Blessings
Dear Nalina,
I am very happy that you are bringing out a new magazine dedicated to the topic of parenting. I think this kind of magazine has been due for a long time. I recognize in your decision a certain grace manifesting. Parenting is one subject matter which had never received the attention it deserves. It was generally imbibed from the elders in the family, without being taught, and also from one’s own instincts and common sense. In this competitive society, when children do not have time to spend with their parents, due to early schooling and varieties of avocations advocated, one can question whether there is any abiding bonding between children and parents. Therefore there should be a conscious effort to make sure that there is this bonding that keeps away a sense of alienation on the part of children in the early years of helplessness. I’m sure you have, in your panel of contributors, experts in this subject matter to discuss healthy parenting. Grasp of various forms of the culture and religion of the parents is found to be very important for a child to have self-esteem. I am glad to see that you are going to have some pages to discuss culture. My prayers and best wishes for the successful launch of this magazine. This is one gift which is twice-blessed, in as much as this would be a blessing for the parents as well as the children. With best wishes and love. Yours,
Dayananda www.parentcircle.in
1
EDITORIAL
For the Parent in You
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Know Understand Connect
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W
elcome to the inaugural issue of Parent Circle, a magazine just for the parents of Chennai, a first of its kind in India. I am happy to launch this magazine with the blessings of Pujya Swamiji.
When this parenting magazine was just a seed of an idea, I tried to envision its mission. What would be the purpose of this magazine? The answer was clear: To bring together the local parenting community and to empower parents by providing them with the information and knowledge required to make the best decisions for their families. Globalization, exposure and changing lifestyles have given rise to a new set of challenges for the Indian Parent. Recognising this, we bring you well-researched articles and contributions by experts and other parents, so that you, the parent, can make informed decisions for your family.
Publisher & Editor-in-Chief Nalina Ramalakshmi Managing Editor Nitya Varadarajan
This magazine is not meant to be a solution for all your parenting issues. However, it will help you to occasionally stop and take a fresh look at your children and yourself as a parent.
Associate Editor Gemmarie Venkataramani
Parent Circle is a magazine built around the all-round development of the child and it clearly addresses the physical, emotional, intellectual and social needs of the child.
Creative Head Rangashree Srinivas
We feature regular articles on education, health, technology, socio-environment responsibilities, our culture and heritage, and humour in parenting. We endeavour to give you a healthy mix of content and resource.
Creative Designer G Swarupa
We as parents are constantly trying to walk the fine line when it comes to parenting: When do we say ‘yes’, when do we say ‘no’? How much freedom is too much? Our cover story, “Parenting as a Balancing Act” explores these questions further. Check out our Summer Special feature for ideas to keep your children relaxed and entertained for the holidays. We have dedicated space for you to express yourselves in this magazine and we welcome your views, opinions and suggestions. Please send your feedback and letters to editorial@parentcircle.in. In celebration of May 8th as Mother’s Day, children have written special letters to their mothers. I join hands with the children in wishing the millions and millions of good mothers a “Happy Mother’s Day”, and keep in mind this quotation from Jill Churchill of O Magazine : “The most important thing she’d learned over the years was that there was no way to be a perfect mother and a million ways to be a good one”.
Graphic Designer M Ravisankar Sales Team R Balakrishnan S Visalam V Rajesh Babu Administration Sheeja Sasindran Published by Nalina Ramalakshmi Director, Shri Harini Media Pvt. Ltd. (A Ramco Group Associate) 8/14, First Cross Street, Karpagam Gardens, Adyar, Chennai 600020 Printed by R Dhayalan, Sun Graphics, 51, Gangai Amman Koil Street, Vadapalani, Chennai 600026 To advertise in this magazine call 044 24461066/67/68
Nalina Ramalakshmi Editor-in-Chief
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Parent Circle / May 2011
Parent Circle is published by Nalina Ramalakshmi, Shri Harini Media Pvt. Ltd. All editorial material including editorial comments, opinions and statement of facts appearing in this publication, represent the views of its respective authors and does not necessarily carry the endorsement of the publishers. Information carried in Parent Circle is gathered from sources considered to be reliable, but the accuracy of all information cannot be guaranteed. The publication of any advertisements or listings is not to be construed as an endorsement of the product or service offered.
CONTENTS COVER STORY
10 Parenting A balancing act
An exploration of how parents walk the fine line when making choices for their children
REGULARS
8 16
Summer Times 32
Ideas to keep your children engaged and relaxed during the summer holidays while building parent-child bonding
Mother’s Day 14
Endearing letters from children to their mothers
The Mixed Bag of Parenting 13 A mother’s viewpoint
FOCUS
International Family Day World Tobacco Day
MINDSET Importance of de-stressing your child
18
SPECIALS
FEATURE
Capturing precious moments perfectly!
24
A guide to photographing your child
LEARNING Fuelling an urge to learn in children Science is Fun
22
TEEN CIRCLE Career Choices - Walk beside your child
26 38
RESOURCES
CLASSIFIEDS
35
HEALTH CIRCLE
CHECK IT OUT
48
Your child’s health - ages and stages
PARENT CHEF
50
CHENNAI THIS MONTH
52
HANDS ON A Collage of activities
40
DESTINATIONS Summer Vacation - Where to go. What to do.
42
TECH TALK Ages and Stages of Internet Surfing
44
CIRCLE OF LIFE
FORUM
PARENT EXPRESS DISCUSSION POINT LIGHTER VEIN
6 53 56
Bring back Biodiversity in Chennai
46
ROOTS Let us look back to where we came from
4
Parent Circle / May 2011
Cover Photo: Shalin Jain. www.shalin.in
PARENT EXPRESS
To work or T to work O N
After a few months of being a full-time mom, she realised that she needed more time to herself. ‘I never expected to feel this way and sometimes I do not enjoy being a mom,’ she admits honestly. Not willing to reconcile these conflicting thoughts and feelings, she quietly went back to work. Radhika felt that she could spend quality time and bond better with her child after work and on weekends. I know of mothers who are happy to stay at home with their kids, give up a few years of their career, confident that they can return once the child starts regular school. Some want to work for a couple of years and then be at home for their children.
Nina Mukherjee
I
t is daunting to be a parent. It is true that we experience a lot of pure joy but it also completely changes our lives. This is true for women especially. Oddly enough, a woman's commitment to her family is questioned if she starts working. This adds to the new mother’s dilemma. Should she ignore convention, conditioning and return to work or stay at home? It is not an easy decision. All the time, I have heard working women declare that they will return to work ‘the day their maternity leave ends’. When the Dday arrives to return to work and pick up the threads of their career, the guilt of leaving their little baby in the care of maids, relatives or a day care centre weighs heavily on them. It takes a few weeks for the mother to shrug off that feeling. I also find that some stay-at-home moms are a dissatisfied lot. When they introduce themselves, they miserably mumble that they were working ‘before’ the baby. It seems like it was in another lifetime. Or,
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Parent Circle / May 2011
A lucky few do move into parttime or flexible roles within their organisations. They are able to balance both sides easily – enjoying motherhood while keeping in touch with work life. Many IT companies, some progressive financial services and FMCG firms offer flexible work options to women. The pay may not be the same but it is still worth it.
In a true sense, every mother is a ‘working’ mom at home or otherwise. some of my friends resort to a dispirited, ‘Just at home since...’ I do hear the desperation and panic in their voices. Am I the only one who can hear it? Their spouses and close family members seem oblivious to it! A recent study at a US university found that stay-at-home and working mothers feel frustrated, depressed and hopeless. The working moms were just 5 per cent less depressed than stay-at-home moms. So, the grass is not green for either camp it seems. Apart from the money, I believe that women need to work to improve their selfesteem. They need the intellectual stimulation; at a deeper level, they want to find the purpose of life. My friend Radhika had always felt that she would be a perfect stay-at-home mom because she had a nurturing side to her.
Moms like me who wish to return to work, may have to consider some practical issues. There has to be family support (parents or in-laws) close by. Then one can hire a nanny and let the parents oversee them. My own friend Priya dropped the nanny and her baby at her parents’ home daily before going to work. I left my little boy with my mother when I went for a short writing course abroad. Grandparents are the next best replacement to parents. In a true sense, every mother is a ‘working’ mom at home or otherwise. She has to know what suits her personality, assess the ground realities and move in that direction without guilt. n Nina Mukherjee is a Parent Contributor.
Share your experience/views in 650 words or less with the subject line ‘Parent Express’ to editorial@ parentcircle.in or send them to PARENT CIRCLE, 3rd Floor Shri Renga Vihar, 8/14 First Cross St, Karpagam Gardens, Adyar, Chennai 600020, India.
FOCUS
International
Day of the Family M
ay 15th is celebrated as the International Day of the Family as instituted by the United Nations General Assembly in 1993. This year the theme is focused on ‘Confronting Family Poverty’, a subject pertinent to our country.
oped by the Oxford Poverty and Human Development Initiative for the United Nations Development Programmes, about 645 million people (55% of India’s population) are poor. The study is based on composite indicators made up of ten markers of education, health and standard of living achievement levels.
Poverty is a major issue in India as rural Indians depend solely on incomes from unpredictable agriculture while urban Indians rely on jobs that are becoming more and more difficult to find.
Acute poverty prevails among 421 million Indians in the states of Bihar, Chhattisgarh, Jharkhand, Madhya Pradesh, Orissa, Rajasthan, Uttar Pradesh, and West Bengal. n
According to the Multi-Dimensional Poverty Index (MPI) devel-
World
No Tobacco Day
“
Prayer, constantly being surrounded by work and friends helped me quit my addiction of many years.”
Susai Raja, social worker
W
orld No Tobacco Day on May 31 draws attention to the health problems that tobacco use can cause. Here are a few reckoners provided by Prema Kondraivendhan, psychologist, Research Centre for Tobacco Control, Adyar Cancer Institute, Chennai for smokers keen to kick the nicotine habit. Which stage are you? First recognise the stage you are in. Smokers usually experience five stages before they give up smoking for good: the idea stage, contemplation, preparation, action and relapse. (Most visit the research centre in the preparation stage.) The first few days are predictably the toughest. Chennai social worker Susai Raja (30 years) who was smoking 4 packs of cigarettes a day, finally quit his addiction of many years in 2008. Prayer, constantly being surrounded by work, friends, and following Prema’s suggestions kept him from the cancer stick especially in the first three days.
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Parent Circle / May 2011
Prema’s tips to help prevent relapse:
• • • • • •
Drink lots of water to lower the nicotine levels
Exercise daily
Adopt the thought-stomping method which is nothing but consciously stubbing out thoughts of cigarettes
Relaxation and breathing exercises
Eat plenty of carrots (antioxidants which reduce craving) and cucumbers if you are diabetic Pick up a new hobby. Susai Raja started a collection of old coins, as an example Nicotine replacement therapies such as chewing gum and nicotine patches are good alternatives and have high quit rates. Electronic cigarettes, which are battery operated tube-like devices emitting non-nicotine vapourised solutions, are also available. n
Your children are not your children They are the sons and daughters of Life’s longing for itself. They come through you but not from you, And though they are with you, yet they belong not to you. You may give them your love but not your thoughts. For they have their own thoughts. You may house their bodies but not their souls, For their souls dwell in the house of tomorrow, which you cannot visit, not even in your dreams. You may strive to be like them, but seek not to make them like you. For life goes not backward nor tarries with yesterday. You are the bows from which your children as living arrows are sent forth. The archer sees the mark upon the path of the infinite, and He bends you with His might that His arrows may go swift and far. Let your bending in the archer’s hand be for gladness; For even as he loves the arrow that flies, so He loves also the bow that is stable.
Khalil Gibran
www.parentcircle.in
9
Parenting Parents are continuously struggling with questions on where they should draw the line when making choices for their children. Parent Circle meets parents, counsellors and child development experts to understand how this can be done.
S
eventeen-year-old Karun was keen on attending his friend’s late night party at a farmhouse on the ECR.
His mother Sudha was uneasy and worried . “I knew there would be drinking and no adult supervision in the party. I did not want to disappoint my son either,” she confesses. Sudha was torn between wanting to give her son freedom and her deep concern for his safety. She expressed her fears to her son and did not allow him to attend the party. Her friend, Benita did send her teenage daughter to the same party in a car with a driver with the rider that she should return if anything got out of control. Each parent handled the situation differently. Neither parent was right or wrong. Yet they tussled with the same issue: How
10 Parent Circle / May 2011
a balancing act
Photos: Shefalii Dadabhoy
COVER STORY
Kavitha Shanmugam
much freedom should be given to children? Sometimes, parents debate - Am I turning into a Tiger Mom (too strict) curbing my child’s sense of self ? Or, am I giving in too much? When do I stop hovering around my children like a ‘helicopter’, let them explore their own lives and make their own mistakes? Take the case of a book editor and former teacher Indira Jayakrishnan who walks a fine line disciplining her single child, Aditya (13 years). She resisted buying him a portable game console (PS 3) for a year, as she felt that such a toy did not merit ‘ridiculous’ investments. “I wondered whether I was too harsh with Aditya; he was under tremendous peer pressure’’, she says. The Jayakrishnans finally relented after his good performance in the final exams.
Dilemmas like how to prevent overeating of chocolates by a five-year-old or when a pre-teen daughter should be sent for sleepovers, exist perennially. Says Usha Venkatesh, mother of a teenager, “One may have to decide whether or not to allow a 12-year-old to open a Facebook account. A rational approach for the parent is to become her child’s friend on Facebook and keep a watchful eye without restricting her freedom to explore.” Counsellors, child developmental experts and parents admit that there is no formula to this balancing act. Each case is situational and each child has to be handled differently. Some broad guidelines exist however. Impose limits: To start with, the parents of today who want to be ‘liked’ by their children should stop feeling guilty about
Parenting with a balanced approach Balancing a busy schedule and teaching the toddler to eat on his own It is less work to feed the child yourself than clear the mess or worry about him not eating enough. You could start him off with finger foods and get the child to explore and eat by himself on weekends and evenings.
Parent’s measured response to an indifferent academic performance Ask the child, “I know you are not happy with your marks, can you figure out the reason why you are not happy? Maybe you could try doing your studies differently.”
Handling a three-year-old’s tantrums
imposing ‘limits’ or boundaries: “Children need limits because it makes them feel better and secure when they live within a certain structure,” points out American developmental psychologist Laurence Steinberg in a published interview. City family counsellor Brinda Jayaraman endorses this view. “Parents need to clearly express to their children the extent of freedom they wish to give them, why they are doing so and the consequences if the line is crossed. That is a balanced approach.” It is not something you can accomplish overnight in a dictatorial manner. Brinda speaks of a Chennai teenager Mina and her mother who came to her for counselling after the communication between them had completely broken down. Mina used to spend hours chatting on Facebook even as her anxious mother tried to ferret out what was happening. Mina was chatting with a male classmate on Facebook and ended up sending him intimate short messages from her phone. Her mother stumbled on this, cut off her access to the computer and phone. Mina was warned of dire consequences if she continued to talk to the boy. The frustrated girl withdrew and secluded herself. Mother and daughter came to Brinda for counselling. In a few sessions, Brinda explained to Mina that she had to respect her parents’ belief systems. The downside of an infatuation was laid out threadbare. Her freedom was removed because she had misused it and now she had to
Parent to the child: “I am sorry but I cannot buy you this toy since I bought you one last week.” Go to the next room and ignore the child’s attention-grabbing tantrums. He will stop crying and beg. Be firm, do not relent. He realises that crying has not achieved anything, and goes off to draw or play. The balanced parent never raises her or his voice.
Controlling screen time If your child is always watching TV or playing PSP, you could ensure that he gets the PSP only on weekends when he does not have exams. Television viewing should be regulated to an hour a day and measured hours on weekends after completion of homework.
Handling teenager’s requests for sleepovers at a friend’s place If you are not keen on this, explain that each family has its own value systems. “I would love to send you for sleepovers but that is not possible as we live by certain beliefs. I will not interfere with your beliefs once you are on your own”.
