editorial
For the Parent in you To know, to understand, to connect
I
was not more than five or six years old. I was sitting on the front steps of my house, mango seed in hand, relishing every bit of pulp slurped from the seed. Suddenly, the seed slipped from my hand and fell to the ground. Looking around and assuming that no one was watching me, I picked up the
seed and continued eating from it. Just at that moment, the Swamiji who visited my home daily to teach Vedanta to my mother and grandmother was entering my house. He saw what had happened and informed my mother. When my mother later questioned me about this, I vehemently denied any wrongdoing. This made her furious; it was not what I had done, but it was the fact that I had lied. She took me to my room and left me crying and alone to think about this. This incident may sound trivial, but it has been etched forever in my memory. That day, I learnt a valuable lesson - the importance of being truthful and honest. Indians today have banded together in their fight for honesty and anti-corruption led by Anna Hazare and the Jan Lokpal bill. As my father rightly says, for the Jan Lokpal to be effective, the members
Find us on
themselves have to be honest and uncorrupt. These are values that need to be inculcated in every individual from childhood and the parent plays a vital role in instilling these values in every child. In our cover story on ‘Gandhian Values’, we have Gandhians talking to us on the Mahatma’s vision for a free India, the important values he espoused and how we can instill such values in our children. As the cold and wet days of winter approach, we all need something to light up our long, dark nights and keep us cheerful. Our special story ‘Winter and the Festival of Lights’, takes you on a fascinating journey across India and around the world exploring several winter celebrations of lights. This month, we are proud to announce the launch of our very own website and an online version of the magazine at www.parentcircle.in. We invite you to be a part of our online community by exploring and contributing to the site. Your feedback is of great interest to us. The importance of our role as parents in shaping the future of our world cannot be over emphasized as seen from this quote by Mahatma Gandhi:
“If parents would behave themselves whilst the child is growing, before it is born and after, it is a well known fact that the child would instinctively obey the law of Truth and the law of Love.”
Nalina Ramalakshmi
PUBLISHER & EDITOR-IN-CHIEF Nalina Ramalakshmi MANAGING EDITOR Nitya Varadarajan SENIOR EDITOR - COPY DESK Shashwathi Sandeep CONTENT COORDINATOR Asita Haq
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1
COVER STORY P.24
Winter and the Festival of Lights
SPECIAL P.11
REGULARS
Gandhian Values
6 IN FOCUS 20 MINDSET Discipline without Punishment P.34
38 FEATURE Demystifying Arts-based Therapy 42 HEALTH CIRCLE Vitamin and Iodine Deficiencies in Children
44 LEARNING The Art of Storytelling 48 TEEN CIRCLE When Blackberrys and Apples Cause Indigestion!
52 CIRCLE OF LIFE Being Resourceful 54 DESTINATIONS No Bypassing Bylakuppe!
FORUM
RESOURCES 18
HANDS ON Spin A Charkha
4
YOUR WORD
56
CHECK IT OUT Good Reads
8
PARENT EXPRESS Parenting Dilemmas
58
PARENT CHEF Quick ’n Easy Diwali Delights
60
DISCUSSION POINT School Timings
62
EVENTS Chennai this Month
64
VIEWPOINT Art as a Career Option
ON THE COVER VEDYA AND VYAAS RAJA ENJOYING DIWALI PHOTOGRAPH BY ARJUN DOGRA
2
Parent Circle / October 2011
your word
Letters to the Editor The cover story of your September issue on Grandparents is a beautiful, authentic account of the ‘grand’ relationships! The 101 year old Janaki Ammal playing carrom is a wonderful picture capturing the four generations together! Best wishes! DR T V SUBRAMANIAN The magazine is perfect for this generation of parents, especially when both the parents are working. They have no time for children, but at the same time, they want their children to excel in their studies. Parents depend almost completely on teachers, but teachers too cannot manage each child individually. This kind of magazine brings about awareness in us to prioritise our parental roles. The issues taken up by Parent Circle, are pretty much the issues that we face in our day to day life.
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The layout, articles chosen, the topics covered are interesting and relevant. We also appreciate the over-all philosophy of your articles which are focussed on allowing children their childhood,
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rather than pushing them and stressing them out, which has
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Please send in your letter with the subject line “Letters to the Editor”, before October 15, 2011, to editorial@parentcircle.in or send them to PARENT CIRCLE, 3rd Floor Shri Renga Vihar, 8/14 First Cross St, Karpagam Gardens, Adyar, Chennai 600020, India.
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Parent Circle / October 2011
in focus VAISHNAVI RAMESH is a 10th standard student studying in MCTM School, Luz Church Road, Chennai. Five years ago, she started her very own tradition during Vinayagar Chathurthi. Every year she creates her own Ganesha, each time using a different material, from flowers floating in water to coloured rice to pieces of coloured cloth. In addition, she sets up a beautiful display of the several Ganeshas that she has as part of her collection. Vaishnavi then invites family and friends over to her house to view the display and participate in her celebrations.
W ABNER IMMANUEL CARLOS is only 11 years old, but he can recognize the pitch of any song within a fraction of a second. So well-versed is he in this field, that he is working to set a record for ‘The Perfect Pitch in Music’ for the India Book of Records (IBR) and the Asia Book of Records (ABR). At an event organized by the Don Bosco Institute of Communication Arts (DBICA) on July 13, 2011, he identified 43 songs' scales in a minute. Abner is a 7th standard student at St Joseph's Anglo-Indian Boys' Higher Secondary School in Chennai. He plays the guitar, keyboard and piano and is studying the theory of music. Ask this young boy how he manages to do everything, and he says, “I have not analysed it, I just do it.”
6
WILCO PUBLISHING, which launched its Picture Library collection (comics) this March, has already released 68 titles. It plans to launch 4 new titles every month and publish at least 500 books in this category. The collection has been classified as: the GOLD series dealing with mythology, history, divinity; the SILVER series dealing with biographies, poets, leaders; the COPPER series for cities, temples, monuments; the BROWN METALLIC series for inventions and discoveries and the GREEN METALLIC series dealing with sports and games. Priced at Rs 50 each, there are a minimum of 140 panels in each book, which is of a large format (A4 paper size). The text is simple, and the paper quality glossy, making the books an attractive read. They are available in all the leading book stores and a few other retail outlets such as the Reliance grocery store. Two of the latest titles include ‘Vaishno Devi’ from the Gold series and ‘Cricket’ from
AR Rahman is Abner’s source of inspiration and he hopes
the Green Metallic series. ‘Cricket’ depicts pictorially the origins of
that someday he will make it big in Hollywood!
the game and its various terminologies.
Parent Circle / October 2011
parent express
PARENTING DILEMMAS
Predictably, my son became an easy victim.
I pacified her and
He came home crying after being tapped
my daughter happily
hard on the head by a ball – which mother
agreed to part with
can take this? Evenings became a time
her lantern, since I
to warn the bully for such transgressions
had already seen the
before I went on my customary walk. His
handiwork. But her
mother was known to ignore complaints from
friend forgot to take it
other mothers, having taken the line that
back home. I guessed
everybody was targeting her son! Finally,
that her grandparents
she told the boy to keep away from my son.
would have thought
I heartily approved! But then, my son would
this had happened
be sent home as soon as the boy came
deliberately and seeing
down to play. My blood boiled, but I did not
their granddaughter in
want to push the other friends to a corner,
tears, would have felt
by asking them to choose between the two
upset with
boys. I told my son to play till the boy came,
my daughter.
and then cycle or play on his own, or with
It drove a knife through
my daughter.
my heart, and I wanted
When to sidestep and when to crossover
to rush to their house
But cricket is an addiction with my son, and
to set the story right.
my sane advice, meant to help me more
But I refrained from
than my son, didn’t do any good. He started
interfering, letting time
crying at home for everything, and it would
take its course. The
invariably end up with “That boy does not
great healer worked its
let me play.” It hurt him to be sent off from a
magic and though she
game. Worse, the bully continued to sneak
was still barred from
a slap or a whack, which he later denied
entering the house a week later, at least
completely. To add insult to injury, another
the two started playing again. Three to four
boy of my son’s age was allowed to play in
very child makes us experience
months down the line, my daughter tells me
the game. Finally, I walked up to the older
parenting anew. Each presents his or
that the grandparents are very friendly with
boy one day and made my son and him
her own set of problems and reactions
her now.
shake hands. Play together, but don’t hit
by Meera Srikant
E
the friend was upset.
that leaves us just as confused with the
each other, I advised the former. Play with
second child as we were with the first one.
Soon after this episode, my younger son
One day, during summer vacation, I
who had turned five, started playing cricket
him, but keep a distance, I told my son.
realised that my daughter had not gone out
with boys whose ages ranged from five
I cannot help wondering – should I have kept
to play and seemed listless. Some gentle
to eleven. One eleven-year-old boy was
away from this fight? Children will fight, have
probing revealed that she had been told by
a notorious bully. Other mothers have
differences, but can we ignore violence?
her friend’s grandparents not to enter their
complained about him, but the children
Is the age mix right? Who can dictate what
house. I knew the reason, and I knew that
seemed to flock back to him despite being
groups get formed as children play? The
she was not to be blamed.
hit and pushed.
questions are endless. The answers are
The previous day, the two girls had brought
Scared for the safety of my child, I had
the road to making our children independent
home a paper lantern that they had made
warned the bully that I didn’t want to hear
and responsible as they grow.n
in the craft class. My daughter was in a
of anyone being pushed or hit by him.
skirt. Playfully, to see it flare up, she was
Sure enough, I had to intervene on behalf
twirling around in the elevator lobby, when
of another boy who had been badly hit by
her friend ran to her with the paper lantern
a ball thrown by the bully onto his chest,
in hand. By mistake, my twirling daughter’s
because the victim was too scared to tell his
hand went through the lantern, tearing it.
mother. This was not taken kindly by
She apologised immediately, but naturally
the bully.
never clear. We trudge as best as we can on
8
Parent Circle / October 2011
MEERA SRIKANT IS A FREELANCER AND A PARENT. Write to us on parenting experiences in 600 words, with the subject line ‘Parent Express’ to editorial@parentcircle.in or send them to PARENT CIRCLE, 3rd Floor Shri Renga Vihar, 8/14 First Cross St, Karpagam Gardens, Adyar, Chennai 600020, India.
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special
Gandhian Values I am a humble but very earnest seeker after Truth. And in my search, I take all fellow-seekers in uttermost confidence so that I may know my mistakes and correct them - MAHATMA GANDHI
MOHANDAS K. GANDHI IN 1946 MARGARET BOURKE-WHITE, LIFE MAGAZINE © TIME INC
by Rangashree Srinivas
T
he best thing about the Mahatma
Jayanthi. This year it will be his 142nd
was that he was human, completely
birth anniversary. Gandhian thoughts and
human. And yet he is known all
principles have a universal and timeless
over the world as a great soul. He never
value. Sixty-three years after his passing
claimed himself to be infallible and ‘above’
and sixty-four years after independence,
all. In fact, he considered his whole life and
the Gandhian spirit has at last taken hold
actions as a journey in spiritual evolution.
of the common Indian. Gandhigiri has
It is natural for man to make mistakes but
glimmer of hope to a country tired of greed,
it is also important to be aware and learn from them. Gandhi’s life is a guide for every human being to live for a higher purpose. On October 2nd, we celebrate Gandhi
emerged as a popular movement offering a corruption and politics for personal gain. What did Gandhi actually stand for? What qualities of his can we hope to imbibe? Can we nurture a better tomorrow by following the Gandhian way? 8
www.parentcircle.in 11
special
Living with Gandhi I remain an optimist, not that I can give any evidence that right is going to prosper, but because of my unflinching faith, that right must prosper in the end. - MAHATMA GANDHI
M
eeting nonagenarian V Kalyanam, personal secretary to Mahatma Gandhi during the last
five years of his life, is an experience by itself. Kalyanam looks very much a man of the soil, as he potters about his nursery of some 1000 plants. In 1943, 20-year-old Kalyanam landed in
shram vagram A
, Se
Bapu Kutir
the Sevagram Ashram. Not knowing much about Gandhi, the young man’s only desire was to live a life where ‘he could work with his hands’. Having been raised in an affluent, educated family in
V Kalyanam seate d at the right of Gand hi, as he meets visitors
Delhi, Kalyanam was always surrounded by servants to do his every bidding. But he loved to sweep, swab and tend to plants. Gandhi’s ashram supported a lifestyle where a person could work and be taken care of. Each inmate was given a chore of his liking and he would work for the whole community. This way, everyone did their job cheerfully and willingly. Food, clothing and shelter were taken care of, though in the most basic way. There was no question of accumulation of wealth or luxuries. At that time, Gandhi, his wife Kasturba Gandhi, his personal secretary Mahadev Desai and most of the other close aides were locked up in the Aga Khan palace in Pune, following the Quit India Movement. In May 1944, Gandhi was released by the British. Following the death of his personal secretary Mahadev Desai in the Aga Khan palace, Kalyanam was given that role by default. Kalyanam was the only literate inmate in the ashram at that time.
e in Pun alace d P e n n o a h is r imp ga K The A andhi was G where
In October 1944, when Gandhi finally returned to Sevagram after a spate of naturopathy treatments in Bombay, Kalyanam became his constant companion till his assassination in 1948. “I had the divine opportunity to learn from Gandhi,” says Kalyanam.
