January 2014 teaser

www.parentcircle.in 3

editor’s note

START persist & R

There are two mistakes one can make along the road to truth … not going all the way, and not starting.

– Buddha

ecently on a visit to a relative’s place, we were blowing bubbles to entertain the little boy over there. Soon the little one, barely two and a half years old, decided that he wanted to blow the bubbles himself. He took hold of the bubble blower, thrust it into the bottle of bubble fluid, pulled it out and blew through it. Nothing happened. Unfazed, he tried again and again and again. Yet, not a single bubble blew forth. Finally, after maybe 30-40 tries, he blew one little bubble. His entire face lit up with the joy of success. He kept at his task and soon there were bubbles floating all over.

The little boy’s focus and persistence, in spite of repeated failure, finally led him to accomplish what he had set out to learn that day. I too learnt something from him that day: to achieve my dreams, I have to start and persist, learning and adjusting along the way. This is my call for the New Year!

Along a similar vein, Bhaag Milkha Bhaag is a Hindi movie about Olympian Milkha Singh, who set goals for himself and achieved them through persistence, despite all odds. Educator Aruna Raghavan tells us about the lessons learnt by her children through this movie.

Our special feature for the month of January, which is Braille month, is a conversation with Daniel Kish, the blind man who taught himself to see with echolocation. His passionate appeal to parents of the blind is to focus less on the blindness and more on encouraging their child to achieve freedom and independence.

As our nation prepares to celebrate another Republic Day, we must ask ourselves what we can do for our country. ‘We The People’ is a humourous portrayal of everyday civic sense that we can inculcate in our children.

Wishing you every success as you work towards your goals in 2014!

Would love to hear your feedback. Mail me at nalinar@parentcircle.in FIND US ON

6 ParentCircle / January 2014

Nalina Ramalakshmi, Publisher & Editor-in-Chief

Publisher & Editor-in-Chief Nalina Ramalakshmi EDITORIAL Managing Editor Nitya Varadarajan Assistant Editor Chitra Satyavasan Senior Editor-Copy Desk Shashwathi Sandeep Content Coordinator Asita Haq DESIGN Creative Head Rangashree Srinivas Chief Designer Thiagarajan R Graphic Designers M Ravisankar, Dhivya Gopal PRODUCTION Senior Consultant S Venkataraaman ADMINISTRATION Office Manager Sheeja Sasindran Office Assistant S Thirumalai SALES & DISTRIBUTION Vice-President M R Jayakkar ADVERTISING General Manager S Visalam Manager G Suresh Kumar CIRCULATION Manager C Ganesh SUBSCRIPTION Officer S Saravanan MARKETING Executive Dolly Preethi Martina M PUBLISHED BY Nalina Ramalakshmi, Director, Shri Harini Media Pvt. Ltd., (A Ramco Group Associate), 8/14, First Cross Street, Karpagam Gardens, Adyar, Chennai 600020 PRINTED BY Canara Traders and Printers Pvt. Ltd., Type II/33, V.S.I. Estate, Thiruvanmiyur, Chennai 600 041 Parent Circle is published by Nalina Ramalakshmi, Director, Shri Harini Media Pvt. Ltd. All editorial material including editorial comments, opinions and statement of facts appearing in this publication, represent the views of its respective authors and does not necessarily carry the endorsement of the publishers. Information carried in Parent Circle is gathered from sources considered to be reliable, but the accuracy of all information cannot be guaranteed. The publication of any advertisements or listings is not to be construed as an endorsement of the product or service offered. Entire contents Copyright @ Shri Harini Media Pvt Ltd. All rights reserved. Reproduction or translation in any language in whole or in part without permission is prohibited. Requests for permission should be addressed in written form to Shri Harini Media.

mailbox The article ‘Don’t Go Daddy’ in the December issue of Parent Circle was very heart-warming. We miss our children when they are away, and out of our sight for a few days. I can relate to people in the armed forces who get to see their families and children only once a year. Kudos to these defence personnel!

DK Shivakumar

R Senthil Kishore

More photo essays, please The travel article on Kabini (December) was very interesting.

I have visited Kabini, but this photo essay has a personal touch and makes for a good read. I request you to feature more such photo essays.

Malini Srinivasan

FIRST 3 LETTERS RECEIVE A GIFT VOUCHER WORTH `500 FROM

GIRI TRADING AGENCY ‘FOR INDIAN CULTURE & TRADITION’ W: www.giri.in | E: sales@giri.in

8 ParentCircle / January 2014

a reader asks Do you believe that raising children to be resourceful is as important as this article states?

Is it okay to let them participate in household chores and decision making? Can we allow them to make mistakes? http://www.nst.com.my/lifetimes/sunday-life-times/smartparenting-teach-them-to-beresourceful-1.396389 I think that children are resourceful naturally and that they don’t need to be ‘taught’ to be resourceful.

When they are left to themselves, they come up with their own challenges and problems, and solve them or try to solve them. When we intervene to either correct them or guide them, we are already sending them a message that what they are thinking/trying to do is wrong or inappropriate. We are contradicting ourselves and our belief that it is okay for a child to make mistakes and learn. We need to analyze: What is our intention when we want to ‘teach’ them? Is selflearning a better and more natural way towards resourcefulness and problem-solving?