Handling teenagers staying out late at night Teenagers need to be accessible by phone when they are out at night. If they resent the control, explain: “If something happened to you, I will be blissfully asleep and not be able to help. I just want you to be safe”. rebuild her parents’ trust. The mother was also made to understand that she had overreacted. Natural hormonal changes in teenagers could trigger such situations. After all, the daughter had obeyed her mother and not met the boy. This was reason enough for the mother to return her daughter’s freedom to her. Give reasons for the limits: The mistake the mother made was to fly off the handle, without trying to meet her daughter halfway. Brinda Jayaraman says “Parents fail to patiently explain the logical outcome of their children’s actions to them.” Empower children: Children should be made responsible for their actions and learn to think for themselves from an early age,” she adds. However, parents treat children like porcelain china, do not let go,
and end up frustrated when children do not toe their line. For example, a child should be made to face the outcome of not completing his homework instead of having a concerned mother nagging him all the way. “He will learn once he is chastened a couple of times at school,” advises Brinda. Indira gives an example of letting go. Her son recently pestered her to allow him to cycle down to his friend’s house in the neighbourhood. He had to cross two crowded traffic signals and she was understandably anxious. He was stubborn and she allowed him. Indira reasoned with her husband that the boy had to learn from his own experience. She says, “ My heart was in my mouth till he returned.” The episode ended well with
www.parentcircle.in 11
responsibilities,” suggests Brinda. Even at age two, a child can be taught to keep his toys and shoes in place, once the fun is over. Adults would find it easy to reason with children habituated to thinking and questioning within. In turn, parents should hear out their children. “Never pass a judgement or a scathing remark when children are arguing with you. You know things are going wrong when your voice is rising and your child is in the defensive,” says Indira. Battles need to be chosen: Parents have to give way when an issue does not have serious ramifications. “Sometimes my son will dress up in worn-out jeans and a drab shirt for a wedding but I don’t create a fuss”, says Indira, who knows when to let go.
the son confessing that the traffic had petrified him. He would be extremely cautious taking that road again! Promote independent thinking: Aruna Raghavan, a respected child educationist believes that a balanced approach to parenting involves questioning the child gently and helping him reason for himself what he should or should not have done. She gives the example of how to handle a 12-year-old butting into a serious conversation between three adults. “Make the child understand that he has broken into a serious train of thought. Point out the effect of his thoughtless behaviour. Question him and help him arrive at the inappropriateness of his behaviour,” advises Aruna. “Children are smart and can think for themselves, even if they are kindergarteners,’’ she says. Once, when two such children were fighting with each other, Aruna told them to resolve their own battles. They did. “As adults, we tend to undermine their capability,” she says. “A child can become an independent thinker when he is given age appropriate
12 Parent Circle / May 2011
She got rid of her son’s habit of thumb sucking when he was a baby, by explaining the consequences. “I would explain at night in bed that if he continued to suck his thumb, the spit would make it twisted and ugly. Would he like an ugly shaped thumb forever?” Soon after, he stopped it. Parenting role: Another important aspect of balanced parenting is to make sure you do not lose yourself in your role as a parent.
Dr S Anandalakshmy,
advisor on child development and education and author of books on children provides pointers on balanced parenting.
Listen to your child. When the child asks for your attention, instead of brushing her aside with ‘give me a minute’, spend that minute listening to the child. Look at things from the child’s perspective. A friendly approach is more balanced than an instructional one.
Admit to your child. Once in a while admit to your child that you goofed up.
Do not harp on the child’s weaknesses. Instead praise her for what she is good at, maybe her painting.
Do not lay down the rules. You are
Usha points out, “A child has to see you beyond parenthood.’’ You need to nurture your intellectual side and your relationships with other people. “If the child believes that the sun shines only on him, he may turn out to be an attention seeker all his life,’’ she warns.
but a custodian of the child. Respect the inner person within her. Negotiate and make her understand that she gets freedom with responsibility.
Sometimes working parents end up neglecting their children altogether leading to severe repercussions. Again, spouses need to share parenting responsibilities, even if one is not working.
Make the rules clear to the child by explaining why they are there.
The cardinal rule is never to contradict your spouse when he or she is disciplining the child. Often, diametrically opposite parenting styles, like a strict father and a lenient mother may also balance it out for the child. However balanced you might be as a parent, you fail if you do not walk the talk. “You cannot berate your child for not
Common sense helps. For example, ensure the child gets enough sleep.
Be consistent in your parenting.
The bottomline is unconditional love. reading if you do not read yourself,” says Aruna. Often parents harp on scholastic achievements and forget to enjoy their children. “The need of the child before us blurs. Children are not lumps of clay to be moulded; they are highly intelligent and sensitive beings. Treat them like that,” advises Aruna. That’s true isn’t it? n
SPECIAL
The mixed bag of
PARENTING A sob
I
have only one question to my mother and I urge all mothers to ask the same question to their respective mothers please. The question is this - “Why didn’t you tell me that having children and rearing them would be a task akin to separating husk from grain even while your head is thrust inside a potter’s wheel which is turning at a speed of 120 rpm?” I am so dizzy with all this parenting paraphernalia. Frankly, I feel like a farmer, potter and blacksmith rolled into one - speaking metaphorically I mean. We have to ‘sow’ the seeds of good habits, ‘shape’ their character and ‘mould’ them into worthy people. Heh - as a writer and with my literature background, I suppose I am only equipped to write horror stories on my attempts at being ‘farmer, potter, blacksmith’ and the remaining blah. Really, why DIDN’T my mother tell me? It is what I call the conspiracy of the mothers worldwide to conceal the hard facts and reveal only the mushier bits to their sons and daughters. But why blame the mothers, we too have our blinkers on stubbornly and don’t see things for what they are. Haven’t we all watched Johnson and Johnson’s ads? And what do we do? We coo at the baby on TV and say ki-kiki, ku-ku-ku and jiji-jiji-jiji. For godsake,
the ad is about NAPPY CHANGING, but which potential parent sees it? We only ogle at the kid and throw up prayers skywards beseeching for a child that will look just like an ‘Amul or Johnson’s baby’. Reality comes and bites your rear only after you find yourself lifting both feet of your child 20 times a day to change that ever wet nappy. Now where did the father go? He is not even here to read this article on nappy changing.
Jaya Madhavan and assessed the situation in less than a minute. He immediately sat down next to me, put my head on his lap and began to vigorously rub some balm onto it. My little daughter not to be left behind sped to fetch me some tea made with her kitchen set. “Here drink this,” she said proffering invisible tea in a very green cup, the size of my thumb. I hugged them both tight. Believe me, I really became alright with that tea and my son’s healing touch.
A smile Initial hysteria over and two glasses of cool lemonade hence, I can muster just the amount of objectivity to state that children are indeed eligible be categorized as “wealth” (selvam) under eight types of wealth scheme (the Ashta Lakshmis). No better time to understand this valuable truth than during illnesses. I was down with severe body ache and pms. My mood was swinging and I really felt like clawing the furniture. It was time for my children to return from school and I had made no tiffin. My heart sank when I heard the bell ring. I would have to get up and fix something for the kids. My son came in
blink s J&J n r e ers y o a wealth s pr ld happy u l f o u a m mood swings Amdaughter ther? mother nappy responsible mushy
and a tip! Resist the urge to say “I told you so” to your kids.n
Jaya Madhavan is a poet and an award winning children’s novelist.
www.parentcircle.in 13
, son
ears ,7y
Simran Avinas
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Gemmarie Venkataramani
MOTHER’S DAY SPECIAL
ughter of Kapi
he is a mother, first and foremost. She could be a young woman of great charm, she could be a thoughtful wife, a proficient professional, a good friend and a compassionate human being. Yet motherhood is the most important rite that nature has destined for her. Once her baby is born, the woman’s focus moves to motherhood, her routine changes, even as life changes for ever. “I have forgotten what it was like before the children came,’’ says Shubha Rajagopalan wryly. The wife of a high ranking air force officer, and a mother for 12 years, she cheerfully admits that her house has become a home. Visits to beauty parlours are traded for paediatrician’s appointments. The after-work outings with friends are swapped with chats with other mothers at the park. Weekend jaunts are replaced by a trip to the zoo or a birthday party. The mother also has to instill values in her children. The trade-offs are many, but the joy of motherhood can never be explained through words or expressions. A simple hug and a sincere smile from her children is enough to erase the pain and exhaustion of hard work. A scribbled note from her child to say how much she means to him is adequate to keep her loving him unconditionally.
la
Motherhood is another name of devotion. The selfless love and devotion towards the infant or child are grown from the seeds of innocence; no cunning, scheming, selfish motives here. Prof. Gunvantbhai Shah, well-known Laureate and Educationist
14 Parent Circle / May 2011
It is the privilege of a mother to bring up her children, to help them develop their distinctive gifts, physical and mental, ethical and spiritual. Matru-devo bhava - treat your mother as a goddess - is the injunction of the scriptures.
Nikita
r, 14 kuma
Anil
Earlan J
, years
osh Sab
dau
illano, 9
ar
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ini An
of M ghter
years, s o
Dr S Radhakrishnan (Former President of India) Extracts from the book ‘Great Women of India’ (Advaita Ashrama, Himalayas)
n of Rho
na Sabil
lano
Zoe S
iddha
rth, 1
2 yea
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Happy Mother’s Day! Asma Ashraf, 8 years, daughter of Azra Ashraf
www.parentcircle.in 15
MINDSET
A simple guide to de-stress your child Padma Srinath
P
eople believe that stress happens only to adults. There is surprise and disbelief in general, when we (educators) recognise or suggest that children too can suffer from stress. Some parents then either over-react or shrug it off as a passing phase. Stress can occur due to many reasons. It could be due to the daily environmental factors such as traffic noise, crowding, pollution or the result of an unexpected demand made on the child. Each case is unique but one thing is for sure, stress is harmful for a child’s well being.
Here are some ways to de-stress your child
Picking out signs of stress
{ Talk to resource persons before rushing
First, watch out for lingering symptoms. Is the child consistently avoiding a certain situation? Is he frequently falling ill, complaining, seeking attention, sleeping poorly or experiencing nightmares? A visible sign of stress would be a drop in the child’s immunity. Another indicator would be when a child resists going to a place like school or avoids a particular subject like math.
off in agitation to a professional. Anger seldom allows you to listen.
Watch out for simple fibs, changes in food habits, and an inability to engage in meaningful learning. If your child is consistently irritable and complains too often that other children do not like him, stress is the culprit.
{ Be empathetic and gentle on the child. Talk to him about your own experiences. When you relate to him with the heart and not with dogma or dictated expectations, he will open up.
{ Stress is a response to a gap in knowledge. If skill sets or information is provided, he would feel less stressed.
{ Make plenty of suggestions. This will make the problem look addressable. Give support, but do not become overbearing.
{ Relaxing exercises, an outing, or a game would help.
{ Doing things together gives the child the confidence to share his views and anxieties. This is the biggest stress buster.
{ Your child is being exposed to his world with your support. Make the home a happy place where he is celebrated and included. Involve him in decision-making. This will give him self-assurance. It is at home that the child inadvertently learns the skills required to face the challenges of the world. n Padma Srinath is the Early Childhood Coordinator in the American International School, Chennai.
16 Parent Circle / May 2011
Parent Circle provides a few more tips { Help children develop problem-solving skills when they are in school. Act out stressful school situations with your child through various role plays. This will make the child understand what the others are going through and teach him different ways of handling the situation. { Muscle-relaxation exercises calm children. Make the child sit in a chair or lie down, and tell him to tighten his fist and arm muscles. Let him open his hands, wiggle and relax his fingers. Let it go limp. This should be similarly followed up with the rest of his body, including face, legs and feet. Muscles loosen when periodically tightened and released.
{ Visualisation techniques during times of stress can calm children. It just involves changing the child’s focus from the stress of the moment to a different, pleasant and peaceful situation. Re-focussing of energy can happen by closing the eyes and trying to visualise such pleasant scenes in great detail. For example, one could be in a football field or visualise a horse and his very nice tail or even try to spell a name backwards. { Reflective listening is another tactic. It involves rephrasing your child’s comments to show him that you have understood what he has said. For example, your child might say, “Mom, when I have to do my math test,
I feel sick.” And you could say to him, “So, do you get butterflies in your stomach?” By reflecting back on what was said, you have shown him that you are really listening, and that it matters what he feels, no matter what that feeling is. { Such listening in turn, encourages children to attach words to feelings. Verbalising feelings is important, as children cease to be overwhelmed by them. { ‘This too will pass’ is something you can teach your child. She should realise that bad times come and go. She might feel low one day and better the next. Remember to tell her, “I am glad that today is a better day.” Children then learn that stressful feelings do not last forever. n
Praising a child, how much is too much?
T
he next time you tell your child that she is smart or that you are proud of her, think again. Experts believe that too much praise may harm your child. Recent studies in the USA reveal that you might be missing the bull’s eye if you keep praising a child in a generalised fashion. Praise needs to be specific, descriptive and concrete. “You did a great job putting your toys back on the shelves” or if a child completes a hard puzzle, you might say, “I like the way you kept trying to get the pieces in the right place.” It is the effort that has to be picked up and stoked, not the achievement. One of the negatives against excessive praise is that it makes a child underachieve. A Jalaludeen, a special educator in Chennai points out, “A child will not go beyond the praise and improve his performance. He believes that he has already maximised it.” How should you praise your child? “Always highlight the effort and the enjoyment the child acquires from an activity. The quality of the activity will invariably
Kavitha Shanmugam
A checklist for parents General praise: You are smart!
take care of itself,” replies this special educator. Statements like ‘I can see how hard you are working on it’ or ‘You will learn to like it with time’ will result in stretching a child’s capacity and effort, he advises. Too much praise in childhood can turn a child into an attention seeker in his later years, says city counsellor Sumathi Chandrasekaran. They grow up seeking praise and forever evaluate themselves on the approval of others. “Parents may believe that praise is all about encouragement and painting positive strokes, but they are unconsciously applying pressure on their children”, she says. Pause before you utter the word ‘perfect’ to your child the next time! n
Specific praise: You did a good job of reading. I can see how hard you worked on this sentence. Your idea was unique, how did you get that? General: You are so athletically gifted! Specific: That shot at the end of the game was amazing. I saw how patiently you waited your turn on the bench. General: You did a great job in math! (the child is being evaluated or labelled) Specific: I liked the way you practised your sums even when it got harder. General: I am proud of you! Specific: You went back to check your work. That extra step was a great idea.
www.parentcircle.in 17
LEARNING
FUELLING THE URGE TO LEARN
Learning becomes easy and fun when you create an interest in your child to question something. Sriram Naganathan
If you agree with that view of the legendary science fiction writer Arthur C Clarke, it is not difficult to look at the converse side: for any meaningful learning to happen, you need to first make it the child’s need. For most children, ‘learning’ happens mainly in schools. Is it then possible to create a need for the child to learn in a classroom setting? Consider the kind of tightrope walking today’s teacher is expected to perform in the classroom: The teacher should know how to get the students to learn together despite differences in their intellectual capabilities, economic and social backgrounds, all of which impact what they can learn outside the classroom. She should be capable of discerning the ‘uniqueness’ of each child. At the same time, she should reach out to the entire class where each child has a unique set of learning abilities. As any
18 Parent Circle / May 2011
teacher would tell you, this is an impossible task. Children now have unprecedented learning opportunities, thanks to the Internet, television and books. An ocean of knowledge surrounds them and facts and views are instantly available. No longer is the teacher required for imparting ‘knowledge’. Often, both are on the same boat. There is another reason. For a child, learning how the world around her works is an integrated process. In the schoolbased learning model, the learning experience has to be necessarily broken into ‘subjects’, ‘chapters’, ‘periods’, etc., peppered with tests to decide if the child has been successful in learning different subjects. In fact, barriers between subjects are imaginary and not real. That is why Venkatraman Ramakrishnan studied physics, did most of his research in biology and won the Nobel Prize for chemistry.
“
Learning happens when it becomes a child’s need. And children will learn, no matter what, if they really want to learn something. You simply cannot stop them.’’
interests and his competencies.
To get to know his interests, ask yourself questions like these: What makes him happy and feel good? What are his favourite things? What is it that he talks about a lot? To get to know his competencies, ask yourself questions like these: What is he good at doing? What does the child like to do a lot? What gets the child to try out new things? Once you have a broad idea of your child’s interests and competencies, wait for the right moment to initiate your child into a theme or topic.
