July 2012 issue by ParentCircle

editorial

For the Parent in you To know, to understand, to connect

oday, more and more women are entering the workforce, either for financial reasons or because of their passion and interest, or in order to forge a career for themselves. Yet, they continue to bear the major responsibilities on the home front – taking care of children and elderly parents, meal preparation and other household chores. The resulting stress and anxiety can easily take their toll on these women as they strive to strike a work-life balance. These women hold the key to our future by nurturing our children to take on the reins of the world. Therefore, their well-being is essential to the well-being of our world. It is time that we acknowledge and respect these women for all the work they do – both inside and outside the home. Corporates and government should adopt policies and support services to help women achieve a positive work-life balance.

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In our cover story ‘Family-Friendly Workplaces: Options for the Working Woman’, we have talked to several working women as well as corporates that are leading the way in establishing family-friendly policies at work. These policies have not only helped improve employee retention rates, they have also helped boost the spirits and morale of the employees. Children too need a place to call their own, a place where they can do their own thing – from quiet reading to playful pranks to creative arts. Our special, ‘A Room of their Own’, gives ideas and tips on how to go about planning this special place for your child. Often, the questions children ask, particularly with regard to their bodies and how babies are born, can make you blush and want to brush the question away. But in today’s world, where information is freely available at the touch of a button, isn’t it better that your child gets his answers directly from you rather than from an unreliable source that inappropriately glamorizes or derogates sex and one’s body? Read our article ‘Educating Your Child about Sex’ to see how you can approach this sensitive topic with your child in a matter-of-fact way. I leave you to explore this issue with a thought: “Do not ask that your kids live up to your expectations. Let your kids be who they are, and your expectations will be in breathless pursuit.” ~Robert Brault

NALINA RAMALAKSHMI PUBLISHER & EDITOR-IN-CHIEF Nalina Ramalakshmi MANAGING EDITOR Nitya Varadarajan ASSISTANT EDITOR Chitra Satyavasan SENIOR EDITOR - COPY DESK Shashwathi Sandeep CONTENT COORDINATOR Asita Haq

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Parent Circle is published by Nalina Ramalakshmi, Director, Shri Harini Media Pvt. Ltd. All editorial material including editorial comments, opinions and statement of facts appearing in this publication, represent the views of its respective authors and does not necessarily carry the endorsement of the publishers. Information carried in Parent Circle is gathered from sources considered to be reliable, but the accuracy of all information cannot be guaranteed. The publication of any advertisements or listings is not to be construed as an endorsement of the product or service offered.

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contents

RESOURCES 52

PARENT CHEF Chocolate Special

CHECK IT OUT World Cinema

FORUM 6

COVER STORY

Family-Friendly Workplaces OPTIONS FOR THE WORKING WOMAN

YOUR WORD

YOUR IDEAS Every Trick in the Book

VIEWPOINT Little Ways to Cut Your

DISCUSSION POINT How Responsive are

REGULARS 8

LEARNING Bookmaking: A Cognitive and

Creative Process

LEARNING Everyday Experiments!

MINDSET Educating Your Child about Sex

TEEN CIRCLE 10 Ways to Focus Your

Teen’s Wandering Mind

CAREERS A Career in Interior Designing

FEATURE The Great Indian Holiday

NUTRITION Diet and Digestion

HEALTH CIRCLE Care for Your Child’s Hair

MONEY WISE Make your child learn

about money

ROOTS Of Gods, Goblins and Gopurams

ON THE COVER VINITHRA SEKHAR WITH TAMIRA PHOTOGRAPH BY ALPESH VEKARIA

Parent Circle / July 2012

Carbon Footprint

SPECIAL

Schools to Parents?

A Room of their Own DESIGNING SPACES FOR YOUR CHILD

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your word

ear p. H

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Letters to the Editor

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I find the articles very interesting, with relevant examples provided. ‘Your Ideas’ is a brilliant section you have introduced. Please continue with it as it helps the other parents too. The Rajiv Menon interview was a good read. I found it very relevant and nice. The recipe section is the only section, which I feel, does not go well with the other articles. The other articles are related to parenting issues and the recipes are not connected with this in any way. KALPANA RAJIV, Chennai

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I enjoyed the cover story on transition, with its indepth coverage, in the June issue. The father’s day centrespread provided interesting insights on what children think about their fathers. E V BHANUKUMAR, Bangalore

Enjoy reading a variety of articles related to parenting in our ARTICLES section!

I liked the recipe section a lot in the June issue. I tried out a few recipes which came out really well. I find the ‘Check it Out’ section very useful as it helps me get appropriate books for my child. R LAKSHMI, Chennai I like the presentation of your articles with relevant illustrations. I also like the quality of the paper you use in the magazine. I find the tips and resources at the end of the articles very helpful. RITA RAMESH, Chennai Good to know that you have completed a year. Overall, I find the content interesting and useful. There are many new ideas. I find the articles relevant as they carry practical tips and solutions. The Learning section is also interesting. UMA RAGHAVAN, Chennai

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Parent Circle / July 2012

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learning

A CREATIVE AND COGNITIVE PROCESS BY SRIVI KALYAN

There are several artistic and cognitive processes that are activated when children create a book. Often, we are led to believe that cognitive processes belong to the realm of the sciences and math, while artistic processes belong to the realm of the arts. But there is considerable interdependence between these two processes. Bookmaking is an expression of this interdependence. 8

Parent Circle / July 2012

“Imagination is more important than knowledge.” Albert Einstein

ive hundred years ago, Leonardo Da Vinci painted the Mona Lisa; he also drew blueprints for the world’s first submarine and the world’s first helicopter. He built the world’s first hydraulic jack, a rotating stage, a waterpowered alarm clock and an extendable ladder - the design of which is still being used by fire departments today. Did he have an artistic mind, a scientific one or a mathematical one? Did he have a macro-focus, or a micro-focus? He made no distinctions – he had a unified mind and his brilliance showed through. Let us look back at the children of our generation and the young ones today. As children, our parents would take us out for walks. Then with great delight my sister and I would discover a flower, a blade of grass, a stone, a shell or a tree. Our parents were right there with us, rediscovering each of these

things. We would get into extensive discussions on the colour, form, beauty, and the wonder and surprise of how each of these is a part of our world. Each of our little walks was a lesson in the aesthetics of our world, the science of its existence, the spirituality, mystery and mysticism of the universe we inhabit, and the empathy of being connected in such a remarkable world. There was no separatism in our attitude to science or arts or geography. We grew up well-rounded. Today we seem to take great pleasure in putting labels on our children. If a child shows an artistic inclination, he is creative; if he is into sciences, he is studious; if he likes history, he is a little weird, if he is good at mathematics, he is brilliant. We should step back and ask ourselves whether such labels make sense. And once we are convinced about how crazy we are to perpetuate these labels, we can start by asking a different set of questions.

Your one-year-old is ready to be a researcher, a discoverer, a traveller, a historian, a teacher, an artist, a performer, a dancer, a designer, a fashion critic or a poet. You donâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t have to force your children to become anything. They have already come to you with exquisite uniqueness. The question is - are you creating the right environment in which they can flower and become who they are meant to be?

enormous giant fit into one page or in two, wondered a five-year-old boy. He decided that the giant had to be in two pages. Another seven-year-old realized that her giant was walking out of the scene and only part of his body could be shown.

How bookmaking helps The cognitive processes mentioned below, enhances all learning and is not limited to any subject. As you read, think about how you can enhance each of these processes in your child.

IMPROVISATION. As a child begins to tell a story, she starts to improvise with her experiences, her ideas and even with her intuition. She starts connecting several dots in her mind, and freely takes the world surrounding her into her inner world and puzzles over them in different ways. She is wondering about what she can make, what is close to her heart and what she will enjoy. She is a little concerned about whether it is the right thing, whether it is good, but with a sudden splurge of excitement, she starts working on her ideas, letting them flow like a great river. For instance, a fouryear-old in our workshop was playing with a ball, when he decided that he wanted to write a story about the ball.

IMAGINATIVE THINKING. Once the process of wondering and improvising with her ideas and experiences happens, she steps into the realm of imagination. She begins to work on constructing a storyline, choosing her genre and coming up with unexpected pathways in the story. The same four-year-old decided to build a story about the ball bouncing and travelling across different terrains and landscapes, before he goes and rescues it and brings it back to play with him.

Composition in the storybook is like photography. Which frame does your child want to illustrate to create the most exciting impact on the reader? How does she approach the problem of placing elements? Does she want the central character to be large or proportionate to the other characters in her story? Is she struggling to draw a large image or a tiny image? While your child is working on composition, she is tackling tough mathematical and spatial problems. She is also working in tandem with her thoughts and trying to create a striking image that will match the experience she wants to create for herself and her readers. It is a fascinating phase of storybookmaking, because here the child brings together her imagination with her visual perception giving form to her inner realities.

PRACTICE/ PERSEVERANCE. Practice and COMPOSITION/ EXPRESSION. Composition is very intriguing for children. Where should they place each element of their illustration? For instance, should a really

perseverance are the best gifts that the arts can give your child. Practice is valid for all learning. Children keep working on their characters, drawings, and illustrations till their self-expectations are met. Sometimes, they lose patience and throw it all away. Sometimes, they come back to it after several days.8

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learning Sometimes, they cry in frustration. Practice is a continuous process. So if your child is going absolutely crazy and driving you nuts about wanting to draw a carrot in the right shade of orange on the right piece of paper, in the right angle, with the right characters, and is on his fifth version of it, it is your day for celebration.

sensibility, that they can eventually learn how to be passionate yet disciplined, how to steer themselves through rough patches and how to make good decisions for themselves.

INTERPRETATION. When CRITIQUE /ANALYSIS. The toughest phase of the storybookmaking project is critique: self-critique, as well as critique from peers, parents, teachers and others! Self-critique/ evaluation/assessment is a continuous process. Your child is rebuilding her work at any given point of time throughout the project. However, at the end of the project, when the book is ready, there is an almost shy curiosity to get the critique from others as well. A very touching time, and an important phase of learning when children must be viewed as equals. While you gently point out suggestions and ideas to them, always appreciate the remarkable work they have shared with you. For instance, it is common to hear your child saying, ‘I don’t like this page, the others are good. What do you think Mummy?’ Or ‘I am super happy with my book.’ Remember to enjoy their excitement, thoughtfulness and exuberance of emotions, while gently guiding them to do better. Also, critique and self-reflection are guides to metacognition, when children will learn to think about thinking and observe the workings of their mind. It is from this

10 Parent Circle / July 2012

children are engaged in storybookmaking, they are challenged with interpreting their ideas, their imagination, and their selves through a particular medium. What colours they use, how much paper they use, how many pages they want to create, how they want to draw their tigers and elephants, how many legs their robot has – each of these things is an act of interpretation. Older children might choose more complex forms of interpretation like symbolism, metaphors, allegory and others. Learning to view your child’s work from his point of view and his interpretation can open his world to you. If you try to thrust the extent and direction of your imagination and interpretation on your child, you may be effectively closing this remarkable process within him.

AESTHETIC EXPERIENCE. The greatest mathematicians and scientists also experienced this during intense working moments. Rasa, the experience of the joy and sorrow of creating, the pleasure of resonating with one’s deep core of creativity is another artistic process that teaches much. Little children sometimes return a bird’s call and laugh at the startling discovery of finding a voice

that resonates with another life. In that moment, they enjoy an aesthetic experience that tunes them to the world around them. Similarly, while creating storybooks, they are creating several such moments of rasa, while they imagine, compose, practise, and critique themselves. Rasa is a very healing and sacred experience. Staying with your child through this experience will give him a life-long path to heal themselves through any tough experience. This kind of a project-based learning leads to multitasking – analyzing possibilities, assimilating tasks, synthesizing ideas, translating experiences and imagination. It calls for applying abilities, creating new information and reflecting on the project. The ability to critically think and solve problems evolved through the project, can over time, find its way into other projects and life situations. Each of the cognitive processes are equally supported by and guided by the artistic processes. Arts-based teaching strategies tend to create a more inclusive way of learning that is wholesome and balanced. Also, they help your children live without the conflicts between heart and mind and help them lead compassionate, sane and creative lives. As a parent, your awareness and observation of these processes in your child’s everyday life can help you support and guide him in an informed way. Children can also understand how to channelize their energies and create direction for themselves, becoming self-learners. n SRIVI KALYAN IS A DIRECTOR AT FOONIFERSE ARTS AND HAS CONDUCTED BOOK-MAKING WORKSHOPS FOR MORE THAN 400 CHILDREN.

learning

Everyday Experiments! The following experiments are from the book The Agenda of the Apprentice Scientist by Nicole Ostrowsky, published by Universities Press. Over the next few months, we will be carrying experiments from this book. These experiments are intended to inculcate in children a sense of curiosity and a love of science, helped by lively characters: ‘labcoat’, depicting the scientist and ‘little net’, the apprentice. Encourage your children to do these experiments on their own, observe the results and discover for themselves. An explanation has been provided for parents to guide their children through this process of exploration and discovery. Further information is available at http://apprenticescientist.com.

Reverse Marks Get two face masks and place them side by side at eye level against the wall. Turn one mask the other way round, its ‘hollow side’ facing you. Standing a couple of metres away, walk past the masks while you look at them. What do you see? _________________________ _________________________ _________________________ _________________________

As you walk by, the hollow mask seems to move and turn so that it is always looking at you. Why? _________________________ _________________________ _________________________ _________________________

Nose in front, nose behind: that’s the difference. Draw a big face with eyes and a mouth on a sheet of paper. Make a hole where the nose should be and stick your little finger through the paper towards you. Without moving your drawing, If you tilt your face toward the left, which way does the ‘finger-nose’ seem to move? Pull your ‘finger-nose’ out completely from behind and repeat the experiment with a hollow nose. What happens? __________________________ _____________________________________________________

“There’s reality, and then there’s illusion. We’re stuck somewhere between the two.” Wilfrid Lemoine

“The perceptions of our senses and the judgement of our minds are sources of illusion and causes of uncertainty.” Anatole France

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mindset “HOW WAS I BORN? TELL ME.”

EDUCATING YOUR CHILD ABOUT

I think it’s time we had the big boy talk...

