June Full Issue

editorial

For the Parent in you To know, to understand, to connect f nothing ever changed, there’d be no butterflies.’ ~Author Unknown Children, from the time they are born, undergo continuous change – from starting to roll over and smile, to learning to walk and talk, to starting preschool, all the way into college and adulthood. Every change or transition brings with it new opportunities for growth, along with its own challenges.

This time of the year, in particular, is a time of transition for all our children. Some of them are moving from playschool to preschool, some from one class to the next and some to a new school. Others are starting college or going away to hostel for the first time. It is a time of great anxiety for both the parent and the child. Our cover story ‘In Transit: The Journey from Childhood to Adulthood’ gives you tips on how we, as parents, can help smoothen this transition and minimize stress and anxiety.

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With Standard XII results just out, many children are deciding on which college to join and what courses to enrol in. We are introducing a new section on careers. This month we are featuring ‘The Nuts and Bolts of Engineering’ that will serve as a guide for those children considering joining an engineering course.

Today, the label ‘ADHD’ is given to almost any child who appears hyperactive or inattentive in class. Some of these children may just be very energetic or highly intelligent and hence, bored in class. But, sometimes, there is a genuine underlying problem and the child needs additional support and help. Our special story ‘Helping Children Cope with ADHD’ delves deeper into this subject and talks about how to diagnose and support children with ADHD. This month we are also introducing a new column called ‘Your Ideas’. Here, parents like you talk about how they handled a particular issue with their child. We believe that such contributions from parents like you will benefit other families who are constantly looking for alternative ways to deal with their own children.

In celebration of Father’s Day on June 17, 2012, we bring you an exclusive interview with cinematographer and director Rajiv Menon. We also take this opportunity to remind everyone of the important role a father plays in the upbringing of his children and we wish all fathers a ‘Happy Father’s Day’.

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contents

RESOURCES 48

PARENT CHEF Make & Store Desi Snacks

50

CHECK IT OUT Good reads for all ages

56

KALEIDOSCOPE

FORUM 6

COVER STORY

20

In Transit

THE JOURNEY FROM CHILDHOOD TO ADULTHOOD

LEARNING Your Child, the Storyteller

12

LEARNING Everyday Experiments!

14

MINDSET Bully-proof your Child

26

INTERVIEW Rajiv Menon

28

CENTRESPREAD Father’s Day Special

30

CAREERS The Nuts and Bolts of Engineering

40

NUTRITION Making Sense of Food Labels

42

CIRCLE OF LIFE Going Green begins

44

at Home

TEEN CIRCLE Mirror, Mirror, on the Wall

ON THE COVER PRIYANKA RAYMUND PHOTOGRAPH BY ARJUN DOGRA LOCATION COURTESY VELS GROUP

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Parent Circle / June 2012

52

PARENT EXPRESS Monday Mornings

54

YOUR IDEAS Win-Win

55

DISCUSSION POINT Dress Code for

SPECIAL

REGULARS 8

YOUR WORD

School Children

34

Helping Children Cope wth ADHD

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your word

ear p. H

ts! r e p x he E

t

to

Letters to the Editor

e. S t u n i

A-M

Just

I have been subscribing to your magazine for the past one year. It is clear that parenting issues are taken seriously by your magazine. I attempted the quiz ‘What’s your parenting style?’ in the May issue and was delighted to find out that my parenting style was authoritative, which is the gold standard of parenting! The 108 ideas were very useful, especially as my children are having their vacation. I hope to remain a subscriber of your magazine in the years to come.

SUDHA S, mother of two children, Chennai I picked up Parent Circle from Eagle Book Store in Tuticorin.

I was amazed by the content and presentation of the various topics relevant to child-rearing. I have subscribed for two years and I am recommending it to everyone. I would like to record my heartfelt appreciation for the wonderful work put together by the editor, publisher and the team of experts. Please keep up the good work. You are doing a great service not only to the parenting community but to the entire society. 108 ideas was in itself a great idea and made each page reveal something new.

D SENTHIL KANNAN, Tuticorin

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Any reason why you chose 108 ideas and not 100? I found some ideas that were also interesting for adults! I made a list of the ideas I really liked and intend to share it with more children. Congratulations for the excellent issue!

MS JAYARAMAN, Chennai

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I found the May issue on 108 ideas awesome. I am enjoying a month off from teaching at school. It’s vacation time for my daughter, too. I was happy with these hands-on activities for us to do. The best part about the ideas was that one need not invest too much in assembling the materials. Though I found only a few activities for my four-year-old daughter, I intend to keep this collector’s item as I can pull out suitable activities for her age group as she grows up.

SARBANI CHAKRABORTY, mother of a four-year-old daughter, Kolkata

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Parent Circle / June 2012

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learning 18 months to 3 years Often, their stories are simple disjointed words that are connected to their immediate experiences. Listen to them making connections between an evening in the park and playing on the swing. With your guidance, your child can fill her picture book with squiggles. As you make sense of her disjointed words, write them out in simple, short sentences against the picture and read them aloud to her.

Your child, the storyteller

BY SRIVI KALYAN

M

aking a storybook with children is an exciting and exhilarating process for both the parent and the child. Children as young as 18 months are ready to tell their stories. Are we ready to hear them? Even your little threemonth-old baby is ready to listen to stories and watch picture books. While it may seem to you that your baby cannot speak or even stay still long enough to listen to the book, remember that his brain is growing and he is constantly learning. The more books the children see and the more stories they hear, the more ready they are to speak and share their own stories with you.

Let us look at how we can listen to our children’s stories, as young as they may be, even as we help them create their own storybooks.

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Parent Circle / June 2012

Encourage her to start scribbling as soon as she can hold a crayon or a chalk. If your little one tends to eat everything around her, don’t fret. Stay around her when she is colouring, and put back the colours safely - till she learns that colours are not meant for eating. On the other hand, you can also give her, as substitutes, vegetables, fruits and other ingredients that tend to stain (turmeric, beetroot or purple grapes). With encouragement, the child will let you peek into her amazing imaginative world and share her imaginary friends with you.

My own two-year-old niece tells us riveting tales of four tigers, who are her imaginary friends. We have even witnessed events where her tigers are put to multiple tasks of cleaning up the room after her. Upon questioning, we discovered that while listening to Jungle Book, she liked Bagheera, (Mowgli’s friend) who has now become her friend called ‘Puli’. Of late, the tigers and their antics have multiplied. We just need to open up to them.

3-5 years With the preschoolers, storybook making opens us to the amazing creative and imaginary worlds they live in. While working with children of this age, we got to know about an ocean that had to be pasted together all the time, because it kept breaking; an interesting paatima who could hang jalebis in a magic sky for everyone to eat; a cow that was naughty enough to keep scribbling; and many such interesting stories. You can expect stories at a rapid rate, fact and

fantasy mingling with each other. In our workshops that span 12 two-hour classes, we see each child come up with eight to 10 stories. Each child finally makes books with collections of simple, imaginative and expressive stories.

Watch them construct characters, explore identities, and listen to stories that leave behind an impression.

Often, their stories are inspired by the books they read and the characters they love. It is important to tell the children to be original and explain to them what ‘original’ means. In the end, they create beautiful stories filled with compassion, revealing the innocence and beauty of their inner selves.

6-9 years

THE APPROACH As parents, you can nurture in children the skill to tell stories, help them visualize results through images and extend the narrative into the form of a book. This can be done with children of any age. When children realize that you are there for them, ever willing to listen to them, that you respect and value their thoughts, their innate ability to tell stories will flower.

Pre-teens are on the brink of self-identity and selfdiscovery. They need to express their thoughts and ideas, and with conviction. These children are often shy and unsure of themselves. More than the technicalities of making a book, for you as a parent, the true journey lies in guiding them to look deep within.

Creating an illustrated storybook is a difficult, complex and demanding activity. Several cognitive, creative and artistic processes work together to create a storybook. While children enjoy doing this arduous task in a playful manner, each child’s ability, his involvement and his simplest attempts need to be appreciated. Here are a few guidelines to get you started:

Book-making becomes a powerful form of selfexpression. For some children, a rare strength and passion can be lit through this route. Parents can provide guidance when asked. They can read the book to get an insight into their child’s mind. 8

UNDERSTAND THE RATIONALE: Talk to them and ask them about why they think this could be an interesting exercise. Get to know the ideas they would like to explore through a storybook.

10-14 years

15 & above

PROJECT-BASED LEARNING: Introduce children to the idea of projectbased learning. Show them different picture books in libraries, shops or from their own collection and share with them the excitement of making one for themselves, where they would be the author and the illustrator.

LISTEN: Create a space where both of you can listen to each other with respect and comfort. The more you listen to their ideas, the richer their story becomes.

QUESTION: Keep asking them questions about the story and lead them in new directions by suggesting alternative possibilities. But always give them the freedom to decide which way they want to go.

RELAXATION, FUN, AND EXPLORATION: Let them take time over the book. They can spend about an hour each day for a couple of weeks, but make sure that there is a lot of fun and exploration through the process.

DEMOCRATIC INTERACTION: Always keep the space between you and the child democratic and free.

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9

learning

THE PROCESSES

DAY 3-4

DAY 1-2

Constructing a story le and Constructing a story that has a beginning, midd can be a this – tion) resolu and end (introduction, conflict en in happ can It es. continuing process as the book evolv en. parallel with the illustrations, for some childr

What is a story?

Introduce the idea of a story through storyt elling, by reading books alo ud, and discussing th e various elements that make up a story.

Explore making storie s together; stories th at are silly, fun, enjoyable and which trigger lots of laughter. Try out different endings for each of the storie s you make together.

Ask your child to ref lect on possible them es for her stories.

It is important to bu ild excitement, fun and laughter into the activity. Ch ildren should not be brought into the activity of storyt elling with the thou gh t that this is another task meant to ‘improve’ them.

Approach it instead with the spirit of, “W ow! It is another magical da y and we are going to enjoy it together.”

10 Parent Circle / June 2012

also change as Discuss possible titles for the story. This can the book evolves. as a scribe and Tell them to write out a draft of the story. Act en. write down the story for younger childr one or two lines Split the story into 8-12 pages, keeping just is often not story s child’ for each page. Till the age of six, the more than three to four pages long. swingA two-year-old may just say – Park go, Akka play swing, me play, happy, zoooooooing. the child’s As a parent, you will delight in these words, and her. This toget s ience attempt at connecting so many exper child’s your simple observation of events and emotions are to draw some story. Put each word into a page and ask him s of a day at graph photo take squiggles for you. Or, you could in use to s want the park and ask him which images he the storybook. story could For a 3- to 6-year-old, often the outline of the want not do well be the complete story. Usually, children . Do not push many details, though there will be exceptions with anybody your child to do better and never compare him e to him choic the leave else. Converse with your child, and page or third the whether he wants to complete the story at move on to yet another page. details as For a 6- to 9-year-old, ask him to add as many which he he can. Talk to him about the various ways in ions he can expand the story. Make it relate to the emot ectives. persp ent differ experiences and to look at it from child will feel For a 10- to 14-year-old, remember that the wonder a little awkward and unsure about his work and support, love for you to whether it is good. Such children look ing can be -mak and encouragement on a constant basis. Book help them realize highly demanding, but in the end, if you can experience. their unique individuality, it will be a rewarding

DAY 5-6

DAY 7-9

Sketching Discuss ‘picture and composition’ ideas for each page, keeping in mind the flow of the story.

Ask your child to sketch some initial ideas on rough sheets of paper.

Remember that your child is not a professional; her art work will be simple. She is already agonizing over the fact that she is not able to create what lies in her imagination and tends to get frustrated with her repeated attempts. Keep appreciating her efforts.

Bring in reference materials with different rendering styles and different ways in which objects can be placed in space. Think about your own favourite illustrations, paintings and drawings, but do not limit your child to your idea of good work. ‘Realistic’ rendering is only one way of looking at the world. There are many ways to interpret imagination and inner realities. Have an open mind and you will draw out the real talent in your child.

DAY 10-1 1

Editing and transferring script into the storybook

Sit with him and edit the story draft.

For the younger ones, you can write out the relevant portion of the story adjacent to the illustration.

While grammar is important, do not make this the core focus. Talk to your child more about the ideas, expression, emotional richness and the style of work. It is very easy for your child to lose interest in writing, if he is criticized. He needs to be steered with care, and be praised for the work already accomplished.

DAY 12-13

Binding the book

You can use a punching l machine and tie a colourfu thread, making a simple bound book.

You could also take the book to a binder’s shop and explore possibilities with your child for spiral binding or other forms of binding.

Make sure you celebrate with your child once the book is complete. Have a me book release event at ho and invite her friends.

Working on final illustrations

paper, preferably Have about 20 sheets of ets of a chart paper chart paper. Quarter she r the little ones to colou can be a good size for with crayons or pastels. ir sketches into the Ask them to transfer the final paper. work with is a fun and Choosing the media to k-making. If your fivecritical part of storyboo do not worry about him year-old wants paints, l illustrations. This is an messing up his beautifu and the process of essential step to learning self-discovery.

ARTISTIC AND COGNITIVE BENEFITS Artistic and cognitive processes are involved when children engage in storybook-making. Often, we are led to believe that cognitive processes belong to the realm of the sciences and Math, while artistic processes belong to arts.

