Sharp ME by Sharp Magazine

DRIVEN TO

ACTION

GETTING SPORTY WITH A FERRARI

LO O K B ET T E R • F E E L B E TTE R • K N OW M O R E MIDDLE EAST

SHARPMAGAZINE.COM

M AY /J U N E 2 0 1 5

JIMMY FALLON

AND THE ART OF LATE NIGHT TV

100 YEARS

IN MEMORY

ARMENIAN

JAY

ABDO

ON HIS EXTRAORDINARY HOLLYWOOD BREAKTHROUGH THE SHARP LIST

ULTIMATE ESSENTIALS FOR MEN

1.5 MILLION LIVES

6291100752782

PAGE 104

THE WORLD CRIES OUT OVER THE MASSACRES OF

AED 20

MIDDLE EAST

PUBLISHING PUBLISHER & EDITOR-IN-CHIEF

Adel Habib PUBLISHER

Sam Farhang

EDITORIAL Maan Hamzi Vivek S ASSISTANT EDITOR Helen Ramsey COPY EDITOR Jyoti Dhawale FASHION EDITOR Emma Yazbek AUTOMOTIVE EDITOR Liam Nelson GRAPHIC DESIGNERS Hany Said CREATIVE ARTIST Juanito Tuazon MANAGING EDITOR

ART DIRECTOR

CONTRIBUTORS WRITERS

Ariel Adams, Ward Anderson, Matt Bubbers, Matt Currie, Craig Davidson, Yang Yi Goh, Greg Hudson, Scott Kramer, Coleman Molnar, Grace O’Connell, Jonathan Poon, Michael Rowe, Renée Suen, Bianca Teixeira, Chris Turner, Bob Stall PHOTOGRAPHERS

Malek Al Fayoumi, Abbigail Kemp, Natali Leonova

A WORD FROM OUR PUBLISHER LOOK BETTER, FEEL BETTER, KNOW MORE

CONTRIBUTING PHOTOGRAPHERS

Adrian Armstrong, Matt Barnes, Matt Mitchell CONTRIBUTING STYLISTS

Estevan Ramos, Randy Smith, Lee Sullivan

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By now, you should be well acquainted with our way: Sharp is all about making statements. We have established our credo in the fashion arena but there’s more to talk about than just being stylish. In this issue, we shed light on the Armenian Genocide, which marked its centennial commemoration this year. In 1915, more than two million innocent lives were tortured and exiled, the majority murdered. It would be the first ethnic cleansing of the 21st century, unfortunately, with many others to follow. We hope that we learn from the past; and as members of the human race, we resolve our conflicts and embrace a more harmonious future with one another. Our cover features the remarkable Jay Abdo, who has transformed his life and is now in the Hollywood limelight. His story is truly inspirational as he has struggled to accomplish his ambitions. We have packed this issue with more inspiring stories. We revisit the life of the legendary musician, Munir Bashir, who took the oud to another level, while the Emirati sportsman Ahmad Al Fahim brings a new meaning to the word ‘balance’ in his daily selfmotivational routine. And there’s more to keep you going. As the weather warms up, you’ll want to look sharper than ever. From cool-cut jackets and groovy shirts, to smart-casual attire and must-have eyewear that are perfect for summery outings, we are confident you are going to make a statement in your social sphere. Enjoy Sharp. With many thanks,

PO Box 32958 Dubai, UAE Tel : +971 4 324 0355

Adel Habib Publisher

Fax : +971 4 324 0354 info@oryxgulfmedia.ae VOLUME 2 | ISSUE 3 | MAY/JUNE 2015

LETTERS TO THE EDITOR info@oryxgulfmedia.ae

WRITE US AT

SHARP (CANADA) John McGouran Geoffrey Dawe CREATIVE DIRECTOR Michael La Fave EDITOR-IN-CHIEF Greg Hudson PUBLISHER

DIRECTOR OF INTEGRATED PARTNERSHIPS

Sharp Middle East is published six times per year by Oryx Live, Dubai, UAE, and by permission of Contempo Media Inc, Toronto, Canada. No part of this publication may be copied or reprinted without the written consent of the publisher. The views expressed by the contributors are not necessarily those of the publisher, editor or staff. Sharp does not take any responsibility for unsolicited manuscripts or photography.

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MIDDLE EAST

CONTENTS MAY/JUNE 2015 | VOLUME 2 | ISSUE 3

FEATURES 88

DRIVEN TO SUCCESS

An Emirati sportsman on the move in one of the most coveted wheels on the planet, the Ferrari California T.

THE ARMENIAN GENOCIDE

The world commemorates the first genocide of the 21st century when 1.5 million Armenians were slaughtered by the Ottomans.

104

JAY ABDO

He’s famous for his roles in Syrian dramas. But since losing his fortunes while fleeing his war-torn homeland, he’s on the rise again. This time, it’s Hollywood.

114

ECONOMY

The Gulf region has been witnessing an increased number of job opportunities and rising salaries. Now the world is headed this way.

118

JIMMY FALLON

On The Tonight Show, Jimmy can’t stop cracking up. Behind the scenes, he’s all business. Being king of late night is no laughing matter.

124

EXPERIENCES

Braving the wild at a beach in search of absolute serenity.

126

MOVIE SEQUELS

Cinematic creativity? Forget it. Sequels, reboots and remakes are the new normal in Hollywood. Your guide to surviving the followup fever - with a vengeance.

134

AMANDA CREW

148

THE SHARP LIST

We salute the summer with all things stylish, cool and generally amazing.

14 SHARP MIDDLE EAST MAY/JUNE 2015

P H O T O : K E V I N G O N S A LV E S

She may look flawlessly cool, but don’t you dare call her Crew that. The Silicon Valley star insists she’s both awkward and nerdy. And she can prove it.

MIDDLE EAST

CONTENTS MAY/JUNE 2015 | VOLUME 2 | ISSUE 3

FASHION 140

THE DAPPER SPORTSMAN On The Killing, Joel Kinnaman solves complex murder cases. Who better to crack the mystery of mixing sportswear and suits?

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MIDDLE EAST

CONTENTS MAY/JUNE 2015 | VOLUME 2 | ISSUE 3

GUIDE 32

PAGE

THE PERFECT HAT

It made Bogart look suave, and the fedora is still stylish.

ADVICE

Chuck Palahniuk thinks men don’t read anymore. To fix this, he’s reconvened the Fight Club.

BOOKS

James Grainger’s debut novel, Harmless, is a tense lesson on how, well, harmless some men have become.

MUSIC

The Alabama Shakes are being hailed as saviours of the Southern sound. They’re having none of it.

He is the one and only true master of oud, transcending the horizons of eastern sounds.

In praise of San Francisco, the undisputed capital of digital innovation, arresting views and really fine coffee.

MUNIR BASHIR

WOMEN

ESCAPE

Street art is taking over Dubai. Interestingly, none of it is on the street.

You spend approximately a third of your life sleeping. It’s time to do it right.

One Beirut-based artist is spreading his vintage styles, futuristic elements and urban influences in interior designs.

After failing to take off in the ’90s, virtual reality could be the way of the future once again.

DESIGN

FOOD

Sweaty armpits are not cool. So make sure you read this.

TRAVEL

Carlson Young is one of TV’s funniest young stars. So what is she doing in a Scream reboot?

CULTURE

GROOMING

Wildlife adventures on an Abu Dhabi island.

HEALTH

TECH

CARS

Spring is weather Russian roulette. You’d do well to consider this season’s best coats and jackets.

JACKETS

HEROES OF MENSWEAR

Lacoste’s creative director Felipe Oliveira Baptista has ushered the brand into the future, with an eye on the past.

TRENDS

This season is just groovy, man.

TIMEPIECES

STYLE

This year, the best watches have come out of Baselworld as updated classics.

Smart shoes that are so suited for the moment.

Come rain or shine, nothing beats the classy Spring look.

THE MOST AWESOME CARS

Your spring-cleaning checklist should include an update of your garage, too. Consider an addition from McLaren, Audi, Land Rover or Aston Martin.

ROLLS-ROYCE GHOST SERIES II

This is pure indulgence of genius mechanics and tasteful art fused together.

STANDARDS 20

ONLINE

PRE-RAMBLE

Burgers delivered in artistic flair, and Caucasian cuisine charm local connoisseurs.

SOLE SEARCHING

161

A pilot takes a watchmaker’s story from Switzerland to the Gulf flying through 22 cities

Shirts with painted stripes, geometric shapes and nature scenes are the style of the season.

Spectacles are on-trend this season. Yes, glasses do make you look smarter.

162

EXPEDITION

PRINTS

18 SHARP MIDDLE EAST MAY/JUNE 2015

CASUAL CHIC

EYEWEAR

MAN ABOUT TOWN BRAND DIRECTORY RANK & FILE

ONLINE

Exclusively at SHARPMAGAZINE.COM SHARPMAGAZINE.COM is now better than ever. It’ll still be the best place for you to satisfy all your Sharp cravings between issues: the latest in style, cars, gear and culture. More streamlined, with more stories, interviews and amazing photography, more often. Here are some new features you can look forward to.

THE NBA’S BEST AND WORST DRESSED SUPERMODELS TO FOLLOW ON INSTAGRAM Use the most voyeuristic (we mean “artistic”?) of all social media to its fullest potential by liking every one of these photos.

13 WAYS TO WEAR WHITE The hardest colour to wear isn’t a colour at all. We bring you some style inspiration to lighten up your wardrobe.

THE 2015 GUIDE TO BETTER BIKING Time to move the stationary bike back to the basement and get outside. Everything you need to bike safer, faster, smarter and with more style right now.

20 SHARP MIDDLE EAST MAY/JUNE 2015

Today’s NBA stars have enough swagger to take some serious sartorial risks. Not all are slam dunks but – well, we’re out of basketball puns. Just click through the slideshow.

PRE l RAMBLE Where Are They Now?

SNL Cowbell Sketch Edition Because we know you’ve been asking

JIMMY FALLON:

Became the host of The Tonight Show; landed on the cover of this magazine.

WILL FERRELL:

Starring this summer in Get Hard with Kevin Hart; co-founder of Funny or Die; comedy legend.

THE COOLEST CREWS (UNRANKED)

Some you want to be in. Some you want to run with. All of them are cool

CHRIS PARNELL:

Played a series of memorable TV characters, including Dr. Spacemon on 30 Rock and Cyril Figgis on Archer.

American Crew

J.Crew

BUZZ WO R D T H AT WILL TAKE OVER H O L LY W O O D :

“THE PRE-BOOT” A hybrid of a prequel and a reboot wherein we re-start an existing franchise by going back to tell the story of how said franchise began. Example: Casino Royale, Mad Max Fury Road

We all know the first rule of Fight Club. But there are other rules — a whole list of them. Here are some standouts in case you’ve forgotten:

8 17

NO MAN BUNS.

CHRISTOPHER WALKEN:

HORATIO SANZ:

Lost a lot of weight. Appears in small, forgettable movies every once in a while.

He was already famous.

All Mission Impossible movies ranked

On a scale of Tom Cruise’s hair. Here’s hoping they hired a good stylist for the fifth installment. 1

CHRIS KATTAN:

Literally, no one knows what happened to Chris Kattan.

Terry Crewes

MEMBERS WILL ALTERNATE BRINGING ORANGE SLICES ON A WEEKLY BASIS.

KNOW YOUR MONGER

Penelope Cruz

NO TEXTING ABOUT FIGHT CLUB.

A glossary of the English language’s greatest-sounding (and leastunderstood) suffix

2 Live Crew

NO TALKING ABOUT FIGHT CLUB. REALLY.

Mötley Crüe

[AHY-ERN-MUHNG-GER, -MONG-]

Speed 2: Cruise Control

Someone who sells you hardware.

COSTERMONGER [FISH-MUHNG-GER, -MONG-]

Someone who sells you fruits and vegetables. 4

Jabbawockeez

WARMONGER

[WAWR-MUHNG-GER, -MONG-]

Someone who sells you war.

22 SHARP MIDDLE EAST MAY/JUNE 2015

PARKING WILL NOT BE VALIDATED.

FISHMONGER

Someone who sells you fish.

64 71

[FISH-MUHNG-GER, -MONG-]

IRONMONGER

Amanda Crew

WE CAN’T STRESS THIS ENOUGH: NO TALKING ABOUT FIGHT CLUB.

MAN ABOUT TOWN l MIDDLE EAST

GO WITH THE FLOW

MAN ABOUT TOWN DUBAI

eox, the Italian brand recognised for making trendy ‘breathable’ shoes, hosted a sunset cocktail event along with Mahmoud Sidane, the fashion blogger popularly known as Mr Moudz. Guests gathered at the Mercury Lounge in Dubai’s Four Seasons Hotel – an amazing rooftop setting offering panoramic views of the city’s skyline – to celebrate Geox’s CEO and founder Mario Moretti Polegato’s visit to Dubai after five years. While DJ Shef Codes spun the decks to a pulsating beat, the crowd mixed and mingled and, best of all, were treated to their own pair of GEOX shoes customised with their initials. The brand’s newly launched stylish and comfortable Spring Summer collection for men and women was also on display during the event, with a focus on Nebula, the most innovative product of the collection.

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MAN ABOUT TOWN l MIDDLE EAST

MAN ABOUT TOWN ABU DHABI

WHEN THE SUN GOES DOWN

ris Sundown, one of Abu Dhabi’s most anticipated music events, marked its final event of the season at Yas Island. The evening featured the acclaimed sounds of popular Romanian DJ Adrian Eftimie – known for his hit single “No Side Effect” – who performed one of his latest music sets. From sunset till late, revellers enjoyed the electric beats and an action-packed programme of musical treats, kicking off with resident DJ maDjam from White Dubai. After four widely successful Sundown events this season - with major headliners including Henry Saiz, Hunter/Game and Lee Burridge – there’s already talk about an exciting line-up coming later this year.

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MAN ABOUT TOWN l MIDDLE EAST

ESPANA, POR FAVOR

LET THE GAMES BEGIN

atch out rugby fans: this venue is all game. Sports enthusiasts recently gathered at the newly renovated Nezesaussi Sports Bar at Manzil Downtown Dubai to celebrate its reopening. Counting down to one of the most important football matches of the season, guests mingled, while sampling mouth-watering selections from the menu and enjoying the lively ambiance of the cheerful crowd. This was the perfect start to a long season of sports ahead. With 19 screens throughout the venue, and good pub grub, you’ve got no excuse to miss out on the UEFA Champions League, Rugby 7’s or NBA playoffs.

he eponymous eatery from Spain’s renowned two-Michelin star chef, P&C by Sergi Arola, is adding another dimension to Abu Dhabi’s increasing gastronomy choice. The restaurant, which opened in April at the Shangri-La Qaryat Al Beri, Abu Dhabi, has rolled out a fresh approach to its Mediterranean cuisine, complemented by a selection of beverages and jazz sounds. Taking the Spanish sharing concept of tapas, Arola’s eclectic menu comprises cultural experiences and provides a broad selection of taste sensations prepared with Mediterranean flair and the freshest ingredients. Expect to see Sergi’s take on classic dishes, such as patatas bravas, and adaptions of rice dishes, paella and risottos.

MAN ABOUT TOWN ABU DHABI

MAN ABOUT TOWN DUBAI

28 SHARP MIDDLE EAST MAY/JUNE 2015

MAY/JUNE 2015 SHARP MIDDLE EAST 29

MAN ABOUT TOWN l MIDDLE EAST

MAN ABOUT TOWN DUBAI

STYLE OF THE SEASON

erluti’s artistic director Alessandro Sartori treated Dubai guests to an intimate soirée featuring the Parisbased brand’s latest fashion styles. Guests were privileged to attend the special preview of the Spring Summer 2015 collection, presented and styled by the designer himself. The event, held at CUT by Wolfgang Puck at The Address Downtown Dubai, revealed the lightness and relaxed functionality of the season’s major style highlights and bespoke designs.

ART OF HOSPITALITY

he five-star Pullman hotel, which recently opened at Jumeirah Lakes Towers in Dubai, celebrated its launch with artistic flair. Dubbed the Pullman ArtNight, a new concept from Accor’s upscale international hotel chain, the occasion hosted curated art by The Domino, who personally introduced guests to the property’s vivacious hospitality. Themed in black and white, the night welcomed guests with moving statues lining the lobby, before being transported to the art venue at Seasons and La Vue restaurants, where artists created live art on windows, and against a moving projection. People were also invited to leave their marks on a social art piece, which remained at the hotel, while they also left messages on a living canvas before being treated to a feast of food art created by the hotel’s Executive Chef Stephen Agius and his team.

MAN ABOUT TOWN DUBAI

MAKING GOOD TIME

The famous Bollywood actor Abhishek Bachchan recently flew into Kuwait City to attend the official opening of Morad Yousuf Behbehani’s third mono-brand Omega boutique at 360 Mall. As the Swiss watchmaker’s brand ambassador, Bachchan was hosted along with Omega’s vice president and head of international sales, Raynald Aeschlimann, and joined by Ali Morad Behbehani, president of the Kuwait-based company, during the ribbon-cutting ceremony. Guests were invited into the boutique where they had the opportunity to explore an exclusive collection of watches and fine jewellery. The Kuwait retail market has long been a favourite for manufacturers of upscale watches and high-end jewellery who have firmly set their sights on this oil-rich state. Kuwaitis have long enjoyed a tradition and appreciation for luxury goods and have helped spur the growing interest in luxury watch brands.

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GUIDE LOOK BETTER FEEL BETTER KNOW MORE

THE PERFECT HAT

BORSALINO (AED 1,100)

elt fedoras have had a major comeback. And we mean major. Like, Stallone and Arnie in their actionpacked Expendables series. Or Eric Clapton with his bestselling acoustic Unplugged album released in 1992 after a

32 SHARP MIDDLE EAST MAY/JUNE 2015

relatively unimpressive decade. Not since the late ’50s have widebrimmed dress hats been such a necessity in your wardrobe. Given how flattering they look atop just about every face shape, it’s hard to understand why

they ever went away at all. Invest in the best. Borsalino’s been in the millinery game for over 150 years, crafting fur felt fedoras for guys like Humphrey Bogart, Robert Redford, Paul Newman and Federico Fellini.

GUIDE l A MAN WORTH LISTENING TO charismatic leader who steps in and says, “You don’t know what to do. So, do this.” Tyler is pretty much the universal trickster character. In Norse mythology that was Odin, in GrecoRoman mythology it was Hermes, in Native American culture it was Coyote. Every culture has a kind of trickster character that comes in and stirs the shit and upsets people, but also brings them enlightenment.

CHUCK PALAHNIUK IS STILL FIGHTING THE GOOD FIGHT BY ALEX NINO GHECIU

HE FIRST RULE of interviewing Chuck Palahniuk is: you talk about Fight Club. Of course you do. The author’s era-defining novel-turned-movie, which stirred much debate over the crisis of masculinity in the late ’90s, still inspires obsessive analysis to this day. So it’s shocking that Palahniuk has decided to break the first rule of a cult classic: don’t risk sullying its legacy by adding to it. He’s penned both a Fight Club prequel—a short story, “Expedition,” in his new book Make Something Up: Stories You Can’t Unread—and an upcoming sequel, Fight Club 2, in the form of a graphic novel. If it ain’t broke, keep beating it into a bloody pulp. Of course, Palahniuk has done other things over the past couple decades. His confrontational writing style has fuelled 13 more best-selling novels, several of which (Choke, Rant, Invisible Monsters) have become movies. But it’s still the swaggering gospel of Tyler Durden, the Fight Club narrator’s übermensch alter ego who critiques our capitalist-driven 34 SHARP MIDDLE EAST MAY/JUNE 2015

Above: Movie stills from Fight Club

So, a Fight Club prequel and a sequel? That’s brave. Haven’t you seen The Phantom Menace or Speed 2? Your legacy is at stake here. You know, I never thought I’d have to talk about it for the rest of my life. So, I thought I should expand the story. Because, as it is, it’s a limited subject. And, also, because the book really trashes fathers. So I wanted to see the narrator, 10 years later, as a father himself, doing an even worse job than he had perceived his own father doing. I didn’t want him to get away so scot-free. And because Fight Club had a happy ending, and I really don’t believe in happy endings. I think that the moment after that happy ending just comes more nonsense. And by that you mean more Tyler Durden? Well, writing the sequel, I didn’t want Tyler to just be this unexplained aberration that occurred at this magic moment in this man’s life. I wanted to have flashbacks in the sequel, the graphic novel, where we’d see Tyler playing the same role in the lives of the narrator’s father, his grandfather and his great grandfather. He’s been the best friend that’s been unspoken about

in every generation of his family. The narrator even knew Tyler as a child. And, in the sequel, he realises his own child knows things that only Tyler could’ve told him. Do you think every man is doomed to replay his father’s life? I don’t think so. But I think that if you come from a family where the father has been absent for several generations, then there are very few fathering skills left. Very little to pass on. My father never knew his father. I can forgive him for not being the ideal father because he really didn’t have any model in his life. Once it’s gone for a few generations, it’s tough to bring it back.

Below: Chuck Palahniuk

You recently pointed to the fact that Fight Club is taught in universities as a sign of the lack of new social models for men in literature nowadays. Can you expand on what you meant by that? Well, the last unique social model I remember that showed men coming together to talk about their experiences was Dead Poets Society. And it’s so similar to Fight Club because it’s about a charismatic guy who comes into a group and he reminds all these guys about their mortality. He says, “You are going to die.” And he gives them a kind of model for going underground at night, but instead of fighting, they just read poetry. In a way, Dead Poets Society was Fight Club lite. But since then, I’ve not really seen any new books or media depicting social models for men to get together and talk about or process their stuff. At the same time, I’ve seen dozens of terrific books about women getting together. Divine

In Fight Club, you wrote about the absence of male role models in our society. Do you still see this problem today? I’d say it’s worse now. Joseph Campbell, the anthropologist, used to talk about the role of the secondary father. There’d be the biological father, who could take the son to a certain point in development, but after that there had to be a teacher or a clergyman or a drill sergeant or a coach, some secondary father who wasn’t related to the son, who could discipline the son to adulthood. But those secondary fathers are really dropping by the wayside. People really don’t think about priests in a nurturing way anymore. Males are leaving teaching and there’s just so much nervousness around sexual predation that secondary fathers are just avoiding that role. So what’s a boy to do? Well, once the vacuum is there, and has been there for generations, then you get Tyler Durden—a kind of fascist, MAY/JUNE 2015 SHARP MIDDLE EAST 35

GUIDE l A MAN WORTH LISTENING TO Secrets of the Ya-Ya Sisterhood, Joy Luck Club, How to Make an American Quilt – these are all big, successful novels, and they all depict women coming together in a process that allows them to talk about their experience with their peers. I think Fight Club is one of the very few male social model pieces of media that’s been around. That’s why it’s taught. There’s just not a lot of competition.