An uncertain freedom On the midnight of August 15, 1947, when Delhi was celebrating India’s hard earned independence, Gandhi was in Calcutta bringing about a miracle – calming down Hindu and Muslim rioters and getting them to embrace one another in peace. The freedom struggle forged by Gandhi had at last succeeded but not before tearing the nation asunder. While freedom from British governance brought home hopes of a prosperous independent India, where in Gandhi’s words, ‘Milk and honey will flow’, there was also unrest and insecurity. Ironically, the British divide and
12 Parent Circle / October 2011
rule policy manifested completely at the hour of independence. “India was one, under Mughal rule and under the British; but when she became independent, the people fell apart,” remembers Kalyanam. The Muslims were insecure that they would not be treated well by a Hindu government. A faction of the Muslim community lead by the Muslim League wanted out. They wanted a West Pakistan and an East Pakistan (Bangladesh of today) where the Muslim majority lived. Gandhi did his best to keep the country together. He even suggested to the Congress that Muhammad Ali Jinnah, the leader of the All India Muslim League be given Prime Ministership and that other key roles be given to Muslim nationalists. The politics of power had come into play and no one was ready to relinquish their status in governance. India was partitioned, leaving a brutal aftermath of blood and death. The state of post-independent India left Gandhi bereft and heartbroken. After independence, he lived for only five and a half months, before he was killed by the poison of hatred. “Had he lived longer, there would have certainly been a second freedom struggle. Gandhi would have mobilised the whole country against corrupt governance. Anna Hazare’s Gandhian fight though belated, is still direly needed,” says Kalyanam with conviction.8
Lessons learnt from Gandhi “From Gandhi I could learn valuable lessons,” says Kalyanam. PRAYER ‘Prayer is the key of dawn and the bolt of sunset,’ said Gandhi. In the ashram no work was done and no decision was taken without prayer. ECONOMY Absolutely no wasting of resources was allowed. Inland covers addressed to Gandhi had to be opened very carefully so that every scrap of empty space could be reused for writing. CLEANLINESS AND ORDERLINESS Everything had to be kept in its place. Not a speck of dust was to be seen anywhere. In the ashram, the walls and floor were pasted with cow dung. The toilets were in a row of thatched rooms. They were all 3 feet x 3 feet cubicles with a pit, and in one corner,
The India of Gandhi’s dreams Kalyanam goes on to share what Gandhi had envisaged for India: All communities will live peacefully. There will be no inequality in religion, caste, gender or wealth. The Congress party existed only to attain independence. Now there is no need for such a party. Build a united India. Create a Nationalist party called Lok Sevak Sangh. Let there be no ministers, only executive councillors who work for the people; not rule them. India is a poor country. Let everyone live simply, especially those who govern. They should not live in big mansions. They should live and work among the people. Gandhi himself stayed in the sweeper’s colony when he went to Delhi.
a huge pile of mud. There was a coconut shell with a handle,
Even Indian diplomats abroad should opt for simple
to be used to cover the excreta with mud. There was no tap,
cottages to live in. Do not feel ashamed of living thus.
but there was a bucketful of water. The whole place was so
Completely abolish the three vices of drinking, betting on
hygienic. There was no bad smell. There were no mosquitoes or flies.
horse races and indulging in lottery tickets. Poor people consume alcohol to forget their worries and deprive their
NON-VIOLENCE Sometimes we would find scorpions and
families of food. Greed or despair makes people forsake a
snakes in our hut. No one was allowed to kill them. We had to
rupee in the hope of gaining ten. Again the families
quietly remove them and let them off in the open fields.
are deprived.
Gandhi said that anger is equal to violence. I was not used
“None of his ideas were considered, leading to this dismal state
to typing and initially had difficulty in following his dictation. I
of our country today,” rues Kalyanam.
would make several mistakes. But he never once scolded me.
www.parentcircle.in 13
special
Talking Peace to Children If we are to reach real peace in this world, and if we are to carry on a real war against war, we shall have to begin with children. - MAHATMA GANDHI
C
hennai is fortunate to have several genuine Gandhians, who have made it
their mission to reach Gandhian values to children. Dr S Kulandhaisamy the director of Gandhi Peace Foundation is a true Gandhian in spirit and action. He organises all-religions prayers for peace and offers
Help an old man cross the road? I can start with a micro-action. I can help my grandfather everyday for sometime, before I go out to play. The child should be empowered into
and appreciation. He conducts workshops
understanding that he has a voice. He
on ‘Peace Education’ to empower the
should not end up thinking that he is small
youth in exploring alternatives to violence.
and is of no consequence. We have to
They also learn to resolve conflicts by
remove the mental block of their hesitation.
undertaking micro-actions for peace.
Once that block is removed, the floodgates
Here are some thought processes and the
of positive action will open.
outcomes that emerge from his workshops:
Peace Education Workshop
What is Peace?
In the Peace Education workshops, no
Is peace silence? When adults demand is for peace. In reality, it is only a forced discipline. It may serve an immediate purpose, but sustained peace requires justice. When there is an element of injustice, it harbours restlessness in the mind. A restless person can never be
advice is given, no comparisons are made and there is no competition. Children are encouraged to explore their creative nature. The lessons are in modules, each containing a story that relates to day to day experiences. Thus, a concept is taken from the known to the unknown. Sometimes, known concepts are reinforced.
peaceful. Gandhi’s Satyagraha teaches
According to Dr Kulandhaisamy, at the end
Respect others and assert yourself. For instance – if you have something to say, neither suppress yourself and sit quiet, nor barge in with your opinion. Raise your hand and speak clearly with conviction.
of a workshop the following six behavioural
Where is Peace?
n They are able to ignore rough behaviour
Is it in the beach, in a temple, in a meditation hall? We need not look outside
changes are observed in the children: n There is an increase in observation and listening capacity; they develop more sensitivity towards others. from others that demand obedience. n They resolve conflicts peacefully and
for peace. It is within us. Meditation is
directly without complaining to a third
done to focus our mind. Can we suppress
party. They move away with dignity, if the
our mind? If we can look into a friend’s
conflict is unresolved.
eyes and listen to him intently for even
n They learn not to blame people or
five minutes, we have meditated and have
situations for their own problems, as this is
found our peace.
energy deployed inefficiently.
Who should work for Peace?
n They do not gossip or talk unflatteringly
The police, the army, our teachers, politicians, parents, God or Gandhi? We realise that only ‘I’ can work for peace. ‘I’
of a person in his absence. They learn to use self-restraint and say boldly when the others are indulging in gossip, “I do not want to be a part of this.”
have to come forward; ‘I’ have to be selfish
n They become courageous. They own up
in this regard. It is not a forced duty. ‘I’ am
responsibility to mistakes, without
doing it willingly.
14 Parent Circle / October 2011
Write to the UN? Write a poem on peace?
courses on inter-religious understanding
silence from children, they think that it
Dr S Kulandhaisamy, Director of Gandhi Peace Foundation
How can I work for Peace?
giving excuses.8
series in The Hindu – Young World,
The Ten Commandments of Mahatma Gandhi
written by Dr S Kulandaisamy. The
“My life is my message,” said Gandhi when asked for one.
modules are tailored to developing an
Anyone can derive these dictums from his own life, so vividly
attitude of peace among the young
recorded in his autobiography, “The Story of My Experiments
generation. Each module has an
with Truth.”
The ‘Gandhian Way to Peace’ is a handbook with 51 modules on Peace Education based on Gandhian Values – with stories, quiz, quotes, anecdotes and illustrations – compiled from a
interesting life situation involving an imaginary family in conflict situations, an activity note for teachers, Gandhiji’s perspective on a similar situation and most important, a section where the child writes down her own solution to the issue. The handbook is available with Gandhi Peace Foundation, Chennai. Phone number: 044 24993839 / 9962479005. Email: kulandhaisamy.gpf@gmail.com
Be truthful. Truth begets trust. Trust begets respect, recognition and rewards. You may not always follow the truth, but if you are convinced of the truth, stand by it. Make it your business to find Truth. Don’t do anything in secret that you cannot divulge in public. Be fearless. Face threat and danger stoically. Bear no grudge. Non-violence in thought, word and deed will transform your relationship with others for the better. ‘Malice toward none’, is the right attitude to adopt. Free yourself from enslaving habits. Illness is caused by wrong food or pollution. Do not suppress the symptoms by medication. Find the cause and avoid it. In most cases Naturecure is the best remedy. Smoking is a slow killer. Alcohol and drugs are poisons. Be emotional. Show it in love, not in hatred or anger. Keep the
ChildSpeak
ego under leash. Ego is the seat of emotions and let it not get the better of you. Create wealth for the society. If you have surplus funds,
Aishwarya studies in class X in
invest them in productive ventures. Do not hoard or make
Children’s Garden Higher Secondary
dead investments.
School and is attending the ‘Peace Education’ workshop at school.
Share your burden and profits. If you have inherited wealth or are running a business, look upon yourself as a trustee and
At every session we read a story from
put this to productive use. Share business profits generously
the book. Each story has interesting
among the workers. Identify truthful, trustworthy persons and
cartoons. We learn through these
reward them with responsibility and money. Do not shoulder all
stories how Gandhi handled difficult
the responsibilities by yourself.
situations and confusing emotions. Dr S Kulandhaisamy is really
Go to the public. Take interest in public affairs. Set aside at
like a kulandhai (childlike). He knows how to talk to us at our level.
least three hours of your time in a week and one per cent of
What impressed me the most about Gandhiji’s life is that he did
your personal expenditure to support a public cause.
most of his work by himself, like spinning his own cloth. After
Be with God. Sit in Meditation for at least 30 minutes. Relate
reading about him, I have learnt to control my anger. Earlier I used
with your inner Self, the God within.
to get very angry with my younger sister who would use my things
Be a Satyagrahi. Remain committed to truth and nonviolence
without asking me. Now I explain to her very gently that I have no
under all circumstances. Fight injustice and oppression. Be
objection to her using my things, but she should first ask me. She
ready to sacrifice your life and wealth for the sake of a noble
obliges invariably, and when she does not, I tell my mother.
cause. Service to the poor and the distressed, is service to God.
www.parentcircle.in 15
special
Stories of Gandhi V R Devika, is the Founder and Managing Trustee of the Aseema Trust that links traditional performing arts and education with the ideals of Mahatma Gandhi. She teaches children in schools the importance of using a charkha and how to use it. What is the relevance of Gandhi to the children of today? Gandhi’s idea of fearlessness and creative ideas of dealing with situations is very relevant to children today. Thinking out-of-the-box and converting humiliating experiences into positive ones is an attribute that they can learn from his life. I have a story for each situation. One is the famous situation in Rajkot’s Rashtriya Shala in 1936. Gandhi had fasted against an unfair tax by the King of Rajkot and the families of the King were angry with Gandhi. There was also a Muslim group in Rajkot upset with Gandhi. When he arrived for the expected prayer meeting in the school compound, there were black flag demonstrations outside the compound from these people. He did Namasthe to them too, as he sat down. Throughout the prayer meeting, they were shouting slogans. When he got up to leave, they began to pour into the compound menacingly, with huge sticks in their hands. Some of Gandhi’s followers formed a cordon around him. Gandhi just stood for a minute and then went straight to the first young man looking more menacing than others. He put his hand on his shoulder and said, “Under your protection I will go through this crowd.” This act stunned everyone. The young man put his stick down and gently led Gandhi through his friends who were shouting some minutes ago but were now bowing respectfully as Gandhi passed through them. Isn’t this a fine example of courage, creativity and strategy? By imbibing Gandhian values how can children be helped with their future? From Gandhian values, it is important to understand that to be a good Indian one must buy Indian. We must ensure that the economic benefit of even buying a pencil goes to a local person. We must never accept mediocrity and corruption as a way of life – this will help our children lead a clean life. We must be true to whatever we are doing, and do it completely - this will make us fulfilled and productive. What are the values to learn? Apart from courage, faith, cleanliness, and the questioning of any blind belief that is not fair to all, one should not accept anything that may harm another. One should learn to look at everybody as oneself. How to inculcate these values in children? We should be aware of these values all the time and encourage children to try and imbibe whatever is possible under the circumstances. What can parents do? Show by example! What does the Aseema Trust do for children and the youth? Aseema Trust is using the symbol of the charkha as a tool for bringing these values to children. We tell them stories and make Gandhi ‘cool to know’. n
16 Parent Circle / October 2011
Excerpt from the booklet
‘Spin a Yarn’
Charkha – The Spinning Wheel is one of the oldest known forms of spinning. Gandhiji spun even as he was giving interviews, during meetings, when travelling by ship/train and when in jail. When his right hand got tired, he spun with his left hand. Self-sufficiency was the idea that drove Mahatma Gandhi to promote the Charkha. He needed something as a symbol or as a means of weaning Indian dependence on England for cotton cloth. Gandhi viewed Charkha spinning as a form of meditation. He had announced a design contest to make the big Charkha small and portable. He then further modified a design that had been submitted in the contest and came up with the box Charkha. SPINNING AND SELF-IMPROVEMENT Just Do It! Maintenance and cleaning are ‘boring’ repetitive concepts that make men out of weaklings. Your body needs maintenance, so does your cycle. Your school bag needs to be cleaned, the desk you sit at is collecting dust perhaps, or maybe your mother or father need help with clearing cobwebs in the house. Is the dustbin on your street emptied regularly? Who do you have to approach for this? Draw a regular schedule for maintenance. What is maintenance?
