Final teaser feb

february 2014

VOL 3 | ISSUE 10 | `60

7

SCIENCE WEBSITES

FOR KIDS

Valentine's Day Special

Secrets to a lasting marriage

Husband’s

Favourite Recipes

EXAM PREP SMART STUDY TIPS FROM STUDENTS IS YOUR CHILD GETTING ENOUGH SLEEP ?

Parvathy Jayaram

the Happy Mom SUBSCRIPTION COPY. NOT FOR SALE

HEALTHY CHILD SUPPLEMENT WITH THIS ISSUE

editor’s note

LOVE IS IN THE AIR

“Being deeply loved by someone gives you strength, while loving someone deeply gives you courage.”

E

– LAOZI, ANCIENT CHINESE PHILOSOPHER

very year, come February, talk of love permeates the air. What exactly do we mean by love? Love is that deep sense of endearment, attachment and commitment we have towards another. Love is joy at its purest.

Love itself takes on many faces – love towards one’s child, love for one’s parents, love towards a friend and importantly, love towards one’s partner. It is not about who they are or what they do, you love them just because …

As a parent, we often focus all our love and attention towards children, sometimes at the expense of neglecting our own spouse. This can lead to broken families, often resulting in insecurity and confusion in children. It is therefore just as important to take the time and effort to nurture a strong and enduring relationship with your spouse. Our feature, ‘The Best Valentine’s Gift: A Lasting Marriage’, talks about the steps you can take to preserve and strengthen your marriage.

With exams around the corner, we talked to two successful students who share their study tips and tell you how they manage their time and preparation for exams in ‘Study Secrets’. In ‘Good Night and Sweet Dreams!’, Dr Madhu Purushothaman answers questions about the importance of sleep for a fresh and alert mind, particularly during exam time.

Love it or hate it, science is all around us. Today, we do not have to solely depend on teachers to teach our children science. Check out these online sites featured in,‘7 Websites for Little Scientists’. Even if your child is not already a lover of science, he is bound to become one soon.

They say that a way to a man’s heart is through his stomach. In our Parent Chef Valentine’s special, ‘Flavours of Love’, four young women share their stories and the recipes that won their husband’s heart.

Have the courage to love! Happy Valentine’s Day!

Would love to hear your feedback. Mail me at nalinar@parentcircle.in FIND US ON

4 ParentCircle / February 2014

Publisher & Editor-in-Chief Nalina Ramalakshmi EDITORIAL Managing Editor Nitya Varadarajan Assistant Editor Chitra Satyavasan Senior Editor-Copy Desk Shashwathi Sandeep Content Coordinator Asita Haq DESIGN Creative Head Rangashree Srinivas Chief Designer Thiagarajan R Graphic Designers M Ravisankar, Dhivya Gopal PRODUCTION Senior Consultant S Venkataraaman ADMINISTRATION Office Manager Sheeja Sasindran Office Assistant S Thirumalai SALES & DISTRIBUTION Vice-President M R Jayakkar ADVERTISING General Manager S Visalam Manager G Suresh Kumar CIRCULATION Manager C Ganesh SUBSCRIPTION Officer S Saravanan MARKETING Executive Dolly Preethi Martina M PUBLISHED BY Nalina Ramalakshmi, Director, Shri Harini Media Pvt. Ltd., (A Ramco Group Associate), 8/14, First Cross Street, Karpagam Gardens, Adyar, Chennai 600020 PRINTED BY Canara Traders and Printers Pvt. Ltd., Type II/33, V.S.I. Estate, Thiruvanmiyur, Chennai 600 041

Nalina Ramalakshmi, Publisher & Editor-in-Chief

Parent Circle is published by Nalina Ramalakshmi, Director, Shri Harini Media Pvt. Ltd. All editorial material including editorial comments, opinions and statement of facts appearing in this publication, represent the views of its respective authors and does not necessarily carry the endorsement of the publishers.