THE SHARP CULTURAL EQUATION:

CHUCK PALAHNIUK

BRETT EASTON ELLIS

CHARLES BUKOWSKI

PORTLANDIA

GEORGE LUCAS

36 SHARP MIDDLE EAST MAY/JUNE 2015

Why do you think there’s such a dearth of material dealing with men’s issues? Because men don’t read. Reading’s no longer a guy thing. There are a million forms of media that serve guys better than books—gaming, porn, sports, television. If the audience is not there, what’s the point of writing those things? There’s not a lot of money to be made there. Men don’t read? But men are reading this! To be fair, though, a lot of my guy friends don’t read books. There’s a whole school of thought about this. There’s a fantastic book called The Program Era by Mark McGurl. It’s about how writing workshops, and graduates of writing programs, have shaped fiction since the 1940s. It’s kind of blunted fiction, making it less extreme and more banal. People are writing for these standardized workshop ideals that make everybody in the workshop happy and get you an A. The most extreme writing is excluded from these workshops. Yeah, a lot of your work veers towards the extreme and gruesome. Why? Well, I think there’s just so much banality in our popular culture. I turn on the television and I’m not really surprised or shocked by anything. Everything is so watered down to appeal to the largest audience possible, so the sponsor can sell as many products as possible. I can be bored

with everything else in the world. I don’t want to be bored by what I do for a living. You mentioned earlier that you don’t believe in happy endings. But in Make Something Up, the story “Zombie” took me by surprise. It starts off with your typical dark humour and cynicism, only to reject all that in favour of tear-jerking optimism: existential bliss brought forth by a sense of community. Last year, I made a New Year’s resolution that every story I wrote was going to have a happy ending. Initially, “Zombie” ended with the narrator sitting in a toilet stall lobotomising himself. The end. And then I carried it around for a couple weeks and I thought, “You know, that’s bullshit. I can take this story further.” I wasn’t very good at happy endings. I’d gotten really good at conflicted, sad endings. I think it’s like a muscle; you’ve got to build it up. So, what does this mean? Do you have hope for our generation after all? Is there a happy ending in store for us? Sorry, I’m not going to fall into the trap of social engineering. I’m just going to write my stories. I just think things are better than they’ve ever been. People need to recognise that. Our ancestors dealt with much worse than we do. We need to recognise the gifts we’ve been left with, and be a little more grateful. Do a little more with them. Quit whining.

GUIDE l BOOKS

BOOKS, MAN The idea that a book is somehow reserved for one gender, and one gender only, is outdated and a little problematic. That said, here are some other books you should read this month if you happen to be a man. >

TAKE THAT JAMES GRAINGER’S HARMLESS ASKS IMPORTANT QUESTIONS ABOUT MODERN MANHOOD. QUESTIONS LIKE: WHERE’S LIAM NEESON WHEN YOU NEED HIM? BY GREG HUDSON

AM NEESON NEVER saves the world. He’ll save his daughter, maybe a hooker with a heart of gold, but he’s not about to rescue an entire planet. And, of course, he’s not the only aging actor neck-punching against the dying of the light. There’s a reason these actors, while righteously kicking ass, aren’t saving the world— and it has nothing to do with capability (honestly, if the Hulk kidnapped Neeson’s daughter, I’d still put my money on his very specific set of skills). See, young men want to see their action heroes save the galaxy, or the world, or at the very least, the city. But, older men, the kind a few decades out of college, with a couple of kids, have lived enough life to know that the world isn’t going to end, and if it does, there’s nothing to be done about it anyway. Their fears are more intimate: debt, loss of a family member, the betrayal of a friend, a pack of wolves. They look to heroes like Neeson for anxious escapism. Manhood is about kicking anxiety’s ass. Harmless, James Grainger’s debut novel, is a response to all that. Two fathers, alone in the woods, looking for their daughters that have gone missing. Like all good literary thrillers, it snakes its way into your heart, coiling around your emotions until you can’t put it down. A slow burn that gets pretty damn hot. It’s only right to start a discussion about a book like Harmless with talk of films. The connection is clearly stated. One of the fathers, Joseph, a picture of Gen-X masculinity (urban, smart, but ineffectual), thinks about films constantly, measuring his rage, his fear, his lack of specific skills against them. “You imagine yourself in these situations, battling a villain in the scaffolding above a vat of molten lead...but your borrowed arsenal of fighting skills and tag lines...no better prepared you for the real thing than sexual fantasies made a virgin a good lover.” In that way, Harmless is a tense, high stakes exploration of the disconnect between the kind of men Generation Xers are realizing they wish they had become and the men they are. It’s a rebuttal of the Liam Neeson fantasy. A wake-up call that a filmbuff generation probably needs. There’s a kind of old school morality at the centre of Harmless that’s reminiscent of old-school horror movies, too—the Bad Stuff that happens is punishment for transgression: not sex, but subscribing to a life of apathy, irony and self-centredness. Being a bad father, a lesser man. Harmless is a book just as concerned with How We Live Now as it is with its tense plot. And while it succeeds more when Grainger focuses less on critiquing modern manhood and more on the terror of surviving a night in the wilderness full of danger, it strikes a precarious, propulsive balance between literature and pulp. It’d make a fine movie one day. Someone call Liam Neeson.

38 SHARP MIDDLE EAST MAY/JUNE 2015

ALL THAT’S LEFT

WARD ANDERSON Anderson, who happens to be a frequent contributor at Sharp, isn’t the first stand-up to write novels, but his might have the most heart. All That’s Left is the novel you should read between Nick Hornby books.

THE BOOK OF ARON

JIM SHEPARD Because we could all learn a thing or two about sacrifice. The Book of Aron follows a boy through the ghettos of Warsaw and tells the story of Janusx Korcsak, a doctor who refused freedom in order to stay with his child patients. Puts missing that fishing trip into perspective.

MUSIC FOR LOVE OR WAR

MARTYN BURKE A beautiful, sad and funny story about finding the woman that got away. We all have one, but we didn’t all meet her in Afghanistan. And we can’t all write our stories like this.

GUIDE l MUSIC

THE LEGACY OF MUNIR BASHIR AN ARAB PIONEER, THE MASTER OF THE OUD, WHOSE GENIUS WORK GAVE A NEW DIMENSION TO MUSIC BY MAAN HAMZI

he oud is a truly phenomenal instrument. Famous musicians who have embraced this six-stringed instrument – known as the lute – take pride in their connection with it. The instrument is recognised for imparting fervently harmonious, yet powerful melodies; more importantly, for producing the most theoretical aspects in music. In the case of the oud – there’s only one name that is synonymous with this instrument - the legendary Iraqi musician Munir Bashir who transformed the oud into a universal instrument.

What Bashir did with the oud surpassed generations, influencing today’s music. The prince of the oud, as he was known throughout his career, Bashir was born in Iraq to a musical family – both his father, Abd al-Aziz, and his brother, Jamil, were reputable oud-soloists and vocalists. Bashir was exposed to music at a young age and his family had a strong influence on his musical upbringing from when he was only five. He was first taught to play the violoncello, a European instrument became popular in Arabian music during the late 19th century. Bashir’s family would teach him the

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fundamentals of oud and music critique. His father believed the pure traditions of Arab music had devolved in Baghdad and this thinking perhaps impelled the son to break the norms and exceed expectations. There is no question that Iraq enjoys a rich history of music, particularly since it is at the cradle of the world’s oldest civilization. Over six thousand years of Mesopotamian culture, the region has been continuously exposed to a myriad of traditions; and Bashir explored all these cultures: Byzantine, Kurdish, Assyrian, Persian, and Abbasidian.

Growing up in Iraq played a defining factor in shaping Bashir’s musical persona. He pursed his talents at the Baghdad Conservatory where he completed his studies. After that, he began teaching at Academic des Beaux-Arts, and then his music began to attract attention. He performed his first concert in Istanbul as an independent artist, and also travelled to Beirut where he accompanied the Lebanese icon Fairuz. By 1960, Bashir had moved to Budapest where he was married and had a son, Omar, who later followed in the footsteps of his father. Bashir gave the oud utmost prominence as a solo instrument – and through his transcendental masterpieces, he promoted Arabic music worldwide. He combined Middle Eastern sounds with his interest in both Asian and European musical theory. He conquered the Arab scale, or maqamat system, thus forming an inimitable style that is truly unique and profound in the world of musical genre. He developed a jazz-like improvisational skill, known as ‘taqsim’, and stretched the barriers of the traditional oud like never heard before. This is evident in some of his works, like on his Flamenco Roots, where the oud is taken to extremes to emanate the rhythms and styles of a Spanish guitar. Bashir cherished the oud, and this is demonstrated in his albums, including Babylon Mood, Art of Oud and Meditations – all paying tribute to this divine instrument. Bashir continued to make music and perform up to his passing away in 1997. In fact, he died from a heart attack in Hungary right before his planned tour to Mexico. His legacy continues through aspiring musicians and his 45-year-old son Omar, who has released more than 19 albums while touring the world with his oud.

GUIDE l MUSIC

ALABAMA SHAKEDOWN THE BAND MIGHT BE LEADING THE SOUTHERN ROCK RENAISSANCE—BUT LEAD SINGER BRITTANY HOWARD WOULD RATHER NOT BE PLAYED LIKE THAT BY ALEX NINO GHECIU

OU’D BE HARD pressed to read an article about Alabama Shakes that doesn’t suggest they’re torchbearers of the Southern sound. But Alabama Shakes don’t want the stinking torch. Their sophomore record, Sound & Color, sees them try to, well, shake the Southern revivalist tag. “We try not to think of what we’re doing in such large terms,” says frontwoman Brittany Howard. “Honestly, I would much prefer that people say we were doing what the Alabama Shakes are doing, not trying to recreate something

that came before us.” Whatever they’re doing, it’s surely as been working. Since releasing their debut, Boys & Girls, in 2012, the Shakes have gone gold, received near-universal critical adulation, played Saturday Night Live and earned two Grammy nominations. Whether they like it or not, the four-piece are a dad-rocking Boomer’s dream: they’ve got humble Cotton State origins, vintage R&B reference points and a powerful black female singer who sounds like the sweaty, done-wrong lovechild of Otis and Aretha. So it seems counterintuitive for

Wrong Decade, Bro Alabama Shakes isn’t the only band that sounds transplanted from a past era. Here are a few other old souls worth getting hip to.

ZAC BROWN BAND

THE TALLEST MAN ON EARTH

SAM SMITH

Sounds like: Alabama and The Oak Ridge Boys. A lot. But, hey, it won them a Grammy. Listen to: Jekyll + Hyde is a skillful but unoriginal mix of country, bluegrass and jam band sounds.

Sounds like: Bob Dylan, thanks to his nasally drawl and dexterous picking finger. Listen to: On Dark Bird Is Home, out this month, he rejigs the folk template with lush orchestration and ghostly backing vocals.

Sounds like: an early ’60s episode of American Bandstand. But he can also sound a bit like Tom Petty. Listen to: His Grammynominated tune “Stay With Me.” As if you need to be reminded. It’s probably on the radio right now.

the Shakes to divert from the bluesy, foot-stomping sound that’s been their calling card. Sound & Color is a decidedly trippier, more meandering affair; there are psychedelic slow jams (“Gemini”), fuzzed-out funk jaunts (“Future People”), nu-soul meditations (“Over My Head”) and garage-rock bangers (“The Greatest”). It’s a sonic detour that might cost the Shakes some fans. But they’re okay with that. “It would be dishonest not to say that you think about that occasionally, but we’re really proud of the direction we’re heading,” says Howard. “We have to stay true to ourselves and where we want to go, or else what is the point of doing this? Also, I’m not really sure what the Southern sound is anymore.” Southern or not, the Shakes get attention because Howard reminds people of something – not necessarily someone. It’s an ethos of a bygone era. A time when vocalists conjured raw, agonizing pain at will, crowing and screaming, preaching and confessing, like the wounds are fresh and sting like hell. Even with its genre-bending avant-gardism, Sound & Color still sounds like rock ’n’ roll’s pure, openhearted early days, thanks to her agonized delivery. Which, of course, makes journalists yearn for even more contextualization: is Howard the torchbearer for true, transcendent rock singers? “I’ll let the critics figure this out,” she says. “It’s something that should be looked at in 10 or 20 years. This is our second record. We have such a long way to go.” MAY/JUNE 2015 SHARP MIDDLE EAST 41

GUIDE l A WELCOME

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CARLSON YOUNG LAUGHS IN THE FACE OF DANGER BY BIANCA TEIXEIRA

ERE’S SOMETHING about Carlson Young that makes you feel like you’ve met her before. Maybe it’s her girlnext-door affability, or maybe it’s her contagious giggle. More likely, it’s because you definitely have seen her before—that is, if you’re a comedy fan. Young has been a fixture in funny circles for years, guest-starring on shows like The League, The Kroll Show and Key & Peele (Jay-Quelin, anyone?). “I’ve been obsessed with comedy lately,” Young says. “I love women in comedy—like Amy Schumer—and what they’re doing right now. It’s just so much fun to work on hilarious shows.” As a rule, the 24-year-old Texas native generally prefers laughing to screaming in terror. But this summer, she’ll be starring in Scream, the television adaptation of the iconic ’90s slasher flick. It’s a good thing Young’s not above finding the humour in life’s little ironies: “Horror movies scare the crap out of me,” she says. “So it’s kind of funny that I’m a part of this.”

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GUIDE l CULTURE

Art is totally rad, dude

BRUSH STROKE EXPRESSIONS DUBAI IS ENDORSING ALL SORTS OF TALENT. FROM STREET ART TO ABSTRACT WORKS, LOCAL AND INTERNATIONAL ARTISTS ARE SETTING A NEW, COLOURFUL SCENE

Slice of the imagination

hen you see your legendary Lebanese diva Fairouz painted on a skateboard, you’ll know it was never designed for teenage athletic stunts. Greek-American artist Fotis Gerakis was recently at the Dubai-based art and design concept store Cities, where a series of his handpainted skateboards were on display at a special event hosting members of the local art and culture scene. The exhibition, entitled ‘Street Art Goes to the Opera’, portrays iconic Arab figures and various cultural figures painted on skateboards – a medium Gerakis prefers over canvas. The artist explains that his concept is a challenging perspective on possession and identity as it represents an acquisition of a style and medium that is typically used to characterise a specific societal group: the urban youth. With his possession of this medium, and his contrasting approach, he rebrands it as art worthy of being hung in homes and museums. Hazem Aljesr, owner of Cities boutique located in Galleria Mall, is keen on encouraging new forms of artistic expression in the region with a series of unique art events scheduled to take place in the boutique over the course of the year.

art With Your Art’ is the latest trend to hit the region, where artists meet in a chill-out setting to demonstrate their creative abilities. The sessions, held at Iris Dubai’s rooftop of the Oberoi hotel in Business Bay, brings together guests to sip on sangria and signature passionfruit martinis as they admire the works of over 20 local and international artists. The concept originated in Egypt with founders Nazli Taymour and Laila Naga realizing the opportunity to expand into Dubai, hence collaborating with Iris. “We loved the idea because we wanted to offer art lovers and art collectors a vibrant and creative platform to buy and sell art,” says Karim Jaber, Iris’ founder and managing partner. “We are so happy with the outcome of the collaboration and feel we are revolutionising the art scene by giving art enthusiasts a relaxed atmosphere to trade and admire art at every level.” The eclectic variation of styles had something for every patron of the arts from pop art and abstract paintings to photography and even an original one-of-a-kind Picasso. 44 SHARP MIDDLE EAST MAY/JUNE 2015

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GUIDE l DESIGN The company intends to grow its client database across a range of industries in the region, where it is already planning projects for different food and beverage outlets, retail spaces and office concepts. The firm has designed homes of several Middle Eastern pop stars, as well as an 8,000 square metre Jeddah palace for a member of the Saudi royal family. “We challenge ourselves beyond guidelines and dare to start new trends. Adding fun and twists to our designs results in bold and original designs,” says Vanlian.

BRIGHT BOLD INTERIORS A BEIRUT-BASED DESIGN HOUSE IS SPREADS OUT WITH AUDACITY

ere’s a table lamp with slender orange legs, an olive tree on a condo balcony and a geometric future-like sofa in an abandoned shelter. This is world of Vick Vanlian, the distinctive furniture and interior design brand from Beirut, which is expanding into the Gulf’s creative design hub – the Dubai Design District. The company’s founder and creative director, Vicken Vanlian, has built himself a reputation for the avant-garde techniques incorporated in his intriguing designs. The furniture and interior decorative pieces are based on the components on the senses wherever possible - mainly touch, smell, sight and sound. The designer achieves this by incorporating elements of vintage, futuristic and innovative aspects, pop culture and urban influence. Some can appear as being rather provocative, and that’s whole idea. It’s the soothing colours and refined textures that exude a harmonious appeal that is emotionally pleasant to the eye. The elements display different moments of life as if time was interrupted – a photographic statue if you must. Vanlian’s sums up his design philosophy as: “Be bold! Design without fear.” 46 SHARP MIDDLE EAST MAY/JUNE 2015

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GUIDE l FOOD

SHARP

FOOD

CAUCASIAN CUISINE AND FOR A LITTLE TASTE OF ARMENIA, HERE’S MAYRIG…

FOR THE LOVE OF ART AND BURGERS GRAFFITI IS ADDING A DISTINCTIVE FLAVOUR TO THIS DUBAI RESTAURANT

ver since Bansky started stencilling the streets of the world in socio-political satire, graffiti has become a soughtafter art craze. As surrealistic as it sounds, people are paying big bucks for street art. Now, Burger Rebel has opened its second outlet – at Souk Al Bahar in Dubai – where UK-born street artist Jon Revell has been painting the walls with original graffiti. The restaurant lives up to its ‘anything but conventional’ motto

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– just as the arty décor exudes a fresh contemporary style, so does its appetizing classic burgers, hot dogs and slider scene. From a culinary standpoint, the buns are all handcrafted and made with potato starch instead of flour; and the sauces and toppings are also homemade using fresh ingredients. The beetroot and banana chips are not to be missed, while the desserts range from an air homemade corncake served with berries and cream, to a creamy, sweet pumpkin pudding

blended with honeyed cream cheese and layered with a cinnamon croquante. There is a wide selection of hotdogs made from various quality ingredients, while one slider that caught our attention was the Forestière that comes with a marinated grilled giant mushroom, spiced aïoli and Provolone cheese. Burger Rebel’s first outlet in Wafi Mall, Dubai, also features graffitied walls, after the venue held a competition for local street artists to paint its walls when it opened in 2012.

salute to 1989. The Berlin Wall is torn down, and dozens of nations emerge out of their decades of darkness. The cultures of Eastern Europe and the Caucuses expose their natural wonders, historical cityscapes, artistic marvels, music, and of course, their distinctive cuisines. Armenia, one of these hidden gems, is no exception. Right in the heart of Downtown Dubai on Emaar Boulevard, Mayrig restaurant offers a bite of Armenia’s delectable culinary culture. This charming place exudes a welcoming atmosphere through its indoor and outdoor settings. In particular, the remarkable details of traditional Armenian décor stand out in rich fabrics, intricate designs and jewelled tones. But it is rather the delightful authentic flavours and the exquisite food presentations that add to this harmonious dining experience. From a distinctive breakfast menu to a wide range of traditional home-cooked meals, the list of options is irresistible. The selection includes a manakeesh basket with labneh (dried yogurt), zaatar (thyme), cheese and kishik manakeesh; pancake with custard apple cream; eggs cooked with traditional sausages, namely sojouk and basterma. Then there is the Mayrig Omelette, a breakfast special with fresh ingredients and wholesome flavours. Armenian tea and coffee, as well as a spectacular selection of fresh juices are a great accompaniment to the unique dishes offered. Mayrig opened two years ago in Dubai, but its original location stands in Beirut. With an authentic feel and exquisite cuisine, the venues have become popular among international personalities such as English singer James Blunt, Lebanese fashion designer Elie Saab and award-winning film director Nadine Labaki. The restaurant is looking to expand across the region with its next opening in Riyadh. With a name like Mayrig, which means ‘mother’ in Armenian, the food can only be great. MAY/JUNE 2015 SHARP MIDDLE EAST 49

GUIDE l EXPEDITION

TIME FOR TAKE OFF THREE AVIATORS ARE SPREADING A SWISS WATCHMAKER’S STORY ACROSS 22 CITIES IN 23 DAYS.

team of pilots has been flying across the Middle East and the Mediterranean to promote the latest collection of Oris watches which were recently unveiled at the renowned Baselworld watch show in Switzerland. The 12,000 kilometre-long journey, dubbed the Oris Aviators’ Basel Mission, took off from Grenchen airport in Switzerland in mid-April to fly through 22 cities in three weeks. The whole idea is the engineering of Karim Gerber, Oris’s Middle East manager, who put together a threeman team that would present the legendary Swiss watchmaker’s exquisite timepieces at exclusive events in each location. They have also been providing specialist training to local retailers and holding press conferences in eight countries. Gerber is flying the entire tour in a

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WATCH THIS SPACE

The latest timepiece to bring Oris’s 110 year-old watchmaking philosophy to life is its Oris Big Crown ProPilot Altimeter, a high-functioning instrument that’s also the world’s first automatic watch with a mechanical altimeter. An essential tool for pilots, mountaineers and explorers, the altimeter is one of the six standard cockpit instruments pilots rely on during flight. Combining automatic movement and a mechanical altimeter, the latest model boasts 47 mm case cast in stainless steel.