“If you do your spinning at a fixed time every day, you will develop within yourself, a sense of regularity. If you are regular in spinning, you will try to be regular in other things too. A boy with regular habits does twice the work of another who is irregular. It will develop your sense of tidiness; for, without tidiness, good yarn cannot be spun at all. You will have to keep your slivers clean, your hands should likewise be clean and free from perspiration. You will have to ensure that the place around you is free from dust, etc…” – Gandhiji Rally your spirits! What do you do when you are down in the dumps, feeling low and depressed, drained of energy or confused? Take a long refreshing walk? Curl up with a good book or talk to friends? Do something completely new and different? Well, why not try spinning?
“If we have the ‘khadi spirit’ in us, we would surround ourselves with simplicity in every walk of life… The ‘khadi spirit’ also means having an equally illimitable faith… so we must have illimitable faith in truth and non-violence, ultimately conquering every obstacle in our way. The ‘khadi spirit’ means having a fellow-feeling with every human being on earth. It means a complete renunciation of everything that is likely to harm our fellow creatures; and if we but cultivate that spirit amongst the millions of our countrymen, what a land this India of ours would be!” - Gandhiji, Young India, 1927
hands on
SPIN A
SPINNING IS LIKE MEDITATION, A PRAYER
Charkha by V R Devika, The Aseema Trust
Charkha, literally meaning ‘wheel’, is a generic term for any spinning wheel or hand-cranked spinning machine. Charkha spinning makes cotton yarn by pulling it from hand held pooni. Pooni is a sliver of compressed and cleaned cotton. Tightness and consistency in the pooni is one of the keys to fine and even spinning. A spindle called Takli spins yarn from cotton. The Takli holds the cotton as it plays and pulls.
1 Open the box this way
The Box Charkha (note that the opening clasp is upside down. That is the correct way to open it!) Learning to spin is no more difficult than learning to bicycle. It can be learnt by anyone anywhere.
Gently push open the spindle holder into upright position.
Fix the spindle on the holder.
PARTS OF THE BOX CHARKHA Big Wheel Thick Cotton String Cotton The cotton slivers are called poonis and are made of cleaned and pressed cotton wound tight.
Spindle & a thin cotton string 18 Parent Circle / October 2011
Speed Wheel
Spindle Holder
2 Wind the thin string to the spindle.
The Charkha is a sensitive apparatus. It requires tender care and a loving manner of setting it up.
4
3 Slip the other end of the thin string along the
Rotate the big wheel in clock wise direction.
groove of the speed wheel.
The belt linking the two wheels go under the small wheel and the rim of the bigger wheel. The yarn belt linking the small wheel and the spindle goes in the groove of the spindle and the rim of the small wheel.
5 Hold the cotton softly and firmly and let go as the big
6 The spindle pulls the yarn from the cotton.
wheel is turned with the other hand clockwise.
Spin your Yarn! www.aseematrust.org
A short anticlockwise turn helps the yarn roll back into the spindle to start the spinning all over again.
www.parentcircle.in 19
mindset
Discipline WITHOUT Punishment by Supriya Padmanabhan and Sujata Dewaji
N
o single method of
When Vineet was scribbling on the wall,
playing games on the computer. Since
positive-disciplining (or
his mother gave him a black board to write
Amit loved football, Ganesh channelized
disciplining without the use
on and chart papers to scribble on. She
him away from playing compter games,
of the carrot or the stick)
firmly said, “The blackboard and charts are
to watching football training videos online.
works every time. Different
for writing, not the walls.” Knowing that his
Amit emailed his friends the links to famous
situations warrant different approaches.
need was to explore and to express himself,
goals, thus satisfying his emailing needs.
Sometimes we have had a bad day and
she gave the artist other alternatives!
Father and son then went out and practised
that gets reflected in our interaction with our child. However awareness and constant evaluation of our parenting helps us in our journey. There are four broad ways to approach discipline. We will take them up one by one.
Understanding the needs of a child
Ganesh’s son Amit wanted to use his email
what they had downloaded.
account more often with his peer group.
Children rarely do anything without a sense
He was also spending far too much time
of purpose. The key is to understand their need before we put an end to an activity.
Define the problem clearly and state the expected behaviour Arun loved jigsaw puzzles. After playing with them, the pieces would get strewn
As children develop and grow, they
on the floor. Later he would go off to
have natural needs. If we provide
play, without bothering to put them back.
an environment that gives them the
Children are so absorbed in their own
freedom to satisfy their physical and
world that they do not pay attention to
emotional needs, their growth will
the things around them. Clearing up is
be satisfactory.
not a priority for them, when there are
As toddlers explore, feel and throw
many other exciting things to do.
things, they are actually learning
So what did his mother say? “There are
about height, weight, textures and
puzzle pieces around the room.” (State
so forth.
what you see). The room needs to be
20 Parent Circle / October 2011
cleared up, so that we can all walk freely
help develop a sense of cooperation and
According to
without tripping over them.”(State what
trust between members of the family. Apart
Alfie Kohn, the
you expect) Arun responded
from the ‘Children must sleep by 8.30’
Parenting Guru,
promptly.
type of rule, we should realise that children
punishment as a
are receptive to rules that encompass the
form of discipline
By describing the problem, the child sees a purpose in what he is being
people around them. ‘We put away our things’, ‘We eat at the table’, holds good for parents too; only then
asked to do. He
would children recognise justice in the rules that get framed. Be open to discussing the rules with children and changing them if need be. For example: A mother told her children, “I know that there have been times when I have been so angry that I have hit you. I want you to know that what I did was not right. I will try my best not to also realises that
do it again. At the same time I want you
often fails, as it leaves the child feeling: • Resentful, angry and powerless. It distracts the kids from the real issue. He has learnt that the use of power is the best way to solve a problem. • Humiliated. The focus is on the wrong, not on how it should be done right. The child often gets labelled and over time accepts that label (lazy, rude, useless), as part of his personality.
the adult now trusts that he will respond
also not to hit each other. From today, let’s
• Misunderstood. We show no faith
accordingly. For instance, Sonia found her
make this a rule for all of us.
that our child is working towards his or
daughter forgetful. Not wanting to nag or label her child as careless, she described the problem to her, “I find it really hard to help you with your homework when you do not have the required book.” Such a
Notice that the parent has used more of ‘I’ and hardly any ‘You’. ‘I’ describes my feelings, and the effect on me. ‘You’ sounds accusing, blaming and chastising.
her own development. The relationship is based on a lack of trust. As he grows older this method of discipline becomes less effective.
non-blaming statement worked wonders
The children too brought up issues
sorry. There seems to be no way of working
and her daughter developed a sense of
bothering them and made rules: Mummy
this out. You two need a break from each
responsibility over time.
and Daddy must not talk on the phone
other.” Each took their child to a different
from 7 pm - 9 pm! No hitting allowed in this
room to calm him down.
Instead of this, we often get emotional and melodramatic when describing the problem and its effect on us, especially with tasks
house.” They wrote it on a piece of paper and displayed it prominently.
that children find tedious. In such cases,
Parents need to take relevant action
constant reminders or playing the blame
when limits are broken.
game does not work. In fact, the child
Sometimes, despite the problem being
resists and switches off.
Such action sets boundaries for the child without punishing, blaming or making the child feel bad. 8
repeatedly described, and despite well-
When you state your expectation, the child
established expectations and rules, the
is able to look at situations with a different
situation goes out of control. At
perspective. A parent and child often see
this stage, a parent has to take
the same thing very differently, and we can
action, but in such a way that
ensure clarity by stating our expectations.
the child recognises
Expectations are neutral. They carry no
his boundaries.
blame or recrimination.
While Raju and Vikram were
Rules should be established, to prevent problem recurrence
playing, they started fighting
Do establish rules, because rules give
could do was take action. Each
children the norms of behaviour. Rules
picked up their child and said “I am
over a toy. They were getting very rough and were not inclined to listen to elders. The parents realized that all they
www.parentcircle.in 21
mindset
Responsibility through non-violent approaches
Resources PARENT
HOW TO TALK SO
EFFECTIVENESS
KIDS WILL LISTEN
TRAINING
AND LISTEN SO
• Start giving choices from an early age.
by Thomas Gordon
KIDS WILL TALK
When a child is given the power to choose
by Faber & Mazlish
at an early age, she develops the ability to discern, consider, evaluate and make choices for herself as she grows up. Examples: “Would you like to play with the car or the ball?”, “Do you want to stop playing now or after ten minutes?”, “ Which T-shirt do you prefer – the green or the red?”
Instead of yelling at a child about the mess
onto the bag as a reminder to tighten it. And
of spilt milk, a parent can show him ways
the solution worked well!
to make amends, ”Let’s get the mop and
As parents, we often take away choices
clean it”. He feels good about cleaning up
and opt for a straight ‘No’ because this is
and will try to be more careful the next time.
less work for us. Saying ‘No’ is inevitably, a
He also does not resort to denying his role
form of punishment, of denial. Instead of an
in the act.
outright refusal, give her limited choices.
When the child tears a page from a book, a positive response would be “Let’s get the
breakfast. Neha called her a fussy eater
cello-tape and stick it.” The child gets the
and insisted she cannot have anything
message that books are to be taken care of
else. Neha’s aim was to teach the child to
and he feels that he can set things right.
the breakfast, and to learn to eat what is given to her. But, when her husband asked for orange juice instead of tea, she realized that we all have the freedom to ask for variation, within limits. She then offered Ruchi the option of cornflakes or idlis. • Help the child develop a healthy attitude towards error. A child who can accept his mistake and make amends is an honest child.
responsibility without resentment. need to communicate to the child that “This is the help I can provide you with, but you must take the responsibility for some things. If you need more help, please ask.” We have to ensure that the child does not experience the situation as a punishment
• Teach the child problem-solving. This
or feel that the parent is abandoning him.
will stand him in good stead later in life.
For example, if he forgets his lunch box we
This method works very well with two children who are unable to agree on something. As a mediating parent, conclude only where there is a win-win situation and
still have to give him lunch in another box. But if he forgets his homework, facing the consequence in class will help him become more responsible.
The last word: Although disciplining
everyone is satisfied. In another example, a mother might say to her children “This is bothering me, what shall we do?” and together they would work on the problem.
with punishment or reward is what we are most familiar with, the results of using alternative, non-controlling methods are more effective in developing inner discipline and a sense of responsibility in
Remember to keep an open mind
children. Mutual trust and respect deepen
as children at any age often come
among parent and children, through such
up with surprising solutions. For
communication. Children grow up with a
instance, 3-year-old Diya would
healthy self-esteem.n
forget to close her bottle cap tightly and brought a wet school bag home every day. Her mother stated the problem and asked the child if she could think of a solution. Diya drew a bottle on a piece of paper and asked her mother to stick it
22 Parent Circle / October 2011
consequences. They then learn to take on Without saying “I told you so” we only
For instance, Ruchi did not want idlis for
be considerate of the person who is making
• Let the child learn from natural
Note: All stories and examples are real life but names of parents and children have been changed. SUPRIYA PADMANABHAN AND SUJATA DEWAJI ARE PART OF PARENTING MATTERS - AN ORGANISATION THAT CREATES FORUMS FOR PARENTS TO SHARE AND DISCUSS THEIR CONCERNS REGARDING PARENTING AND RECEIVE INPUTS ON PARENTING SKILLS.
cover story
Festival of Lights in India Our glorious country’s diversity shines through its myriad festivals but light is a common factor uniting all classes and communities pan India. While Deepavali is the most important ‘Festival of lights’, there are other festive days when many communities light traditional lamps and illuminate their houses. Here is a collation of celebrations across India.
Deepavali Deepavali, also known by its shortened form Diwali, is an amalgamation of two words: Deepa (light) and vali (line). So Deepavali literally means a row of lights. In most parts of India, the skies turn into a giant canvas with a plethora of fireworks painting it in different hues. This year, it falls on October 26th.
UTTAR PRADESH T H E L E G E N D A N D C E L E B R AT I O N S In Uttar Pradesh, the tradition of Dhanteras precedes Diwali by two days. During Dhanteras, people worship Goddess Lakshmi and new things are bought ranging from clothes to household items. On the second day of Dhanteras, the
by Smita Shenoy and Shashwathi Sandeep During the dark, dreary and cold days of winter, communities across the globe unanimously get together to light up memorable evenings through festivals and traditions. Though electricity may have banished darkness forever, traditional lights (candles and earthern lamps), and magical displays of coloured lights bring in a lot of bonhomie, goodwill and cheer. During this season, if pictures of the Earth were to be taken by a wandering spacecraft, on most evenings, some part of the Earth’s dark shadow would be specially illuminated!
24 Parent Circle / October 2011
Yam ka diya (Yama’s lamp) is lit. The legend goes that the horoscope of the King Hima’s 16 year old son indicated that he would die of a snake bite, four days after his wedding. On the fourth day after the wedding, his wife did not allow him to sleep. She laid down all her ornaments at the entrance of her husband’s room and lit innumerable lamps all around the place. She kept reciting stories and singing songs. When Yama, the God of Death, came in the guise of the snake, he was blinded by the lights. He then climbed up on the top of the ornaments and listened to the princess all through the night. He could not enter the prince’s chamber. In the morning, he had to return to his abode and the young princess was able to save
her husband from death. This is the reason that the Yam Deep is kept alive throughout the night.