BY SUPRIYA PADMANABHAN

o you break out in a sweat when your child wants to know where babies come from? Of course, you told her about the responsible stork who placed her at your doorstep. But she’s at that age when she knows storks have better things to do. Was there ever a time when you had a frank discussion regarding sex? If not, consider these statistics (source: The Times of India, April 26, 2009): w Only 18% of children get guidance from their parents. w Parents worry that talking to children about sex/sexuality will lead to experimentation. w The majority of pre-teens and teens get sex education from friends, and porn sites and movies. This leads to titillating unhealthy attitudes. w Countries with a holistic approach towards sex education have a lower teen pregnancy ratio. India’s statistics of 2005-2006 show that one in six Indian girls between 15 and 19 years are mothers. w Government statistics indicate that 40% of the sexually transmitted infections are in the 15-29 age group. More than 31% of all reported AIDS cases occur in this age group, which

12 Parent Circle / July 2012

What would you like to know?

indicates that young Indians are a highrisk demographic. If you haven't had ‘that kind of talk’ yet, perhaps it’s time to do so now, especially if your child is more than nine years old. Children today, actually know a lot more about such topics than you think they do. Do not forget that teens nowadays receive sexually explicit text messages (called ‘sexting’), usually in the form of ‘jokes’. They not only giggle together or attempt to guess the meaning, but also share half-baked facts gathered from friends, cousins and the omniscient Internet. Often, children will try to verify from you those facts. Avoiding the issue

will make them realize that we are uncomfortable with this topic. That will leave the door open for wrong information to reach them. The best you can do as a parent is to arm them with age-appropriate facts. The most important message you must convey is that sex is a very natural and normal thing among married people. Without making sex sound exciting, explain it in a way that doesn’t make them feel ashamed or guilty. Not only will you have to explain the ‘act’ but also teach them about respecting the opposite gender, and understanding and recognizing their bodies. As one 14-year-old said: “Because my mom

told me all about sex, it seems natural and normal to me. My friends react weirdly when the topic comes up.”

RECOGNIZING YOUR OWN ATTITUDE As parents, we need to shed our inhibitions first. I realized this at a Parenting Matters workshop. Here, parents with children from the age of four and up were asking for guidance on how to handle this awkward subject. We were told to ask ourselves: how did we learn about sex? Did friends and cousins whisper it in our ears? Did the information surprise us? Was there a sense of shame attached to sexuality and our body? This brought in us a realization as to why most of us feel varying degrees of discomfort while talking about something so natural. After all, sex is supposed to be an expression of love and bonding. Talking about sex is

WHEN TALKING TO YOUR CHILDREN Think what values you would like to pass on Be calm and rehearse your information capsule if it helps Verify the question Be honest and matter-of-fact Keep it simple. Add technical details according to the age Act like a parent, not a friend Don’t preach. Understand why they are asking questions Show an interest in their questions and ideas Use opportunities (animals mating, pregnancy) to explain facts Do not get angry or punish them Ask for feedback to ensure they have understood you

uncomfortable because it carries many labels like ‘secret’ and ‘sinful’. We should not let our children associate these labels with their sexuality or the physical aspects of expressing love.

WORKSHOP TALES At the workshop, a few parents shared their thoughts. Let’s listen to Ameena’s story. She didn’t want her child to discover sex as she thought it was something to be ashamed of. Her attitude stems from a childhood episode when at seven years, she caught her uncle and aunt in an embrace. They yelled at her, and Ameena felt guilty and scared. Because of that incident, she finds it difficult even today to hug her husband and children. Instead of yelling, had the adults gently told Ameena that she should not disturb them as it was their private time together, Ameena would not have developed a negative attitude towards sex. Radhika said she wanted to educate her son that women are not ‘dirty’ during menstruation. Her husband’s family did not allow a menstruating woman to enter the kitchen. The boy was told that this was because she is unclean at that time. Radhika feels that he still thinks it is ‘unclean’. She thinks that the best way to remove that way of thinking would be to help him understand what biological changes a woman’s body undergoes and how that has affected certain beliefs and rituals. Meera has decided to have a frank talk with her daughter. “After my first kiss, I thought I was pregnant and was terrified. I don’t want my daughter to be as ignorant as I was,” says Meera. Such situations are normal at every

home. You must realize that the goal of such talks is not to load your child with information or to make them perverts. Instead, early discussions will make them appreciate their bodies and sexuality, and ensure that they feel comfortable enough to approach us when they need help.

WHEN AND HOW TO TALK Start early. Teach children that certain parts of their body are ‘private’ as they are their own. Tell them that no one is allowed to touch their private parts, except parents and caregivers who help to wash or wipe them. This way, children can empower themselves against abuse. You can have this talk with your 2-3-year-old child. Use the actual words. Use words like penis or vagina, and not nicknames while referring to the genitals. During bath time, label those parts just as the way you label ‘ears’ and ‘eyes’. This will ensure that there is no miscommunication if a child later tells you that someone touched her inappropriately. Keep messages simple and repeat them. You may tell your three-year-old ‘no one is allowed to touch your penis/ vagina’. To a six-year-old, you can say if he likes to play with his penis, he should do it in private. He will get the message that what he is doing is normal, but there are certain norms to observe. Repeat that he cannot touch others’ private parts, and that no one should touch his. As children grow, they forget the earlier talks. Repeat the messages. Answer questions keeping in mind your child’s age. When we discuss childbirth with little children, we talk about the seed from a father and the egg from a mother. We say the baby8

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mindset

was born with the doctor’s help at the hospital. As they grow older, we should add to the information. They need to feel free to clarify and ask when more doubts arise. Use real-life situations to start a talk. A little girl saw dogs mating and approached her mom with questions. Another mother was asked what the ‘F’ word meant. She used that opportunity to say that some people use the word badly to describe something that is actually natural and beautiful. Valli said she had to attend a coming-ofage ceremony of a niece and used that occasion to educate her 12-year-old son about puberty. Use resources. Seek help from friends, grandparents, family doctors, books and websites to tackle your child’s questions when you feel confused. Marina’s nine-year-old son asked her how babies were born. She began with how the body develops as boys and girls grow older. Using a book with diagrams as a guide, she explained to her son how his body will change too. Understand the question. “Dad, what’s sex?” asks a little girl. Her father draws a chair close to her, takes a deep breath, and begins a basic introduction to sex. When he’s done, she asks with a puzzled look: “Okay, so what do I put in this form the swimming coach asked me to fill?” Before giving out information ask: “What do you think it means?”, “What have you heard about it?” and the like.

14 Parent Circle / July 2012

How much to say? Each parent has to determine that himself. Be aware of the messages you send. Children/ teens can easily access porn sites. So do not avoid awkward questions from them, whether it is on oral sex or anything that borders on the pervert – but educate them properly taking a nonemotional approach, highlighting the dangers and undesirability as needed, which the porn sites will not do.

him, and answering his questions about bodily emissions. Despite her discomfort with the subject, her only regret was that she did not have the conversation with him before the event. Another mother said her son felt that he was wetting his underwear. Although fathers are the best persons to discuss this with sons, her husband’s reluctance made her download Tarshi’s The Red Book for her son to read.

Remember foremost that your teenager also needs to know the facts to protect herself from physical abuse and cyber sex harassment. When a 13-year-old asked her mother about oral sex, the mother quickly said: “I’ll look up some facts and then discuss it with you.” This bought her time to reflect how much information she must give her child. She finally used the clinical terms from the dictionary, discussed the origin of the Latin word ‘fellatio’, discussed oral hygiene, and concluded by saying that one had to be very comfortable with one’s spouse to enjoy it. She advised her daughter that many children were abused by adults this way, because they did not know the facts.

Handling embarrassing questions. Explain that some things are personal and you are not comfortable sharing details of your sex life. Sometimes, a child may innocently clarify something in public. Swallow your embarrassment, and respond! Or promise a response later, when you can also explain to the child how uncomfortable others are with the topic. Once you have begun the talks, handling their questions becomes easier. We have to tell our children the facts, and convey our values. If you haven’t already begun, start today. n SUPRIYA PADMANABHAN IS A COMMUNICATIONS CONSULTANT

Don’t wait for the event to happen before discussing it. Even today, mothers postpone discussing menstruation with their daughters. The average age at which a girl achieves puberty can vary from 8-16. This is not just a topic for girls. Children today are almost always in a co-ed environment. If the boys are aware, then they will be more sensitive towards girls. One mother explained to her son that instead of making fun of a girl with a stained skirt, he should bring it to her attention directly or through a teacher or her friend. Mary, a parent, says her son was upset one morning to find his night clothes soiled. She spent the day reassuring

ASSOCIATED WITH PARENTING MATTERS.

Resources http://www.tarshi.net/downloads/ red-book.pdf http://www.babycenter.com/0_ how-to-talk-to-your-child-aboutsex_67112.bc?page=1 http://www.plannedparenthood. org/parents/talking-kids-about-sexsexuality-37962.htm http://fatherhood.about.com/od/ sexeducation/a/tas_tweens.htm

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teen circle

10 ways to focus your teen’s wandering mind BY CHITRA SATYAVASAN

istractions are an inescapable reality of our lives. As adults, we also get distracted – but we know that we have to pay a price for it. Preteens and teens are at the crossroads, between being a child and an adult. They do not always have the maturity to realize the consequences of distraction. For them, this is a period of growth and ceaseless exploration of ever-widening horizons. They may pride themselves at multi-tasking, but focusing on one thing at a time is crucial if one has to store the information for later use. The following strategies may help your child focus on the task at hand and give her a sense of accomplishment:

Set an example Keep

reiterating to your child the many things you are able to do at home and at work because you focus. Tell her that the act of paying attention and focusing helps you save time to do many more exciting things. She should consciously and deliberately focus in class, to save time re-learning the lesson. The time saved can be spent as she wishes! You can also highlight the consequences of not focusing without

18 Parent Circle / July 2012

preaching and help her make good choices. “Parents can encourage children to think about a logical consequence, if school or academic work is not completed. They can then highlight what can be done to avoid those consequences,” says Pune-based psychologist Dr Natasha D’Cruz. You may share this tip, offered by a Psychology Today study, with your child: “Consider suppressing or modifying certain feelings if they are inconsistent with your immediate goals. For example, if you are angry over something or even too pumped up, ask: What does this feeling have to do with what I am trying to accomplish at the moment? If the answer is that it is detrimental, then let go of it or compensate for the feeling—sometimes students, athletes, business people have to act differently from the way they are feeling to get the job done. Focus on your overall goal and how it relates to other goals. Get to know your capabilities (good and harmful) under the influence of specific emotions you feel often. Learn to work with where you are at.”

Goal-setting Help your child with goal-setting. Ask her to draw three columns in a paper, and list her long-term, medium-term and shortterm goals. For example, if your child’s long-term goal is to become a doctor, her medium-term goals would be to clear the exams each year while her short-term targets would be to finish topics as they are taught. With this perspective, help your child settle upon a goal for each study session. She may wish to complete one chapter, understand the concepts, take a short break, revisit the lesson and solve problems.

Tech breaks Technology, in the

form of TV, cellphones, Play Stations

and Internet, seems to be the biggest attraction and cause of distraction among teens. “This urge of your child to check cellphones every ten minutes can be tamed. Give him specific ‘technology breaks’ when he can check his phone or the Internet, and then ask him to turn the phone to silent mode and focus on studies. You can request him to tell his friends not to call during his study hours. You can also keep the phone and the computer in a separate room, and let your child stay in another room with his books and notes for company,” says Chennai-based psychiatrist Dr S Mohan Raj. As your child minimizes the tech breaks, he will focus more on the lessons. “The trick is to gradually lengthen the focus time to teach yourself (and your children) how to focus for longer periods of time without being distracted,” says a Psychology Today study.

Best thinking time Children

should study difficult subjects during that time of the day when they feel mentally and physically fresh.

Quiet spot Create a

comfortable and quiet study place, far away from TV or the hustle-bustle of domestic life. Minimize interruptions from other people and noise so that your child can concentrate.

A time for everything When your child says that he has too many projects sharing the same deadline, help him create a timetable with personal deadlines for each project. He will learn to spread his work appropriately.

Break the monotony at work Your child will retain information better if she changes the subject she is studying every two or three hours. Studying continuously at a stretch may also tire your child and make it difficult for her to retain concepts. Short breaks are needed to break the monotony. Let her take a walk, take a short nap or do what she feels like before she resumes work.

9 Sometimes, while researching a topic online, your child may come across multiple interesting and informative links not directly related to his topic. To ensure that he does not waste precious time on such sites and lose focus, ask him to note down the links so that he can visit these at leisure after completing his work. “The key would be to prioritize activities and parents can help with this. There is enough time in a week to accommodate the required academic work, and fun activities. Too much of one at the expense of the other is detrimental to the child. A little bit of planning and patience can achieve this crucial balance,” adds Natasha.

When the mind wanders

“During study time, children tend to think of catching up with their friends at a nearby mall or a coffee shop. Once you let them know that after twothree hours of study or every Saturday evening they can catch up with their friends for an allotted hour, they will stop thinking about it all the time,” says Mohan Raj.

Be positive Motivate your

child when he feels de-motivated and overburdened with too much work. Tell him that everything is achievable. It is important to make him believe that goals are well within his ability to achieve. Guide him as needed to develop organizational skills. Meditation and yoga can also work wonders in building his confidence.

Invent your own strategies There is always room for innovation. Seventeen-year-old Saakshi Agarwal, who is studying for her medical entrance exams, wears ear plugs to block out noise. “I got tired of telling my friends to study quietly. Some of them read aloud, while others listen to songs without using their headphones. There is noise everywhere. My parents gave me a pair of ear plugs which I wear when studying. It really helps. A few of my friends, too, have adopted my strategy,” says Saakshi, who stays at a hostel in Hyderabad. At the end of the day, your child alone is the best person to manage her time. Setting goals, learning to work with her own timetable, and staying focused on the goals will definitely go a long way in helping her avoid distractions. n

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special

DESIGNING SPACES FOR YOUR CHILD BY SUKADHA PARTHASARATHY

20 Parent Circle / July 2012

This is a two-part article. In this issue, we will offer general tips related to safety, buying furniture, choosing beds and arranging storage spaces in children’s rooms. We also have experts offering their ideas on what you should consider while designing your child’s room. Our next issue will carry the second part of this article, focusing on age-appropriate design tips.

ong gone are the days of rambling old bungalows with long corridors and sprawling bedrooms. Now, it is mostly apartments, housing a fourmember family with a grandparent or two. The affluence rate may be high, but personal space is definitely compromised. People with long memories can nostalgically talk about a huge room with multiple beds, shared with siblings and a household pet. But children, nowadays, are not that fortunate to enjoy the luxury of big rooms. They have to contend with a 10x10 room.

