympian

Rainbow Honor Walk Dr. Bill Lipsky No one ever brought more of the true Olympian spirit to San Francisco than Tom Waddell. As the Olympic Charter holds, he built “a peaceful and better world by educating youth through sport practiced without discrimination of any kind,” and he also strove to “promote mutual understanding with a spirit of friendship, solidarity and fair play.” Waddell’s vision, in fact, was even more powerful. He had a goal of furthering, as he explained it, “sport based on inclusion rather than exclusion,” and sport based on equality and universal participation. His Gay Olympic Games would bring people together to know each other and to challenge each other to excel.

The Games were held for the first time in San Francisco in 1982. They not only would celebrate people, but they would also enable people to be honest and open with each other about themselves. Anybody could participate, with no regard to race, gender, age, national origin, or sexual orientation – and with no minimum qualifying standards or even athletic ability. The only criteria were the desire to compete and to be one’s best. For his efforts, the United States Olympic Committee took him to court twice.

Although the word “olympic” has been part of the English language since at least the late 16th century, it became the exclusive property of the United States Olympic Committee in 1978, a gift of the United States Congress. Nineteen days before the opening ceremonies, USOC received the court injunction it sought to forbid Waddell from using the term. Even though it allowed—and allows —pancake, math, frog, pattern, librarian, urology and doggie olympics, among others, without apparent damage or injury to its reputation or world standing, the Committee forced Waddell to delete “olympic” from his organization’s name and everything associated with it, including posters, banners, programs, flags, souvenirs, and award medals.

1982 Gay Games poster friend, which moved him to switch to pre-med.

Waddell graduated from the New Jersey College of Medicine in 1965. The next year, he was drafted into the Army. Two years later, when he received orders to ship out to Vietnam, he told his commanding officer that he was morally opposed to the war and preferred to go to prison. Instead of being court-martialed, however, the military sent him to train, with other service members, for the Summer Olympic Games in Mexico City. He placed sixth among thirty-three competitors in the decathlon, an outstanding achievement even for an athlete with years of rigorous preparation. Waddell, who had not been in a decathlon for more than five years, had prepared for a negligible three months.

An individual of wide-ranging interests and concerns, Waddell embraced the cause of human rights his entire life. In 1965, he travelled to Selma, Alabama, to participate in the civil rights demonstrations there. While still in the Army, he openly criticized the Vietnam war. At the 1968 Olympics, he supported the actions of two American athletes who were harshly criticized for giving the Black Power salute during their award ceremony. Even before homosexuality became legal in California, he was openly gay. In 1976, he and Charles Deaton became the first gay partners profiled in People magazine’s “Couples” section. As a healer of human suffering and

a champion for human dignity and equal rights, his is a place of distinction on San Francisco’s Rainbow Honor Walk.

Waddell died on July 11, 1987, but the Gay Games continue as a living tribute to this remarkable man and role model. In 1990, more than seven thousand athletes participated in Gay Games III, held in Vancouver. Four years later, New York’s Gay Games IV, with almost 11,000 athletes from six continents, became the largest amateur sporting event in history, a distinction it held until the 2008 Summer Olympics 14 years later. Gay Games IX will take place at locations in Cleveland and Akron in 2014.

Bill Lipsky, PhD, author of “Gay and Lesbian San Francisco” (2006), is a member of the Rainbow Honor Walk board of directors.

The case was argued all the way to the Supreme Court of the United, which ruled in a 5-4 decision in 1987 that USOC had “the legal authority to bar a homosexual rights group from using the generic word ‘olympic’ in the name of its games.” By then, USOC had also sued Waddell for its court costs of some $96,000, and placed a lien on his home.

Bay Times is proud to support the Rainbow Honor Walk rainbowhonorwalk.org Games participants 14

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PH OTO S C O URT E SY O F R AI N BO W H O N O R WAL K

A true Olympian, Waddell excelled in many fields. He was born Thomas Flubacher on November 1, 1937, in Paterson, N. J. After his parents separated, he went to live with Gene and Hazel Waddell, who later adopted him and encouraged an interest in sports. At Springfield College in Massachusetts, he joined both the gymnastics and football teams. He was a physical education major too, until the unexpected death of his college roommate and best

History Happens

News from the GLBT Historical Society & The GLBT History Museum Three Questions for Lee Callahan: ‘Becoming a Volunteer Was Long at the Top of My List’

Castro in 2011, I started volunteering there, at first just working the front desk and helping out at events.

Lee Callahan has been a volunteer at The GLBT History Museum for nearly three years. In November 2013, he joined the board of the GLBT Historical Society — while continuing to lend a hand at the museum. A Bay Area native who works as a freelance translator and editor, Callahan has lived in Alaska, the Netherlands and Japan. He recently took a few minutes to give us an insider’s view of the role of volunteers at the Historical Society — and to talk about the contributions of transgender people to the leadership of the institution.

What do you f ind rewarding about volunteering at the museum?

How has transgender leadership helped the society fulfill its mission?

Some of the most active members of the society have been transgender, including organizer and author Lou Sullivan, an early board member; historian and filmmaker Susan Stryker, a former executive director; and longtime trans activist Felicia Elizondo, who curated our current exhibit

P HOTO C OURT ESY OF GL BT HISTORIC AL SOC IET Y ( SAN F RAN C ISC O)

I’d known about the GLBT Historical Society for many years, and becoming a volunteer there was long at the top of my list of things that I wanted do to get more involved with my community. When I moved back to the Bay Area a few years ago, I went to the gallery space, then still located downtown, and was very impressed with an exhibition there about Lou Sullivan, a historian, gay trans man and Historical Society member who died in 1991. So when the society opened The GLBT History Museum in the

about transgender performer Vicki Marlane. As someone who identifies as both gay and trans, I’m really proud to be part of this organization.

The Historical Society belongs to trans people just as it belongs to all members of the GLBT community and those who support us — and as my experience shows, it offers all of us an opportunity to play vital roles in preserving, interpreting and sharing our history.

Why Meet a Challenge When You Can Beat It? Donors Soar Past $17,000 Fundraising Goal Late last year, the City of San Francisco issued a challenge to the GLBT Historical Society in the form of a $17,000 matching grant to support The GLBT History Museum. To qualify, the society was required to raise an equal amount from new donations or increased gifts from past donors. The results are now in — and they’re spectacular.