THE TAMIL SHAIVITES AND VAISHNAVITES THE LEGEND
Deepavali comes at night when he bursts
During the Diwali festival, the houses are elaborately decorated with lit-up candles, lamps and electric lights. The women of the house apply mehendi (henna decoration on hands and feet) and draw rangoli (geometric floor designs) in front of the house. The curtains are changed and the house is white washed. “The people of Ayodhya had cleaned their houses and made it look as good as new to welcome Ram and Sita who were coming back after a 14 year exile to ascend the throne,” explains Sarvesh Upadhyay, a resident of Allahabad. Diyas (lamps) made of clay are lit outside the houses.
Lord Krishna slew the evil rakshasa
crackers with aplomb.
(demon) Narakasura on that day. Diwali
Kindergarten teacher Veda says, “Our
is celebrated to mark this triumph of
family members do not believe in wasting
good over evil. In addition, Vaishnavites
money on crackers as they say it is like
celebrate the festival to mark the birth
turning money into ash. We do anna daanam (feeding the poor) for some of the underprivileged people of the society on this day and their happiness gives us tremendous satisfaction.”
The evening pooja (prayer) is the most important as this is the actual beginning of the festival. “The pooja is performed according to the time specified by the pundit and all family members have to attend this. Both Lakshmi and Ganeshji are worshipped, one for wealth and the other for intelligence,” explained Sarvesh. People place small diyas on gold or silver thalis (plates), put a tilak (red mark) on the plate and place it in the pooja room. Diyas are lit in every room and outside too. Varanasi also celebrates Dev Deepavali on the Kartik Purnima day, 15 days after the actual Diwali. On this day, every house in Varanasi is lit with diyas. “We believe that on this day the Gods from heaven descend on earth and celebrate Diwali in Varanasi. It is also a tribute to River Ganga. The city looks beautiful with lakhs of diyas lit up throughout the city,” said Gautam Pandey, a resident of Varanasi. C H I L D S P E A K “Every year I make it a point to be at my grandparents’ house in Delhi during Diwali because all family members gather together on the occasion and I have lots of fun with my cousins. The part I relish about Diwali is the bursting of crackers and eating the delicious homemade sweets and savouries,” says Ankur Sharma, 12, a student of Chettinaad Vidyashram.
of Goddess Lakshmi, Lord Vishnu’s consort, in an ocean of milk (Tamil: paal
kadal; Sanskrit: Ksheer sagar). Lakshmi is the Goddess of happiness, prosperity and wealth and praying to her fills the household with riches and joy. T H E C E L E B R AT I O N S
Kutthu vilakkus (big metal lamps) are lit in the pooja room and trays laden with new clothes, fresh fruits, flowers, cash and jewels are kept here. Dried neem flowers, pepper, a pinch of turmeric and a red chilli are added to the oil prepared specifically for the massage before the bath, to remove negative energies. The ritual of applying a little oil on the head, and sindoor and turmeric on one’s feet (nalangu) is done by the mother or seniormost lady in the house. This is followed by singing of a hymn bestowing auspiciousness on all. Devotees then take an elaborate oil bath, using Ganga Jal (a little Ganga water is mixed into the bath water). All members consume the deepavali marundu (a special medicine to aid digestion) after this. They then partake of an elaborate traditional Deepavali feast. Lighting lamps on the threshold of the house is an integral part of the celebrations, though the Tamilians prefer to light myriad diyas during Karthigai Deepam, which coincides with the Dev Deepavali of Varanasi.
immediate family and my extended family.” For her son Shashank, 15, the best part of
THE MAHARASHTRIANS THE LEGEND The Maharashtrians, like the Vaishnavites, celebrate Deepavali to welcome Goddess Lakshmi into their homes. T H E C E L E B R AT I O N S Diwali is almost as big as Ganesh Chaturthi in Maharashtra. The festivities last for ten days with the last day being Lakshmi Pooja. The Gujaratis, especially the business community, who form a significant part of the populace of the state of Maharashtra do the Chopri Pooja. Chopri means account book and the people keep away the old book and start a new one with a token transaction to announce the beginning of a new commercial year. For Gujaratis, the New Year (Bestuvaras) begins the day after Diwali. Both these communities and the North Indians celebrate the Dhanteras and the Bhau Beej (which celebrates the brother-sister relationship), before and after Diwali. D E V O T E E S P E A K Educational counsellor Mala Kuppuswamy, who has spent 32 years in Maharashtra says, “The sanctum sanctorum in temples become a spectacle to behold as colourful diyas8
D E V O T E E S P E A K Uma Yogesh, Director, Thejomaya Centre of Excellence elaborates, “Light signifies the loss of ignorance and the gaining of knowledge. Lamps dispel the darkness both from the house and from the recesses of our minds. Besides lighting lamps, I also seek the blessings of all the elders of my
www.parentcircle.in 25
cover story
The importance of light Tamaso maa jyotirgamaya – from darkness unto light – is a very powerful mantra of the Hindus which attempts to reiterate the central role that light plays in our lives and its innate symbolisms, the main one being triumph of good over evil and knowledge over ignorance. Lighting a lamp before the start of any important event is considered auspicious as is the lighting of lamps in the pooja room at dawn and dusk. Different varieties are used during specific rituals. For instance, wheat flour lamps or rice flour lamps are used by Vaishnavites during Yamadipadana. Most Hindus believe light to be a manifestation of Surya, the Sun God, and seek to experience a part of his benevolence in their homes through lamps.
Performing aarti in front of the Lord has deep rooted spiritual relevance in the Hindu religion. The light of the lamp denotes our soul and the circular waving of the lamp before the deity denotes that our souls are a part of the Almighty. The camphor used in the aarti represents our sins which get completely burnt at the altar, when we seek His refuge.
illuminate the place and radiate positive vibes. Bhau Beej, observed the day after Diwali is an important part of Maharashtrian culture where brothers and sisters invite each other to their houses for a feast and sisters tie a sacred thread on the brothers’ wrists in return for a promise of protection.”
THE TELUGU COMMUNITY THE LEGEND Bhrungi Rishi, a great devotee of Lord Shiva, never prayed to the Divine Mother. To conquer his arrogance Devi Shakti (Parvati) sapped all his strength. She relented only when Lord Shiva pacified her and made the Rishi realise his folly of ignoring the Mother, since Kedar and Gowri (Shiva and Parvati) are two parts of the
In Kerala it is a conventional practice to hang lamps on both sides of the entrance of the house every evening (sandhya) to ward off evil spirits and to welcome guests. Keralites attach a special significance to light. Bangalore based homemaker Vineetha Menon says, “When I was in Kerala I used to place a lamp every evening in front of the tulsi plant in the courtyard of our ancestral house. Whenever I visit Kerala with my two daughters, I involve them
same force. The repentant sage performed the Kedar Gowri Vratham on Deepavali day and paid obeisance to both. T H E C E L E B R AT I O N S Lighting of lamps has tremendous relevance in the Telugu community. On Chaturdasi (the day before Deepavali Amavasya), all rooms in the house, including bathrooms, are filled with lamps. Sweets are distributed among family and friends. D E V O T E E S P E A K Veteran Sanskrit
in the lamp lighting ritual.”
scholar AG Tarabai says, “Normally, the
Nothing showcases the beauty of illumination more
it is believed to be the abode of Yama, the
than the Ganga Aarti at Har ki Pauri, a famous
Lord of Death. But on Chaturdasi, we keep
ghat in Haridwar. Har ki Pauri, which translates to ‘feet
lamps in all corners of the house. On that
of the Lord’, comes alive after sunset every day. The
day we seek the blessings of all the gods
ghat and adjoining ones become a hive of activity with
including Yamaraj. We use lamps made of
people jostling for a foothold on the crowded steps to
any metal, be it brass, bronze or silver but
get a view of the aarti. Devotees light diyas, place it
not steel as we believe that the combination
along with flowers on a plate made of stitched leaves
of steel and fire produces dushit vayu
and float it in the Ganges. Hundreds of such diyas
(polluted winds).”
bobbing gently in the calm waters of the Ganga form
THE BENGALIS (KALI PUJA)
an indelible image in the mind of the onlookers. The real spectacle begins when priests standing on the steps start the main aarti by swaying huge fire bowls to the blare of bhajans on the loudspeakers. The event reaches a crescendo when the devotees join in the singing and chanting.
northern side of the house is kept dark as
THE LEGEND Goddess Kali is known as the dark destroyer of evil. After drinking the blood of demon Raktabij to prevent each drop
The Ganga aarti is at its grandest during the Dev Diwali in Varanasi in UP. After
from touching the ground and giving birth to
Deepdaan or Deepotsav, the ritual of lighting lamps in the evening, celebrations culminate with the Ganga aarti. The aarti ends in about thirty to forty minutes but the impression it creates and the reverence it evokes are eternal.
countless other demons, Kali maa assumed
26 Parent Circle / October 2011
her rudra roop (terrible form) and went on a rampage while doing the taandav.8
cover story To pacify her rudra roop, Lord Shiva lay
family visits its elders and seeks
VA I S H N AV I T E L E G E N D
down in her path of destruction. Only
their blessings.
Vaishnavites celebrate it as the Vishnu
when the Goddess accidentally placed
THE SIKHS
Deepam by lighting a bonfire known as
her foot on Shiva’s chest did she realise her mistake and she stuck her tongue out in shame. Bengalis perform Kali Pooja to invoke the goddess.
THE LEGEND Sikhs too celebrate Diwali. It is believed that the 6th Guru of the Sikhs, Sri Hargobindji was imprisoned by the Mughal
T H E C E L E B R AT I O N S
Emperor Jahengir along with 52 other
As soon as darkness descends, the
Kings. While the emperor released Guru
streets come alive with the lighting of
Hargobindji, he did not release the kings.
candles, pradeep (small lamps) and vibrant
Sri Hargobindji requested the emperor
crackers to ward off the evil eye. Pooja and
to release them. The emperor told Guruji
khichudi bhog (a special Bengali dish) are
that he could take only as many kings
offered with utmost bhakti and dedication. In a significant deviation, in many parts of West Bengal, images of Shyama Kali (a more benign form of the Goddess) are worshipped instead of Kali’s traditional avatar with fearful eyes and a blood smeared face. D E V O T E E S P E A K Antara Bose, an assistant manager at an MNC in Kolkata, says, “For me Kali pooja has a very great relevance. I stay awake till the wee hours of morning until the pooja is complete and participate in all the rituals.”
THE JAINS THE LEGEND The 24th Jain Tirthankar, Mahavira, attained moksha (salvation) on Amavasya night. The Jains observe Diwali to commemorate the significant day. T H E C E L E B R AT I O N S
Sokkappanai in Vishnu shrines. It is said that when King Bali, who was well known for his generosity posed a threat to the Gods, they appealed to Lord Vishnu for help. The Lord in his Vamana (dwarf) avatar asked the king for a measure 8
who could hold on to his gown. “Guruji then stitched 52 flower buds on his gown, which the Kings held on to and they were released from the emperor’s clutches,” explained Harban Singh Anand, the General Secretary of the Gurudwara in Chennai. The day co-incidentally happened to be Diwali. T H E C E L E B R AT I O N S Guru Hargobind Sahib went to the Golden Temple in Punjab and the people lit thousands of lights in the temple and in their homes. To this day, people continue to do this. D E V O T E E S P E A K For the Sikhs, there is only one God. “He is the ultimate power and he is the guiding light. The Guru gives us light and guides us on the right path. That is also the reason why we light diyas on this day, every year,” said Harban Singh Anand.
ParentSpeak Maths tutor Kalaivani Asokan, mother to 18 year old Chandni says, “My daughter has always been fascinated by lamps. I religiously observe Karthigai Deepam and right from the time she started taking her first steps, she used to follow me around the house keenly observing what I was doing. When she turned twelve I decided it was time to let her participate in her favourite ritual. She comes with me when I buy the special oil for the lamp (a mixture of gingelly oil, castor oil, coconut oil,
Lamps are lit and placed all over the
neem oil and ghee), the special wicks
house, Lakshmi and Ganesha Pooja are performed and a variety of sweets are
Karthigai Deepam
made of thread (because traditional
made at home. Some Jains do not wear
THE LEGEND
the colourful designer clay lamps. She
new clothes or black coloured clothes this
Though there are several legends behind
day. Others observe upvaas (fast) for
helps me light the lamps and place
Karthigai Deepam, the main belief pertains
three days.
them in the pooja room, on thresholds,
to the birth of Lord Muruga. Muruga
in the corners of the house and in the
D E V O T E E S P E A K Hindi tutor Nidhi Jain
(Karthikeyan) was born as six different
verandah. She has been helping me
says, “We light the akhanda deep in front
babies to Lord Shiva and was later joined into a single entity by Goddess Parvati.
thus, for the past six years.”
of God and ensure that it keeps burning till 4 am, the time of salvation. I wake up
Celebrated with splendour in Tamil Nadu
periodically to check and refill the lamp
and Kerala in the month of Karthigai
live looks magnificent in the evening,
with oil. We don’t burst crackers.” Nidhi’s
(around November – December), it is an
with each brightly lit house looking like
sons, Yash (12) and Siddhant (15) actively
auspicious occasion for both Shaivites
a giant lamp. I cannot imagine a sight
participate in the rituals and prayers. The
and Vaishnavites.
more beautiful than this.”