BUYING FURNITURE AND ARRANGING STORAGE SPACE

I wonder how parents manage their houses today, with shrinking room sizes and children with needs of their own. You need a lot of thought and creativity to keep a child’s room clean, attractive and yet effective as a bedroom, playroom and study. What is more, a child’s requirements will change as she grows up. An adolescent certainly will not want to live in a room whose interiors remind her of her toddler years!

Think about the size, colour and theme of your children’s room. Will the furniture and furnishings match? What is the size and value of the furniture you plan to buy? For a small room, buy foldable furniture which will make more room for play and optimize floor space. Remember, if you compromise on your budget, you may have to replace the furniture in a couple of years.

Think Before You Buy

GE NER AL TIP S

Vis it a few sto res bef ore you dec ide to splu rge at a spe cifi c one . Stu dy var ious mod els and idea s. for get to con sult you r chil dre n. Aft er all, it is the ir spaDoce.n’tThe roo ms and tak e car e of the m a lot bet ter y will enj oy the ir whe n the y are inv olv ed in the dec isio n-m aki ng. How ma ny chil dre n do you hav e? If you ’re plan nin g to add to you r fam ily, you sho uld plan the ir spa ce acc A bed , sto rag e she lve s and a cup boa rd are ord ingl y. a few mus t-h ave s. Avo id fur nitu re, wa lls and acc ess orie s wit h lea d/ tox ic coa ting . En sur e tha t plug soc ket s in the chil roo m are not wit hin his rea ch. Do uble -ch eck to ma ke sur e d’s he can soc ket s fro m the bed or a cha ir. Wh en a not acc ess ope n the swi tch es, ina dve rte ntly stic king a fing chil d lea rns to use er into the ope n soc ket is a rea l dan ger .

1. Furniture

To children, rooms are not just rooms - they are exciting playgrounds, adventure zones, battlegrounds and everything else they imagine it to be. The furniture, often used as props in their games, is frequently knocked about. They may use their beds as trampolines, and cupboards may become hideouts or prisons to lock their enemies in.

When buying furniture for children’s rooms, ensure that it is safe, sturdy and durable.

CHOOSING BEDS BUNK BEDS

Bunk beds are considered ideal for optimizing bedroom space shared by siblings. The original bunk bed has evolved to match changes in lifestyle. Add-on desks and storage space are now considered trendy. Before you fall in love with a trendy set and take it home, consider the following: How long will your children use the bunk bed? A child-size bed with a tiny attached desk and storage space may jazz up the room now. Are you willing to change it as your children grow? Consider your children’s ages. If they are toddlers, sleeping on the top bed is certainly not recommended.8

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special

Once they are ready to use the bed, how many more years will they continue using it? It is more practical to buy a fullsized bed. Before you step out to shop, make a note of the door swings, ceiling fans and location of windows. Modular bunk beds need their own space. Does the room have the proper layout to accommodate one? If the room is not air-conditioned, the lower bed will not get breeze from

the fan as the upper bed will be blocking the air flow. If so, is your child ready for a pedestal fan, or can a wall fan be strategically placed? A bunk bed should be sturdy and safe. Is the ladder safe and well-attached? Can it bear the weight of growing children clambering up and down a few times in a day? Does the bunk bed have a guard rail all around? Is the guard rail high enough to prevent the child from rolling over and falling down? The rail should be strong and well-attached so that it can resist the child’s weight and does not dislodge while he is sleeping. Is there a possibility of your child’s head, leg or hand getting trapped between the guard rail and the bed?

Think Before You Buy

Precautions If your child is still at an age when he’s imitating a super hero jumping off heights, he could be tempted to try the same from the upper bed. This could lead to broken bones. Bunk beds should be kept well away from ceiling fans. Keep young children away from the upper bed. Very often, older siblings are automatically given the loft bed, no matter how young they are. But are they ready for it? Are they restless sleepers? Do they need to use the bathroom at night? Do they occasionally sleepwalk? Do they get nightmares? Children can slip and fall while climbing down in the dark. Keep the night lights on to prevent this.

PULL-OUT/TRUNDLE BEDS Pull-out beds give a greater illusion of space unlike bunk beds. Pull-out beds can also be used in the living areas to accommodate large families and guests staying over.

SAFET Y ISSUES TO CONSID ER WHEN BUYING FURNIT URE

Look at the attrac tive furnitu re you like and feel it with your hands. Don’t buy furnitu re with a rough texture or sharp edges. Look for smooth and rounde d edges as childre n may bang their heads on sharp corner s. Avoid furnitu re with nails or screws jutting out. Inspect if the wood is warped , and if the seams are giving away. Check if the piece is wobbly or unstea dy. Be carefu l when selecti ng furnitu re. A toy chest with a vertica l lid is a real danger as the lid may fall on the child when she tries to pick out some toys. Similar ly, a toddle r can accide ntally lock himself in a spacio us cupboa rd. Keep your child’s stuff well within his reach. Avoid placing his toys and books on top of bookca ses or display cabine ts. No matter where his favour ite ball is, he will try to climb and get it.

22 Parent Circle / July 2012

Pull-out bed (top), Daybed (bottom)

DAYBEDS Daybeds are a smart choice for children's rooms. With the creative use of colourful cushions, they transform into lovely divans in the daytime. They are especially useful when the room is short on space.

2. STORAGE SPACE

It requires imagination, innovation and creativity to optimize space in a child’s room. Here are a few storage tips to make the room look neat and tidy: De-clutter regularly. The more items you have, the more cramped the room is. Display just a few things in the room to create the illusion of space. Under-the-bed storage compartments have adequate space, provide easy access to items that are regularly used, and free up floor space. Organize the storage closet effectively even if you have to use professional help. Utilize vertical space. The more you store in the closet, the less cluttered will be the bedroom. Use attractive baskets and containers to store small items that don’t need to be seen but are regularly used. Maximize storage on walls. Take the storage units off the floor and onto the walls. You can opt for both open and closed shelves for a sleek look. Rectilinear furniture is a better option than curved furniture that uses more space. If a TV is a must, a flat screen mounted on the wall is the ideal solution. Sleek laptops can replace their bulky desktop computers. However, it is recommended that TVs and PCs be placed in the living room where one can enjoy family time. Multifunctional units like a bed with drawers below and a study table

Peek into her ideas Garima Agarwal is the proprietress of Peek-A-Boo Patterns which provides a comprehensive range of children's room furniture, furnishings and accessories. She believes that to bring in style, one need not spend big bucks. Decor, according to her, can be fun, fashionable and certainly affordable. She shares her ideas on how to plan children’s rooms: Opt for a standard 3’x 6’ size bed which lasts all through childhood. Good quality furniture with simple designs are long lasting, easy to maintain and can blend with any kind of thematic furnishings. In a compact room, a double bed will leave little room for anything else. Twin beds consume space, too. Instead, stack them on top of each other, thus utilizing vertical space and allowing two people to sleep in the space of one. Children are better off with low beds. Low beds with no head or foot boards can be converted to a bunk bed later on. Or a compact study can be built alongside. An L-shaped arrangement is very effective when a brother and a sister are sharing a room. A small room will look like a

pigeonhole, if you use dark colours. Light colours enhance space. Use storage cabinets without backs. They are sleeker, roomier and serve their purpose well. Keep attractive containers to dump little things that normally lie around a child’s room. This way the room looks neat. Closet space can be designed to accommodate accessories and knickknacks. Effective storage space makes everything much more manageable. Keep at least three walls free of any kind of decor or shelves. This makes the room look larger. Nothing works like cotton furnishings. They are easily washable and easy to maintain. Light colours intercepted with bright tones make the room look cheerful and spacious. Dark colours make children feel shut in. Children’s interests and hobbies should never be brushed aside in a penchant for tidiness.

attached will be effective. They can handle most of your storage needs so that the rest of the room is free. Stay away from bulky pieces. Use other rooms for storing things that are not regularly needed. n

SUKADHA PARTHASARATHY IS A FREELANCE WRITER.

www.parentcircle.in 23

careers

Interior Design A career in

BY SHASHWATHI SANDEEP

nterior design has existed from times immemorial. The kings and princes of yore - particularly the Mughal kings - built large palaces and had lavish, decorous interiors. Extraordinary structures like the Taj Mahal and Khajuraho are equally known for their exemplary and intricately done interiors. “Owing to a lack of exposure to the possibilities and transforming effects of interior design, it was not given importance by the emerging middle class or corporate offices, until two decades ago. The subject was relegated to being a minor one under architecture. Today, it is a vast field,” says Kunnakudi Srinivasan, Chairman, Institute of Indian Interior Designers, Chennai chapter. Traditionally, functionality was the main criteria. “The interior design of an average home would often consist of stone or mosaic flooring, painted walls, colonial furniture handed down for generations and local arts and crafts adorning the walls,” adds Srinivasan.

24 Parent Circle / July 2012

“People did not worry about the kind of lighting in their dwellings, nor did they worry about floor and wall finishes, nor did they consider different ways of doing their kitchens.” Only when multinationals entered the Indian market and set up offices having interiors on par with their overseas centres did the nation wake up. “People would visit these offices and be amazed by the interiors. They aspired for similar interiors in their homes,”says Srinivasan. Interior designing is now recognized as a distinct profession- quite different from the decorators and architects, who have been dominating the field for historic reasons. Though the subject has gained considerable importance, it is still relatively nascent; hence there is still a dearth of good and innovative designers in our country.

Criteria

To join a course in this field one should have completed her 12th standard. “Passion is the main criteria in this field.

One has to be creative and have a liking for the subject. Success in this field depends on one’s design vocabulary and drawing skills,” says Srinivasan. Design vocabulary would refer to the student’s understanding of space, colour, usage of material and an understanding of various styles – from Victorian, Gothic, Indian (like Chettinad, Rajput or Mughal) to the contemporary. “The candidate should be able to play with the various elements of styling and the technologies available to incorporate them. He should try out new and different things. The materials are all available - how it gets coordinated and assembled, is interior designing,” Srinivasan says. This is one of the few courses that does not have an age limit for entry. “We have students even above 40 years, working for MNCs, who want to learn interior designing out of interest,” says Sharmila KV, counsellor, Dream Zone.

While most institutes do not have entrance tests, some colleges like the MEASI Academy of Architecture consider the National Aptitude Test in Architecture (NATA) while admitting students for their B.Arch in Interior Design.

Course

One can opt to do a Bachelor’s or Master’s degree in Interior Design. Alternatively, one can enrol in a short diploma course or a one-year masters diploma course in Interior Designing. “The degree course is more practical in its approach. There is a project for every concept of the interior, and even includes landscape design. Students get to work with architects during the course. They get many opportunities to build their portfolios,” says Sharmila. “Architect firms prefer to hire candidates with a degree rather than a diploma,” says Srinivasan. “Diploma is for those who want to gain a basic knowledge of the subject in less time,” explains Sharmila. It is beneficial for students wanting to start their own firm.

Colleges offering interior designing courses CHENNAI INIFD (B.Sc, Diploma, Advance Diploma) INIFD Campus, No 60, Ormes Road, Kilpauk, Chennai 600 010 Ph: 044-45546448 / 90030 11066 Institute of Design (One Year Part-Time Diploma) 19, TMA Towers, Dr Thirumoorthy Nagar Main Road, Nungambakkam, Chennai 600 034

All the courses start with the basics of drawing. “You have to be able to visualize and express your thoughts on print. That is the basis for all interior design sketches,” says Srinivasan. Knowledge of computer graphics and Computer Aided Design (CAD) programmes is essential. The diploma course has no examination and the students are judged on the basis of the projects they undertake. One should be careful in the choice of college while opting for the subject.

interior designing firms, who cater to various industries like theatre set designing, furniture manufacturing, hospitality industry and educational institutions, apart from the many corporate offices. The interior home segment is a huge market, waiting to be tapped.

Remuneration

The remuneration starts from `8000 and can even go up to a few lakhs.

“Some start off with interior designing but get into unrelated subjects like textile designing,” says Gopika Varma, Interior Designing department of Dream Zone.

“Recently, one of our students sold a kitchen for `35 lakhs (design plus hardware). This is the kind of money you can make if you are really creative and have a liking for this art,” says Gopika. Architects are also willing to pay whatever the candidate demands, if his design fetches them a deal.

Career Opportunities

Present Scenario

“It is ideally suited for women entrepreneurs who want work-flexibility and would like to try something new. They have an inherent ability to judge the aesthetics of the interiors,” says Srinivasan. Full-time work can be obtained with architectural firms and

Ph: 044-28230588 / 98401 83372 Dream Zone (Master Diploma And Diploma In Interior Architecture And Design) No 91, Dr Radhakrishna Salai, 8th Floor, Gee Cee Crystal, Office No 8C & 8D, Mylapore, Chennai 600 004 Ph: 044-45966100 University of Madras (B.Sc Interior Design And Decor) University Building, Chepauk, Chennai 600 005 Ph: 044-25399570 MEASI Academy of Architecture [B.Arch

Today, there is an increasing demand for specialization. “We have a huge catalogue with a thousand varieties of just lighting! Each aspect of interior designing is an ocean in itself,” says Srinivasan. n

(Interior Design) - 5 Years] Association Gardens (New College Campus), 87, Peters Road, Royapettah, Chennai 600 014 Ph: 044- 28350345 / 28350445 BENGALURU Srishti School Of Art, Design and Technology (Furniture And Interior Design Diploma- Two-and-ahalf years) PO Box No 6430, Yelahanka New Town, Doddabalapur Road, Bengaluru 560 106 Ph: 080-40447000/ 40446964

Vogue Institute Of Fashion Technology (B.Sc, Graduate Diploma) Plot No Sw 45- Sw 48, Kiadb Apparel Park Phase II. Bengaluru 561 203 Ph: 080-25304332 / 25545099 AHMEDABAD CEPT (Bachelor Of Interior Design, Master Of Interior Architecture And Design) Cept University, Kasturbhai Lalbhai Campus, Uinversity Road, Ahmedabad 380 009 Ph: 079-26302470/ 26302740

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cover story

FamilyFriendly Workplaces Options for the working woman BY NITYA VARADARAJAN

ou are going to have a baby. You are worried about what you will do after the delivery as you do not have the necessary support at home to take care of your child. Should you resign? But you donâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t want to. What should you do to ensure that you remain a working mother? In the last 10-15 years, at least 1.2 million women, who are graduates and more, have left the workplace after marriage to start a family. If they were working today, they would be collectively earning `50 billion (courtesy: FLEXI Careers). Still many more mothers are at crossroads today, wondering whether to continue working or not. This dilemma of working mothers is leading to high attrition rates. Many companies are wondering how to address this problem. When Parent Circle spoke to a few mothers working at various companies, they said that they considered resigning either because the commute was too tiring or because of long working hours including working Saturdays. This disturbed their worklife balance, affected their health and eventually, led to very little patience in handling the home and children.