Unfortunately, we also tend to believe that one is better than the other, or one is more important than the other. To read more about the interdependence of these processes and the richness that the arts can contribute to other realms, look forward to the second article in this series. n SRIVI KALYAN IS A DIRECTOR AT FOONIFERSE ARTS AND HAS CONDUCTED BOOK-MAKING WORKSHOPS FOR MORE THAN 400 CHILDREN.

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learning

Everyday Experiments!

The following experiments are from the book The Agenda of the Apprentice Scientist by Nicole Ostrowsky, published by Universities Press. Over the next few months, we will be carrying experiments from this book. These experiments are intended to inculcate in children a sense of curiosity and a love of science, helped by lively characters: ‘labcoat’, depicting the scientist and ‘little net’, the apprentice. Encourage your children to do these experiments on their own, observe the results and discover for themselves. An explanation has been provided for parents to guide their children through this process of exploration and discovery. Further information is available at http://apprenticescientist.com.

First guitar lesson

The precursor to the telephone

Tie one end of a string to a table leg and hold the other end in your hand. Pluck the string as if it were a guitar string and listen carefully. Vary the length and the tension of the string and use different types of strings or threads, elastics, rubber bands, etc. Jot down your observations. _______________ _____________________________________________________ _____________________________________________________ ___________________

Pierce the bottom of a plastic cup and push one end of a long piece of string through it towards the inside. Tie a double knot so that it stays in place. Do the same thing with another cup at the other end of the string. Give one of the cups to a friend, take the other and step back till the string is completely stretched. Your telephone is ready, but only one person can speak while the other listens. You will have to take turns! DOES IT WORK?

“To master guitar playing, you need ten years per string.”

Spanish saying

The pitch (high or low) of the sound will depend on the vibration frequency of the string. To reach higher notes, you can either increase the tension in the string, or decrease its length or thickness.

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Pascal The sound wave from your mouth is channelled through the first cup, making the string to which it is attached vibrate. The wave travels along the string and makes the second cup vibrate when it reaches the other end. This vibration sends a sound wave into the air towards your friend’s ear.

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mindset

I

t may happen that your child is a victim of bullying. Not once or twice, but perennially. You are unsure how to handle this, beyond making a token complaint to the class teacher. On the other hand, you may find other parents avoiding you in common forums (like the Open day/PTA meets in school) and whispering behind your back that your child is a bully. How will you react?

Parents should understand what constitutes bullying, and the factors underlying it, to mitigate its effects on their children. Often, it calls for an honest introspection within – they may have driven the child to these circumstances.

BULLYPROOF YOUR CHILD

BY ARUNDHATI SWAMY

THE BULLY AND THE BULLIED

or coercive. The bullying child has a low self-esteem and wants to feel powerful.

He seeks children who are vulnerable and the least likely to retaliate or stand up for themselves. The school bully usually indulges in the following behaviours:

Bullying among children is a learnt or chosen abusive behaviour that is absorbed from adults who validate and reinforce it, or is chosen as a means to cope with emotional distress. It is an intentional, planned, aggressive form of behaviour – verbal, physical, emotional

w Verbal harassment, beating, hairpulling and kicking w Spreading rumours online or in person w Teasing and calling names w Damaging possessions like books or

14 Parent Circle / June 2012

spectacles of the victim w Intimidation or frightening the victim w Excluding the victim during playtime or from social events and networks Of the ones that get bullied, there are two types of victims: a) Often, it is the victim who initiates a bullying situation – it is quite common to see children irk their peers with ‘irritating’ behaviour – attention seeking, pretensions, disruptions, or bad language. Peers then pick on a vulnerable spot, usually something that is different about the child, to get even with the child and isolate him. b) It is ironical that the child who allows himself to get victimised by the bully repeatedly also has a low self-esteem like the bully and lacks self-confidence.

Such a child lives up to his own image (and the bully’s image) of being weak.

If the victim learns to build confidence, he can walk away or manage the bully without getting intimidated.

Likewise, the bully too can be brought around to understand, through counselling and adequate parenting, the negative impact of bullying on the self and the environment.

Bullies don’t just happen. They are created, either through misguided adult role models or by a crisis in one or more of the psychosocial stages of development, leading to selfworth and self-esteem issues. Adults, who use bullying either to discipline children or to get their way, create an easy template for the child to adopt.

Faulty handling patterns that cause shame and doubt in the toddler stage, guilt during the preschool stage, inferiority in the school stage and identity and role confusion in adolescence can contribute to the making of a bully or to the making of his victim.

Bhima (nicknamed thus for his size) came to me for tutoring when he was 12 years old. He had failed twice in Class 5. In school, he terrified other children with his words, actions and might. I would often see other children’s books in his bag, and once actually caught him tearing them apart. Whenever I questioned him about the unwarranted appearance of these books, he defended his stance by saying that the owner of the book had teased him and beaten him!

He tried playing tricks with me too, by hiding the electricity card and pretending to find it under some tree after a fresh card was made.

CASEY STUD

I discovered many underlying factors that made him a bully and it went deeper than his slow-learning trait.

I found that his mother pampered

For the bully, bullying becomes a means of survival through a misguided sense of adequacy, competence and direction.

The bully’s victim may suffer from loneliness, depression, anxiety, be prone to illnesses or contemplate suicide.

Common symptoms to watch out for include: a reluctance to attend school, poor academic performance, withdrawal and isolation, and aggression towards siblings.

To prevent bullying, parents and care-givers need to correct or modify faulty child-rearing practices. At the curative level, the bully and the victim need professional help to deal with their trauma.8

TIPS TO HANDLE BULLIES

The targeted child should be taught to speak calmly but firmly to the bully at all times, and deflect his attention. He can fake the confide nce initially by role playing, till he gets the confide nce.

The child can say “I don’t have poc ket money to give you today for your lunch. If you really want the money, you will have to come home and ask my dad.”

“I don’t have to give my book to you . If you need help with your homework, I can express your need to the teacher.”

“You can beat me, but there is a poli cy that violent students will be suspended from school.”

Depending on the situation, the targ eted victim can also pretend to be very busy whe n the bully is around, texting furiously and walk away conveying a mixed feeling of disin terest and abstraction at the bully’s approach.

him. She gave him much more food and snacks than he needed.

I instructed her to indulge him less and feed him less.

Bhima’s father’s brother was a no-good goon. This uncle was living with Bhima’s paternal grandparents – a place where Bhima’s mother was not allowed entry. Bhima visited his grandparents on weekends unaccompanied by his parents and came under the influence of his notorious uncle. I would spot a change in him every Monday – he would be disturbed and aggressive and I would have to calm him down during the week, only to see an action replay the following week.

I scolded the father for his utter neglect of the boy. I told him in strong terms that his son would become a hooligan and that the boy

should stop visiting his grandparents.

Fortunately, the father listened to me.

Deep in his heart, he was concerned about his son, but was just an inadequate parent!

Each time I called Bhima, I addressed him as ‘child’. I brought back to him some of his lost childhood and made him forget (while he was with me) that he had to act powerful. Before starting his lessons each day, I would counsel him for an hour, explaining why things happened to him the way they did at school. I gave him positive guidance on how he needed to act so that he could witness the benefits.

After eight months, he had turned over a new leaf, and also did well in his exams. His father thanked me for ‘giving’ his son back to him. (by Srithi Kannan, special educator and parent-teacher counsellor)

www.parentcircle.in 15

mindset THE ROLE OF THE SCHOOL The school should establish a visible anti-bullying policy and create a secure atmosphere. It should work towards creating emotionally healthy and safe environments, while encouraging respect and empathy for others.

Normally unsupervised areas such as corridors, the play field and canteen should be monitored. The parentteacher association (PTA) can play a positive role in eliminating bullying and by holding/attending workshops on the subject.

Teacher support: Teacher empathy and emotional support should be available for the bullied. There should be constant monitoring, especially of potentially aggressive students and of withdrawn/frequently absent students. The teacher should teach children to be cyber-smart and how to stay safe because social networking sites and other technology-driven communications are becoming a haven for bullies to unleash their hostility.

Peer support: Teachers can choose children from within the peer group, based on their confidence and popularity, to offer peer support. These children can be taught by counsellors to handle the bully and the victim in a sensible and sensitive manner.

Bully and the victim: They need to be taught interpersonal, coping and problem-solving skills by school counsellors.

Family situations: Parents can also be counselled, along with their children, in school.

AS PARENTS, YOU CAN: • Be a good role model. Adults must show respect to all individuals, irrespective of age, gender, and other differences.

16 Parent Circle / June 2012

PARENT ACTION Parents can adopt positive child-rearing methods in order to build self-worth in their children.

DON’T

DO

Make a child feel ashamed by pushing him to achieve milestones. In a child, normal development occurs within wide ranges, and your child has his own pace.

Encourage self-sufficiency in the child. Consult a specialist in case of undue development delays.

Make him adopt a ‘failure’ mindset, whenever he tends to trip. Failure is the path that leads to confidence.

Encourage him to learn from failure, and move on without wallowing in self-pity.

Make him feel guilty about exploration and discovery, adventure and play.

Encourage initiative. These activities bring about self-discovery.

Make him dependent on your thinking, decisions and problemsolving skills. He needs to grow into a confident adult.

Include him in family decisions that impact him. Involve him in problemsolving exercises as he grows.

Isolate him from relationship-building.

He has to interact with the world around him.

Help him build healthy relationships with family members and outsiders.

Counsel him about teenage attractions.

• Emphasize that bullying is unacceptable and will have consequences. Make the point clear and play-act situations to resolve bullying and victimisation.

• Provide a warm and secure family atmosphere. It will build trust and respect in the child.

• Apologise sincerely when you make a mistake.

• Identify and address the underlying causes. Bullying and other behaviour problems are symptoms of deeper causes.

• Avoid aggression or indulgence. The pampered child expects indulgence in all relationships and can demand it by using manipulative bullying tactics.

• Be sensitive to unusual changes in

a child’s behaviour. Help the child to express his fears and worries. Take these seriously.

• Help the child to see which of his own behaviours are provoking aggressive responses from others.

• Empathize with the bully – bullies, too, need help. Isolation and rejection make them feel abandoned.

• Give children opportunities to experience the good in themselves (selfbelief) and in others.

• Be alert to changes in your child’s behaviour and inform and work with the necessary authorities if your child is a victim of bullying. n ARUNDHATI SWAMY IS A FAMILY AND STUDENT COUNSELLOR FROM CHENNAI.

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cover story

in transit

THE JOURNEY FROM CHILDHOOD TO ADULTHOOD

BY SHASHWATHI SANDEEP

The only constant is change, continuing change, inevitable change that is the dominant factor in society today. ISAAC ASIMOV

T

he uniforms were always a bore and so was the Math teacher. But love it or hate it, memories of school life and college life linger on forever. This is the place where you create your best and worst memories, your most embarrassing as well as your most cherished moments. But the first few days of school or college are never easy on the children. They enter a new environment with new faces and a new routine.

PLAYSCHOOL TO PRIMARY The first transition in a student’s life happens as she moves from a playschool to a primary school. The environment changes when tiny-tots enter this phase of life. They seem to be completely lost.

Homework and timetable suddenly become a part of their lives and they find this hard to grasp.

“At this stage, children are on an emotional rollercoaster. They need time to adjust to the structure. They are not used to seeing so many teachers and books. Parents need to tell their children that they are going to get new books and see new people and children. Anything ‘new’ attracts the child and he looks forward to the change,” explains Chennai-based psychologist Mohana Narayanan.

Some playschools are proactive and start talking to the little ones about the next big step a few months earlier.

“We talk to our children about them having to go to a new school.

We tell them that it will be a big one and that they will have a new aunty (teacher), and will also have many friends. Besides preparing them mentally to smoothly handle the changes, we also equip them with the necessary skills to handle the new lesson plans in their new

20 Parent Circle / June 2012

environment through our curriculum and methodology,” says Krithika Srinivasan, who runs the Eurokids franchise at T Nagar in Chennai.

Parents, too, should talk to their children about this transition.

“Parents should talk to a child in advance about the transition. We tell them to keep the child informed about the changes that she will experience and at the same time, not to put the child under stress because of the transition. The child has to be given time and space to grow through the change. We also ask them to take the child to the new school a few times.

Even if they do not go inside, at least the outside of the school should be shown. Parents need to tell the child that this will be her new school,” says Krithika.

Some parents have humorous ways of explaining the transition to their child.

Gayathri Pannicker

“We told our daughter a month earlier that since she had been so good at her playschool, she was being rewarded with a bigger school, a huge campus and many more children in her class.

She thinks of it as a reward that she has merited. She was not in the least bit nervous on her first day at school.

In fact, she consoled the other children who were crying,” says Gayathri Pannicker, whose daughter is attending primary school.

YEARLY TRANSITION Every year, the child experiences transition in terms of a new classroom, new teachers and above all, new

classmates. For a shy child, it becomes hard to handle transition at every stage of school life.

"It depends on the child’s personality.

A shy child will take time to make new friends and familiarize himself with the new teachers. By the time he does that, he is promoted to the next stage where he finds new faces all over again. Often, when such a situation arises, the parent approaches the school management and manages to get her child shifted to the same class his best friend is in.