28 Parent Circle / October 2011
cotton thread will not last long) and
Chandni says, “The street where we
cover story of land that he (Vamana) could cover in three steps. As soon as the king agreed, Vishnu assumed a gigantic form. With two steps, the Lord covered the Earth and the skies. With no more space to keep his third foot, the King asked Vamana to place his foot on his head so that he could honour his promise. The Lord’s third step sent Bali to the underworld. The bonfire lit on Vishnu Deepam marks this event. T H E C E L E B R AT I O N S While Deepavali is observed on amavasya, Karthigai Deepam/Vishnu Deepam is held
HANUKKAH
THE FESTIVAL OF LIGHTS IN LYON
on the following full moon day. Besides commemorating Lord Karthikeyan’s birth and Lord Vishnu’s triumph, lamps are also lit for a happy married life and the wellbeing of children. All Hindu homes and temples are illuminated by rows of
agal vilakkus (traditional lamps) lending an ethereal glow to the atmosphere. D E V O T E E S P E A K Says Gita Shankar, “Potters craft beautifully designed earthern lamps during this festival. It is our custom to buy some new lamps every year to add on to our existing collection.’’
ST. LUCIA’S DAY IN SWEDEN
Around the World FRANCE T H E
F E S T I VA L O F
L I G H T S I N LY O N (December 8th) is dedicated to Mother Mary, the mother
get up and eat the served breakfast, thus ushering in the Christmas season. It is celebrated in honour of St.Lucia, the patron saint of light and brightness who always wore a crown of light on her head.
SHAIVITE LEGEND
of Jesus. It is celebrated in the month of
Lord Shiva asked Lord Brahma and Lord
December every year. On this day, every
JEWS T R A D I T I O N S
Vishnu to find out the exact location of His
house keeps rows of candles on the
H A N U K K A H The festival is celebrated by
head and His feet. Since He had assumed
windowsills, thus lighting up the streets
the Jewish people. Hannukah is celebrated
of Lyon. The Basilica of Fourviere glows
around the world for eight days and nights,
with different colours and the Place des
beginning on the 25th day of the month of
Terreaux (a square located in the centre
Kislev on the Hebrew calendar and ending
of Lyon and a heritage site) plays host to a
on the second day of the Hebrew month of
different light show every year.
Tevet, sometime between late November
SWEDEN F E S T I V A L
and late December.
a gigantic form, they were unable to find him anywhere. Then Lord Shiva appeared before them in the form of a blazing, endless flame on the Thiruvannamalai hill thus giving rise to the Annamalai Deepam. C E L E B R AT I O N S A blazing light (fire) is lit at the summit during the Kartigai Deepam, and this light is expected to burn continuously till the end of the month. No logs are used to light the fire. Instead yards of cloth dipped in
OF LIGHT:
S T . L U C I A ' S D A Y The festival of Santa Lucia begins before dawn throughout Sweden on December 13th. The eldest daughter in each household dresses in a long white gown tied with a red sash and wears a crown of lingonberry leaves
OF LIGHT:
Over 2000 years ago, a small group of Jews called Maccabees recaptured Jerusalem from the Syrian King who attacked them. After cleaning the temple, they could find only enough oil to light the
Hanukkiya (a candelabrum) for one day.
ghee turn into a huge wick, with the hill
in which are set seven lighted candles.
becoming the lamp! The light is considered
She heads a procession that includes her
to be the equivalent of Lord Shiva's Jyoti,
sisters and brothers also dressed in white,
that simmers deep underground in the hill,
holding lighted candles, and singing about
and is brought out into the open during
the light and joy of Christmas. Awakened
A special candle holder called the Menorah
this festival.
by the lights and the singing, the parents
or Hanukkiya, holds 9 candles. Eight of8
30 Parent Circle / October 2011
Miraculously, the oil lasted for eight days. Hanukkah is an eight day celebration of this miracle.
cover story
LOI KRATHONG FESTIVAL IN THAILAND
BRAZIL NEW YEAR’S EVE
KWANZAA IN THE US
these candles represent the eight days of the miracle of the eternal flame. The ninth candle in the middle is called the Shamash (Helper candle) and is used for lighting the other candles. On the first night of Hanukkah only the first candle is lit with the
Shamash. Each night, for the remaining seven nights, a new candle is lit and they all burn brightly on the last night.
THAILAND F E S T I V A L
OF LIGHT:
L O I K R A T H O N G F E S T I V A L ‘Loi’
BRANDENBURG GATE, BERLIN
CHRISTMAS AT COLOSSEUM, ROME
means ‘to float’ and a ‘krathong’ is a lotusshaped vessel made of banana leaves.
Freedom. It is a 7 day celebration, each
parts of the city. A ten-mile run through the
This is celebrated in Thailand in November
day linked to one core principle.
illuminated streets concludes the festival.
The kinara (a special holder) houses seven
WORLDWIDE C H R I S T M A S
candles representing the seven principles
up the Christmas tree is an important
of African culture. On December 26, the
part of the festival, celebrating the birth
first candle is lit in the kinara. It is the
of Jesus Christ. In the olden days,
black candle in the middle which is the
Christians were persecuted for having
unity candle and represents the colour
mass. A candle on the window indicated
of the people. The 3 red candles to the
the place where the mass would be held
left symbolize blood and the struggle for
for a community. It was in the middle of
freedom. The 3 green candles to the right
the 17th century that small candles were
each year, on the night of a full moon. The krathong usually contains a candle, three joss-sticks, some flowers and coins. People carry their krathongs to the nearby rivers. After lighting the candles and making a wish, they place the krathongs on the water and let them drift away. It is believed that the krathongs carry away bad luck.
BRAZIL N E W
Y E A R ' S E V E On this
Lighting
symbolize hope and freedom. On each
used to light up the Christmas tree and
day, people go to the beach at midnight
day, a candle is lit.
this has evolved over the
and ask Lemanja, (goddess of the Ocean
BERLIN F E S T I V A L
in Afro-American cult), to give them good luck. Hundreds of candles are lit in the sand. People throw white flowers into the water as a gift to Lemanja. They also give her combs and perfume. The celebrations, along with drumming and singing, begin at midnight and go on until dawn.
UNITED STATES K W A N Z A A
OF LIGHTS
takes place from October 12th to 25th each year giving the locals and tourists an insight into the city’s architecture. During this week, prominent architectural works in Berlin which include tourist hubs like the Brandenburg Gate, Unter den Linden Boulevard, Gendarmenmarkt Square,
and colours of lights. House exteriors, public buildings, famous tourist spots are also decorated with lights. n
Hauptbahnhof train station, TV Tower,
Kwanzaa is celebrated by African
Charlottenburg palace and the Berliner
Americans and it links African traditions
Dom are illuminated with gold, blue, red
with American customs. Started just
and green lights and look spectacular.
39 years ago by an African American
Fireworks follow. The purpose is to draw
professor, Dr Maulana Karenga, it focuses
attention to Berlin's history and beauty
on the 7 core principles: 0ne for Unity, two
during the increasingly dark days. Light-
for Freedom and three for the Struggle for
seeing tours are also hosted in different
32 Parent Circle / October 2011
years to different types
SMITA SHENOY IS A FREELANCE WRITER.
(LEFT) MODEL: Vasisht Srinivasan KURTA: Sundari Silks (RIGHT) MODEL: Nikhil Ramkumar OUTFIT: Sundari Silks
MODEL: Aarya Manish OUTFIT: Hunky Dory
Jain
(LEFT) MODEL: S Navayauvan OUTFIT: Hunky Dory (RIGHT) MODEL: Niya Sohrab OUTFIT: Hunky Dory
MODEL: Harshini Krishna OUTFIT: Sundari Silks
feature
by Bhuvana B G
A
rts-Based-Therapy (ABT)
the process of ABT, the subconscious
number of children referred by NGOs,
is defined as the clinical
brings into the open, matters that we
who needed to be rehabilitated into the
and evidence-based
have been suppressing over time due to
mainstream of life and I have documented
use of art-forms (music,
various reasons. These issues finally get
a number of case studies.
drama and visual arts)
addressed and are placed in the proper
OTHER APPLICATIONS
to accomplish individualized goals within
perspective. Just as we do physical
a therapeutic relationship. ABT provides
exercises to keep bad health at bay, ABT
clients/patients with a non-threatening
serves as a mind-cleansing exercise.
environment enabling them to be
MY PERSONAL EXPERIENCE When I
themselves and to express themselves
v
ABT is widely used to benefit children
with special needs, child-abuse survivors, victims of broken families, children and adults having developmental delays/mental
went for my first training programme in Art
disorders, and during de-addiction and
therapy, I had to do a free-style drawing
other psychosocial rehabilitation phases.
activity using two different colours. I
v
In ABT, the drawing/other activities are
chose blue and yellow oil pastels, colours
cancer and other trauma patients, to help
not judged for perfection of the art. It is
well-liked by me and my father, who had
them deal with the trauma more effectively.
only the expression that is noted by the
died when I was 13. I had never really
v
ABT practitioner. Therefore children are
gotten over his death and was continually
behavioural therapy. It helps build self-
quite uninhibited in what they do during
missing him. This session not only helped
esteem and motivates them in goal setting.
these sessions - there is space for self-
me get in touch with my deep, inner
v
exploration. Imagination and creativity
feelings, it also helped me cope with them
lessons on safety, guide them to overcome
are enhanced. When thought flows are
successfully.
fear and understand early signs of sexual
with ease; this makes the world a better place for them to live in.
captured in the form of paintings, music and rhythm, dance movements, or roleplay, the body and mind are harmonised. Children learn to accept themselves better. The ‘coping mechanism’ in them gets strengthened.
WHO CAN TAKE ABT Anybody can
As I drew, holding both the colours together, using them in parallel, as per the instructions, I arrived at the realisation that my father’s eternal presence was with me and that there was no reason for me to feel sad. There were a few other participants who had their own experiences and
take it up. People believe in consulting
meanings – strong and personal,
mental health professionals only if there
associated with the activity. For me, the
is a problem. But ABT can be used even
outcome was completely unexpected. That
under casual circumstances, to handle the
was when I was convinced about ABT’s
day to day minor challenges. Often during
potential. Subsequently I worked with a
38 Parent Circle / October 2011
ABT is also used with HIV survivors,
It works well for children as a
It can also be used to teach children
harassment.
met. Such sessions are particularly useful
in developmental milestones, and was
communication tool within family members
for traumatised and withdrawn children
hyperactive. He is being treated by a
helping them sort out their issues
as it helps them socialize and recover
neurologist and has been coming to
without arguments.
faster. Each session (individual or group)
ABT for the last six months. He is now
HOW IT IS USED It is a two-step
lasts for about 45-90 minutes depending
continually able to spend 45 minutes at a
on the requirements. A minimum of 8
time on activities in the ABT sessions, an
to12 sessions are planned to address a
increase from the 10 minutes at the start of
particular need.
the therapy.
some therapeutic objectives for the child
Every ABT session has an opening ritual to
At home too, the child is able to spend
and devises a therapy plan. To achieve
ease the child and a closing ritual to make
20-30 minutes on constructive activities,
those objectives stage by stage, the child
the child relax and come back into the
suggested by the ABT practitioner. ABT
normal world after the intensity of
has also identified the child’s interest in
the therapy.
music and now he spends more time
v
ABT can also serve as a
process. Initially, the child’s problem is explained by the care-giver from his viewpoint. The ABT practitioner draws up
is given a topic in each session and the tools to create the image or setting that the child wants for herself. The topics, varied as ‘Do you feel safe’ or ‘Going to
ABT CAN BE USED TO TEACH SUBTLE LESSONS In one ABT session
school’ or ‘Your family’.
on ‘Understanding physical boundaries’,
depending on the objective, could be as
The tools could be actual props to set up a background for a role-play, or clay to make objects, paint brushes/paints or colours. Story narration, writing lyrics, composing tunes, making collages, playing the drums
the children were asked to construct their own private rooms with the given props and then they were told to invite friends. This exercise was done to prevent children from barging into rooms belonging to
listening to and playing music. The child is able to comprehend a few words, repeat songs and short sentences and communicate his needs better through limited words, actions and sounds. Some of his sessions involve outdoor play, during which time he has started playing with mud and leaves. Such ‘normal’ activities were
others, (including their siblings), and freely
missing earlier.
using the objects they find over there. As the lesson progressed, they learnt
TO COPE WITH A PHYSICAL ILLNESS After being discharged from
to refuse entry, and also to accept ‘No’
hospital, a haemophilic child presented
as an answer without feeling rebuffed.
his happy and painful experiences in the
They learnt the importance of asking
hospital through his painting. This session
The second step involves discussion/
permission before entering someone else’s
not only helped him deal with the pain
counselling centred on the drawn images/
boundaries. Through this exercise, children
of internal bleeding, but also helped him
output, rather than a direct, straightforward
learnt to respect each other’s privacy and
cherish the memorable moments spent
discussion with the child about his
physical space.
with his new friends from hospital. He
problem. These two steps are repeated
ABT WITH A DEVELOPMENTALLY DELAYED CHILD In a case study,
came to terms with his illness, became
are also encouraged. With these tools or tool of choice, the child creates an output. As art and all such expressions spring from the inner self, the child comes face to face with his problem.
until the child gets the insight of addressing the problem himself. If the child asks the practitioner for guidance, she gives it.
ABT had improved the attention span of a four-year-old boy who had developed
ABT therapies are held for groups too,
epilepsy after an injury at 11 months of
when there is a common objective to be
age. He had also started lagging behind
more positive about his outlook and started focussing on the several things that he could do.