Yes, you can.
For example, when you are waiting at the traffic signal in your car, ask yourself aloud why many old people bend a little forward with hands folded behind while crossing the road. The idea is to get your child sitting next to you to observe the pedestrians and ask you ‘why’.
You have to first figure out your child’s
If you know enough physics, you could
Given that it is difficult to effect a drastic change in the school system, can you as a parent, help your child learn the natural way?
How can you explain
gravity to your child?
Senior citizens tend to lean forward while crossing the road, holding their hands behind for balance. Why? When you sit or stand, the centre of gravity of your body is stationary, providing stability. When you walk, the centre of gravity is constantly being adjusted. We all know that objects become stable when the centre of gravity is lowered. That is why senior citizens spontaneously lean forward to lower their centre of gravity to avoid losing their balance. Folding the hands behind their backs lends more support to their body frames, keeping them on their feet.
start explaining the idea of gravity in a child-friendly way (see box). Else, you could become a fellow traveller for your child and together with her figure out from resources on the Internet or elsewhere that gravity is at play here. You could then deal with images of army commandos crawling on wooden planks over gorges instead of walking or running; young kids skating; a bus taking a tilted turn on a curved mountain path; and expand your child’s interest in gravity. Will this not attract the child a little better than offering a dry definition of gravity and then explaining the same with examples from a text book?
Similarly, if your child were to ask you why the sky is blue during the day and black at nights, that is a great entry point to discuss distances between the sun, moon and the earth, the presence of dust particles in the atmosphere, why colours are visible only when there is light, etc. If your child were to ask you why hill stations are colder than plains despite being closer to the Sun, it opens immense possibilities to discuss topics such as atmosphere, pressure, temperature, etc. A note of caution: do not jump to answer your child’s question, just because you know the answer. Nor suggest ‘googling’ straightaway. A better option is to be a fellow traveller, inquire further, refine the question perhaps in a manipulative way. If the child were to ask you whether a plant would grow under tubelight and without sunlight, why not allow for an experiment
The
Power
of Hidden
Agenda “Are you sure?” This question is a great weapon when you want your child to revise facts, passages, sums for the sake of better retention. Suppose you want your child to check the product of a multiplication table. Instead of asking her, go over it yourself. Pretend as if you got a different answer and ask, “Are you sure of your answer? I think it is incorrect”. Your little one will go over it again, most likely with intensity and focus and then chide you for misleading her! That is fine. You can use this simple yet powerful weapon across subjects.
for a week or two at home (in an otherwise dark room with only a tubelight) instead of looking for an instant answer? That way, both of you might discover many other properties of the plant. Resisting the temptation for instant gratification is a good habit not just in financial planning but in learning too. When lead by his needs, the child’s learning process is many times more meaningful and coherent. It does away with unlearning and relearning the same lessons later in life, and several possible ‘Aha, I have it got correct this time’ moments. With need-based learning, the knowledge imbibed is there to stay. n
www
FUN LEARNING LINKS
Parents can also check out: www.science.howstuffworks.com www.kids-science-experiments. com www.kidsites.com Videos Bill Nye Science Guy’s youtube videos for witty and fun filled science concepts
“Don’t read page 4” If you want your child to read an important passage in page 4, instruct in the opposite direction. “Read anything you want in this chapter, except page number 4, which has a secret that I want to keep from you for now”. Rest assured that your child would turn to page 4 first, and read the content with a lot of attention.
“Say the next preposition” Reading the same story can be incredibly boring for any child. You may want the child to go over it again, for some valid reason. Why not create a game? Here is an example: Get your child to call aloud one preposition (or some other grammar element) in the story and alternate by calling the next. The loser is the one who has no more prepositions to say. In all the three examples, you would see that the child is being made to review or go over a text or sum, without being told to do so. The child does not know that you have a hidden agenda! Sriram Naganathan is the Founder of Ignite Minds, an education sector start-up and a resource person at The School, KFI.
www.parentcircle.in 19
! FUN SCIENCE EXPERIMENTS
It is summer time! School books have been set aside and bags hidden from sight. School is temporarily forgotten. The children are ready to play and enjoy the holidays. Their minds, free of school pressures are ready to explore. They marvel at the world around them and they want answers. At home or outside, children’s natural inquisitiveness propel them to investigate the how’s and why’s of the things around us. The book ‘Simple Tasks Great Concepts’ brought out by the Ecoscience Research Foundation (ERF) Chennai, in partnership with the Department of Science and Technology, creates in them the need and willingness to learn science. The subject is made enjoyable through 100 experiments explained simply. These can be performed in the backyard or balconies of homes or even inside rooms. Says Dr. Sultan Ahmed Ismail, Managing Director, ERF, “Learning science can be captivating, exciting, stimulating, absorbing and interesting”. Materials prescribed are commonly available resources such as empty plastic bottles, discarded cartons, used papers and other waste materials. The book aims at popularising the understanding of life sciences among all school students. The experiments can be found online at http://simpletasksgreatconcepts.wordpress.com. Some experiments are illustrated below:
This is an exercise with reference to health and hygiene and to make children realise the importance of washing their hands with soap and water.
CLEAN HANDS
Materials required: Soap, water and some plain sheets of white paper.
1
2
Place hands on paper
Ask the child after playing in sand or soil to wash her hands in plain water and place her wet hands on a white sheet of paper, press hard and lift them. Make the child observe the untidy marks left on the paper by her hand.
3
Wash hands
Now ask the child to wash her hands with soap and water.
Place washed hands
Ask the child to place her wet hands on a white sheet of paper, press hard and lift them. Make the child observe the clean marks left on the paper by her hand.
Child placing wet hands on paper
SECRET MESSAGES
1
Prepare lemon juice
Clean marks
Untidy marks left on paper
Child placing wet hands on paper
2
How would you like to send secret messages to your friend? Use an invisible ink. Here’s how you do it.
3
Write on paper
Write ‘Science is fun’ with it on a white paper.
COUNT YOUR PULSE
Dry the paper
After drying, the paper remains a white sheet.
4
Now show the paper on a candle flame
The letter become visible. This is due to charring of sugar in lemon juice.
It is interesting to count your pulse. Here is a simple mechanism by which you can see and count your pulse.
Materials required: Paper cut into a triangular piece.
1
Fold paper
Fold the triangular piece of paper in a zigzag way. It will have a small platform to rest and the other pointed end directed slightly upwards.
20 Parent Circle / May 2011
2
Place on wrist
Locate the pulse on your wrist with thumb and place the folded paper piece exactly on that spot. You can see the movement of the pointed end, up and down. Count the number of times it moves, it indicates the pulse rate.
3
Compare
Run around for about a minute and count the pulse rate. Compare with the normal and tabulate. Normal count Pulse per minute
Count after running Pulse per minute
TEEN CIRCLE
Career Choices
Walk beside your child How parents can make it easier for children to make their all important subject and career choices
T
wo years ago, Shloka Narayanan, a tenth grader was confused about her career path. Though her school and the career counselling test results had pointed her towards engineering, she seemed more inclined towards arts or commerce. She knew that if she took science, she would have little time for any other activity. When she was in tears over her indecisiveness, her mother stepped in and sent her to a skilled career counsellor in Chennai. The counsellor cleared Shloka’s mind, made her see that she might have an aptitude for science but that her interest, personality and motivation lay in the commerce stream. Shloka was lucky that her mother, a school counsellor herself, directed her to another career counsellor, instead of being the arbiter. Shloka is like any typical teenager in Chennai, all mixed up about choosing a career path. Beyond medicine, engineering and IT, children are being bombarded today with professions like TV presenters, wildlife specialists, archaeologists, fitness trainers, artists, organic farm entrepreneurs, celebrity chefs etc. To compound the situation, children are also greatly influenced by their peer group.
22 Parent Circle / May 2011
Parents can lay out the pros and cons of their children’s choices. Take the case of a Chennai teenager, who chose to major in psychology as her friends were opting for it. Her mother, who wanted her to pursue a professional course, did not want to thrust her choices on her daughter. A few months later, the teenager who was unhappy with her choice blamed her mother for not pressurising her to take up medicine! If you are not the type to foist your own die-hard views and frustrated ambitions on your children, then what is your role as a parent in this crucial phase of a teenager’s life? “Parents have a tough time during this period,” says Priya Ramesh, student counsellor, Lady Andal School. “Even as parents have to ensure that the child should make and ‘own’ the final decision about his future and career, they cannot merely be third party observers.” The parents’ stand should be a supportive
Kavitha Shanmugam
one. They should avoid pushing their aspirations onto a child. “They must listen to their child’s wants, provide them with relevant resources, then lay out the pros and cons of their probable choices. The child is hardly equipped to make a career decision at 16,” advises Priya, now four years into career guidance counselling. The internet, libraries, educationists and professional career counsellors are good guides for information on careers. Some parents also turn to relatives in the academic field for help. Teenager Narayanan Mohan was confused whether he should opt for pure sciences or take science with a math and computer science combination after his 10th grade. He wanted to do medicine but what if he changed his mind after the 12th? His mother Shobita Mohan tried to help by laying out the consequences of his choices in front of him. Shobita says, “I told him what he could expect if he studied medicine or if he did arts, since he was keen on writing a novel,” she says. Finally, Shobita called a relative who is a school principal and got his advice on the matter. “When parents find it difficult to make a decision for the child, how much harder will it be for the child,’’ she says. She says that parents
should talk to educationists and get their views. Narayanan decided to stick to the basic sciences and review career choices two years later. Counsellors advise parents not to wait till the eleventh hour to guide their children. Suggests Priya, “At an early age, parents should initiate curiosity in a child about different professions. Talk about a friend’s job or a neighbour’s. Trigger their curiosity by asking them what they think the neighbour might have done in college.” You could ask questions like ‘How do you think your neighbour became a manager or an accountant? How did a popular face like Barkha Dutt become a TV journalist?’ “If a child wants to become a doctor, ask him the reason. He may reply that he likes biology and plants. A parent should then fill up the gaps in the child’s knowledge about a doctor’s field of study,” says Priya. Sometimes a child may excel and Narayanan Mohan & his mother Shobita Narayanan
have an aptitude for many things. He may on the other hand, not have an aptitude for a particular subject but passion and motivation could drive him to it. Just measuring a child’s aptitude is not enough. Personality, interest, and motivation have to be given equal consideration. “Motivation backed by interest is crucial, as interest by itself can vary with time and with peer pressure,’’ Priya says. Making a career choice is not a complex affair if children are used to making decisions from an early age. Points out Mohana Narayanan, psychological counsellor, “Children should be given age related responsibilities from childhood. At 16, you suddenly cannot expect a child to make a life-changing decision, he will be lost.” A sense of self-worth in the child also helps him make the right choices. Mohana points out, “When does your child doubt? It happens when a parent is constantly critical”. According to her, every child is born with a healthy self-esteem but this lessens when he is continuously hammered with negative instructions. Parents need to criticise in a healthy manner and let children learn from their own mistakes. Radhika M, a Chennai student was keen to do something in wildlife and chose science after school. Her
Shloka Narayanan & her mother Mohana Narayanan mother, a computer graphics designer, knew that her daughter was skilled in art and was making a mistake. Predictably, midway through her science course, Radhika admitted her mistake and begged her mother to enroll her into a visual communication course. Today Radhika is completing an art restoration course with a museum in New Delhi and is all set to intern with art restorers. Says Mohana, “It is ok if children make mistakes the first time, they will fall and learn. Parents have to be supportive and not be judgmental.’’ Children will tend to jump, examine different options and even move from one interest to another. Give them the space and the freedom to explore. It will work out all right in the end, say experts.
Counsellor Arundhati Swamy provides a few guidelines to parents on helping their teenagers make career choices
Parents should encourage children to talk about careers
If the child remains confused about his career choices,
at an early age. Thus, when faced with choosing a career, they are not overwhelmed.
try out good aptitude tests that include personality and motivation aspects. Such tests may help, but the child should ultimately listen to his gut feel.
A
parent needs to help the child make a decision by listening, providing information, and opening him up to different opportunities.
Help
children discover their strengths and challenge their abilities.
Personality
profiling is important in a career-profiling test for long term satisfaction in a job.
Opt for a test with subjective questions that would dig out hidden dimensions in a child’s personality.
www.parentcircle.in 23
FEATURE
Capturing PRECIOUS moments PERFECTLY! Shefalii Dadabhoy
H
ow fast children grow! One minute your child is a baby, in the next she is running around. In a flash, she is going to school. Before you know it, you are attending her graduation ceremony. So many memories, so many milestones achieved and not many good pictures clicked to reminisce those moments. Every parent should know how to photograph her child. A few basic rules
will help you take good pictures of your child through her years of growing up. Be patient and anticipate the picture. First and foremost do not feel rushed. Just relax and get totally involved when photographing small children, go with their mood sense and action. Remember that children are high energy bundles. They are very active and not always
willing to listen to instructions on how to pose. Capture them doing their favourite activities and many of these photos will come out naturally. They will show your children in their own world. When various emotions and moods are captured, you get a set of precious memories that you can look at over and over again. By observing your child’s activities over
This is a picture of my daughter taken when she had just started walking. My daughter like most children, loves animals especially dogs. She loves to get close to them either kneeling down or going on all fours. This picture was taken in one such episode while she was figuring out whether to crawl or walk. To me this is a perfect picture of her mood at that stage in her life.
24 Parent Circle / May 2011
Watch the foreground and background. Remember that child photography is not about the background, the patterns on the wall or the beautiful foliage. Unless you have a valid reason, avoid cluttered foregrounds and backgrounds of your children while photographing them. Visual background clutter will detract attention from the main picture. Choose angles where the background behind your child is clean. If there is clutter, just zoom in closer to her and you will avoid the clutter in your composition. Remember your main aim is to capture your child’s expression or activity and not the surroundings.
This picture was taken as the baby was playing with her quilt. All I did was to distract her so that she looked in the direction of the window while I captured the sparkle in her eyes.
Every picture tells a story. I hope the tips outlined above help you remember stories of your children. It is not always about the perfect picture. It is more about the joy one gets in capturing certain moments in their lives that one would otherwise completely forget. Ask me - I am a photoholic mom, who clicks her child everyday and has thousands of pictures of her baby. My daughter has been in front of the camera from the minute she popped out of my tummy and I think she believes that the camera is an extension of my face. Just take LOTS and LOTS of pictures. Preserve the photos; life moves fast. Take some physical prints of those timeless moments. An album may be old-fashioned, but it brings its own joys. Your children will grow up - but for you, they will remain your little ones etched forever in visible memories. n The author is a children’s photographer running her own enterprise, Purple Frog Photography. www.purplefrog.co.in
time, you will have an idea as to which situation will lead to that particular moment that you wish to capture. By anticipating the situation, you will be able to time the perfect shot. Get down to their eye level. When we shoot pictures from a higher level it shows our perspective of their world. When you get down to their level you get to capture the world as viewed by children. So, don’t be shy to get down on your knees or tummy to get that perfect picture. Often, I am on my tummy on the floor trying to get the best shot. Focus on those beautiful expressive eyes. This is a must. If the eyes are not in focus, when you look at the picture, you will feel that something is missing. You need to get reflections of light in your child’s eye to make them sparkle. When shooting outdoors, the rule is to position yourself so that your child is in the shade looking towards the light. If you are shooting indoors, use windows as a source of light. Try and position your baby facing the window.
This picture is a perfect example of what not to do when trying to capture your child’s mood/emotion. In picture 1 there are too many colours distracting our attention from her face and the yellow panel behind the little girl’s head looks like an antennae on her head. The same shot with a closer composition gives you a better picture of her mood.
www.parentcircle.in 25
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SUBSCRIPTION FORM
HEALTH CIRCLE
Dr Meena Thiagarajan
teens 13 - 18 YEARS
health diary Psychological issues
Adult onset of Diabetes is on the rise in teenagers due to obesity and lack of exercise. There is increased substance abuse among all classes of society. Teenagers seem to be suffering from RSI (Repetitive Stress Injury) due to playing video games, constant net surfing, and the burden of their school bags.
BLOOD PRESSU
RE
Blood pressu re should be checked annu ally.