What the parent does not realize is that the child's social skills will not improve if they do this. The child has to learn to adapt to changes and all the decisions should be taken by the child alone.

Parents should just offer support to the child," says Sangeetha Makesh, a psychologist from Chennai.

SYLLABUS CHANGE Transition also happens when a child switches from one syllabus to another.

Not only does the school change but the curriculum also changes.

“I was in the fourth standard when we had to move to another city. I was studying the ICSE syllabus and suddenly found myself studying CBSE. It was very difficult for me to understand the portions, especially Math, as the level was much higher than what I had

been studying. It took me a year to get adjusted to the school, the teachers and the syllabus,” says Tamara Charles, studying in Class 8.

Mohana feels that changing the syllabus should be avoided if possible. “It is not very easy to grasp another syllabus.

The parents need to provide that extra support to their child. If they need tuitions, put them in one. If they need any other kind of help, provide it,” she says.

HOME AWAY FROM HOME Another important transition in any student’s life is from home to hostel life.

It might be at the school stage or even at the college level. What parents may not know, or be unwilling to gauge, is the child’s readiness for this transition.

Shruti Saxena, now in her second year of college, still cannot forget the nightmare called ‘hostel’.

“I was sent to hostel when I was in Class 9. I had visualized hostel to be this wonderful little place where we had unlimited freedom. My grandmother had told me tales about her hostel life which were amusing and I wanted to experience this. But the reality was different. I felt homesick and unwelcome from the first day and to make matters worse, the other girls in the dorm were unfriendly. I found it 8

www.parentcircle.in 21

cover story Parents should talk to a child in advance about the transition. He has to be given time and space to grow through the change.

very difficult to follow the schedule and waited for the day when I would return home. I survived for only three months in the hostel. It was nothing short of a bad dream,” she recollects.

This was because Shruti was not ready for hostel life. “Parents tend to indulge their children when the children are with them attending a day school.

Children lead their lives as per their whims and fancies. These children are not aware of other worlds beyond the house and school, where different rules are followed.

When they are suddenly sent to a hostel, they feel insecure and have to grope their way through. In a hostel, with sudden freedom, there is a possibility of getting into bad company and getting involved in inappropriate behaviours.

Before a child goes to a hostel, parents should prepare her adequately to think for herself.

They should teach the child to differentiate between right and wrong and this should start as early as seven years of age,” says Sangeetha.

Hostel life can also have a positive outcome.

“Everything was bitter in the beginning.

New place, new

22 Parent Circle / June 2012

people and I was away from home for the first time. Seniors also try to bully you. It took me sometime to adapt Priyadharshini to this new life. I did feel homesick but thankfully, I made a few friends and felt more comfortable.

I was an introvert but now I am much more outgoing and self-confident. You meet all kinds of people in a hostel, but it is up to you to be influenced by them for your own good or otherwise. Selfdiscipline plays an important role. I am glad that I did not get carried away and go astray,” says Priyadharshini PK, who is now studying management in Singapore.

COLLEGE LIFE Your child is standing at the threshold of a whole new world, not knowing what to expect. She has butterflies in her stomach as she sees strange faces around her and is quite lost. This is how you would have felt when you first stepped into college. Change is inevitable, yet it is not always easy to make those transitions in life. For adults, moving from one job to another is hard; for children, the transition from school to college is harder.

The student is nervous and anxious as she is set to start a new chapter in her life, wondering what the new experience holds for her. College life is very different from high school and if she consciously prepares for the transition and what it entails, her life will be easier.

“When they are fresh out of school, these children often feel out of place in college and are not able to handle the change. If a child has thoroughly enjoyed school, she will hate college.

This is a fact. Children are not ready at that stage for the freedom given to them,” says Mohana.

The student is nervous and anxious as she is set to start a new chapter in her life, wondering what the new experience holds for her.

Lakshmi Shekar with her daughters

Lakshmi Shekar, a mother of two daughters, was very apprehensive when they were entering college. “When my first daughter joined college, I was really worried about her getting ragged. I had no idea how she would manage it. I did not want her to get depressed,” she says.

Lakshmi had a chat with her daughters and prepared them for what lay ahead.

Despite this, both took considerable time to adjust.

“Both were depressed initially. The first one found it difficult to adjust to the

long commutes and the second one was not happy with the subject she had taken. I had long conversations with them, tried to cheer them up and gave them the space to deal with their problems. I did not nag them. I heard them out and actually learnt to remain silent,” she says.

I could meet him every month. It was a smooth transition. Later, when he left for the US to pursue higher studies, he was well prepared and we did not have to advise him. My husband and I visited him in the US and we met all his friends.

We are now rest assured that he can manage by himself,” she explains.

While transitions are hard on many, some take it in their stride. Sangita Gunaseelan is a mother of three sons and all three of them were quite well prepared for the challenges that lay ahead.

Her other two sons are also preparing to study abroad and Sangita is keen to allow them to pursue that opportunity.

“My first son joined the Karnataka State Tennis Association, Bangalore, where he was not only given tennis coaching, but was also taught other subjects. I was anxious in the beginning about sending him to Bangalore; but then the city is reasonably close to Chennai and

Ragini Srinivasan is the student counsellor at Bhavan’s Rajaji Vidyashram and has seen thousands of students passing out of the school.

“The children are very happy to leave school. They are excited about a whole new world where there are no restrictions. It is only after they enter college that they realize it is not 8

www.parentcircle.in 23

cover story just about having fun. The connection with the teacher is so different in colleges. In fact, they often visit us at school when they are in college. The friends they had in school may not be there with them in the same college.

It is a new social environment and a new circle of friends that they have to get adjusted to. I believe that schools should prepare them for college life and many schools do offer workshops and seminars on this subject. In our school, we have a general studies class for Classes 11 and 12 where, we discuss college life – the exposure to different kinds of people and how to protect onself from certain groups,”she says.

STARTING EARLY In most states, children enter college after Class 12. But in some states like Karnataka and Maharashtra, the children can choose to go to ‘junior’ college for Classes 11 and 12. This is a more fragile age for college entry.

Students are just 15 years old and are suddenly exposed to a world of responsibility.

“The transition was not easy. I don't mean it was bad - it was just tough and exciting at the same time. You have to find your own kind of friends, like the ones you were so used to having at school for a long time. Sometimes one is lucky to get a ‘school kind of atmosphere’ right after Class10, but with fewer students. It then becomes easier to make friends. For me, the experience was bittersweet. There was a lot of drama – the groupism, the crushes, and our immature reactions.

But then, the experience taught me a lot of what I know today about my own self; and I realize now how my afflictions then, were entirely self-imposed.

Getting used to the new way of teaching was tougher than getting used to the social life at college, as there was nobody to push you to do your work and study for the exams. I would say that it took both my junior college years to figure out a way to study by myself and handle the syllabus pressure,” says Anushya Badrinath, who studied in a junior college in Mumbai right after Class 10.

DES TO VIDESH For some students, transition is not just from school to college but also from one country to another. Cultural differences and the teaching methods vary vastly.

24 Parent Circle / June 2012

“Leaving home, being away from friends and being in a different country are what the students worry about, while their parents are more worried about safety issues for their children, the long distances separating their children from them and how much they would miss them.

Many things change when children go abroad to study, and this includes handling and managing their finances.

Students will need to be responsible for all their daily needs, keeping up with the class lessons and working on navigating the class registration processes. They will also have far more freedom. No one checks when they come in, or go to bed or study. The students need to be self-disciplined,” says Kendra Callaway, high school counsellor at the American International School in Chennai.

Shashwati Rao is currently doing her undergraduate studies in the US, away from home for the first time.

Shashwati Rao

“When I moved from school to college, I also moved from one country to another, and from one culture to a totally different culture. I was sure that I would miss my parents terribly, and that they would miss me. Surprisingly, we were both okay. I talk to them often and I visit them when I get a chance. I was also apprehensive about the food. I am a vegetarian who loves South Indian food and now I go to a US college which serves only American food. It was difficult getting used to the food but I found that varying my diet helped. The biggest challenge, though, was adjusting to its culture - you make friends with people who come from a completely different world with different value systems.

I find it difficult to accept the choices some of my friends make, especially when they drink a lot or act promiscuously. I am still struggling, but I have found that communication helps.

If your friends care about you, they will note your concerns. I had to make some changes in my life to adjust to them. Because deadlines are so strict, I have to prioritize what I need to do.

But college is great, I love it. I like it that I am learning so much, both inside the classroom and outside,” she says.

WHAT YOU NEED TO KNOW Attending the fresher’s orientation in college is important. Many colleges have ice-breaking sessions on the first day where your child can meet his batchmates and faculty. Some programmes also welcome parents.

“A few colleges in Chennai even invite Class 12 students to visit their campus and see the courses and facilities they offer. That itself prepares the students for college,” says Mohana.

College life is not always a bed of roses. Working with new classmates and professors can be stressful. Peer pressure coupled with sudden freedom can lead to experimentation with sexual relationships, drug and alcohol usage and other risky behaviours. Parents should have open discussions with their children on such topics and it is important to educate them on the harmful effects of such behaviours.

Most colleges have counsellors and health centres that can help those who need additional support.

College days are special shaping one’s life and creating unforgettable memories. Let your children make the best use of them!n

Photo Location Courtesy: Vels Group

DIFFERENCES BETWEEN SCHOOL AND COLLEGE LIVES SCHOOL COLLEGE A child’s time is structured by others.

The student will have to manage time

by herself (more freedom, more responsibility).

Extra-curricular activities are compulsory.

Extra-curricular activities are optional.

A child can expect his parents and teachers to remind him of his responsibilities and guide him in setting priorities.

The student will have to balance his responsibilities and set priorities.

Each day the child has a similar routine, proceeding from one class to the next.

Day-to-day schedules can change and students may enjoy a free period in between classes depending on the subjects they have chosen.

School textbooks are often sufficient for studying. It may not be necessary for the children to go to libraries for reference books and additional resources.

Students will have to research a wide range of books or websites on various subjects. Hence they need to join various libraries to get access to the necessary reference materials.

Teachers usually keep reminding the children of homework due dates and test dates, and often break up assignments into smaller chunks with target dates.

Students have to keep track of assigned work and test dates, and plan their work schedule accordingly.

There is no one to give reminders.

The student may not be required to take extensive notes in class.

Students need to take notes as the professor teaches.

Homework is assigned on a daily basis and teachers check the completed work.

Homework usually involves projects and long-term assignments

Teachers usually provide the child with the notes of classes he missed when he was absent.

Professors will not inform the student of what he missed; he will have to approach his professors to find out or ask friends for help and take notes from them.

Teachers will often write the necessary information and important reminders on the blackboard.

Professors usually lecture, writing just a few phrases on the board.

Tests are frequent.

Tests are mainly administered at the end of the semester.

www.parentcircle.in 25

interview

“I have

given my children their space ...”

R

ocks never looked so stunning and beautiful as they did in the movie Bombay. The picturization of the song ‘Uyire’ was breathtaking and with that, Indian cinema discovered a genius cinematographer in the form of Rajiv Menon.

The 49-year-old award-winning cinematographer works at his own pace and believes in perfection. His passion for his profession and the simplicity he seeks in all his works is also reflected in his personality. He has directed movies like Minsara Kanavu and Kandukondain Kandukondain. His next film Kadal, for which he is the cinematographer, is set for release later this year. However, his love affair with ad films continues. After all, it was the ad world that offered him his first job after his course in cinematography from the Madras Film Institute.

Rajiv Menon speaks to Shashwathi Sandeep about his career, family and above all, parenting his two daughters Saraswati (17) and Lakshmi (13).

Let us first talk about your career. Why did you shift from the ad world to films?

I completed my diploma in cinematography from the Madras Film Institute but found it hard to make a foray into the film industry. So, I began with ad films – first stills and then videos. But the kind of emotions you can portray in films is not possible in ads. In advertising, it is difficult to showcase

26 Parent Circle / June 2012

a larger palette of emotions like loss, betrayal, anxiety and anger. That is why I turned director with Minsara Kanavu and then Kandukondain Kandukondain.

What was your childhood like?

I lost my father when I was 15 years old. I was surrounded by well-read women on all sides and I have learnt a lot from them. My mother, Kalyani Menon, was an upbeat and positive person. I learnt music from her. My paternal grandmother became my best friend and I learnt philosophy from her. In fact, she had done her B.A and B.Ed in the early thirties when most of the women did not even go to school beyond a point.

What do you think about parenting?

I enjoy parenting. Bringing up two girls is not really easier than bringing up boys. However, I find that they have more arguments with their mother than with me. I am quite clear that we have to make them imbibe values. They need to understand from our examples and behaviour the difference between right and wrong. If they make a mistake, we give them some time to reflect on the issue and then follow it up with a small discussion. They understand the issue better.

What have you learnt from your daughters?

Whatever knowledge I have of Western music is because of them. They tell me to listen to certain songs and these invariably turn out to be good. While I teach them about

Andal (a southern saint who gave great impetus to the Bhakthi movement), they teach me Western music.

Also, their syllabus is very interesting. There is a huge scope for research and thinking for oneself. Recently, one of my daughters had to do a project on tigers. During the process, I realized that all the carnivores have long tails while the herbivores have short tails. I did not notice this till my daughter was doing the project. This way, I learn something new from them every day!