SINGLE PARENTING PROBLEM A mother of three children was having a 8
www.parentcircle.in 39
feature
How ABT helped a middle school child She is a middle school child, and lives with her mother and younger brother. She lost her father when she was six years old. That was when she got her first epileptic fit. Soon she developed a high anxiety about losing her mother. She never left her mother alone; she used to escape from school during breaks to ensure that her mother was safe. After some years, the medication for epilepsy was discontinued. As time went by, her interest in school also declined. She was referred to ABT activities at the age of 11. At this stage, her anger levels were very high. The family’s lack of empathy had added even more pressure on the child resulting in maladaptive behaviours. The child had to take psychiatric medication for conduct disorder, as diagnosed by a psychiatrist. At the beginning of ABT, she even had symptoms of hallucinations and delusions. It took almost 2 months, and eight ABT sessions to build a rapport with the child. During ABT, the girl was found to be bold and courageous in her actions, though she was violent sometimes. Her self-esteem was very low; she did not attempt to engage in any activity. She had no friends. To help her socialize, she was asked to join a group session on arts-based-therapy. After total non-participation in the initial sessions, she slowly started participating in them. She (like anybody else) was given the flexibility of joining or leaving the sessions whenever she wanted. The non-threatening atmosphere worked well for her.
problem with her eldest son (age 14), who was constantly challenging her authority. The mother had separated from the father, as he was only visiting the family every few months and didn’t take care of the family. The eldest son did not approve of the separation. Familiar with the male domination culture, he felt that in his father’s absence, he had to dominate the family, particularly the mother. The mother and her three sons were individually counselled through ABT and the family came together for the final ‘mediating’ therapy. Through clay models of a family of birds, the mother managed to explain how the mother bird hoped to take care of her children in the father’s absence and why the separation was in the best interests of the family. The eldest son finally understood his own role as a family member and his own responsibilities within the family.
OVERCOMING GUILT For a child
Initially, all her work used to be very rapid. A few partnering activities involving games, skill-building activities, collage, movements, clay etc. with other children helped her develop coordination. ABT also provided opportunities for her to give and receive compliments. As the sessions progressed, her socialization also progressed.
whose parents were undergoing
During her last group session, in a story drawing activity, her major support system (in the drawing) were her friends from the group. This showed that the child had moved from the stage of being alone to having a group of friends.
the child was given a set of props (wooden
Later, she was provided with individual sessions to help her deal better with her emotions. She adopted a tree as her symbol of support. The tree provided several resources for everyone - it provided shade, helped bring in rain, was strongly rooted etc. This tree was a real inspiration to this child; she very often related this tree to her departed father.
experiences of the past. Then, at the time
In one of her ABT sessions, she composed her own song about this tree which was sung as a ritual before beginning her therapy sessions.
and enjoy itself whether the parents are
The child now confided to the ABT practitioner that she wanted her mother also to be like a tree, so that she could stay with her all along. Through ABT, she was able to verbalise how much she missed her mother who left her alone while she went to work. ABT activities were also devised to motivate her to go to school. One day in school, the child for the very first time, attempted to take on a leadership role and was appreciated and applauded by all the students in the class. She was now ‘accepted’ at school. Even though she was not able to pass all her subjects, she developed the motivation to do better the next time. She now has more than 90% attendance at school. One fine day the child called the ABT practitioner to tell her that she had been promoted to the next grade.
40 Parent Circle / October 2011
separation, the therapist’s goal was to make her understand that she was neither responsible for their separation, nor for their reunion. After some ABT sessions, birds) to formulate a story. This story (through the birds) reflected her family of discussion, some questions were asked about the future of the ‘child’ bird. Her answers were very sharp and clear. She stated that the baby bird has to play, study together or not and that the baby bird was not responsible for any decision made by the adults. Talk therapy went hand in hand during this session.n
(The results are based on sustained ABT intervention and proper follow up. A sustained result becomes difficult when ABT is discontinued mid-way.) BHUVANA B G IS A CHENNAI-BASED COUNSELLING PSYCHOLOGIST, A CERTIFIED ARTS-BASED-THERAPY (ABT) PRACTITIONER AND A SPARE TIME STORYTELLER, PASSIONATE ABOUT WORKING WITH AND FOR CHILDREN.
health circle infants. After a certain age though, if milk is not supplemented with other foods, it could lead to deficiencies of iron, zinc, Vitamin K and Vitamin D. CAUSES OF DEFICIENCY
Our food is not what it used to be. It is more processed, sugar-laden, nutrient deficient, chemically loaded and damaging to our system.
by Dr Santha Narayanan
N
utrition intake is the key determinant to a child’s survival, growth and development. Different nutrients are required to carry out the normal vital functions of the body. Nutrients in adequate amounts are required to perform their specific functions; their deficiency leads to changes in the body, producing clinical features. The body’s needs change as it grows and babies have different nutritional needs compared to that of elders and pregnant women.
The signs and symptoms of nutritional deficiency are mainly: 1. Loss of appetite 2. Growth retardation 3. Skin and mucous membrane changes 4. Impaired learning 5. Weakness 6. Confusion 7. Loss of memory 8. Psychosis 9. Peripheral oedema, etc Human milk has a unique nutrient profile which is the ideal food for neonates and
vitamin a deficiency
It is found in malnourished children and in children with inadequate intake of Vitamin A. It is a fat soluble vitamin. BENEFITS It is essential to prevent eye
problems that could lead to blindness. SYMPTOMS OF DEFICIENCY
1. Abnormal visual adaptation to darkness 2. Dry skin, dry hair 3. Broken finger nails 4. Decreased resistance to infection are the first signs of Vitamin A deficiency Bitot’s spots, white flake-like lesion seen on the dry Conjunctiva are usually seen during the last stages. It can also lead to Night Blindness. FACTORS INFLUENCING VITAMIN A DEPLETION
1. Iron deficiency affects Vitamin A uptake 2. In Protein Energy Malnutrition, Vitamin A is depleted 3. Poor intake of Vitamin A rich foods 4. Early weaning from breast milk FOOD SOURCES: carrot, broccoli, sweet potato, butter spinach,
pumpkin, liver of beef, pork, chicken, fish, turkey including cod liver oil, deep yellow orange vegetables and fruits.
42 Parent Circle / October 2011
In today’s fast-paced world, there is not enough time to sit down and have a meal. The influence of T.V, busy parents, skipping meals due to lack of time, the changing tastes of children due to western influences, several fast food outlets, unhealthy eating practices, ignorance of our own nutritional requirements and the nutritional content and values of the foods we eat, are all contributing factors to nutritional deficiencies. The most common deficiency diseases we see in our day to day practice are vitamin, mineral and protein deficiencies. In this issue we will be highlighting vitamin and iodine deficiencies and the benefits if taken in adequate quantity.
vitamin b1 (thiamine) BENEFITS
1. Supports production of Hydrochloric acid for the digestive system. 2. Promotes mental alertness and memory. 3. Needed for blood cell formation. 4. Crucial for healthy nervous system. 5. Needed for normal muscle tone of the heart, stomach and intestines. 6. Critical for carbohydrate metabolism and energy production. SYMPTOMS OF DEFICIENCY
Deficiency leads to Beri Beri. The symptoms for Beri Beri include: 1. Excessive fatigue 2. Muscle weakness 3. Loss of appetite 4. Loss of sensation in hands and legs 5. Recurrent aphthous ulcers (or) oral ulcers 6. Stunted growth 7. Forgetfulness (or) mental confusion 8. Severe deficiency leads to dementia FOOD SOURCES: mushrooms, sunflower seeds, vegetables,
asparagus, broccoli, sprouts, lettuce, spinach, tomato, animal liver, egg yolk, fish lean meat, nuts, chickpeas, dhal, soya bean, rice bran, wheat germ, whole grain, unpolished rice and oatmeal.
vitamin b12 (cobalamin) BENEFITS
1. Essential for red blood cell production 2. Needed to make DNA 3. Required for healthy nerve function SYMPTOMS OF DEFICIENCY
1. Sore tongue 2. Weight loss and loss of appetite 3. Loss of balance, palpitation 4. Memory loss, dementia
5. Dandruff 6. Retarded growth 7. Anaemia in infants
FOOD SOURCES: dairy products, egg yolk, kidney, meat,
sea foods
vitamin b2 (riboflavin) BENEFITS
1. Healthy vision 2. Alleviate eye fatigue 3. Energy production 4. Helps prevent migraines 5. Required for production of antibodies 6. Needed for red cell formation 7. Maintains levels of other B12 Vitamins 8. Important for foetal development during pregnancy 9. Lowers risk of cardio vascular disease SYMPTOMS OF DEFICIENCY
vitamin d BENEFITS
1. Maintains right level of calcium in blood 2. For growth and development of bones/teeth 3. Builds bone density 4. Stimulates production of insulin 5. Protects against cancer and heart disease SYMPTOMS OF DEFICIENCY
1. Rickets, skeletal deformities 4. Retarded growth 2. Increased risk of diabetes due 5. Bone fractures to insufficient insulin produced 3. Hypocalcaemia - muscle cramps, twitching of nerves and muscles FOOD SOURCES: fish liver oils, animal liver, egg yolk, milk fortified
with vitamin d, sweet potatoes.
iodine BENEFITS Iodine is needed for Thyroid hormone and as this
cannot be made by the body, it has to be supplemented. SYMPTOMS OF DEFICIENCY
1. Thyroid gland enlargement (Goitre) 2. Hypothyroidism 3. Mental retardation 4. In pregnant women, this leads to miscarriages, stillbirth, pre-term delivery, congenital anomalies of babies. 5. Congenital hypothyroidism in children is a preventable cause of mental retardation if the mother takes adequate Iodine during pregnancy. 6. Cretinism is a severe form of hypothyroidism which produces short stature, mental retardation, brain damage spasticity. TREATMENT FOR THYROID DEFICIENCY Iodine supplements,
multivitamins containing Iodine and fortifying food with Iodine FOOD SOURCES: dairy products, fortified salt, breads, eggs, sea
food, meat (Excess intake causes hyperthyroidism, though this is less common than hypothyroidism)
1. Dermatitis - peeling of skin around nose 2. Cracks around corners of mouth or lips 3. Sore throat, sore tongue
4. Loss of appetite, taste 5. Anaemia 6. Nervousness 7. Eyes that burn/ sensitive to light
FOOD SOURCES: beans, chicken, eggs, dairy products, fish lean
meat, vegetables, asparagus, broccoli, brussels sprouts.
vitamin b6 (pyridoxine) BENEFITS
1. Helps immune system to produce antibodies 2. Helps produce energy 3. Protein metabolism 4. Essential for new cell formation and growth 5. Promotes healthy skin 6. Helps treat depression 7. Controls blood levels of homosysteine prevents heart attack, stroke SYMPTOMS OF DEFICIENCY
1. Eczema (or) Dermatitis 2. Cracks or sores on lips or mouth 3. Inflammation of mucous membranes of mouth and tongue 4. Leg cramps
5. Numbness of hands and feet 6. Chronic fatigue 7. Increased susceptibility to infections like Asthma
FOOD SOURCES: bananas, chickpeas, potatoes, raw rice, bran,
spinach, turnip, greens, yeast, eggs, chicken, garlic, nuts, vegetables such as asparagus, broccoli, brussel, sprouts, cabbage, carrots, cauliflower, wheat germ and whole grains. In conclusion, we need to provide children with a balanced diet that includes a minimum of 3-4 servings of fruits and vegetables every day. Early recognition and treatment of nutritional deficiencies will help the children lead happy and healthy lives. In the next issue, we will be highlighting the effects of mineral and protein deficiencies. n DR SANTHA NARAYANAN IS A PRACTISING PAEDIATRICIAN FROM CHENNAI.
www.parentcircle.in 43
learning
The art of storytelling by S Seshadri
S
tory-telling is an art that has given joy and instruction to children since the beginning of time. In this form of art, we talk of an event or series of events, true
or imaginary. Story telling has many values. Some of them are: n It gives children an opportunity to
especially the Ramayana,
become acquainted with the best of
Mahabharata, Jataka
children’s literature.
tales, Panchatantra,
n Stories talk about varied lives and
Fairy tales of Hans
prevailing cultures. This creates a curiosity
Christian Andersen
in children to know more `about those
and Grimms’
times and such people’.
Fairy Tales.
n It increases a child’s knowledge and
suitable stories for different age groups
enriches his vocabulary. n It helps build an ethical value system. n It develops a child’s listening skills. n When the child tells a story, she learns to organize and express herself clearly. She becomes confident in facing an audience.
Ages 2 to 5 For this age group, the stories must be short and to the point. Stories should talk about familiar things that the child can relate to, like animals,
Selecting stories
children, home, machines, people, toys,
Traditionally grandparents have played
and poems, jingles. Typical stories would
As a well-prepared storyteller, make
the role of storytellers with stories from our
include: ‘The Three Little Pigs’, ‘The Three
sure that each story you tell contains
Epics or Puranas that have some values to
Bears’, ‘The Adventures of Little Red
the five basic elements: Action, drama,
teach. Often, when grandparents are not
Riding Hood’, ‘Thumbelina’ and more.
emotional appeal, a strong beginning, and
Ages 6 to 10 Animal tales, stories of
a satisfying conclusion. In order to supply
available, the young mother has to don the role of a story teller.
rhymes, humorous and nonsense stories
children living in other lands, and the
Basic Story Elements
stories with these characteristics, it is often necessary to rewrite or shorten stories to
Story telling plays an important part in
ancient and modern fairy tales appeal
moulding the child’s personality and value
to this group. Examples of such stories:
system. Anyone can be a good story
‘The Elves and the Shoemaker’, ‘
teller with a little practice and a genuine
Rumpelstiltskin’, ‘The Steadfast Tin
interest in the characters narrated in
Soldier’, ‘Hansel and Gretel’, ‘The Sleeping
the stories. As a mother you can select
Beauty’ and ‘Jack and the Beanstalk’, tales
Much time and effort is required to prepare
suitable stories from various sources –
from Panchatantra and our epics.
a story for narration, but the effort is 8
44 Parent Circle / October 2011
make them more suitable for a child-audience.
