editorial
For the Parent in you To know, to understand, to connect Parent Circle Volume 2 Issue 8 December 2012 Price `60
for the Parent in You!
Music for the Brain
HOW MUSIC IMPACTS CHILDREN
8 WAisYeSa
to ra us genero child
OPEN SCHOOLING BASICS Two Parents, One Voice?
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ccording to a recent study conducted by researchers at McMaster University and published in May 2012 in the scientific journals Developmental Sciences and Annals of the New York Academy of Sciences, ‘early musical training benefits children even before they can walk and talk’.
In this study, one-year-old babies and their parents enrolled for six months in one of two types of weekly music classes. One was an interactive music class in which parents and babies learnt nursery rhymes and action songs and played with percussion instruments. In the other class, music was played in the background while the infants played at various toy stations. Prior to taking the classes, all babies exhibited similar communication and social skills. But after completing the music classes, babies from the interactive music group showed a keener appreciation for music played in pitch. Even more surprising was the fact that these babies smiled and interacted more and were overall less distressed. Several similar studies have shown a strong correlation between brain development and an early exposure to music. With the December Chennai Music festival upon us, we bring you a special music feature. In our cover story ‘Music for the Brain‘, renowned musician Anil Srinivasan talks about his own experiments involving music and its effects on children and he explains how music training helps in developing various skills such as cognitive, memory and analytical skills in children. We also feature an interview with music maestro Sriram Parasuram. Today, more and more parents are seeking various options to support their child’s academic learning, particularly if the children are deeply involved in an activity such as a sport or music or if they have different learning requirements, or need more flexible options. Our feature, ‘Open Your Mind to Open Schooling’ discusses the option of Open Schooling for these families. In the spirit of Christmas, our article, ‘Art of Giving’, shows you 8 ways of instilling the spirit of generosity in our children. In addition, Sharon Blair, an associate Christian Minister, shares with us the value of building a loving, God-centred home in her viewpoint titled, ‘The Only Absolute to a Home is Love’. Wishing you all a Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year!
NALINA RAMALAKSHMI PUBLISHER & EDITOR-IN-CHIEF Nalina Ramalakshmi MANAGING EDITOR Nitya Varadarajan ASSISTANT EDITOR Chitra Satyavasan SENIOR EDITOR - COPY DESK Shashwathi Sandeep CONTENT COORDINATOR Asita Haq
CREATIVE HEAD Rangashree Srinivas SENIOR DESIGNER G Swarupa GRAPHIC DESIGNER M Ravisankar PRODUCTION CONSULTANT S Venkataraaman ADMINISTRATION Sheeja Sasindran
VICE-PRESIDENT SALES & DISTRIBUTION M R Jayakkar GENERAL MANAGER - ADVERTISING S Visalam MANAGER - ADVERTISING G Suresh Kumar CIRCULATION C Ganesh S Thirumalai SUBSCRIPTION Dolly Preethi Martina M S Saravanan
Parent Circle is published by Nalina Ramalakshmi, Director, Shri Harini Media Pvt. Ltd. All editorial material including editorial comments, opinions and statement of facts appearing in this publication, represent the views of its respective authors and does not necessarily carry the endorsement of the publishers. Information carried in Parent Circle is gathered from sources considered to be reliable, but the accuracy of all information cannot be guaranteed. The publication of any advertisements or listings is not to be construed as an endorsement of the product or service offered.
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contents
FEATURE
Music for the Brain Interview: Dr Sriram Parasuram
24 32
REGULARS MINDSET 6 12
34
46
50
56
VALUES Art of Giving: 8 Ways to Raise a Generous Child
45
NUTRITION Pep Up with Red Bell Peppers
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Parent Circle / December 2012
CENTRESPREAD
PARENT CHEF
Budding NRI Muscians 28
CHECK IT OUT
KALEIDOSCOPE
52
FORUM 4
54
DISCUSSION POINT Barbie Doll Syndrome
YOUR WORD Letters to the Editor
44
PARENT EXPRESS Tune out TV, Tune in to Life
What’s New?