How do you spend your free time with your children?

We prefer an early dinner, and we discuss everything over dinner. We have a home theatre, so we end up watching movies together.

We also go on vacations often. I am an early morning person - I get up and exercise. I tell my daughters to exercise with me but they don’t. Even during vacations I insist on getting up early and getting an early start to the day.

When I visit London, I love going for a walk in Hyde Park and I drag my daughters with me. There are so many dogs out there! My younger one loves dogs. She researches them, identifies a particular breed that she wants and then asks me to buy it for her. As we already have two dogs, I insist that we don’t need any more dogs in the house.

We often visit our property near Kumarakom. I had taken my younger one to the farm near our land once. She wanted to watch TV but there was none at the farm. I asked her to plant a sapling instead and she did that reluctantly. After three years, when I returned to that farm, the sapling had bloomed and it bore fruits. My daughter was proud of the fact that she had planted that tree and wanted me to bring it to Chennai.

We visited Kapaleeshwarar temple during the Margazhi season. I took my daughters to the temple early in the morning and they enjoyed the music and the whole ambience. We then went to the nearby Kapaleeshwarar mess and had a yummy breakfast. I want my children to experience the many facets of life.

Are there any rules in the house?

I believe in being firm and reprimanding my children when it is necessary. After all, it is for their own good. We do not encourage cellphones. Only the older one has one now. They are not allowed to use AC except during certain times in summer. I am bringing up my daughters in a very simple way, and want to keep it that way.

Lakshmi, Latha, Rajiv and Saraswathi Menon

When children are at home, you tend to bend the rules for them. A child grows up at home, but she has to live in this world. The grounding for this ‘living’ is given at school. I have seen parents asking teachers not to put pressure on their children, which I feel is not correct. The child has to follow the discipline set at school and not expect the same kind of leeway given to her at home.

The differences in the environment between home and school causes confusion in our daughters as well. For any reason, if they unjustly start blaming the school, I explain to them that the school has a role to play in shaping them, and that it is for the best.

How do you encourage your children to develop their interests?

I have given my children their space. We always encourage them to hone their skills. The older one is interested in writing and has a few published poems to her credit. The younger one has a knack for photography and she clicks away on my cellphone. But when I give her the bigger camera, she does not want it.

I also encourage both my children to read. I make sure that both of them read the news on a daily basis and keep track of what is happening in the world around them.

June 17th is Father’s Day. Any message you would like to convey to other fathers out there?

You can teach your children to believe in themselves. You can help them grow up confident and modest. n

www.parentcircle.in 27

centrespread

n o y a s o t ve

! y a D s ’ r e h t Fa A AN

P

ICK N N A

ER, 4 YEARS

He always fights with the monsters to protect me. He is always there when I need him.

I don’t like it when he speaks to me in a scary voice. I don’t like the rough patch of hair on my dad’s cheeks. It is difficult for me to kiss him.

He is a very sweet dad, not strict at all.

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NATHAN, 7 Y E AR S me

28 Parent Circle / June 2012

with energy. He takes me on frequent outings and adventure trips. We go for fun activities like trekking, swimming in beaches, and exciting long drives to remote and exclusive places. He also buys me all my favourite things.

He is very short-tempered when he is tired and scolds me even before I can give an explanation.

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My father is very kind to me and never scolds me. He is very soft spoken.

He sometimes does not get me what I want, no matter how much I try to convince him.

I like his character and there is no one like my dad in this world.

www.parentcircle.in 29

careers

Career guidance and counselling

The nuts and bolts of engineering

BY ANASUYA JAGAN

S

teve Wozniak, co-founder of Apple Inc. and the genius engineer behind the first Apple computer loved electronics even as a child. In elementary school, he was into building wired house-to-house intercoms with his friends. While still in sixth grade, he designed a machine that played Tic-TacToe for his science project and even got his HAM licence. “It was all self-done; I didn’t ever take a course, didn’t ever buy a book on how to do it. Just pieced it together in my own head,” he says.

Steve’s childhood passion, interest and aptitude towards electronics and engineering translated into him becoming one of the greatest engineers of our times.

On the other hand, let us take the case of Akshay Srinivas who is currently doing his second year of Civil Engineering in Bangalore. On completing his Junior College, he followed the advice of his peers and his mother and grandmother and joined the engineering programme. He soon realized that engineering was not for him, but that he loved journalism. But his mother refused to allow him to transfer to another course.

Fortunately, while attending a seminar in IIM(B), he impressed the professors with his participation and responses to

30 Parent Circle / June 2012

ongoing discussions. He was invited by the professors to assist in research projects and write various reports for them. Akshay takes time off from college or works on weekends to help the professors. He is being adequately compensated and he is enjoying the reporting work, which resembles journalism. He also knows that the certificate that will be given by the professors will be of great value in the job market. Hopefully, after he has completed his degree, he will opt for a career that interests him.

So, before your child decides on a course or career path, it is always advisable to do careful research. If necessary, seek professional help to guide the child. By choosing the right path, your child will enjoy a more fulfilling and successful career later in life. But if she selects a path without really understanding what it entails, then there is a greater possibility of the child becoming unhappy with her choice.

Guiding children in making career choices Children today are bombarded with information and opinions both inside and outside the home. There are several choices available today, making the task of choosing a career quite complex.

Parents have to take the first step in understanding their child’s aptitude, passion and interest and guide her accordingly. Professional career guidance counsellors can also help in assessing the child and then guide her in making the appropriate career choices.

Says Dr Raj Mohan, Managing Director, Bodhi, an organisation set up in 1998 to help students choose their courses and careers: “Today’s parents are influenced by market demand, the opinions of friends and relatives, and the media. Often, they are more confused than their children and they try to enforce their views on them.

Instead, they should observe their child’s interests and inclinations from an early age and gauge their personality and aptitude. If they are unsure, parents should have their children assessed by an experienced psychological counsellor. Based on the child’s assessed profile, she can be given the appropriate guidance in choosing her career.”

Adds Kalavathi Amarachelvam, director at Bodhi “Even now, we find that parents and students blindly opt for

engineering without determining whether the students are well suited for this field. Instead of planning well in advance, parents want career counselling and guidance for their children only after the Plus 2 results are announced.”

Determining a child’s aptitude for engineering: The child should be curious about how things work. If he likes building with Legos or taking things apart and fixing them again, or likes to build radios and airplane models, then you know that he probably has an interest in engineering.

As he grows older, if he sustains this interest, it is a good sign. “A budding engineer should understand concepts.

They should be able to reason well with sound logic, be hands-on with gadgets and be good with numbers,” says Raj Mohan.

“Once a parent spots the underlying aptitude and interest, he should talk to the child about the different branches of engineering and discuss the various career options available. This can be done even when the child is as young as 9 or 10 years old, when he can begin to ‘visualize’ a career option,” explains Kalavathi.

“A particular branch of engineering may be chosen and a career ‘visualized’ if the child is indeed passionate about the subject and it suits his personality,” says Kalavathi. Psychometric tests by reputed institutions can help reaffirm the parent’s observation about the child.

“Take the case of a very bright student from IIT who was recruited by a truck manufacturing company. Despite the pay and the interesting job profile, he was unhappy. A psychometric test revealed that he was an extrovert – he was missing people at his workplace.

He asked for a transfer to another department that was more peopleoriented, and he became a happier person,” says Dr Raj Mohan.

A career in engineering Engineering as a career is very attractive. Engineers are not only well paid, but there is always a demand across all industries for good engineers.

Being an engineer is very different from being a technician. An engineer has to have a strong understanding of Math, Physics and Chemistry concepts.

Some fields such as Biotechnology and Biomedical Engineering require a strong foundation in Biology as well.

As an engineer, your child has to be able to apply Science and Math concepts to solve real world problems.

She has to be able to analyze the problem and design and implement the necessary solutions. A technician on the other hand, implements the designs given to him by an engineer.

In India, opportunities exist for most engineering fields. However certain fields such as Aerospace Engineering, Biotechnology and Biomedical Engineering currently have limited opportunities within India, though they have great potential for growth. Note: some companies in the pharmaceutical and biotechnology sectors employ people with postgraduate and research degrees in the science fields, instead of engineering graduates.

Usually, the aspiring engineering student will have to pursue a postgraduate degree overseas in these courses after which there are a lot of opportunities available globally.

For example: Even though Aerospace Engineering/Aeronautical Engineering may have limited opportunities here, the niche field of avionics software commands huge salaries.

In selecting a field of engineering, it is important to consider other factors besides interest and aptitude – Where does he want to live? What kind of lifestyle and environment is desirable?

What is the payscale?

Certain specialized courses are available only in select places. For example, the only college offering engineering design courses at the undergraduate level is IIT Guwahati. At the postgraduate level, IIT Bombay, IIT Delhi and IIT Guwahati offer these courses. Certain disciplines, such as Civil Engineering that involves infrastructure designing and building, require the engineer to be posted in various regions of the country, sometimes in very remote areas. In Marine Engineering and Ocean Engineering, the engineer may be required to live at sea, often for months at a time isolated from family and the rest of the world. In other fields such as Automobile Engineering, the industries are concentrated in specific belts such as in Chennai, Pune and Noida (UP).

So before your child selects his field of engineering, he should do some in-depth research on those fields that appear to interest him. He should also talk to other engineers who are working in these fields to gain a better understanding of what to expect once he enters a particular field. 8

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careers

AN OVERVIEW OF SOME BRANCHES OF ENGINEERING CORE ENGINEERING Electrical and Electronic Engineering • Electrical – large scale electrical systems such as power transmission and motor controls • Electronics – small scale electrical systems such as computers and integrated circuits/chips Specializations  Power  Telecommunications  Computer technology and networking Mechanical Engineering • Broadest of engineering disciplines • Design, analysis, manufacturing and maintenance of mechanical systems • Applies principles of Physics and materials Specializations:  Mechatronics – Study of motors, motor controls and related software engineering  Robotics – Application of Mechatronics to create robots to perform repetitive and/or dangerous tasks  Production Engineering – Study of manufacturing and assembly processes Civil Engineering • Oldest of engineering • Design, construction and maintenance of physical systems such as roads, bridges, canals and buildings Specializations  Structural  Environmental  Materials  Earthquake Chemical Engineering • Interdisciplinary engineering programme that involves almost all engineering fields • Process of converting chemicals or raw materials to more useful or valuable forms Specializations  Plant design  Process design

32 Parent Circle / June 2012

OTHER ENGINEERING Design Engineering • Covers multiple engineering disciplines • Involves conceptualizing and developing the preliminary and detailed designs of critical components of man- made objects Industrial Engineering • Optimization of complex processes and systems • Deals with integrated systems of people, money, materials, equipment using mathematical simulations Specializations  Operations research  Human factors engineering  Safety engineering Instrumentation Engineering • Science of measurement and control of process variables in manufacturing • Control systems Aeronautical Engineering • Concerned with the design, construction, maintenance and science of aircraft and spacecraft Specializations  Aeronautical Engineering (within Earth’s atmosphere)  Astronautical Engineering (outside Earth’s atmosphere)  Designing, building, maintenance and testing of flight simulators Automobile Engineering • Design, manufacture and operation of motorcycles, automobiles, buses and trucks Specializations  Safety Engineering – crash simulations and safety systems Ocean Engineering • Offshore construction of oil-drilling platforms • Undersea tunnels

• Port and waterfront design and engineering Specializations • Marine environmental engineering Metallurgical Engineering and Material Science • Technology of metals and the way in which science of material is applied to practical use.

Specializations  Mining Engineering  Corrosion science and engineering Agriculture Engineering • Science of agricultural production and processing of agricultural output Specializations  Soil management  Climatology Marine Engineering • Design of boats and marine vessel • Maintenance of propulsion and support systems for crew, passengers and cargo

Biotech Engineering • UN definition: “Any technological application that uses biological systems, living organisms, or derivatives thereof, to make or modify products or processes for specific use.”

Specializations  Genetic engineering  Pharmaceuticals  Biological engineering – involving application of biological sciences to health, food and agriculture Biomedical Engineering • Combines design with medical and biological sciences to improve healthcare diagnosis, monitoring, and therapy Specializations  Bionics (creation of dynamic prosthetics)  Design and manufacture of medical devices such as hearing implants and artificial hearts. n ANASUYA JAGAN IS AN AVID READER AND LOVES WRITING.

Textile Engineering • Conversion of natural or synthetic fibers to yarn, fabric and finished textile • Maintenance and design of production machinery Food Technology Engineering • Science of processes to make food Specializations  Cryogenic freezing  Food packaging Aircraft Maintenance • Overhaul, repair, inspection or modification of an aircraft or aircraft component • Airworthiness of aircraft

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special

S

requirements for the next day, or he would switch on the TV, thus abruptly ending the conversation. A worried Sunita took her son to a clinical psychologist who diagnosed attentiondeficit/hyperactivity disorder (ADHD) in Girish.

unita Mohan’s eight-year-old son Girish stood out at school, but not for the right reasons. His teachers complained that he fought with his classmates, that he never paid attention and his marks were going downhill.

Initially, his parents thought that he was just a normal child, easily distracted and forever impatient. They knew that other children got into the teachers’ bad books occasionally. But their son seemed to be a perpetual troublemaker.