Parents need to watch for signs of anorexia nervosa* & bulimia ** with teenage children. Stress of board examinations takes a toll on them.
EYE CH
Parents need to be aware that sexual precocity exists among teenage kids.
E
lar vis CKUP month its every s ix st refrac o pick up tive e rrors.
Regu
Peer pressure in schools results in high expectations on the home front when it comes to state-of-art mobile phones and clothes.
YGIENE
DENTAL H
and ice a day Brush tw edtime. floss at b
Suicide is the third leading cause of death in teenagers. Adults should be able to see and act upon tell - tale signs of depression; not merely pass it off as teenage behaviour.
AGE 13+ years
* An inability to maintain a minimum healthy body weight due to extreme fear of gaining weight . ** Eating disorder leading to over-eating and deliberate purging.
HPV (Human Papilloma virus to prevent cervical cancer) vaccines for girls, if not given earlier. 3 doses (0,1 & 6 months)
14 years
Typhoid vaccines once in three years
15 - 16 years
Tetanus booster
VACCINES
www.parentcircle.in 27
babies
0 - 2 YEARS
health diary Developmental screening, vaccinations
New born babies have to get these done: Eye check for cataracts Hearing test – S/o Acoustic Emission Heart check Hip examination Blood tests for certain inherited conditions wherever possible. The Indian Academy of Paediatrics recommends that all babies be exclusively breast fed till 6 months of age. A weaning diet can be started subsequently, while breast feeding should continue upto 18 months, even 2 years.
Regular height, weight and head circumference measurements taken till age 2 usually tied-in with vaccination visits Vaccination visits to the Doctor would also entail a brief developmental screening and advice on nutrition and hygiene. Oral polio drops during the ‘pulse polio’ programme organised by the Government of India has to be given to all children till 5 years of age irrespective of the polio drops given by your Doctor.
GIENE. Y H L DENTA g of gums
lain agin Mass eeth with p y t g d in a a Brush ush twice br first tooth r the e t f a soon ars. appe tooth
MILESTONES
AGE
VACCINES
Birth
BCG OPV0 Hepatitis B1 OPV1 / OPV1 /1PV DTwP1 / DTaP1 Hib1* Hepatitis B2 Pneumococcal conjugate Vaccine1 Rotavirus
6 weeks (1 ½ months)
10 weeks
14 weeks
6months 9 months 15 months to 18 months
DTWP/DTaP2 OPV2/ OPV2 + 1 PV2 Hib2 Pneumococcal conjugate Vaccine2 Rotavirus Vaccine2 OPV3/OPV3 + 1 PV3 DTwP3 or DTaP3 Hib3 Hepatitis B3 Pneumococcal conjugate Vaccine3 Hepatitis B3 Measles MMR (Mumps, measles, rubella or German measles) Pneumococcal conjugate Booster Hib Booster DwP/DTaP Booster1 OPV/OPV + IPV Booster1 Chicken Pox Vaccine
*Hib is to prevent influenza and meningitis. Optional Vaccines 1. Pneumococcal (to prevent certain types of pneumonia, meningitis, middle ear infections) 2. Rotavirus vaccine (to prevent infectious diarrhoea)
3 months
6 - 9 months
1 year
18 months
Head control Eye fixes and follows Responds to hearing Recognises mother and gives sociable smiles
Rolls over back to front & front to back Crawls Grasps with palms Transfers objects from hand to hand and mouths them Responds to ‘name’ call Babbles
Walks anytime between 1 year to 18 months Picks up small objects with thumb and finger Clasps hands and waves ‘bye bye’
Climbs stairs Fine pincer grasp Stacking 3 bricks Obeys simple commands Can speak 6 - 10 words
28 Parent Circle / May 2011
pre-schooler 2 - 5 YEARS
health diary Screening, vaccinations
Children are sent to playschools and kindergarten. Parents need to be prepared to face frequent allergies like coughs, colds and diarrhoea in them. Good eating habits need to be inculcated both at school and at home. Oral polio drops during ‘Pulse Polio’ drive need to be given till the age of 5 irrespective of the polio drops given during visits to your Doctor.
AGE
VACCINES
2 years
Typhoid (To be given every
DENTAL H
3 years) 2 years 1 month
Hepatitis A1
2 years 7 months
Hepatitis A2
4.5 - 5 years
OPV Booster2
E
ALTH Children should bru sh their teeth twice a d a y with a flu oride toothpas te. Regular v isits to the Denti st every 6 months.
UP HECKlm C oloE Y E phtha
to O the after Visits y ll a u nn gist a f 4. age o
BLOO
D
PRES BP to SURE be m e nuall y afte asured a n r the age o f 3.
DTwP/ DTaP Booster2 Typhoid MMR Booster
2 years
3 years
4 years
5 years
Runs Kicks ball Can stack tower of 6 -7 bricks Points to parts of body Strings words together Mainly dry by night
Pulls toy while talking Walks up and down stairs Can draw a cross Points to objects or pictures when named Begins to sort by colour and shapes Enjoys company of other children Demonstrates increasing independence
Climbs up and down stairs with alternating feet Pedals tricycle Draws a circle Uses 4 – 5 word sentences Completes 3 – 4 piece puzzles Imitates adults & playmates
Expresses affection & emotion Hops and stands on one foot Throws ball over head Copies square Begins to copy capital letters Tells stories Understands concept of counting Dresses & Undresses Often cannot distinguish between fantasy and reality
www.parentcircle.in 29
junior
6 - 12 YEARS
health diary Pubertal changes
Childhood obesity is on the rise globally. Children need their weight and height recorded and have their BMI (Body Mass Index) calculated. Awareness about healthy eating, avoidance of junk foods and need for outdoor sporting activities has to be stressed both in school and at home. Regular visits to the dentist. Some chewing gums are bad for your children’s teeth, particularly the ones that have sugar in them. Children should be made aware of bodily functions and pubertal changes.
um, chewing g e k li n re d il If ch free get sugar ylitol. w um ith X chewing g ur teeth. ood for yo Xylitol is g ing other chew There are teners have swee gums that neither ol that are it rb o S e k li teeth. ad for the b r o n d o o g d by
Children should also be aware of the possibilities of physical abuse and the concept of ‘good touch’ and ‘bad touch’.
EYE CH
AGE
VACCINES
8 & 11 years
Typhoid booster ( every 3
E
lar vis CKUP month its every s ix s to p ick up refrac tive e rrors
Regu
Contribute ja, 10years Keshav Ra
years) 10 years
Tetanus Booster
11 - 12 years
HPV (Human Papilloma Virus to prevent cervical cancer) Vaccine for girls. 3 doses (0, 1 & 6 months)
Dr Meena Thiagarajan is a Consultant Paediatrician & Neonatologist at Apollo Children’s Hospitals.
DEN
Reg
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r vi EAL de sits t TH Bru shin ntists o the g te e a d th tw ice ay ula
E SURe S E PR don
OD oring BLOP Monit nually B
an
SPECIAL
Summer Times Rangashree Srinivas
Today the joint family system has broken down and invariably both parents in a nuclear family work full time. We have to plan interesting and creative activities for our children during the holidays to make it a meaningful and enjoyable time for them. Here are some simple suggestions.
Unorganised play Unorganised play allows children to be creative. They learn to occupy themselves with whatever is available. To wean children away from the electronic screens (TV, computer, game consoles, cell phones) which often kills the imagination, we have to create an environment that kindles their curiosity.
32 Parent Circle / May 2011
You could provide your children with dress-up clothes, a box of coloured chalk, a wall painted with slate where the child can scribble without limits, a mound of river clay that can be bought from the roadside potter, a box of paints and crayons, a roll of newsprint, big brushes, old pots and pans, fun and interesting books to read... Let them loose and enjoy whatever they come up with! Our motto for them should be ‘Be free. Explore. Enjoy!’
Visit Grandma Make it a point to visit one interesting, nearly forgotten relative every weekend. It maybe your own or your spouse’s parents, or even a distant relative with a lifestyle quite different from yours. Srinivas Chari of Shenoy Nagar, the father of a 14 year old, once took his daughter to visit an elderly distant relative. There was a cow in her house. “My daughter was delighted! She spent a few hours feeding the cow bananas and petting her”, he says. Visiting relatives is a great way of bonding with the extended family, getting to know peers and learning about our roots.
Home projects Children can pursue their interests through several home projects that can be done with minimal fuss. For instance, if your child likes to eat or cook, get him to make his favourite dish or what he imagines will be delicious. Let him experiment. Just make sure he is safe by avoiding unsupervised use of the cooking range or knives. For instance, Karunya (15 years) from Neelankarai has taken to baking and concocting interesting floats and fizzes. She does it all by herself and is happy to invite friends and relatives to sample her treats. “This activity kept her occupied through most of last summer and she has picked up quite a few cooking skills in the process”, says her homemaker mother Jyotsna Srinivasan. If your child is interested in art, supply him with a variety of paper and art material. If possible allow large canvases such as a roll of news print, a wall space, a portion of the driveway or even a tree trunk. Encourage him to splash colour and play with textures. Large canvases allow for
Photos: Shefalii Dadabhoy
M
any of us parents will remember our summer holidays filled with long lazy afternoons in the company of cousins and neighbours - climbing trees, playing house and street cricket unmindful of the glaring sun and heat. If we, for some reason were not part of an extended joint family, we visited our grandparents, formed a gala gathering and played anyway.
more freedom in exploring colour. If your child likes to read and would like to go beyond this, encourage her to come up with interesting projects. She can perhaps, compile a small book of her own reviews, research background information about the author and other books by him. If she likes to write, buy her a fancy notebook and ask her to jot down her everyday thoughts. She could even write poems or doodle in the book. Ask her to embellish the book cover with sequins, sketches or anything she likes. You could encourage your child to plant the seeds of coriander, mint and curry leaves in a container/pot and grow his own mini herb garden on the balcony. Get him to research the requirements for healthy plant growth from books or the Internet or even a local gardener.
Neighbourhood communities Children like peer company. If there is no spontaneous play group in your neighbourhood, this is what you can do to bring together a group of children to spend time together in summer and beyond: If someone you know has special skills like storytelling, origami and aero modelling, invite your neighbourhood children over to join your child for an evening session. Start a game of home cricket or shuttle badminton with your teenager a few days a week or over the weekend. Invite neighbourhood children to make teams and play with you. Ask the children to turn in their artwork and organise a clothes pin art gallery on someone’s terrace. Help the children stage a play. Let them come up with their own story, script and direction. Just be there to guide them and offer simple props when they ask. Ask them to stage a play for the neighbours. Choose a good children’s film and screen it on your home theatre. Invite the children over for a popcorn and movie afternoon. Find an expert and take the children to a neighbourhood park for a ‘Tree walk’.
Involve other parents Initially some parents are ‘too busy’ to get involved. Once they find their children enthused, they willingly join in the effort. It is also an opportunity for adults to share their skills and socialise.
Cyber space The computer and internet play a very significant role for teens and pre teens. Even in this space there are several enriching activities to pursue. Writing a blog. Get your child to maintain an online journal as a blog. She can record her daily thoughts and reactions to events. She can post art and even include her favourite music. Chennai based school girls, 15 year old Sheeba Samuel
(www.shebasamuel.blogspot.com) and 13 year old Saniya Surana (www.aspireblog.wordpress.com) are student reporters of YOCee, a community based website for school children. Saniya was labelled as a shy person by her mother. The founder of YOCee Revathi Ram, advised Saniya to start a blog. Says Revathi, “Today she follows every story she writes with an experienced journalist’s zeal”. Start an Egroup. If your child likes networking and keeping in touch with people, ask her to initiate a family egroup. Several email service providers like yahoo and google offer free group memberships. Extended family members can be invited to join these groups and communicate with each other. Your child can manage the
group and post interesting questions and anecdotes from time to time.
Travel Summer vacations imply holiday travel, a time when parents and children can relax and bond better without the routines and constraints of everyday life. A relatively unstructured and a slow paced holiday is best for calming the mind and body after a hectic academic year. Instead of packing the trip with sightseeing and shopping schedules, weave it around the child’s preferences. Even if it means just a lazy weekend in a beach resort, swimming and playing cards! Several kinds of holidays are possible near Chennai like trekking trips,
www.parentcircle.in 33
What summer camps should offer • If the organiser is offering several camps, make sure there are not too many disparate activities. A camp with focus works best. Even here, in a music camp for example, find a music workshop that focuses on a particular element like rhythm or choral singing. • Check out the facilities and employees. Does the trainer have a good reputation and related experience? For example, a nature trail resource should have considerable experience in the field. • Look for value. In a storytelling camp, check if the teller is adding any value to her fare like music, movement or interaction. • Make sure that sessions in a sports camp are not oversubscribed, and that the facilities and coaches are satisfactory. • Age-wise grouping is preferable in a camp. If kindergarteners and pre-teens are thrown together, the facilitator will have difficulty in engaging them simultaneously and children would get bored. n beach resorts, heritage spots, wildlife tours and adventure places. More details in our Destinations section (page 40). Entertainment Children’s film festivals, theatre performances, puppet shows, music concerts, book readings, storytelling sessions, sporting events and several other children oriented events are happening all the time. Look out for listings in local publications, radio FM channels and the internet. Summer Camps Organised Summer Camps are very popular, covering a range of interests like theatre, creative writing, sports and art. Keep these points in mind before you send your child to one:
Kms from home: To avoid a logistical nightmare, find a centre offering summer camps close to the home. There should be a family person responsible for the child’s coming and going. Research: Spend enough time scanning neighbourhood newspapers, the Internet and talking to people to shortlist summer camps in the area of your child’s interest. Make an unannounced trip to the centre and quietly check it out. Satisfaction factors: It is best if the person at the centre is the owner or an equally empowered person for the ‘personal involvement’ factor. Look for earlier work results from a camp. Ensure it has a child friendly ambience, hygiene, safety systems and restroom facilities. Is the staff
Safety at camps Though camps are an easy engagement resource for children during the holidays, sexual abuse within is a disturbing reality. Vidya Reddy and Nancy Thomas of Tulir, a Chennai based NGO working towards the prevention and healing of child sexual abuse cases strongly vouch for this, based on the reports they have received. Such places they emphasise, are like a beacon to potential abusers because of the easy access to children. The offenders could be clowns in parties, coaches in sports camps and the like. Typically children do not know how to handle abuse and come under pressure. Parents, even if they believe that their child was victimised, fear the stigma and keep quiet. Summer camps and workshops in the city still come under the unorganised sector, without a uniform system of verifying the credentials of the adults handling the children - resource persons, volunteers or support staff. As a precaution, parents have to double check camp credentials and resources and teach children to be wary. Tulir suggests some cardinal rules for parents and organisers of summer camps.
34 Parent Circle / May 2011
friendly and forthcoming? Zero in. Finalise a camp taking these factors into consideration – content of camp, reputation of organisers, ambience, proximity to home and pricing. Do not merely go for fancy places at fancy prices. Outdoor camps Chennai is abuzz with outdoor camp organisers taking groups of children for outof-city camping trips, hiking, adventure sports, nature trails and volunteering activities. There are some special interest nonprofit groups such as the Madras Naturalists Society, Dakshin Chitra and Ecologin organising good camps. Children learn to be self-reliant, confident and empathetic after participating in such camps. n
For parents: • Ask for a ‘Child Protection Policy’ statement from the camp organisers. • Educate your child about inappropriate behaviour. • Tell your child that you believe in him and will take his feelings of unease seriously. • Encourage your child to report abuse and you in turn report to the appropriate authority. Ignoring abuse will only encourage it more. • Tell your child not to share personal information with any adult they meet in the camp. Tell them to direct such requests to you. • Tell your child not to take inappropriate pictures with their cameras or mobile phones even for a dare. For camp organisers: • Draft a ‘Child Protection Policy’ immediately. Have proper channels for reporting and redressal. Have a proper system for managing allegations. Neglected instances of abuse could escalate into a major explosive issue. • Check out the credentials of your resource persons, volunteers and support staff. Be wary of those who say they are here because ‘they love children’. • Make them read, sign and comply with your guidelines on ‘Code of Conduct’. For more information go to www.tulir.org.