Pilatus PC-7 aircraft that once belonged to the Swiss Air Force and can reach speeds of up to 500 km/h. At some point of the journey, he was accompanied in the Oris-branded two-seater plane for alternate legs by ex-Swiss Air Force pilot Paul Ruppeiner and former Swissair pilot Simon Maurer. All three are members of a select group of Switzerland’s licensed air-show pilots, and bring vast flying experience to the mission. Ruppeiner, who began his flying career four decades ago, is also the founder of the Oris-sponsored Fliegermuseum in Altenrhein. The entire 23-day mission had the team spend over 40 hours in the cockpit. Some of the destinations on their map included: Thessaloniki, Cairo, Jeddah, Riyadh, Abu Dhabi, Muscat, Dubai, Doha, Bahrain and Kuwait.

GUIDE l THE TRAVELLING MAN

cannelloni. And, thanks to owner (and sommelier) Shelley Lindgren, SPQR consistently has one of the best wine lists in the city, focusing on smaller vineyards and lesser-known grapes from across Italy. SPQRSF.COM

TOSCA CAFÉ

TIME TO ENJOY SAN FRANCISCO’S MOMENT, AGAIN

he Bay Area is booming. There’s the tech stuff, sure. The city is the undisputed capital of the digital universe, home to some of the biggest companies in the US, and a playground for their suitably largepocketed employees. But the net result of all that disruption is more than just Google busses and outrageous real estate prices. It’s a city that’s thriving on a human level. There’s the natural beauty of the bay, the multi-ethnic influences in food and architecture, and the fact that you can’t walk five minutes without finding a perfect cup of coffee or a killer craft cocktail.

STAY

THE BATTERY

After Michael and Xochi Birch made a fortune with their social networking site, Bebo, in the early 2000s, they took the next logical step: opening a members’ only club and hotel – think of it like a social network, in real life. The Battery, which opened two years ago, is at the epicentre of cool in the city, nestled among the financial district, the piers and Chinatown. Membership is by invitation only, but booking one of the hotel’s suites as a guest is a kind of loophole. You can take advantage of otherwise private

privileges, including access to the restaurant and bar (all local, sustainable California cooking), and the club’s jam-packed event schedule, featuring wine tastings, art talks, live music and all kinds of pop-ups.

permanent – and even expanded to New York. Chef Danny Bowien became famous for his Kung Pao Pastrami, and you should go out of your way to find out why.

THEBATTERYSF.COM

SPQR

EAT

MISSION CHINESE FOOD

Mission Chinese started as a hip pop-up inside an existing Chinese food restaurant in the rapidly gentrifying Mission District. That was almost a decade ago. Since then, the pop-up has become

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MISSIONCHINESEFOOD.COM

In a city littered with well-reviewed, upscale restaurants, SPQR stands out for its totally clever, totally unexpected use of local ingredients. Chef Matthew Accarino transforms traditional Italian cooking with dishes like red beet and beef cheek farrotto and nettle and mushroom

Once a gathering place for beat poets and, later, pseudobeat Hollywood-types like Sean Penn and Johnny Depp, the Tosca was completely revamped last year. It reopened as one of the best restaurants in the city under the care of April Bloomfield, the much-celebrated New York chef. Now, you’ll find a menu of light and fresh ItalianAmerican dishes, alongside a menu of strong, retro cocktails

like the Casino Bar Negroni and Tosca Pink Gin. TOSCACAFESF.COM

NOPA

Nopa is San Francisco’s very Californian take on the traditional greasy spoon. The menu is all locavore, updated by season and availability. Some standards include slow-braised delicacies with chickpeas and collard greens and soft scrambled eggs with croutons and avocado. Yeah, avocado. You’re in northern California. Get avocado on everything. NOPASF.COM

TADICH GRILL

Tadich Grill has been a San Francisco institution for more than 160 years, and the whole operation

is suitably old-school: white tablecloths, white-coated waiters, huge portions of local food. Head straight for the counter, sit down and dive into one of their signature seafood dishes, like the steamed clams or the Seafood Cioppino. TADICHGRILL.COM

LOUNGE

THE DEVIL’S ACRE

The Devil’s Acre is an apothecary-themed lounge with revivalist cocktails from the 19th century, like the Prospector (an ode to pisco) and the Bourbon Crusta (a twist on the traditionally brandybased drink). Sounds like fun, right? But the best part is in the back, down the secret staircase, at Remedie, the hidden bar-withina-bar, where you can stay long after most places in the neighbourhood close down. THEDEVILSACRE.COM

NIHON

The wall of bottles behind Nihon’s is big. Like biggeston-the-West-Coast big, boasting more than 500 bottles of liquid gold. Almost the entire stock is available by the taste, glass or even the whole bottle. For those who don’t like their drinks neat, there are plenty of cocktails to indulge in. And if you’re only in town for a few days (and you value consistency above all else), Nihon offers private storage lockers to keep your bottle(s) safe and set aside for next time. DAJANIGROUP.NET

BARTLETT HALL

Bartlett Hall may be a full-service restaurant, but you’ll go there for the brews. Along with a strong good selection from across the country,

BAY AREA BEAN JUICE

When it comes to coffee on the west coast, Seattle and Vancouver might be the obvious front-runners. But a few hours south, San Francisco more than holds its own. Let’s say Mr Zuckerberg didn’t build Facebook into an empire without a little caffeine buzz now and then. Here’s where you’ll find the best brews in town.

FOURBARREL

The founders of Fourbarrel are coffee obsessed, and, frankly, they expect their customers to be, too. No Wi-Fi or plugs in the cafe means you’ll have to actually talk to the person in front of you – ideally about the coffee you’re currently drinking. And if you’re really into it, there’s a full schedule of evening classes designed to teach you about sourcing and brewing coffee. FOURBARRELCOFFEE.COM

BLUE BOTTLE

The biggest mini-chain in town, Blue Bottle’s reach has expanded from the west coast to include both the east coast (New York) and the Far East (Tokyo). Each location is unique, but the commitment to only serving coffee that has been roasted in the past 48 hours is the through-line – and the obvious reason their coffee is so massively popular. bluebottlecoffee.com

SIGHTGLASS

Sightglass has two locations in San Francisco, but the flagship in SoMA is pretty much unparalleled. The large warehouse space functions as a combined roaster and coffee bar, so you can see the work that goes into every hyper-caffeinated sip. SIGHTGLASSCOFFEE.COM

Bartlett Hall has its own small in-house brewery, helmed by Christopher Wike of the Golden Gate Brewing Company, that churns out a spot-on selection like the earthy and hoppy red rye wheat types. BARTLETTHALLSF.COM

SHOP

SELF EDGE

As the name suggests, this store is all about denim. The staff is rigorously trained to help you find the perfect fit

and teach you the proper way to care for your new jeans. Once you get hooked on the meticulously curated stock, take comfort in the fact that you can also get your fix in New York, LA, Portland and, of course, online. SELFEDGE.COM

WELCOME STRANGER

Just north of the trendy Mission and Castro neighbourhoods, Welcome Stranger

is the outfitter of laidback techy cool. The store offers a strong mix of European (Barbour, A.P.C.) and American (Saturdays NYC, Rag & Bone) designers alongside its own eponymous line of unbranded casual staples. You’ll also find the requisite selection of books, home décor, grooming products and perfect, unexpected accessories. WELCOMESTRANGER.COM

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GUIDE l ESCAPE

WILD ESCAPE DISCOVER SANDY BEACHES, MANGROVE LAGOONS, ARCHAEOLOGICAL WONDERS, OUTDOOR ADVENTURES AND THOUSANDS OF WILD ANIMALS ROAMING FREE – ALL ON ONE ISLAND: SIR BANI YAS. BY MAAN HAMZI

ir Bani Yas may be best known for its nature reserves and distinctive wildlife features. Tourists have flocked from different parts of the world just to get close to some of the three-dozen species of animals on the island, which number over 10,000 – from cheetahs and giraffes to ostriches and flamingos. But for the man who wants an instant weekend escape to switch off from the rat race and the burdens of work stress, this is one hotspot that sits conveniently right at your doorstep. Located off the coast of the Abu Dhabi emirate, Sir Bani Yas is a real getaway treat surrounded by roughly 200 islands. Some of these picturesque isles have Emirati heritage embedded in their desert roots as generations of local cultures have thrived there for thousands of years, while other smaller remote ones have become the nurturing grounds of migrating birds, turtles and all sorts of exotic life. All wildlife aside, perhaps the coolest thing about Sir Ban Yas is that you can pack a load of outdoor adventures on this island, and still have the option to totally laze out at one of the three five-star Anantara luxury resorts. At first, you have all the right to sunbathe by the poolside listening to your Buddha Bar’s 2005 lounge album, veg out on barbecues and an assortment of delicacies, and sip cocktails all day long watching antelopes roaming in the distant. But when you get your energy back, you want to seriously embark on an adventure that

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will make your trip ever more exhilarating. This is not your ordinary desert island escape. There is a host of activities that one can take part in on land, such as archery, mountain biking and horseback riding, which are guaranteed to keep you active all day long. One activity that is particularly thrilling is land-sailing which involves navigating on a threewheeled vehicle powered by wind through the use of

a sail. For those who prefer more aquatic adventures, Sir Bani Yas offers a wide range of ocean activities such as kayaking through the mangrove lagoons – a most breath-taking experience. And if you’re keen on the sea, you can kayak in the Arabian Gulf waters around the island, or head out on a deep sea fishing trip, or take on stand up paddle boarding, or even wind down on a sundowner cruise. There is even a dive centre on the island where you can book a boat and go on an amazing marine adventure of colourful fishes and corals. If you’re lucky, you might come across a dugong, a large marine herbivore mammal also known as a ‘sea cow’ which is predominately found in this part of the world. You surely don’t want to leave Sir Bani Yas without venturing on a wildlife safari. The biodiversity found here is truly one of a kind. No other place in the region offers this type of safari-like rest and recreation, or at least remotely compares. Over 8,000 antelopes freely roam the island, most of them sand gazelles. There is a variety of antelope species you’ll

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GUIDE l ESCAPE

HOW TO GET THERE…

There are short direct flights from Abu Dhabi and Dubai airports or you can avail of boat transfers from Jebel Dhanna in the Western Region.

YOU DEFINITELY WANT TO BE EQUIPPED WITH A CAMERA THAT HAS A GOOD ZOOM LENS – YOU’LL FIND YOURSELF CONSTANTLY SNAPPING AWAY AT THE FASCINATING WILDLIFE AND CHARMING SCENERY catch sight of on your wildlife drives including blackbuck, mountain gazelle, eland and the famed Arabian oryx which was once declared extinct in the wild. Today, Sir Bani Yas is the breeding ground for over 500 Arabian oryx – one of the few places in the world dedicated to saving this beautiful creature. Driving through the park in a four-wheel vehicle by one of the expert guides, you’ll spot all sorts of animals you never imagined would survive in this part of the world. The park is home to thousands of free roaming animals – some indigenous to the Arabian Peninsula and others ranging from hunting predators to exotic birds. You’ll come across giraffes feeding off trees, 56 SHARP MIDDLE EAST MAY/JUNE 2015

gazelles grazing among the shrubs, ostriches loitering about, hyenas scavenging for leftovers, Barbary sheep all huddled up on the side of a hill, and if you’re lucky enough, cheetah cubs roaming around with their mother on the edge of a cliff. You definitely want to be equipped with a camera that has a good zoom lens – you’ll find yourself constantly snapping away at the fascinating wildlife and charming scenery. The guides will fill you in on random animal information. You’ll learn that the ostrich is the fastest bird on land – it can run up to 75 kilometres an hour. The eland, weighing around 1000 kilograms, can jump two metres high from a free-standing position.

The blackbuck, the world’s fastest gazelle which runs at 90 kilometres an hour, has an interesting skin colour story. There is so much to take in and nothing beats the purity of nature. Here, in the middle of this wildlife sanctuary, you can completely switch off from the human race and the only sounds you will encounter are those of the animals grazing peacefully, peacocks flirting with one another, small furry hyrax (a rodent-size animal which is the closest living relative to the elephant) scrambling about the earth, and a mysterious wind whistling through the trees. All this and more is for you to discover on your drives or your game walks or even when you are mountain biking. For those who want to delve deep into the history of the area, the Sir Bani Yas reveals 6000 years remnants of ancient civilizations which can be explored on archaeological tours. One site in particular is a rare finding – a Christian monastery dating back to the 6th century. MAY/JUNEL 2015 SHARP MIDDLE EAST 57

GUIDE l HEALTH MELATONIN In terms of natural remedies, this is probably the most studied. Melatonin is a hormone produced in your brain that is largely responsible for your circadian rhythms – levels amp up in the dark of evening and fall again in the morning. Again, some call it a hero, others call it a villain, but Dr Atul Khullar, a sleep specialist for MedSleep, believes a 1mg supplement may be useful for certain people.

VALERIAN ROOT The herb valerian is one of the most common treatments for insomnia. It is said to reduce stress and anxiety – which may be the root causes of the insomnia to begin with – and aid in falling and staying asleep, without any serious side effects. One quality experts can agree on: it smells like ripe feet.

TIME FOR A REALITY CHECK

SLEEP LIKE YOU’RE DEAD. FEEL ALIVE. HOW TO GET THE MOST OUT OF YOUR NIGHTS BY COLEMAN MOLNAR

side from the obvious benefits of sleeping well, like, you know, being a functional, alert adult who doesn’t weep like a child during a matinee screening of Gravity, it apparently cleans your brain, too. A recent study funded by the National Institute of Health suggests that the act of sleeping is akin to hiring a plumber to clear your brain’s pipes of toxic molecules. By injecting dye into the cerebral spinal fluid (a liquid that buffers the brain and spinal cord) of mice, researchers discovered that the space between brain cells expands during unconsciousness, allowing the liquid to flow more 58 SHARP MIDDLE EAST MAY/JUNE 2015

freely and flush out potentially harmful toxins, indicating that sleep may play an important role in fighting Alzheimer’s and other neurodegenerative disorders. We already knew sleep was crucial to our well-being and then…Boom! Yet another science bomb! So, sleep well, or else. Here’s how...

NATURAL SLEEP AIDS

Do they work? Science says: maybe. There are plenty of experts on either side, suggesting that some may indeed work for you. These are some options.

According to Dr Khullar, insomnia is more often than not a sign of imbalance in our lives. “Looking at one’s general physical and mental health and lifestyle would be the first step,” he says. “Common root causes of insomnia are depression, anxiety, stress, poor nutrition, low testosterone and poor pre-bedtime behaviours like too many screens on, too much caffeine or over-napping. And the real harm comes with not addressing these core issues in the first place.”

TECHNOLOGY MAKES EVERYTHING EASIER BEDDITT SLEEP TRACKING DEVICE

If sleeping with a wristband isn’t your cup of Sleepytime, the Bedditt Sleep Tracker is a discreet strip under your sheet that works with your Smartphone to track your heart rate, breathing, snoring, movement and changes to the environment like noise and light. (AED 300)

HEY! WAKE UP

Yes, the average person sleeps 8 hours a night. But, who said you wanted to be average? Here’s some living (and dead) proof that not everyone needs eight hours a night.

INSOMNIAC LEONARDO DA VINCI

1.5 hours in 15-minute intervals every 4 hours

NIKOLA TESLA 3 hours

MARTHA STEWART 4 hours

DONALD TRUMP 5 hours

BARACK OBAMA 6 hours

MATTHEW MCCONAUGHEY 8.5 hours

HEIDI KLUM 10 hours

FITBIT FORCE Fitbit’s newest piece of wellnesspromoting tech will track your activity (steps taken, floors climbed, etc.), but can also track your moments of inactivity. The Force observes your sleeping habits, like how often you toss and turn, and links that info to your smartphone so you can analyse your sleep patterns. It also has an alarm feature that vibrates lightly, for a gentle wake-up call that won’t disturb your bed-mate’s slumber. (AED 400)

DRACULA

A solid 12 hours per day (depending on his latitudinal location)

VAMPIRE

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GUIDE l TECH l l l l l l l

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CHOOSE YOUR OWN ADVENTURE

A deluge of VR headsets is about to pelt your local tech store. Here’s what you need to know l l l l l l l

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SONY PROJECT MORPHEUS

SAMSUNG GEAR VR

OCULUS RIFT

MICROSOFT HOLOLENS

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How it works: Uses a Samsung Galaxy smartphone that plugs into a Micro USB dock and the Gear’s Super AMOLED display becomes a screen. What it does: Features Milk VR, a streaming service already

How it works: Hooks up to your PS4; tracks movements at 1,000 times per second. What it does: Lets you stand fist-bitingly close to Lara Croft.

NOW YOU SEET IT... VIRTUAL REALITY IS DEAD. LONG LIVE VIRTUAL REALITY

IRTUAL REALITY MADE some lofty promises when it had its first boom in the ’90s. Put on these goggles, escape the mundane, start anew on Middle-earth. But the headsets were clunky, the graphics choppy, the experience stomach-churning. The boom fizzled. So, it seems curious that virtual reality is going mainstream once again. And fast. All the leading tech giants are in a race to colonise your sensory perception. Facebook famously bought VR trailblazer Oculus Rift last year for AED 7 billion. Google recently hired a fleet of engineers to build an Androidbased operating system for VR programs. Samsung, Sony, Microsoft and HTC are all readying their respective headsets. Apple, while characteristically silent, obtained a patent for an iPhonecompatible VR gizmo earlier this year. We can safely conclude that VR is the next Next Big Thing. Did we learn nothing the last time we tried sliding dumb plastic shells on our heads? 60 SHARP MIDDLE EAST MAY/JUNE 2015

“It’s because technology has caught up to the dream of VR,” says Dhan Balachandreswaran, CEO of Toronto-based VR start-up Sulon, the most promising Canadian player in the VR game. He’s got a point: the game engines are more lifelike, the environments more immersive, the 360-degree panoramas less nauseating. “Besides, would you not want to live a Lord of the Rings moment?” Sulon believes their Cortex headset – hitting the market later in the year – will give Zuckerberg’s Oculus Rift a run for its very real money. The Cortex stands apart from the pack by melding the real and virtual worlds. Using a 360-degree spatial scanner, it senses your physical environment and builds a game or movie into it. Kind of like Star Trek’s holodeck, but for your face. It all sounds cool, if you’re into that sort of thing. Which, ultimately, is the issue with VR: it’s hard to imagine it really taking off with anyone beyond the Dungeons & Dragons or early-early

adopter set. The most successful tech gadgets in recent years have enabled social interaction in new ways. But there’s something inherently anti-social about slipping into an alternate reality. Maybe the right answer isn’t virtual escapism, but something closer to what Sulon is doing: bringing cyber-enhancement to the real world. Balachandreswaran believes VR’s greatest potential lies in its practical uses. Firefighters in training will be able to live the GoPro footage of being in the midst on an inferno, rather than just reading about it. Realtors will get to walk buyers through their unbuilt homes and furnish them to their liking. Why suffer a 12-hour flight when you can meet your foreign client in a virtual conference room? “You’ll even get to choose your setting: let’s have our meeting in Hawaii, man,” says Balachandreswaran. “What’s about to happen is going to be pretty crazy. You’re going to mind-shift yourselves.” —A L E X N I N O G H E C I U

How it works: Through your computer’s DVI and USB ports. What it does: Gives a 360-degree view of the virtual world – just like you’d see it in real life.

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How it works: Recognizes gestures and voice commands. What it does: Merges holographic images with the real world, so you can play Minecraft on your kitchen table.

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GOOGLE CARDBOARD

How it works: Pop your smartphone into a cardboard container and strap it to your head. What it does: Lets you take a rollercoaster ride or a tour of the Great Barrier Reef.

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STYLE

LOOK BETTER FEEL BETTER KNOW MORE

TRENDS

STYLE l TRENDS DOLCE & GABBANA

T-shirt with Sicilian mambo print AED 1,300

DIESEL

Short-sleeved crewneck, laser-printed indigo jersey AED 725

ARMANI

T-shirt in indigo jersey with flower print AED 320

ONE-PRICE WONDERS

he three shoes on this page have a few things in common. First and foremost, they’re all beautiful – that much is obvious. They also share a distinguished pedigree: handmade in Europe from full-grain leather using top-notch Goodyear-welted construction. But, perhaps the best common denominator? The cost. Each pair clocks in at just AED 1,000 a pop, remarkably reasonable for footwear of this quality. That’s the basic philosophy at Loding, a celebrated French atelier: well-made, great-looking stuff at a fixed price point. Alongside its selection of fine footwear, Loding carries a small assortment of stylish clothes and accessories: the Egyptian cotton dress shirts, silk ties and cufflinks – all priced on the same model. It’s an elegant, egalitarian system, one that results in a far more civilised shopping experience –something we can all appreciate. Vive la France.

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IMPRINT YOUR STYLE

ASHION ICONS ARE imprinting their imagination all over men’s apparel – from shirts and polos to shorts and socks. Shirts, in particular, are sporting all sorts of cool looks for the summer season displaying various patterns, including painted stripes, images of beach life and geometric landscape views – all that blend well with varying garment dyes. Even button-down shirts are being cut in various designs to embody a vintage, worn-in feel that complements chinos, jeans, caps and handbags.

JIGSAW

Painted check short-sleeved shirt AED 525

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STYLE l HOW ITíS DONE

M o to rc yc le

OUTER

Layer

Keep your moto jacket simple. Choose smooth leather in a rich colour, and go easy on the padding and patching. Zippers, though? We’re so into those well-polished zippers. LEATHER MOTORCYCLE JACKET (AED 19,000) BY LOUIS VUITTON; JERSEY KNIT SHIRT (AED 550) BY JOHN VARVATOS.

SLAYER Mark Twain once said, “The coldest winter I ever spent was a summer in San Francisco.” To prove the point, we took to the city’s Mission District to show off some warmweather jackets. Bundle up, it’s hot outside

P H OTO G R A P H Y B Y M ATT D OY LE S TY LI N G B Y A LVA R O S A LA Z A R

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STYLE l HOW ITíS DONE Tr en ch Buck tradition with a slimmed down, deconstructed trench coat. Dig simple lines and single row of buttons (rather than the typical double-breasted style). COTTON TRENCH COAT (PRICE UPON REQUEST) BY LACOSTE; COTTON BUTTON-DOWN (AED 400) BY DIESEL; COTTON PANTS (AED 900) BY TOMAS MAIER.