WORK-LIFE BALANCE I liked the article ‘Office & Home: Pressure or Pleasure’ in your December issue. I feel that couples need to talk things over between themselves before marrying, to see how far their ideas about life, work, money and children, synchronize; and how they can attempt a harmonious balance. They can continue the dialogue after marriage. It is better that a marriage counsellor is consulted prior to the marriage to help iron out important issues, rather than an astrologer. This would be in keeping with the times!

ONTHEWEB

PRIYA DESIKAN I find that children who help around the home tend to be more responsible, and responsibility helps to bring about resourcefulness.

For example, a child takes up the responsibility of taking a pet to the vet. It has to be done when the child also has an important tuition to attend. The child assesses how best she can make up for the missed class and takes action, which is resourcefulness. We can teach them some mundane, practical aspects of things (like giving directions to the vet’s house), but they have to learn to face challenges by themselves.

GAYATHREE KRISHNA

parenting

behaviour

I AM okay by

RUKMANI JAYARAMAN

Depending upon the parents’ attitude and their reaction to every significant situation in life, a child’s self-image either grows stronger or gets weakened

E

ach child carries a unique picture of himself. A child is not born with a self-image; a self-image is formed through experiences beginning from birth, and shaped in large measure by the messages communicated by significant people, especially his parents. In fact, parents can not only promote a strong self-esteem in their children, but they can also help mitigate the impact of negative messages communicated by others.

a very bleak and negative outlook towards life. The child feels insecure, unhappy and lacks confidence.

The child allows other’s desires to rule over his own preferences. An inner criticism, that nagging voice of disapproval inside him, causes him to stumble at every challenge.

Self-esteem fluctuates as a child grows, affected by his perceptions of his experiences. Here are some suggestions for strengthening your child’s self-image.

A strong self-esteem or self-image is important because it provides a foundation for dealing with life’s many challenges. By constantly improving your child’s self-esteem, you can give your child the confidence, strength, and resilience to face and overcome many obstacles.

CONVEY YOUR UNCONDITIONAL LOVE AND ACCEPTANCE

On the other hand, a low self-esteem can result in poor relationships, can lead to depression and can create 14 ParentCircle / January 2014

Your child’s self-esteem will be determined by the conditional acceptance that he receives from others — and the unconditional acceptance that he receives from you. Your child is born to fulfil his own destiny, which may be different from your own aspirations or ambitions for him. You need to

recognize your role as his guide, in this journey.

Yes, you will have to correct him when he makes a mistake. Do this by only highlighting the action and its possible consequences, and do not call him names or indulge in the blame game. For you to live up to your love for your child, your tone and language matter every time.

It is important to learn to use statements beginning with an ‘I’ instead of ‘You’, when giving criticism. For instance, when you say: “You are a liar!”, you are demeaning the child. “I would appreciate it a lot more if you would take responsibility and accept your mistake!” Here you are pointing out the behaviour to be corrected.

Unconditional acceptance is an important factor in fostering the relationship in which your child can develop. He will learn to solve

wellness

feature

SOAK UP THE

SUNSHINE

VITAMIN by

SMITHA SURESH

Sun exposure, in limited amounts, remains the best way of getting vitamin D essential for strong bones

26 ParentCircle / January 2014

learning special needs

seeing WITH

SOUND Can the blind become truly independent?

Yes, with effort. Blind people must do what they cannot see. What they cannot learn by seeing, they must learn by doing. Therefore, they must be directly involved in their environment, and must direct themselves through their activities. Blind students must become active drivers of their own mobility, and not passive passengers to other people’s leadership.

Daniel Kish, is an American, who lost his vision during his infancy to an aggressive form of cancer called retinoblastoma.

Daniel has trained himself to ‘see’ using an echolocation technique he calls ‘FlashSonar’. He produces sharp clicks with his tongue and has trained himself to recognize the slightest echoes from the soundwaves he creates as these clicks bounce off objects around him. Daniel and his FlashSonar training methodology gained currency here in India, when actor Vikram used ‘Flashsonar’ in his role as a blind person in the movie ‘Thaandavam’.

In this article he responds to SHASHWATHI SANDEEP’S questions about his life, his aspirations for the blind and more about echolocation.

The earlier they do this, the easier, but it’s never too late.

At the World Access for the Blind (Daniel is the founder president) we begin working actively with blind children at infancy. The sooner they learn freedom of movement, the more strongly will be their drive for independence.

We give a cane in the hands of infants just as they are learning to walk, sometimes before. Any parent can do this; they don’t need a professional. Imagine trying to learn to walk when you have no idea about what’s in front of you? The cane gets rid of that fear and instability, so blind people can develop more typically when they can move more typically in the earliest and most important stage of development.

My parents always valued my personal freedom, integrity, and dignity, above the condition of blindness. The emphasis was never on what I couldn’t or shouldn’t do as a blind person, but rather on all the possibilities of achievement. They reasoned that to grow up like other sighted children, I needed to be raised like them. They gave me the same opportunities to engage in those very activities that sighted children engage in.

Likewise, they set similar standards and expectations that I needed to meet.

38 ParentCircle / January 2014

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How did your parents encourage you?

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