Girish’s parents gave him pep-talks and tried to make him focus on his studies. But the situation progressively worsened. Girish lost his notebooks often. He would begin a conversation about his day at school. But, suddenly in the midst of his talk he would start discussing his breakfast

34 Parent Circle / June 2012

Many children run around wildly. They race cars, yell non-stop, blurt out answers or crash into furniture despite normal eyesight. A few get easily distracted, tend to act impulsively or struggle to concentrate on the tasks at hand.

BY CHITRA SATYAVASAN

“Such behaviour is normal but may be mistaken for ADHD. However, children with ADHD have frequent behavioural problems which severely interfere with their ability to live normal lives. It is then that

the parents and teachers should suspect ADHD and consult a psychologist,” says Ravi Samuel, a Chennai-based cognitive behaviour psychotherapist.

ABCs of ADHD ADHD, a neurobehavioral disorder, is characterized by inattention, impulsivity and hyperactivity. Children with ADHD tend to have abnormal functioning of specific brain chemicals called neurotransmitters. Nerve pathways that regulate behaviour are also affected. Studies suggest that genes, environmental factors, brain injuries during childhood, nutrition and social environment may contribute to ADHD. Psychologists believe that approximately 3-5% of school-going children in our country have ADHD. “ADHD is more common among boys with studies showing about 4 boys with this disorder for every girl diagnosed.

It is difficult to come up with correct statistics as not much field research has been conducted in India on ADHD,” says New Delhi-based clinical psychologist Dherandra Kumar.

Signs ADHD symptoms usually appear when the child is 3-6 years of age.

The American Academy of Pediatrics (AAP) defines three types of ADHD. One is the predominantly inattentive type ADHD and the second one is the predominantly hyperactive-impulsive type ADHD. Children having aspects of both fall under the combined type ADHD. Children should have at least six of the defined symptoms with some of them present before the age of seven.

The symptoms must be present for at least six months to a degree that is inconsistent with developmental level and should be seen in two or more settings (home, school, or with peers).

Predominantly inattentive type often: w Fails to pay attention to detail, makes careless mistakes w Has difficulty sustaining attention in tasks or play w Does not seem to listen when spoken to directly w Does not follow through and fails to finish tasks w Has difficulty organizing tasks and activities w Avoids tasks requiring sustained mental effort w Loses things w Is easily distracted by extraneous stimuli w Is forgetful in daily activities Predominantly hyperactiveimpulsive type often: w Fidgets or squirms when sitting w Has difficulty remaining seated w Runs around or climbs excessively in inappropriate situations w Has difficulty playing quietly w Is often ‘on the go’ w Talks excessively w Blurts out answers to questions before they have been completed w Has difficulty waiting for his or her turn w Interrupts or intrudes upon others

The ADHD outcome Other childhood behaviour disorders: “ADHD does not cause other psychological or developmental problems. However, children with ADHD are more likely to have other childhood behaviour disorders or a learning disability,” says Chennai-based psychiatrist Dr U Gauthamadas.

Poor academic performance: Despite having normal intelligence, their academic performance will stay poor. This is because such children are invariably too restless or inattentive 8

Management strategies Get your child evaluated once you suspect ADHD so that he does not face rejection from his peers in class.

Participate with your child in the recovery process. If you sit reading a book for an hour, your child will automatically mimic your behaviour and learn to focus. Usually, ADHD does not affect long-term growth.

So, help your child focus on his areas of interest and encourage in him lateral thinking.

Children with ADHD do not understand time constraints.

Display big clocks with numbers and teach your child to use them. “Use timers for homework and an alarm for routine activities like getting ready for bed or waking up,” suggests Dr Gauthamadas.

Structure activities and establish a routine so that your child knows what to expect and what he is expected to do. Plan study hours or play time and make a list of tasks that need to be done. Be a role model for neatness and organization.

Put in place predictable rituals for meals, play hours, hobbies, homework and bedtime. Clothes for the next morning and whatever else the child needs to take to school must be laid out in such a way that he can easily find it.

Inform others that your child has ADHD so that they know how to handle your child without hurting him.

Gradually inculcate in your child social skills like sharing so that he learns not to be disruptive.

Mothers should involve the fathers in taking care of the child as fathers tend to distance themselves from the child with ADHD.

www.parentcircle.in 35

special – they cannot focus on studies or memorize dates and facts. Children may not have the patience to even finish reading a passage.

Performing executive functions: “Some children may have trouble performing executive functions. They may not be able to hold information in short-term memory or may not be able to shift from one mental activity to another. They may have poor planning skills, and have trouble understanding the importance of goals,” says Dherandra.

Return to normalcy? It cannot be cured or prevented. “But with early intervention and a suitable school environment, many children with ADHD learn to control disruptive behaviour, and improve their concentration skills.

They develop personal strengths, and become productive and successful adults. Many have become lawyers, fashion designers and architects. But those with severe ADHD may not go past their high school graduation and would be comfortable with lesser demanding job roles where they assist, but do not lead,” says Ravi.

Screening tests “Ideally, a psychiatrist is the one to consult when you suspect ADHD as there are other physical/psychiatric disorders whose behavioural problems resemble ADHD.

A 12-year-old boy was brought to me for ADHD treatment. He was diagnosed four years earlier by a psychologist and had gone through various therapies.

Detailed history revealed that the child had an epileptic seizure in infancy. The child's hyperactivity disappeared with the treatment for epilepsy,” says Dr Gauthamadas.

It is vital to look out for other causes before zeroing in on ADHD. “Once a seven-year-old boy – very hyperactive – was brought to me.

Upon probing, we found that his mother was depressed as the father was an alcoholic. The child naturally felt insecure and developed symptoms of hyperactivity to divert his mother’s attention. Once his parents changed their behaviour, the boy became normal. Thus, there are certain clinical conditions which mimic ADHD and diagnosis should be made only after thorough evaluation,” says Ravi.

If you suspect ADHD in your child, visit a psychologist/psychiatrist for a test.

“Although some paediatricians may be able to diagnose ADHD in children, most of them will ask you to consult

a psychologist, counsellor or social worker who can treat ADHD through behavioural management,” says Dherandra.

Parents should brace themselves for a number of questions related to problems the mother may have faced during pregnancy, family history of ADHD, and other medical problems that the child may have. They would be asked about early problems relating to child developmental milestones like sleep patterns and speech development. More queries about their interaction with the child, sibling relationships and school reports will follow.

“The tests may involve learning and problem-solving tasks that help define the particular areas that are the most difficult for the child to handle.

A diagnosis relies on behavioural symptoms. A general physical examination will also be done to determine if any medical conditions are present,” says Dherandra.

Treatment Treatment involves some or a combination of the following: Medication: Certain medications called stimulants may be used to control hyperactivity and increase attention span.

“ADHD medication can cause a dramatic change in the child. An 8-year-old boy was brought with a history of poor scholastic performance, getting into fights, and unable to make friends. His

36 Parent Circle / June 2012

parents had changed three schools.

He would barely write anything in the exam. He would not do his homework and would break things in the house.

He would beat and bite his younger sister. The schools had branded him as a problem child and refused to promote him. He repeated the same class twice.”

Jaipur-based marketing professional Rajiv Sethi’s 14-yearold son Anmol was diagnosed with ADHD eight years ago. He recounts how his son’s struggle with ADHD continues to date:

Clinically, he demonstrated features of ADHD. Investigations did not reveal any brain abnormalities. I started him on medication. Within a month, his unruly behaviour stopped. With parental counselling, his sibling rivalry was settled. He began passing his class tests. By the end of the second year, he was scoring more than 60% in most papers,” says Dr Gauthamadas.

“My son Anmol, our first child, was born in 1998.

He was a healthy and normal baby. But after his fifth birthday, he became hyperactive. Initially, we thought he was just an energetic and outgoing child.

We became concerned when he started exhibiting disruptive tendencies - like unnecessarily throwing things, hitting others and yelling. We took him to a psychologist. Medications were given, but when we saw no improvement in his behaviour, we moved on to other psychologists.

Behaviour modification: This would involve encouraging positive behaviour and minimising undesirable behaviour.

ADHD children face a lot of criticism regarding their behaviour. They crave positive reinforcement and parents should encourage their child’s attempts to change her behaviour.

After four years, we took him to yet another psychologist who said that my son, then nine years old, had hyperactiveimpulsive type ADHD. She prescribed tranquilisers which calmed him. But that was not the best solution as we started receiving complaints from teachers that he was falling asleep on his desk. The medicines were making him drowsy.

Social skills training: This will help the child to behave appropriately in social situations.

Psychotherapy: This will help the child handle emotions in a better manner and will improve her self-esteem.

Support groups: Support groups consist of parents who share details about ADHD and the latest approaches to treatment.

The AAP guidelines recommend that for children between 4-5 years, behavioural therapy should be the first approach and medication should be resorted to only if the behavioural interventions prove ineffective. For ages six and above, a combination of medication and behavioural therapy is advised. 8

Parent Speak

We had to stop those medications after one-and-a-half months.

His behaviour became worse. Now, he is in Standard IX but pays no attention to his studies. His teachers complain that he is very rude to them and is constantly jumping about in the classroom, moving from one desk to another and disturbing his classmates during ongoing sessions. My son is great friends with all the bad elements in his class.

At home, he constantly irritates his nine-year-old younger sister and they end up fighting. My daughter is normal and very good in studies; you can say she is his exact opposite. Even my son’s tuition teachers are offended by him as he neither respects them nor us. If I tell him to brush his teeth at 7:00 am and get ready by 7:30 am, you will see him jumping about or roaming from room to room till 7:45 am, not bothered by the fact that he has to reach school on time.

We have consulted another psychologist who has conducted a whole series of fresh assessments. We are awaiting the reports for further therapy. We are hoping that the new treatment will make life easier for him and us, and help my son lead a normal life to a large extent.

www.parentcircle.in 37

special “Once ADHD is confirmed in a child, depending on his age and severity of the symptoms, the treatment would involve behavioural therapy, activities to improve the cognitive functions, medication or a combination of the three.

children lead normal lives to a great extent. Once the treatment is over, parents can manage their children and help them control their behaviour,” says Dherandra.

Understand and accept

1. Dr. Gautham's Neuro Centre 4/68 PC Hostel Road, Chetpet, Chennai 600 031 Ph: 98410 10197

For mild to moderate cases, shortterm treatments are involved. When medication is given, the child may be ‘normal’ for a certain period of time – let’s say, during the school hours, he will be attentive and calm. But once school gets over and the medication wears off, he may revert to his original self. Medication is given when the child indulges in disruptive behaviour like beating others,” says Ravi.

Though handling a child with ADHD can be a frustrating affair, there is a lot that you the parent can do to help your child face the challenges. (See box on Management Strategies on page 33).

2. The Clinic 26/1 Arcot Street, T.Nagar, Chennai 600 017 Ph: 044 - 2433 7439

For very severe cases, parents would have to prepare themselves for a longterm treatment, over a period of 10-12 years.

“If the child is having trouble with his concentration, we will involve him in cognitive training activities that will improve his concentration skills.

Behavioural therapy will help the child modify his behaviour as he begins to analyse the consequences of his actions.

Reinforcing positive behaviour also goes a long way in helping these

RESOURCES

Understand and accept the problem and work around it. “Parents should not look for a quick fix. ADHD is not a headache where you pop a pill and in a minute, you feel cured. They should understand that the treatment is a longterm process, especially in severe ADHD cases. It is vital that they have a proper perspective,” advises Ravi.

3. PsyIndia D-8, Greater Kailash Enclave-I, New Delhi 110048 Ph: 98117 14071

Above all, do not be fatalistic and blame yourself. Do not be in denial either. Enlist the help of a psychologist to ensure that your child overcomes ADHD limitations. n

4. AIKYA, New No. 7, Bhagirathy St, Raja Annamalai Puram, Chennai 600 028 Ph: 044 - 2461 2668 / 2499 3892 / 9444 960643 Email : info@aikya.org

Apollo Clinic, NHS-06, HUDA Market, Sector-17, Faridabad 121002 Ph: 0129 - 425999

5. American Academy of Pediatrics' Website: http://www.aap.org/en-us/ Pages/Default.aspx 6. www.chadd.org

38 Parent Circle / June 2012

nutrition

Making sense of food labels

BY SMITHA SURESH

R

unning to a store to buy processed food? How often do you go beyond the ‘How to make’ instructions and actually read and assess the ingredients?

A mother, interested in providing sufficient nutrition to the family, should choose packaged foods based on their nutrition labels. She should also understand and interpret the labels correctly.

The goal is to minimise the use of processed, packaged foods in the kitchen as fresh food is available in abundance. Packed foods like wheat flour, brown rice, dal and legumes are standardized in their nutrient content and are not considered as processed food. As a nutritionist, I believe this about processed foods: The myth: Nutrition labels, ingredients lists and health claims on food products are designed to inform consumers about what is contained in the product.

The reality: Instead, these labels are used by food manufacturers to confuse consumers and mislead them into thinking that their products are healthier (or of a better quality) than they actually are.