Qualifying for the grant was just one step in the Historical Society’s 2014 fundraising plan. “With all-new exhibitions and other exciting projects in the works, we’ll be counting on the community throughout the year,” Boneberg noted. The GLBT Historical Society is a 501(c)3 nonprofit; all donations are tax deductible. To make a contribution, please go to: www.kintera.org/AutoGen/Simple/ Donor.asp?ievent=273930&en=ajKJ LXODK9LSJ7MGI8JOL9MXLlIU L8PQLlJOK8PYIxF Historical Society Joins Free Weekend Expo for San Francisco History Buffs, March 1-2 The GLBT Historical Society will join more than 40 other San Francisco historical, cultural and preservation organizations at the annual San Francisco History Expo, set for Saturday, March 1, 11 a.m. to 5 p.m., and Sunday, March 2, 11 a.m. to 4 p.m., at San Francisco’s historic Old Mint building at 5th and Mission.

Sponsored by the San Francisco Museum and Historical Society, the expo is open to the public with a sliding-scale admission of $5.00. Participating organizations will display mini-museums from their diverse collections. In addition, special presentations and films on local history will be offered both days.

On Sunday, March 1, from 3:00 to 4:00 p.m., the Historical Society will present “Lost and Found: Searching for LGBT Historic Sites in San Francisco.” Donna Graves, a public historian, and Gerard Koskovich, a curator at The GLBT History Museum, will survey queer historic places that San Francisco has lost, and will discuss the ways a new City-funded study cosponsored by the society will help identify the numerous sites of LGBT history that still exist.

For more details, visit: http://www. sfhistoryexpo.org/ The GLBT History Museum: 4127 18th Street, San Francisco; 415-6211107; www.glbthistorymuseum.org GLBT Historical Society: 657 Mission Street, Suite 300, San Francisco; 415777-5455, ext. 3#; www.glbthistory.org

PH OTO C O URT E SY O F G LBT H I STO R I C AL SO C IE T Y (SA N F RAN CI SCO)

“Our amazing members and friends didn’t just meet the funding challenge from the City — they beat it,” said Paul Boneberg, executive director of the Historical Society. “Nearly 300 people donated more $50,000 to our the year-end campaign — including

more than $20,000 from new donors or increased gifts. This is exactly the kind of generous support that makes it possible for the museum and archives to grow and thrive.”

PH OTO C O URT E SY O F G LBT H I STO R I C AL SO C IE T Y (SA N F RAN CI SCO)

How did you first get involved with the GLBT Historical Society?

I really enjoy meeting the people who come to the museum and talking with them about our history! We have visitors from all over the world, and locals often share their knowledge about the Bay Area’s “vast queer past.” Plus I’ve been able to meet people who have played spectacular roles in our history: José Sarria, Phyllis Lyon, Cleve Jones and Susan Stryker, for example.

Also, after volunteering for a while, I got trained as a docent, so now I give group tours, too, which is fun.

And in the summer of 2012, I helped organize a two-part panel discussion about transgender filmmaking, which went really well.

Historical Society board member Lee Callahan (left) with longtime volunteer Tom Burtch.

BAY T IM ES F EBRUARY 20, 2014

15

Sister Dana Sez: Words of Wisdumb From a Fun Nun

P oint R eyes B ooks P Resents

A Book Study in Five Sessions Based on

AGING AS A SPIRITUAL PRACTICE

by Lewis Richmond, Zen Buddhist Priest Led by Interfaith Minister Elizabeth River

Fridays, 1 PM March 14, 21, 28, April 4, 11 Point Reyes Presbyterian Church 11445 Highway 1, Point Reyes Station

Donations requested Information: ptreyesbooks.com/events

By Sister Dana Van Iquity

Have you experienced deepening wisdom, unexpected grace, or greater love and appreciation from aging?

Do you have questions, fears, or other challenges with aging?

A section of the book will be covered in each class, finishing with a plan— both personal and as a group—for how to live in a way that is more nurturing, more meaningful, and includes more joy.

Rev. Elizabeth River is an Interfaith minister and a chaplain at Hospice by the Bay in Larkspur. She also officiates weddings and memorial services.

For more information call 415.663.1542 or visit www.ptreyesbooks.com

Come celebrate M A R DI GR AS 2014 on Saturday, March 1st, 7-11pm with SF’s KREWE DE KINQUE! Our BAL MASQUE XI - MARDI GRAS MAGICK will sweep you up in all things Coven, Occult, Voodoo & Magik...while raising funds for SF Night Ministry for those in need on the street. We’re transforming Club 180 at The ARC (1500 Howard at 15th Street) into a Bourbon Street Boudoir, so you Betta Show Us Somethin’ to EARN YOUR BEADS! The Masked Ball starts with our famous VIP reception featuring an open bar, live music, silent auction preview, and fabulous Creole/Southern cuisine ($50 advance). General admission is 8pm with free beads, DJ Shaun P, silent auction, a spectacular tableaux show including music artists, drag performances, comedy, and the crowning of the new King XI & Queen XI! Kicking off the festivities at 8:30pm is our Grand Marshal and SF Impresario Patrik Gallineaux!

(What will he wear?!). sfkinque.com.

Join KREWE DE KINQUE for our ANNUAL FAT TUESDAY BAR CR AWL aboard the KDK Party Bus! Put on your finest mask and costume, and join us for a Kinky Night on the Town! Tuesday, March 4th, 6pm to midnight (and beyond!) starting at the Edge in the Castro. Booze on da bus. Tickets are very limited and only $20 in advance from King X Kippy Marks: kippymarks@yahoo.com or (415) 574-5639. Queen VII Sister Dana sez, “Let the good times roll!”

Celebrating 30 Years March 18–23 Enjoy this annual exhibition featuring unique art and floral mash-ups where floral designers create arrangements that pay tribute to and draw inspiration from works in the de Young’s permanent collections.