O ve rc o at Most of the time, you’ll find overcoats in blue, black or beige. That can get boring. This one by Ben Sherman proves that olive green is just as versatile, while unexpected accents like the red stripes on the cuffs and hem make it stand out. COTTON COAT (AED 1,100) BY BEN SHERMAN; JERSEY KNIT SWEATER (AED 375) BY BANANA REPUBLIC; COTTON JEANS (AED 375) BY DIESEL; SUEDE SHOES (AED 1,200) BY J.LINDEBERG.

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STYLE l HOW ITíS DONE Sa fa ri This might just be the perfect modern safari jacket. It’s lightweight. It’s unlined. It’s rugged. And it’s remarkably functional, whether you’re out in the bush doing… whatever…or just out on your way to the bar. COTTON SAFARI JACKET (AED 5,000) AND DENIM JEANS (AED 900) BY MICHAEL BASTIAN; DENIM BUTTON-DOWN SHIRT (AED 550) BY BOSS; 5 SPORT WATCH (AED 1,280) BY SEIKO.

W ax ed C o tt o n Want something that’s waterproof, but not a windbreaker (because you can’t always look like you’re hiking)? The answer is waxed cotton. It will keep you warm, dry and classy as hell. Belstaff, the British biker brand, toughened up their utilitarian jacket with accents like angled breast pockets (easier to access when on a motorcycle) and brass hardware. WAXED-COTTON JACKET (AED 2,700) BY BELSTAFF; COTTON POLO SHIRT (AED 550) BY TOMAS MAIER; COTTON JEANS (AED 300) BY MAVI; CANVAS WITH LEATHER BUCKLE BELT (AED 980) BY BURBERRY; LEATHER SNEAKERS (AED 200) BY CALVIN KLEIN; AQUARACER 500 AUTOMATIC CHRONOGRAPH WATCH (AED 12,000) BY TAG HEUER.

STYLIST ASSISTANT: AUBREY KIA GROOMER: MATTHEW GREEN SPECIAL THANKS TO VISIT CALIFORNIA

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STYLE l HEROES OF MENSWEAR

STYLE l TRENDS SWEET JK SINGLE-BREASTED FLORAL JACQUARD BLAZER AED 5,975

FELIPE OLIVEIRA BAPTISTA

GAME, SET, MATCH

Lacoste’s creative director Felipe Oliveira Baptista has breathed new life into the French heritage brand with his refreshingly tailored take on sportswear BY JOANNE JIN GLOBAL PERSPECTIVES

TRAVEL AND COLLECT

“I grew up in Portugal, studied in London, worked in Italy and moved to Paris. I’ve worked on projects with Nike and UNIQLO. That diversity gave me a broad perspective. It’s important because things are relative when you go to one place or another. There are no formulas for fashion.”

“I travel a lot, so I’ll add one or two days for myself to go see museums, galleries, vintage stores, or just to wander around. It’s not just when I’m in New York or when I go to London or Paris, but it’s everywhere that I go. I always have a camera with me and I’m always seeing and collecting and buying books.”

CREATE THE FUTURE “It’s great to find a starting point from the past, but it is just a base to write the future. It’s pointless to do a photocopy of a collection of something that is from the ’30s or ’40s. There are a lot of things that are interesting in the history of the brand, but then it’s about making them evolve.”

BE AN INDIVIDUAL “Fashion has never been so popular for both men and women. What is good for menswear is a lot of the dress codes. It’s a good time to relax and be more of an individual about things. What looks great on someone might look like crap on another person. For

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BRITONE BLOCK COLOUR BELT AED 245

me, it’s more about individuality. Whatever makes you comfortable and confident is the key.”

DESIGN PROCESS “There’s always one starting point. For the spring/summer 2015 collection, we said, “Yachting.” We got pictures of the boats, we got all the pieces from the archives for sailing, then we started looking at representations of sailing elsewhere, in films and in art. Treating this idea of sails like transparency and lightness is what we wanted to translate into the clothes and how they were constructed. When the main kick-off idea is there, it can be fed by other disciplines and design and art.”

KEEPIN’ IT COOL T

PRINTED SPIRAL POCKET SQUARE AED 175

he disco days were never over. This season is all about the funk and Ted Baker knows how to dress elegant men in snazzy and sleek, well-fitted attire. This Londonbased fashion house has gone a bit flower-power on us, but hey who’s complaining. Signature prints in camouflage and leopard patterns evidently stand out as part of this season’s collection. Quite groovy, very 1970s Bee-Gees disco fever, wouldn’t you say? Still, the smartly chosen color palette works well juxtaposed against the flowery designs, which just happen to provide serious sartorial power to the garment, such as this statement blazer. Now, that’s a way to get noticed. MAY/JUNE 2015 SHARP MIDDLE EAST 73

STYLE l TIMEPIECES

UPDATED CLASSICS A crop of new watches play with time—and the results are beautiful BY ARIEL ADAMS

ASELWORLD IS THE HEAVEN of timepieces. It’s where enthusiasts get their first glimpse of what those who talk about watches will be talking about all year. This year, it seemed that time was on people’s minds. Well, obviously. But what we mean is, perhaps more than any other year, popular brands pulled from their history to offer thoroughly modern timepieces imbued with contemporary materials, technology and designs. The result is handsome timepieces meant for today. Here are your new instant classics.

ORIS CALOBRA RACING CHRONOGRAPH LIMITED EDITION II

OMEGA GLOBEMASTER CO-AXIAL SEDNA

Oris’s new limited edition model is inspired by the dashboard instruments of antique sports cars, but manages to look insanely modern thanks to its green ceramic bezel. AED 14,700

Inspired by vintage Omega Constellation models with the iconic dials, the brand new Globemaster collection is a versatile sport watch with a highly anti-magnetic movement and stellar mechanical accuracy. AED 70,000

ROLEX OYSTER PERPETUAL YACHT-MASTER

TAG HEUER CARRERA CALIBRE HEUER 01

BREITLING SUPEROCEAN II Some refinements made the Superocean II collection one of the most attractive and comfortable (not to mention durable) dive watches around. The width and size stands out, too. AED 12,800

Rolex’s latest Yacht-Master watch is cast in 18k Everose gold with a black ceramic bezel, matching dial and the new Oysterflex bracelet—a novel rubber strap with a metal band in its center for improved durability. AED 87,000 74 SHARP MIDDLE EAST MAY/JUNE 2015

Infusing the classic sports racing Carrera watch collection with a brash character and youthful spirit, the 2015 Carrera Calibre Heuer 01 opens up the watch dial with a view of the movement. PRICE UPON REQUEST MAY/JUNE 2015 SHARP MIDDLE EAST 75

STYLE l CASUAL CHIC THE UMBRELLA

CASUAL CHIC

You spend extra money on a proper umbrella for two reasons. First, quality doesn’t come cheap – and you need quality to withstand the inevitable wind and heavy rains. Second, the more you invest, the less likely you are to leave it in a cab. Just remember to keep the huge golf umbrellas off the sidewalks and on the course.

SPRING Rain is inevitable. But you – the modern gentleman that you are – aren’t about to let a little rain, or even a downpour, dampen your spirits, or your wardrobe. Because you’re prepared, right? Or, you will be with these key items designed to keep you dry and stylish. Bring on the rain.

THE GALOSHES

You throw on a coat to cover up and protect your suit when it rains, but what about your dress shoes? Galoshes will protect the precious leather from puddles. Plus, choosing a colourful pair will prove to be a bright spot on gloomy days.

GIVENCHY GENTLEMEN ONLY CASUAL CHIC

THE TRENCH COAT

The trench coat is a classic for a reason. Whether you opt for a more modern style that has a single row of buttons and ends above the knee, or the more traditional double-breasted iteration, a fitted raincoat, improves any ensemble by adding a layer of elegance.

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Givenchy introduces the third iteration of the Gentlemen Only fragrance with Casual Chic, an Eau de Toilette that captures the freshness of spring. They’ve infused it with energy by adding spicy notes of cardamom, sharp ginger and juniper – which liven up while still complimenting the original notes of sandalwood, cedar wood and birch leaf. A scent that is relaxed and confident, like you – even when it rains.

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STYLE l TRENDS

ETT

($4 LE IG 50 HT )A X T S MA PE RK CT M AC CN LE AI R Y

GARRETT LE IG

HT ($320) AT SP ECTACLE

S RO DG AN 5) ER 56 TL ($ CU S

S BOS 0) ($23

Ö GA

) ($270

FOUR EYES

Don’t need glasses? Too bad

F C LAI R

($42 E GOLDS 0) AT M SPEC ITH TACL E

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YOU WERE PAYING attention during the recent awards season, you might’ve noticed a trend: this year’s best actors (the ones over 25) were all sporting glasses with their formalwear. Why? Partly to see, we bet, but also because they’re a great way to look dapper, intelligent and a little like you don’t really care (witness: Michael Keaton and Steve Carrell). Classic shapes are still best, but we fully endorse having fun with colour and materials. Here are the glasses that are so good, you’ll wish you had an astigmatism.

STYLE l GROOMING

NO SWEAT

The best stuff to keep you fresh when you play hard BY WILLIAM REED

O. Use that body of yours and enjoy the world. Do those things that make you live longer. You know, exercise. Work up a sweat. Use these products to smell good while you’re doing it.

JACK BLACK TURBO WASH (AND BODY REHAB SCRUB AND MUSCLE SOAK)

While we don’t usually endorse the all-in-one convenience of goop that is meant to wash both the body and the hair, after working out, one doesn’t always have the time to groom as one normally would. Plus, this light rosemary- and eucalyptusinfused body wash is as invigorating as a post-workout wash should be. For added benefit, use the Body Rehab Scrub to work out knots and tight muscles. AED 180

ALLURE HOMME SPORT

Water itself doesn’t smell like much—or if it does, it’s probably a bad sign. And yet, Homme Sport has captured the purity of water in a fragrant, appealing form. The fresh top notes are complemented by hints of wood and vetiver. It’s like a day at the lake, minus the campfire and flies. AED 250

KENZO SPORT

Mixing grapefruit, lemon and mint sounds like a refreshing summer beverage, but in fragrance form, it’s a perfect outof-doors, warm-weather scent. Kenzo takes those notes and boosts them with basenotes of cedar and ginger—which doesn’t sound like a bad cocktail garnish, actually. AED 250

INSTITUT KARITÉ 100% SHEA BUTTER

Composed of pure shea butter, there is nothing to dilute this product’s moisturising power, nor is there any fragrance to distract. It doesn’t get much lighter and fresher than that. The more a man works out, and the more time he spends outside, the more he’ll need to replenish moisture. This stuff works on everything: body, hands, face and hair. AED 170

OLD SPICE PURE SPORT DEODORANT

It is impossible to compile any sort of list celebrating sport fragrances without including this icon of the genre. It’s simple, fresh and infused with enough notes of citrus and nostalgia that it almost works as a cologne, despite it being a lowly deodorant. AED 30

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CARS LOOK BETTER FEEL BETTER KNOW MORE

SPRING CLEANING EDITION

OWN AN ICON LAND ROVER DEFENDER

EGEND HAS IT that the original design for what would become the Land Rover Defender was scribbled in sand on the beach at Red Wharf Bay in Wales. That was 68 years ago. Since then much has changed. But not the Defender. Sure, you can get it with air conditioning now, but it’s still the rugged, cramped, utilitarian shed-on-wheels it always was.Its utter simplicity became the canvas upon which so many adventurers projected their dreams. Defenders have made it to every corner of the earth. In the process, it has become one of the few true automotive icons. This year, Land Rover is ending production of the Defender to make way for an allnew model arriving in a couple of years. So there’s no better time to find an original Defender of your own. You may have to buy used (’97 was the last year they were sold in some parts of the world) or look at importing from Europe, where you may find it more benefitial. When you do find one, we suggest you drive it somewhere you wouldn’t otherwise go – like maybe to a beach far away from the rest of the world.

SHARP

AUTO

HOW TO BUY AN AWESOME CAR RIGHT NOW BY MATT BUBBERS

GO ELECTRIC

HE ALL-NEW second generation of Audi’s R8 sports car is sure to be brilliant. It looks stunning and features a 610 horsepower V10 engine ripped from a Lamborghini. But you shouldn’t get one. You should get the other all-new R8. It’s utterly silent. It accelerates without interruption from 0 to 100 km/h in 3.9 seconds. It never needs to stop for gas. It’s called the R8 e-tron, and it’s the future. If you’ve been waiting on the sidelines of the electric car revolution, we don’t blame you. So have we. But it’s time to embrace the new. Electric vehicles are now ready for the mass market, and Audi will be the first mainstream automaker to put an all-electric sports car in their

regular lineup. Development of the Audi’s lithiumion battery has reached a critical energy density, meaning you get performance on par with the V8-powered R8 and a range of 450 kilometres on a single charge. That’s close enough to what you’d get out of a tank of gas. To recharge the battery, Audi says will take less than two hours. The interior lives up to Audi’s famously high standards. A large, central “virtual cockpit” in front of the driver makes you feel like you’re piloting something from a future Blade Runner remake. Most of all, though, we can’t wait to see the look on other drivers’ faces when an e-tron silently smokes their old gasolinepowered behemoth off the line.

THE OTHER ELECTRIC

SPORTS CARS 80 SHARP MIDDLE EAST MAY/JUNE 2015

Mercedes-Benz SLS AMG

ELECTRIC DRIVE

Tesla

ROADSTER

Flux Capacitor

DELOREAN

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SPRING CLEANING EDITION

SUPERCARS SOLVED

MCLAREN P1 GTR PRICE: AED 11.8 MILLION

HE PROBLEM WITH supercars is that the fantasy is better than the reality. We’re not even talking about insurance costs, or the regular maintenance bills that would make a home reno seem cheap. No, the real problem is roads. If you live in a city (and chances are you do), it’s probably an hour’s drive over potholes to get to

a half-empty country road. And then what? Whistle past tractors at 200 km/h? Not a good idea. Purveyors of fine supercars are finally beginning to acknowledge reality. Their solution? Bypassing the problem of roads altogether. This new breed of supercar isn’t road legal. They’re not bound by the things that make road-going cars boring: trunk space,

navigation, infotainment sub-menus. And especially not emissions regulations. You buy the car. You own it. You can keep it in your garage or, if you prefer, some companies will look after it for you. You want to drive your toy? Take your pick of the greatest racing circuits in the world. The company will send the car with a crew, spare tires and driving instructors to help

you get the most out of it. It is the ultimate way for speed demons with extra money to burn to get their adrenaline fix. Ferrari started the trend, selling off old Formula One cars to their best clients and holding track days for them at venues around the world. Most recently, Aston Martin and McLaren unveiled track-only toys of their own. Take your pick.

ASTON MARTIN VULCAN

PRICE: AED 8.5 MILLION

CREDENTIALS: Built in Canada by the carbonfibre specialists who built Aston’s One-77 supercar.

THE CAR: All about the engine. A 7.0litre V12, naturally aspirated, making 800 horsepower.

EXTRAS: High-speed driving lessons from Aston’s factory race drivers.

CREDENTIALS: The company runs arguably the most successful Formula One racing team THE CAR: 1,000 horsepower hybrid. Fighter-pilot levels of fitness required to drive. EXTRAS: Six track days at six F1 circuits around the world.

SHARP

AUTO VER SINCE PAGANI came along and proved that boutique automakers can build supercars to compete with the likes of Ferrari, niche companies have been held to a higher standard: no more backyard build-quality and massively inflated performance figures. The recent products from these companies only back up our claim. We guarantee your neighbours won’t have one of these:

I T ’ S O K AY TO BUY BOUTIQUE

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RUF RtR GERMANY

RUF has a long history of making the cars Porsche won’t, like a turbocharged Targa or a 911 with a rear-mounted V8. Their latest is the twin-turbo RtR. Its Mezger engine puts out 800 horsepower and it’s only available with a six-speed manual. Most of all, we like how it resembles race-bred Porsche RSRs of the 70s.

Koenigsegg Regera SWEDEN

They’re calling the Regera a “megacar” but we suspect that’s just a bad translation. Or perhaps it’s the only appropriate title for a 1,500-horsepower hybrid. Koenigsegg has been around since the ’90s, always pushing the limits of power and sanity. We hear they’re working on more dealerships.

Carrozzeria Touring Superleggera Berlinetta Lusso ITALY

This is probably the most beautiful GT car in the world. Underneath its hand-formed aluminum bodywork, the Berlinetta Lusso is a Ferrari F12. Carrozzeria Touring Superleggera is a tailor for cars: since 1928 the firm has been creating custom bodywork for any vehicle you send to their workshop.

Scuderia Cameron Glickenhaus SCG003S USA

Jim Glickenhaus wasn’t satisfied with his custom Ferrari Enzo-based P4/5 supercar. So now he’s building cars from scratch, starting with this one. The body of the SCG003 is entirely carbon, the suspension is race-spec, and the engine is a 3.5-litre twin-turbo V6. He’ll sell you one for around AED 9 million. MARCH/APRIL 2015 SHARP MIDDLE EAST 83

SHARP

THE SPIRIT OF

INDULGENCE

olls-Royce isn’t really a car,” says a company executive at the launch of the 2015 Ghost Series II sedan in Dallas. “You don’t need it.” With a starting price of AED 1,085,000, you can’t really argue this point. Nor is this much of a sales pitch. Instead, he says, you need to think of it like investing in artwork. Comparing an automobile – even an extremely nice one – to a Rembrandt or a Warhol is a bit of a stretch, but not as much as you might think. Rolls-Royce aims to sell a scant 4,000 vehicles this year, each the result of at least 450 hours of work by a team of 60 craftspeople at the company’s Goodwood, England

AUTO workshop. Additionally, there’s virtually no such thing as a “stock” Rolls, with the vast majority of buyers customizing their vehicles with everything from bespoke paint colours to hidden humidors to diamonds embedded in the headliner. While Goodwood won’t make any changes that compromise the car’s safety, no other request is too far-fetched. They are in the business of making their customers’ dreams – gaudy, candy-coloured and diamondencrusted – come to life. A Rolls is the ultimate reward for the successful entrepreneur, admission to an elite club whose members include sultans, sheikhs,

ROLLS-ROYCE’S GHOST SERIES II IS PURE AUTOMOTIVE ART

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SPECS ENGINE 6.6 L TWIN-TURBO V12 POWER 563 HP GEARBOX 8-SPEED   AUTOMATIC PERFORMANCE 0-100KPH IN 5.0SECS, PRICE AED 1,085,000

SHARP

AUTO magnates and assorted billionaires. Its customers are used to getting their way, and Rolls-Royce is happy to oblige. The Ghost Series II may be the bottom of the company’s range, but that seems almost irrelevant in terms of the experience it offers. It’s still a Rolls-Royce, and as such, it’s worlds beyond just about anything else on the road. The interior is swathed in sumptuous wood and buttery leather (the latter sourced only from bulls raised in mountaintop pastures, far from mosquitoes and barbed wire, which can mar their hides). Chrome accents are plentiful, and plastic virtually non-existent (you can find it, but you have to really look). The carpets are of the softest lambs wool, and the 18-speaker sound system turns the cabin into

a moveable symphony hall. There’s also the very bright and sharp 10.25-inch highdefinition screen, as well as a touchpad and crystal bedazzled rotary controller (Enya approved) that apes Smartphone-style ‘pinch’ functionality. Under the hood thrums a 6.6-litre V12 good for 563 horsepower and 575 lb-ft of torque. Save for the tsunami-like wave of torque that pushes the car forward when you depress the accelerator, you’d scarcely know that beastly engine was there, so blissfully absent are road noise and vibration. A satellite-aided transmission scans the road ahead for curves and downshifts in anticipation, making for a seamless delivery of power. The ride – to say the least – is fairly magic, but also lives in the physical

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AUTO

world; if you assault some pock marked highway, you’re bound to feel it. But really, the ride is about as unflappable as one can expect. It’s silent, relaxed, and stately out on the road, allowing passengers to focus on whatever it is they’d like to be occupied with. The car also has an advanced infotainment system; heated, cooled, massaging seats; and a bevy of other impressive

on-board accoutrements, but listing them here seems beside the point. It would be akin to talking about the HVAC (heating, ventilation, and air conditioning system) at Falling Water or the paper stock of a Picasso sketch. What it does is entirely secondary to what it is: a statement, an indulgence, a reward, and yes, perhaps a work of art, too. It might just be the world’s most practical car you’ll actually want.