Here is a guide that will help demystify some of the confusion and myths behind the labels on packaged foods:

40 Parent Circle / June 2012

INGREDIENTS Read the list of ingredients on the label and avoid picking up anything that contains: r Added sugar as a major ingredient r Sugar substitutes such as mannitol, xylitol, high fructose corn syrup (HFCS is fortunately, not commonly found in Indian processed foods) and artificial sweeteners like aspartame r More than 1g of saturated fat per serving r More than 1g of cholesterol r More than 2g of total fat per serving r (Partially) hydrogenated vegetable oil, also known as trans fat r Sodium nitrate and nitrite r Artificial colours and flavours r Products containing monosodium glutamate (MSG) or more than 100 mg of salt per serving if you or any member of your family has high blood pressure or a history of heart disease. Food with high salt content is unhealthy for your children too. r Some processed foods list wheat

flour as an ingredient. Don’t be fooled as it is still only maida.

ON THE NUTRITION LABEL Serving size: This tells you the size of the serving for which the nutrient measurements are listed. Usually, manufacturers have a standard serving size which makes it easier to compare quantity vis-à-vis nutrition value. For example, most labels will have ‘cups’ or ‘pieces’ listed as the serving size, and this is followed by the metric amount in grams. It will also tell you how many servings are there in the box.

With this information, you can compare the serving size with the quantity you would eat. For example, a small packet of Marie biscuits may contain three servings, but suppose you eat the entire quantity? You should do some quick mental math. If you consume the whole packet, you have had three times the amount of nutrients listed on the food label.

Protein: You require approx 0.8g of protein per kg of body weight per day.

So, sift through different brands of the same item and choose the one with the highest protein content per serving.

Snack foods and fried stuff like chips have no significant quantity of protein.

Take the hint and avoid these.

Carbohydrates: This can be divided into simple and complex carbs – and this classification should be there on food labels as well. Always choose those that have a higher amount of complex carbs (whole grains) such as whole wheat, ragi and oats. If simple carbs are higher, it could also mean that this product has a high amount of sugar (in which case, avoid it).

Fat: Fats are classified into MUFA (mono-unsaturated fatty acids), PUFA (poly-unsaturated fatty acids), SFA (saturated fatty acids), cholesterol and trans fatty acids (trans fats). Cholesterol and SFA should ideally be below 1g per serving. If it is higher, choose a different brand and do not compromise on this, as these types of fats are totally unhealthy. Trans fat is always best avoided, while the total fat per serving should be less than 2g if you are committed to making healthy choices.

Vitamins and minerals: Again on the label, manufacturers use the term ‘percentage of daily value’ to define this. Do not buy a product by looking at this part of the label; you will get enough vitamins and minerals by eating fresh food.

If the percentage of daily values of iron,

calcium, vitamin A,C or D of a product is more than 25-30%, be wary - the food has probably been fortified. It is almost impossible for a processed food to naturally contain such high amounts of micro-nutrients. Eating such highly fortified foods on a regular basis may cause toxicity. This is not the case with nutrients naturally found in fresh foods like fruits and vegetables.

l If a food has a daily value of 5% or less of a nutrient, it is considered to be low in that nutrient. l A food is a good source of a nutrient if the percent daily value is between 10% and 19%. l If the food has 20% or more of the daily value, it is considered an excellent source of that nutrient.

Fibre: A food product containing Calories: You might find a label listing all nutrient values (instead of just the vitamins and minerals) as a percentage of your daily requirement for the same.

You should not be guided by this as manufacturers base their calculations on a ‘fixed’ calorie intake, whereas calorie requirement actually varies from person to person. So, percentage nutrient values will also vary.

The percent daily value amounts are based on these nutrition guidelines: l 65% of calories can come from carbohydrates. l 20% of calories can come from fat, with most fats coming from sources of unsaturated fats. l 15% of calories can come from protein.

at least 3g of fibre per serving is considered to be reasonably high in fibre. Note that foods claiming to be high in fibre also tend to be high in fat and sugar for palatability, especially breakfast cereals and biscuits.

HEALTH CLAIMS Not always do they ring true. A 6-month-old child was found to be anaemic, despite having iron-fortified infant formulae, highlighted well on the tin! And then, do you favour sunflower oil because its manufacturers claim that the product has zero cholesterol? The fact is that any product of vegetable origin does not contain cholesterol!

The total calories that are recommended for adults is 1800 - 2000 per day, but this can vary. Do not get too caught up with counting calories – just look at the overall health value.

Carefully read the labels as you buy processed foods and decide for yourself whether these are genuinely healthier food choices or not. You will notice that no processed food is ideal. Not only will you spend less money on them, you will also choose those foods that do the least damage to your health. n

The percent daily value:

SMITHA SURESH IS A PRACTISING

Figuring out this information can be complicated. But as a consumer, you can easily gauge whether the food is high or low in a particular nutrient:

NUTRITIONIST FROM CHENNAI WITH OVER TEN YEARS OF EXPERIENCE IN CLINICAL, FITNESS AND CORPORATE NUTRITION COUNSELLING.

www.parentcircle.in 41

circle of life

n e e r G g n e i m o o G ns at h i g e b I

UTNAN

UV F

BY DHR

Small changes in your lifestyle can help save the environment and also improve the quality of your life.

T

he buildings that we live and work in have a major impact on the environment since they consume energy and resources, and create waste.

There are countless studies which show a direct correlation between an occupant’s health and adequate daylight and ventilation. With our lifestyle, with a majority of our time spent indoors, the design of our spaces is of great importance.

Over the last few years, the term ‘Green Building’ has been used extensively by

42 Parent Circle / June 2012

builders, designers and architects. It implies that these projects have incorporated measures like energy-saving, water conservation and ventilation. For a home owner or buyer, the Indian Green Building Council (IGBC) Green Homes Certification is a validation that a building/home meets these standards.

The important thing to remember is that when you decide to build or buy a new home or office, ensure that it is Green-certified. Secondly, even if your current space is not designed according

4. Building Materials

to Green standards, you can still protect the environment by adopting a few simple Green lifestyle strategies listed:

When building a new home or renovating your existing one, keep the following in mind:

1. Energy Saving The major components of your electricity bill are the energy consumed for air conditioning, lighting and the appliances in use. A few simple tips to help you save on electricity are: Use 3 Star or higher-rated air conditioners and appliances at home.

These are rated by the BEE (Bureau of Energy Efficiency) and the greater the number of stars (up to 5 stars), the better the efficiency. This way, you get the same performance at a lower operating cost.

Clean the air filters in the AC regularly. A dirty filter can increase power consumption by 5-15%.

Turn the thermostat to 24 or 25 degrees. Every degree below 25 has a substantial increase in operating costs in India where the ambient temperatures are high.

Turn off plugs when not in use.

Chargers and appliances, even if they are not turned on, will consume electricity if they are connected to a plug point that is switched on.

Use solar water heaters, instead of energy-guzzling geysers, to reduce electricity consumption.

2. Water Saving Water is fast becoming a scarce commodity and fresh water is bought in large tankers to most city homes and apartments. Save water in the following ways: The most efficient way of saving water in toilets is by installing water-

saving fixtures. These fixtures use efficient technology to reduce the amount of water used per flush or litres per minute in flow fixtures. Changing a shower head or an old dripping faucet is not difficult and can easily result in savings of 20-25%.

Remember to turn off the tap when you brush your teeth and while shaving.

This unnecessary use of water for 5-6 minutes a day can save up to 20 litres per person per day!

3. Recycling Waste Many cities have large, unsightly and ever-growing landfills surrounding them. These are not only an environmental hazard, but a breeding place for disease-causing germs.

Surprisingly, landfills are filled with materials that can be easily recycled.

Most countries in the world collect trash in a segregated form because it becomes easier to recycle. Provide separate trash bins at home for recyclables and organic waste, to make handling of waste easier.

One of the simplest ways to reduce waste is to reduce our consumption of items that produce waste. For example, a simple way to reduce plastic waste is to carry your own cloth/jute bag and to buy products which don’t use too much plastic packaging. Judicious printing of documents by using both sides of the paper is also a simple and an effective strategy to cut paper waste.

Windows and glazing are the elements that allow maximum heat into the house. Unplasticized poly vinyl chloride (UPVC) windows with high performance glass reduce energy loss from the leaks in the frame and cut down on incident heat.

Use a reflective paint or a roof garden on the roof of the building.

The roof receives a lot of direct solar radiation from the sun and these strategies reduce the heat and hence, the AC loading.

Use paints with low volatile organic compound (VOCs) for interiors as regular paints give off harmful fumes which may affect your health.

5. Lifestyle Options Go paperless with your bills and other mailers. Paper bills occupy space, cause deforestation and end up in landfills.

Use rechargeable batteries for your camera as disposable batteries contain toxic chemicals and most people don’t take the effort to dispose of them properly.

The Dalai Lama has rightly said, “As people alive today, we must consider future generations: a clean environment is a human right like any other. It is, therefore, part of our responsibility towards others to ensure that the world we pass on is as healthy, if not healthier, than we found it.” n

DHRUV FUTNANI IS AN ARCHITECT WHO PROVIDES GREEN BUILDING SOLUTIONS TO COMMERCIAL AND RESIDENTIAL PROJECTS. VISIT WWW.DHRUVFUTNANI.COM

www.parentcircle.in 43

teen circle

MIRROR, MIRROR,ON THE WALL

BY CHITRA SATYAVASAN

D

eepshikha, a vivacious 15-year-old Class 10 student of SRF Vidyalaya, Chennai, with medium length hair, wishes to have longer hair. She says, “My friends love long hair. I too want to have long hair so that my friends will better appreciate me and spend more time with me. I don’t splurge on beauty products.

But I do try to take care of my hair by applying VVD oil to which curry leaves have been added.”

Teens like her are under pressure to conform to a media-driven social and cultural ideal of beauty. Kareena Kapoor attains size zero and teenage girls reading about it on the front page of national dailies lose no time in trying to attain this elusive size. Meanwhile, teenage boys become gym freaks determined to wear tight-fitting shirts and flaunt their biceps.

After all, our movies glorify physical strength where six packs help men achieve

44 Parent Circle / June 2012

To lose confidence in one's body is to lose confidence in oneself."

SIMONE DE BEAUVOIR everything – from beating up villains to winning the heroine.

Such preoccupations reveal a poor body image, with teenagers feeling inadequate about their bodies. Body image relates to how we see our body and think and feel about it. It also refers to the way we think our families and friends see our body. A teen’s body image does not always accurately reflect what her body looks like – a girl may say she is fatter than she actually is.

POSITIVE BODY IMAGE A positive body image is vital to the physical and psychological health of children and adults alike. Teens with a positive body image have more selfesteem, are able to accept their bodies, feel confident, adopt healthy eating habits, understand that their looks say little about their character and feel less inclined to conform to societal notions of beauty.

FACTORS INFLUENCING BODY IMAGE Teens are impressionable; they are vulnerable to influences as they experiment with various identities. They need role models and affirmation from their groups.

Parents. If parents fret about their appearance, teenagers will fuss about their looks. Again, if parents criticize their child’s body, she will develop a poor image of herself.

“Many parents highlight their child’s physical qualities, ignoring his or her talents. They may tell their relatives how they wish their daughter was taller or fairer. The child overhears this and decides that if she splurges on fairness creams or high heels, her mother will love her more. When parents return from weddings, you will hear them say things like, ‘Though the bride is dark, she has good features’. Why not say ‘The bride has a smart and pleasing personality’? If parents focus on the personality, the children will learn to emulate them,” says S Yamuna, a Chennai-based psychologist.

Puberty. Appearance of body hair and other bodily changes during puberty also make teens suddenly conscious of their bodies. They also discover that appearances can be altered through exercising, skin lightening, dieting, waxing or by applying cosmetics.

“Teens are attracted to the opposite sex. They have been conditioned to believe that the opposite sex will talk to them only if they are beautiful or handsome. Low self-esteem makes them think that if they don’t look great, then they are not ‘worthy’ of the boy or girl’s attention,” says Chennai-based psychologist Karthik Lakshmanan.

Media and society: Movies, magazine and huge billboards show beautiful women and muscular men as desirable.

Justin Bieber fans lose no time in imitating his hair cuts or wearing his kind of clothes. They try to look ‘cool’, thin, fashionable, ‘tough’ or just express themselves via their choice of dress, piercings and gadgets.

“Besides, society equates being ‘thin’ with being disciplined, hard-working or strong. If you are ‘fat’, it apparently means you lack self-control. Because of such categorization, teens are anxious to look thin,” adds Karthik.

Other adults and peers. If your son’s buddies are sporting tattoos, it won’t be long before you spot a dragon breathing fire on his shoulder!

Eighteen-year-old Kathir began wearing sagging trousers as he thought that was ‘kewl’ and reflected his devil-may-care personality. It was only after his Dad’s friend said he looked ‘shoddy’ that he changed into a pair of straight fit jeans!

Again, if your daughter’s friends tell her that she would look ‘chilled out’ if she streaked her hair purple, she will do just that to gain acceptance in the group.

As sixteen-year-old Vasundhara, the daughter of a bureaucrat posted in Haryana, says, “When I arrived in Chandigarh two years ago, the girls in my class ridiculed my dark complexion.

I tried fairness creams but they didn’t work. However, after I sang at our annual day function, my classmates began discussing my musical talent instead of my looks. Now I value my voice and know that a dusky complexion is beautiful!”