Grand Patron

diane B. Wilsey

Corporate leader

William Joseph McCloskey, Oranges in Tissue Paper, ca. 1890. oil on canvas. Fine arts Museums of San Francisco, gift of Mr. and Mrs. John d. rockefeller 3rd. Floral design by Friends of Filoli. Photograph © Greg a. lato / latoga photography

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Golden Gate Park deyoungmuseum.org/bouquets

SAN FR ANCISCO EQUALITY AWARDS KICKOFF COCKTAIL PARTY was held at Jones lounge as an informative meeting and encouragement to attend the EQCA AWARDS on April 12 at the Palace Hotel, where Frenchie Davis of American Idol and Vocal Rush of TV’s Sing-Off perform. EQCA will honor Lieutenant Governor Gavin Newsom with the Vanguard Award. Event co-chair Bevan Dufty said Equality California is the largest statewide LGBTQ advocacy organization in California working to secure full and lasting equality for and acceptance of LGBTQ people. Over the past decade, EQCA has partnered with social justice advocates, businesses, grassroots supporters, and legislative leaders to strategically move California from a state with extremely limited legal protections for queer people to a state with some of the most comprehensive human rights protections in the nation. Dufty introduced openly gay Supervisor David Campos, who is running for state assembly and is endorsed by EQCA. Campos said it was important to continue the unbroken tradition since 1996 of “sending a queer voice to Sacramento” and of building coalitions the way Harvey Milk did decades ago. Campos is running in Milk’s district. Campos is also addressing the housing crisis in San Francisco, where 30% of the homeless population is queer. Executive Director John O’Connor spoke of the importance of lobbying for civil rights, saying, “If you don’t have a seat at the table, you are on the menu!” He emphasized that our

P HOTO BY T HOM ASIN A DEM AIO

Sister Dana sez (in a N’Awlins drawl), “May I be the first to wish y’all a Happy Mardi Gras?! And show me somethin’, mister!”

Share your journey of aging with a small, caring community of others on the same path.

Bay Times columnist Dennis McMillan, aka Sister Dana, with his sketchbook at the Drink n Draw event held on Monday Nights at Moby Dick, a popular Castro bar on 18th Street.

same-sex marriage victory is just the start of the fight for human rights and full equality.

EQCA congratulated Assemblymember Toni Atkins on being chosen Speaker of the California State Assembly. Atkins, who represents Assembly District 78, last year authored AB 1121, which simplified the process for name changes to reflect a person’s gender identity. She is only the second Democratic woman and second member of the LGBTQ community to hold the post.

VALENTINE’S DAY was different this year. We SISTERS OF PERPETUAL INDULGENCE passed out over 500 home-made Valentines cards to strangers in the Castro, as well as candy kisses and condoms.

This will become our annual tradition, reaching out to those who may not be excited about that fake Hallmark card holiday. Thanks to Novice Sister Jendra Uforia for creating this lovely event.

Then at night I attended the HORROR S OF L OV E H AU N T E D HOUSE at the Center for Sex & Culture. It was put on by the communities that bring us Faetopia and Zombie Christ, who created a labyrinth filled with interactive performance and visual arts tableaus that awed and appalled: an artistic chimera exploring the sinister and sometimes sadistic sides of love, in the typically hilarious f lare of the radical faeries and queerdos by the Bay. The scariest part was the love zombie who kept tearing at my heart and complaining about our breakup. As “I Will Always Love You” cloyingly played, he tried to hold me back. Well, we HAD to break up: he only wanted me for my brain! This is a fun group with great parties: feyboy.com.

On February 12th, national FREEDOM TO MARRY DAY, same-sex couples and supporters celebrated the 10th Anniversary of the marriages that began in San Francisco City Hall on February 12th, 2004.

Couples and supporters gathered in the City Hall Rotunda and proceeded to the Clerk’s office to thank the City and County for marrying over 4,000 couples and for standing up for the freedom to marry. One couple’s placard stated, “A Newsom Twosome: Married Ten Years,” referring to then-Mayor Gavin Newsom, who decreed legalized same-sex marriage in SF. After that, the City’s off icial commemoration, WINTER OF LOVE, took place back in the Rotunda. Lieutenant Governor Newsom accompanied Phyllis Lyon, the very first couple he married (to the late Del Martin). Many politicos and equality organizations attended and spoke, including NCLR Executive Director Kate Kendell, who reminisced about that landmark day and its unhappy revocation, and Mayor Ed Lee, who presented

the Key to the City to Newsom. City Hall would now be lit up in rainbow lights through the Sochi Olympics in demonstration against Russian homophobia.

My good friend and fellow Bay Times columnist STU SMITH passed away February 3rd with his partner and soul-mate, Dave Earl, by his side.

Stu had been a life-long volunteer for causes ranging from St. Anthony’s Kitchen, The San Francisco Firefighters Toy Program, Shanti Project, and Positive Resource Center to Applied Aquatics Institute, and The San Francisco Publicity Club. Additionally, he was a member of the LGBT Task Force. He became very active in Shanti, including four terms as board chair. I will miss him so so much.

CUMMING UP! Join us for sparklers, sweets, and spectacle in a home-spun salon featuring a private Queer art collection in a magnificent Castro Victorian, February 23rd 3-5pm. THE HOMO FILE SALON TWO will celebrate the life of Gay iconoclast Sam Steward, the sexiest English Lit. professor on campus, who was also a seminal tattoo artist, pioneering gay author and sexual rebel. The event will include live music, speakers and rare sexy visual treats -- plus an unveiling of Steward’s artwork in this exceptional Queer Art collection supporting the May 2014 premiere of Homo File at CounterPULSE for the National Queer Arts Festival. http://us1.campaign-archive2.com/?u=92079825f a8169bfbd45bf819&id=3b1e227eed FLESH, FETISH AND FAIRYTALES: DRAWINGS BY KERRY KELLY AND KAREN THOMAS are on display at the Center for Sex & Culture, 1349 Mission Street, now through March 29th. Gallery hours: Mondays, 11:30-4 pm, before events or by appointment. Kelly’s series of drawings, “The Dirty Girl,” highlights sexual activity among disparate age groups. Often focusing on the elderly bodies that are more than sexually active - they are kinky, aware, mischievous, and fully engaged with their bodies and desires. Thomas’ overtly erotic drawings and paintings are filtered through her personal philosophies on mythology, Catholicism, ritual, fairytales, feminism, and eroticism. sexandculture.org/gallery.

SH* T & CHA MPAGNE is extended through March 1st at Rebel, 1760 Market Street, starring D’Arcy Drollinger, Matthew Martin, Peter Griggs, Steven LeMay, Alex Brown, and Nancy French.

Directed by Drollinger and Laurie Bushman, D’Arcy’s tribute to female empowerment and the low-budget exploitation films of the 70’s delivers eighty minutes of high-kicking, butt-whomping, dance and comedy.

Fridays, Saturdays 8pm. rebel-sf.com. (continued on page 22)

Arts&Entertainment Remembering Gwen Avery: Great Soul, Great Singer death does for us. It helps us to finally grasp the precious beauty of the people who surround us. But always too late, too late.