WE CAN’T LIVE IN THE PAST, AND THE CAYMAN GT4 CERTAINLY DOESN’T EITHER, BUT IT’S GREAT TO ALSO VIEW THE CAR AS A NOD TO WHAT SO MANY LOVE ABOUT THE HISTORIC RIAT HELPED DEFINE THE MARQUE. MAY/JUNE 2015 SHARP MIDLE EAST 87

DRIVEN TO

SUCCESS AN EMIRATI MARKETING PROFESSIONAL AND AVID ATHLETE, AHMAD AL FAHIM GOES BEHIND THE WHEELS OF THE FERRARI CALIFORNIA T AND SHARES HIS FORMULA FOR SUCCESS

HMAD AL FAHIM owned his first motorbike when he was only six years old. Since then, he’s been in love with speed and winning. He began competing in motorsports when he was in his early teens. “I used to go with my cousins to my grandfather’s farm and we would race on their motorbikes. I loved sports and was a fan of Mohammad Bin Sulayem. So I think I always had the passion for competition,” he says. By the time Al Fahim was 18, he had won the Dubai Desert Baja Race on his motocross. He continued racing and won several challenges, including the 1999 UAE Endurance Race. He triumphed in several events, until in 2001 he had an accident and seriously injured his back during the UAE Desert Challenge motocross race. “It was quite a traumatic experience. I stopped racing for a while and decided to focus on my career. In the UAE, being a professional athlete is considered just a hobby. I realised I needed a real job, so I pursued my education and started working until I completed my MBA.” Al Fahim is currently the executive director of marketing, communications, sales and leasing at Tourism Development and Investment Company (TDIC), the Abu Dhabi-based developer. With his career in full gear, Al Fahim’s passion for motorsports inspired him to return to motocross racing after eight years. In his first race, he managed to achieve second place at the Desert X Baja. “My sense

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of competition kicked in and I felt confident racing again. I was leading in the championships until the third race where I crashed and hurt myself again. So I decided to quit motorbikes and race cars instead,” Al Fahim explains. The love of competition and the proper skills helped Al Fahim overcome psychological and physical traumas, and the flashbacks of pain. “It takes a lot of guts to race motorbikes, especially when you have a family and responsibilities; you start to think twice if it’s worth it. Being more experienced and mature helped me get back into the game. That’s because I am a risk taker and I push myself to achieve.” Al Fahim discovered his passion for jet skis while he was at the beach one day. He saw himself comfortable with the idea of racing them, and he was good at it. He placed third in his first race. His second competition was the UAE jet ski championship which he won, which consequently qualified him for the 1997 world championship in Greece. Over the following years, he was competing and winning at major jet ski events in the Middle East Asia, and Europe. “Nothing is impossible if you put your mind to it and work hard,” he says. “Being an athlete allows you to believe in yourself, it makes you more calm and confident, especially if you are winning. I learned the power of silence – to talk less and deliver more.” Al Fahim recently discovered the triathlon, a three-segment race which

traditionally involves cycling, running and swimming. But the variation he’s been involved in involves horseback riding instead of swimming. “It all started when I became fond of horse horse-riding. I lost some weight that was needed for horse back riding and started practicing. I found myself gradually racing triathlons – running, cycling and horseback riding. I am now obsessed with it.” He trains one to three hours daily with the help of a professional coach, and maintains a specific diet, consuming up to six meals a day. Al Fahim plans to participate in one of the world’s toughest triathlon competitions – the Ironman. He is aiming for the world championship race taking place in Hawaii this coming October. And that’s not all. His passion for motorsports will see him join the famous Paris-Dakar car rally, which will be held through parts of South America. “My inspiration is to achieve, always being well prepared. Planning makes a big difference in my life, and having an objective helps in my motivation. The difference between a normal person and a successful person is that the normal person would wake up and do the same thing every day, whereas a successful person plan well ahead and goes out of his way to focus on new objectives.” With enough on his plate, Al Fahim has learned to find the right balance to accommodate sports, family, social life and business. “It just needs discipline.”

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FERRARI & SHARP

FERRARI CALIFORNIA T The Ferrari California T epitomises elegance, sportiness, versatility and exclusivity: characteristics that have distinguished every California model since the 1950s. The California T boasts striking standards of innovation while retaining signature features such as the successful 2+ concept, a refined cabin and, of course, the retractable hard top which transforms it from a chic coupĂŠ into a sleekly sophisticated spider in a mere 14 seconds.

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FERRARI & SHARP FERRARI CALIFORNIA T

NEW TURBO ENGINE The model brims with a host of new solutions, not least of which is its 8-cylinder turbo engine. Maranelloâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s engineers have created an entirely new power unit which delivers absolutely superb levels of performance, blistering pick-up and the most exhilarating soundtrack any turbo has ever yielded. The turbo engine helps cut fuel consumption and carbon emissions. Compared to the outgoing model, fuel consumption is down by around 15 per cent despite 70 per cent more power and 49 per cent increase in torque; while CO2 emissions are down by 20 per cent. The California Tâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s engine also benefits from several other solutions used on the single-seater, not least compact, very low inertia twin-scroll turbines to ensure ultra-sharp throttle response.

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FERRARI & SHARP FERRARI CALIFORNIA T

SEVEN-YEAR MAINTENANCE Available in the UAE from Al Tayer Motors, Ferrariâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s unparalleled quality standards and increasing focus on client service underpin the extended seven-year maintenance programme offered with the California T. This scheduled maintenance programme for the California T is an exclusive service that allows clients the certainty that their car is being kept at peak performance and safety over the years. The Genuine Maintenance programme further broads the range of after-sales services offered by Ferrari to satisfy clients wishing to preserve the performance and excellence that are the signatures of all cars built in Maranello which itself has long been synonymous with leading-edge technology and sportiness.

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THE ARMENIAN

BY MAAN HAMZI

THE DAY THE WORLD STOOD STILL

PEOPLE ACROSS THE GLOBE RECENTLY CAME TOGETHER TO COMMEMORATE THE TWO MILLION ARMENIANS WHO WERE TORTURED, EXTERMINATED AND EXILED FROM THEIR HOMELAND 100 YEARS AGO; THEY MARCHED AND PRAYED IN THE NAME OF HUMAN RIGHTS

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Between 1915 and 1923 a systematic and deliberate campaign of genocide by the Ottoman Empire resulted in the deaths of over 1.5 million Armenians and the exile of a nation from its historic homeland. Another 500,000 people were banished – innocent men, women and children were abandoned in the wilderness, orphaned, starved and left totally in despair. The massive atrocities that occurred a century ago against innocent communities would turn out to be a precedent for a series of 21st century genocidal violence. With two million Armenian men, women and children tortured, murdered and exiled from their deep-rooted homeland – which they’ve shared with their ancestors for over four-and-ahalf thousand years – the international community would pay a heavy price over the following century for the sheer dereliction of such a heinous crime that began in 1915. Call it karma, this blood-stained part of history is a cruel lesson we have all inherited. Today many scholars claim, that had the Armenian Genocide at its time been universally acknowledged as an act against humanity and the Turkish government held accountable for its brutal actions, we would not have had six million killed during the Holocaust of World War II, or three million murdered under the brutal Khmer Rouge regime in Cambodia, or thousands annihilated in the 1995 Srebrenica massacre of the Bosnian War, or Rwanda, where the world cold-heartedly watched on their TV screens in 1994 one million people get slaughtered in just 100 days. And there is Darfur in Sudan, where 400,000 people have been killed and over 2.7 million maimed, injured and displaced, meanwhile millions continue to suffer and are desperately dependent on humanitarian aid. One may simply wonder: why all this cruelty? What compels one race to coerce dominance over another to the point it seeks to target a specific group of people, to annihilate them and their culture completely off the face of the earth? 98 SHARP MIDDLE EAST MAY/JUNE 2015

More troubling is the question we should ask ourselves: where is the conscience of humanity during such wicked atrocities? Perhaps it is the negligence or the lack of consciousness of the masses that these massacres continue to take place right before our eyes. Nowadays, we have human rights courts, easier access to documentation and more global organisations – both governmental and independent – working for the betterment of our society that can immediately stand up to apparent transgressions. We are instantly made aware of any major occurrences through the media – thanks to the advent of social media, we can connect with voices around the word in asserting our objections. And individuals can make the choice – to act for humanity or turn a blind eye and suffer the consequences. In 1915, the world failed to take a proper stance to wholly protect the Armenians from slaughter. With the rise of totalitarian regimes in Europe during the 1920’s and 1930’s and the outbreak of World War II, the genocide perpetrated against the people of Armenia was largely forgotten. Sources reveal that Adolf Hitler was inspired by how the Young Turks got away with the extermination of the Armenians, and thus would justify his vicious campaign in conducting similar brutal tactics against the Jews of Europe. In fact, Hitler himself professed that no one would remember the atrocities and human sufferings endured by the Armenians, years prior to unleashing his plans for the holocaust. “Who, after all, speaks today of the annihilation of the Armenians?” he had stated eight days before he rallied his troops for the invasion of Poland in 1939.

ARMENIAN ORPHANS IN ECHMIADZIN, ARMENIA

RUSSIAN SOLDIERS OBSERVING THE REMNANTS OF ARMENIANS BURNT ALIVE NEAR THE CITY OF MUSH IN 1915

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Between 1915 and 1923 a systematic and deliberate campaign of genocide by the Ottoman Empire resulted in the deaths of over 1

Consequently, the 24th of April represents the symbolic beginning of the Armenian Genocide for Armenia and its peoples in diaspora. Even beyond the staggering number of deaths, Turkey sought to exterminate any trace of Armenians – from the intellectual elite to the helpless women, elders and children. And their cultures and traditions were to be obliterated too. Nearly 2,500 Armenian churches and monasteries and 1,900 Armenian schools existing in 1914 were destroyed. Turkish scholar Sevan Nisanyan developed an online index capturing the massive renaming campaign that occurred under ‘Turkification’ policies throughout the 20th century. He has identified 3,600 geographical places in Turkey that once bore Armenian names that have been given new Turkish names. The massacres of 1915 and the eight-year period to follow had marked the brutal culmination of events stretching back to 1894, when 300,000 Armenians were exterminated by orders of the Ottoman regime. And in 1909, a further 21,000 perished – all before what is generally considered to be the true genocide beginning six years later. While the Armenians were the primary targets of this genocide, the Turkish government also deported and murdered Assyrians, Greeks, other Christians and minority communities. This state‐run campaign of extermination was, following the defeat of the Ottoman Empire, actively continued by the forces of Mustafa Kemal, the founder of the present-day Turkish republic. The Armenians who were fortunate to escape the genocide made their way across the border into Syria, crossing arid desert terrains, and eventually found refuge in cities and towns in Syria and Lebanon, where they have assimilated into the local communities.

It is interesting to note that the term “genocide” did not exist prior to the Second World War. A Polish-born American scholar and lawyer Raphael Lemkin invented the word to characterise the deliberate campaign by the Young Turk government to destroy the Armenian nation. Lemkin, who was a Holocaust survivor, explained that his interest in the subject of genocide grew out his knowledge of the premeditated annihilation of the Armenians and his realisation that this systematic mass murder provided a blueprint for Hitler’s plans to exterminate Jews during World War II.

n the evening of April 24, 1915, over 250 Armenian community leaders, clergymen, writers, poets, educators and intellectuals were rounded up by Turkish authorities, taken from their homes and later executed. In a single night’s sweep the voice of the representatives of the Armenian nation in Turkey was silenced. This tragic event was only the beginning of an unfolding, systematic policy of deportation and ethnic cleansing being implemented by the Young Turk government who had risen to power. 100 SHARP MIDDLE EAST MAY/JUNE 2015

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though they have openly condemned the acts. On the world stage, governments with political interests – building bridges with super economic powers, fostering NATO alliances and investing in oil-rich regimes – may be stumbling to find the right words to condemn cruel acts. Unfortunately, millions of suffering souls every day are becoming casualties of oppression, wars they never chose to be part of and human rights abuses for merely for being alive, let alone themselves. And mankind’s conscience is immobilised, now and in the hereafter… Nevertheless, we are all victims of the brutalities of the past: we must not forget the persecutions, nor the death marches, nor the bloodsheds; and that every citizen in this world deserves to live in freedom protected from the menaces of fear, violence and destruction perpetrated by people who infuse hatred. In the words of Pope Francis uttered during the mass on April 12th, “It seems that the human family has refused to learn from its mistakes caused by the law of terror, so that today too there are those who attempt to eliminate others with the help of a few and with the complicit silence of others who simply stand by. We have not yet learned that war is madness, senseless slaughter.” Madness, indeed. Let us pray madness does not consume the world. ARMENIAN GIRLS OF THE MUSH ORPHANAGE WITH THEIR TEACHER, WHO WERE ALL LATER BURNED ALIVE BY THE TURKISH ARMY

CONCENTRATION SITE OF ARMENIAN REFUGEES IN ALEPPO, WHERE NONEXISTENT SANITATION CAUSED DOZENS OF DEATHS PER DAY

The Armenian Genocide Was Never Only Armenian A conflict resolution expert looks at how compassion could have saved the world

n April 2015, the Armenian diaspora and the international community united to commemorate the centennial of this crime against humanity and to honour its victims and survivors. The Armenian communities and leaders across the world called on Turkey to formally recognise the horrors their state committed against Armenians, who were a minority at the time, as “genocide” and to do right by the families of the victims and survivors. The concerns the Armenian community shares is that this issue is a case of human rights which nations of the world must recognise in order to protect future generations from repeating such mayhems. A public outcry across dozens of nations on April 24 this year – 100 years to the date of the first mass arrests – saw citizens of the world, Armenians and others, marching side by side to commemorate the 1.5 million souls that died and hundreds of thousands that suffered. And the message is very clear: for Turkey to recognise the incident as genocide perpetrated on the Armenian people. Armenian scholars have made it a point to claim that that crimes inflicted in 1915 were not just on their own people – but on humanity as a whole. A statement released by one Armenian committee boldly stated: “The continued denial of this genocide emboldens those who would seek to commit genocide in the future.” Despite the documentation and eyewitness reports depicting these atrocities, horrors of the Armenian genocide are made worse by the refusal of the Turkish government to acknowledge that it ever occurred. The Turks attempt to account for the vast decrease in the number of Armenians in Turkey as a consequence of war.

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BY ARMEN BALIAN The verdict of the Turkish courts-martial of 1919-20 acknowledged the Armenian Genocide – then referred to as “war crimes” - and sentenced the perpetrators to death. However, in 1921, during the resurgence of the Turkish National Movement, amnesty was given to those found guilty. Thereafter, the successive Turkish government under Ataturk adopted a policy of continuous denial. Since then, numerous politicians from around the world have advocated for their governments to officially recognise the Armenian Genocide as well as pressure Turkey to admit to the crimes committed in 1915. So far 27 nations, including Russia, France, Canada and Germany, have recognised the events as ‘genocide’. Other countries on the list include Lebanon, Belgium, Italy, Switzerland and even the Vatican. At a recent mass held at St Peter’s Basilica to commemorate the 100th anniversary of the Armenian massacre, Pope Francis referred to the tragic incident as “the first genocide of the 20th century”. Although quite impactful to the point it angered the Ankara government, the reference coming from the Holy See was nothing new as Pope John Paul II had professed the exact declaration in 2001. Other bodies have also blatantly avowed their acknowledgements. In 1997, the International Association of Genocide Scholars passed a resolution unanimously recognising the Ottoman massacres of Armenians as genocide. The pontiff’s statement was commended by the European Parliament, which proceeded to back a motion on April 15, 2015 to endorse the term “genocide” when alluding to the 1915 atrocities. However, many governments still shy away from referring to the tragic events of 1915 to 1923 by the word “genocide,” even

This year the world widely, officially and sympathetically commemorated the centennial of the Armenian Genocide. A hopeful sight for humanity, a sight which was missing in 1915 when the first premeditated, systematically implemented genocide of the twentieth century was executed. Then, except for some diligent humanitarian organisations and some humane intellectuals, the world and governments stood silent and let it pass. That official silence was damning for humanity, and it did not pass. That silence proved to be an acquiescence which helped create a precedent in modern human history, a prototype of genocidal ethnic and geographic cleansing. This prototype and the global silence at its first usage paved the way for its ruthless repetition and bloody emulation in the holocaust, then in Cambodia, also in Srebrenica, then Rwanda and then Darfur. In the entire 20th century, humanity, through the use of violence in the forms of genocide, wars and ethnic cleansings, lost 100 million lives. That averages to a million murdered every year. Humans are the only species who have inflicted such carnage on their own kind since the dawn of the planet. What is the missing factor? The chief architects of the first two genocides have the answer. Talaat Pasha, the Turkish Minister of

the Interior who played a major part in orchestrating the Armenian massacres, stated in September 1915: “...all of the Armenians living in Turkey are to be destroyed and annihilated... Without taking into consideration the fact that they are women and children and disabled, their very existence will be ended, regardless of how terrible the means of the destruction may be, and without being moved by feeling of compassion.” Around a quarter of a century later, Adolf Hitler, a few days before his invasion of Poland, stated: “I have placed my deathhead formation in readiness…with orders to them to send to death mercilessly and without compassion, men, women, and children of Polish derivation and language. Only thus shall we gain the living space which we need. Who, after all, speaks today of the annihilation of the Armenians?” The missing link was compassion. The predominant use of violence and homicidal coercion as a form of conflict resolution. The complete disregard and unawareness of the sanctity of life. This was the legacy of the Armenian Genocide for the entire twentieth century. In genocide all are victims; the killed and the killers. With the former, humans fell. With the latter, humanity fell. And where do we go from here? Will humanity be able to go beyond remembrance and into enhanced

awareness? If political ideologies, religious and ethnic exclusivist mentalities and economic insensitivity are to rule peoples’ heads and hearts, this new century will not be different from the last. A century of wars, genocides, ethnic cleansing and hate could have been very different had leaders in authoritative places had more compassion with their fellow humans, and not kept silent from the first genocide onwards. Had mass-murder and ethnic cleansing been formally condemned as a form of systematic political conflict resolution, global politics would have evolved very differently and cooperation would have been celebrated instead of compulsion. If we can see and embrace the dignity inherent in every single life regardless of race, religion, nation or country, we will establish a global community of compassion based on a universal awareness of the sanctity of life in all its forms. We all share a common responsibility toward this planet and all forms of life coexisting on it and specially our own species. If we can learn from the past century’s genocides and nurture this awareness, then all would not have been lost. Then we as a collective human family would rise after the fall. Let us nurture compassion so we avoid commiseration.

* Armen Balian is the Executive Director of Lebanon Conflict Resolution Network-LCRN. He lectures, trains, consults and coaches on collaborative management.

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JAY ABDO BREAKING THROUGH THE BARRIERS FROM BEING ONE OF THE MOST POPULAR ACTORS ON MIDDLE EAST TV TO SUDDENLY LOSING HIS CAREER OVERNIGHT, THIS SYRIAN ARTIST IS ON THE RISE AGAIN. AND HE’S ON A ROLL BY MAAN HAMZI 96 SHARP 104 SHARPMIDDLE MIDDLEEAST EASTMAY/JUNE MAY/JUNE2015 2015

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HERE’S A STORY THAT SHOULD BE TOLD. IT’S ABOUT A MAN, A SELF-MADE MAN WHO HAD SET TO PURSUE HIS DREAM AS AN ACTOR; AND HE STROVE TO BECOME ONE, A VERY SUCCESSFUL ACTOR. THEN SUDDENLY, IN ONE NIGHT HE LOST IT ALL – HIS FAME, FORTUNE AND HIS LIVELIHOOD – SIMPLY BECAUSE HE UTTERED THE TRUTH. BUT THIS IS NOT THE FULL STORY. IT ACTUALLY ENDS ON A BETTER NOTE. After two years of desperately struggling to make ends meet as a refugee in a foreign land, he comes face-to-face with his dream once again. And in an extraordinary twist of fate, he rises to fame once again – this time, as a global Hollywood star. That’s Jay Abdo for you. In his Syrian homeland, and among his family, friends and millions of Arab fans, he has always been recognised as Jihad Abdo. But upon seeking refuge in the United States after escaping life threats in wartorn Syria, he had to alter his first name, which translates to ‘holy war’ in Arabic, to a more acceptable and ‘safer’ Westernised version – Jay. “You mention the word jihad in the West and people stop and stare at you shockingly. After moving to the US, I had to explain to every person I met that it was just an ordinary name in the Middle East, and that I have no interest in wars. The irony is that I’ve been a pacifist my entire life,” says Abdo. It’s not an easy thing to be changing a part of your identity after 50 years, especially when your career depends on it. Being at the top of his league as an actor for over 30 years in the Middle East, he covered almost everything from popular theatrical productions to epic TV dramas, starring in more than 40 movies and 20 plays. It was a huge shift for Abdo to move to the West and be recognised in a new environment, a world he had never before been exposed to directly. “Now that I am in the US, I feel I have been granted a responsibility to deliver all the messages that I longed to shed light on which I couldn’t before because of the circumstances. The role I represent today is global, and my audience is much broader. Coming to Hollywood, I felt like I had to convey the needs of the people who have accompanied me throughout my journey, while not forgetting my roots,” he explains. It is obvious how much artists are driven by the passion to

freely express their thoughts and imaginations. Abdo feels this was missing at some point in his career. “It is rather enchanting when we become involved in artistic expression, and so we cannot but venture deep within ourselves. As artists, we become more selective and seek valuable roles that can inspire and highlight awareness on various matters in society. And this includes anything from social issues to human rights.” During the 1990s and 2000s, Syrian drama increasingly gained prominence in the Arab cinematic world, mainly for its pragmatic approach, realistic plots and sensational characterisation. It was during that time that Abdo established a name for himself starring in major roles like Bab Al Hara (‘The Neighbourhood’s Gate’), the television series viewed by tens of millions of people. Becoming a reputable actor gained him the privilege of choosing the roles that he desired to play, of course, within certain sociopolitical confines. Needless to say, under any dictatorship regime one can easily become disillusioned by the proximities to the boundaries of self-censorship. And Abdo, like others in his field, had to ‘play’ along. “Governments are experts on using art as a propaganda tool, we’ve seen this happen all over the world, “ says Abdo. “I had dreams and big ideas which I tried to write or even share with other writers, but unfortunately I was not able to fully project my thoughts. There were always strict limitations.” Since moving to the US and making it big, Abdo feels he will be able to pursue his dreams. “In Hollywood, you have a bigger chance to manifest your ideas considering there is a greater possibility of being accepted with a larger spectrum of freedom to express yourself.” Abdo’s story takes a turning point in August 2011 when he was interviewed by a Los Angeles Times reporter in which for the first time in his life he publicly criticised the regime MAY/JUNE 2015 SHARP MIDDLE EAST 107

in Syria. Although his intent was to remain “off the record”, the newspaper divulged his denunciatory comments. He explains how that moment completely transformed his life. “From the very beginning the uprising began in Syria, I fully rejected the violence. But I had kept silent because we lived in fear and terror for many long years. In any given country under a democratic regime, one may be punished for his actions according to just laws; but in Syria, you can end up imprisoned for life without a fair trial,” he says. “As artists, there were also divisions among the artistic community, because they were expected to support the regime through their work – but that I refused. So when I met the American journalist in Beirut, she confronted me with questions about freedom of speech in Syria; and we agreed to talk off the record. I was really scared at first. Then she switched off the tape recorder and I poured my heart out, talking about the injustices that confronted us. A few days later, I saw the interview published in the paper, and I was absolutely petrified. The controversial statements I had made were in the report. I’ve never been so scared in my entire life; yet somehow oddly enough, I felt victorious for breaking the silence and the chain of fear. I was reborn a different person, and now I have a new role to play. I never regret that day.” When Abdo arrived to the US, he barely had any resources and had to start from scratch. The Syrian government had frozen his bank accounts, and he was desperate. After 16 months of being unsuccessful in relentlessly scouting for a job in the movie industry, he finally opted for survivor jobs working in a flower shop and then as a deliveryman for Domino’s Pizza in Los Angeles. “I was desperate to do something,” Abdo recalls. “Over three millions people come to LA every year and leave without achieving anything. Jim Carry had to sleep in his car for a long while before he made it. I knew I had to start somewhere. I was eager to learn the American culture and delve into the psyche of society. I needed to relate.” Despite the hardships, Abdo never gave up the pursuit of his dream. In 2013, he eventually managed to land roles in smallbudget movies, such as the 15-minute film Father’s Revenge, and We’ve Got Balls, a comic flick where he plays a butler in a small town trying to save a bowling alley from 108 SHARP MIDDLE EAST MAY/JUNE 2015

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“I WAS DESPERATE TO DO SOMETHING. OVER THREE MILLION PEOPLE COME TO LOS ANGELES EVERY YEAR AND LEAVE WITHOUT ACHIEVING ANYTHING. JIM CARRY HAD TO SLEEP IN HIS CAR FOR A LONG WHILE BEFORE HE MADE IT. I KNEW I HAD TO START SOMEWHERE.”