26 Parent Circle / July 2012

They also had a wishlist. They wanted companies to consider posting a mother at an office closer to home or near the preferred crĂ¨che/daycare centre (banks, insurance and financial services companies could take a lead), instead of sending them to remote offices and outstations. NonIT companies can deploy technology and adopt flexibility in the workplace. For instance, usage of video-conferencing facilities, BlackBerry, and email approvals instead of signed memos can easily bring a few flexi-work options into the workplace. A few mothers added that companies should change their perception that a woman wanting to work from home is actually opting for a slower

path. Instead, many moms double up in efficiency to finish work in lesser time (because they also have parenting duties) when working from home.

What workplaces offer

India Inc is slow to take on board the mom. The Human Resources (HR) people still prefer to measure how indispensable she is to the company rather than genuinely empathize with her need to balance roles at work and home. But the good news is that compared to a decade ago, there is now an awareness about a new type of inclusion – the inclusion of the working mom and favourably enabling her workplace.

IT companies and niche technology companies, in particular, spend money training people. When mothers resign because of the rigid work environment, the training costs become an ‘expense’ rather than an ‘investment’ for these companies. To avoid this, they try to help the working mom in many ways, with the degree varying from company to company. Crèches, transportation, and concierge services (to take care of their personal needs during work

But the good news is that compared to a

decade ago, now there is an awareness about

a new type of inclusion – the inclusion of the working mom and

favourably enabling her workplace.

hours) are provided by some; a few like iGate and Cognizant Technology Solutions provide conducive work areas for women in the family way; others also provide an extended sabbatical; some, besides these, offer flexi-time options and facilitate job-sharing, or give work-from-home options (IBM is well-known for its full-time work-fromhome policies). Niche technology companies also go out of the way, particularly if they are located outside the metros. The Robert Bosch Engineering and Business Solutions facility in Coimbatore gives flexi-options, draws clear career path options for women (and moms), offers extended sabbaticals beyond a year, and goes out of its way to accommodate spouses within the same company. Newly-married women wanting to move, because their husbands are working elsewhere in the IT sector where Bosch doesn’t have a facility, are prevented from doing this – the husband is enticed to work with Bosch in Coimbatore. Likewise, if a woman employee at Bosch has to go to Germany on an assignment, the company tries its best to include the husband in the trip, at least for a minimum term. Bosch even

has an arrangement with Cognizant (this works equally well for both companies) – if the woman employee is with Bosch in Coimbatore and her husband is working at a Cognizant facility elsewhere, he is shifted to Cognizant’s Coimbatore office. “As a company, we have always employed a higher ratio of women (23 -24%) compared to pure-play IT companies which employ 15 - 20% women. This is the year of diversity and inclusion for us. So, we are trying to increase this ratio,” says R Venugopal, Vice President (commercial) of Robert Bosch in Coimbatore. Says Aditya Mishra, president (staffing), at Randstad (a placement services company), “The new age sectors are leading from the front in adopting mother-friendly policies. This includes IT, ITeS, KPO (Knowledge Process Outsourcing), BPO (Business Process Outsourcing), data transcripting, and other service sector companies like recruitment, accounts processing, and travel industry back-offices, followed by top-end niche technology companies and FMCG/retail companies.” “But to benefit from such policies, irrespective of the industry she is in, the working mother has to have a marketable craft. She has to be particularly skilled in her field if the employer has to employ her with concessions and caveats. The more skilled she is in her line of work, the better her prospects,” says Saundarya Rajesh, founder of FLEXI Careers, a company that helps with career placements with flexi-options for women. If the woman is a specialist in a domain like copy writing (while bringing out a house magazine), customer psychographics (in market research)8

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cover story MNCs, more than the Indian companies,

are front runners in terms of what they

offer working mothers, though a few Indian

companies are trying to adopt good practices.

or management accounting (under a chartered accountancy head), then she can continue with her existing organization or join a new one under her own terms and conditions, without compromising on her pay. Such options for skilled women were non-existent six years ago. Companies, big and small, are however employing mothers on a part-time basis even for jobs that are not so specialized – like administration, front office work, secretarial – but on a contract basis till the time the original employee returns, says Aditya. “Sometimes, if they like the employee, they even absorb her,” he adds. “One sector that is lagging behind on

the long haul

Focusing on her career is not easy for a working mom. Often, she has to make a choice – to quit or to continue to work. Here are some options she can try to ease her life:

move out: She can shift to

another department, that is less taxing or more flexible in its approach, within the same company (if the company

28 Parent Circle / July 2012

is amenable). Sangeeta Srikumar, who runs a Math coaching centre in Chennai, observes that most of her students’ mothers prefer not to resign. “They try to shift to something less taxing in the same company which they can handle, or try for a less taxing job elsewhere, and take a lower pay. It may mean a career downgrade for a short period, but at least they will be sharpening their professional skills. When the time is appropriate, they try

to return to their earlier position,” she says. This should not be construed as a negative move – it is actually a smart move as it enables them to manage a work-life balance.

retrain: Sometimes, after a long

sabbatical, women need to retrain in the particular area of work before returning to the workplace. Depending on the skill-set and her location, there are several organizations, shortlisted

workplace enablement is the financial services sector consisting of banks and insurance,” says Gargi Bakshi, who resigned from a bank and is now working with Fleximoms, a New Delhibased company similar to FLEXI Careers. “Most companies have a rigid approach that has more to do with an ancient mindset than anything else,” says Saundarya. Standard Chartered Bank, however, has paved the way by offering a six-month maternity leave. Sabbatical is allowed and a work-from-home option for some departments is in the pipeline. The bank, which has an in-house crèche facility in Mumbai, is exploring its feasibility in other metros. “Companies in the manufacturing and construction sectors are becoming more sensitive to the needs of mothers, though they do not offer too many options,” says Aditya. With fewer women employees and moms, they have other priorities.

sudden deadline pressures, happening almost on a daily basis. MNCs, more than the Indian companies, are front runners in terms of what they offer working mothers, though a few Indian companies are trying to adopt good practices. Small and medium enterprises (SMEs), on the other hand, are willing to employ moms by offering flexi-options to get the benefit of cost arbitrage. These companies do not invest in crèches or provide other fringe benefits because they are not large employers. “If they can get a skilled chief financial officer to work half the time and pay her onefourth of her earlier takeaway, they will be only too glad to recruit,” says Saundarya. Aditya gives a listing in order of preference, on what companies offer to better enable the workplace for moms:

“Some companies are more progressive than others. The Murugappa group in Chennai, for instance, at least offers part-time work options,” he adds.

1) Laptop, data card: Many companies provide a laptop and Internet data card to flexi-working women and moms, which they can use from their homes or from the company’s office closest to their homes.

Media and advertising agencies do not offer flexi-options. Companies say that they are not amenable to these options, citing unpredictable workflows and

2) Extension of maternity leave: This is the next preferred offering of companies. Many companies go well beyond the government-mandated

by employers, that offer short courses. Some IT companies retrain such employees at their own expense.

For example, Sangeetha was in the HR space and had to resign to take care of her three-year-old daughter and ailing parents. When these responsibilities were taken care of, she was mulling her re-entry into HR. But her sister persuaded her to capitalize her strength in Math and partner her in a tuition centre instead. “Now I work for just three hours a day and earn more than I used to. I am happy with my choice,” she says.

analyze your abilities:

Often, counselling helps. Fleximoms offers workshops where it tries to identify and highlight the participating mom’s skills. The mom now has options to switch careers, if the ‘core competency’ area is not working out for her within the desired time-frame.

period and give atleast 6 months fullypaid-up. Beyond this, they allow parttime work with part-time pay. Randstad, for instance, allows the mom to begin with two hours of work and pays 25% of the salary. She can increase this to half day whenever she is more comfortable and gets paid accordingly. 3) Flexi-timings aided by working from home: With the advent of communication networks, private time and work time differences are getting blurred. Accenture India, for instance, has work-from-home policies that alternate with work at the client’s site/ project site. The medical/legal transcription industry and the BPOs, too, have fine-tuned flexi processes to perfection. They have adopted measures like work delegation (job splitting, job sharing) and remote supervision, and have also managed to make moms work from home, without any loss of production or compromising on security. 4) Long sabbatical: Many IT companies, like Cognizant, allow a long sabbatical, with one year being the norm. 5) Crèche facilities: This is largely restricted to the IT companies which have sufficient employees making use of this. But not all IT companies offer crèches at their smaller centres. A 8

train for soft skills:

The Segue programme offered by AVTAR (founded by Saundarya) teaches women soft skills like managing stress in the workplace, parenting skills needed to spend quality time with the child, and handling the new work environment. “These are not technical skills, but we bring in a smoother transition into the workplace, which gives confidence to the mother,” she says.

www.parentcircle.in 29

cover story few companies like Cognizant relocate moms to offices that are closer to their preferred crèches.

Working for this inclusion

check the workplace

You have been called for an interview, and you want the job. You are also planning to start your family. Keep your eyes and ears open, and discreetly gauge how women-friendly and mom-friendly your new employer is. 1. Ask the interviewer how many women are working in the company. 2. Check the attitude of the interviewer – does he say that you should be committed to your career 24x7? Of course, you will work, but maybe he is implying a rigidity in the company that allows for little leeway towards a worklife balance, once you have a child. 3. Are women interviewers present in the panel? 4. Does your interviewer avoid giving a direct answer when you ask him about the leave policy? 5. If you have prior work experience and feel that you have a marketable skill, you should ask about the HR policies in place for a working mom. 6. If possible, check with working moms in the company after the interview. You can be lucky and get hold of one in the canteen or on your way to the restroom. 7. Look for feedback about the company through any social media network. 8. If this IT company is an active member of eWit (an organisation empowering women in IT and ITes), then there are chances that it will listen to moms at work. 9. Do whatever research you can about the company and the sector to see how progressive it is. For example, the manufacturing sector still does not employ too many women and so cannot be expected to go overboard in helping working moms. Banking and financial services sectors, despite having a large number of women employees, are still not oriented to the concept of a work-life balance.

30 Parent Circle / July 2012

The spurt in such initiatives over the last few years did not happen by chance. From 2005, Saundarya had to do a lot of pioneering work among companies, persuading them that flexi-options for moms can create a win-win situation. Her company helped many corporates identify the areas where work can go on uninterrupted, despite making it flexible. “It was a new concept for the corporate world,” she says. Then she provided a database of women, listed with her, wanting to return to the workforce and facilitated them with jobs. The model is gaining momentum, though too slowly for her liking. Fleximoms, which began a year ago with its placement services, also advises companies on the advantages of offering flexi-work policies to women. According to Anita Vasudeva, its co-founder, there is an encouraging demand for business development services and HR services in the nonIT segments, while the smaller IT companies are not averse to flexi programme developers. “We are waiting for the day when corporates voluntarily adopt the twostep option we are advocating to employ mothers - ‘flex-iding’ (identifying the flexible portions of every job) and unbundling (deliberately deciding that some jobs should only be done through the flexi-route). Like the vegetarian and non-vegetarian labels in restaurant buffets, while posting vacancies, corporates should automatically use a red dot for non-flexi jobs and a blue dot for flexi-jobs. This should become the norm,” says Saundarya.8

www.parentcircle.in 31

cover story Sejal Vijayakar is a senior manager (Quality) at PayPal, a company that enables secure online payment services across the globe in different markets and with different currencies. She has two daughters – three-and-a-half-yearold Aryaa and one-year-old Aayati.

Mandeep Raman is an assistant manager – learning and development at Tesco HSC, a shared services centre for the global retailer. Her son Ethan is two years old. “We have the flexibility to work in convenient shifts during pregnancy. If necessary, we can prolong this arrangement after the baby is born. Like many good companies, Tesco HSC follows a strict sexual harassment policy. The last shift closes at 9.30 pm. Thankfully, there is a crèche which takes good care of my son. In fact, the company has two crèches in its offices in Bangalore. Employees from the third office close by use the shuttle service to pick up their children. If not for the crèche, I would have had to take a break from work. I am also allowed to work from home when my son falls ill, or whenever there’s a minor crisis. Once, I had to work for a week from home! I connected into the Tesco network through my laptop. Now you understand why I am with this company since 2005.”

32 Parent Circle / July 2012

“I moved to Chennai three years ago from the US where I was working with PayPal. I had a baby while I was working with PayPal in the US, and this is an extremely woman-friendly workplace. I had my apprehensions when I moved to the Chennai facility (I had my second baby here), but found the environment to be very similar. In fact, here we also engage in other activities through our various hobby clubs, socialize more and learn team-building skills – so PayPal Chennai is actually better. There is no micro-management of people, no swipe cards (in India and US). Mothers can complete work at home, come in late, make time for their children’s activities and work from home if the maid doesn’t come - no questions are asked. ‘Flexi’ is the norm. Only the team manager has to be informed to appropriately coordinate with others. In recognition of this, mothers (and everybody else) are actually more responsible, and they deliver quality work.”

Krithika Balasubramanian is the head of corporate communications at PayPal.

Deepa Srijith manages the corporate quality department at Robert Bosch Engineering. She has two children – Abhijit, 11 years and Abhinandh, 2 years. “I was working at IBM Bangalore, when I had my first baby – and the culture there was wonderful. I worked from home. My husband was with Robert Bosch in Bangalore. We decided to move to Coimbatore which is closer to Kerala. Bosch in Coimbatore also offered me a job. I managed to persuade the company to adopt many aspects of the IBM culture (like flexi-working and a separate room for mothers on every floor). I’ve had my second baby here, and for now, we are very happy.”

“I was working for many years in various companies and finally, took a break for almost two years after my daughter turned nine. She had become very ‘clingy’, was crying a lot and I realized that a grandmother (the support system in place) cannot replace a mom. When I attended the PayPal interview, I found that I could freely discuss my personal concerns. I was extremely surprised by the open culture. We can all talk freely and discuss our problems with our bosses – the culture here is more horizontal than hierarchical. There is no policing, no dashboards with snide remarks as in other IT companies, and no raised eyebrows if one leaves at 5.00 pm. Food and snacks are constantly supplied throughout the day, especially during meetings. If we have to work longer than 7.00 pm, dinner is served and a cab is provided for every individual to go home. Even my daughter doesn’t mind if I work here because she sees that I am able to spend time with her and understands how well the company is treating me.”