Now that she’s gone, the Gwen stories are pouring out. One of my favorites is Lajuana’s. The first time she met Gwen, Lajuana was in a very bad way. And Gwen invited Lajuana to lie down and take a nap with her.

Music

Terry Baum Gwen Avery, the amazing and powerful African-American blues singer who gave so much to the Bay Area lesbian community, died unexpectedly from complications of gall-bladder surgery on January 31 at the age of 71. So many of us older dykes saw her perform in cafes, theaters, concert halls, bookstores, house parties, community centers and churches. She contributed her unique, rollicking persona to countless benefits. Always, she moved us and made us move our bodies. She joyfully invited us to the party that was Gwen. She was like no other performer.

Many of us were her friends. Many of us produced her gigs. Many of us had our hair cut by her. Many of us helped her when she was down, which was often. She spent a lot of time homeless in her last decade. Many of us gave her a place to stay. Many of us turned our backs when we got fed up with her. Many of us took her for granted.

“Oh, Gwen Avery? Don’t need to go see her tonight. She’s always around.”

I count myself in all of the above categories.

Now that she’s gone, we can see the enormity of our loss. This is what

That’s all there is to the story. A woman offers another woman, a stranger, the brief intimacy of rest and cuddling. I cannot imagine myself doing something so gentle and so spontaneous, even with a close friend. But Gwen offered her new acquaintance a nap. She was a great soul. She lived her life with an openness that made it a wild improvisation filled with startling moments of empathy and love.

There were also moments of chaos and anger. From 2007 to 2010, I followed Gwen around, filming her life, in the service of creating a full-length documentary. Once, Gwen and I were returning from a gig in Santa Rosa. We’d stayed overnight, and when I went to ask our hosts directions to the freeway, Gwen stopped me. She knew the way.

So, we got in the car and drove…and drove and drove, this way and that, in circles, back and forth. I begged Gwen to stop and ask for directions, but she refused, furious at me for doubting her. She yelled; I begged. We drove. I thought the only thing that would end the insanity was running out of gas.

Unfortunately, we had just filled the tank. Finally, almost two hours later, we stumbled onto a freeway entrance and returned to San Francisco. That was how Gwen lived her life. She never asked for directions.

That Santa Rosa gig was special. We had driven up so Gwen could perform at a monthly lesbian salon that Rosa and Kay held in the backyard of their home. They actually had built a little stage, and it was lovely, surrounded by greenery. Rosa had assured us that the salon had a real following. But, apparently, the following was Jewish lesbians who were all celebrating Rosh Hashanah, the Jewish new year, that night. So there was literally no one in the audience.

The only other performer to show was Carrie, on guitar. And then there was Rosa, on saxophone. Disaster, yes? Disaster, No! Gwen took that little stage and sang the blues with her whole heart, Carrie and Rosa accompanying, for the whole night. The only audience was my camera.

At one point, Carrie hesitated, seeming to think she’d made a mistake.

Gwen, without breaking her stride, said, “Don’t stop,” and continued to sing. Carrie, energized by Gwen, surrendered to the singer and the song.

Together, they made music, wonderful music. So what if the audience failed to materialize? Gwen sang, not for the audience, but for the love of music, because music was her best and highest self. It was a world where all emotions found their proper place, where the largeness of Gwen’s soul had room to roam, where mistakes didn’t stop you and where directions didn’t matter.

Rest in peace, Gwennie. However much we gave you, you gave us more back. Thanks for spending time with us. We were luckier than we knew.

There will be memorial concerts this weekend, Saturday Feb. 22 and Sunday Feb. 23, at the Main Street Station in Guerneville where Gwen used to perform. A tribute will also take place at the Montclair Women’s Cultural Arts Club in Oakland on May 3.

To see a short (14 min.) documentary on Gwen Avery, including footage from the Santa Rosa performance, go to w w w.yout ube.com/ watch?v=eNo1d1ZDJf U. A lso, for more Gwen stories, go to my blog www.terrybaum.blogspot.com.

Terry Baum is a playwright , actress, direct or, t ea ch e r a n d f il mm a k e r. In 2004 , she ran for U.S . Congress on the Green Party ticket and received the highest perce ntage of the vot e of any s m all-pa r t y, w r it e- in ca n di d at e for Congress in history.

BAY T IM ES F EBRUARY 20, 2014

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Own Your Other-worldliness LEO (July 23 – August 22) Let it rest, Leo. As cosmic currents course through your veins, it’s important to balance boosts of energy with bountiful downtime. Practice the art of pausing to catch your breath.

SAGITTARIUS (November 22 – December 21) Have you any childhood fantasies that have since been silenced, Sagittarius? Celestial circumstances are begging you to bring them out from hiding.

Replenish the power of your passions.

TAURUS (April 20 – May 20) As the zodiac’s preeminent poster-child for perseverance, change hasn’t always been your strong suit.

Tides turn, Taurus. Subconscious insights stretch your perspective now. Do yourself a favor, and stay limber.

VIRGO (August 23 – September 22) Mix and mingle, Virgo. The stars are sparkling in your social sector now. Co-creating with your community will kick-start your mood and make a meaningful impact on the world.

CAPRICORN (December 22 – January 19) You’re feeling pressure to leap into a more liberating lifestyle. Have courage, Capricorn. New experiences knock at your door now. Close companions could help you step outside the status quo.

GEMINI (May 21 – June 20) Revive your investments, Gemini. Don’t decrease your odds by spreading your treasures too thin. Foster good fortune by consolidating financial commitments and clearing clutter from your credit statement.

LIBRA (September 23 – October 22) Life’s a balancing act – and nobody appreciates balance like you. Lean into your intuition for helpful guidance. Sizable are the skills of your scales, sweet Libra. Do your thing.

AQUARIUS (January 20 – February 18) What’s the big idea, Aquarius? In your case, there are many. Bold concepts and boisterous opinions bubble inside you now. Talk tactfully. Speak your mind, but don’t be a bulldozer.

ARIES (March 21 – April 19) Update your abode, Aries. The planets are well positioned for you to enjoy a productive purging session and rejuvenate your domestic dwelling. A little feng shui goes a long way. better.

Astrology Gypsy Love At age 64, after 3 decades and 4 failed attempts, Diana Nyad was the first person to swim from Cuba to Florida in under 53 hours without a shark cage.

Defying a team of experts and doctors who deemed her dream impossible, Nyad overcame 110 grueling miles by maintaining her belief that a willful spirit “transcends humanness.” Astro-waves encourage us to consider our metaphysical mantra now. Own your other-worldliness.