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“I LOST ALMOST EVERYTHING, BUT NOW I REALISE MY JOURNEY WAS NOT IN VAIN. AS AN ARTIST, YOU CAN’T HELP BUT BE A CRITIC, AND A SEEKER OF FREEDOM AND CHANGE.”

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destruction. For a man who grew up idolising the masters of cinema – from Federico Fellini to Pedro Almodovar – he wasn’t ready to settle for less. His big break finally came when Nick Raslan, a Syrian-American producer who had recognised Abdo, introduced him to the legendary filmmaker Werner Herzog who was gearing up to shoot a new movie. So when Abdo heard about the new movie, he was eager to try out for the casting. “The casting director saw my work and liked what I had done, but he informed me they were still trying out for the role. After three weeks, he came back to me with the job. It was my time,” he says. The film, titled Queen of the Desert, is a biopic of British officer and spy Gertrude Bell, who travelled extensively throughout the Middle East region playing a major role in the region’s 20th century political affairs. Due to be released this September, the film stars Nicole Kidman, who plays Bell, as well as James Franco and Robert Pattinson. Abdo plays a significant role in the movie, as Fattuh, the guide who accompanies Bell on her journey. Kidman was really impressed with Abdo’s performance and praised him in public for his acting skills. “Nicole Kidman is a true professional, very cooperative and a great listener. She stood by my ideas when I was improvising my character,” Abdo says. “Queen of the Desert was a great experience and I had amazing feedback. All this has boosted my confidence. Everything I’ve gone through has finally paid off.” But the journey seems to be just beginning. Abdo has been chosen to act in Tom Tykwer’s latest film, A Hologram for the King, a story about an unsuccessful businessman starring Tom Hanks. Abdo plays a doctor in a Saudi hospital. “I have accomplished a lot in my life and I am very proud of it. My experience in America changed me; it shaped me into a positive person learning new things about myself. It shattered my ego and I became like everyone else. My mind became clearer and I started thinking of the big picture, my ultimate goal in life.” What sets Abdo apart from the crowd is his tireless determination to achieve. He plays the violin really well, and also speaks five languages: Arabic, English, Romanian, Russian and Spanish. Although he now happily resides in LA with his wife Fadia Afashe, who is a visual artist, Abdo reminisces of his fond memories of Syria. “I miss the streets of Damascus. I miss the people, and my family and my village, Deir Attieh. I hope will go back one day,” he says, tears in his eyes. “I lost almost everything; but now I realise my journey was not in vain. Living in fear, there were two ways to survive: either you abide by the regime’s demands or you escape. I was threatened because I decided that my responsibility was to focus on the core values of humanity and to speak up even if it didn’t conform with the government’s principles. As an artist, you can’t help but be a critic, and a seeker of freedom and change,” concludes Abdo. “There’s always light at the end of the tunnel, and those days of darkness shall be over.” MAY/JUNE 2015 SHARP MIDDLE EAST 113

ITâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;S BOOMING, STILL BOOMING

Sine the end of the global economic crisis, salaries in the region have been on the rise as more jobseekers find this part of the world still very prospective.

he Gulf region is one of the most prospective in the world for jobseekers. Despite conflicts in neighbouring countries and fall in oil prices, the regionâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s strong economic growth and competitiveness has been luring jobseekers from all corners of the planet into diverse industries. Recent reports by several independent agencies and employment firms have indicated significant upsurge in growth over the past year with companies boosting their headcount and employees benefiting from increased salaries. Pay rises across the region averaged 7 percent in 2014, the highest average increase since the 2008 financial crisis. Salaries are projected to accelerate further this year; depending on the sector, expect an average of 10 percent. Meanwhile, more job opportunities are opening up, particularly since there has been an increase in the population of

expatriates desperately seeking work from regional countries with economic hardships and political turmoil. So far, there has been a 15 percent surge in the number of new jobs in the market over the year, and this trend is predicted to continue growing in 2015. Having said so, some countries in the Gulf have been quite conservative in opening up their borders to workers from nearby war-ravaged nations. This has created some pressure on employers in a market that is encountering demand for human resources across the board. In particular, Syrians and Egyptians have encountered challenges in having their visa applications processed, many being instantly rejected. There is no doubt that this strong demand to fill the increasing number of job vacancies will have to lure in more expatriates, which the region is so highly dependent on anyway. Meanwhile, countries like Saudi Arabia, UAE and Oman have been empowering their youth to integrate into the local

BY MAAN HAMZI

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ECONOMY

from very low retention as of late. This comes as a result of the relatively high cost of living. Moreover, the nation saw a slump in recruitment during the past year due to ambiguities over the awarding of the World Cup, hence hindering the interrelated infrastructure projects in the pipeline. In addition, many employees have feel threatened from a law prohibiting expatriates from switching companies; hence many have been compelled to relocate to other countries. Despite this, more than 60 percent of firms in Qatar have expressed their willingness to invest in more human resources this year.

A workforce by creating programmes and job opportunities that specifically target them. With local populations growing in the GCC, it is expected that nationals will occupy a higher percentage of the opportunities being offered while economies will be less dependant on foreign talent. As a result, there has been more pressure on employers by regional governments to hire local talent. Most Gulf currencies are pegged to the US Dollar, which has seen significant growth over the past year as the United States has rebounded from the financial crisis. As the dollar gains in strength, so has it reflected well on Gulf economies where are higher salaries lure in more expatriates who get more buck for their earnings. In retrospect, this eases the burden on wages. According to the online recruitment portal Gulf Talent, the UAE tops the list as one of most popular destinations for job seekers in the region, with Dubai taking a big slice of the pie. The country enjoys the highest retention rate among all Gulf states. A survey indicated that over 60 percent of professionals preferred the UAE as the place where 116 SHARP MIDDLE EAST MAY/JUNE 2015

they would like to work, while 88 percent of expatriates already living in the country desired to remain there.

atar ranks second on the list of popular destinations among prospective expatriate jobseekers. This is due to the country’s investment in diverse economic sectors, including healthcare, education and culture. The successful bid of the 2022 FIFA World Cup bid has brightened the spotlight on this tiny Gulf state, which has – for the most part of the last century – been thriving on oil and natural gas to fuel its economy. Today, the Doha government is investing in state-ofthe-art infrastructure with fancy architecture, man-made islands and world-class museums. Add to that relatively political stability and liberal social norms, it has become quite a coveted destination to seek employment. However, this gas-rich peninsula – which boasts one of the world’s highest per capita income – is suffering

nother country experiencing very low retention rate among its expatriate community is Oman. Like Qatar, it has also imposed a ban on expatriates changing employment. In hindsight, Oman had the highest salary increase among its GCC neighbours this past year after the creation of trade unions, which is a first for the region. The unions have proven to be quite influential in collective bargaining with employers and have impacted an increase in wages. The slowdown in Oman can also be attributed to the government’s cutback on infrastructure projects due to relatively lower cash reserves. Bahrain, which has had its fair share of political problems over the past few years, has seen its job market suffer. The government has also cut down on developmental investments. The island has suffered the lowest job creation in the region with only 22 percent of companies expanding in 2014. The country one should keep an eye on is Saudi Arabia, the economic giant of the Arab world. Over the past decade, it has gradually opened up and introduced social reforms. With more than half of its population under 18 years of age, the kingdom is leading the job creation market. It has topped the list of companies in the Gulf expanding their human resources with more than 70 percent of Saudi-based firms increasing their headcount. Companies vied to focus on employing local talent, resulting in driving salaries higher. The road ahead for employers as well as jobseekers is quite prosperous as expectations are running high across thriving sectors. The industry witnessing the most growth in the GCC is healthcare, where more sound regulations have been enforced. Also public funding is being injected to fuel the sector encouraging globally recognized institutions to expand in to the region, such as Cleveland Clinic in Abu Dhabi and Weill Cornell Medical College in Qatar. Meanwhile, the financial sector has been in huge demand for professionals in the region, hence accounting for 36 percent rise in wages for those in managerial positions. Although the region has seen a surge in real estate prices, the cost of living in the Gulf has increased. One can only question if the salary increases have kept pace with the rising expenses. MAY/JUNE 2015 SHARP MIDLE EAST 117

K P ! A R U C C INSIDE THE LAUGH-A-MINUTE WORLD OF

JIMMY FALLON TALK SHOW HOST FATHER GROWN-UP MAN BY PETER SALTSMAN

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S H ARP MAGAZI NE .C O M 81

JIMMY FALLON

JIMMY FALLON NEEDS TO SHAVE HIS CHEST.

audiences and the whole elaborate star system of which they’re not just a part, but on top. If you’re Jimmy Fallon, what’s not to laugh about?

It’s 11 a.m. on a Thursday, and The Tonight Show host, who is a boyish 40, is getting ready to make himself look like a 15-year-old girl by way of a shaved torso and a tube top. It’s all in the service of an Saturday Night Live-style sketch with this evening’s musical guest, the pop singer Ariana Grande. In the sketch, which Fallon will tape around 3 p.m. and which will air sometime in the show’s second block, he plays a snotty, nasal-voiced teenager hosting a Wayne’s World-esque show from her parents’ basement, talking to Grande (who, it should be said, looks legitimately and a little uncomfortably like a 15-year-old-girl) about the absurdities of Instagram, pop music and parents. On its surface, the show-withina-show looks tailor-made to play up the strengths of the guest. The sketch hinges

GROWING UP IN BROOKLYN under the shadows of 30 Rock and the Manhattan skyline, all Jimmy Fallon wanted was to be on Saturday Night Live. He’d stay up at night as a teenager, drinking a beer benevolently left out by his parents and snacking on a bowl of chips, laughing by himself in the semi-darkness, planning his future. “I preferred to watch it by myself,” he says, “because I really wanted to focus. I didn’t want anyone talking over it or saying, ‘I dunno, that’s not so funny.’ I just didn’t want to hear anyone else’s opinion.” He idolised that first couple of casts: Belushi, Gilda Radner and Chevy Chase; Mike Myers, Dana Carvey and Phil Hartman. He used to do Chase-like pratfalls down his stairs onto a pile of paper plates. “And then I’d stand up and

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on a brief sing-off, in which Fallon’s teenage alter-ego challenges—and is handily beaten by—Grande’s. It’s a rare candid, un-auto-tuned moment for the singer, one that makes her look both humble and supremely talented. But, really, the sketch is built for Fallon. Somewhere around the halfway mark, he begins to lose character and has every intention of dragging Grande with him. When Grande’s character confesses to a girl-crush on Richard Dreyfuss, that’s it. They’re both cracking up—not, presumably, at the joke, which is only half-funny, but at the preposterousness of the situation. Look at them: two of the most famous people in the world right now, sitting on a soundstage couch in pigtails and sequins, drinking green smoothies and making fun of themselves, their core

go, ‘Live, from New York, it’s Saturday Night!’” Eventually, Fallon would get to yell that line for real, over and over again for the better part of a decade. That’s probably how you know him, actually, as a member of the early 2000s SNL cast—that boyish guy cracking up behind Will Ferrell or Tina Fey, visibly having the time of his life. By that measure of success— achieving his “ultimate, ultimate, ultimate goal”— Fallon has more than exceeded even his own expectations. He’s blown past all markers, really. That dream came true 15 years ago. All the rest? The movies, Late Night, The Tonight Show? That’s just icing on the cake. “I never thought about hosting The Tonight Show or replacing Johnny Carson,” he says. “I never thought there would be a replacement for Johnny Carson. I thought he just came with the television set.”

THE TRUTH IS, Fallon isn’t just another SNL alumnus. He’s SNL’s golden boy, handpicked by Lorne Michaels (whom he still speaks to every day) as heir to The Tonight Show legacy, king of the biggest throne in all of late night, if not all of television. Think that’s an overstatement? Consider the Saturday Night Live 40th Anniversary special, which aired earlier this year. For a fanboy like Fallon, this was heaven—a reassembling of all the SNL greats for a one-night-only comedy extravaganza. Studio 8H was filled to the brim with some of New York’s best talent and biggest names, including guest hosts like Steve Martin and Alec Baldwin, musical guests like Paul McCartney and Paul Simon, and former SNL cast members like Chris Rock, Jane Curtin, Tina Fey, Amy Poehler, Bill Murray, Norm Macdonald, Adam Sandler and Eddie Murphy, to name a few. And Fallon? He wasn’t just there. He opened the whole damn show—lights

come up, it’s just him with a top hat and cane until he’s interrupted by his pal Justin Timberlake, launching into a rap history of SNL’s greatest hits (which was itself a reimagined version of their wildly popular Tonight Show bit, “A History of Rap”). Then, like he’d practised at the foot of the stairs as a kid, and like he’d done so many times on so many weekends in his 20s, he yelled into the camera: “Live, from New York, it’s Saturday Night!” And, boy, he could barely keep it together. CRACKING UP has become Jimmy Fallon’s signature. His comedy calling card. His biggest skill as a talk show host is getting the people sitting next to him to crack up along with him—to shake their guard and have a little fun. Maybe not as much fun as he’s having, but still. Hugh Jackman seems to honestly enjoy wearing a mullet wig for a game of Musical Beers. Kevin Spacey seems to really be having a blast playing Wheel MAY/JUNE 2015 SHARP MIDLE EAST 121

JIMMY FALLON

“I NEVER THOUGHT ABOUT HOSTING THE TONIGHT SHOW OR REPLACING JOHNNY CARSON. I NEVER THOUGHT THERE WOULD BE A REPLACEMENT FOR JOHNNY CARSON. I THOUGHT HE JUST CAME WITH THE TELEVISION SET.” of Impressions. Jennifer Garner doesn’t seem to mind at all that her turn at Rock, Paper, Scissors, Pie ends with a face-full of whipped cream. And then, of course, there’s Lip Sync Battle, the Fallon staple that’s so popular it has spawned its own show, co-produced by Fallon, The Office’s John Krasinski and British comedian Stephen Merchant, and hosted by LL Cool J—a bona fide phenomenon in and of itself because who doesn’t like watching famous people lose themselves and act like real people, even just for the length of a truncated pop song? And unlike Jimmy Kimmel’s “Celebrities read mean tweets about themselves” or David Letterman’s, well, anything, Fallon’s games aren’t meanspirited, snarky or even remotely tonguein-cheek. They’re just about having good, clean fun. Because, really, that’s all he’s ever done. That’s all he knows how to do. “Colbert told me something that Conan told Colbert that Carson told Conan,” he says. “And that is, with this job, you’ll use everything you know. Everything you’ve ever learned, 122 SHARP MIDDLE EAST MAY/JUNE 2015

everything you’ve ever done, you’ll do numerous times on the air. If you’ve ever fake tap-danced, if you’ve ever done a celebrity impression, anything you’ve picked up in your whole life you’ll use. And it’s true.” His audience can’t get enough. Take that clip he was filming with Ariana Grande. It went up—as all clips from Fallon’s Tonight Show do—on YouTube the day after airing, in this case a Friday morning. By the time Fallon was back on TV Monday night, it had been viewed more than five-and-a-half-million times. And that’s nothing. A clip of him and Taylor Swift dancing in sports jerseys has been watched almost seven million times. A clip of his interview with Nicole Kidman—the one where she admits to having had a crush on him decades ago, and in which he completely loses it (not that we blame him)—was viewed more than 29 million times. And a clip of Daniel Radcliffe rapping the entirety of Blackalicious’s “Alphabet Aerobics” is up at 38 million views and counting. America might not be watching all at once, as it did Carson, but it is watching. Don’t let the Neilson ratings fool you:

Fallon isn’t just winning the battle of his time slot (The Tonight Show regularly gets about four million viewers), he’s winning the battle of television in general. Seen live, his show chugs along at a steady—if not plodding—pace, with only brief moments of actual excitement. But it’s made for the Internet. The Tonight Show is less a talk show and more a series of carefully crafted pieces of shareable content of stars showing why they deserve to be stars. Unchained talent, built to go viral. And, as such, it has become essential viewing—whenever you have a moment to view it. NONE OF THAT IS SURPRISING. Fallon is genuinely affable. He has an infectious smile. He’s charming and boyish, keen to like and be liked in return. What is surprising is that, in real life, Fallon rarely, if ever, cracks up. He is perfectly composed, professional, the picture of a grown-up. He’s more than up to the task of running a nightly comedy program— the schedule for which is undeniably grueling, especially when, as in Fallon’s case, the show occasionally goes live from the road (a recent trip started in Los

Angeles and then did a week in Arizona for the Super Bowl). He has his hands in everything, from booking guests to filling spots for guests who back out, writing monologue jokes to filming pre-taped sketches to picking out his impeccably tailored suits. And through it all, he keeps his trademark grin—or at least, he tries to. “In a weird way, I look forward to problems,” he says. “Because it becomes a thing to solve and then you go, ‘That was fun!’ There are times I’m not smiling but it’s not because I’m mad, it’s just that I’m trying to figure everything out.” One of the things he’s been figuring out lately is fatherhood. Jimmy Fallon loves his kids. Everyone loves their kids, but Jimmy Fallon really, really loves his. He and his wife, the film producer Nancy Juvonen, have two young daughters, and Fallon has been unusually candid about their struggles with infertility and their eventual use of a surrogate. “It’s the best thing that’s ever happened to us,” he says. You have to think he means it. And even though he works long hours, toiling away in the television

factory at his (or someone’s) dream job, he’s determined to be the best father he can be. In fact, he’s enshrined that determination in a kids’ book called Your Baby’s First Word Will Be Dada. You can kind of guess what it’s about—and no, it’s not a joke. Not really. “My oldest baby’s first word was ‘Mama,’” he says. “But my second baby. I’ll give you an update in a year. Because if this works, I deserve some kind of pediatric award. I deserve a doctorate or something.” If it works, it’ll just be another nut Fallon has cracked, another seemingly random life event he’s bent to his will. Because things seem to happen the way Jimmy Fallon wants them to happen. When you’ve got rose-coloured pupils, everything tends to work out for the best. BY SEPTEMBER, the late-night landscape Fallon inherited will be very different. Letterman will have stepped down, bequeathing the reins of the Late Show on CBS to Stephen Colbert. James Corden will follow, opposite Seth Myers on NBC. Jimmy Kimmel will still be there, Jon Stewart won’t.

As Carson, Letterman and Leno have proved, hosting a late-night talk show is a job you can have for life, if you do it right. So far, Fallon seems to be doing it right. Not that he’s getting ahead of himself. “I don’t even know if TV will be here in 10 years,” he says. “I might be doing the show for a mobile phone. But the way it’s going now, I could do the show forever.” Of course, he’s not far off already. Those YouTube clips are his bread and butter, whether they’re viewed on computers or mobile phones. And in the few short years he’s been hosting one of TV’s most storied franchises, he’s already made quite the impression. He’s the man in America’s bedrooms (or living rooms or pockets) at 11:30 p.m., and he just wants to have some fun. Who wouldn’t want him around for a while? “It’s almost like everyone has a friend in common around the country or around the world,” he says. “One day I’m going to have all white hair and people are going to be all like, ‘Remember when you used to be so happy and smile all the time?’ And I’ll just be like, ‘Get out!’ and slam the door…’” MAY/JUNE 2015 SHARP MIDLE EAST 123

“I’M GENERALLY PREPARED, I’M OBSERVANT,  I DON’T OFTEN LOSE MY KEYS. SOMETIMES  I WONDER, THOUGH, IF THESE FRINGE BENEFITS BALANCE OUT A RACING MIND PRONE TO PESSIMISM AND FULL OF UNINVITED BAD PREMONITIONS.”

MORE THAN YOU CAN BARE

Extreme relaxation, it turns out,  isn’t for everyone by j e r e my fr e e d

y first evening at the nude beach, I was invited to a memorial service for a guy named Dave. I’d never met Dave, but several people assured me that, had I had the chance, he would certainly have befriended me. Dave was just that kind of guy. I quickly learned that he was known for three things: his love of Pink Floyd, his staunch commitment to nudism and for making the best brownies in town. A one-time heavy drinker who’d messed up and done a spell behind bars, Dave had cleaned up his act, got sober and found his paradise here at the beach. He and his wife were retired. They spent their winters in Mexico and could usually be found walking down the sand, arm in arm, naked as the day they were born. The band played

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a rendition of “Wish You Were Here.” Someone sang “Dust in the Wind.” A tribute in the corner contained a framed picture of Dave, surrounded by photos of him and his friends from the beach. On top of the urn containing Dave’s ashes, wrapped in foil, was his last brownie. I’m what you’d call an anxious person, my mind a constant stream of worries, what-ifs and potential dangers to be avoided. On occasion this helps me: I’m generally prepared, I’m observant, I don’t often lose my keys. Sometimes I wonder, though, if these fringe benefits balance out a racing mind prone to pessimism and full of uninvited bad premonitions. As I embarked upon this grand revision of my life, I had two questions I wanted answered. Was there any circumstance under which I could relax my mind and free myself from

worry in the long term? And second, what would I be giving up in return? This, in short, is why I attended Dave’s memorial. A few weeks into my trip, and completely by accident, I arrived at probably the most relaxed place in Mexico (making it, in all likelihood, among the most relaxed in the world). It’s a little beach town known for its robust populations of dreadlocked hippies and gringo snowbirds with incredibly deep tans. It also happens to contain one of the few nude beaches in Mexico. There’s a lot of yoga here, not a lot of shoes and not much to do other than hang out on the sand, drink cheap beer and be just as weird as you feel like. Walk down the beach at any time of day and you’ll find people in various degrees of undress reposed on the shore, juggling, practicing aikido, doing sun salutations, fishing and bodysurfing in the Pacific. There’s a shop selling locally made homeopathic lotions and mobiles with birds on them. Whales breach along the horizon, iguanas skitter through the jungle and baby sea turtles flop their way towards the waves. It’s the sort of place people arrive for two-week vacations and never get around to leaving. It is to relaxation what Rotterdam is to shipbuilding, what Napa is to wine: it’s not just the chief industry, it’s a way of life. I had been to the clothingoptional beach in Toronto on several occasions, but never felt comfortable being nude myself. I find the idea of being naked in public in broad daylight deeply unsettling. I think I was four years old the last time I swam nude in the ocean. Not long after that, I became both selfconscious and afraid of sea creatures, and that was pretty much that. But it felt different here. Or maybe I felt different. Or maybe it was the couple frolicking in the surf in front of me wearing nothing but luchador masks.