Rajeshwari Iyer is a brand manager at CavinKare, an FMCG company. She is also the mother of Abhinav, who is nine months old.

Simran Thapar is a HR generalist at Honeywell, that provides varied technology and engineering solutions. She has two children Reet, 6 years and Kabir, 2 years. “I was working with Hewitt Associates (an MNC HR services company) as a senior manager HR when my second child was born. After the maternity leave, the company did give me a flexi-option – I worked from home three days a week. But I was the only one availing this and there were organizational issues. The facility was withdrawn, and I resigned to take care of my children. I kept trying for other jobs with flexi-options for several months. Only the BPO sector was open, but I didn’t want to do shifts. Finally, with Fleximoms’ help, I landed a contract with Honeywell for five months for a specific role. I work two days from home and go to the office for three days. Honeywell has launched `Flexcellence’ under which they hire people like me. I like my work here, and the company is great. It treats women with respect – whether they are contractual or full-time workers.”

Somya Shrivastava is a business development executive at Avyaya Integrated Brand Solutions, a company that provides end-toend solutions in marketing. She has a two-and-a-half-year-old daughter, Anika. “I returned from the UK in December 2010 after working there for six years in the media and marketing industry. I found that ad agencies and event management companies are not flexible here. They turned me down after interviews because I needed to leave at 6.00 pm to pick up my daughter from the crèche. I filled out 50 applications and, in the interim, did voluntary work for an NGO. Finally, through Fleximoms, I landed a job with Avyaya. This is a small but established company, not very aggressive and has a good clientele. The people are very nice – we are not pressurised to make calls. We work five days a week, and I work from home, attending office when needed. I get a retainer from the company and also commissions.”

“I am from Mumbai and came to Chennai in 2009 after my marriage. I have done an MBA and was particular that I join an FMCG in a marketing capacity. CavinKare was my choice. I am a new mom, enjoying work and home. I have friends working with MNCs, and after hearing them out, I feel that there can be no company like CavinKare which is so supportive of moms. This can only happen if the people leading the company are sensitive themselves, and the attitude trickles down. When I realized that I was pregnant, I was not even in a senior position. But the company swung into action and allotted me a resource person who could travel on my behalf. Normally, men cannot be expected to be sensitive to you when you are working with them across the same table. They treat you like a guy and are not worried about what a woman goes through. With the job sharing, even my transition back into the company after delivery was smooth. I took a six-month maternity leave, which is more than what the company allows, though I put in a little work whenever I could, once a week in the last couple of months. Then I worked half days for a couple of months (first in the morning hours, and then in the evening) so that my son could get used to my absence. I am now back full-time. Even now, I travel only during the day and I am at home by night. My boss, who is in Mumbai, does my outstation work. In fact, the whole marketing team is in Mumbai, I am the only one here – yet nobody makes me feel guilty. Nor does anyone even broach the subject “Will you move to Mumbai?” because they know that my family is here. At every point, the company’s attitude is “Your comfort is all-important, how can we help?”, and it tailors its policies keeping in mind our needs. It has my complete loyalty.” n

www.parentcircle.in 33

feature

The Great Indian Holiday AN NRI VACATION BY RANGASHREE SRINIVAS

wo-year-old Aryan’s parents, Preethi and Ashok, brought him to India for a trip ‘back home’. His parents were very excited about USborn Aryan’s first visit to India, as were his grandparents and a host of other relatives on both sides of the family. Temple visits, thulabharams* and at least two mottais** were planned for him, besides a trip to see the Taj Mahal. The parents, both IT professionals, had just about a month to spare; so the trip was packed back-to-back. Cherubic Aryan’s first impression of India was a complex canvas of smells, colours and searing heat. Swinging between the discomforts of unexpected sensations to the joys of being cuddled by loving arms, Aryan fell ill. Though the locality was largely insect-free, the mosquito brigade zeroed in to feast on the new arrival. An allergic reaction set off a rash, forcing Aryan and his parents to stay at home in air-conditioned comfort.

34 Parent Circle / July 2012

Most Indians who live abroad yearn to return to their homeland. But they are beset with problems. The parents are usually first or second generation NRIs; for their children, India remains a foreign country. This, despite the best efforts parents make to familiarize their children about the ‘homeland’. Distant memories of an idyllic childhood are replaced with a culture shock as adults meet a different India. What do NRI families expect from their great Indian holiday?

FAMILY, FAMILY, FAMILY Most NRIs say that they visit India to be with their family and friends. Nineteenyear-old Aditya’s mother Ramalakshmi Dilip has been living in the US for the last eight years. “I don’t get to spend much time with my extended family. If I attend someone’s marriage, I get to see my extended family,” she says. For Aditya, the holiday means visiting his birthplace.

Lata Hariharan, mother of teenagers Tejus and Rachna, says that being with family is the primary reason why she visits India every year. Her children love meeting her siblings and the paternal and maternal grandparents. Mohan Sreenivasan, a second generation NRI who lives in Qatar, says that his son Abhinav (16) and daughter Ananya (11) look forward to meeting their grandparents and relatives, travelling in trains, and eating out at restaurants. He feels that the cost of visiting India every year is nothing compared to the joy of being with loved ones.

INDIA IS...

Aditya enjoying a dhaba meal with his mother, aunt and uncle

“Such a lively place with something going on every minute,” declares 18-year-old Shreya. During her stay, she volunteered at an orphanage. Her mother Radhika says that though her children rarely get bored in India, their summer vacations never coincide with the Indian vacations. The summer camps in India are over by the time they come visiting. Keeping her children occupied is a challenge. “We

used to make them attend tennis and swimming classes here. Sometimes, they meet their friends from the US who are in India for vacation. I wish there were workshops for NRI children during the July/August vacation,” she says. Shama Vishwanathan’s children, Kavi (14) and Kavya (9), have mixed feelings about visiting India. It is a mix of fun and boredom for them. Shama loves spending time with her family but thinks it is not much fun for the children. “Summer to them means the pool or the beach, and hanging out with friends. Since these options are limited in India, they get bored. For how long can they watch TV? They do not want to go out as it is either too hot or crowded. Maybe I should bring them more often so that they adapt better,” says Shama. “I wish there were activities involving art, music or outdoor sports. But I try not to over-engage the kids during summer, as they have enough activities during the school year. It is up to them to make the most of their time in India,” she adds. Lata plans trips to museums, zoos, temples, restaurants and takes her children shopping. She plans to involve her daughter in an NGO activity this summer. “India has so much variety and culture between the different states and communities. It is hard to expose this to children in a short visit. Ideally, I would like an engaging way to show a snapshot of the culture of different

Lata Hariharan and family

states - almost like the Taman Mini recreational park of Indonesia,” says Lata.

TERRIFIED OF... While most NRIs ‘brave’ their India visits cheerfully, some are terrified of bugs and other such inconveniences. Kavi and Kavya are horrified of mosquitoes, crowds, people coming too close, and wet bathrooms. Ramalakshmi worries about road accidents. “Because of too many people and the way people drive in India, I am always worried about my son’s presence in India,” she shudders. Radhika Srinivas has a solution to one problem. “Earlier, whenever we visited India with our young children, health was a major concern. They fell sick during the first two visits. But the trick is to keep coming to make them immune to the environment,” she says.

LIVING IN INDIA

Radhika Srinivas and family

Radhika Srinivas has lived in the US since the early 90s. Her family moved to India in 2008 and is now relocating to the US for professional and educational reasons. Her teenage daughters, Shreya and Divya, found it difficult to adjust to the culture. Radhika feels that visiting India and living here are two different things. “When I lived in India, I was not inclined and did not visit the US even once. But while living in the US, I had a great yearning to visit India every other year. I am sure our four-year stay here will help my daughters forge a strong bond with India,” she says.

Meera Gopinath, 17 years I am a first generation NRI as my parents grew up in India and I was born in the US. I have lived all my life in the US. When I was younger, I visited India every other year, but I haven’t been to India for the last four-five years. In India, I try to meet my extended family as much as possible. I have not seen too many places in India, but plan to do so in the future. I WORRY ABOUT falling ill and dirty bathrooms. I have also become more conscious of my accent. I SPEND TIME with cousins, watch a movie, read a book, or watch TV if everyone else is busy. I don’t like the heat and also the times when no one is at home. I LOOK FORWARD to experiencing something different from my usual surroundings. I guess my expectations are in sync with my parents’, although they might want to do other things like visiting temples.

Most NRI children do not think that they will ever live in India. “I love Indian culture, the idea of tradition and structure in India which is very different from that of the US. But, I don’t think I would ever permanently want to live in India because I am used to the US,” says 17-year-old Meera Gopinath from Ohio.8 *Thulabharam: The ceremony where the devotee takes a vow and makes an offering of sugar, coconut, butter, coconut water, gold, silver, copper or flowers equivalent to his weight, usually at the Guruvayoor Sri Krishna Temple. **Mottai: A shaving-the-head ceremony related either to a custom or to a vow, done in an ancestral temple or other temples of choice.

www.parentcircle.in 35

feature

What to do when in India DRESS Pack loose-fitting light cottons for the usual vacation period of July to September. During this period, most places in India experience hot and humid weather with the onset of monsoons. Wear long pants and longsleeved shirts to protect the skin from insect bites. Accessorize with a cotton scarf or dupatta, versatile as a head cover against sun or rain and a mask to protect you from dust. While walking in infested areas, pull up your socks over your pant cuffs and don’t forget to shower at the earliest. To walk down streets, wear comfortable open-toed sandals or slippers.

HEALTH

Research the common infections prevalent in your place of visit in India and get your child vaccinated. Bring along some natural insect repellent sprays.

FOOD AND WATER If your child is fussy about foods, it is advisable to bring along some snacks, cereals or other favourites. Today most cities have specialized stores that sell imported food items, though they can be quite expensive. Drink only mineral water from reputed brands. It is advisable to consume milk from tetrapacks or to drink boiled milk, fresh from a cow if there is one at home! Be careful about eating out. Ensure that the food is prepared and handled in a hygienic manner. It is better to eat

36 Parent Circle / July 2012

Namrata Sampath, 13 years

cooked vegetables and fruits. When using fresh fruits or vegetables, peel the skin or thoroughly wash them before consuming them.

ENJOY A SLICE OF LIFE Encourage

I was born, and have lived, in San Diego since 1999. I visit India once every four years to meet family and friends. I have quite a few cousins, uncles, aunts and of course, my grandparents! I enjoy the visit as the environment is different. I look forward to playing games with my cousins. I read the newspaper, and help thatha with his crossword and sudoku. I fear unclean bathrooms the most. And, there is a small chance that you might fall off an autorickshaw!

No, I don’t think I will relocate to India. But my dad says your children to try don’t ever say ‘never’ as two of his best friends have out different modes moved to India! of transport from a bullock cart or Delhi from the Rashtrapati Bhavan to a horse-drawn the Red Fort to Gandhi Smriti to name cart, to the local a few. bus or a cycle rickshaw or trains. Golconda Fort and Salarjung museum Send your teen on a in Hyderabad display architectural relics cycling trip with other local youngsters. and memorabilia from the Mughal period up to British era. Try out different foods like chaat, local cuisine and farm food from hygienic Dakshina Chitra, near Chennai, has eateries. Avoid street food even at the full-scale models of traditional homes risk of being labelled snobbish. from all southern states that reveal interesting stories of how our ancestors Savour life at a small village near the lived centuries ago. Local craftsman not city of your stay - preferably your only demonstrate the making of their ancestral village. For instance, even if crafts, but also allow visitors to try their there is running water in the bathroom, hand at making them. enjoy at least one family bath near the well or under the pump set! Drink Monetary museum and museum ship tender coconut water and sleep under Vikrant in Mumbai give you a glimpse the stars if the weather is clear. of the Indian economy and sea warfare.

SNAPSHOTS Most Indian cities boast of nearby attractions that allow a peek into culture. Some of them are: Dilli Haat near New Delhi which has authentic craft and food stalls from northern and western India. There are several historic sites and museums in

Nrityagram Village near Bengaluru pays homage to all classical dance forms of India. Shantiniketan near Kolkata houses the famed Viswa-Bharati University founded by Rabindranath Tagore. Shantiniketan is a must-see for your family to understand the cultural side of eastern India. n

feature

, Ananth Rangan

The most amazing thing in

9 years, US

India!

Aditi Sri ram,

4 years, Japan

t at the gentle gian Elephants! I met m when I near Kumbakona e pl m te an pp Uppilia some bananas ars old. I fed him was about 5 ye feed him more! and wanted to

I love meeting my cousins in India. I donâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t get to pl ay with many ch ildren in Japan. Here, it is so much fu n!

Saisri & Prashanthi Rayapa ti,

9 years, US

The most amazin g thing that we sa w in India is the beautif ul Taj Mahal.

38 Parent Circle / July 2012

Shreya & Saanvi Arva l,

7½ & 5 years, US

We get to eat biry ani wherever we go. We can travel in au torickshaws and on bikes. In our Amam ma’s house, there are two dogs and so many helpers at home. We love go ing there.

Tara Prasad,

11 years, London

The most amazing thing I saw in India was when I was swimming in the pool at the Taj Hotel in Bangalore. The pool was surrounded by lots of old trees and at sunset, there were bats flying around. It felt like I was swimming in the middle of a jungle! I also love the Indian summer as in London it almost rains all the time!

Sheena and Shirin Deepak,

US 8-year-old twins,

in India, Shirin: I love my family stuff! Indian food and Indian d the an ach be Sheena: I love the ds. san the shells that I can pick off

Esran Nilakanta Douma,

8 years, Netherlan

In India, I love the auto ricks haw rides, and bath from a bu taking cket of water and a mug. It’ to see railway s amazing s stations so fu ll of people. I watching the lo ve trains at the st ations.

www.parentcircle.in 39

nutrition

YOUR CHILD’S WELL-BEING

Diet and digestion BY SMITHA SURESH

oes your child suffer from gastro-intestinal troubles like constipation, flatulence, stomach pain or even acid reflux (common in infants) on a regular basis? Children’s guts, unlike those of adults, are still developing. Guts get stronger as they get used to food varieties. Uncomfortable gastric symptoms can be experienced till a child is seven years old. After seven years, his gut gets almost as strong as that of an adult.

old, as the baby needs more nutrients and calories. Introduce cereal foods containing rice, millets (ragi, varagu), oats, along with pulses, one by one. Cow's milk and wheat need to be introduced carefully, one after the other, in small amounts and with other foods. See if your child is comfortable digesting these, does not show any signs of gastro-intestinal distress, and has normal stools. If the child is not comfortable, then immediately stop both as it could lead to severe allergies later. Try to re-introduce at one year. Often, diluted curd would be tolerated where milk is not; use this to ensure your child’s Vitamin B 12 supply which is not found in plant sources.