CLASSIFIEDS
Summer GENERAL Dakshin Chitra near MGM Dizee World has residential camps for children (`2000) April 30-May 1 and again from May 7-8. For adults May 7 8 training in glass jewellery (`1000); May 14-15 Natural Dyes (`2000) ; May 21-25 Rajasthan Miniatures (`3000); May 21-28 Studio Pottery (`3000). From April 14, weekend family outing - `200 for adults, `100 for children. Includes entrance fee, 2 hands - on activities and 4 games. For registration call 24462435, 24918943. Chinna Chinna Aasai. Ecologin and Ignite Minds is organising 5 day summer camps (non-residential) for school students in Chennai April 25-29 and May 16-20; (9am to 5pm) for Class-5 to Class-7 students. Residential camps in Thirukkazhukundram May 2-6; Nagapattinam May 8-13; Pulicat May 23 -27 for Class 8-9 children. Camps will identify and fine tune innate creative talents for creative expression, and understand/appreciate nature and society. For registration call 97890 92440. Hansel and Gretel at 11 Jagadambal Street T Nagar is organising summer camps each lasting 2 weeks, from March through August 31 everyday 10 am-1 pm. For age 3-7 storytime, sing-along, drama, puzzles, drawing, painting, craft, games. For ages 8 years & above creative writing, drama, chess, art & craft,
puzzles, games, music and other activities. Early bird discounts available. Call 28152549 or 98404 31549 for details. Kalaamanjari 6/12 First Street Venus Colony, Alwarpet offers programmes from March 21 - 22 in MAD – POGO; Brain Train 6 in 1 Maths programme, Global art workshop, Personality development, Western Dance, Chess, Keyboard, Guitar, Handwriting, English. Call 98402 25570, 98404 21305 for registrations. Thejomaya is having an Art Festival from March 20-May 15. For 3-15 year olds, Craft Mela March 20-May 7. Dance Festival-May 2. From April 26: Robot Festival; Starters, Foundation and Advanced course in English; Tamil; French; Math and Science; Educative workshop with hands on experiments on concepts of math and science; Kitchen Chemistry; Rocket making; Biodiversity; Ecology Planning. For registration call 45535518/ 93813 29450 Vanilla Cafe 89, Bishop Garden, Greenways Road, R A Puram. Batch 1: April 18-29, Time 10.30 am-12.30 pm , Age 3-5 / 6-10. Folk Dances, Art and Craft, Costumes, Games, Cooking, Language. Special: The Kids create their own storybook with themselves as characters in it. Batch 2: May 2-13, Age 3-5 years / 6-10 years, 10 am -12.30 pm. Price Rs 3000. O.M.O. (On My Own) – Carpentry, Pottery, Art and
Camps Craft, Self Defense, Storytelling, Creative Movement. Rs 3000. Contact: 99400 12785, 97899 06146 42066660. Kanchana Paati at Perungudi, Anna Nagar, Mugappair, Kilpauk, Adyar, T Nagar, Velachery, Ashok Nagar, Nungambakkam for age group 4-16 years: Camps April 18-May 6; May 9-27; May 23-June 10 on Western Dance, Fun Yoga, Arts and Crafts, aerobics, Cursive Writing, Calligraphy, Chess, Voice Training, outdoor and Indoor games, Kids Kitchen. Special workshops for youngsters on theatre and electronic design. Call 97909 10970/ 20970/ 30970. School of Success has programmes for ages 3-12 years on Make your own story book, I love Reading, Heritage India, Fashion Designing, Block Printing, Photography, Circus Acrobats, Weaving, Indian Crafts, Dance and movements, No Flame cooking, Movie Making, Field Trips. At Tambaram, Velachery, R A Puram, Nandanam, Teynampet, Mahalingapuram, Chetpet. Call 97899 06146 Dynaworld , T Nagar from AprilMay, for 3-6 years, Drawing and painting, Storigami classes, Carnatic Vocal, Spoken English, Phonetics and Story telling classes. Call 97910 96234 The Children’s Club (96.V.M. Street) Mylapore, will conduct a 40-day camp from April 14 at the Club in cricket (8-13 yrs); table tennis (7-15yrs); Chess (5-15yrs). Drawing and painting classes will be held from
May 1-31 for age group (5 -15 yrs). Lectures on aeronautics and chemistry will be conducted for Plus Two students at the IIT from May 8-June 4. For details, contact 28474140 on weekdays between 10 am and 4 pm. Summer Skills at P.N. Dhawan Adarsh Vidyalaya Matriculation Higher Secondary School, Royapettah and Anna Adarsh Matriculation Higher Secondary School, Anna Nagar between 9.30 am-12.30 am will conduct summer work shop for children in the age group 3-15 years from April 15-May 16. (15 day option is also available). Programmes in Spoken English, Personality development, Yoga, Western dance, Art & craft, Story telling, Sing – along, Handwriting, Communication skills, Karate and Origami. For registration contact 90031 33900 / 98400 35935. Santhana conducts summer classes on yoga, pranayama, handwriting, dance, spoken English and character formation. For details contact: 98405 89722. Ideal Play Abacus conducts summer classes on Handwriting, Creative art India, learning box Vedic Maths for the age group 4-15 yrs. For details, contact; Tambaram East/West – 98402 74831. Chitlapakkam/ Nagappa Nagar – 98843 11371. For your classified advertisements contact us at PARENT CIRCLE, 3rd Floor Shri Renga Vihar, 8/14 First Cross St, Karpagam Gardens, Adyar, Chennai 600020, India. Ph. no. 24461066/67/68. Email: advertise@parentcircle.in.
www.parentcircle.in 35
Summer Camps at Kala Netrii at Virugambakkam For age group upto 7 yrs: Drawing & Painting, Yoga, Chess, Etiquettes & Good Habits, Story Telling, Math Concepts, Slokas, Sing along, Stoveless cookery, Games. For seniors: Chess, Yoga, Western Dance, Drawing & Painting, Arts & Crafts, Slokas, Puppetry show, Maths magic, Science Experiments, Games (throw ball, carrom, tennikoit etc.), Vegetable carving, Soap carving, Mehendi, Candle making, Hindi, Jewellery making, Embroidery. 12+ years: Unique Craft Courses for different age groups. Robotics & Aero Modelling Workshops Venue: AV. Meiyappan Matriculation Hr Sec School, Virugambakkam. For details call : 98402 23811 / 93805 45423. Camp at Shiksha Pre school 10, Lynwood Avenue, Mahalingapuram. Beginning from April 18, 2011 a summer camp for kids in the age group of 4 10 years – ‘ Know 2 Grow’. Simple exercises, story telling, craft, cooking without fire, origami, etiquette training, dance and music are among the activities. Contact 98841 35701. Summer at Live the Art, Kodambakkam. Separate camps for juniors (3-5 years) and seniors (6-12 years) will be hosted at Live the Art from April 1, 2011. Music, dance, clay modelling, drawing & painting, paper craft, yoga are among the activities the kids will be trained in during the camp. Contact 97109 03361.
36 Parent Circle / May 2011
SPORTS & FITNESS
CHESS
NATURE
Sparrc Institute is having a summer fitness camp at Fitness Medicine and Rehab Centre, No. 311/122A, New Manickam Avenue, off TTK Road Alwarpet for 6-9 years and 10-14 years for 20 days, starting May. To check for Sports specific activities agility, flexibility, Co-ordination, Proprioception, Muscle strength & Cardio vascular endurance. Sports coaching in Football, Cricket, Volleyball, Handball & Boxing,Group exercises,Yoga, Swiss Ball & Kalaripayattu. Also available Musculo skeletal screening with video analysis of movements, tips on nutrition for kids and sport selection guidelines. Call 97909 44606, 98400 96175, 97909 44607, 43009213 for details
Summer Chess camp at The
Madras Croc Bank P.B 4, Mamallapuram, Tamil Nadu. Overnight summer camps every weekend from April 9 -July 2. For 2 days and one night. Camps will alternate between 7-14 year old batches and 15-20 year olds. `1500 inclusive of food and accommodation. Participants to arrange for own transport. Call 98406 75175.
Kids Yoga on Mondays, Wednesdays, Fridays at 136.1 Yoga Studio, Ispahani Centre (lower basement) 123, 124 Nungambakkam High Road between 4 pm – 5 pm. ` 2000. Ph: 95000 40962 Patanjali Yoga Foundation will conduct a short term course for children and adults. The first camp is from April 19-30 and the second camp from May 2-14 between 4 and 6 p.m. At 2/20, 2nd Canal Cross Road, Gandhi Nagar. Call 98412 62874. Indira Nagar Sports Club will conduct summer coaching in shuttle and cricket till May 30 at 8th Cross Street, Indira Nagar. Contact Y Deenu for shuttle on 97910 99256 and Louis Mariano for cricket on 98410 97597. Mahogany Football Academy’s summer camp for age group 5-18 years in April and May at St.Louis, Adyar. Contact 98844 80480.
Yellow Bus, E 35/2, Second Avenue, Besant Nagar. Does the game Chess fascinate you? Go for a summer camp to get an intro to this game of brilliant people at The Yellow Bus. The camp is held from April 1-30, on all weekdays (5-6 pm), Saturdays (4-5pm) and Sundays (12 noon-1 pm) Choose your timings. The camps are designed for beginners and advanced players differently. Contact 45511819, 98845 49688.
ADVENTURE Aavishkar India from Chennai, outstation summer camp schedules 3 days, 4 nights/ 2days, 1 night. Camps in Karadimalai, Palani Hills, Coorg-Madikere, Nagarhole, Chikmaglur, Kuruva, Munnar. Fees range from `3200 to `6900. 10 per cent discount for minimum groups of 5 children per camp. Call 42658628, 99400 56618 or download registration forms at www.aavishkaarindia.org. Dairiyam, an explorer’s club is conducting an adventure camp for children aged above 7yrs and also for parents. The tour commences in Chennai and continues through Lumbini, the birth place of Buddha. The expedition is a combination of leisure activities, trekking and white water rafting. From April 19-30. Venue: T-29, VII Avenue, Besant Nagar, Chennai 600090. For Registration and more details contact: 99403 55521 / 90942 99586.
MUSIC Unwind centre Western Vocal Training and Concert at 8 Manikeswari Road Kilpauk and 3rd Cross road Gandhinagar Adyar for 8-12 age group 9.30 am-11 am / 5pm-6.30 pm. For 13-60 years 11.30 am-1 pm / 6.30pm-8pm. Register at 99410 05949, 98413 79494; or email: usom@unwindcenter.com. Sargam Children’s Choir at MP Anand School, No 10 CIT Colony, 1st Link Street, Mylapore, offers Choral music, Song stories, Choral Elocution, Voice Modulation. Batch 1: April 24-30; Batch 2 : May 22-28. `850 for each batch. For registrations call 98401 32913. Antony School of Music is conducting Piano, Guitar, Violin, Keyboard & Drums for kids in the age group 7-16. Classes from 2nd May-31st May 2011. Timings: 10am-8pm (any 1 hour class) Fees: `3000 No: 93, Perambur Barracks Road Chennai 600007. Ph: 98843 28984.
DANCE
EDUCATION
STORY TELLING
WRITING
Om Nrithya Kshetra Center for classical and folk dances is organizing a workshop for children aged 5yrs and above - also special course for parents, and working ladies, helpful for the overall development of individual. April 18-30. Near Sri Vidhya Coffee Shop, E-157/3, NDP complex, (behind bus terminus), Besant Nagar, Chennai 600090. Ph. 99401 92306, 97104 38510 24918939.
Nehru Children’s Cultural Association for Students of Classes VI and VII and VIII and IX is organizing training for Maths Olympiad from April-August 21 on all Saturdays (from 4.45 pm to 6.45 pm) and Sundays (7.30 am. to 11.45 am) at Kesari Higher Secondary School, 17, ThiruVi-Ka Third Street, Mylapore. For registration and other details, contact M.R Sugumaran, president, Nehru Children’s Cultural Association, Ph: 24453014 email: ncca.ind@ gmail.com
World Story Telling Institute & Oxford Book Store in Oxford Bookstore Haddows Road present A Summer Storytelling Festival. Storytellers in 6 days! Featuring Storytelling with Arts and Crafts. The children’s artwork will be rated,and prizes will be awarded to the children with the highest ratings. Certificates for all the children. Admission per child: `1000 for the 6 Sessions. Contact: SP Kousalyaa, Oxford Bookstore, 28227711, Dr Eric Miller, World Storytelling Institute, 98403 94282, www.storytellinginstitute.org .
Camp Wise 2011 at Wordly Wise, Kilpauk
Schedule: Each day, 5pm6.30pm.
Camp 2: Ages 6-9 years Theme : “The Invention Box” – A junk art and writing workshop. Fees: `3000 for 12 days
THEATRE Alchemy Kids camps at 16/15 3rd Cross Street Kasturbai Nagar, Adyar from April 18-May 7. For 4-7 years, Stage play, Dance, Interactive Story Narration, Creative Arts. For 8-14 years Stage Play, Dance, Street Play, Theatre Props Building. For registrations call 98410 47620 / 98413 27673. Theatre Y – at StudYo: No.35, Mandaveli Street, (Landmark: lane adjacent to Mandaveli Post Office) between April 1830 and May 4-17; timings 10.30 am-12.30 pm and 2 pm-4 pm For children 7-15 years: provides an activity and training workshop in theatre and creative writing for children. Courses includes Introduction to theatre, Basics of acting, Acting exercises to improve, expression through voice and body, Solo improvisations and group
improvisations,
Story
telling basics, Introduction to creative writing, Writing poems, stories, essays, journals, etc., and plenty more related to theatre and writing. Contact us on 98840 70796 or theatrey@ gmail.com.
Goethe Institute / Max Mueller Bhavan, Chennai, offers German Elementary level weekend courses from May for students housewives, working professionals senior citizens. Registration from April 4. Call 28331314 AIMS tuition organizes summer coaching classes on +2 Mathematics, Physics, Chemistry, Biology, English, Accounts, Economics, Commerce from 11 April. For further details, contact: 95979 44999, 95979 55999. Bala Vidya Mandir, Gandhi Nagar Chennai 600020 is conducting Robotix Learning Solutions Classes from April 18-29, for kids between 11-16 years. From1pm-4pm. Contact Ph. 87544 58799. Ignite Minds and Parentree present “COOL NUMBERS IN SUMMER” - Fun Math Workshops for 7-12 year olds from April 18-May 27. Register at: www.parentree.in/events.html or call 97890 92440.
Day 1-Monday 25 April. Shylaja tells Stories about the Moon; with drawing of the night sky. Day 2-Tuesday 26 April. Nivedita tells Stories about Animals of the Forest; with drawing of animals and forests. Day 3-Wednesday 27 April. Poorabi tells Adventures of Buster Bear and Other Stories; with bookmark-making. Day 4-Thursday 28 April. Lavanya tells Stories about Rabbits and Monkeys and Other Animals; with making and playing with cut-outs, and drawing cartoons. Day 5-Friday 29 April
Wordly wise, Activity and Resource Centre for Kids, Kilpauk is organising Camp Wise 2011 from March 21 onwards for kids aged 2-14 years. New camps with different activities begin every two weeks. Camp works Monday to Saturday, 10am-1pm. March 21-April 2, 2011. Camp 1: Ages 3-6 years Camp Theme: “When I Grow up…” . Children will be introduced to various professions in a play way method. Fees: `2500 for 12 days
Camp 3: For ages 10-14 year Theme: Reporting and Journalism. Fees: `3000 for 12 days Other Camps: April 4-16: – Learn something new everyday April 18-30 : – Public Speaking Special May 2-21: – Theatre and Dance activities with a Stage Show May 23-June 5: – Back to school activities Contact Wordly Wise at No.4, Landons Road, Kilpauk. Phone: 98840 52220, 42858992.
Usha tells Indian Folktales; with puppet-making. Day 6-Saturday 30 April. Supraja tells Indian, Japanese, and Arabic Folktales; with character-representation through drawing images and words.
For your classified advertisements contact us at PARENT CIRCLE, 3rd Floor Shri Renga Vihar, 8/14 First Cross St, Karpagam Gardens, Adyar, Chennai 600020, India. Ph. no. 24461066/67/68. Email: advertise@parentcircle.in.
www.parentcircle.in 37
a
HANDS ON
CoLLage of activities Aruna Raghavan
T
he reason we have kids is to have fun with them.