CANCER (June 21 – July 22) Nothing ever stays the same, dear Cancer. A native ocean dweller, you actually ride the tide better than most. Invite the ebb and flow. You’re stronger than you think.

Visit www.GypsyLoveProductions.com

SCORPIO (October 23 – November 21) These days, Scorpio, you simultaneously embody the student and the teacher. The best part is, whether you’re bestowing knowledge or absorbing it, you’ll find that each role rewards you abundantly.

PISCES (February 19 – March 20) What do you wish for, Pisces? Astral energies empower you with fortitude and foresight to fulfill your deepest desires. Determine which dreams delight your senses and serve the greater good.

Gypsy Love Productions is dedicated to inspiring love and unity with music, dance, and astrology.

As Heard on the Street . . .

compiled by Rink

AL L PHOTOS BY RIN K

Stu Smith loved to eat out at restaurants. What’s your favorite restaurant to recommend?

18

Reese Isbell

Shaun Haines

Lou Fischer

Cookie Dough

“North Beach Pizza”

“Mi Lindo Peru in Bernal Heights”

“Moki’s in Bernal Heights”

“Espetus on Market Street”

BAY TIMES F EBRUA RY 2 0 , 2 0 1 4

Mark Murphy “The vendors at the Ferry Building”

Deeply Personal, Highly Provocative Facing Fear teenager who has been living on the streets in L.A. after his religious mother kicked him out of her house.

One night, Tim and his friends beat Matthew badly, leaving him for dead.

Yet Matthew survived, and 26 years later, the two men meet again. Tim, now a former Neo-Nazi, has come to speak at the Museum of Tolerance in Los Angeles. Matthew is a manager at the museum.

Film

Gary M. Kramer

A powerful gay-themed film, Facing Fear, has been nominated for an Oscar in the Documentary Short Subject category. Written and directed by Bay Area resident Jason Cohen, the film artfully chronicles the intersecting lives of Tim Zaal and Matthew Boger, two very different men who come from not dissimilar suburban California backgrounds.

Tim is a Neo-Nazi who developed a taste for violence with his skinhead friends, while Matthew is a queer

Cohen, who is straight and Jewish, did not identify with either Tim or Matthew, and his objective perspective gives Facing Fear its strength. The film would have been different if an LGBT filmmaker, who might have created a bias towards the subjects, had made it. As it is, this documentary short is a deeply personal, highly provocative, and extremely inspiring film.

The director explained his purpose and approach to telling the story of Facing Fear in a recent Skype interview with me: “I wanted to explore the idea and process of forgiveness,” he said. “Forgiveness is not a cut and dry issue. I wanted to show that their personal experiences and societal factors were part of the process as they came back into each other’s lives.”

He continued, “I wanted to examine how heroic these gentlemen are, going through their whole lives and coming out where they are now. I don’t think there is closure in Matt or Tim’s life. They have said that the process of forgiveness never ends, even though they are comfortable with each other.” (continued on page 22)

Joey McGuire’s Intoxicating, Masterful Sister Phyliss Withe-Litaday

He has designed makeup and wigs for the Kansas City Lyric Opera, Coterie Children’s Theatre, Civic Opera Theatre of KC, Atlanta Ballet and the UMKC Conservatory of Music and Dance. He has also spent time as a trainer for MAC Cosmetics, and now holds the position of Program Development Manager for Sephora.

Gems of The Bay Kippy Marks

Joey McGuire Her talent is undeniable. The vision of her is incomparable. Her spirit is unforgettable, and her sound is ever intoxicating. Combined with a powerful and masterful way of presenting a tale, a star is born. It is my ultimate pleasure to present to you artist Sister Phyliss Withe-Litaday, aka Joey McGuire.

Joey has performed as an opera singer, appearing with the Lyric Opera of Kansas City, Civic Opera Theatre of KC, and the Inspiration Point Fine Arts Colony. He spent much of that time perfecting his craft as a professional makeup artist, and at one time left performing life behind to work behind the scenes.

Joey likes to take performing opportunities as they come. He loves an open mic night at Martuni’s, or performing at various benefits and events around the city, sometimes as Joey and sometimes as Sister Phyliss Withe-Litaday. He told me, “I am very content with no longer being a professional musician, so that I can take whatever shows appeal to me.”

Born in Ashland, Kentucky, to parents Phyliss and Charles McGuire, Joey was meant to be a performer.

His first experience with music came as a young boy riding in the car with his mother, singing together. Joey says, “I was a huge fan of Star Search, where singers got major applause if they hit any sort of high notes. I also was obsessed with The New Mickey Mouse Club in junior high school, and wanted desperately to audition, but was not allowed.”

In school in Waynesville, Missouri (“Go Tigers!”) Joey delved into music and was an active member in the concert choir, chamber choir and men’s choir. He even helped to teach music appreciation during summer school.

As Joey puts it, “I was a true music nerd.”

He attended the University of Missouri Conservatory of Music. When asked what his most memorable memory in school was, Joey shares, (continued on page 22) BAY T IM ES F EBRUARY 20, 2014

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compiled by Robert Fuggiti

See many more Calendar items @ www.sfbaytimes.com

The Manhattan Transfer will be at Yoshi’s Oakland, February 28 - March 2.

• 20 : T HURSDAY

Bacon, Babes & BINGO – Club 657. $10. 6 pm to 7 pm. (657 Harrison St.) www.baconbabesbin-

go.com. A live game show and BINGO event proudly showcasing.

The Chieftans – Marin Veterans’ Memorial Auditorium. $25-$75. 8 pm. (10 Ave of the Flags, San Rafael) www.tickets.marincenter.org. Six-

time Grammy winners, The Chieftains bring traditional Irish music for an unforgettable performance.

Men at Twerk – Beaux. Free. 9 pm. (2344 Market St.) www. beauxsf.com. Hiphop meets house music at this weekly party.

• 21 : F RIDAY

Erykah Badu DJ Set – 1015 Folsom. $20. 10 pm. (1015 Folsom St.) www.1015folsom.com. Red Bull Music Academy presents DJ Lo Down Loretta Brown, aka Erykah Badu.

Friday Live – El Rio. Free. 10 pm. (3158 Mission St.) www.elriosf.com. Friday Live is a queer dance party with hip hop and house music.

Friday Nights at the de Young – de Young Museum. $11. 6 pm to 8:45 pm. (50 Hagiwara Tea Garden Dr.) www.deyoung.famsf. org. Enjoy the museum in a fun, festive and dynamic atmosphere with live music and cocktails.

