self care is health care HEALTH AND WELLNESS

SELF-CAREIS

HEALTH CARE

We hear a lot about self-care these days, and, as women, we are coming to realize that it’s okay, and even important, to take care of ourselves. But what really is self-care? by Danielle Klooster

You keep using that word

Random side note: the heading for this section is a quote from the best movie of all time (fight me), The Princess Bride. Anywayyyyyy, the term self-care is used a lot (overused?) these days, but I’m not so sure we really get what it means. It’s not that it doesn’t mean bubble baths and wine or girls’ nights out or girls’ nights in (perhaps watching the best movie of all time) or shopping or a trip or hot tub or lounging about in jammies reading or going to my one’s mental happy place while eating tacos. All of those things can definitely be part of self-care. Problem is that if that’s the sum total of how we define self-care, that means we think the only way, and the only time, we take care of ourselves is by checking out.

But wait, there's more

Yes, as mentioned, checking out can sometimes be good selfcare. But what about checking in? Actual self-care is about taking care of yourself in physical, mental and emotional ways. I would add spiritual to that list as well.

So, let’s talk about the ways we might check in with ourselves in practicing self-care:

1. Check in with your physical wellbeing.

Getting enough sleep? Good nutrition? Regular physician care? Moving your body? Don’t ignore signs that your body is not managing well. A healthcare worker once told me that “2 is not normal”. This was in response to the “on a scale of 1 to 10, how’s your pain?” question. In my mind, anything less than a 4 wasn’t worth my time and attention. I’m learning that ignoring small pains and “powering through” is not a good strategy! And, with regard to nutrition, my journey is about changing the way I view it. I used to think I had to “eat clean” and take in only “good” foods (by the way, I’m not a fan of attributing morality to food) out of guilt or out of obligation, because I am “supposed to”.

Now, I see it as nourishing my body and being kind to myself. Makes the brussel sprouts go down easier. Same with moving my body: it’s not about being a certain size or getting the number on the scale right; it’s about being good to myself, because I feel better when I’m active.

2. Check in with your mental wellbeing.

There’s a tie here to your physical wellbeing, of course, because you won’t feel mentally sharp if you are not doing well physically. But it’s also about practicing mindfulness, being present, active listening, and managing your thoughts. We go in the direction of our thoughts, so if I allow negative thoughts and stories to run rampant through my brain, that’s the reality into which I am buying, that I am creating. It might feel a little weird to consider mental discipline as self-care – sounds more like work than rest, right? – but it is a key part of practicing good mental self-care. Beyond that, we need to normalize talking about our mental wellbeing and seeking help and support when needed. Being aware, and checking in with yourself on your mental status, can help you know when to do that.

3. Check in with your emotional wellbeing.

Gotta love feeling our feelings, amirite? Sometimes, not so much. I’m a pretty emotional person, and sometimes, my emotions can be overwhelming. But I’ve heard it put that emotions contain energy. Emotion. Energy in motion. If I don’t acknowledge and process through that emotion, that energy has to go somewhere. Either it will come out in my body, in physical illness or malaise, or it will come out in a volcanic explosion down the road. Potentially over not being able to open the pickles or something. If you are not accustomed to checking in with your emotions, and maybe aren’t even sure what you’re feeling, here is a great free printable download (pro tip: it’s not just for kids).

4. Check in with your spiritual wellbeing.

Gentle nudge here. I realize that everyone has their own beliefs and spiritual frameworks and that, for some, just the word ‘spiritual’ makes their neck hairs stand on end. If that’s you and this is not an area in which you feel safe exploring self-care, it’s totally fine and permissible for you to skip over this. But, if you’re open to spirituality, consider checking in and developing habits of communion with The Divine regularly.

Productivity is also

self-care

I do want to talk a little bit here about productivity. I can tell you, as a task-oriented person, that I will be more stressed out, not less, if I try to check out when I have a mountain of things to do. Taking short breaks is definitely good for one’s mind, but I firmly believe that accomplishing things and finishing tasks is self-care. Checking out does not lessen the load. Sometimes, nothing feels better than finishing a project. The driving point is that, if we only define self-care as ‘checking out’, we are potentially creating a resistant mindset to everything else. However, if we’ willing to see accomplishing things, cultivating relationships, time management, and all of the noted ‘check-ins’ as part of self-care, it changes our perspective and helps us lean in.

And yes, eat the taco.

At Sharp Women, we’re all about smashing through perfectionism and refusing to “should” on ourselves. Reframing heath and wellness away from what we “should” do to be healthy into how to treat ourselves with love and kindness helps us move away from living by obligation, expectation and endless do’s and don’ts. Above all, be kind and gentle and forgiving to yourself. That’s good self-care. Check in. And sometimes, check out, eat the taco and watch the best movie of all time.

Danielle Klooster is the Editor in Chief of Sharp Women Magazine and a partner in Sharp Women. She also owns and operates Danikloo Consulting and Munikloo. She lives in Penhold, Alberta.