For the first six months, the child should be exclusively breastfed, unless the feed is totally or partially inadequate for the child. Research is taking place on the benefits of formulations which are 100% organic and natural, which were being used by our ancestors and village elders, for infants who did not have access to mother’s milk.

Soy, shellfish, fish, peanuts, tree nuts, and eggs are allergens and ideally should not be introduced to a child until he is a year old. The child needs these initial months to develop a basal digestive capacity and immunity level.

Breast milk sets up your child’s immune system by enabling it to produce antibodies and immunoglobulins. Through its bacterial content (lactobacillus bifidus), it keeps harmful pathogens at bay. Besides, breastfeeding safely introduces bacteria from the environment into the infant’s colon, helping build the intestinal flora, which in turn produces Vitamin K and other nutrients.

An allergy manifests externally as rashes, breathlessness, wheezing symptoms or a dry cough; but the lining of the digestive system is the first to come into contact with the allergen and is the most vulnerable. In fact, the child may initially experience diarrhoea, vomiting, gas build-up and abdominal pain, which are attempts to get rid of the allergen and foreign bodies.

Along with mother’s milk, soft and well-cooked foods should be introduced to the child once he turns six months

It is wise not to feed children any junk food till they are two years old, and even then it should not be made into a

40 Parent Circle / July 2012

habit. While biscuits, instant noodles, burgers, pizzas and fries are not good for their gut health, there are many more equivalent Indian junk foods. Avoid feeding children large quantities of refined cereals like white rice, rava and maida - these are easy sources of energy, but have no nutrients. Go whole grain.

When to go to the doctor: If your child is vomiting, is showing signs of dehydration / has severe abdominal pain / has fever along with digestive problems, consult the doctor.

TIPS FOR THE LITTLE ONES (0 – 2 YEARS): While feeding, keep the infant’s body at an angle of at least 40 degrees to prevent food/breast milk from flowing back into the oesophagus once it reaches her stomach. Burp the child during and after the feed. If your child spits up regularly and also makes a fuss when being fed,

if she is not gaining weight and is irritable – the problem could be a gastro - oesophageal reflux disorder or GERD. You should meet your paediatrician. While breastfeeding, stay off spicy, high fat, gas-causing foods – these might cause disturbances in your infant’s digestion. Drink lots of water minimum 3 litres per day. Avoid giving children sugar or salt in the first 2 years of life –they will get their carbohydrates and sodium from other natural foods. The food may appear bland to you, but the probability of your child getting addicted to junk food later in life is minimized. In fact, he may just relish his fruits, veggies and other natural foods all the more. Use herbs and spices to make foods interesting. Use malted whole grains after six months of age as these are richer in nutrients and easier to digest. Malted grains are Amylase Rich Foods which can be given during the weaning process. These foods consist of cereal grains and grams (legumes) ground together. Feed children small amounts of food, more frequently. Avoid tight diapers and waistbands.

FOR OLDER CHILDREN (2 – 7 YEARS): Help children stick to a healthy toilet routine. For some children, this routine allows for bowel movements thrice a day, for others, once in 2 days. Ensure frequent urination. Serve food slightly warmer than room temperature. Avoid extremely hot and very cold foods. Ensure sufficient fibre intake by including whole grains, pulses (legumes), fruits, green leaves and other vegetables. Even sprouts can be made attractive with a little imagination. Expose your child to different food

textures - crunchy salad veggies, nuts, pappads (roasted) are some examples. They are capable of eating these foods which provide valuable nutrients. You can even start chappathis and bread at the age of 1 ½ to 2 years – just make sure that they are chewing properly and that no food is stuck between the gums or on the palate. Fluids – 1.5 litres of water per day is ideal but ensure that you also give whole fruits and vegetables containing water, buttermilk, tender coconut water, rasam and soups. Watch your child’s fluid intake as mild dehydration can occur very easily. Habituate him to asking for and drinking water regularly. Exercise – this scientifically proven link between physical activity and digestion holds true for children and adults. Keep them active by playing vigorously with them. Every human being’s digestive system is unique – it responds differently to various stimuli. You have to try different foods with children and learn from your errors. As your child’s gut health finally rests with you, it may mean new healthy habits for the whole family. n SMITHA SURESH IS A CHENNAI-BASED NUTRITIONIST EXPERIENCED IN CLINICAL FITNESS AND CORPORATE NUTRITION COUNSELLING.

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Refined Free Flowing Iodised salt Kristal = Salt Salt = Kristal ESCEE INFRASTRUCTURE (P) LTD. (An ISO 9001-2008 Certified Company) Manufacturers of: ESCEE Kristal Iodised Free Flow / Crystal Salt, No.37, Nelson Manickam Road, 6th Floor, Aminjikarai, Chennai - 600 029. Phone: 24808888, 24808834 Fax: 23742525 E: salt@escee.in W: www.escee.in www.parentcircle.in 41

health circle

Care for your child’s hair BY SHASHWATHI SANDEEP As a mother cuddles her baby, she naturally caresses her baby’s soft, gentle hair. Here are some tips that will ensure that your child continues to have lively, healthy hair as she grows older.

1. w a s h in g “Hair should be washed at least twice in a week. As far as possible, use a separate shampoo and conditioner,” says Vasundhra Vasu, a cosmetologist who owns a salon called The Visible Difference. A good shampoo should have a pH of 4.5 to 5.5 and should have sodium citrate as a neutralising agent. “If possible, use herbal products as they are safe,” says Edna Mahajan, a hairdresser in Chennai. Natural shampoos are infused with vitamins and antioxidants which will moisturize your child’s hair. You can also make your own shampoo for your child by mixing one-fourth cup of distilled water with an equivalent amount of herbal green tea. Add to this some lemon juice and honey.

42 Parent Circle / July 2012

2 . a ft e r a shower After a shower, gently squeeze the water out of the hair with a towel. Rubbing too hard with a towel can make the hair frizzy and cause it to fall. Use a wide tooth comb on wet hair, as any other comb can pull out lots of hair. Avoid using the hair dryer directly on wet hair as the heat can make the hair dry. Leave your child’s hair loose when wet, since tying it up immediately can cause the hair to get all tangled up.

5 . tr im m in g Trimming will reduce spilt ends and keep the hair healthy. “Trim once in two months for girls, and once a month for boys,” adds Edna.

4. br us hi ng

3 . o ili n g Your child’s hair will grow better if he oils his hair regularly. “You need to massage the scalp as this helps the blood flow to the hair roots and nourishes the hair,” says Vasundhra. Oil is a good lubricant. She recommends olive or coconut oil, which doubles up as a natural sunscreen, and keeps the hair moist. Though the summer sun is good for the hair, prolonged exposure can cause dryness.

6. di et Fruits and vegetables, including orange and yellow vegetables containing vitamin A, help promote a healthy scalp. Strawberries, citrus fruits, dark green vegetables and tomatoes contain vitamin C which prevents hair breakage. Vitamin E in green leafy vegetables, and proteins in egg and fish also promote healthy hair.

8 . ac ce ss or ies 9 . lic e “Wearing tight rubber bands can cause balding later. Avoid heavy metal clips as they damage the roots. Children should use plastic or light metal clips as accessories,” says Vasundhra.

Lice can be treated with a good anti-lice lotion. “At home, you can grind tulsi leaves and apply it on your child’s hair for about 20 minutes. Wash it off later,” says Vasundhra.

Brushing helps blood circulation in the scalp. “The hair should be brushed from the bottom and worked till the top, removing the knots along the way,” says Edna. “For curly hair, combs with big teeth should be used. For straight hair, use a brush with smaller teeth. Combs with very small teeth harm the hair,” adds Edna.

7 . exe rc is e Regular exercise stimulates blood circulation and hair growth.

10 . da nd ru ff Paediatricians say that this is more common in children as they reach puberty. It can be treated by alternately washing the hair with a medicated shampoo and a mild shampoo. Home remedies often work well on children - like applying warm coconut/olive oil and massaging the scalp and leaving it overnight, before washing with a gentle shampoo. Massaging the hair with a mixture of vinegar and warm water also helps. Note that if any shampoo is not completely washed off, or if conditioners or other styling products are used when there is dandruff, it could worsen the condition.n

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ADVERTORIAL

TAKING CARE OF YOUR CHILD’S EYES

are excellent sources of education and entertainment for children. But, too much screen time can lead to eye irritation and fatigue. It is wise to monitor and limit the time your child spends playing video games, watching television and on the internet. Viewing distance should be five times the oblique diameter of the television screen. For example, for a 20- 22-inch screen, a distance of 10 feet should be maintained. Keep the lights on to decrease the glare from the screen. Children should be encouraged to frequently blink their eyes and to take short breaks while watching television.

by Dr.Bina John, Paediatric Ophthalmologist, Rajan Eye Care Hospital, Chennai

Recognising emergencies Symptoms and signs that a child requires urgent attention include pain, defective vision, swelling/cut of the lids, red eye, white opacity of the cornea, blood in the eye, foreign body seen on the eye especially on the cornea.

ealthy eyes and good vision are a critical part of a child’s development. Untreated eye problems, in addition to causing visual impairment, can also lead to problems like learning disability and adjustment issues at school. Most eye problems in children can be corrected if they are detected and treated early. Symptoms of eye problems in children • Trouble seeing the board clearly • Squeezing his eyes to see better • Holding head at an awkward angle • Holding the book close to the face while reading • Headaches and eye strain/tired eyes after reading, watching TV • Watching TV from close • Red or itchy eye • Extreme light sensitivity • Involuntary movements of the eyes • White reflex in the pupil

Common Eye Problems Common eye problems in children include refractive errors, squints, lazy eye and injuries. Uncommon problems include cataracts, drooping eyelids, tumours and hereditary eye diseases. What causes eye injuries Eye injuries occur both at home and school. At home, the child can injure himself against furniture/toys with sharp edges or when he comes into contact with chemicals, glues and detergents. Household items like paper clips and rubber bands can also injure the eye. At school, eye injuries can occur in classrooms, laboratories or on the playground. TV, video games, and the internet

44 Parent Circle / July 2012

Good reading habits to prevent eye problems • The child should read in a chair with good back support and the light directed at the book. • The reading distance should be 14 inches (35 cm). • Daytime reading near a window with natural light is preferable. • Children should never read under a flickering tubelight and should preferably study in the mornings when the eyes are fresh. Taking care of your children’s eyes • Regular eye check-ups are a must. • Foods rich in Vitamin A like carrots, fish, eggs, milk and milk products, nuts, and green leafy vegetables like spinach improve the health of the cornea, conjunctiva and retina and prevent night vision problems. • Keep chemicals and sprays out of children’s reach. • Parents should choose toys appropriate for the child’s age. • Do not allow children to play with sharp objects. • Any eye injury should be seen by an ophthalmologist. n

www.parentcircle.in 45

ADVERTORIAL

DENTAL CARE FOR CHILDREN Teeth should be regularly cleaned to maintain your child’s dental health. According to a World Health Organization (WHO) handbook, some of the common dental problems in Indian children are: • Teething problems (Symptoms: Baby's gums may be red and swollen; vomiting, diarrhoea and fever) • Dental caries (tooth discolouration; sensitivity to hot, cold and sweet food; small amounts of food debris stuck in tooth) • Gum diseases (bleeding of gums, bad breath) • Irregular teeth (Malocclusion)

Here are a few tips that will go a long way in keeping your child’s teeth free from decay: General tips for infants • You can brush your baby’s teeth with a fluoride toothpaste once the first milk tooth breaks through when he is around six months old. • Use a soft toothbrush to clean your baby's gums. • Use a pea-sized amount of toothpaste. • Brush your child's teeth twice a day – once in the morning, and once just before bedtime. Brushing helps in removing plaque that is constantly formed on the teeth. • You should supervise toothbrushing until your child is seven or eight years old. You can brush their teeth yourself or ensure that they are brushing correctly. • Ensure that they brush their teeth for at least two minutes. Brushing tips for older children (Source: WHO) Replace their toothbrush every three months or sooner if the bristles begin to look worn out. A new toothbrush removes 30% more plaque than one that is three months old. • Choose a toothbrush with a brushhead design that can reach hard-to-reach places of the mouth. • The toothbrush should have soft bristles that are gentle on your teeth and gums.

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• • • •

•

The handle of the toothbrush should be comfortable. Do not share brushes between children. Use toothpaste that contains fluoride. Fluoride is proven to help prevent caries. Teach your child to clean between teeth daily to remove the plaque from areas where the toothbrush cannot reach. Ensure that your child rinses her mouth after every meal.

Food and oral health (Source: WHO) • Children can eat sweets, but it is important to restrict the intake of sweets to mealtimes. • The main cause of tooth decay is consumption of excess sugar. The more often the child has foods or drinks containing sugar, the more likely they are to develop caries. • Well-balanced and nutritious diet promotes good oral health. • Between meals, snacks should be reduced, especially of foods which contain sugar or carbohydrates to inhibit acid formation. • Make your child eat/drink foods like milk, fruits, vegetables and eggs which are rich in vitamins and minerals. • Crunchy fruits like apples and carrots help to clean the teeth. Visiting a dentist Once you establish a brushing routine at home for your baby, the next step will be the first trip to the dentist. These tips can make this a lot easier: • Take your child to the dentist at least once before they are two years old. This will help the dentist to identify and prevent tooth problems at an early stage. • Take your child with you when you go for your own dental check-up appointments so that they get used to it. Older children should be taken to the dentist twice a year for dental check-up. n

www.parentcircle.in 47

money wise E

Make your child learn about money BY VENKATESH VARADACHARI

our child sees an advertisement and wants to buy the product. You know that the product is not worth it, but you do not know how to convince him about it. You also feel that he takes money for granted – does not know that it has to be valued, and earned. Game-based activities can teach your children to be financially-savvy, unlike lectures. These games are best played with a group or several groups of children, with you acting as a moderator. Here are two games – the first one, Fact or Opinion, will teach, your child not to be misguided by advertisements and the second one, Coffee Wizards, will educate him about the process of making/earning money and valuing it. Coffee Wizards offers varied benefits: w Children are exposed to the complexities of running a business – they become entrepreneurs. They get to understand the concepts of profit and loss, sales and budgeting. w They learn to manage money and inventory. They learn to spend money wisely and also save it. w They learn to make independent financial and business decisions. They try to increase demand, and sell the cups of coffee at a good price to make profits. n VENKATESH VARADACHARI IS THE FOUNDER OF MONEY WIZARDS, AN ORGANISATION THAT HOLDS WORKSHOPS TO MAKE CHILDREN FINANCIALLY-SAVVY.