• 22 : SATURDAY

Midnight Show – Divas. $10. 10 pm. (1081 Post St.) www.divassf. com. The premier transgender club in San Francisco, with live DJs and performances.

• 23 : S UNDAY

Affinities Exhibit – A Woman’s Eye Gallery. Free. 12 pm to 5 pm.

(678 Portola Dr.) www.awegallery. com. Affinities is a collaborative photo show. It is a playful and challenging exhibit, conceived as an experiment in image presentation.

Through February 26.

Salsa Sundays – El Rio. $10. 3 pm to 8 pm. (3158 Mission St.) www.elriosf.com. Enjoy live music and dancing every second and fourth Sunday.

Shangri-La – Endup. $20. 10 pm to 6 am. (401 6th St.) www.theendup.com. Keep the party going at this monthly dance party.

• 24 : M ONDAY

San Francisco Color Bomb – Union Square. $65. 7 pm. (333 Post St.) www.etickets.to/ buy/?e=11034. A world-renowned marathon that is more of a celebration than a race.

Beatpig – Powerhouse. $5. 9 pm to 2 am. (1347 Folsom St.) www.beatbigsf.com. A kinky party on the third Saturdays of the month.

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The Bay Bridge: A Work in Progress, 1933–1936 – de Young Museum. $25. 9:30 am to 5:15 pm.

(50 Hagiwara Tea Garden Dr.) www.deyoungmuseum.org.

Documenting the original construction of the San Francisco–Oakland Bay Bridge in the 1930s, the exhibition includes 72 photographs, prints and drawings from the Museum’s collection. Through June 8.

Miley Cyrus – Oracle Arena. $27.50. 7 pm. (7000 Coliseum Way, Oakland) www.mileycyrus.com. The irreverent Miley Cyrus performs at the Oracle Arena as part of her Bangerz tour.

Wanted – Q Bar. Free. 10 pm to 2 am. (456 Castro St.) www.sfwanted.com. Enjoy a night of dance and electronic music along with $2 drink specials.

• 25 : T UESDAY

San Francisco Ballet: Program 3 – SF War Memorial Opera House. $22. 8 pm. (301 S. Van Ness) www.sfballet.org.

“Firebird,” “Ghosts,” and “The Kingdom of the Shades” from “La Bayadère,” Act I. Beatbox Country – Beatbox. $6. 6:30 pm. (314 11th St.) www. beatboxsf.com. Country music and dancing every Tuesday night.

Ellen Robinson will perform at the Jazzschool in Berkeley, February 28.

Funny Tuesdays – Harvey’s.

Free. 9 pm. (500 Castro St.) www. harveyssf.com. An LGBT comedy night hosted by Ronn Vigh.

• 26 : W EDNESDAY The Threepenny Opera – The Stage. $17.50-$35. 7:30 pm. (490 S. 1st St.) www.thestage.org. A powerful and evocative musical written

by Bertolt Brecht.

Smack Dab Open Mic Night – Magnet. Free. 8 pm. (4122 18th St.) www.magnetsf.org. An open mic night for all with host Larrybob Roberts.

Play with BeBe – Harvey’s.

Free. 8 pm. (500 Castro St.) www. harveyssf.com. BeBe Sweetbriar hosts a weekly trivia game night with drink specials and prizes.

• 27 : T HURSDAY

Lasso of Truth – Marin Theatre Company. $37-$58. 8 pm. (397 Miller Ave., Mill Valley) www.marintheatre.org. Marin Theater Company presents the world premier of Carson Kreitzer’s Lasso of Truth. Through March 16.

Wendy Colonna – Hotel Utah. $10. 9 pm. (500 4th St.) www.wendycolonna.com. Wendy Colonna is a vocalist performer with an authentic “soulful grit” and natural storytelling ability.

Contemporary Lesbian Fiction Authors – SF Public Library. Free. 6 pm. (100 Larkin St.) www.sfpl.org. This program features Ashely Bartlett, Heather Blackmore, Clifford Henderson, Annameekee Hesik and more.

• 28 : F RIDAY

Ellen Robinson – The Jazzschool. $15. 8 pm. (2087 Addison St., Berkeley) www. jazzschool.org. Jazz vocalist Ellen Robinson performs with The Don’t Wait Too Long Band.

The Manhattan Transfer Yoshi’s Oakland Jazz Club. $47. 8 pm. (510 Embarcadero West) www. yoshis.com. The legendary group celebrates 40 years of incredible vocal jazz. Also March 1 & 2.

Boy Bar – The Café. $5. 9 pm to 2 am. (2369 Market St.) www.guspresents.com. The Castro’s hottest weekly party with go-go dancers and early drink specials.

• 1 : S ATURDAY

Trainwreck Cabaret – The Dark Room. $20. 10 pm. (2263 Mission St.) www.trainwreckcabaret.com. A unique and unusual variety show that showcases a troupe of talented performers.

Mardi Gras Mashquerade – DNA Lounge. $15. 9 pm. (375 11th St.) www.dnalounge.com. Enjoy a Mardi Gras themed night with a variety of dance mash-ups.

Go BANG! – The Stud. $7. 9 pm.

(399 9th St.) www.studsf.com. A monthly disco party with fierce dancers and flashy dressers.

• 2 : S UNDAY

34th Annual Academy Awards Night Gala – Terra Gallery. $350+. 5:30 pm to 11 pm.

(511 Harrison St.) www.terrasf. com. The Academy of Friends presents the 34th Annual Academy Awards Night Gala with ticket sales benefitting HIV/AIDS Services in the San Francisco Bay Area.

Glamazone – The Café. Free. 9 pm to 2 am. (2369 Market St.) www.cafesf.com. Enjoy drink specials during the day and drag performances through the evening.

Jock – Lookout. $2. 3 pm to 9 pm.

(3600 16th St.) www.lookoutsf. com. A weekly fundraising party for Bay Area LGBT sports groups.

• 3 : M ONDAY

Angel Olsen – Great American Music Hall. $15. 8 pm. (859 O’Farrell St.) www.slimspresents. com. Singer Angel Olsen delivers a performance with full-throated exultation, admonition, and bold, expressive melody.

Lesbians Who Tech – Castro Theatre. $95-$299. 6:30 pm. (429 Castro St.) www.lesbianswhotech.org.

Lesbians Who Tech is a global community of over 2,500 queer women in the tech industry.