Preparing the story
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learning rewarding. A typical preparation of a story
n Use gestures sparingly, as these
would run as follows:
distract attention from the story and bring
n Select an appropriate story. n Know the story completely before you narrate it. Read the story the first time to get its flavour, then reread with specific attention towards the plot. n Read the story once again. This time look for the distinguishing features of the dialogue, the unique quality of the characters, the setting of the story. n Focus on ‘the four’: the introduction, the
focus onto the story teller instead. Facial gestures are enough. n A dramatic repetition of the story increases the enjoyment of the story and enriches the vocabulary of younger children. n Your child may become occasionally distracted. Then you may ask the child a “And, what do you think happened next?”
The child as story teller
introduction has to be short, to the point, and if needed, memorized. The body of the story contains the action, the series of steps that lead to the climax. The story-teller must visualise each of these steps in the story while narrating.
Children are imaginative and they can build stories out of home events or classroom activities that are of interest to them. Activity expeditions, gardening, special days, festivals can also give rise to stories. Children enjoy telling stories that are real
The climax is the heart of the story,
or imaginary, stories they have read or
giving meaning to the whole. Whatever
listened to or something that they have
impression you wish to make on the child,
made up on their own. It is their way of
whatever message has to be passed on to
sharing a moment with their friends
him, has to be emphasized here.
or audience. As a parent, listen with
The conclusion merely ties up the loose ends, and does not convey any new idea.
Telling the story A few principles relating to story telling:
interest and encourage the child to: n Speak clearly. n Look at his audience. n Use colourful words. n Have a good beginning and ending. n Talk naturally.
n Children prefer stories with dialogue. n A story should contain no more than four characters. The children cannot follow any more. n Never memorize stories verbatim. Do commit to memory the necessary phrases or snapshots of interesting dialogue that lend drama - ‘Once upon a time’, ‘Somebody is sleeping on my bed’ etc. n Some stories are better read than told. Choose only such stories that lend themselves well for narration. n Shortening the tale and deleting descriptive passages are acceptable practices. n By recording a story and listening to it, you can improve your pitch, range and voice volume.
46 Parent Circle / October 2011
Listen to records: Some records may be recordings of stories told by children. Commercial story records may also be used. n S SESHADRI CURRENTLY SERVES AS ADMINISTRATOR OF EDUCATION IN MADRAS CEMENTS LIMITED. HE HAS VAST EXPERIENCE IN THE FIELD OF SCHOOL EDUCATION AND TRAINING OF TEACHERS.
rhetorical question:
body, the climax, and the conclusion. To hold a listener’s attention, the
child can immediately repeat aloud.
What you and your child can do together His turn to tell: You tell the story first. The story may be retold in a few sentences by your child assuming different roles. Developing a story: You can begin an imaginary story in which you introduce a couple of characters and an action plot. At a given point you can stop and ask: “Can you go on with the story?” The story can proceed as an oral activity. Participating in story-telling: On the subsequent telling of the tale, you can pantomime and make the sound which the
Some resources on the web Story Arts Online Story telling activities, lesson plans, bibliographies and links are featured on this excellent site. Also features a free newsletter. Art of Story Telling Online story resources, list of story tellers and organizations as well as links to other story telling websites. Handbook for Story Tellers Online text resource with tips and ideas for a variety of story telling techniques. Story Games Extension of the Handbook for Story Tellers website, this has classroom activities that can be used to encourage the story teller in any student. Kids Story Telling Club This fun site features crafts, activities, and stories. Maintained by Story Craft Publishing. Preschool Education This site is maintained by Preschool Magazine. Story-telling themes, finger-plays and free downloadable flannel board props are just a few of the great resources that can be found here. Child Fun Based on the premise that parenting and teaching children is fun, this site has a wealth of ideas and free props (flannel board and puppet patterns to name a few) for story telling.
teen circle
When BlackBerrys and Apples cause indigestion!
online gambling on the net, and projecting whatever personality one wants in a chat room. This addiction has detrimental effects on a person’s physical, mental, social and spiritual well-being. Rahul’s preoccupation with his online activities for instance, was putting him at the risk of a serious addiction to technology. He was exhibiting the symptoms of Internet Addictive Disorder (IAD) a state where teenagers rather spend their time only on the Internet than doing
by Leela B and Samyuktha Y G
E
by playing such games, the thrills of
anything else. IAD can also lead to the neglect of health and
verytime C S Sharma looks at
and then late into the night. His attention
his son Rohit (13) absorbed
span at school and his classwork were
in his video game, chatting on
affected. Whenever his parents intervened,
Facebook, or texting feverishly,
Rahul got agitated and shouted at them,
he recalls his own teenage
demanding that they leave him alone.
If you have any qualms about your child’s
Everybody agrees that technology is
questions to get a clear understanding of
days. Those cricketing days on makeshift pitches, the relaxing board games with family and friends and those special outings, were just not happening today. Hundreds of parents can identify with him. Sharma’s concern, on the many ‘screen’ hours that are spent by his teen on various digital devices is also not unfounded.
a productive tool for education and communication. The Internet is a source
hygiene. It produces maladaptive sleep patterns, inhibits social growth, and even brings about anxiety and depression. behaviour, ask yourself the following the situation:
of information to school-goers. Mobile
A Does your teenager frequently disobey
phones for teenagers can be a boon for
time limits for internet/television/phone/
parents who worry about the safety of
videogames use?
their children. At the same time, teenagers
A Does your teenager spend excessive
today are obsessed with going ‘online’ and
amounts of time ‘lost’ in technology?
In fact, Sharma’s good friend Derek
living a life in the world of the web. The
Verghese, till recently, had a challenge
word ‘addictive’ seems to describe their
with his own son, Rahul. Rahul had
involvement in technological activities.
completed his 10th standard exams and
Many parents are unsure if their children
wanted to relax. He started surfing the net,
are going overboard with their digital
the family?
chatting and playing games online. Soon,
devices. How much is too much?
A Does your teenager check his mail or
DEFINING ADDICTION TO TECHNOLOGY
mobile before doing anything else?
the time span on these activities increased to as much as 4 hours a day. A different kind of compulsion was building up! His mother had to constantly remind
Technology addiction is a psychological condition caused by continually wanting
A Does your teenager prefer spending time online/ on the phone/ watching television rather than with the rest of
A Does she/he become angry, depressed, or withdrawn when technology is unavailable?
to enhance the positive feelings and
A Does your teenager snap, yell or act
domestic tasks. Rahul cut himself off from
stimuli obtained from using gadgets. Such
annoyed, if interrupted while online or
all social activities; Facebook chatting took
stimuli include the highs of winning in
while watching television or while on
priority every morning, again post-school,
online games, chasing away loneliness
the phone? 8
him to eat his meals and complete other
48 Parent Circle / October 2011
teen circle AIs your relationship with him tense
to talk to people without any inhibition. To
because you fight about his
their chat room friends, they can project a
technology use?
more socially desirable personality.
If you have answered in the affirmative
ESCAPING BOREDOM: Other teens,
to most of these questions then you are
who simply do not know what to do with
understandably concerned about
their spare time, indulge in technology to
your teenagers.
overcome their boredom and quench their
CAUSES LEADING TO IAD
thirst for stimulation.
ESCAPING REALITY: For teenagers, getting lost in the world of technology is a
MANAGING ADDICTIVE BEHAVIOUR
*You can encourage your children to overcome shyness by providing them with the support they require. Encourage them to get involved in family activities and join clubs of their interest. Help them discover their hidden talent and pursue it.
*You could help them draw up a contract with you to give up the compulsive behaviour. (No, this is not a legal one). Some points to keep in mind while drawing up the contract are:
way of forgetting temporarily their stress,
As a parent, you have to identify the root
anxiety, isolation - all of which accompany
cause and nip it in the bud. Sometimes, a
• The amount of time spent on the internet,
the spurt in hormones. School-work
third person like a counsellor or the child’s
phone or watching television
pressures too, contribute their mite.
mentor/ friend and well-wisher can
LOW SELF-ESTEEM: Unhappy teens who
also help.
• Time and place for such activities • Amount of parental supervision
feel that they do not ‘fit in’ with their real life
*Often, stress and anxiety in teenagers
friends or peers, find solace in going online
can be dealt with by guiding them
• Consequences for breaking the contract
to make new friends who accept them
and teaching them effective coping
• Contract should be sufficiently motivating
better. Shy teens, teens suffering from low
mechanisms. (For this, you have to be
self-esteem, turn to social networking sites
rational, patient and stress-free yourself!)
A sample contract that was actually made between Rahul and his parents CONTRACT FOR RAHUL’S COMPUTER USAGE TERMS 1. I, Rahul will get one hour a day on weekdays and two hours on weekends to spend on the computer. 2. I can take an additional half an hour to work on the internet if I have assignments and school projects to complete. (With prior notification) 3. I will leave my room door open while using the computer to allow some amount of parental supervision. CONSEQUENCES Half-an-hour will be deducted from my computer time the very next day, if I exceed the given time limit or break the terms agreed upon. Says Anita (Rahul’s Mother), “The contract made Rahul disciplined in Internet usage. He makes mature decisions now. He is also doing well in academics. Our
By using written contracts, you are giving them the opportunity to be independent young adults, which is what they desire. This method not only involves them in contributing to the contract clauses, it also teaches them to be responsible for their actions and to deal with the consequences, if the conditions are broken. Instead of stopping with the consequences, the contract could also be made sufficiently motivating for the teen to adhere to it. For instance, one of the clauses can be that the teen will, in his ‘released’ free time, take up an entirely new hobby and embark on a journey of discovery! You can sit down with your teen and formulate an acceptable list of terms and conditions about the time and usage of technology and the parental supervision allowed during its use.n Note: All names in the copy have been
constant bickering has reduced, and he is spending more time with the family.”
changed to protect identity.
Rahul on his side says, “I felt good because I was allowed to make choices for
LEELA B AND SAMYUKTHA Y G ARE PSYCHOLOGISTS AT MEDALL BEHAVIORAL HEALTH SERVICES, SPECIALISING IN THE COUNSELLING OF CHILDREN AND TEENAGERS.
myself. Earlier I was so addicted to the Internet that I could not pull myself out of it. Having my parents guide me in formulating and following the contract made it easier for me. I feel better about myself and more confident because I am improving in my studies. My parents are proud of me, and this makes me happy.”
50 Parent Circle / October 2011
circle of life
G
lobal warming, water shortage, power shutdowns, ever-increasing prices of cooking gas…
These are the buzz words that we often hear. We are more aware than before that the earth’s resources are depleting and we need to use them prudently. Alternative resources need to be harnessed. Even to those who have not given much thought to conserve resources and do not think eco-friendly – the sky rocketing prices and the increasing electricity bills has made it imperative to think of saving water, gas and electricity in big ways and small. Has it become common place to use far more energy than we need in our homes?
Is the earth affluent enough to cater to this misuse and abuse of her resources? Be ALERT to the energy wastage at home!
We leave multiple lights and fans on, sometimes more than one air conditioner running at a time. Is it a sign of affluence? But is the earth affluent enough to cater to this misuse and abuse of her resources? There is a difference between comfort and wasteful luxury. Once you are in the conservative mode, you realise that one half of your consumption can be avoided. As a family, as parents how alert are we to the energy wastage at home?
UMA PADMANABHAN, a Knitwear Designer, has felt strongly about conservation since childhood. “I’ve grown up watching my father and grandfather
Being Resourceful by Sukadha Parthasarathy
drying it out works well. I turn off the main
Maybe these could be saved for a rainy
switch of any gadget or equipment after
day, literally!” she laughs.
use. Do turn off lights and fans that are not serving a purpose – even if it’s just for a
PRABHA MUKUND, a
short while.
happy homemaker feels
There are easy ways to reduce
that it is ideal to start from
practise conservation in every aspect of
consumption of water. Using a bucket
life – simply because they did not believe
instead of a shower, helps you regulate
in waste.
eco-friendly homes. But
the amount of water you use for a bath.
for those who cannot, they
Children now, are more aware of
When you are doing the dishes, keep the
can do whatever it takes to conserve
tap shut while soaping or scrubbing. Even
resources.
environmental issues. Water shortage and frequent power shutdowns are common occurrences nowadays. With parents as
when it is time to rinse and wash, a trickle works as well as a gush of water. We need
the scratch and design
“I ensure that the washing machine always carries a full load. This saves water and
role models, it is easy to develop an eco-
to ensure our maids and children avoid
friendly lifestyle.
wasteful consumption.
Uma frowns upon unnecessary use of
The more affluent families have bathtubs
is directed into buckets and used to clean
electrical gadgets. “I do not use the dryer
and Jacuzzi. They are classy and fun, but
bathrooms. I mop the house only once or
on sunny days. The old fashioned way of
nevertheless a colossal waste of water.
twice a week.