Information carried in Parent Circle is gathered from sources considered to be reliable, but the accuracy of all information cannot be guaranteed. The publication of any advertisements or listings is not to be construed as an endorsement of the product or service offered. Entire contents Copyright @ Shri Harini Media Pvt Ltd. All rights reserved. Reproduction or translation in any language in whole or in part without permission is prohibited. Requests for permission should be addressed in written form to Shri Harini Media.

mailbox SOUND SIGHT The article ‘Seeing with Sound’ (January 2014) was quite an inspiring read. It is important that we try our best to allow visually-challenged people lead independent lives. It was nice to read about Daniel Kish, and his ‘FlashSonar’ technique.

Special educators can, perhaps, adopt this technique here in India.

ONTHEWEB YOU ON THE COVER!

-PREETI VASAN

MAGICAL MOMENTS The article ‘I am OK ‘ (January 2014) was a very informative one. Every point in that insightful article is worth following. I felt happy to have learnt that while praising children, I must ‘describe what I see, describe what I feel and also sum up my child’s praiseworthy behaviour.’ When I put this simple tool to practice, the results were indeed magical!

Interestingly, my praise, apart from making my daughter feel good, boosted my self-esteem and made me feel very good. Please convey my thanks to the author.

Yoga Chandrasekar PATRIOTIC FERVOUR The article ‘Our Unsung Heroes’, in the January 2014 issue of your magazine, was a good read.

Parents should inculcate the spirit of patriotism in their children, and tell them about the contributions and sacrifices of our great leaders. I am sure this will prevent children from getting involved in terrorism and other evil practices. These youngsters are the architects of modern India, and so it is very important that they develop good behaviour right from an early age.

Preetha Rengaswamy FIRST 3 LETTERS RECEIVE A GIFT VOUCHER WORTH `500 FROM

GIRI TRADING AGENCY ‘FOR INDIAN CULTURE & TRADITION’ W: www.giri.in | E: sales@giri.in

6 ParentCircle / February 2014

Parent Circle’s stall at the 37th Chennai Book Fair had an interesting activity that drew visitors like bees to honey. Parents and children flocked to the stall to have themselves photographed against a life-size backdrop of the Parent Circle magazine cover. These pictures were shared with family and friends on Facebook, making this activity a big hit. S Deetya, one among the children photographed during this event, has been featured in the cover of this issue!

parenting insight

When parents have

OPPOSING PARENTING STYLES

BY JUDY ARNALL

1

Striving for a united front always is difficult, so let’s first accept this.

Let’s imagine that you have had two hours sleep and just lost your job. How would you react to your 8-year-old spilling his dinner on your new white carpet? Let’s also suppose that your husband won a sizeable amount in a lottery and had 14 hours sleep last night. How would he react to the same spillage?

I would bet money that each parent would react very differently to the same behaviour. So why do we expect parents to present a united front to their children? Do both parents have exactly the same feelings, stresses, expectations and parenting style? They don’t. Parents are not consistent in their behaviour with each other, and they also cannot be expected to present a united front to their children on a consistent basis.

2

Children can handle different ways of doing things.

My son Scotty was two years old and learnt that when he shopped with daddy, he had to stay in the cart and sit in the little basket. But when he shopped with mommy, he could hang off the cart and run around. He never attempted to get out when he was with daddy, and always tried to do so, with mommy!

If any parent has ever tried to explain to their child the different voice tones expected in different environments, they would know that children can handle different expectations. Church voices, playground voices, insidethe-home voices, and naptime voices all have different volumes. Children can tell the difference and do not get confused when different environments call for a different standard of behaviour.

They learn that they can run on the playground, but not inside the church. They can jump on grandma’s sofa because grandma lets them, but not at home. They have to clean up the toys at daycare but they don’t have to do so at daddy’s house, and sometimes have to do so at mommy’s house. Don’t worry that they can become confused. They don’t.

Parenting can be a real challenge for spouses with different parenting styles.

Consider these ideas for a peaceful atmosphere at home 12 ParentCircle / February 2014

3

It is okay to agree to disagree.