48 Parent Circle / July 2012

GAM

FACT OR OPINION

This game teaches the children to see through exploitative and predatory advertising tactics. First, ask the children to name the places where they can see a product or service advertised. They will realize that we are bombarded by advertisements wherever we are and wherever we go. Now ask them why companies advertise so much. They will learn that advertising is not bad in itself. Even a great company like Apple needs to advertise to let the world know about its products. Advertisements bring about awareness of products and their attributes to consumers. Now explain to children that companies also try to push people to deliberately buy products. They use celebrities to endorse products, in which opinions are given out as facts. Once they learn this, the fun part begins. Ask them to cut around 10 different advertisements from magazines and newspapers. They can also discuss television ads. With each advertisement, ask them whether the advertising claims are a fact or an opinion. After a few trials, most children get a good idea of the difference between fact-based advertising and opinion-based advertising. Hopefully, they will become immune to manipulative advertising.

GAM

COFFEE WIZARDS

In this business simulation game, children form groups. Each group manages a coffee shop selling hot and cold coffee. The game’s objective is to make profits, and the groups compete for customers. The simulation changes the weather conditions, and price of the ingredients. Through this game, the children learn sophisticated concepts like pricing strategy, inventory management, demand forecasting, value for money propositions, and the importance of customer goodwill. At the onset of the game, the participants are given a certain amount of cash to stock ingredients. There are different types of ingredients available at different prices - two or three different varieties of coffee, sugar and milk. Parents can involve their children in making the packs containing the various ingredients, and in creating the simulation boards. Participants decide on the stocking levels of ingredients. They can buy in bulk for a lower unit price or buy in smaller quantities for higher unit prices. They also decide on the ingredient mix to make a cup of coffee. They forecast demand based on weather conditions and other news items. If they understock the inventory (ingredients), then they cannot meet the demand. If they overstock, the inventory may go bad. The game administrator provides the feedback on the coffee as a customer, based on the type of coffee and pricing. Customer loyalty is gained by positively reacting to customer feedback.

roots BY VIJAY KUMAR

goblins & gopurams This series of articles aims at making parents and children understand the wealth of our sculptural heritage, and through it, our rich historical past. The previous article in our April issue spoke about the Kailasanatha temple in Kanchipuram, where Vijay Kumar draws his nine-year-old son’s attention to its monuments, paintings and legends. The journey continues.

came across the familiar blue boards of the Archaeological Survey of India (ASI) which had fenced off the entire hillock. “Appa, what is up there?” “We are going to see four sets of caves in this place. This is the first one.” “Caves? You mean prehistoric limestone caves. Will there be bats inside?” “No, boy. These were cut by the hands of man. To give them a date will be tough as only two of the four have

PHOTO COURTESY: MR SATHEESH KUMAR RAJAMANICKAM & MS KAVITHA KALYAN

s this the correct route to Mamandur?”, my son asked as he rolled down the glass of the car window. The heat and the dust hit us instantly. ‘Thoosi Mamandur. Do not just say Mamandur – there are many Mamandurs around here.’ I corrected from past experience. We were still in Kanchipuram and it was past noon, when finally a traffic cop gave us the right directions. We turned left towards Thoosi enroute to Narasamangalam. “Just 7 ½ miles from here,” he repeated as I gunned the accelerator to get the fullest blast from the air-conditioner. Whoever named the town Thoosi was left with no choice. We reached a sweeping expanse of white sand before we realized that this was once the mighty Palar river and it was then that we realized that the road was a state

50 Parent Circle / July 2012

highway - SH 116. “How much is 7 ½ miles in kilometres?”, my son asked, sounding impatient. “About 12 km.” “Where are we going? I am hungry!” The boy was feeling bored (he had already finished two Asterix comics and was halfway into his Hardy Boys Digest!) “1,300 years ago, this place was the heart of the Pallava kingdom and this river fed their lands.” I tried to get back his attention. We had almost passed Thoosi village and the next bend would get us into Narasamangalam. “Keep looking for a road on your right which will take us near those hillocks you see.” Nearby, a pumpset noisily announced itself and we could not resist its refreshing water. We decided to stop for a break. We polished off a sumptuous feast of tamarind rice and lemon rice with fried vadams and healthy helpings of curd rice and mango pickle – all the while sitting on the low parapet of a culvert with our legs dangling in the cool waters flowing into the nearby fields. We hurried on the correct path now and

inscriptions in them. And, yes, there will be bats!” “Wow, they have cut into the rock to create a room with pillars!” “Yes, this is an unfinished cave. Most likely, they spotted a fault in the rock and left it unfinished. But you can get an idea of their ways from the marks. There, in the next hillock, you will see a much larger excavation.” “Dad, it is fantastic! There are two rows of pillars in this cave and they have even gone around the mountain

carving the side.” “Yes, there are a total of nine shrines cut into the mother rock – five on the back wall and two each on the sides.” “Which Gods were inside? They are all empty now!” “Sadly, we do not know that as there are neither inscriptions nor door guardians in this cave. No other cave in South India has as many shrines for us to attempt a guess.” “But you said Raja Raja Chola visited this place?” “Yes, there are two more caves, and you have to walk some more to see them.” We finished off two more bottles of water by the time we rounded the curve.

“There they are – the most finished ones.” “The first cave has inscriptions of not only Raja Raja Chola but also his greatgrandfather Parantaka Chola I.”

“You mean this cave was cut by the Cholas?” “No, they were there before the Cholas came. They were most likely excavated by the Pallavas about three centuries before the Cholas regained their power over South India.” “This is a temple for Shiva.” “The cave temple is actually for the trinity. The right was for Vishnu and the left for Brahma or a form of Muruga known as Brahmasasta.” “I can see only the Shiva Linga. How can you vouch for the rest, as they are all empty?” “Even the Linga, that you see now, is a later addition. During the early Pallava period ... we are talking of Mahendra Pallava who was the greatgreat grandfather of Rajasimha Pallava ... the main shrine may have housed a wooden panel or stucco which probably crumbled with age. But you can still make out who is inside, from the attendants outside. In the left side shrine, you can see the sages holding lotus buds in their hands.” “Yes, and there are old men as well.” “Yes, they are similar to the ones we see in the Trimurthi Mandabam in Mahabalipuram – assistants of Brahma or a form of Muruga as Brahmasasta. Shiva’s attendants always hold heavy maces in this period, while Vishnu’s young attendants are at the right entrance. Imagine how they were carved from the rock around 630 CE! Do not miss the inscriptions on both the side walls. They are the Chola inscriptions and interestingly, they talk of a large irrigation tank called Chitramegathataka that was here from the Pallava times. The name of the shrine was Vaaleswaram. Rajaraja’s year is mentioned as his 16th regnal year – meaning 985+16 which is 1001 CE!” “The last cave looks interesting, Dad. It is different from the previous one. It is complete, but it has no door guardians.”

“You are beginning to observe things. Good! This morning, you saw the 244 titles of Rajasimha in the Kailasanatha temple. Now, you can see the Birudas (titles) of Mahendra Pallava as Shatrumallan, Nithyavineethan and Sathyasanthan. See how the cave mentions his musical talents and the names of Valmiki and Vyasa. It also mentions a couple of famous satirical plays - Mattavilasam and Bhagavadajjuka.” “Dad, this is an information overload. How did they cut into this hard stone?” “We will see that shortly, son.” (To be continued) VIJAY KUMAR IS A COST ACCOUNTANT FROM SINGAPORE AND A SCULPTURE ENTHUSIAST DOCUMENTING HIS JOURNEY IN www.poetryinstone.in

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parent chef

C O H C

E L AT

RAS

S EE

IA C E P

K RAM

Chocolate and seasonal fruit tarts MAKES 50 MINI TARTS

Chocolate toffee shortbread bars MAKES 12 (6x10 cms) BARS INGREDIENTS All-purpose flour : 1cup Butter:1/3rd cup Brown sugar:1/2cup Vanilla extract:3/4th tsp Dark chocochips:1 cup Butterscotch balls#: 1/2 cup Salt: 1/2 tsp METHOD * Beat the brown sugar and softened butter till fluffy. * Sieve flour and salt and add this mixture to the above mixture. Add in the vanilla extract and mix to form soft dough. * Line the base and sides of 8x5 rectangular aluminium tin with baking paper. Press the dough onto the tin to form an even base. * Place in refrigerator for 10 minutes to set. * Remove and place in a preheated oven at 180째C for 18-20 minutes or till golden brown. * Remove from oven and pour the chocolate chips onto the base evenly. Place back in the oven for another minute or two till the choco-chips melt. * Using the back of a spoon or an offset spatula, even out the melted chocolate to form a layer on the short bread. * Top with crushed butterscotch balls or toasted nuts and allow to set in the refrigerator for 3-4 hours. * Remove from the tin and cut into bars of desired size. # available at Nuts 'n' Spices, can be substituted with 1/2 cup toasted nuts

52 Parent Circle / July 2012

INGREDIENTS FOR THE TART: Butter: 140g White sugar: 1/2cup Egg: 1 Vanilla extract: 1tsp All-purpose flour: 2cups Baking powder: 1/2 tsp

Salt: 1/4tsp THICK CHOCOLATE GANACHE (filling): Dark cooking chocolate: 150 g Fresh cream: 50 g

METHOD * Sieve the flour and baking powder. Add salt and set aside. * Cream the butter and sugar. Add the egg and mix well. Add the extract and sieved flour and mix together to form a soft dough. * Place the dough in the fridge after wrapping in cling film for few hours to harden up. * Place small balls of the dough in muffin moulds and press it in. Repeat with rest of the dough. Leftover dough can be wrapped in cling film and stored in freezer for 2 months. * Bake this in a preheated oven at 180째C for 15-20 minutes or till golden brown. Remove from oven and cool for 20 minutes. Unmould and store in airtight containers. FOR THE FILLING * Melt 150g dark cooking chocolate in a microwave for 1 minute. * Boil 50g fresh cream, mix into the chocolate mixture and stir till smooth. * Place in fridge till firm and pipe onto tarts. Top with fresh fruits and serve.

Chocolate cupcakes with chocolate butter cream frosting MAKES 16 CUPCAKES

INGREDIENTS Cocoa powder: 50 g Boiling hot water: 240 ml All-purpose flour: 175 g Baking powder: 2 teaspoons Salt: 1/4 teaspoon Unsalted butter (room temperature): 100 grams+ 1 tablespoon Eggs: 2

Granulated white sugar: 200 grams Pure vanilla extract: 2 teaspoons FOR BUTTER-CREAM ICING: Unsalted Butter: 100 g Icing sugar: 250 g Cocoa: 50 g Milk: 2 tsp

METHOD * In a small bowl, stir the boiling hot water and the cocoa powder until smooth. Let cool to room temperature. * In another bowl, whisk together the flour, baking powder, and salt. * Beat the butter and sugar until light and fluffy. Add the eggs, one at a time, beating until smooth. Beat in the vanilla extract. * Add the flour mixture and beat the mixture . * Then add the cooled cocoa mixture and stir until smooth. * Fill each muffin cup about two-thirds full with batter and bake for about 16-20 minutes. A toothpick inserted into a cupcake should come out clean. * Remove from oven and place on a wire rack to cool. Once the cupcakes have completely cooled, frost with icing. FOR BUTTER-CREAM ICING * Mix 100 g butter (room temperature) with 250 g icing sugar and 50g cocoa and whisk together with 1 or 2 tsp of cold milk to form a satiny smooth butter-cream icing. * Pipe onto cooled cupcakes.

Cake pops MAKES 15 POPS INGREDIENTS Cupcakes (recipe given) Butter cream icing (recipe given) Thick chocolate ganache (recipe given on facing page) Sprinkles METHOD * Crumble 6 chocolate cupcakes into a large bowl. Add 2 tsp of butter cream icing and mix. * Make balls (cake pops) out of the sticky mixture and refrigerate for an hour. * Remove and insert lollipop sticks or skewers into the cake pops and dip into chocolate ganache. Decorate with colourful sprinkles. Set in fridge for a few hours. TIP: Use any left over cake. A variety of dips such as milk chocolate, white chocolate or melted candy can be used. RASHMEE RAMKUMAR IS A CHENNAI-BASED NUTRITIONIST WHO RUNS HER OWN BAKING ENTERPRISE ‘SNOW FROSTING’.

www.parentcircle.in 53

check it out 4-6 YEARS

World Cinema

Alvin and the Chipmunks 1 LANGUAGE: English PRICE: `387 at Landmark This movie is about all things cute and cuddly. You may have seen talking dogs and cats, but here is a bunch of adorable chipmunks who sing like rock stars! The lives of three chipmunks - Alvin, Simon and Theodore – change when the tree they live on is cut and transported to Los Angeles. They meet Dave, a struggling song writer whose latest song has been rejected. Dave is about to kick the chipmunks out of his house when he hears them singing. He makes a deal with them that he will provide them with shelter and food if they sing the songs he writes. The roller coaster journey begins as the chipmunks change Dave’s destiny in unexpected ways. There are lots of ups and downs but finally, there is a happy ending! Your child is sure to enjoy the movie. Even if he does not understand the plot, he will roll with laughter at the tricks the chipmunks play. This movie will also bring out the child in you!

54 Parent Circle / July 2012

5-7 YEARS

MALLI

7-9 YEARS

The White Balloon

LANGUAGE: Tamil PRICE: `100 for CD and `150 for DVD. AVAILABLE AT: Children Film Society, Chennai PH: 24981159/24987359

LANGUAGE: Arabic AVAILABLE ON: Amazon.com with English subtitles

Malli is a ten-year-old tribal girl who loves dreaming and weaving stories. She lives with her mother in the forest while her father is away in the city, earning money for the family. Malli’s best friend is Cuckoo, a city girl who cannot speak. She also has another best friend in the form of the ‘postman uncle’.