Of great interest to any child whatever the age, is to look at family albums. Look at the pictures and talk to your child about your favourites. Let him select his preferred ones. Then choosing some you could make collages. Making a collage is normally considered an art. You can use this art to teach your child to sort, to think, classify, use space, learn about complementary and contrasting colours… the list is endless. Let me work with an example. Let your child choose fifty pictures. That is a tough job.
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Use the art of collage making to teach your child to sort, to think, classify, use space, learn about complementary and contrasting colours… 38 Parent Circle / May 2011
Have your child put the fifty on the floor face up so that he can see all of them at a go. You could then take the initiative and ask him to pick out 10 pictures with his favourite people. As he is doing this, he will have to choose some, discard some, maybe bargain for more than ten pictures. Give in if you think it is a fair request.
After the ten have been selected, tie them up with a ribbon and classify the bunch as ‘Favourite People’. Next ask him if he would like to suggest a classification. You would be surprised at how quickly he will come up with one. If he does not, you could ask if the idea of pictures of places would appeal to him.
Document a memorable visit with a collage Preserve tickets, brochures, maps, tokens and put them together with photographs taken during the visit.
You are teaching him to re-think. There are some bits of data with him that he is now re-looking from another perspective. I have found that kids take time to come up with the first three or four classifications. By the time they are on to the fifth, they even ask you to pull out pictures from the original album so that the group looks more complete. Generally, this activity takes 10 days of half hour sessions. You would not want to do too much and appear to take him away from other interests. When you are ready to make the collage, make a trip to a fancy stationery shop to buy good thick sheets. If your child is 5 - 6 years old, make a pact. Deciding what to buy is your job because you have to look at the price. Choosing the colour and the texture is his privilege. You will find it a marvellous trip. Your child will have behaved and he would have picked his favourite colours. (if you want a special colour nothing stops you from making your own collage!) If your child is above 7, it is time to talk budgets. From the number of classifications you have made, you will know the number of sheets needed. You might want
it ble vinsi a r o m a me arama
e of enkat Collagrtesy Bianka V Cou
to decide the size of the sheet according to the wall space available at home and how big each collage is going to be. They do not all have to be of the same size – favourites bigger, others smaller. Next, decide on the money you are willing to spend on the project. When you take him to the shop he will be fascinated by the array of paper available. He might want to take some of this and some of that. Your only contribution to this decision might be to help him work out the quantity of paper he requires to create each collage. For the rest, sit on a stool while he looks around, touches, approves and finally, puts together the papers he has decided to buy. Hug him, pay for the paper and buy him an ice cream on the way home. He has done a lot of math in there without being aware of it. Your child will want to start the project immediately. Tell him that there might be a lot to learn, so he should start with one classification he likes but not his favourite. Have him choose the chart/sheet he
would like for the project. Placing it on a large table, lay the pictures on it. Tell him that the pictures do not all have to be straight but could be slanted, fixed diagonally, in a circle…Tell him that he can arrange and rearrange as he wishes, by size, colour, shape… using a glue tack to fix them. Once he is satisfied, he can actually start sticking them. Then sit in a corner and read a book. The first collage will get done in a few minutes. As your child gets more ‘professional’ at it, you might lead him to prune the pictures and the sheets to experiment with more options. You will find that your child shows an ability to concentrate. Concentration is not just doing something at one go. Sustained interest and sustained work also indicates deep powers of concentration. Done like this, collages are a lesson in conceptualising the big picture and visualising the details therein. B-Schools anyone? n Aruna Raghavan is an eminent educationist who runs a school in rural India called Shikshayatan.
www.parentcircle.in 39
DESTINATIONS
Summer Vacation
Where to go. What to do.
Rangashree Srinivas
T
here are several easily accessible holiday spots around Chennai where your family can enjoy different experiences. Here they are classified for your convenience:
Trekking trails
Photo courtesy www.indiahikes.in
The unexplored wild around Chennai has many trekking trails like TADA Falls in Nellore district about 60kms away from Chennai. This is a moderate rocky trek ending at a thundering waterfall. Kolli Hills near Salem, offers a thrilling trek trail dotted with picturesque views, ancient temples and centuries old caves. Venkatagiri near Tirupati, is another off beaten trekking trail offering excellent views and campsites for overnight stays. To join in these treks and many more exciting trails contact the Chennai Trekking Club through their website www.chennaitrekkers.org. Ecologin from Chennai organises unique trekking and travel experiences for families and groups. Be it natural hotspots like waterfalls, estuaries, riverbeds or manmade delights like tea and spice plantations, Ecologin can organise fascinating tours. They also specialise in biodiversity tours that can teach us a lot about life and Earth. Sridhar of Ecologin can be contacted at 9445384021. This summer, Ecologin along with Ignite Minds an educational enterprise, is organising residential and non-residential camps for children called Chinna Chinna Aasai. To know more visit www.ecologin.org IndiaHikes from Bangalore organises interesting trekking expeditions to destinations as far as the Himalayas and as near as the peaks in the Western Ghats. Call Priya of IndiaHikes at 07676823355 for upcoming treks. They plan specialised treks for youngsters and firmly believe that trekking builds character.
40 Parent Circle / May 2011
Beach holidays Just want to relax and unwind sipping lemonade on the beach or go exploring? Here are some easy to reach beaches Off beat Alamparai Fort and backwaters. Drive 50km south from Mahabalipuram and be surprised by a 17th century Mughal fort by the beach. Have an exciting time exploring with your children and cool off with a swim in the backwaters. A boat ride across this water body takes you to an isolated white strip of beach where you can spread your sheet, close your eyes and imagine you are Robinson Crusoe! Auroville. The community has several beach and non-beach stay facilities ranging from the luxurious to the very basic including beach huts by the sea. Staying here is a unique lifestyle experience. Check out their website www.aurovilleguesthouses.org. Luxurious Beach resorts Fun beach places in ECR include the close-by Buena Vista in Neelankarai, Green Meadows in Palavakkam, MGM’s East Woods at Injambakkam, MGM Beach Resort at Muttukadu and Mahabalipuram. Others include GRT’s very popular Temple Bay at Mahabalipuram and the Taj Group’s Fisherman’s Cove. All these resorts have clean swimming pools and indoor game facilities, besides well furnished rooms and restaurants. The Mahindra Zest Big Beach Resort at Pondicherry is a good place for families to
60 km north of Chennai. The Portuguese established a trading post in Pulicat in 1502 and built a fort which was then occupied by the Dutch in 1609. Later the British occupied Pulicat in 1825. We can see an old lighthouse, a Dutch cemetery, and some buildings constructed during that era, still in Pulicat.
Copyright 1997, 1998, 2002 Gregory J. Scott and/or Ralph W. Scott
Mahabalipuram is a World heritage site down the ECR. Marvel at the ancient Pallava rock cut caves, the shore temple, the huge monolith ‘Arjuna’s Penance’. Ask locals to direct you to recently unearthed archaeological sites like the 2000 year old brick temple that has emerged in the aftermath of the 2006 Tsunami.
Unusual holidays unwind for a few days. Plenty of activities for children like zorbing (floating inside a bubble in water) and paintball (two teams in full battle gear and guns shoot each other with paint) are available.
Homestays in Cooler climes Everyone knows about Kodaikanal and Ooty, but there are other really cool, quiet places to chill out this summer. Homestays situated in relatively untouched nooks are available in several destinations. Examples include Top Slip, Valparai and Parambikulam near Coimbatore (for bookings contact http://www.teabungalow.com, phone 04253 221105 and www. glendalestays.in); Palace Estate Homestay in Kakabe, Coorg (www.palaceestate.co.in); Arco Iris Homestay, Curtorim, Goa (www.arcoiris.in); Jungle Retreat in Masinagudi (for bookings call 423 2526469/70/59 or email: bookings@jungleretreat.com).
Heritage spots
Pazhaverkadu or Pulicat is a historic sea shore town in Thiruvallur district about
How about a Tribal health Initiative at Sittlingi? The Sittilingi valley near Salem is surrounded by the Kalvarayan and Sitteri Hills. It is an enriching experience to visit this place and understand the native way of life. Visitors are welcome and with prior notice, accommodation can be arranged. Visit their website www.tribalhealth.org. Would you like a farmstay in Conoor with plenty of homemade cheese to savour? Acres Wild is a delightful place for children and parents to visit. Here you can witness the shaping of a self-sustaining environment like developing pond ecosystems, making of adobe bricks, gobar gas plants and the rearing of farm animals and birds in a gentle fashion. You can get a quick peep into their cheese making process along with cheese tasting. For bookings: www.acres-wild.com
Adventure and Wildlife Adventure Zone is just 90km from Tiruvanmiyur and 85km from Kathipara. It has activities like para-sailing, rappelling/rock climbing, off-roading/jeeping, orienteering, obstacle course, firing and scuba diving. There are also good staying facilities and food, making it a perfectly thrilling experience not far from home! (www.adventurezone.8k.com) Wilder Trails company from Chennai arranges several custom made holidays ranging from river rafting in Coorg to wildlife camps in Periyar National Park. (www.wildertrails.com). n
www.parentcircle.in 41
TECH TALK
AGES & STAGES
Think before you post! There is no such thing as ‘private’ on the internet. Once an item (message, blog, photos) is uploaded, it is there FOREVER!
of Internet Surfing Where do we draw the line? Gemmarie Venkataramani
I
nternet is here to stay. It is becoming an indispensable part of our children’s lives. Children log on for purposes of research, recreation and reaching out. The easy accessibility and low cost has given our children a great tool to explore the world outside with speed. Virtual answers are perhaps better than no answers at all, but the Internet world is not free of danger either. The Norton Online Family Report 2010 states that 77% of Indian children have experienced negative situations online. Parents have the responsibility of ensuring a safe and enjoyable Internet usage for their children.
s age 6 2 to
This is not the right time to introduce your child to computers and internet. Some computer games claim to make your child smart, but so does playing outside or reading a book (by parents if the child is very young) or visiting places. Children may want to email at this stage. This is fine. Do not allow them to use IM (instant messaging). IM access cannot be controlled by the parent and children could end up interacting with cyber bullies and other undesirable people. Children would want to surf the net, so keep these pointers in mind:
s age 9 7 to
• Use a filter or give proper supervision when they go online.
42 Parent Circle / May 2011
• Do not allow them to go into chat rooms or play online games. • Do not allow them to download anything from the net. Children will begin to explore the internet on their own for school work and for fun. Girls would start IMing. Boys would begin to search for gaming sites. Some may start experimenting with social networking sites.
s age 12 o 10 t
• Supervision is still needed at this stage. • Make sure you know who your daughter is chatting with and the kind of games your son is playing. • Explain to your child that he is not legally allowed to be a part of a social network. • If a site encourages kids to submit their names to personalise the web content, help your child create online nicknames that do not reveal personal information.
s age 16 o 13 t
At this stage, the floodgates open. E-mail, IM, surfing, social networking, downloading and playing games constitute most of their Internet usage. While parents have to trust their children more and let go of apron strings, some codes of conduct have to be spelt out. • Make sure your children follow your dictat regarding the internet usage. There has to be discipline in the duration of use
of the net and in the place of use - which could be at home, in a cyber cafe or elsewhere; and conduct. More on net conduct is outlined below.
Teach your children NOT to • meet up with anyone they (and their parents) do not know • tell anyone their schedule or their location • give out their e-mail address, phone number or home address online • respond to junk mail
Internet Filters To help parents prevent children from deliberately or inadvertently accessing unwanted/inappropriate sites and talking to unknown individuals, internet filters can be installed in their computers. These filters allow kids to surf online without parental presence. Filters, though, should not create a false sense of security to parents. They should still be aware of what kind of sites their children frequent. Filters typically use a list of keywords and sites to keep children from accessing inappropriate material. More advanced filters can also block or filter chat rooms, instant messages, file downloads and forums. Here is a comprehensive review of filters available in the market to help parents decide which one suits their family best. www.internet-filter-review.toptenreviews.com
Kids in the know are Kids on the safe side
Help children learn more about the risks of online browsing through stories, comics, real-life situations and testimonials. www.zoeandmolly.ca www.safesurfer.org www.netsmartz.org www.cybersmart.gov.au www.chatdanger.com www.kidscomjr.com • fill out any ‘fun’ questionnaires that are forwarded to them • answer emails or IMs from people they do not know. • post pictures. If they must, check on the pictures first. Photographs should not be offensive. Ensure that your teen is not suggestively dressed in the particular photo. • download programs, music, or files without your permission. • sharing files, taking text/ images / artwork from the Web may infringe on copyright laws and can be illegal. You should: • Talk to your teenagers about online adult content and pornography and direct them to positive sites about health and sexuality. • Teach them responsible, ethical, online behaviour. They should not be using the Internet to spread gossip, bully, or threaten others.
General Tips • Keep Internet-connected computers in an open area where you can easily supervise your kids' activities. • Check out sites, investigate ratings, and explore safety and privacy tools and parental control features. • Encourage your children to tell you if something or someone online makes them feel uncomfortable or threatened • Browse through online guides and family safety tools/filters to keep your computer safe. - www.google.com/familysafety/ - www.microsoft.com/protect/familysafety/default.aspx - http://explore.live.com/windows-livefamily-safety?os=other
Cyber Safety
IN CHENNAI
The Chennai Cyber Crime Cell conducts awareness sessions in educational institutions as well as other organisations keen on educating their students/ members on cyber safety. You may also contact the Cyber Crime Cell at Tel: 55498211, E-mail: cyberac@rediffmail.com
Any problem? If you suspect on-line abuse of your child or if you come across Cyber Cafes allowing unauthorised access to cyber pornography of any kind, do not hesitate to call law enforcement. Contact the nearest Police Station or dial 100.
No room for complacency Parents do not really know what their children do online though they may erroneously believe that they do. The survey results published by the 2010 Norton Online Family Report supports this. The illustration below shows statistics of actual net usage by children versus what parents think.
• Make sure your teens check with you before making financial transactions online, including ordering, buying, or selling items. • Discuss online gambling and its potential risks with your teens. Tell them that it is illegal for them to gamble online. At this age, children should have been taught the rules of safe and responsible conduct on the web. They are more independent. Still, constantly remind them to stay safe. Personal information should not be uploaded. Teens should use their powers of critical thinking before they believe everything they see and read on the web. n
s age 17+
www.parentcircle.in 43
CIRCLE OF LIFE
TREES, Bring back BIODIVERSITY
Bring back
Gemmarie Venkataramani As the world celebrates the International Biodiversity Day with the theme ‘Biodiversity and Forest’, Chennai’s diminishing vegetation remains a cause for concern.
The year 2011 came with a jolt to the typical Chennai neighbourhood of East Abhiramapuram 3rd street. When residents returned from work one day in January, they stood outside their homes in disbelief. The avenue-trees on one side of the road had disappeared. They were big; boys played games under them. For everyone, birdsongs lifted listless summer days. Squirrels would scamper off these trees into residential kitchens. One by one, the fifty-year old trees were cut by the Chennai Corporation to re-lay a storm water drain.
had given the lane its distinctive appeal. Now the street had lost its character.