A NEGATIVE BODY IMAGE A teen has a negative body image when he has feelings of inadequacy, is not comfortable with his appearance and feels depressed. He may even adopt unhealthy eating habits.

“A poor body image springs from low self-esteem. Divert your child’s attention to his areas of interest. Let him focus on his talent. At the same time, parents should teach grooming habits to their children so that children feel confident and happy,” says Karthik.

Though society often judges people by their looks, the concept of beauty is fluid. Teenagers don’t realize that different societies celebrate different ideals of beauty, which change with time. In the ancient times, a plump female body, which symbolised fertility and wealth, was considered attractive.

But now, thin is in. Teens are unaware that these perfect images in ads are deliberately used to lure people into buying products!

Body image dissatisfaction is not limited to body size, but also facial 8

TIPS FOR PARENTS You can help your teenager achieve a better body image by: Telling her to accept her body as it is and not be affected by media.

Encouraging her to find her own style; the dress should express her individuality.

Making him think positively, like saying ‘I love my body’.

Teaching him the basics of personal hygiene. Impart grooming skills so that he looks clean and confident.

But ensure that he doesn’t go overboard, spending too much on colognes or hair spray.

Asking her not to compare her body with those of her friends.

Eating healthy food. If you are attracted to ‘miracle’ diets, she will also prefer restrictive dieting. If you tell your daughter that she will be prettier if she loses weight, she will think that the goal of weight loss is to be attractive.

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teen circle

characteristics, physical disability or ethnicity.

Clara Tempo, a Manipuri working in the hospitality industry, recalls how she envied other girls with big eyes and sharp features during her school days in Delhi. As a teen, she used mascara lavishly to accentuate her eyes. “Later, when a Gujarati girl in my college told me how she wished she had my high cheekbones, I realized that I too have an enviable feature,” smiles Clara.

GIRLS Teenage girls are reportedly more dissatisfied with their body image than adolescent boys. They have a tendency to develop anorexia, bulimia and binge-eating disorders during adolescence. Some start smoking to suppress hunger. (People with anorexia think they are overweight; so they eat less or avoid food as much as they can. In the case of girls, this affects the occurrence of their periods. People with bulimia eat excess food and then try vomiting or use laxatives to get rid of the food. Bulimia can damage their stomach and lead to rupture of the esophagus and dehydration.)

“I once read in a magazine that a celebrity drank only Coke and smoked to stay thin. I followed that, and also drank orange juice often

46 Parent Circle / June 2012

as I felt dizzy at times. I also went to the gym to get toned arms. After I fell unconscious in my room one evening, I realized that my eating habits had gone haywire. My mom and maid soon kept a strict eye on my meal intake. I am now 50 kg, which is ideal for my height,” says the petite five feet tall Payal Sen, a seventeen-year-old teen studying in Modern High School for Girls in Kolkata.

BOYS Boys are also at risk of developing unhealthy eating habits.

“Body image is a crucial issue to teenage boys as they struggle with bodily changes. They suddenly become conscious of the ‘ideal’ muscular male.

They think that to become attractive to the girls, they have to look attractive first,” says Yamuna. This sense of insecurity gets heightened when girls outline their ‘preferences’ as to what makes a guy desirable.

Sometimes it is the ‘macho look’ promoted by the media. And when the teen is busy building his biceps, sporting a beard and wearing rugged denims, the media does a U-turn and suddenly, it’s the sensitive guy who is attractive.

The teen now has to do another image makeover – he has to have his hair cut neatly, wear cologne and smell good, look and act slightly effeminate so that the girls gush about his ‘sensitive good looks’.

CONCLUSION We all want to look and feel great, but that does not mean that one should obsess about one’s appearance. Healthy bodies need not be thin bodies or those with hour glass figures! Explain to your child why she should

MORE TIPS FOR PARENTS Avoid negative statements about food or the body or comments on other people’s looks.

Ensure that your child understands that weight gain is normal during puberty.

Involve her in feel-good activities like art, sports or whatever else she likes.

Keep an eye on your child. If he develops irregular eating habits, find out the reasons and consult a counsellor if needed.

Compliment your child’s talents, accomplishments, and values.

Teach him to appreciate his body for what it can do like walking, running, or writing, instead of judging it in terms of how it looks.

Ask him not to trust muscleenhancing drugs or pills that promise a quick slim and trim look.

Let her choose role models who have excelled in areas like art, business or sports instead of admiring a celebrity just for her looks.

Ensure that she indulges in some exercises like walking or running without overdoing them. It will tone up her body and fight stress.

not worry too much about her body and appearance. Only then will she have the freedom to discover more about herself – her interests and talents.

She will, in time, feel truly beautiful! n

parent chef

INGREDIENTS Rice flour: 3 cups Pottu kadalai (fried gram) flour: 1cup Unsalted butter (softened): 2 tsp Salt to taste Cold water (as needed to make dough) Oil: for deep frying

BY RASHMEE RAMKUMAR

Most of us are intimidated by the thought of trying out Indian savouries. Here are some simple ‘Make and Store’ Indian snacks.

Mullu Thenkuzhal METHOD: Make a soft dough (very loose chappathi dough consistency) by mixing together all the above ingredients except oil.

Press into medium hot oil through a murukku achu (mould or press) or any other mould like the ribbon pakoda achu.

Fry till golden brown. Cool and store airtight.

Remains fresh for a month in an airtight container INGREDIENTS

Chatpata Kaju

(TASTY AND TANGY CASHEWS) METHOD: Mix together rice flour, onion, garlic, ginger, chilly powder, salt, turmeric powder, and asafoetida. Mix in 1 tsp oil so that the mixture resembles bread crumbs.

Dry roast the cashews in a kadai for 2 - 3 minutes to make them slightly crisp. Do not brown them.

Mix the roasted cashews in the above mixture and set aside for 5 minutes.

Heat the oil on medium flame. Once heated, add the cashews one by one into the kadai and fry till golden brown.

Sprinkle chaat masala and pepper and toss (optional).

Cool and store in an airtight container.

48 Parent Circle / June 2012

Stays for 10 - 15 days when stored in an airtight container at room temperature.

Cashew: 100g Rice flour: 50g Onion: 1 small (finely chopped) Garlic: 2-3 pods (finely chopped) Ginger: ½ inch (finely grated) Chilly powder: 1/2tsp Turmeric powder: 1/4tsp Asafoetida: a pinch Salt to taste Pepper powder: ½ tsp Chaat masala: ½ tsp Oil: for deep-frying

INGREDIENTS Pori (puffed rice) : 100g Roasted peanuts: 50g Pottu kadalai (fried gram) flour: 50g Asafoetida: 1 pinch Turmeric powder: ¼ tsp Chilly powder: 1/2tsp Curry leaves: 10-15 Oil: 2 tsp Mustard seeds: 1 tsp

Masala Pori METHOD: Heat the oil in a kadai and temper mustard, roasted peanuts, fried gram, chilly powder, turmeric powder, asafoetida and curry leaves.

Switch off the flame. Toss in the puffed rice and mix well. Allow to remain in the kadai for 5 minutes.

Cool and store in an airtight container.

Stays good for a month at room temperature when stored in an airtight container

FOR THE WRAP Knead the ingredients into a stiff puri-like dough consistency and set aside for 1 hour.

MAKING THE KACHORIS

INGREDIENTS For the filling Moong dal: 60g Saunf: 1tsp Jeera: 1 tsp Cumin powder: 1tsp Dhania powder: 1tsp Turmeric: 1/4tsp Chilly powder: 1/2 tsp Salt: to taste Oil: 2 tsp For the wrap Maida: 225 g Salt to taste Oil: 2 tsp Cold water (as needed to make stiff dough)

Flaky Dal Kachoris METHOD: Soak moong dal for 4 – 6 hours.

Grind the soaked moong dal in a mixer without water till a coarse paste is formed.

Heat oil in a kadai and fry the moong dal paste along with all spices till completely dry, resembling a brown dry powder. Set aside to cool.

Take a ball of the dough (a tiny lemon-sized ball) and using your fingers, flatten it out to resemble a small puri.

Place 1 tsp of the filling in the centre and reseal like a dumpling. Flatten out again with the palm into a puri of 1½ inch diameter.

Repeat with the rest of the dough and filling. This will make about 12 kachoris.

Deep fry in oil at medium heat. The kachori should take its time to surface from the hot oil and not come up immediately.

When golden brown, remove from oil. Serve warm with mint Stays good for chutney and tamarind chutney a week at room or cool and store in airtight temperature. It container. n

can be warmed in a microwave for 30 seconds before serving

RASHMEE RAMKUMAR IS A CHENNAI-BASED NUTRITIONIST WHO RUNS HER OWN BAKING ENTERPRISE ‘SNOW FROSTING’.

www.parentcircle.in 49

check it out

Good Reads

Dear Zoo

BY ROD CAMPBELL

`250, Macmillan

Dear Zoo is a classic must-have liftthe-flap book for early readers. A child writes to the zoo to send him a pet. The zoo-keepers send him a series of animals ranging from an elephant to a monkey, each hiding behind a flap. But the child rejects each one of them citing a reason – the elephant is too heavy, the frog too jumpy or the monkey too naughty! The child, finally, receives the perfect pet to keep.

Children will enjoy lifting the flaps and discovering each hidden animal. A little part of the animal is kept visible so that children can try to guess the animal’s identity and be surprised by the discovery.

The clean pages with minimal words in big font and the colourful pictures are sure to hold the attention of all preschoolers. Older children may read the text and practise various animal sounds.

Children, and even grown-ups, will love this cosy, simple and amusing book which stays fresh with passing years.

50 Parent Circle / June 2012

The Young Scientists series

Bot’s First Adventure

` 700 (Each level), Young Scientists, Singapore

BY MALINI SESHADRI

The Young Scientists is a science comic magazine with three levels catering to three age groups Level 1 (ages 5 - 8), Level 2 (ages 8 - 10) and Level 3 (9 - 13). Each year, 10 books for each level are published. The books have sections like ‘Everyday World’, ‘Friends of Nature’, ‘Our Wonderful Earth’ and ‘Science and Technology’, with almost every page having notable facts and vocabulary-building exercises.

Bot’s First Adventure is about a bottle named Bot. He is only a foot tall, is made of glass and wears a shiny red cap. He’s bored of sitting on Neil’s bedroom shelf forever and wants to see something ‘new’. He appears in Neil’s dream and tells him that he wants to go on an adventure. Neil buries Bot in the snow with a farewell: “I hope you have a grand adventure!”

Learning is made fun as everyday science topics are explained in a comic book format. For example, one of the Level 2 books has a chapter called ‘The Best Time to Buy Shoes’. The chapter tells the story of a character who buys shoes early in the day and later, finds it too tight. His teacher takes him to the same store in the evening and buys the right fit for him. The story has a simple message – the best time to buy shoes is in the evening after your feet have swollen to their maximum size! The colourful and conversational style of the comics will appeal to young children who can learn about science through science fiction, experiments, practice test papers and anecdotes. This is one science series that adults will enjoy, too!

`300, Helios Books

Bot surely has a long adventure.

The little bottle finds himself in many dangerous situations but has fortunate escapes each time. He manages to avoid being swallowed by a big fish, gets trapped between the branches of a tree and also gets stuck in the company of an octopus.

Children will never have a boring moment as they wonder - What new dangers will Bot face? Will he manage to escape again? Will Bot arrive safely at Neil’s house or is he going to get a new owner?

The book’s simple language and colourful illustrations will keep the little ones engaged as they plunge headlong into one adventure after another with Bot. The clever little verses scattered in the book are sure to amuse the children, who may enjoy memorising them.

MBA at 16 Shoot the Crow Danger by Moonlight

BY JAMILA GAVIN

`199, Walker Books Jamila Gavin’s Danger by Moonlight is based on the real story of a Venetian jeweller, Geronimo Veronese, who visited the court of Shah Jehan in the seventeenth century.

The story begins with the arrival of a mysterious stranger at the home of Veronese. The stranger tells Veronese’s children that their father has been captured

by Afghan bandits. Veronese’s 12-year-old younger son Filippo must now leave Venice and travel East to rescue his father. His mission is to pay the ransom with the family’s most precious jewel – the Ocean of the Moon diamond.

Filippo’s exciting and perilous journey, where he meets bandits and greedy Shahs, will keep the children hooked on to the tale. The pace of the story is fast, and young readers will get a flavour of the Mughal court of Shah Jehan. The question whether Filippo will ever get to meet his father will keep the children turning the pages of this adventurous thriller.

BY SUBROTO BAGCHI

`199, Penguin Books

BY NICO RAPOSO

`199, Penguin Books Just when Raj and his friends thought life was back to normal, Shoot the Crow takes them through another thrilling adventure. A well-known and talented actress Ameeta Soares is missing. To complicate matters, she is accused of a brutal murder.

Raj, Nagi and Madhuri decide to help solve the case. They look for clues and slowly see themselves entering Mumbai’s dangerous underworld. They try to find out who ‘Crow’ is and why he is bent on killing Ameeta. But there is a shadow making things difficult for them. Will they manage to rescue Ameeta and solve the conspiracy surrounding her? Will they find out the true identity of the shadow?

This entertaining detective story, a sequel to Shoot the Peacock, is sure to keep the preteens engrossed. As in the earlier book, the plot is exciting and wellplanned. Witty dialogues and humour make the book ideal for light reading. The Bollywood theme and the setting of the story in the underworld of Mumbai with detailed descriptions and good character studies ensure that your preteen has never a dull moment with this book.

