Challenged by Play RANCHELLE IN THE RAW

RANCHELLE IN THE RAW

Challenged by Play

The definition of play is to engage in activity for enjoyment and recreation rather than a serious or practical purpose.

When I share with people that I have a difficult time playing they are often surprised, especially after they meet me, because I love to have fun. I love laughing and I focus on things that bring me joy.

The story of my difficulty with play came out last month when Danielle suggested that we get a photo of us on the Trampoline for our July issue. To be honest, I thought she meant that we would go on the trampoline together and pose jumping. You know, like the classic Sears Catalogue pose. I WAS WRONG! She seriously wanted us to jump on the trampoline. It brought up a whole bunch of stories in my head, like, what if I do this wrong? What if I hurt myself? What if I pee (sorry if this is TMI but this is Ranchelle in the Raw)? What if…. And now insert every crazy story and belief and past experiences I have had with play. I have always loved personal development but in early 2019 I made a commitment to unpack all of my limiting beliefs and create something new to replace them. BOOM!! Here I am, faced with my old childhood stories of not being good enough to play. UGH! Last one picked on every team, not feeling like I was good enough for any games at school - tag, hide ‘n seek, dodgeball, basketball, you name it - I felt like I was not capable enough and the deep seeds of ‘not good enough’ were there every time we had Phys Ed or recess. As a child, I already felt like I didn’t belong and my inability to play didn’t help the situation at all. How beliefs are formed are an interesting thing. First, a statement (story) is made by someone of authority in your family (often a parent); then you experience the result of that statement or story. It creates an emotion, and you obby Ranchelle Van Bryce serve the result and feel the emotion. Rinse, repeat and you have a belief. It is that simple. The cool thing is that beliefs can be changed just as quickly, you can write a new story.

Here are a few things you need to know about Beliefs:

1. All of us have core wounds and core fears.

An example of core wounds is I am not good enough (worthiness), or I am unlovable. An example of core fears is fear of abandonment and rejection.

2. These core fears and wounds pretty much run our subconscious mind until we become aware of them.

3. These wounds and fears show up in many dif

ferent ways (stories). My story of play is an example of my core wound of not being good enough and triggers my core fear of rejection (being picked last for team sports as a child).

4. You may never ‘get rid’ of your wounds and

fears totally so it’s important that you are able to recognize the patterns of behavour and insert a trigger mechanism so you can have a different outcome than usual.

The moment I recognized that I was being triggered about being on the trampoline and actually participating IN jumping, I got on the trampoline, shared my feelings with Danielle and Rachelle, and did it anyway. When you see the pictures you can see the progress of the transformation of me letting go of my fears and starting to play. I think it’s important to share that I was having FUN (easy for me to do) while I was learning to play (more difficult for me to do).

So, how does my resistance to play show up in my life?

Unless it’s for business, I am resistant to trying new things (especially games, so if it’s not Yahtzee I would have opted out). If I do decide to try that ‘thing’ or play, then, while I am playing, I am cautious and worried that people will judge me (I am not good enough). It also shows up in life by ensuring that I just didn’t put myself in a position where someone would ask me to do something like that and so it has even limited my friendships or time where and how I spent with my friends.F or example, I am happy to have deep conversations with people but certainly don’t ask me to play a board game with you. Like every deep, dark secret that we have, it always comes to the surface. So, now what? Here is how I have unpacked this belief and am creating a new belief. coaches and have the training to assist me) what was going on in my head. I created a new experience (story) immediately after I had the ah-ha about the belief and had a new emotion attached to it.

3.

I made a commitment to have more play in my life

and I engaged other people to help me have more play in my life, who will hold me accountable so that I may experience a different outcome over and over again SO THAT I can create a new belief. Since the photos for the July issue I have had 2 ‘on purpose’ play situations. One was hiking in the rain near Elbow Falls by Bragg Creek (and that is a WHOLE other story) and one on Sylvan Lake. Both times my subconscious mind did it’s best to talk me out of doing them and both times I had the person who knew my story hold me accountable and make it impossible to back out.

Do you struggle with play? Or some other core wound that limits you? Use the open space this summer to explore

“The only limits you have are the limits you believe” ~ Wayne Dyer

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Call Jennifer: 403.877.0962 or email Jennifer@sehnbookkeeping.com

I shared with people whom I trust (who are and create new stories for yourself.

Tranquility, Peace & Solitude… Or Not

That’s what I was promised 5 years ago when I was drawn to the activity of kayaking: tranquility, peace and solitude.

At that time, we purchased two kayaks. One for me, and one for my husband. He’s been in it once.

So much for that plan. Instead, twice a year, my girlfriends and I venture out in early summer before the river gets too low. We prefer river kayaking as there is always a destination, a current… and something new to see around every corner. We pack enough essentials for 3 days: Clothing, sleeping bags, tent and food are all dry-bagged and strapped down with enough bungee cords to secure a horse. And of course, let’s not forget the wine! The wine becomes the reward after a long day of paddling, after all.

I have three great stories to share about my kayaking adventures.

Dickson Dam

I learned a trick a few years ago. You can keep wine cold by dragging the bladder from the wine box beside you in the water. This worked great until the year we tried a new route from Dickson Dam.

There were three of us this weekend, and we came across a large island. We decided to take the right and started paddling in that direction. Being ahead, I spotted a pile of branches sticking out of the water that I tried to navigate around. Little did I know, this seemingly innocent pile of branches was creating a counter-current and succeeded pulling me inward. As I struggled to free myself amidst the swirling undercurrent, I could see my kayak filling with water. 6… 4… 2… 1 inch until submersion.

Breathe. Stay calm and hang on to the branch above and buy yourself time. Carefully put your phone into your bag… clip and secure anything else. Breathe. Slowly release and backpaddle… without tipping & losing everything (including your sh*t).