Tonsils and Adenoid Problems in Children 40
Open Schooling
Music CDs and Books
TEEN CIRCLE HEALTH CIRCLE
Open your mind to
Desserts for Christmas!
What’s Your Hobby? 38
14
RESOURCES
Two Parents, One Voice? Anxiety: Up close and Personal
SPECIAL
VIEWPOINT The Only Absolute to a Home is Love
ON THE COVER SIYA AGARWAL PHOTOGRAPH BY S VENKATARAAMAN LOCATION TAMBOURINE TODDLERS, a music program by Prep School @ Vanilla Children Place
mindset
Two Parents,One Voice? BY KESANG MENEZES
P
Parents can agree to disagree without sending mixed messages to their children
arenting experts often say that parents should put up a ‘unified front’ before their children and that each one’s messages should be consistent with the other’s. But parents are people, not gods.
crop up as the children grow older? What if the child has not studied for a test and wants to bunk school, and one parent feels that it is okay but the other feels that it is wrong? How will the child figure out what really is right or wrong?
Both parents are individuals with their own personalities and views; they cannot feel the same on all issues. So, this is an unreasonable expectation. Yet, it cannot be denied that when parents express differing views, it can confuse the child.
All of us experience such situations and also know how it feels when we are contradicted, and our opinion is sometimes ‘put down’ in front of our child, or our authority is undermined in a similar manner.
For example, a child is jumping on the sofa and one parent says, “Stop it, you are spoiling the sofa!” But the other parent says, “He is just a child. This is the age for him to enjoy. Let him jump!”
Your son wants to buy a new toy car and you promise to buy one for him. But when your wife finds out, she says, “What nonsense! He already has too many cars. Don’t keep spoiling him.”
This is a small example, but what about the more serious issues that invariably
Your teenage daughter wants to go out with her friends to a movie, and
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Parent Circle / December 2012
Who is right?
you have readily agreed. But when your husband comes home, he says, “You are not old enough to be going out with your friends, and I will not allow it.” While conflicting opinions are a part of life, it is also important to focus on how parents can work through these differences so that the child ultimately benefits. In fact, we can use these occasions to give our children the message that differences of opinion are a normal part of life but that they can and should be resolved in a healthy manner. After all, both parents love their children equally and want the best for them (and this is broadly true of extended family members like grandparents, and uncles/ aunts). So the principles we discuss on the adjacent page can be applied to such situations, too.8
special
OPEN YOUR MIND TO
Open Schooling BY RANGASHREE SRINIVAS
For those looking beyond regular schooling, open schooling can be an attractive option
14 Parent Circle / December 2012
feature
Music for the Brain BY ANIL SRINIVASAN
With the onset of the music season in Chennai, we look at how music impacts children
24 Parent Circle / December 2012
health circle
Tonsils and Adenoid problems in children BY NITYA VARADARAJAN
Parents often hear from their child’s paediatrician that a particular fever is due to infected tonsils and adenoids. While they accept the verdict, only a few really understand the nature of these tissues and how they affect children. Dr N Pandian, surgeon and promoter of Pandian Hospital in Chennai, answers the common questions related to tonsils and adenoid problems. What are tonsils and adenoids? These are lymphatic tissues at the back of the throat, forming a circle. They stimulate an immune response from various ingested antigens. As children have underdeveloped immune systems, these tissues serve as a useful back-up. Tonsils are located on either side of the tongue at the back of the mouth. They stick out and can be easily seen. Adenoids sit between the tonsils, higher up in the roof of the mouth, in the naso-pharyngeal area. As adenoids are hidden behind the roof of the mouth, they cannot be seen easily without special mirrors or X-rays. These tissues increase in size in the first 6-7 years of life and they can be particularly large in some children.
What causes inflammation of tonsils and adenoids? I find that children drinking ice water, fruit drinks/buttermilk from stalls, water from packets, and cool drinks are particularly susceptible to the problem.