Nature: Georgia O’Keeffe and Lake George, organized by The Hyde Collection in association with the Georgia O’Keeffe Museum. Through May 11.

So What Do I Do Now – Glen Park Library. Free. 6 pm to 7 pm.

(2825 Diamon St.) www.becklawgroup.com. The Beck Law Group hosts a seminar designed to give tips and tools to executors and trustees.

Meditation Group – San Francisco Public Library. Free. 12 pm to 12:45 pm. (100 Larkin St.) www.sfpl.org. Weekly meditation.

Piano Bar 101 – Martuni’s. Free. “Lasso of Truth” will be at the Marin Theatre through March 16.

9 pm. (4 Valencia St.) www.dragatmartunis.com. Sing along to your favorite songs with friends.

• 4 : T UESDAY

GGBA Business Exchange Network – Castro Community Room. Free for members. 11 am.

(501 Castro St.) www.ggba.org. An exclusive group designed to help members grow their referral-based business, develop professional relationships and expand networks.

Trivia Night – Hi Tops. Free. 10 pm. (2247 Market St.) www. hitopssf.com. Test your trivia knowledge at this sports bar.

Block Party – Midnight Sun. Free. 9 pm. (4067 18th St.) www. midnightsunsf.com. Enjoy weekly screenings of favorite music videos.

• 5 : W EDNESDAY

Georgia O’Keeffe and Lake George – de Young Museum. $25.

9:30 am to 5:15 pm. (50 Hagiwara Tea Garden Dr.) www.deyoungmuseum.org. Presenting Modern BAY T IM ES F EBRUARY 20, 2014

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(DO ASK, DO TELL continued from page 3) Overcoming rivalry for a common it. I feel like we have perfect opporcause, she was joined by Mikayla tunities as student-athletes at some of Lyles of Cal in her efforts to start a top schools in the country. Athletics dialogue around these issues. To- still has to catch up with the rest of gether, they created a pair of panel campus and the rest of the world.” discussions entitled We A.R.E. (Athletes Reaching Equality) on support I applaud Michael, Toni and Mikayla for LGBT inclusion in sports that for the courage to step forward and took place at the Cal and Stanford bring a voice to an issue that is still campuses in late January. In Koke- present for the LGBT community. nis’ own words: “Silence isn’t equal Even if you are not an athlete, you to acceptance. The only way to make should care about what is occurring sports more accepting is to talk about on our campuses and our playing

fields because, like the military, if you break down such barriers, you open up conversations all across America and the world about what it means to be LGBT. Zoe Dunning is a retired Navy Commander and was a lead activist in the repeal of Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell. She currently serves as the 1st Vice Chair of the San Francisco Democratic Party and is Co-Chair of the Board of Directors for the Alice B. Toklas LGBT Democratic Club.

(ROSTOW continued from page 7) mophobic goings on in Nigeria and Uganda. Ditto discussion of antigay policies in Russia. It’s too much. And plus, I already covered the Nigerian woman who kicked her gay cat out of the house last time around, so it’s not as if a provincial attitude colors every column.

As far as the Olympics are concerned, here are my impressions: First, I thought the American snowboarder who won gold in slope style

could have taken the gum out of his mouth on the podium and tried to be slightly more coherent. Second, I do not understand how NBC is running their coverage, because I keep seeing the same event over and over. I feel as if I saw the men’s short program five times. Also, Brian Williams keeps announcing results on the evening news that have not been aired in prime time. Third, I felt badly for Bob Costas. That was gross. Fourth, there’s a maniac covering the laborious cross country skiing who gets hysterically

(SISTER DANA continued from page 16) CORONATION 49 – “A KILL - 5-11:30 pm at Terra Gallery on OsER VIEW” A N EVENING OF car Night. This marks the 34th AnINTER NATIONA L M YSTERY nual Academy Awards Night Gala BOND STYLE is the biggest night with ticket sales benef itting HIV/ of the year for Imperials as they cel- AIDS services in the SF Bay Area. ebrate the reigning monarchs’ step- Amusements abound as your world down on Saturday February 22nd. transforms into an adventure over the This glamorous event will be held rainbow to the Emerald City while at the Design Center Galleria, 101 f lying monkeys, witches, wizards, Henry Adams Street. imperialcoun- munchkins, Dorothy and friends will keep you entertained. Watch cilsf.org. the Oscars broadcast on big-screen, Walk the red carpet of the glorious sample delicious bites from local resCastro Theater on February 24th, taurants and caterers, while sipping 7pm, with the best and the bright- champagne, wine, and mixed drinks. est stars of the nightlife industry and Tix, info at (415) 995-9890 or Acadhonor the finest in nightclubs, bars, emyOfFriends.org. bartenders, and 20 other categories at THE NITEYS. To cast your votes Golden Globe Award winner Matand/or for tickets and more info: nit- thew McConaughey (Mud, Magic Mike) delivers a career-def ining eyawards.com. performance as Texas cowboy Ron ACADEMY OF FRIENDS pres- Woodroof along with Golden Globe ents RETURN TO THE EMER- Award winner Jared Leto in drag ALD CITY on Sunday, March 2nd, (both are up for Oscars) in the huge-

(FACING FEAR continued from page 19) Facing Fear is also notable for how it of a hate crime, to provide other exis constructed. Cohen wisely eschews amples of gay bullying and bashing. using a narrator, letting each man al- The f ilmmaker acknowledged, “I ternate telling his story before their wanted to explore what has been gounexpected reunion. As such, view- ing on with bullying and bring it to ers clearly understand why Tim be- the forefront.” came involved with the skinheads, and how Matthew, who was bullied Cohen mentions a recent incident in in school, ended up eking out a life on the Bay Area, in which an asexual high school student, Luke “Sasha” the streets.

Fleischman, had their skirt set on fire Cohen observed, “Tim and Mat- on a city bus. “That really hit home thew’s lives went in divergent paths, for me,” the filmmaker said. and we wanted them to have a conFacing Fear can educate students about versation—playing them off each bullying and hate. The documentary other. They are two trains on a col- is expected to show at schools, unilision course, and then we see the af- versities, museums and institutions termath.” where there can be dialogues about As such, the film addresses issues of class, race, education, religion, and sexuality, as well as themes of guilt, shame, and bullying. Tim’s attack on Matthew, Cohen explained, “took place in the 1980s, when there was no such thing as a ‘hate crime.’ It was a gay bashing. Today if it had happened, it would have been looked at differently.”