I was eventually able to break free and very carefully made it to shore. Thankfully, my friends pulled over when they saw my struggle. Full of water, my kayak became unflippable, and I had my first experience pumping water with a manual pump. After finally being able to flip and empty, I started repacking once again, but there was a big problem. My wine was missing and floating down the river!

The Bear

Weather can roll in and disrupt a peaceful night on the river in a heartbeat.

We had paddled our usual 6 hours, and after searching for the perfect location to lay down our tents for the night, we hurried to unpack and set up before a dark storm we had been watching rolled in. Soon after, thunder boomed, and it began to pour. We huddled under my large umbrella with our chairs and waited out the storm. We chose to pass the time by uploading a few pictures of the day onto Facebook. Suddenly, there was a response from someone in a comment to watch for the grizzly that was sighted nearby. Um… what?

I have never seen any bear on the river, never mind a grizzly! My friend was petrified. Not accustomed to camping or (staying on the side of the river for that matter), the only thing that calmed her nerves was hearing that we had never seen such an animal on the river, and knowing I was equipped with bear spray and a whistle.

Completely spent, we eventually crawled into our tents with high hopes for nice weather and a bear free night. Ear plugs? Check. Bear spray? Check… lights out… zzzzz

I awoke fully energized and ready to go. However, my friend had been up since 2:30am when she heard the distinct sound of sniffing outside her tent. Paralyzed in her sleeping bag, she lay there wondering how to telepathically message me for my spray and horn! My other friend and I hadn’t heard a thing (remember the earplugs?) and we told her it was likely just a nearby farm dog. Not buying it, we went from three people to two as she decided to spend the next night in her ‘bear free’ bed instead.

Gus

We had enjoyed a beautiful paddle from Red Deer to Burbank Campground – a trip we had done many

times. We decided to stay two nights and continue on to Joffre bridge for the Sunday.

Our Saturday started out relaxing as we sunned ourselves in the cool river. There are a lot of fishermen in that area, including one man that we ended up meeting, called Gus.

Gus was one of the most interesting people I’ve ever met. He was about 70 years old and I remember him making the comment that it was good to be able to be around ‘normal’ people again. My curiosity got the best of me, and we soon discovered that he had just gotten released from jail. Um… what?

At this point, my friend became very uncomfortable and stopped filling her wine glass. I was intrigued and continued to fill mine, oblivious to the stink-eye coming from my friend. He continued to explain that he had been (wrongly) arrested for attempted rape and started to tell a story that was so twisted and convoluted, it should be made into a movie.

He had to leave soon, and I remember mentioning that I it would be interesting to hear the rest of his story someday. He left, and my friend and I worked at fitting the pieces of his unfinished story together. Later that evening, we decided to watch a movie inside our sportbrella. Yes, sometimes I bring my laptop – no judgement! Halfway through, we heard rustling outside of our cocoon, and there was Gus.

“I thought I would come back with the rest of my story while I cook you girls supper.”

He held a SaveOn bag full of corn on the cob, hot dogs, buns and fruit pies. Even though we were disrupted from our movie, I was secretly excited to hear more. As he prepared and roasted everything, I ate like I hadn’t eaten in days – it was truly the BEST corn on the cob I had ever tasted… and the pie was delicious. My friend refused to eat anything… suddenly full ;) As we sat by the fire, Gus continued to untangle a story of prostitution, police conspiracy, being framed, and becoming best friends with someone in the news that was also wrongly convicted of rape. We Googled this man, and the story matched. Gus explained that during his seven years, he ended up becoming an informant for the prison system. He advised what was truly happening at these prisons, and when they received the information required, he was transferred to another. After asking why he wasn’t released due to his innocence, he said that he waited out his term so that his wife could get more insurance money afterward. This never happened, and his wife ended up leaving him.

It was 10:45pm. The gates closed at 11 and Gus followed another couple up the path to his vehicle. Just ease our minds, we followed an alternate path to the day use area. After arriving at to the top, we didn’t see or hear anyone. I secretly started to panic and after a few minutes of scratching our heads, we thankfully heard an engine start up and leave just off in the distance. Somewhat satisfied, we trekked back down to our tents and turned in. Ear plugs check… lights out... zzz.

The next morning, my friend emerged from her tent looking absolutely exhausted. She didn’t get a wink of sleep and slept with her knife under her pillow(!). I laughed and joked that Gus should come back, cook us breakfast and pack up our gear for us. She didn’t see my humour. As we started to pack up, I turned around only to see (you guessed it) Gus making his way back down the path. He had lost his house keys the night before and came back to look. Ok. I have to admit, this was starting to be a bit crazy and I couldn’t wait to get going. Remember that tranquility I was promised? I still regret not asking for Gus’s last name to verify his story –maybe he truly was just a lonely man, thankful for someone who was interested in a good story.

We’ve had some great experiences on our kayaking trips. Have they been all tranquil, and peaceful? No… but there is always the next trip ;)

Brenda Kolasa is a Visual Brand expert, Business Success Coach and lover of bonfires, water and wine. Between her design company of 25 years and her coaching programs, Brenda finds time to laugh, share a few memories and connect with her passions. She has two adult children (how did THAT happen?) and has been married for 24 years to her husband George. Her career passion has always been to help entrepreneurs grow, market, and clarify the next step in their journey. She was recently been nominated for RBC’s Women of Influence and has been the recipient of RDDCF’s “Women of Excellence” in Entrepreneurship, which solidified her commitment to mentor and empower others to reach higher and succeed in their business.

“Fearlessness is like a muscle. I know from my own life that the more I exercise it the more natural it becomes to not let my fears run me.” - Arianna Huffington

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