MindTree founder Subroto Bagchi in this book explores the world of business with an interesting mix of 31 eager teenage boys and girls based in Bangalore. He takes a peek into the real world of today’s teens, spends months understanding them and their lifestyle and helps them see the world of business through his eyes. The book offers interesting anecdotes on Google, Cafe Coffee Day, and Steve Jobs’ Apple. Certain concepts like supply chain and human resource work in an organization are also explained so that teens get a glimpse of how companies work.

Teens are not just curious about the latest gadgets and hangouts; this book proves that they are curious about how ‘business, trade and industry’ work. The book also helps teens understand business terms, and processes like production cycle.

Bagchi also explains, in simple and lucid language, related ideas like the meaning of a social entrepreneur and what makes an entrepreneur tick. The book is good for teens wanting to do an MBA course, interested in getting into family business or becoming entrepreneurs in their own right. At the least, they will get to know about the corporate world.

www.parentcircle.in 51

parent express clothing, with thermals, to fight the severe winter.

8.05 am “Kanna, say your prayers and I’ll prepare your breakfast,” I say.

“Can I have scrambled eggs and fruit loops?” he asks.

BY NANDITHA PRABHU

I

t is Monday today. “What is so special,” you may ask. Just that it comes after Sunday. Sunday is the day I unwind; it is a day when I do not look at the time, a day when I walk past the kitchen counter without stopping to wipe it clean, a day when I sit down and sip my coffee without bending to pick up the toys....I root myself with a book I picked from the library....and even when the day ends, I am still hooked on to the book, late into the night. Turning the last page of the book, I glance at the clock only to see that I have already stepped into Monday.

6.30 am Monday My husband tickles my feet, trying to wake me up.

I manage to prise my heavy eye lids open. With blurred vision, I see him all ready for his office, and waving bye into my face. “It’s 6.30“, he whispers, trying not to awake the sleeping kids.

“Just 5 more minutes...” I mumble and snuggle inside the comforter.

7.45 am “Amma...Amma... I am hungry... give me mammam!” My younger son is awake. I see the clock and jump out of bed, trying to figure out what I need to do. I wash my face in haste and run to the kitchen, with my wailing son following me. I lift him up and hoist him on top of the kitchen counter, ransack the fridge, check the dosa batter and grab a few fruits in quick succession.

make baby dosas for the older boy’s lunch.

I rush to his room and try to wake him up from his deep slumber.

“Kanna, wake up dear, you will be late for school,” I beg.

“Amma, Amma...“ I hear screams from the kitchen...I run to find the younger one happily grinning at me. Sigh!

“I need to get down, and brush my teeth,” he says. I lift him and put him down. Then suddenly I see that he has bitten into all the dosas and has left only bits and pieces. No bread, no batter... now what do I do?

“Amma, he is spilling water on me”.

“Amma, he is splashing water all over the toilet...”

“Amma he is using the toothbrush to comb his hair...”

I rush to the toilet...pour out all my energy: “%$%$^&^&^**(*%^%^%^ &^&#@##%$%^...”

Things seem to calm down...

7.50 am I cut the fruits for my older

8.00 am My older one is in the shower. I haul the younger one into the kitchen with one hand and take wheat flour in the other. Whirring action...one chapathi ready...now three chapathi rolls are ready, complete with chutney for the older boy’s lunch box.

son’s snack box – but my younger one rapidly fills his belly with them. I give up. I grind chutney, and simultaneously

8.03 am I rush to my older son and dress him up. There are layers of

52 Parent Circle / June 2012

8.07 am “Amma, fruit loops, scrambled eggs... I want,” yells the younger one.

8.08 am They eat their breakfast. I don’t pause. I help the older boy put on his socks and boots, and wait with jacket, gloves, hat, all ready in my hand.

8.15 am I wave goodbye to him as the school bus leaves for school.

I know I have already lost enough calories for the day. I survey my messy kitchen, unmade bed, heaps of laundry and a play room where I would like to see a sign-board ‘Detour’ and I sit down. What comes to my mind is the picture of the fierce looking Goddess Durga, with numerous hands, the embodiment of power and acknowledge the ‘Mother’ of this world. I realize that I was like her a few minutes ago...how else could I have accomplished all this so soon? I think of my mother who had to rush to her job at 7.30, juggling housework and children on Monday mornings.

The words she often repeated, when I found fault or argued with her, now resonate in my ears, “You will understand only when you are a mother!”

NANDITHA PRABHU IS THE CO-FOUNDER, ‘MYTHRI’, CHENNAI PROMOTING ARTS AND CULTURE. Write to us on parenting experiences in 600 words, with the subject line ‘Parent Express’ to editorial@parentcircle.in or send them to PARENT CIRCLE, 3rd Floor Shri Renga Vihar, 8/14 First Cross St, Karpagam Gardens, Adyar, Chennai 600020, India.

your ideas

Veena and Kumar, young parents from Chennai, share their experience in dealing with their seven-year-old son:

WIN-WIN

E

very parent has his or her own parenting style, and every child has his or her own unique personality. Often, we have to explore different ways of handling challenges with our children – what works in one situation with one child may not work in the same situation with another child.

Similarly, what works one time with your child may not work the next time. We need to come up with fresh ways constantly.

We are introducing a new section in which parents like you share tips and ideas on how they have handled various issues with their own children. We hope these ideas will inspire you to devise creative strategies in resolving issues with your own children.

Issue: Every other day, our son would pester us to buy him a bag of chips. Also, he picked up bad words from other children in his school and started using them at home. In spite of us repeatedly reminding him that it was not acceptable to use bad language, both at home and outside, he continued to ignore us and kept using it. No amount of shouts and threats made him change his behaviour, nor did bribes and treats. We were at our wits’ end, worried that he would start saying these words in front of company, especially elders.

How we solved this: We decided to give him `50 as pocket money every week with the understanding that the money was completely his. He could use it to buy whatever he wanted - books, toys, chips or anything else. In addition, if he showed responsible behaviour or did well in his tests, we promised to give him some extra pocket money. We even got him a notebook to keep track of his money – how much he has earned, how much he has spent and how much he has left over. The only catch was that if we ever heard him use a bad word, we would take away some of his money, say `5 or `10.

This deal finally did the trick. Suddenly, he felt a sense of ownership and responsibility over his money. He researched the price of his favourite toys and kept track of how much more money he needed to buy these toys. He stopped pestering us for chips. His use of bad language also dropped drastically and now he has stopped using bad words.

This was a double win for us. Not only did we manage to eliminate undesirable behaviour, we were also able to teach him money management and account-keeping skills. He is also learning about the value of money and how to prioritize his needs. n We would like you to share with us ideas that have worked for you and your family so that other families can benefit from your experience. You can either write to us at 8/14, Sri Renga Vihar, 3rd floor, First Cross Street, Karpagam Gardens, Adyar, Chennai 600 020 or email us at editorial@ parentcircle.in. Alternatively, you can call us at 044 24461066/67/68 and share your experience with any member of our editorial team.

54 Parent Circle / June 2012

discussion point

How stringent should the dress code be for school children?

Should bindis, bangles, flowers and streaked hair be allowed? Why?

It is important to enforce school uniforms to maintain discipline and a certain level of decorum in schools.

However, I feel that certain things related to our culture should be allowed moderately. The reason for this being that our children will be able to remain in touch with our cultural values. For example, girls should be allowed to wear tiny studs and tiny bindis as long as they are not too flashy.

However, things like streaked hair, unruly hairstyles, dangling earrings and bracelets should be avoided as they spoil the look and also could interfere with certain activities at school.

Anees Mirza, mother of two boys

Schooldays are when we wear a uniform with pride as a mark of belonging to a particular school. Dress code came into practice to emphasize the equality of all students, irrespective of their socio-economic status. It helps when the teacher or co-students are not prejudiced against any student on the basis of his status. School is for learning and that can take place only when the student senses fair treatment from all. Hence, I feel that too much attention paid to dress disrupts learning. Students should stick to the bare essentials that promise convenience, comfort and safety to them.

Please send in your responses before July 15, 2012 to editorial@parentcircle.in with the subject line ‘Discussion Point’, or send them to PARENT CIRCLE, 3rd Floor, Shri Renga Vihar, 8/14 First Cross St, Karpagam Gardens, Adyar, Chennai 600020, India.

Malathi Rao, mother of a 15-year-old girl

Wearing bangles and sporting streaked hair may not be the right thing when children are growing up. To ensure equality among children, schools should have a uniform as schools are about imparting socially accepted values among children rather than developing a sense of fashion in them. Till the age of 15, a strict dress code is important.

Children can also be taught to wear neatly pressed clothes, keep their hair well cut, trim their nails, and wear their school badge. These will instil a great sense of pride in them. At college level, dress codes need not be mandatory. But at school level, a dress code is necessary.

Kalpana Rajiv, mother of a nine-yearold girl

Subhalakshmi Kanakavel, mother of a

Some schools give a list of preferred vendors from whom to source uniform accessories. For instance, they allow parents to buy shoes from Nike or Bata. These shoes vary in design and children in the same class wear different shoes. Not only does this disrupt the uniformity, the children wearing Bata shoes ask their parents to get them Nike shoes instead! It is better that the school removes such choices and insists on one brand. It should insist on uniformity of design so that children do not observe differences in styling.

four-year-old girl

Uma Shivashankar, mother of a seven-

D Senthil Kannan, father of two boys

How responsive are schools to parents’ complaints?

One of the reasons for having uniforms is to instil discipline and treat each student equally, irrespective of their financial background. Giving freedom to dress up will highlight the disparity as the attire will start drawing attention to a student’s financial background.

To avoid this and to let the children concentrate on learning, a uniform code remains indispensable. And with RTE coming into play, it is better that all students dress similarly.

Today’s children, who are as young as three years old, are able to take decisions on their own, right from their dress to their hairstyle. Allowing this small freedom gives them a lot of satisfaction. When we allow them to do what they want to do, they will get bored of dressing up and concentrate on school activities.

year-old girl

www.parentcircle.in 55

kaleidoscope

THE TEACHERS’ LAB FELLOWSHIPS

HAIKU MEDIA RELEASES VERNACULAR DVDs FOR CHILDREN

The Teachers’ Lab, an education and research initiative, has announced two Montessori Teaching fellowship programmes, one for preprimary and another for elementary levels. In the first year of the three-year fellowship programmes, candidates will undergo training in Chennai. The remaining two years will be spent teaching at a rural school. The training period includes a monthly stipend, while a competitive salary will be paid during the fellowship period. Selection will be based on a written test and an interview. The written test will assess a candidate’s verbal, logical-reasoning and analytical skills. The interview will assess a candidate’s knowledge about education and interest in working with children. English language proficiency is a must. The application deadline is June 10, 2012. For details, log on to http://theteacherslab.org.in/fellowship or contact 94444 49644, 98404 70878.

Haiku Media, creators of award winning 2D/3D animation DVDs for children, has just released new DVDs in vernacular languages like Tamil and Hindi. Children will enjoy watching these DVDs which are not only a source of entertainment, but also serve as valuable learning tools.

Some of the recently released titles include: a series of 3D animation features like Panshel (adventures of a group of pandas), Butterfly (anthology of animated folk songs and fables), and Pupi (stories about a science-loving puppy called Pupi) and a 2D animation DVD titled Shiva 2 that features the tales of Lord Shiva as narrated by a grandmother to her two grandchildren.

The Panshel series is priced at `149 for each DVD in the series, while the DVDs in the other series are priced at `129 each. The DVDs are ideal for children who wish to learn about culture and science in an entertaining way. Visit http://www. haikumedia.in/ for video samples and more information.

Launching a new product or service? List it in ‘Kaleidoscope’. Send in the information to editorial@parentcircle.in

56 Parent Circle / June 2012

SUMMER TOYS FROM FUNSKOOL SEMINAR ON POSITIVE PARENTING To help parents understand their children better, Dr Raj Mohan of Bodhi Organizational & People Development Consultants will be conducting a seminar on positive parenting on June 3, 2012.

The seminar will cover topics like ‘Knowing children is different from understanding children’, ‘Disciplining style’, ‘What is your parenting style?’ and ‘Adolescent Zone and its Magic’. Interested participants can also register for a parenting workshop during the seminar.

Date: June 3, 2012 Fee: The entry fee per participant is `100, while for couples it is `150. Registration begins at 9:30 am.

Time: 10:00 am -12:00 pm Venue: Bodhi Organizational & People Development Consultants Pvt Ltd., A-20, T.V.K. Industrial Estate Guindy, Chennai-600032 Phone: 044 - 22501448 / 22501449 Website: www.bodhi.co.in

Funskool India has launched exciting toys this summer across categories like Play-Doh, Creatives, and Puzzles. Play-Doh Wallet lets children make pretend money. Funskool is also launching Indian Wonders Puzzle – a series of puzzles based on Indian wild animals. This range has three exciting 150-piece puzzles made of special quality paper.

They are priced from `149 onwards.

Under the Creatives section, Pretty Flowers allows children to make flowers in three colours.

My Lil’ Dino is a moving and grooving pull-along dino, priced at `749.