“Our house now looks bare and uninspiring from outside”, says 47-yearold Lakshmi Vishwanath, a resident of twenty years and a textile business owner. According to her, her home had an innate grace given by the erstwhile tree canopy, while all the trees together
“Bring back the trees, bring back the biodiversity”, says G Dattatri, former Chief Urban Planner, CMDA and Adviser to Nizhal, a trust to promote concern for trees in the city. According to him, if we work collectively to bring trees back in our surroundings, the natural
44 Parent Circle / May 2011 44 Parent Circle / May 2011
The felling of trees happened during the day when most of the residents were out and those left at home did not know what to do or whom to call. Talk to senior citizens and they will vouch that Chennai had a green face twenty years ago. Industrial development and burgeoning population has since then eaten into the verdant foliage. Instead of lush greenery, we are left with a concrete jungle.
biodiversity will automatically come with it. The chirping of birds and the glowing brilliance of the colourful flora and fauna will once again become part of our daily lives. Tree abuse is becoming a common phenomenon. While hacking, sawing, tearing form part of the major outrages committed on them, jabbing, scratching, stabbing are some of the smaller crimes. “Trees need to be respected and cared for. They bring us many benefits; they are also revered in many cultures”, says Shobha Menon, Managing Trustee of Nizhal. ‘Free the tree’ campaign is Nizhal’s answer to the ill-treatment of trees in the city. With student volunteers, local residents and environmentalist groups, they remove banners, advertisements
and notices nailed to the trees. “Nizhal speaks for the voiceless trees, especially when they are hurt and abused”, says Dattatri. Across the city, trees are getting cut to give way to roads, houses, buildings and other development projects. Every tree cut spells a disaster waiting to happen. It could be in the form of floods, soil erosion, or drought. Instead of cutting trees, Nizhal advocates transplanting them to a safer location. If cutting cannot be avoided, ten trees should be planted to replace the one cut. Emphasis is laid on planting of indigenous trees like Palacumaram (Butea monosperma), Sarakonnai (Cassia fistula), Azhinji (Alangium salvifolium), Iluppai (Madhuca indica), Punnai (Calophyllum inophyllum). These varieties thrive well locally. A couple of years ago, Nizhal drafted a Tree Act which was submitted to the office of the Chief Minister, Tamil Nadu. The Tree Act calls for setting up a Tree Authority in every local body that will protect the existing trees in the area and assist residents in planting more of them. The Act is still waiting for the Environment and Forest Department’s sanction and subsequent implementation. To address the state’s receding green cover, the Tamil Nadu Forest Department is launching a project to conserve biodiversity. According to the Chief Conservator (Forest) Dr S Balaji, the Tamil Nadu Biodiversity Conservation and Greening project aims to extend the tree cover to private lands outside the forest area. “We expect to plant 100 million trees in the next eight years. This project will jointly address the eco-development and eco-tourism programmes”, he says.
TREE SOLDIERS Thirty years ago, V Subramanian, a banker at Reserve Bank of India and Dr R Madhavan, a pediatrician, roamed the streets of Chennai every morning. With their tricycle filled with saplings, they would go about finding streets that were devoid of trees. Armed with the desire for a greener Chennai, they would approach residents with a sapling in hand and offer to plant it for them in front of their houses. “The only request we made was that they water the sapling every day”, says Subramanian. They enlisted the support of private organisations to provide tree guards for the saplings. The dynamic duo started the Environmental Society of Mandaveli, which was later renamed as Global Greenways. They have personally planted 25,000 trees all over Chennai and distributed thousands of saplings. Now in their 70’s, they are still promoting tree planting. “Old age prevents us from physically doing the work, but even now we give out saplings free of cost to those who are interested in planting a tree in their yard”, added Madhavan. For free saplings, call: 044- 2493 8368/24937060.
Trees and Climate Change “Trees absorb carbon dioxide (CO2), the primary green house gas causing global climate change. When trees are cut, the excessive presence of CO2 in the atmosphere leads to an increase in temperature”, says Dr A Arivudai Nambi, Director of the Climate Change Programme at the M S Swaminathan Research Foundation, Chennai. Trees and rainfall go together. A forest
Dr. Madhavan & V.Subramanian system is a self-perpetuating one; water vapour from trees energises rainstorms. By default, destroyed tree covers imply less water vapour and rainfall. “Planting new trees remains one of the cheapest and most effective means of reducing the atmospheric temperature and ensuring good rainfall”, he says. n
KNOW YOUR TREES Get to know Chennai’s trees! Read about trees, discuss them with your child, go for tree walks and tree appreciation tours. These activities will create awareness and knowledge about trees and how to take care of them. If you take your children along, you will learn with them and appreciate nature with them. The benefits of such bonding and exercise are an added bonus. There are several books to help parents know and understand the importance of trees in their neighbourhood. ‘The Sacred Trees of India’ by Nanditha Krishna and M Amirthalingam talks about the cultural significance of trees while the ‘Forest Trees of South
India’ by S G Neginhal talks about the environmental and health benefits of the trees around us. Nizhal conducts tree walks in partnership with various educational institutions and private organisations. If you wish to plan one for your community, Nizhal can help you organise it. Send an email to: nizhaltreewalks@gmail.com Children can also volunteer for other Nizhal activities by sending an email to: nizhalvolunteers@gmail.com
www.parentcircle.in 45
ROOTS
Together, let us look back to where we came from Dr Prema Kasturi
T
he youth of today is challenged and provoked by the multi-faceted dimensions of a globalised culture. While exposure to such trends does enrich and provide variety, we should not lose touch with our roots, our culture. Whatever enhances human personality and contributes to human advancement could be defined as ‘cultural heritage’. Heritage gives us roots - who and what we are. It provides us with emotional, aesthetic and rewarding experiences. We are fortunate to have inherited a rich, dynamic, historical, socio-economic, cultural and architectural legacy. We should recognise and appreciate this. We need to preserve the treasures of the past for the benefit of the future generations. Contemporary society has a need for heritage education which
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Photo courtesy: www.prabhupada.org
completes our understanding of our identity. Such education would contribute to the development of a holistic personality. It would add an exciting dimension to classroom learning by encouraging artistic perusal of the unique diversity of Indian culture. The meaningful aspects of Heritage include: Natural Heritage: Did you know that the Rig Veda contains a hymn explaining the interdependent relationship between man and nature - the magnificent plant world, the life giving waters and the variety of animal life? This link between the natural environment and culture shows that by nurturing and respecting our local microcosm (or our local heritage) we would imbibe a deep respect for other cultures as well. Built Heritage: We can rediscover the everyday activity of our ancestors, significant historical events and lives of important individuals from the buildings, sacred sites, tanks, tombs, forts, palaces located in and around the city. We can learn a lot from objects
Parents and children can explore together Within short distances from our home are some exciting places for family outings where we can explore the beauty of the world around us.
in museums - sculptures, paintings and jewellery - all priceless gifts from the past generations. Art is broadly defined as an expression of ideas created by human imagination, skills and inventions. It is further classified as Plastic Arts, that which occupies space such as painting, architecture, pottery; Performing Arts, such as music, dance or theatre; Literary Arts, where ideas are communicated in the form of writing or oral transmission of traditions and customs. Living Heritage: In this, we discover the continuity of living traditions. The community in India plays an important role in the growth of the individual at every stage of his life. The clearly defined ways of living established by the community, which includes religion, the family, food and festivals, creates a meaningful sharing of experiences. When heritage education is combined with site visits, city walks, games, quizzes, workshops, debates, theatre, then discovering heritage as a family or as a group becomes an unforgettable experience.
We have a role Pollution, misuse, neglect and erosion by natural elements endanger our heritage. Often, the demands of a competitive, modern society make us insensitive to heritage preservation.
It could be the study of living and plant species in the Adyar estuary, or the historically ancient temples, mosques and its environs.
With belief and commitment it is possible! n
The Bronze section of the Madras Museum is a must to understand our sculptural glory inspired through Indian spiritualism.
Dr Prema Kasturi is the co-convenor of the Indian National Trust for Art and Cultural Heritage (INTACH), Chennai. She has authored several publications on South Indian Heritage.
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Through city-walks early in the morning, we can trace the past of personalities, institutions and historical movements all of which could be valuable and informative.
46 Parent Circle / May 2011
full page ad – 5 RIL/col
www.parentcircle.in 47
CHECK IT OUT
AGES 2-4 YEARS
AGES 4-6 YEARS Out of the Way! Out of the Way!
GOOD READS for all ages
AGES 0-4 YEARS
Indra Finds Happiness
Devdutt Pattanaik Publisher: Penguin Publishers `99 Indian mythology expert, Dr Devdutt Pattanaik’s new children’s series ‘Fun in Devlok’ are worth a read. In this book, Little Harsha was sad. So a cloud flies him to Indra’s palace to show him that the king of gods was sadder than him. It is Vasishta who tells them the secret of being happy. Will Indra learn his lesson and stop feeling sad?
Uma Krishnaswami Publisher: Tulika `135 This picture book tells the story of a dusty path that runs through a village. It is a busy road as people and animals keep walking up and down on it. In a simple and lyrical way, Uma brings environment issues to the fore, as she shows how a big tree with wide branches can grow beside a busy road and how they make room for each other. This book is available in seven regional languages besides English.
AGES 8+ The Kane Chronicles, The Book Two: Throne of Fire
Guess how much I love you
Sam Mc Bratney and Anita Jeram Publisher: Candlewick Press `204 This much-loved classic on the immeasurable love between a parent and child is a bedtime story for all time. Searching for words to tell his dad how much he loves him, Little Nutbrown Hare comes up with one example after another ("I love you as high as I can hop!"), only to have Big Nutbrown Hare continually up the stake. Suffused with tenderness, McBratney's endearing story is enriched by Anita Jeram's pen-and-wash artwork, rendered in earthy tones of soft brown and grey for a visually quietening effect. It is just correct for that last soothing tale before your little one goes off to sleep.
48 Parent Circle / May 2011
Mahabharata
Namita Gokhale Publisher: Puffin Publishers `499 There are many versions of India’s most cherished epic. In this version, Namita Gokhale, a respected writer brings to life this timeless tale with disarming ease and simplicity. The tales of bravery, deceit, glory and despair are told in a clear and contemporary style.
Rick Riordan Publisher: Disney Hyperion Cost: check amazon.com Ever since the gods of Ancient Egypt were unleashed on the modern world, Carter Kane and his sister Sadie have been in trouble. As descendants of the House of Life, the Kanes have some power at their command but the devious gods have not given them time to master their skills. To have any chance of battling the forces of chaos, the Kanes must revive the sun God Ra. But that would be a feat more powerful than any magician has accomplished. The second instalment of the three part Kane chronicles promises to be thrilling.
AGES 10-12 YEARS Daddy Long Legs
Jean Webster Publishers: Scholastic `250 Eighteen-year-old Jerusha Abbott seems to have no future beyond the orphanage she lives in. Until one of the trustees offers to pay for her college education, on the condition, that she writes him one letter a month, addressed to Mr. John Smith. But there is no other contact. Jerusha, who has seen only a glimpse of her benefactor, names him Daddy-LongLegs, and through her wonderful letters of college life in America, we view a vibrant young girl's coming of age. This classic American novel by Jean Webster was first published in 1912, but has continued to be loved by readers ever since. Did you know? This book features in the reading list recommended by the CBSE.
Animal Farm
George Orwell `50+ This book is quite simply one of the best and most powerful books written by Orwell. A fable of a workers' revolution gone horribly wrong, it is a clear scathing attack on the corrupt communist system of the former USSR. The story uses the backdrop of a farm which is taken over by animals who rebelled against the terrible inequities meted out to them. But as time passes, the ideals are forgotten and corrupted. Orwell’s message condemning any form of dictatorship and communism is just as powerful today as when he wrote it half a century ago. Did You know? George Orwell (whose real name was Eric Arthur Blair) was born in 1903 in India and then went to Eton when his family moved back to England.
[PARENT READ[
How to Talk So Kids Will Listen & Listen So Kids Will Talk
Adele Faber and Elaine Mazlish `420+ This book, highly recommended by Chennai’s parenting group, ‘Parenting Matters’, is a valuable communication tool kit. It is based on information culled from a series of workshops held by the authors. They provide a step-by-step approach to improving relationships at home. The helpful cartoon illustrations, the ‘reminder’ pages, and the excellent exercises will improve your ability as a parent to talk and problem-solve with your children. The book can be used alone or in parenting groups, and the solid tools provided are appropriate for kids of all ages.
AGES 13-15 YEARS The Hobbit
Lord of the Rings but continues to be a multi-textured fascinating fantasy tale. New English language editions of the Hobbit appear yearly and there are over fifty different editions to date.
J RR Tolkein `200+ Bilbo Baggins, a respected hobbit is the last person one would expect to go off on a hazardous journey. Nevertheless, he ends up accompanying dwarfs in a perilously long adventure to recover a stolen fortune from the dragon Smaug. They meet giant spiders, hostile elves, wolves and a subterranean creature named Gollum from whom Bilbo wins a magical ring. Hobbit is lighter in tone than his trilogy
Did you know? The Hobbit was originally written for Tolkien’s four children who loved every aspect of the story. Tolkien, an Oxford University Professor was a philologist, a lover of language who started to develop his own languages. The Hobbit and his other works largely grew out of this love.
for teenagers Classic reads BIRD ING
TO KILL A MOCK
Harper Lee
SBY
THE GREAT GAT
gerald
F. Scott Fitz
1
FAHRENHEIT 45
y Ray Bradbur
FROM
ANKWEILER
RS BASIL E FR
FILES OF M THE MIXED UP
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E L Konigsb
www.parentcircle.in 49
PARENT CHEF
summer FLAVOURS Recipes from Usha Japee
MOTI ROTI INGREDIENTS
To make roti Whole wheat flour Semolina Oil
½ cup 1 tablespoon 1 teaspoon
For the filling Butter 1tablespoon Jeera ¼ tablespoon Hing (asoefetida) a pinch Small Onion ½ Spring Onion 1 French Beans 4-5 Small Carrot 1 Small Parboiled Potato 1 Small Tomato 1 Ginger Paste ¼ teaspoon Jeera Powder ¼ teaspoon Chilli Powder ¼ teaspoon Garam Masala 1/8 teaspoon LimeJuice ½ teaspoon Chopped Coriander leaves 1 teaspoon
METHOD
Steps to make the roti
Combine all the ingredients with enough water to make a soft dough.
Moti Roti is an ideal mix of nutrients and fibre served in a compact wholesome meal. It makes an excellent snack or a meal. It is ideal for packing in tiffin boxes and as a picnic snack. The children get their fill of mixed vegetables and wheat. Creative combinations can be tried for the filling. The possible variety is limitless, so go ahead and have some ‘healthy’ fun cooking with your children. Knead well. Divide the dough in 3 equal portions. Roll out and make rotis around 11cms in diameter. Make sure the rotis nicely puff up.
For the stuffing Cut all the vegetables in small cubes. Heat butter in a pan and add jeera. When jeera crackles, add a pinch of hing, add onions and sauté till the onions are transparent.
MELON FUN cut into half cut into half cut into half ¼ teaspoon 2 teaspoon ½ teaspoon ½ teaspoon ½ teaspoon
METHOD With a scooper, scoop out ball shaped, water melon balls, melon balls, papaya
50 Parent Circle / May 2011
Making the moti roti
Open the top layer of roti enough to fill the stuffing and close it. Serve with any chutney or sauce of your taste.
An ideal blend of tropical summer fruits that are refreshing and hydrating. Being natural coolers, they are a wonderful option to beat the heat and for those ‘slightly hungry moments’ during the day.
INGREDIENTS Watermelon Papaya Honey dew melon Salt Sugar Lemon juice Rose water Chat Masala
Add ginger paste and sauté. Add all the vegetables, stir well. Add salt, chilli powder, garam masala and cook till vegetables are tender. Now add finely chopped tomato and cook for a couple of minutes. Add lime juice and chopped fresh coriander leaves.
balls and put them in a bowl. Add salt, sugar, lemon juice, rose water and Chat Masala. Toss and mix. Garnish with finely chopped mint and tulsi.
This is a recipe that parents can make with their children. For more interactive fun, give them scoopers of different sizes and let their creative juices flow, watch them scoop the melons in various sizes and shapes. They can serve them in attractive designs on plates or in bowls.
MANGOES
A symbol of life - that is what mango is to us, Indians. Cultivated in the country as early as 2000 BC, the king of fruits has been declared as the national fruit. Described as the ‘food of the Gods’ in the sacred Vedas, mango is grown in most parts of India and floods the market during the summer months of April to June. Mangoes are an excellent source of carotenes, vitamin B, C and E, copper.
MAANGA CHANGAA INGREDIENTS Raw Mango 1 Jaggery 4 tablespoons Black Salt ½ teaspoon Roasted Jeera Powder ½ teaspoon Dry Ginger Powder ½ teaspoon
METHOD Soak the mango in water for ½ an hour to 1 hour to get rid of any pesticides and coated preservatives on the skin. Wash the mango thoroughly in running water. Cut the mango into large chunks. Boil them in 2 glasses of water. Can be pressure cooked as well (2 cooker whistles). Cool the mixture.