Facing Fear includes a reference to Matthew Shepard, another victim

promoting love and forgiveness.

Perhaps the most chilling moment in the documentary is in the museum when Tim admits to Matthew that he knows who he is before Matthew realizes their shared history. One of the most poignant moments has Matthew stating that forgiving Tim was the only way he could get past the incident from his youth.

“Making the f ilm, I had to think about how I would react in that situa-

excited when someone increases their speed by what seems to me an imperceptible degree. Fifth, I do not understand why some individual skaters select discordant music rather than beautiful lyrical pieces. It’s like they’re unnecessarily undermining their performance.

I don’t know. I’m sort of over it until the hockey finals and the women’s figure skating. arostow@aol.com

ly entertaining DA L L AS BU YERS CLUB, the inspiring and powerful story of an imperfect man’s fight for survival during an uncertain time of AIDS in America. It kind of reminds me of the very early days of Project Inform. Brilliantly directed

by Jean-Marc Vallée (The Young Victoria), Dallas Buyers Club is now on Blu-ray DVD and On Demand f rom Un iver sa l St ud ios Home Entertainment. I highly recommend this movie.

Pornucopia: this week’s f lick pick (not an Oscar nominee) is Full Release, for a great “massage,” hothouse.com.

Sister Dana sez, “I want to nominate crazy Repugnican Tea Party Senator Ted Cruz for his Oscar winning coo coo performances in Congress that will surely garner Democratic votes nationwide!”

tion, and I really don’t know,” Cohen admitted candidly. “I don’t know that I could forgive. The only way to know is to be [Matthew] and go through his experiences. Matthew has said throughout this—forgive but never forget. What happened is part of who he is and it shaped him. It’s an awful circumstance, but it’s his life’s fabric.

He has used it to his advantage.”

Cohen is happy that his film has generated such conversation topics, and that it has been nominated for an Oscar. The nomination will expose the film to a wide audience. “It’s a huge boost, and hopefully, it will continue to blossom from there,” he stated optimistically.

As for winning the gold statute, “We’ll see what happens,” Cohen said cautiously, as if not to jinx anything. © 2014 Gary M. Kramer Gary M. Kramer is the author of “Independent Queer Cinema: Reviews and Interviews,” and the co-editor of “Directory of World Cinema: Argentina.” You can follow him on Twitter @garymkramer.

(JOEY MCGUIRE continued from page 19) “There are lots, from high school choir trips on very uncomfortable buses, to hours of rehearsals. But I think the moment that sticks out most was finishing my first major role in an opera, standing on stage and thinking, “Holy sh*t! I can actually do this.”

22

BAY TIMES F EBRUA RY 2 0 , 2 0 1 4

Joey currently is working on several projects. He is formulating a brilliant performance set for Easter in the Park with the Sisters of Perpetual Indulgence and hopes to be a headliner on the main stage for this year’s SF Pride.

Joey will also be a featured artist at the Gems of the Bay Concert Series taking place at Martuni’s, date TBA.

You can learn more about Joey McGuire/Sister Phyliss Withe-Litaday at www.facebook.com/sisterphyliss.

Violinist Kippy Marks entertains audiences worldwide with his inspirational compositions and lively performances that draw from classical, jazz, blues and dance. http:// www.kippy marks.us

Brown was surrounded by VIP’s attending the ceremony, held on Treasure Island, to rename the Bay Bridge’s western span in honor of him.

P HOTO BY RIN K

P HOTO BY P HY L L IS C O STA

P HOTO B Y P H Y L L IS C O STA

Round About – All Over Town

Steve Gaynes and Ron Willis of Via Media at GGBA’s February Make Contact.

P HOTO BY RIN K

P HOTO BY RIN K

Former Mayor Willie Brown addresses the crowd on Treasure Island.

REAF’s Ken Henderson, GGBA’s Jason Holstein and Via Media’s Steve Gaynes at the February Make Contact.

PHOTO BY RIN K

The number of women attending GGBA’s monthly networking event is growing - as noted in the group photo taken at the recent February Make Contact event held at A.C.T. Theater.

PHOTO BY R IN K

PHOTO BY MI CHAE L M ICAEL / DAVID PERRY & ASSOCIATES

GGBA president Eric Goforth and GGBA membership and events coordinator Lu Xun at the February Make Contact event.

City Treasurer Jose Cisneros and Senator Mark Leno with Gyro Xpress’ co-owner Cem Bulutaglm at the new restaurant’s grand opening at Castro and Market.

PHOTO BY R INK

David Perry (right) and Alfredo Casuso (left), coexecutors of the Thomas M. Dross Estate, joined with representatives from designated AIDS/HIV organizations. Included were the AIDS Emergency Fund, AIDS Interfaith Chapel at Grace Cahtedral, Clinica Esperanza, Desert AIDS Project, FamilyLink, Food for Thought, Mazzoni LGBT Center, Openhouse, Richmond/Ermet AIDS Foundation, SF AIDS Foundation and San Francisco LGBT Aging Policy Task Force Outreach Report.

Supervisor Scott Wiener, Castro Merchants President Terry Austin Bennett, Small Business Owners’ Steve Adams and Gyro Xpress co-owner Kocar Salgut at the restaurant’s grand opening.

PH OTO B Y R I NK

PH OTO B Y R I NK

The annual Girl Scout Cookies table has been warmly welcomed at Harvey Milk Plaza in the Castro.

Artist Christopher Winslow displays his work, now showing at Magnet.

PH OTO B Y R IN K

PHOTO BY R I NK

P HOTO BY RI N K

Host Tab Buckner (center) welcomed Kleyton Jones and Nikos Diaman to the Beatles 50th Anniversary Party celebrating the Fab Four’s first appearance in the US.

David Smith enjoyed Beatles videos, music posters and decorations at the Bay Times columnists Gypsy Love and Kippy Marks enter- 50th Anniversary Party. tained at Gyro Xpress’ grand opening.

BAY T IM ES F EBRUARY 20, 2014

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Honoring the Legacy of Stu Smith Today we mourn the loss of one of the most compassionate and beloved members of our community, Stu Smith. He left behind an inimitable legacy of lives touched, and he was a pillar of love and strength to so many here in the Bay Area who survived the AIDS epidemic of the 80’s and 90’s.

Our most heart-felt prayers and thoughts go out to his partner Dave and his family.

You can honor his legacy by giving to the Stu Smith Memorial Fund, created by his partner and family. The fund is dedicated to the work he loved at Shanti Project. To donate, go to: www.shanti.og