Instead of a united front, it’s better to create an ‘equal team’. It’s all right to disagree on how things should be handled. There are many right ways to parent and a few wrong ways. Opposing parents can discuss issues and identify the absolute non-negotiable ones in private and then present their agreed upon ones to the children. Ideally, this is what should take place. What usually happens is that there is no prior discussion.

Without this, the parent who doesn’t agree, goes along with the other to present a united front to the children.

wellness doctor speak

Good night &

SWEET DREAMS

by

Dr MADHU PURUSHOTHAMAN

Despite the pressure of exams, it is important that children get enough sleep to help them perform optimally. Here are some important facts about sleep that you need to know

Q Why do we need to sleep?

Sleep is required to rest the brain without which the brain can get tired and fail to function optimally. Sleep is also required for proper brain growth and development in children.

Q How much sleep do children need?

The duration of sleep per day will vary with different age groups. Generally, the older you grow, the less sleep you will need. But, there are always individual variations when it comes to the amount of sleep that each person needs – some people may need slightly more sleep than others in their age group and others may need less.

• Newborns : 16-18 hours • Infants : 14-15 hours • Toddlers : 12-14 hours • Preschoolers : 11-13 hours • School children : 10-11 hours • Adolescents : 8–9 hours

20 ParentCircle / February 2014

Q What makes us feel ‘sleepy’?

When we are awake, there is a build-up of sleeppromoting chemicals in the body. These chemicals are called ‘somnogens’. As the day goes along, more and more of these somnogens accumulate in the body, making us want to sleep.

Q Is an afternoon nap required ?

Due to the body’s biological clock (known as the circadian rhythm), there are 2 periods of maximum sleepiness: 3:00 am-5:00 am and 3:00 pm-5:00 pm.

As we grow older, due to the requirements of modern day life, we learn to override this requirement of the ‘afternoon nap’. But, smaller children haven’t learnt to do it yet. That is why an ‘afternoon nap’ is very important for children. It is a mandatory requirement in many preschools in the US to make the children sleep in the afternoons!

Q If we don’t get enough sleep on one day, is it possible to catch up the next day ?

Inadequate sleep or sleep deprivation leads to ‘Sleep Debt’ that accumulates little by little every day. This debt

learning feature

English Tamil

Telugu Malayalam

THE

LEARNING OF A

LANGUAGE hi

Marat

A

Gujarati

by

Hindi

ARUNA RAGHAVAN

Children are capable of learning multiple languages, if only we invest a little time in making the learning ‘joyful’ and less of a chore. February 21, being International Mother Language Day, let us help our children become global citizens armed with the mastery of ‘mother’ languages from all over the world

software specialist once had to train managers from all over India to use his programme. There were many managers who were not fluent in English. After struggling to communicate with them for an hour, he stopped and said, “OK, tell me the languages you are most comfortable with and I’ll see what I can do.”

English and Hindi were the main languages of preference, along with some Gujarati, Marathi, Telugu, Tamil and a smattering of Malayalam. He repeated himself in all the languages without missing a beat and within a few minutes he had the entire group clapping in appreciation. Needless to say, the training programme was a success.

The first language We see how toddlers learn to speak. The first language need not be the ‘mother tongue’, which is related to one’s heritage rather than exposure. The language that a 28 ParentCircle / February 2014

baby hears the most, is the language that comes out first as speech, and should be called first language.

Let us say that a Tamil child is brought up in Mumbai, where the neighbours are Maharashtrians, the maid speaks only Marathi, the shopkeepers speak Marathi, the father speaks to all and sundry in Marathi. There is a good chance that the child will speak a very funny Engtamithi – a mix of English, Tamil and Marathi. I know of a two-year old who says things like ball adi le gela (adi le being Tamil for ‘underneath’ and gela being Marathi for ‘went’). Already he has a head start in life - he has the basics of three languages.

Why it is easy to learn the first language A child learns a language exactly as he hears it, which is true of the first language. Nobody can teach a baby vocabulary, grammar or syntax. A baby learns all these just by listening to the words, by understanding the

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