RELATIONSHIPS LONG DISTANCE I DO’S

LONG DISTANCE I DO’S

by Dr. Megan Harris

My husband Trevor and I have a unique relationship in that he lives and works in Ottawa and I live and work in Edmonton. We have been together for 23 years and married for 13. Our relationship hasn’t been easy all the time, but somehow, we have been resilient and found ways to enjoy the best of “both worlds”.

Trevor and I originally met while we were in university. He was a Royal Military College Officer Cadet, and I was university of Guelph science student visiting a friend who was attending Queen’s University in Kingston, Ontario. We weren’t a couple during our university time but developed a solid friendship

In the Beginning

When Trevor graduated from RMC, he was posted to the army base in Western Canada. When I finished my undergraduate degree, I decided to move to Alberta to participate in some spinal research at university of Calgary. I knew I wanted to be a chiropractor and I wanted to ensure that my application stood out. The only person I knew in Alberta was Trevor, but he was in Edmonton and I was in Calgary. I spent the 1998 fall semester enrolled in a few extra courses at the University of Calgary while volunteering in a spinal research lab. We visited each other back and forth when I first moved to Alberta and started seeing each other right away.

After four months of long distance, I decided to move to Edmonton to be closer to Trevor. The minute I arrived in Edmonton, Trevor unexpectedly received notice that he’d be leaving as soon as possible on a three-month army course in Gagetown, New Brunswick. It appeared that being in the same place just wasn’t meant to be for us.

Making a Decision

Trevor returned to Edmonton in May 1999, just in time for the announcement of his next military posting to an army unit in Vancouver. At the same time, I received exciting news that I had been accepted to Chiropractic College in Toronto. Just like that, Trevor would be heading West for his next military posting and I would be heading East to start my Chiropractic education. We talked about the potential impact that the years of distance could have on the success of our relationship but because we were young and in love, we decided we were going to give long distance a serious shot. After graduating as a chiropractor, I moved back to Edmonton to be establish a home base for us here in Alberta. We had accepted that I would be unable to pick up my practice and move every two years when postings came up and that Trevor would be unable to remain stationary.

What We Do

• We try to see each other once per month. During the pandemic this hasn’t often been possible, but we do our best to schedule regular visits

• We aim to speak every day; whether it’s sending a quick text or having a short evening phone call

• We make an effort to show genuine interest in each other’s careers. I have learned the military rank structure and he now loves getting “adjusted”

• We provide each other with a ton of independence and space. We know we must openly trust and have made a deal that if one of us is no longer invested in staying in our marriage, that we will be upfront and honest with each other about our intentions

We talk often about what our future together will look like – especially after our life of dedication to our individual careers. We have both been extremely focused on our professional careers but we both are interested in making the transition back to enjoying more time together.

An Edmonton chiropractor since graduating in 2003 from Canadian Memorial Chiropractic College in 2003, Dr. Megan is the founder of the Chiropractic Wellness Studio which opened in 2008.