It is the eve of the Iranian New Year and seven-year-old Razieh is upset with her mother. She sees a fat goldfish which she wants to buy for the festivities. She bribes her older brother Ali with a balloon to convince their mother to let her have the goldfish which costs 100 tomans. He convinces his mother, who now gives Razieh the last 500-toman note that she has, to buy the goldfish. Razieh sets out to buy the goldfish.

One of the village elders tells Malli about the ‘blue bead legend’ and also teaches her a rhyme for inviting the Spirit that can give her the blue bead. Malli has only two wishes – one is to get the blue bead which will cure her best friend’s illness, and the second is to own a dress. Her good friend, the postman uncle, is transferred to town. He sends her a new yellow dress, and Malli is thrilled. In the end, she discovers the blue bead by the riverside and gives it to Cuckoo, who is leaving for the city. Malli is a Nature-loving girl. She even replaces the water some poachers take from the forest pond with a handful of dew drops from the leaves. The movie, with its brilliant cinematography, is definitely worth watching.

Between their home and the fish store, Razieh loses the money twice, once to the snake charmer, and later when she drops the money through a small opening in front of a shop. Razieh and Ali try hard to retrieve the money, seeking help from others. Finally, they retrieve the money with the help of a young Afghan balloon-seller, who has only a white balloon left. The movie has a folksy charm to it. The child protagonist has lovely expressions and it is a delight to watch her perform. The acting and the story are so natural that your children will easily relate to it.

10-12 YEARS

Railway Children

12-14 YEARS

Hugo

LANGUAGE: English AVAILABLE ON: Amazon.com

LANGUAGE: English PRICE: `509, Landmark

The film traces the journey of three siblings – Roberta, Phyllis and Peter – who are forced to move with their mother from an Edwardian villa in the London suburbs to a small house in Yorkshire. Their father has been wrongly accused of selling state secrets to the Russians and he is imprisoned.

The movie is set in France in the 1930s. Hugo Cabret is a 12-yearold boy who lives with his father, a master clockmaker in Paris. Hugo's father, who loves the films of Georges Méliès, takes him to see films. After Hugo's father dies, he is taken away by his uncle, an alcoholic watchmaker who subsequently disappears. Hugo’s only ambition is to repair a broken mechanical man, belonging to his father, as a fulfillment of his last wish.

The three children keep themselves busy by watching the trains pass by and waving to the passengers. They make friends with the station master, the porter and a mysterious old man who regularly takes the 9:15 down train. The eldest daughter discovers the truth of her father’s absence and seeks the old man’s help to get their father back. The movie portrays the myriad emotions of children and adults. Sibling relations, their relations with the station master and the old man has been realistically portrayed.

He finds a friend in Isabelle, an orphan with the key to the mechanical man. When they use the key to activate it, it produces a drawing of a film scene, signed by Georges Méliès. Isabelle recognises the signature as being the name of her godfather, Papa Georges. How Papa Georges returns to the ‘magical’ world of cinemas forms the rest of the story. The visuals are mesmerising, with magnificent sets. At first, the plot may seem slow but, gradually, the story picks up. Watch this movie once, and you will want to watch it again and again.

14-16 YEARS

Life is Beautiful LANGUAGE: Italian and English PRICE: `339 on Flipkart.com

Life Is Beautiful is a 1997 Italian film which tells the story of the Jewish Italian, Guido. He marries Dora, a wealthy non-Jew.Years pass and they have a son, Giosuè. Life is beautiful for this family till World War II begins. Guido, Uncle Eliseo and Giosuè are taken away forcibly to a concentration camp. Dora demands to be on the same train to join her family and is permitted to do so. Later, Guido convinces his son that the camp is a game where the first person to win 1,000 points wins a tank. If Giosuè cries or complains, he will lose points. This way, Guido ensures that his son is not affected by what is happening around him. Guido maintains this story right till his death. Giosuè manages to survive, reunite with his mother, and even thinks he has won the game when an American tank arrives to liberate the camp. The movie is narrated by an older Giosuè, who remembers his father's sacrifice. The underlying pathos has been portrayed fabulously through the father-son relationship.

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your ideas Sriram Naganathan and wife Hamsa share their experience in dealing with their daughter Apoorva:

EVERY TRICK IN THE BOOK Every parent has his or her own parenting style, and each child has his or her own unique personality. Often, we have to explore different ways of handling challenges with our children – what works in one situation with one child may not work in the same situation with another child. Similarly, what works at one time with your child may not work the next time. We hope these ideas will inspire you to devise creative strategies in resolving issues with your own children.

Issue: We spotted a particular problem with Apoorva, now 11, about two years ago: she was not willing to read a book unless the book had lots and lots of pictures and colours in every page and worse, unless she could understand every word! While pictures and colours in books offered the much needed visual breaks when she was younger, we thought it was time for her to read simple story books, even if they didn’t have pictures. But she stood her ground. If we gave her a story book, she would come back in a few minutes with the retort, “I told you that this is too difficult for me. I don’t understand these words. How can I read pages after pages with many such unknown words?” Result of this attitude was that almost all the books that she got as gifts on many occasions, from us as well as others, were lying untouched. How we solved this: We had to work through the options we had. Apoorva was a decent listener. We used to read many stories from books for her, around bed time. These ranged from Panchatantra to Shakespeare for Children. As we read, she would be watching, listening and seeking meaning for every word that she didn’t follow. One Sunday afternoon, Hamsa took up a very interesting book (without visuals) and started reading for Apoorva. At a point when there was a twist in the story plot, Hamsa kept the book down - with a book mark on the page - and rushed to the kitchen as if she had kept something on the fire and had forgotten about it. In fact, there was no work in the kitchen. She returned after sometime and found Apoorva trying to read the book by herself. Hamsa began reading the book again. After some time, she went back to the kitchen and returned after a few minutes to read for Apoorva again. Increasingly, Hamsa’s returns from the kitchen became fewer. A dictionary was kept next to Apoorva, in case she wanted to know the meaning of some unknown word in the book. Initially, Apoorva began reading, sometimes trying to refer to the dictionary. After an hour or so, the dictionary was dispensed with. She had learnt to decipher the contextual meaning for unknown words in the book. By late evening, Hamsa was not required at all. Apoorva was totally immersed in reading the book. An impasse was finally broken! Beginning the next day, all the books that she got as gifts were polished off in a week’s time. Cut to the present. Apoorva reads anything and everything - pictures or no pictures - and has learnt to figure out the meanings. Often, she goes through an entire book that we think is beyond her understanding. On completing it, she would claim that she didn’t get a few things right! For us, that is a good problem to have! n We would like you to share with us ideas that have worked for you and your family so that other families can benefit from your experience. You can either write to us at 8/14, Sri Renga Vihar, 3rd floor, First Cross Street, Karpagam Gardens, Adyar, Chennai 600 020 or email us at editorial@parentcircle.in. Alternatively, you can call us at 044 24461066/67/68 and share your experience with any member of our editorial team.

56 Parent Circle / July 2012

viewpoint

Little ways to cut your

carbon footprint BY SHLOKA NARAYANAN

anish, a twenty-year-old college student, jumps up to the sound of his alarm clock on his Android phone. He picks it up, snoozes it and wakes up only at 8.45 am. As he jumps out of bed, his 32 GB iPod falls to the ground. â&#x20AC;&#x2DC;Oh, God!â&#x20AC;&#x2122;, he exclaims as he hastily picks up his iPod and throws it on his bed. He rushes to the bathroom, turns on the water

58 Parent Circle / July 2012

heater and brushes his teeth with his battery-operated toothbrush and a new flavoured gel toothpaste that he saw advertised on TV last week. After a warm bath, he comes out to his room and realizes that his room is really cold. He then switches off the airconditioner that has been running since last evening. He puts on a t-shirt and

jeans, sprays on his musk deodorant, grabs his phone and college bag, and runs out of the room. He realizes that his desktop computer has been turned on since last night when he had started to download a new movie. He has no time now to turn it off as he is getting late. He greets his mum who is busy cooking in the kitchen. She brings him a glass of milk and steaming idlis. Rahul

gulps down the milk and leaves the idlis untouched. He says a quick goodbye and climbs into his Honda City and speeds off to college. I can vouch for the fact that today most teenagers live a life quite similar to Manish’s, owing to the fact that I belong to the fraternity myself. A little bit of googling and a lot of introspection made me think about my ‘carbon footprint’. I came across this site http://www.footprintnetwork.org/ en/index.php/GFN/page/calculators/ which allows every individual to calculate his carbon footprint. This is basically how much energy and resources you are using up, and whether you are threatening to kill the planet. I took the test, and it tells me that if I continued at this rate, I would harm the environment enough to require a new planet for myself! That maybe a slight exaggeration, but I felt that I could be a little more sensitive towards the environment without drastically altering my lifestyle. Some research, and a few workshops later, I reached the conclusion that I had to make a few changes. Of all the talks I had with people, the one that stands out most in my memory is the discussion that I had with a member of the People’s Union for Civil Liberties (PUCL) Chennai chapter, Mr. Ananthu, as he neither preached nor gave advice. All that he said was ‘be aware of what you eat, what you use and how they affect the environment’. It is simple: when you buy a product, we check its manufacturing or expiry date. But we rarely check the ingredients. For example, most shampoos and soaps contain the chemical sodium lauryl sulfate (SLS) which is carcinogenic, most toothpastes have very high sugar content, deodorants contain aerosols which deplete the ozone layer and

harm the skin, and washing soaps clog drains and do not degrade easily. In short, almost all ‘washing and cleaning’ agents, including toothpastes, contain surfactants (like SLES or SLS) and other harmful chemicals that contribute to carbon emissions during their manufacture. So, using a herbal hairwash powder or a shampoo that has no SLS will keep your hair and you healthier. Substitute ayurvedic tooth powders for toothpastes. If you are inclined, you can make your own washing soap at home for use in a washing machine, which is far more eco-friendly than the readymade detergents (recipes are available on the Net). And always remember, if you are eating something that your grandmother or mother cannot make at home, then you are inviting trouble. Each time you buy and eat fast food, plastic packets are being used without being recycled. Similarly, there is an indiscriminate use of electronic products: each member of the family has his own laptop, music player, mobile phone and sometimes, even a separate TV set. True, it has become a necessity today to possess these gadgets, but there is a way of using them effectively. Turn off appliances when they are not in use. If you are downloading a movie, do it when you are awake and can switch off the computer and the Internet once it is done. This will not only save power, but will also make your appliances work efficiently. Mobile phones take up much more battery power when they are in vibration mode than when the ringtone is on. Keep brightness to a minimum, and switch off your Bluetooth at times when you are not sharing files. After charging the phone, switch off the charger. Over-charging means a

wastage of electricity and it also impairs the life of appliances be it iPods, mobile phones or laptops. You can also reduce your carbon footprint by using public transport. I do not deny that our country’s transport system is not the best. Yet, bus services are decent and cheap, especially in comparison to the soaring fuel prices. Travelling by the suburban railway or using buses has a charm of its own. It saves you from road rage and is also an interesting way to meet various people. Right from the flower seller who strings her flowers on the train to the schoolboy who jumps off from a moving bus, the public transport exposes you to a plethora of people whom you can observe while reducing your carbon footprint. It would be unfair to demand that each teenager be perfect and environmentally conscious all the time. A few indulgences ought to be allowed. But a few changes here and there can go a long way in saving the environment and your money. You will also be opting for a healthy lifestyle. Do not accept anything at face value: an advertisement on TV is not made with the intention of informing you about the truth of any product. The sole purpose of an advertisement is to sell you the product. Be aware of what you buy and do your bit to reduce your carbon footprint! n SHLOKA NARAYANAN IS A FIRST YEAR LAW STUDENT.

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discussion point

How responsive are schools to parents?

In general, schools are more receptive to parents who are well-connected or wellto-do. Their complaints are taken far more seriously than complaints from the less well-to-do parents. Well-connected parents can use their power and wealth to damage the school’s reputation by writing or talking about it in public. On a personal note, my son who was in Class 1 got hit for not reciting a nursery rhyme and I complained to the principal. But no action was taken and so I changed the school.

My daughter is in LKG and my area of concern is the attitude of the helpers or the aayahs. My child and I feel that they are very rude. I have not yet complained about this to the school as I really do not know if this issue will even be considered by her school. Priya Arun, mother of a 5-year-old

My daughter is in Class 3. She would bring her lunch home intact, every day. I complained to her class teacher and from then on, she ensures that my daughter does not skip her lunch anymore. So, I think that some schools do listen to parents’ complaints and take action. Valli S, mother of two children

A few schools, though, do take complaints of parents seriously, regardless of network or networth. However, we still have a long way to go before schools can put together a system of receiving and handling complaints from parents in an organized manner so as to reassure parents that their children are in a safe environment and that their complaints are being taken seriously and worked upon. Dr Mini Rao, mother of a 10-year-old boy

How to tackle sibling rivalry? Please send in your responses before August 15, 2012 to editorial@parentcircle.in with the subject line ‘Discussion Point’, or send them to PARENT CIRCLE, 3rd Floor, Shri Renga Vihar, 8/14 First Cross St, Karpagam Gardens, Adyar, Chennai 600020, India.

60 Parent Circle / July 2012

As a person who runs an institute, I try to ensure that all the complaints and suggestions are looked into. There are some things a parent will notice, that we may routinely miss. So, taking suggestions from them is not a bad idea. We cannot followup on all the suggestions. But we justify to them the reasons when some suggestions are not pursued. Even then, while some parents understand this and cooperate with us, there are others who don't. Big schools, on the other hand, are used to doing things in a particular way, and they take a long time to change rules. As parents, we have repeatedly suggested bringing about certain changes in my children's school, but to no avail. Sujata Vijay, mother of two children

It depends on what the complaint is all about. For example, some parents will want the school to give their children less homework, while others want more homework for their children. In such cases, it is very difficult for the school management to take a stand. In my case, it was not a complaint but a suggestion. My son is not a very social person, though I want him to be one. I expressed my concern to the school. They did not do anything about it. I understand that it is not easy to give personal attention when there are hundreds of children. But I still feel that his school ought to help him. R V Ramanan, father of a 12-year-old

I think most mainstream schools are extremely insensitive to the needs of students and parents. Their goal is to achieve great results in the Board exams. They do not care about the holistic development and emotional needs of the child. Parents are cowed down by autocratic heads of schools, and are terrified to approach them on any issue concerning their child. Schools have become mass producers of high-scoring sheep. What response can one expect from them on what really matters? Reshma Mathur, mother of a 13-year-old