They looked like they were having so much fun. I slid off my trunks and walked towards the water, feeling the sun and wind on my body. The water was cool but not cold. A wave rolled in, white foam forming at its crest as it began to break in front of me. I shut my eyes and dove beneath it, kicking my legs, gliding through the water. I surfaced on the other side, tasting briny sea, ocean sparkling to the horizon, seawater dripping from my hair. I rolled onto my back and floated, the sun warming my eyelids. It was nicer than I could ever have imagined. I felt completely free. The next few days dissolved in a haze of sun and saltwater. I finished one book and began another. My tan deepened. I began to know the local characters by name. I was adjusting to the pace of life. I swam nude every day, and it was still nice, but it was never as good as that first time. One afternoon I had my hair cut by an aging, relentlessly energetic crossdresser named Chip who lived in a second-story palapa with a trapeze hanging from the ceiling. When I arrived, he was baking muffins. A monosyllabic young man with the torso of an underwear model and a lizard tattooed on his shoulder lounged on a sofa. When he finished with my hair, Chip insisted I try the trapeze, shouting after me as I left, “Come over anytime! We have so much fun here!” I believed him, but I also had a nagging feeling that perhaps I wasn’t capable of enjoying life here as much as he did. That his was a level of relaxation for which I was not suited. I began to realise there were two kinds of people here. There were the young ones, mostly hippies living in tents along the beach, the more industrious of whom hustled pesos from yoga classes and handmade jewellery. And then there were Dave’s peers, the lifers like Chip,

the ones who’d already had careers and families and owned homes in colder places where clothing was not optional. Like me they were all here in pursuit of relaxation, seeking to escape the anxieties of life back home. And for the most part it seemed to be working. But it wasn’t working for me. Given time, perhaps I could have earned a place in their ranks – taken up hemp weaving or juggling, or spent my evenings playing cribbage and drinking sundowners – but I couldn’t see myself being content doing either. It wasn’t just the lack of first-world toilet facilities I was missing, it was my friends back home, dinner parties and wine, reliable high-speed Internet, summer cottage weekends, good bread. I had imagined myself finding peace in a simple life of simple pleasures – sun on my shoulders, a cool ocean to swim in, a good book, a cheap taco – but these on their own were not a solution to my anxiety. I thought of Dave’s memorial, the brownie and the photos and his friends playing his favourite song. He had been happy here and I understood why. He had everything he needed. My beach was out there, and I suspected I knew where to find it. It was a lot closer to home than I’d ever thought.

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E D I U G H S ’ C P U R M A L L H Y ’ S RETT YOU E P I V TO Y MO HING C R T E EV BE WA OW ON N M O FR

ta n e s e g re p r t i l l go i n , y e y th ou’re s boots a s r o t y els, re . Why u m b e — h i d e t r e a t i v i t y i e ! ) S e q u l l y wo o d o m e r e d e m , m a t i c c d o n ’ t l a l i n H o e we l c s t i n h t n n e m b e rs oa i c normthree? We the be o! m f e w o u b e n er ra t en ce can l, To land You waste Box offi s are th n anothnd celeb Seque a he en .( se aw barr ee them franchi can’t sp aveats) Loving t to s kes and ie, if it a few c Who’s v k h a r e m ke a m o u o ( w i t g i c . L o o ma tatus q vie ma the s nical mo cy

98 SHARPM AGA Z IN E .C OM

M AY 2 0 1 5

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FIRST: WHY SEQUELS MATTER NO, THEY AREN’T ALL GREAT, BUT THEY AREN’T ALL DUMB, EITHER BY TOMAS HACHARD ARLIER THIS YEAR, American Sniper’s US box office haul pushed past the one billion dirham mark, making it the highest-grossing film released in 2014. To understand what an anomaly that is, you can look at the other 14 movies that round out the top 15 highest-grossing films of last year: all but one of them is a sequel or a potential sequel with a follow-up already in the works. The last time a non-franchise movie topped the annual US box office was in 2000, when How the Grinch Stole Christmas came out. And given that a new animated version of The Grinch is set for a 2017 release, even that might be stretching the case. American Sniper’s significance, then, is its insignificance; its success is a blip in the data. And blips aren’t what Hollywood is about these days. In an article for Grantland late last year, Mark Harris counted 70 sequels planned over the next six years—47 in the next two alone, meaning that the total will surely be much higher. He also counted 32 Marvel/DC films, most of which, for all intents and purposes, serve as a prequel, sequel or companion to the rest. Franchises “are 128 SHARP MIDDLE EAST MAY/JUNE 2015

the movie business,” Harris argued with little celebration, and, frankly, both the argument and sentiment are easy to understand. Anticipating the second Avengers, third Taken, fourth Transporter, fifth Pirates of the Caribbean, sixth Resident Evil, and seventh Fast and the Furious can feel like climbing further up a ladder of redundancy. A pernicious syllogism begins to form: we live in the age of sequels. Sequels are a pity, therefore our culture, as far as movies are concerned, is a black hole. And yet, light does manage to shine through; quality can prevail. Sequels can be more than enjoyable wastes of time. They can be good. The key is calibrating our expectations so we can see that. If we’re going to talk about sequels—and at this point in the year, it’s either that or hibernating until November—we have to disregard The Godfather Two. Ignore The Dark Knight. Forget The Matrix sequels (like, really forget those). Movie series in which visionary directors pursue high-minded ambitions are exceptions to the rule. More often, a good sequel is one that offers sparks of novelty within an otherwise expected, predictable package. This can be a matter of writing—the WikiLeaks-and-Edward Snowden-inspired political thriller at the heart of Captain America: The Winter Soldier—or going full throttle with the visual spectacle, as with Brad Bird’s floating camera providing the high-flying Dubai set pieces in Mission Impossible: Ghost Protocol. It’s rarely about overturning formulas. It’s about accommodating new ideas within them. In this respect, the Mission Impossible series might in fact be the guiding light for our age. Since 1996, it has been branded by Tom Cruise, but each instalment has been marked by the unique style of its four directors (in order, Brian De Palma, John Woo, J.J. Abrams and Bird). The four—soon to be five—movies in the series may all sound the same (literally, in the case of its iconic theme music) but the change in directors ensures they never look alike. Compare, for instance, sequences in De Palma’s original and Bird’s fourth instalment that, on the face of it, are exactly the same: in both, Ethan Hunt has to break into a highly secured room to physically hack into a computer or server. De Palma’s scene is a paragon of precise, unflashy, near-silent visual storytelling; Bird’s is operatic, his camera flying drone-like as Hunt climbs a Dubai skyscraper to enter a server room from the outside. To put it another way: the suspense in De Palma’s scene is predicated on watching whether a bead of sweat hanging on Hunt’s glasses will drop two inches onto a motion-sensor floor; in Bird’s, it’s predicated on Hunt’s potential 130-storey drop to his death onto the streets of Dubai. I offer no preference here, only the lesson that

there are many ways for Ethan Hunt to break into heavily secured rooms. And in most sequels, it’s the choice of that path, not whether or not to go down it, that demarcates the space for creativity. Of course, you can’t ignore the money. Sequels have always been easy ways to sap an idea for all it’s worth, and part of that is a simple gamble: if people liked it once, they’ll like it six more times. And only when they stop buying tickets will we stop producing it. But even if franchises represent guaranteed cash cows for the spreadsheet, artistically they’re actually high-risk endeavours: there’s a limit to the new ideas you can bring in, but you still have to make us feel invigorated while revisiting (and revisiting and revisiting) old ones. Ethan Hunt has to say certain lines and stop a terrorist plot in Mission: Impossible if the series is to retain its identity; the artistry lies in sneaking in new ways of telling that old story. And, frankly, that’s a challenge for any filmmaker and genre. It’s one of the reasons why romantic comedies died out: Hollywood failed to find new, interesting (and emotionally honest) ways of telling the old story of a boy meeting a girl. Still, most sequels seem to struggle with that principle. But then again the stereotype is largely true: most sequels aren’t good. And when they fail, it’s impossible to hide. Because they hearken back to a better, original product, bad sequels are

hardwired to reveal the meaninglessness of their existence. Meanwhile, no matter what approach a good sequel takes—the James Bond one, where it’s the actor who puts a unique stamp on the material, or the Mission Impossible one, where it’s the director—its finer qualities rarely call attention to themselves. That’s funny to write when discussing movies that often revolve around the threat of world annihilation. Yet, compared to this year’s Best Picture-winning Birdman—which has been touted as a rare example of an innovative Hollywood movie and mocks blockbusters for their superficiality, but hides its own specious originality behind the length of its tracking shots—the visual acrobatics of Ghost Protocol are downright understated. They certainly don’t gloat in the same way. The battle against derivative ideas, against regurgitated plots and characters served up as hot new meals, is an important one. But victory might be incremental rather than revolutionary, like parents expanding their children’s palates by mixing new food with Pablum. Sequels, reboots, franchises: they’re an opportunity. The tools to fight creative lethargy and predictable cinema are not limited to award-season dramas and self-consciously quirky indies. They could be waiting in a theatre near you, hidden inside the next Fast and the Furious sequel. MAY/JUNE 2015 SHARP MIDLE EAST 129

RULES FOR MAKINGA DECENT SEQUEL

DON’T TAKE YOUR TIME Ideally, audiences should feel like

they’ve barely left the theatre before needing to go back in—how else could you get anyone to see 22 Jump Street? Then there are the follow-ups that arrive long after the original has receded into the mists of movie history (otherwise known as late-night cable TV). The fates of these belated sequels demonstrate how hard it is to recapture that old magic. THE TWO JAKES

SEQUEL TO: CHINATOWN TIME BETWEEN MOVIES: 16 YEARS To be fair, screenwriter Robert Towne initially conceived his Oscar-winning neo-noir about 1930s-era LA as the first in a trilogy 130 SHARP MIDDLE EAST MAY/JUNE 2015

FERRIS BUELLER 2: ANOTHER DAY OFF

Before his death in 2009, teen-movie king John Hughes and star Matthew Broderick often toyed with the idea of seeing what happened to Ferris after high school. Back in 2007, there was industry buzz over a screenplay depicting Bueller as a 40-year-old motivational speaker. Nothing ever happened to it, but a 2012 Honda commercial by The Hangover director Todd Phillips starring a very Ferris-like Broderick was a glimpse of what could’ve been. It wasn’t bad at all.

geeky devotees that the sequel was bound to underwhelm despite some cool FX, a Daft Punk soundtrack and Jeff Bridges’ virtua-Dude.

NICK CAVE’S GLADIATOR II

RETURN TO OZ

BY JASON ANDERSON

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that could’ve been incredible but failed at one of Hollywood’s many hurdles.

about Jack Nicholson’s private dick J.J. Gittes. But the infamous troubles of director Roman Polanski were just one hitch in the efforts to extend the saga. Along with playing Gittes, Nicholson finally opted to direct himself (it was the third of the actor’s three directorial efforts) but his dull, muddled mess was a sad shadow of past glories.

PSYCHO II

SEQUEL TO: PSYCHO TIME BETWEEN MOVIES: 23 YEARS Though Alfred Hitchcock sometimes remade his own films, he wasn’t much for sequels. But after the director died in 1980, Universal chose to “honour” his legacy by enlisting Anthony Perkins to return to his iconic role of mommy-obsessed killer Norman Bates. Luckily, the original Bates Motel had been preserved for the studio’s theme-park tour. The movie was less impressive, though not quite bad enough to have Hitch rolling in his grave.

TRON: LEGACY

SEQUEL TO: TRON TIME BETWEEN MOVIES: 28 YEARS Given that the tie-in arcade game outgrossed Disney’s seminal cyber-thriller, there wasn’t much demand for another one back in the day. In the decades since, expectations soared so high among the movie’s

SEQUEL TO: THE WIZARD OF OZ TIME BETWEEN MOVIES: 46 YEARS Based on later books in Frank L. Baum’s original series of Oz stories, Dorothy’s other big-screen trek to Emerald City did not yield any kind of family classic. Indeed, parents and critics considered the new story—in which Dorothy (played by then-newcomer Fairuza Balk) finds Oz in the clutches of a weirdly totalitarian regime—deemed it too dark and creepy. As if the original’s flying monkeys weren’t traumatic enough, the sight of one pumpkin-headed new character was a sure-fire nightmare generator.

2 THE SAME, ONLY RUL

DIFFERENT

The vast majority of sequels are built to deliver exactly what audiences loved in the first place. Yet there’s a special class of follow-ups that do anything but instead, they keep what’s best about the original formula, add some crazy new ingredients and take it all in a wildly unpredictable direction.

EVIL DEAD II ( 1 9 8 7 )

An intense and influential slice of cabinin-the-woods horror, director Sam Raimi’s 1981 original was no one’s idea of a laugh riot. Yet the director must’ve seen the potential because the anarchic sequel—which essentially replays the first film’s shocks as gore-splattered slapstick—set the template for all horror-comedies to come.

HALLOWEEN III: SEASON OF THE WITCH ( 1 9 8 2 )

Correctly predicting how tedious it’d become to see Michael Myers stab his way through an ever-more series of sequels, reboots and remakes, John Carpenter tried to steer the franchise in another direction. The Myers-free third outing is a genuinely unnerving tale about a diabolical plot to use some nasty kiddie masks to unleash mayhem on All Hallows Eve. Alas, the movie confused viewers who came for a slasher flick, which is why the producers put Myers back in action.

LEPRECHAUN 4: IN SPACE ( 1 9 9 7 )

When a horror franchise runs out of gas, sometimes the only move left is the genre’s ultimate Hail Mary: leaving the earth behind. Later instalments of the Hellraiser and Friday the 13th series would resort to this measure, but the most gloriously stupid results came when the low-rent saga

of a wee but deadly Irish beastie (played by Warwick Davis) set its sights on the stars.

UNIVERSAL SOLDIER: DAY OF RECKONING ( 2 0 1 2 )

For those keeping score, this was the sixth in the series spawned by the head-spinning 1992 cyborg flick, but only the third with JCVD and Dolph Lundgren. And what a reunion it was! Imagine a David Lynch remake of Apocalypse Now except with a crazy awesome martial-arts fight in a sporting goods store and a bald Van Damme doing his best Colonel Kurtz. It is way better than it had any right to be.

3 DARE TO DREAM RUL

Even when it comes to follow-ups to big hits, there’s a lot that can go wrong—stars demanding better deals, directors demanding bigger budgets, everyone else battling over “creative differences”—long before anyone needs to lay out a craft services table. Here are some sequels

Impressed by Cave’s script for the Aussie western The Proposition, Russell Crowe himself offered the alt-rock icon a shot at writing a sequel to the toga-filled Oscar-winner. Though all involved liked the results, they also recognised that it was too bold, violent and horribly crazy to ever get made. That Cave wanted to call the movie Christ Killer was just one non-selling point.

DAVID CRONENBERG’S BASIC INSTINCT 2

Having nearly made a Schwarzenegger-free version of Total Recall earlier in his career, the Canadian auteur probably should’ve seen the troubles coming for his proposed sequel to the most iconic of erotic thrillers. He left the project after reportedly sparring with Sharon Stone—another director would eventually get it made four years later and win four Razzies for his troubles. But as Cronenberg said not long after leaving the gig, “I would have surprised people by making a good movie.”

BEETLEJUICE GOES HAWAIIAN

Really, the title sells itself. A screenwriter who’d later work with Tim Burton on Mars Attacks!, wrote a tropical-themed script in which Beetlejuice messed with unscrupulous resort developers despite losing his official license to scare. Conceived by Burton and Jonathan Gems as a beach-movie parody, it had a climactic tidal wave, too. Alas, the project died in the early ’90s, though Michael Keaton has said he’d be game if Burton wanted him back in the fright wig. MAY/JUNE 2015 SHARP MIDLE EAST 131

SUMMER SEQUELS AVENGERS: AGE OF ULTRON

THE UN-CYNICAL SEQUEL CAN YOU MAKE A SEQUEL OF A MOVIE THAT DIDN’T MAKE ANY MONEY? YOU CAN IF YOU’RE THE GUYS FROM SUPER TROOPERS—AS LONG AS YOUR FANS ARE WILLING TO HELP YOU OUT F YOU WATCH TELEVISED SPORTS, you’ve likely noticed a recurring prank: some cheeky pro athlete will go viral by repeatedly slipping the word “meow” into his post-game interview. It’s a nod to Super Troopers—the film dudes everywhere haven’t been able to stop quoting for the past 14 years. It’s become such a bro-cult classic that the AED 6 million needed to make Super Troopers 2 was recently crowd-funded in just a day. The pressure’s on meow. “We’re aware of the high expectations,” says Jay Chandrasekhar, who directed and starred in the first flick alongside his Broken Lizard comedy troupe. “There have been many times where I’ve watched sequels and thought, ‘Why they did they do this?’ They try to make them glitzier and the characters dye their hair blonde. This will not be that. The magic of the first one is still there. Otherwise, why would we risk it?” Fox Searchlight, evidently, asked the same question. That they decided to pass actually bodes well for the sequel. If money is the driving force behind most sequels (and it is), then a sequel like this might just be great. They’re inspired by passion more than the bottom line. Besides, it’s not like the first one was immediately a smashing success, either. It’s Broken Lizard’s relative anonymity—the sense that they’re just a bunch of buds hanging out and cracking each other up— that’s been the secret to Super Troopers’ appeal. It’s also been key to the success of their Indiegogo campaign, which includes incentives like battling the cast at a real-life Beerfest (AED 7,500), or getting them to be groomsmen at your wedding (AED 75,000). They’re backslapping, regular guys looking for more good times. “We’ve always followed the same principle: make each other laugh,” says Chandrasekhar. “We’re not changing the formula this time by trying to make the audience laugh.” 132 SHARP MIDDLE EAST MAY/JUNE 2015

The Marvel heroes return for a second instalment that promises to revitalise your wife’s high school crush on James Spader. WILL YOU SEE IT? You’ve already watched every one of the seemingly innumerable trailers. WILL YOU REGRET IT? Not at all.

PITCH PERFECT 2

Rebel Wilson being Rebel Wilson and Anna Kendrick being so undeniably lovable. WILL YOU SEE IT? Sure. It’s what date nights were made for. WILL YOU REGRET IT? Probably not–it’s hard to mess up.

MAD MAX: FURY ROAD

Professional brooder Tom Hardy assumes the title role made famous by Mel Gibson. WILL YOU SEE IT? If you’re old enough to remember when Tina Turner sang about Thunderdomes, or if you enjoy explosions, then yes. You’ll see it. WILL YOU REGRET IT? With managed expectations, you’ll have a blast.

INSIDIOUS: CHAPTER 3

A prequel that has the first film’s psychic liberate a young girl from a supernatural evil. WILL YOU SEE IT? Sure, when it’s on Netflix. WILL YOU REGRET IT? You might. Plus, with no Rose Byrne, what’s the point?

JUNE JURASSIC WORLD

Takes us to a fully operational park where scientists created the next big attraction. WILL YOU SEE IT? You think you’ll be able to resist a marketing blitz this big? WILL YOU REGRET IT? If you’re an actual paleontologist or geneticist, then yes.

Which is fine, but why wait 30 years to make this movie?

THE TRANSPORTER REFUELED

Not to be confused with an energy drink, this reboot kicks Jason Statham to the curb in favour of Ed Skrein. WILL YOU SEE IT? If only you are related to Ed Skrein. WILL YOU REGRET IT? You will not regret missing this movie.

TED 2

Seth MacFarlane borrows the premise from the Seed of Chucky, as its furry lead tries to father a child. WILL YOU SEE IT? Did you see A Million Ways to Die in the West? Did you like it? WILL YOU REGRET IT? There are worse ways to spend your time than MacFarlane’s brand of shouldn’t-be-asfunny-as-it-is comedy.

GEORGE MILLER RETURNS TO THE THUNDERDOME

J U LY TERMINATOR GENISYS

The same plot as the first three Terminator films, rolled into one with Emilia Clarke looking uncannily like Linda Hamilton WILL YOU SEE IT? Like the creation of SkyNet, not seeing this will be unavoidable. WILL YOU REGRET IT? You will regret it less than Terminator Salvation.

THE MAD MAX MASTERMIND FINALLY REVISITS HIS FIRE-SPITTING DYSTOPIA WITH FURY ROAD. IT ONLY TOOK HIM THREE DECADES HEN GEORGE MILLER WRAPPED up the filming of Mad Max: Beyond Thunderdome in 1985, he could have left it at that. The Mad Max trilogy he’d just created, written and directed was cult cinema perfection, launching the career of a young, pre-meltdown Mel Gibson and spawning a subversive genre of post-apocalyptic hellfire deathrace flicks. But then Miller got George Lucas Syndrome and decided to make another sequel, decades later, even though he’s spent most of that time directing touchy-feely PG family fare (see: Babe: Pig in the City, Happy Feet). Here’s what’s nuts, though: the new Mad Max movie is good. Scary good. It swaps Gibson’s hangdog for Tom Hardy’s thousand mile stare, doubles down on the explosion-packed intensity and plunges an adrenaline needle into the franchise’s dusty heart. Maybe Miller realizes that his Earth-gone-wrong vision resonates more than ever in this drought-stricken, desert war-riddled era. Or maybe he’s just been dying to up his credibility after those pig and penguin movies.