38 Parent Circle / December 2012
At first the jugulodigastric lymph node (which is located inside the throat at the base) gets inflamed as this node receives the lymphatic drainage or fluids from the pharynx, tonsils and tongue. Then the tonsils and sometimes adenoids get inflamed. The process is followed by cold, fever, and sore throat. Sometimes, the tonsils enlarge so much that they touch each other, creating the phenomenon known as ‘kissing tonsils’.
What are the problems caused by large and inflamed adenoids and tonsils? If the adenoids and tonsils are large, as is common in children (even without specific inflammation), they narrow the airways and reduce the flow of air into and out of the lungs. Breathing difficulties are less noticeable while a child is awake - although they may cause some symptoms like a stuffy nose, ‘nasal’ speech and breathing through the mouth (particularly associated with adenoid problems). During sleep though, the muscles of
the throat relax. The combination of relaxed muscles and a narrow airway cause what is known as ‘collapse of the throat’ and the child will be unable to breathe (apnoea). After a few seconds of struggling, the child is partially aroused from his sleep, although not completely awake. The muscle tone returns, and the throat opens - often with a gasp. A child may go through many of these cycles in an hour, resulting in a disturbance of normal sleep patterns known as Obstructive Sleep Apnoea. When it is severe, Obstructive Sleep Apnoea can result in serious conditions such as heart strain, abnormalities in heart rhythm, growth disturbance, behavioural problems and concentration difficulties. Lesser degrees of sleep disturbance can cause bedwetting, or daytime sleepiness. Sleep disturbance can also occur even without complete apnoea, if the child is struggling to breathe against resistance and airflow is reduced.
values
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ART OF GIVING
T
he festive season, for many of us, is the ultimate excuse for indulgences of all sorts. Sinful sugary fatty food, expensive dresses and gadgets, and gifts galore – who doesn’t love all these hallmarks of festivity! But Diwali, Christmas and New Year can also be the perfect excuse for doing a good deed.
“Relatives always have one question for children during festivals – ‘What did you get for Diwali?’ If we were to ask children ‘What did you give during Diwali?’, the focus will be more on giving than on getting,” says M Vasuki, a Chennai-based psychologist. Giving, however, doesn’t come naturally to most of us. We can always go back to that moment in our childhood when our parents probably had to coax and cajole us into lending our favourite doll to a younger sibling. “When you ask the older child to share his toys with the younger one, he may get back broken toys. The next time, the child will think twice before giving as he does not want his toys to be returned broken or even go missing. Insecurity, losing control over his possessions – these are the emotions he
40 Parent Circle / December 2012
BY CHITRA SATYAVASAN
associates with giving. So, giving has to be practised regularly if the child is not to feel threatened,” she adds. Here is how you can instil in your child a spirit of generosity so that giving becomes a habit for life year round:
them 1 Show the way. “Make it an expectation in your family that your children will give and serve. If you show by example that one of your family’s values is helping others, children will get the message that this is something important their parents do and that they should be a part of it,” says Susan Crites, author of The Giving Family: Raising Our Children to Help Others, in an email interview. “When I was in high school, I remember how my Mom made me teach English to our maid’s daughter. Initially, I tried to wriggle out of it by saying I didn’t have time. But once I started teaching, I began to look forward to our sessions, and also discovered that I have an aptitude for teaching the language,” says Sarbani Chakraborty, an English school teacher in Kolkata. Sarbani is ensuring that her 6-yearold daughter Srinika practises giving
by donating old toys or clothes to her maid’s children. During special occasions like birthdays, she makes her daughter hand over new clothes and sweets to the less privileged in the neighbourhood.
‘em young. 2 Catch Start right away by ensuring that your child shares his books and toys generously with friends who come over to play. Point out to your child how happy he feels when his friends share their toys and chocolates with him.“The earlier you inculcate in them a habit of generosity, the easier it becomes to accept it as a way of life. Later, in their professional lives and in relationships, they will not have trouble sharing, giving or ‘adjusting’,” says Vasuki.
your 3 Help children find
their passions.
“Your children will be more interested in volunteering if the projects fit in with their interests. If your child loves animals, find out if he can help with a pet adoption event. A teenager with computer skills can teach children or senior citizens to use computers, or help a social service agency with its Facebook
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