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FAQs about Sexual Abuse What is sexual abuse? Sexual abuse is a term that covers all nonconsensual sexual contact including penetrative rape, groping, molestation, etc. "Nonconsensual" refers to sexual contact between a perpetrator and someone that has not given consent for sexual contact, is not old enough to consent to sexual contact, is not in a state of mind to give consent (under the influence), or who is being coerced into giving consent (including power dynamics). Sexual abuse can take other forms as well such as non-consensual pornography or sexual harassment.
Can I be sexually assaulted by someone I've had consensual sex with before?
YES. Even if you've consented to sexual contact with a person in the past, they do not have the right to assault you or force you into having sex with them. Consent must be ongoing, meaning that both partners must consent to every sexual act, every time. Even if you are dating/married, consent must be present.
What is sexual coercion? Does it count as assault if I eventually said "yes?" Sexual coercion is still non-consensual. This refers to unwanted sexual contact that results from one partner being pressured, threatened, tricked, or manipulated into consenting, even though they did not want to. Examples: Your partner wants to have sex while you do not. They continue asking over and over again until you eventually give in.
Someone in a position of power (boss, teacher, authority figure, etc.) expresses interest in having sex with you, and you feel as though you would be risking your job performance, grades, reputation, etc. if you don't say yes.
Your partner trying to guilt you into saying yes by using phrases like, "If you loved me you'd let me do this," or "you had sex with me before, now you owe me."
Your partner threatening to spread rumors, tell lies about you, ruin your reputation, etc. unless you agree to have sex with them.
Do I have to report my sexual assault to the police? There are many reasons sexual assault survivors choose not to report their experience to the police - you are absolutely valid and worthy whether or not you choose to involve the legal system. Seeking healing services at a confidential agency like Shelterhouse can allow you to receive medical care, counseling, or advocacy even if you do not want to involve law enforcement. If you do want to file a report, Shelterhouse advocates can help you navigate the legal system, and can even accompany you to court. All of the choices are yours.
How can I seek help after experiencing
Sexual Assault?
No one knows your situation better than you do, and you alone have the power to decide which choice is best for you.
Seek Medical Attention Sexual Assault Nursing Examinations (SANE exams) are available to survivors following an assault. These exams are 100% free and confidential - insurance and law enforcement will not be notified. You can choose to receive contraception, HIV-preventative medication, a toxicology test, or have evidence collected if you wish. ALL of the choices are yours, and you can stop the exam at any point in time.
Call a 24-Hour Hotline If you feel ready to take a step towards healing, call a sexual assault hotline number. A representative will be able to connect you with resources to fit your specific situation. National Sexual Assault Hotline (1-800-656-4673)
Shelterhouse's Helpline (877-216-6383)
Michigan Sexual Assault Hotline (855-VOICES4)
Enter Emergency Shelter If you experienced sexual violence within an abusive relationship and you no longer feel safe staying with your partner, seek refuge with an emergency shelter. An agency like Shelterhouse will allow you, your children, and/or your pets to seek temporary shelter if you are in immediate danger.
Seek Long-term Healing Healing from the impacts of sexual assault or abuse can be tough, but it's worth it. No matter how long ago your abuse happened, your trauma is valid and you deserve to heal. Taking part in oneon-one therapy sessions or support groups can help you overcome the impacts of violence and abuse, and help you live your most fulfilling life.
Asking for help can be your greatest strength.