MAGIC MIKE XXL

Magic Mike XXL brings all the boys back for a road trip to a stripping convention. You’re sceptical, we get it. WILL YOU SEE IT? See if for date night, but prepare to feel inadequate. WILL YOU REGRET IT? Tatum has a history of making sequels that shouldn’t work, but do.

MISSION: IMPOSSIBLE ROGUE NATION There will be double crosses, high-tech face masks, and Tom Cruise running. WILL YOU SEE IT? Yes. WILL YOU REGRET IT? No. This is perhaps the one franchise that, improbably, improves with each film.

Photo: Getty / Michael Buckner.

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landed, I said, “Okay, this could be really interesting.”

The original Mad Max trilogy is a cult classic. It’s revered around the world. Why deal with the pressure of adding to it by making Fury Road?

It took some time. When you come up

with characters in a world like Mad Max, they live in your head like imaginary friends. From time to time, they pop up. I usually push them away. But about 12

years ago the idea for this film popped in my head while I was on a plane flight from Los Angeles to Sydney. The movie played out in my head. By the time I

After I made the first Mad Max, I never intended to make a second. I was on a very low budget and spent a year cutting the movie myself. I was confronted with all these things I wasn’t able to do. But then, when the movie made its way around the world, I saw it had some resonance with so many cultures, and I saw there was an opportunity to do the movie right with Road Warrior. And by now, with 30 years having gone by, not only has the technology changed, so has film language. We’re speed-reading movies. The syntax of cinema has evolved. You can do things now that you couldn’t do back then. All of those temptations were there for me. So, like a fool, I took it up. Mel Gibson’s not too busy these days. Did you ever consider getting him to reprise his role as Max?

We did talk about it. This movie’s had a very long, chequered history. We were about to do it in 2001 with Mel. And then 9/11 happened. The American dollar collapsed against the Australian dollar, we lost nearly 25 per cent of our budget. I couldn’t cut the film to fit that cloth. So the film collapsed. I was also getting a lot of pressure to do Happy Feet from Warner Bros.,

which took three years. By the time we regrouped, Mel had had many of his issues and he was getting on. Remember that Tom Hardy, who now plays Mad Max, was born just six weeks before we started shooting the first Mad Max. And Mel wasn’t in a good place to shoot Fury Road. It wasn’t a movie like Unforgiven, about an older man dealing with his past. It was a man struggling in the present. I thought putting Mel in it would be strange and confusing. Did making Fury Road make you want to extend the story even further now?

Well, that came about unintentionally. As we worked through Fury Road, finding out the backstories of the characters, it’s inevitable that you’ll ask: “What happens with the Mad Max characters in the years before?” Pretty soon, you find yourself mapping out a story. And because of the decade-long delay, we wrote two other stories while we were doing other things. One of them is a fully-fledged screenplay, and the other is a novella. So we might see a Mad Max prequel in the coming years?

We might do that. It’s not the next thing I’ll be doing, but we’ll see what happens. Maybe a few decades from now.

No, no. (Laughs.) I’d regret it if that was the case. And I don’t have that time.

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AMANDA CREW IS NOT COOL. SO QUIT SAYING THE SILICON VALLEY STAR SETS US STRAIGHT

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Amanda Crew wants you to know she’s not cool. She’ll tell you about her social struggles in high school in BC’s Lower Mainland and how her idea of a great Friday night involves watching reality TV, baking granola and making tie-dye. She’ll tell you, point blank, that, “Actually guys, I’m not that cool.” But you’ve heard this before, so many times that it’s become cliché, a talking point every star has to hit— especially the beautiful ones. It’s a PR move to make you feel like you can relate to them. As such, you’re wary. And while you’re not about to do that thing where you question the relevance of all fandom, you know that some who claim to be uncool are really just brand building. But when Amanda Crew says it, you’ll want to believe her. All you have to do is look at her CV. Directors love to cast her in nerdy roles. Currently, you can see her on Sunday nights on HBO’s hit comedy Silicon Valley as Monica, a pencil-skirt and power-hair wearing love interest of the protagonist, and assistant to a very rich and very weird tech mogul. In season one, Monica simultaneously leads the rookie upstart Richard—a timid puppy in Tech City played 128 SHARP MIDDLE EAST MAY/JUNE 2015

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very convincingly by Thomas Middletich—to success, whilst managing the bizarre behaviours of her socially inept, albeit brilliant, top-dog boss (played by the late Christopher Evan Welch). She is their Cesar Millan, their pack leader. She is the Nerd Whisperer. And whatever Silicon Valley’s casting director saw in her—you can almost hear her audition: “I’m perfect for this, really! I’m actually not that cool!”— had been seen before. In Sex Drive (2008), she played the nerdy-by-way-of-BFF (Best Female Friend) and eventual lover to the virgin gamer at the centre of the film. And in Jobs (2013), she played Julie, one of Steve Jobs’ exes. She’s remarkably believable in these roles, too. The Internet would posit that this is due to her girl-next-door, approachable good looks. Or maybe that she’s so often cast in these roles because she’s the platonic ideal of what Nerdy Guys want. It’s actually more than that, though. It’s the feeling you get when you watch her act, like she’s completely comfortable within the characters’ social discomfort. Like that’s where she really belongs. If that’s not enough, there are her hobbies, which are many and peculiar. “I held an Articles Club meeting at my house last weekend,” she says, as a piece of anecdotal proof, among a list of other supposedly unhip passion projects including a baking and crafts blog, GrannyGirls.com, and a photography site, for which she shoots primarily with a film camera. “I mean, that’s a bunch of girls talking about an article in a magazine because we can’t commit to a book,” she says. “That’s nerdy! And sometimes I get frustrated because people don’t buy it when I say I’m awkward. They’re like, ‘No, no you’re not,’ and I’m like, ‘Ya, ya, I fucking am! You don’t know me!’” (Laughs.) This “(Laughs)” that we threw in there, that’s important. She submits it as yet another piece of evidence in her defense against the accusations of wanton coolness. “My laugh sounds like an angry seagull taking flight,” she says. “That’s a direct quote from many people in my life.” They aren’t wrong. And while this laugh is undeniably…let’s say interesting…it’s also the kind that requires you to laugh along with it and to turn your head to see who’s responsible. And then you’ll be looking at her. MAY/JUNE 2015 SHARP MIDLE EAST 129

“MY LAUGH SOUNDS LIKE AN ANGRY SEAGULL TAKING FLIGHT. THAT’S A DIRECT QUOTE FROM MANY PEOPLE IN MY LIFE.”

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LOOKING AT AMANDA CREW IS A PROBLEM IN THIS discussion because, honestly, Amanda Crew looks damn cool. On the red carpet, hair down, dressed up, shoulders back, smile wide, she looks confident and comfortable, like someone who shows up in a limo and leaves in a hot red convertible. On her social media, we see another side: floppy felt hats, Converse sneakers, minimal makeup, easy smiles and a decided lack of selfies. This girl, you could imagine rolling up to the event in a vintage Volkswagon Westfalia and leaving in the back seat of an Uber. But, regardless of the style differences, the overall effect is the same: she’s hot, and she owns it. She is herself, even within her awkwardness, and—not that she isn’t down to be an idol— she wants her fans to be themselves, too. “I’m not trying to post stuff with the intention of making myself feel better,” she says, when asked where all her selfies are. “When I take a photo, I hope the image inspires someone or reminds them of something or makes them feel something. Whatever it is, I don’t think I accomplish that by posting a photo of myself. ‘Here’s some inspiration: try to be me!’” And this honesty is really what being cool means in 2015. It’s not about the look, or the car, or even what you do. It’s about how, and why, you do it. It’s about truth and heart and earnestness. It hasn’t always been that way. There was a time when Crew’s propensity for crafting, for example, might’ve made her a bona fide loser, or her interest in the tech world a certifiable nerd—and not the cool kind. But that time isn’t now. “What is it to be cool?” she says. “It’s all bullshit. It’s about owning who you are and letting your freak frag fry.…Oops. Freak. Flag. Fly. That’s a hard one.” (Laughs.) So, let that flag fly, Ms. Crew. Fly it like an angry seagull. We think that’s pretty damn cool, indeed.

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MERINO WOOL-COTTON BLEND KNIT HOODIE (AED 600) BY ROGUE; COTTON SHIRT (AED 300) BY KENNETH COLE; ACETATE SUNGLASSES (AED 1,400) BY PERSOL; OYSTER PERPETUAL DATE JUST BY ROLEX

WOOL BLAZER (AED 900) AND COTTON SWEATPANTS (AED 300) BY TOMMY HILFIGER; COTTON SHIRT (AED 300) BY KENNETH COLE

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COTTON SHIRT (AED 130) BY GAP; WOOL-LINEN BLEND SUIT JACKET (AED 3,000, SOLD AS A SUIT) BY TIGER OF SWEDEN GROOMING: ANNA BERNABE FOR EXCLUSIVE ARTIST MANAGEMENT

KILLING US SOFTLY THE SWEDISH STAR OF NETFLIX’S THE KILLING IS HAPPY, IN A QUIETLY BROODING SORT OF WAY BY BIANCA TEIXEIRA

OEL KINNAMAN IS INTENSE. He takes long pauses between questions and answers with a voice that’s low and gruff. Trivial queries about personal style are dismissed easily but firmly. It’s not that he’s unhappy to talk, he just doesn’t want to mince words. He prefers to speak with a purpose. It’s a trait that has served the 35-year-old well. He’s quickly made a name for himself playing similarly intense characters. As recovering drug addict Det. Stephen Holder on The Killing, Kinnaman was regularly met with a barrage of dark storylines and twisted characters. It’s the kind of job he enjoys because it makes him…happier? “I have this feeling like the darker the material, the more light-spirited I am when I go home,” he says. “I like to let it consume me, and when it’s done and I let go, I feel happier.” If that’s true, Kinnaman will have a lot to be happy about this year. In addition to two grim films (Run All Night with Liam Neeson and Child 44, about a serial killer in Stalin’s Soviet Union), he will costar in Suicide Squad, a villain-heavy film set in the DC Comics universe. Before moving to the US in 2009, Kinnaman was already a bona fide movie star in his native Sweden, with a Guldbagge Award (a Swedish Oscar) to his name for Best Actor in his breakout film, Easy Money. Since then, he’s been building his career in North America by moving seamlessly between television and film. Eventually, there’s a break in his dark, intense demeanour. It comes in the form of a laugh. A laugh that, while just as low and gruff as his voice, has warmth to it. It happens after I point out his continuous proximity to dark stories. “Yeah,” he says with that laugh, “I get all this out at work and am really quite content in life.” Go figure.

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THE SHARP LIST FOR A

h s i l y t S

R E M M SU

OD-11 ORTHO DIRECTIONAL LOUDSPEAKER

teenageengineering.com Audiophiles love a throwback. Vinyl. Horn speakers. Tube amps. And now, the newest audio reclamation: the OD-11 directional speaker, created in Sweden in the ’70s by legendary designer Stig Carlsson to emit sound upward to the ceiling and fill a room, now fitted with a 100-watt cloud speaker capable of syncing with any device via Bluetooth or Wifi. Developers Teenage Engineering hardly touched the design (which was contributed by the Stig Carlsson Foundation and encompasses the orthodirectional tech that makes these the best speakers for a non-dampened environment, like your house), but they did make it wireless, connected and added a cone tweeter and long-throw woofer. In with the old, in with the new. AED 2,700

SIDE, IN P E E D L E BASIC Y BE SOU A H T M N N A A H M T AGE L SIDE IA R E T A THE NEW M UND THE IS O H R A O T T S E U R E IS MO ERTIME J M M ODUCTS U R S P H BUT THER F IT O W T . NTALS ECTED LIS L HETHER E S W Y – L FUNDAME E L C IA N C E INDULG OUR SPE , E R R E U OST OF N P R M R O E O C F H T D G E MAKIN THE NE R E O T S IA T N A IO S T WILL DESTINA W OME. E N H T G A IN G R O IN L EXP ENTERTAIN 148 SHARP MIDDLE EAST MAY/JUNE 2015

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BANANA REPUBLIC LEATHER MOTO GLOVES

bananarepublic.com Get the benefits of added grip on those twisty roads (or just do yourself a favour until the heated steering wheel kicks in). Banana Republic’s moto gloves are made from supple taupe leather and finished with snaps for ultimate comfort and motoring style. AED 375

Brimming with visually rich pages full of interviews, brand profiles, trend essays and endless inspiration, Contemporary Menswear is a guide to dressing better and understanding the world’s most vibrant menswear brands as a key part of the global fashion industry. AED 90

THE SHARP LIST

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CONTEMPORARY MENSWEAR

TISSOT QUICKSTER LUGANO

CRONOS CUTLERY

drakegeneralstore.ca Put away the good silver. The Cronos cutlery set by Portuguese manufacturers Herdmar – family-owned for over a hundred years – has a rose-gold patina that’s as unusual as it is classy. AED 180

tissot.ch This sporty watch is a wonderfully understated addition to the sporty Quickster family. Still featuring the uncluttered dial, the striped nauticalinspired NATO strap pays tribute to the beautiful Swiss lake of Lugano with the deep blue aesthetics. Simple, straight hands are the ideal complement to a design that perfectly marries functionality with stylish design. It boasts a scratch-resistant sapphire crystal and is waterresistant up to 100 metres. Price upon request

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6 DIESEL FULL BACK BACKPACK

diesel.com Boasting a rugged aviator appeal, this backpack uses waxed canvas and military-inspired details to compliment the utilitarian mood. It is perfectly sized to fit the latest iPad versions. It features adjustable shoulder straps, front zip pocket, zip pocket on the flap, two side pockets, a Mohican-inspired metal logo plate and metal buckles. AED 1525

EDGE OF BELGRAVIA BLACK DIAMOND

edgeofbelgravia.co.uk Designed by Christian Bird, this sculptural knife block will make you look like you know what youâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;re doing in the kitchen, at least from an aesthetic standpoint. AED 300

THE SHARP LIST

T-REX THREE-WHEELER

campagnamotors.com Despite being classified as a motorcycle, the radically styled T-Rex three-wheeler 16S, built by Montreal-based Champagne Motors, handles more like a sportscar with the help of a huge, sophisticated rear suspension that significantly enhances road holding. Powered by a BMW 1600 cc in-line 6-cylinder engine that can perform 0-100km/h in 4 seconds, this vehicle is a predator on the road. AED 180,000

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EDC CARD

cha-o-ha.com Thirty functions are built into this walletsized Every Day Carry card – a massive amount of functionality in a small package. Made with high quality materials and equipped with a Phillips head, a bevelled edge, a bottle opener, open hex drivers and much more. A toolbox for your wallet. AED 120

HAGINO MITSUNOBU KITCHEN ESSENTIALS

GUCCI DIAMANTE LEATHER CARD CASE

rikumo.com Designer Hagino Mitsunobu’s can and bottle openers are uncannily cool and clean lined, not to mention highly durable: the matte black finish is a fluorocarbon polymer that doesn’t rust. There’s nothing that says kitchen staples need be boring. AED 700

THE SHARP LIST

gucci.com It’s time to let go of your overstuffed billfold in favour of a more streamlined choice. Expertly crafted in Italy, Gucci’s diamond-embossed card case is made from slim yet sturdy leather that will easily slot into the interior pocket of your suit jacket without adding extra bulk. AED 500

LACIE SPHERE EXTERNAL HARD DRIVE

lacie.com The only HD that’s as pretty as it is powerful. LaCie provides the 1TB of storage space and high-speed USB 3.0, around which French silversmiths Christofle sculpted a handmade work of desktop art. AED 1,500

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HERMÈS NAUTILUS

hermes.com Hermès’ line of statement-making products – luggage, neckties, equestrian saddles—now includes pens. These stainless-steel writing instruments, which come in ballpoint and fountain varieties, were created in collaboration with renowned Australian designer Marc Newson, who recently joined the creative team at Apple. Price upon request

LANVIN LAPEL PINS

lanvin.om The Parisian house’s lapel pins are a modern classic. Designed with woven petals arranged on a silver-tone straightpins with a stopper-style safeguard, these timeless pieces by Lanvin embody a more gentlemanly way of dressing. The collection includes flower-shaped designs come in burgundy rosette, checked wool and blue-coloured lapels. AED 700

THE WORLD’S MOST EXPENSIVE WATCHES

amazon.com Horophiles – you know, people who love timepieces – will want to spend some time with this glorious coffee-table book. Written by Sharp Timepiece editor Ariel Adams, the book has over 300 pages are dedicated to the most extravagant watches you’ve ever seen. Incredible photos of the craftsmanship and intricate mechanisms of these will make your desire to own one even stronger. AED 200

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THE SHARP LIST

LG 65” 4K CURVED OLED TV

lg.com Three of TV tech’s top trends together at last: Ultra HD resolution paired with a super-bright OLED screen that’s curved for your viewing pleasure; it’s like watching the game on an avant-garde sculpture. AED 36,000

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THE SHARP LIST

17 PARSONS POOL TABLE

districtmfg.com The classic billiards table, perfectly upgraded. This ditches pub-style kitsch for a welded steel frame and hand-selected black walnut; an industrial look, softened by quality black felt and inlaid brass markers. AED 53,000

18 LUMU SMARTPHONE LIGHT METER

lumu.eu You know what’s keeping you from taking the best damn Instagram photos around? Poor light. Snap better by popping this aluminium beauty into your jack and learning your ideal shutter speed and f-stop setting, come brightest day or blackest night. AED 650

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SIGMA SD1 MERRILL DSLR CAMERA

Sigmaphoto.com The SD1’s unique 46-MP sensor allows for richer colour than the competition, while its weather-sealed body means it keeps snappin’, come high water or low light. If a regular picture is worth a thousand words, a picture from this is got to be at least worth double that. AED 600

20 LOUIS VUITTON GRIMAUD TRAVEL BAG louisvuitton.com Arrive in style with Louis Vuitton’s Grimaud travel bag. Immaculately crafted from the iconic Damier graphite canvas for a lightweight yet sturdy structure, this spacious carryall will ensure you look worthy of Executive Class from take-off to touchdown and beyond. AED 9,500

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21 PHILIPS AIRFRYER

philips.ca Oxygen – it sustains all life on earth. And, perhaps as part of that mandate, can cook a mean French fry. Rapid Air technology cooks quicker (room temp to 300F in three minutes flat), and uses 80 per cent less fat than your faithful old fryer. You’re not saying goodbye to fried food, just taking a delicious break. AED 750

THE SHARP LIST

22 MIES TUBE AMP

miesaudio.com Why subject the music you love* to the cold, digital output (and predictable looks) of an iPod dock? Tube amps offer two main advantages: round, mellow, analogue-style sound, and aesthetics reminiscent of Frankenstein’s laboratory. This model – created by Toronto and Ottawa-based Planet of Sound – lives up to both with aplomb. AED 4,500

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SHARP l BRAND DIRECTORY A ALEXANDER WANG alexanderwang.com ARMANI COLLEZIONI armani.com

MONTBLANC montblanc.com N NAUTICA nautica.com

B BEN SHERMAN bensherman.com BURBERRY burberry.com

O OAKLEY oakley.com

C CALVIN KLEIN calvinklein.com CANALI canali.com CARTIER cartier.com CHANEL chanel.com CHOPARD chopard.com CORNELIANI corneliani.com

P PAUL & SHARK paulshark.it PAUL SMITH paulsmith.co.uk PRADA prada.com

D DELACOUR delacour.ch DOLCE & GABBANA dolcegabbana.com

S SAINT LAURENT ysl.com SAND sand.dk STRELLSON strellson.com

R RALPH LAUREN ralphlauren.com ROLEX rolex.com

E ECCO ecco.com

T TAG HEUER tagheuer.com TIGER OF SWEDEN tigerofsweden.com THOMAS PINK thomaspink.com THOMAS SABO thomassabo.com TOMMY HILFIGER tommy.com

F FRENCH CONNECTION frenchconnection.com G GIVENCHY givenchy.com GUCCI gucci.com H HAMILTON hamiltonwatch.com HERMÈS hermes.com H&M hm.com HUGO BOSS hugoboss.com J JIL SANDER jilsander.com JOHN VARVATOS johnvarvatos.com

U UNIQLO uniqlo.com L LANVIN lanvin.com LOUIS VUITTON louisvuitton.com

M MARC NEWSON marc-newson.com MISSONI missoni.com

ADDITIONAL CREDITS COVER Jay Abdo shot on location in Los Angeles, California.

V VACHERON CONSTANTIN vacheron-constantin.com Y YSL ysl.com Z ZEGNA zegna.com

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RANK & FILE

8. BARE ANKLES 6. VICTORIA DAY

Our highly scientific rankingofthingsthat doanddonotdeserve your attention 1. DAVID DUCHOVNY

2. THE ROLLING STONES

He’s got a new folk-rock album, a new book, and the X-Files are coming back. All those years watching Red Shoe Diaries and who knew the man was such a polymath?

The rockers are re-releasing Sticky Fingers. The zipper’s still there, but the cotton briefs underneath have been replaced by Depends. (Get it?! Cuz they’re old!)

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3. LETTERMAN He’s leaving TV, presumably for good. At least we’ll always have Buzzfeed when we need a Top 10 fix.

4. THE KENTUCKY DERBY It might be the mint juleps talking, but horse racing is far and away the classiest sport to pretend to be into.

5. WOMEN FALLING DOWN This month Rebel Wilson and Melissa McCarthy go head to head to see who can fall down more, while keeping their dignity intact. We never thought we’d say it, but maybe this gag is getting tired.

We’re still holding out for Queen Latifah Day. There’s less rapping involved, but she’s still our favourite Queen.

7. NORMCORE FOOD Taking a cue from the world of fashion, expect to find a wave of intentionally normal food. Soda crackers with everything. Entertaining has suddenly gotten a lot easier.

There’s nothing wrong with the J.Crew catalogue look, but we’d like to go on record and say there’s nothing wrong with socks, either.

9. ALLERGIES The one thing that makes us pine for winter when the weather is warming up. Allergies just too annoying, huh?

10. SRIRACHA It’s the new chilli. And we’re pretty tired of chilli flakes. Listen, it’s just hot sauce.