This cool drink is very healthy and refreshing in summer. It hydrates the body and provides essential nutrients like Vitamin C, Iron etc. Blend it in a blender and strain. Add water to make 4 glasses. Add jaggery, black salt, roasted jeera powder and blend again. Chill the drink. Before serving - Pour in a tall glass. Garnish with finely chopped mint leaves or tulsi leaves and serve. Usha Japee conducts tailor-made cooking classes and can be contacted at 9841016188
Recipes from Praveena Srikanth
MANGO RICE INGREDIENTS Raw Rice
1cup
For Masala
MANGO SWEET CHUTNEY INGREDIENTS Raw mango, peeled and coarsely chopped Jaggery Ginger finely chopped Chopped garlic Salt
3 cups 1 cup 250 gm 1 clove 1teaspoon
METHOD Mix all ingredients in a pan and allow it to boil. Reduce the heat and simmer till the mixture thickens. Remove from stove and let it cool. Serve as side dish for crisp dosas or chapattis.
Turmeric powder Mustard seeds Red chillies Grated green mango Grated fresh coconut Asafoetida powder
½ teaspoon 1½ teaspoon 6 1½ cup 4 tablespoons ½ teaspoon
For Tempering Chana daal, rinsed Red chilli, halved Mustard seeds Oil Curry leaves, peanuts
4 tablespoons 1 1teaspoon 3 tablespoons
METHOD Cook the rice and spread on a platter to cool. Set aside. To make the masala: put mustard seeds, asafoetida powder, red chillies, turmeric powder and grated coconut in a blender or food processor.
Add half of the grated mango. Blend into a fine paste. Set aside. For tempering, heat oil in a heavy frying pan and add mustard. When the mustard seeds splutter, add the peanuts, chana daal, red chilli and curry leaves. Once the daal is golden in colour, add the remaining mango. Now add the masala. Cook until the raw smell disappears. Remove from heat and set aside. In the cooled rice, add salt to taste and extra curry leaves. Stir in the masala little by little, until well blended. Serve with fried potato chips. Praveena Srikanth is a Chennai parent
Send your interesting recipes to editorial@parentcircle.in with the subject line ‘Parent Chef’ or send them to PARENT CIRCLE, 3rd Floor Shri Renga Vihar, 8/14 First Cross St, Karpagam Gardens, Adyar, Chennai 600020, India.
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EVENTS
CHENNAI April 16 Handicraft Exhibition.10.30 am to 8 pm. On upto April 25 at Damini, No.20, Arunachalam Road, Kotturpuram, Chennai 600085. Ph. 42188774 April 16 Education Fair. Kal Publications is having an education fair for Plus 2 students who have finished exams at Chennai Trade Centre, Nandambakkam, Chennai 600089. The Fair will have stalls from various Universities and colleges across the country. Students are expected to get an idea about the courses available across the country to make informed choices about further education. April 17. Theatre. Art & The 39 Steps - by EVAM 5.00 pm & 7.30 pm. Museum Theatre, Egmore. For tickets call: 9840612333 April 17 Music Concert. Naada Inbam upto April 24 everyday at 6pm at Ragasudha Hall, 85/2, Luz Avenue Chennai 600004. Ph. 24992672, 24465150. April 24 Activity camp for children at Dakshin Chitra. Next to MGM Dizee World, East Coast Road, Muttukadu, Chinglepet District 600118. 27472603 & 27472783. `500.
to April 30 Last date nt de Stu the for up sign of e mm gra Pro r rte Repo ail: em . -12 11 20 e YOCe editor@yocee.in May 3. Campfire Tales. 6.30pm to 8.30pm at Playhouse ‘Cheria Aana’ 39/46 Ram’s Square 2, Village Road Nungambakkam. Phone: 28211115 or 96771 25738 May 15. Metal embossing workshop for adults at Dakshin Chitra. ` 500 May 21. Origami & Tshirt printing for children at Dakshin Chitra. `500
this month
Snake Awareness Programme
Chennai Snake Park, Raj Bhavan Post
If you have a deep curiosity to discover more about these slithering reptiles this programme involves a demo of live snakes at 11 am and a visit to the snake enclosure at 11.20 am. Admission is free and light refreshments will be served. Since the maximum number of participants is restricted to 40 and the applicants will be picked on a first-come-first served basis, hurry to enroll. Remember to bring an ID card for identification. Application with contact address can be sent by email to cspt1972@gmail. com or handed over to S Sivakumar, Environmental Education Officer, Chennai Snake Park, Raj Bhavan Post, Chennai 600022. 11am-1pm. Sri Sumukhi Rajasekharan Memorial Foundation is celebrating its ninth year of Balar Chithirai Kalai Vizha. Various competitions like bharatanatyam, naattupura nadanam, keerthanai, naattupura paadal, Bharatiyar paadal, thevaaram and so on will be held. This is open for children and youths of different ages groups. The winners will be awarded with medals and certificates. Selection will be held till April 20 from 10 am-1 pm at 5, Third Trust Link Street, Mandavelipakkam. The finals will be held on April 23 and 24. For more details call 93826 98811 / 93810 38385.
TREE Foundation’s Turtle Walks & Hatchling Release programs on Fridays and Saturdays from 7.30pm9.15pm. 5/25 Blue Beach Road, Neelankarai, ECR. Call Neelu 95000 28486 or email: treefoundation2002@ gmail.com for the program schedule.
Robotic workshops for kids 3/7, II Main Road, Indra Nagar, Adyar Free personalised workshop for children above five years, to inculcate in them an interest in Robotic Engineering. Call 32213000 to register.
Little Theatre Festival: Registrations for the competition run-up for the festival in July 2011 is opening from April 15, 2011. For more details log on to: www. thelittlefestival.com The Little Theatre Creative Workshops: Registrations are open for the Annual Creative Workshops that have been designed specially for the 5-14 year olds. The programme runs throughout the year from the end of June until the beginning of March. It includes Creative Workshops on Saturdays from 4pm-5.30pm at Vidya Sagar in Kotturpuram, day excursions on select Sundays to interesting places, ‘trick or treat’ during Halloween, carol singing on the back of bullock carts, a party at the end of the sessions and the opportunity to be part of the little theatre’s annual Christmas Pantomime Shows. Toddler Theatre: Tuesday and Thursday between 3-4.30pm Venue: Playhouse ‘Cheria Aana’ 39/46 Ram’s Square, 2 Village Road Nungambakkam, Phone: 28211115 or 96771 25738
For event listing contact us at PARENT CIRCLE, 3rd Floor Shri Renga Vihar, 8/14 First Cross St, Karpagam Gardens, Adyar, Chennai 600020, India. Ph. no. 24461066/67/68. Email info@parentcircle.in with the subject line ‘Events’.
52 Parent Circle / May 2011
DISCUSSION POINT In a leading sari store in Chennai, a shoe-clad three-year-old was creating havoc, running wild on the sari display tables. The child’s behaviour was attracting attention from the other shoppers. Her grandfather tried to calm the child. Unperturbed by the child’s antics, the mother however remonstrated with the grandfather to allow the child to do whatever she wanted.
Do you think the mother should have handled the situation this way?
This is not right at all. The mother should have first tried to explain to the child that this behaviour was not acceptable. She should also have said that they will be told to leave the shop, if the child was uncontrollable. Finally the parent should have left the shop if nothing else worked. It is a simple lesson but necessary. Sometimes, the best behaved child might not be in a mood to listen. The parent has to become authoritative. Children need to be told that this or that is not ok. How will children learn otherwise? If parents do not lay down boundaries they have no business being a parent. I feel mothers are not thinking of the child but more about their embarrassment and defeat if they have to leave the shop. Keep yourself out of this equation. I have embarrassed my children many times by pulling up parents in public spaces for not stopping their child from misbehaving. I feel very strongly about it. ANURADHA VENTAKESH, HR consultant and a mother of two Definitely, the mother was not right. In the west, people don’t take kindly to such situations. The mother would have attracted dirty looks. In India, we are tolerant but that does not mean that we approve. Sometimes, a child’s behaviour is beyond your control. In this particular case, the mother should have picked her up from the table and admonished her with words. If the child is allowed to misbehave she will never know what is not acceptable in public. Children should be taught to be sensitive to other people’s disproval. She must know that what is allowed inside a house may not be possible outside. Parents should not wait for an embarrassing situation in which a third person ends up correcting their child. Grandparents are lot more sensitive to this kind of situation and should be allowed to deal with it. But they should not be mistaken by the parent. SHANTHI RAGHAVAN, retired former head of English department, Presidency College, and grandmother of two boys The mother should convey to the child that this behaviour is not acceptable in public. It can be done in a smart way, instead of scolding her. She could convince the child that if she ran on the tables she might slip and fall and get hurt. I do not believe in teaching a child by using negative language or by shouting at her. There is a way of disciplining a child in a positive manner. SRINIVASAN SARANGAN, real estate developer, father of a single child
EXPERT SPEAK Children will be playful and run around. The mother should have brought a colouring book along to keep her occupied. Adults need to teach them how to behave. Yet you also see adults behaving in an insensitive manner in public; so where does that leave kids? That is why, we as etiquette trainers, counsel parents as well. RAMYA RAVIKUMAR, Etiquette Trainer
This is not right at all. The mom should catch the child and make her sit down by her side. She needs to explain to the child that she is disturbing the others in the shop. Later the same kids grow up and get out of control. Mothers cannot complain afterwards. After all such a mother was laughing when her daughter was creating havoc as a child. The grandfather cannot be expected to entertain the child. It is entirely the mother’s call. ROSY SALUJA, homemaker
next month's Marks versus Learning:
question
One school of thought believes that marks accurately reflect a child’s learning and should be greatly emphasised. Yet another says that there is little connection between the two. What do you believe in and why? Please send in your response to editorial@parentcircle.in with the subject line 'Discussion Point', or send them to PARENT CIRCLE, 3rd Floor Shri Renga Vihar, 8/14 First Cross St, Karpagam Gardens, Adyar, Chennai 600020, India.
www.parentcircle.in 53
As a Parent, You are the Best Teacher your Child can have DO YOU WANT TO • Participate actively in your child’s learning, beyond home work? • Tap learning opportunities for your child in everyday life but don’t know how to do it? • Make sure that your child demonstrates conceptual clarity across disciplines such as Science, Maths, English and Social Sciences?
Our program equips you to be a fantastic Fellow Traveler in your child’s learning. • Lessons to be administered by parents to children (4 -12 years) • Constant fine-tuning based on feedback and assessment • Frequent interactions on specific issues and for assessing progress Write to sriram@igniteminds.in or call 9789092440.
CHELLAMMAL (A House of sign Makers)
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Cell: 98407 67009 98844 31631
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No.9, Jubillee Road, West Mambalam, Chennai - 600 033. Ph: 45513053, E-mail: aravindsrimathy@gmail.com
54 Parent Circle / May 2011
sargam
let’s sing together!
Summer 2011
Weeklong musical experience for 5 to 15 year olds Batch 1 ¶ Choral music techniques & training ¶ Voice Modulation sessions ¶ Stories & Songs – Music theatre & puppetry ¶ Choral Elocution - Reading diction ¶ Field trip to a Music temple
April 24 to April 30
Batch 2 May 22 to May 28 10am to 12 noon
Workshop venue: MP Anand School,No 10, CIT Colony, 1ST Link Street, Mylapore, Chennai – 600004 Fees Rs 850 per batch. Call Sudha Raja at 9840132913/9952963551/243433918
Exams Over? Now What? Confused?
Science, Commerce, humanities, Engineering, Medicine, Architecture? Do you wish you knew yourself better? Let us help you discover yourself Know your potential, know strengths and carve your path to success. We at Yellow Tree help you choose the best career by using the most scientific, tools and methods. Contact us at Yellow Tree. Ph no. 9884086155. connect@yellowtree.in. www. yellowtree.in
Than God’s ambrosia sweeter far the food before men laid, In which the little hands of children of their own have play’d. Tamil Sangam Poet Tiruvalluvar The rice in which the little hand of their children has dabbled will be far sweeter (to the parent) than ambrosia.
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With Best Wishes to
Parent Circle RMC Transit Mixer Operators & Staff Transport Operators. Contact Murugesan at 992153489
www.parentcircle.in 55
LIGHTER VEIN
SUMMER
LOUDER
THAN OTHERS
Carol Band
M
y neighbours just had a new baby. His name is Jacob and he is absolutely adorable. Sometimes, when the windows are open, I can hear his cries pierce the stillness of the summer night. In the morning, I watch his weary parents push the stroller to the coffee shop at the end of the street. “Getting any sleep?” folks inquire as they walk by.
to rise and do something called – let me explain this kids – work. Actually, in all fairness, my kids do work. But they have summer jobs that start at 4 in the afternoon and end at 10 at night. This leaves plenty of time to come home, shower until the hot water runs out and get ready for the night. They seem to thrive on this inverted schedule. It must be youth … or maybe it is the naps.
“Not really,” the new parents report. “He was up at 2 and 4.”
It is not like my kids are committing crimes in the middle of the night – they are just up, slamming doors, talking on their cell phones and carrying on all night like it is the middle of the afternoon. I would not care about their nocturnal tendencies, except that I am someone who needs to sleep. I am not asking for 10 hours or even the eight hours recommended by the American Medical Association. I just want the hours from midnight to 6 a.m. – hours that I would like to devote to R.E.M.** so that I will be able
Having them home for the summer has been a readjustment for everyone. They have had to adjust to the fact that our kitchen doesn’t have a taco station or a salad bar, and I’ve had to ramp up my grocery shopping to compensate for the massive amounts of expensive, not-from-concentrate orange juice and low-fat frozen yogurt that they consume. I have cut back on buying red meat because they told me that it takes six acres to produce a pound of hamburger, and they’ve learned to comply with my rule about keeping gas in the car. So far, it is working out – except for the part where I am up all night. “Mom, is it OK if a few people come over tonight?” my son Nathan asked as we were finishing dinner. “Of course, Honey,” I said. “When are they coming?”
*Ferberization is a technique invented by Dr. Richard Ferber to solve infant sleep problems **Rapid Eye Movement
56 Parent Circle / May 2011
“ERIN TRIED TO FRIEND ME ON FACEBOOK!!” My eyes snap open. “YOU KNOW HER? IS SHE THE ONE THAT USED TO BE EMO?” They might as well be sitting on the end of my bed. They are laughing in the kitchen. They are bouncing a basketball. BANG, B-Bang, B-Bang.
Big deal! I was also up at 2 and 4 – and at 12:30 and at 3 and at 1. I have two kids who are home from college and I am getting less sleep now than I did when they were newborns – way less. In fact, I am ready to Ferberize* them. College students sleep until lunchtime, nap in the afternoon, eat dinner at 5, nap again and then wake up and go out for the evening at 11:30 p.m. Turns out, their schedule is a lot like a newborn’s – eat, nap and party all night. The difference is, babies are little and cute; college students – not so much.
“Oh, not until later,” he said. Later is after I have gone to bed. A few people are six friends from high school who attend various universities and apparently major in voice projection. Their voices carry up the stairs.
I shuffle to the kitchen. There is a game of Risk set up on the kitchen table. There is a carton of low-fat frozen yogurt and a half gallon of orange juice. There is the basketball. It is a relatively wholesome scene – at least it would be, if it wasn’t 2 a.m. I poke my head into the room and everyone stops talking. Ahhh … silence! “Guys,” I say in my ‘your mom is really cool’ voice. “Can you keep it down a little? Some of us have to get up early.” I try to keep myself from shrieking the last sentence. I refrain from screaming “BE QUIET! SHUT UP! GET OUT!” I return to bed. The voices in the kitchen have been reduced to intimidated murmurs. The ball bounces against the kitchen floor in a rhythmic BANG, B-BANG, B-BANG. As I drift off to sleep, I can hear baby Jacob waking up for his 2 a.m. feeding and I smile. At least mine are out of diapers. n Carol Band is a journalist by training and mom by chance. This article was originally published in her column ‘Household Word’ by Dominion Parenting Media. Please send your feedback to editorial@ parentcircle.in with a cc to carol@carolband.com
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