52 Parent Circle / October 2011
electricity. Two half-loads take twice as much water and energy. The used water
Even in the kitchen, the water used to
to follow rules as stringently. “But I do it for
wash rice, dhal and vegetables is saved.
them, so the wastage is minimal.”
It ferments in a day’s time – and I use it to
switched on at the same time. Rather than looking for one huge saving, I
She rues the lack of facilities and
do little things that build up to a substantial
awareness in Chennai when it comes to
amount. Like using the geyser just long
solar cookers. “When I lived in Delhi, we
enough to take the chill off the water. No
used to cook lunch and dinner with solar
point in overheating it and then mixing cold
Prabha says that the soaking of pulses
cookers. But, here in Chennai, you don’t
water to cool it. I prefer curtains that let in
prior to cooking helps save gas. “Channa,
have the facilities or the awareness of
adequate daylight.”
lobhia, and other dhals cook much faster
such a backup.”
water the plants in my balcony. It works well, my plants are green and healthy and do not need any pesticides.
For those who want to go the extra mile,
when soaked for a while - just one whistle
observing an earth hour every week makes
from the cooker and the gas is on low.”
THILAKA SAMPATH, a senior citizen, says the
Prabha feels that a shower, if used
concept of a family
wisely, consumes less water than using
room can, not only
buckets. “Wet yourself, turn off the shower while scrubbing, and then rinse. Quick
build a strong family
showers play an important role in water
bond, but limit power
place to test your singing talent! She does
There is really no need for children to
admit that it is not easy to get the children
have a TV, music system and computer
‘Smart Grid’ refers to technology that uses computerbased remote control and automation in utility electricity delivery systems.
that time for shopping or movies.” Every little bit adds up, does it not? n
SUKADHA PARTHASARATHY IS A FREELANCE WRITER AND SOFT SKILLS TRAINER.
opportunity to leapfrog into a vastly improved
since 1980 and it is projected to be 70% higher
electricity environment.
by 2030! It is essential to use technologies that will be more energy efficient and renewable. LED lights and Smart Grids seem to be the answer to our problems.
The World Smart Grid India Week was held between 13 -16th September 2011 in Mumbai. Chairman Sam Pitroda presented the role of India Smart Grid Task Force, national smart grid
LEDs are just tiny light bulbs that fit easily into an
initiatives, and India’s smart grid roadmap and
electrical circuit. But unlike ordinary incandescent
strategy.
bulbs, they do not have a filament that will burn
(Source of reference: http://www.szwgroup.com/2011/
out, and they do not get especially hot. They are
sgindia/ and http://science.howstuffworks.com/
illuminated solely by the movement of electrons
environmental/green-tech/sustainable/led-light-bulb.htm)
in a semiconductor material, and they last just as long as a standard transistor. The lifespan of an LED surpasses the Power Plant
Hotels
Battery Energy Storage
on the beach, or on the terrace or using
The world energy consumption has risen 45%
Wind Plant
short life of an
Residential
Solar Plant
Solar Power is largely untapped in Chennai as the initial cost of equipment and installation is a deterrent. It is a renewable and green power that plays a major role in cutting down electricity bills. Solar power can be used for cooking, heating water, lights and fans. It also can be a back-up during power outages. Since all solar power equipment needs to be maintained on a regular
incandescent
scale, an annual maintenance contract with the
bulb by
equipment suppliers is of critical importance.
thousands of Distribution Substation
the family, spending time outdoors either
consumption to that one room.
conservation.” The shower is not an ideal
Awaiting Winds of Change
a difference. “We try to make it fun hour for
hours.
Usage of solar energy would increase significantly with government support and
For India, the
public awareness. Particularly so, in offices and
‘Smart Grid’
apartment complexes where the association
may offer an
could help bear the initial cost.
www.parentcircle.in 53
by Shashwathi Sandeep
I
Courtesy indiansenses.wordpress.com
destinations
t was a Diwali weekend and my parents
flags with Tibetan prayers written on
and I wanted to get away from the
them, tied to electric poles. Wheel carts
hustle and bustle of Bangalore. What
were selling momos (a Tibetan dumpling),
better place than Bylakuppe for a
stupas and monasteries dotted either sides
peaceful and spiritual getaway? So, we
of the road - we felt that we were in Tibet.
packed our bags and headed to the place!
Sara Jey Monastery and the Golden Temple
We dumped our bags in the room and
In the reception area of the Sara Jey
went to the Namdroling Monastery,
region of Karnataka.
Monastery was a big Buddha statue. The
popularly known as the Golden Temple.
rooms here were very neat, comfortable
It is also the main attraction in Bylakuppe.
After four hours of sitting in the bus,
and affordable. We had mentally pictured
We entered the huge red door of the
the rooms to be without beds or other
walled compound and saw little monks
amenities since it was a monastery, but
(boys) running around the place carefree.
we were pleasantly surprised to find them
Some monks were sitting on the lawns on
well-furnished and having comfortable
both sides of the barricaded pathway to
cots. The prices were reasonable too – the
the main temple. The huge bell that hung
Hundreds of monks were walking by the
monastery administration was clearly not
before the Golden Temple made for an
roadsides, talking on cell phones, riding
offering rooms for material gain.
interesting foreground. In the main temple,
scooters – this was their settlement
From the balcony of our monastery, we
after all!
could see yet another monastery, the Sera
Bylakuppe is the largest Tibetan settlement in South India, located in the Kodagu
we realised that we had reached our destination when we were suddenly exposed to a sea of maroon and yellow colours – these were the flowing robes of monks in Bylakuppe.
We got down at the bus stand and started looking out for an auto rickshaw. Though there were hotels available close-by, we planned to stay at the Sera Jey monastery, in the interior of the settlement, about four kilometres away. A little negotiation with
Mey, at a distance. Monks were walking in and out of our monastery all the time. Food was served to them in the dining hall near the entrance. They exuded warmth and friendliness with an occasional ‘Hello’ when we crossed each other’s path. There
Monks at Sera Jey Monastery
were three huge statues of Buddha, Guru Padmasambhava and Amitayush made of gold. While the statue of Buddha towered to a height of 60 feet, the other two were around 58 feet. Colourfully-painted Gods filled the walls and dragons twirled upwards picturesquely from the pillars. Candles and flowers were kept at the altar.
was also a tiny shop near the gate of the
We also witnessed the prayers at the
the auto driver, and we were on our way
monastery where some quick munchies,
Temple. Hundreds of monks made their
to the monastery. On the way, we saw
cassettes, and some essentials like
way into the prayer hall where the prayer
fluttering in the wind, different coloured
toothbrushes and soaps were available.
books were neatly arranged on low-lying
54 Parent Circle / October 2011
Reaching Bylakuppe Inside the Golden Temple (Namdroling Monastery)
BY AIR The nearest airport is Mysore. The distance from Mysore to Bylakuppe is about 82 kms.
BY RAIL The nearest Railway Station is at Mysore which is reasonably wellconnected. Otherwise you can take the trains to Bangalore.
the way, you are surrounded by bamboo trees, sandalwood tress and teak trees. After crossing the bridge and walking further down the shady path, you suddenly
Nisargadhama tables. In rhythm with drum-beats, the monks started chanting the prayers. The whole ambience at the monastery was vibrant and at the same time, peaceful. There are prayer wheels behind the temple with prayers engraved on them, which you can spin around. It is believed that turning the prayer wheels containing prayer scrolls in a clockwise direction is as good as saying the prayer. In the shopping arcade opposite the temple, are little shops where you can buy
get to see the river. The river has just meandered a few kilometres from the starting point, and is still a gentle but broad stream. You can walk across it and sit on the rocks at convenient stretches in the water and feel
ACCOMMODATION You can stay at the monastery if you are comfortable with it. Or else, there are hotels on the main road near the bus stand. Good accommodation is also available in the nearby town of Kushalnagar which is 7 kms away from Bylakuppe. AT THE SERA JEY MONASTERY The Sera Jey monastery has 32 rooms with all the basic amenities like 24 hour water supply, telephone connection and even a general store. For more information, contact: 91-8223-258435; 258035 or log onto http://www.serajeymonastery.org
the Cauvery gushing past your legs. We saw many children enjoying themselves in
Elephant Camp, 15 kilometres away. We
the water. (Make sure that you take extra
watched the elephants being bathed and
clothing for your child!)
also tried our hand at it. Many children
The place also has a resort where you can
were greatly enjoying themselves with
watch the peacocks and deer at leisure. There are little shops at the entrance,
this activity. Visitors can also feed the elephants. Elephant rides through the
where you can shop for some mementos.
forest are available. The camp also has
as souvenirs. There is also a board there
We had dinner on the way back to the
which says: ‘Don’t buy Chinese goods.’
monastery. You have the choice of South
the pachyderm’s behaviour. You can also
Understandable! The Tibetans have lost
Indian or Tibetan food in Bylakuppe. You
their homeland to the Chinese.
can sample the thukpas (noodle soup),
After this refreshing treat, we headed back
the momos (non-veg or veg) and different
to the monastery. We bid farewell to our
breads or the simple fare at the monastery.
friendly hosts with a promise that we will
a prayer-flag and even a prayer-wheel
Nisargadhama Our next stop in the evening, was Nisargadhama which was 3 kilometres
Dubare Elephant Camp
guides explaining interesting aspects of enjoy a coracle ride or river-rafting.
definitely visit again. The auto-rickshaw ferried us to the bus stand. We were on
away. It is a 25 acre island formed by the
Next morning we woke up to cold weather
our way back to the hustle-bustle of the
River Cauvery. A hanging bridge helps you
and mist enshrouding the monastery.
city after a soul-searching and
reach the other side of the island. Along
Undeterred, we headed for the Dubare
fun-filled weekend.n
www.parentcircle.in 55
Courtesy sanjayp.wordpress.com
BY ROAD Bylakuppe is situated on the Karnataka State Highway 88. It can be reached by buses which ply from all major towns like Mysore, Bangalore (220 kms) and Chennai (585 kms). An Airawat Bus from Majestic Bus Stand in Bangalore makes the journey less tedious. In Bylakuppe, you could use autorickshaws for commuting.
check it out
ages 2-4
The Jellybeans Story BY TANYA LUTHER AGARWAL Rupa Publications, ` 50 This is a heartwarming story about some scented jellybeanies in a factory. All of them are excited that they are going to be sent to shops, where children will be able to see them and buy them. To their disappointment, they are set aside as they are considered to be ‘irregular’ and all their hopes crash. But then, the jellybeanies realize that each one of them is special and unique in its own way and that there is nothing to be ashamed of. This is a story of selfacceptance and hope. The book is a very easy read for the children as the text is bold and the illustrations colourful.
ages 4-6
Home
BY NINA SABNANI
ages 6-8
Tulika, ` 450
roof perching at the top.
Fun in Devlok: Shiva plays Dumb Charades
The design is inspired
BY DEVDUTT PATTANAIK
Nina Sabnani’s Home is a unique and imaginatively designed book. The book is in the shape of a home with a
by Kaavad, a portable wooden shrine which was
Penguin India, ` 99
used by traditional storytellers in Rajasthan. The book has different panels and each panel is beautifully illustrated with traditional paintings of animals and humans. The window in the centre panel opens to a different world. Once, you open the central panel, there are two more panels which unfold on either side.
Devdutt Pattanaik’s Shiva plays Dumb
Charades, is an easy and informative read, tapping into Hindu mythology and culture. Five children are playing Dumb Charades, when Lord Shiva appears and joins them in the game. Through the game, Shiva explains the various things he carries with him, right from the moon on his head to the drum in his hand. He also explains to the children why a fountain of water rises from his head
There are illustrations of different kinds of
and what each posture (mudra) of his means. When the game ends,
families and houses with tiny descriptions. The
the children realize that all the Gods and Goddesses are playing
idea behind this is to help children learn about
dumb charades through their postures, conveying subtle messages
the community that they are staying in and in the process, learn more about their own identity in that community.
56 Parent Circle / October 2011
to the world of mortals. Adults not familiar with Hindu mythology, can also learn from this book.
ages 10-12
ages 8-10
Malgudi Schooldays
The Forbidden Temple: Stories from the Past
BY R K NARAYAN Puffin, ` 199
BY T V PADMA
The book is a humorous portrayal of
Tulika, ` 115
an irresponsible school boy. Swami
In this book, the country’s history is
is a ten-year-old, who is always up
seen through the lives of children
to some mischief and who does not
through each age from 3500 BC until
like going to school. He lives in an imaginary and picturesque town called Malgudi in South India. Forever creating mayhem, Swamy and his two friends Rajam and Mani put together a cricket team called the Malgudi Cricket Club, their very own MCC!
the 1940s. The author’s narration is beautiful and vivid. Stories related to the Stone Age, the Indus Valley civilization and the British rule deal with the lives of the people and their occupations. Alongside each story, some facts about that particular period are narrated in an interesting manner. For those school children who find
The book Malgudi Schooldays is a slightly shortened version
History very boring, this book will make them take a fresh
of the novel Swami and Friends, and consists of one story
look at the subject. There are some activity pages at the end
each from Malgudi Days and Under the Banyan Tree. The book has always been a joyful read for children of all ages.
of the book for the children to review whatever they
ages 12-14
To the Blue King’s Castle BY PRASENJIT GUPTA Penguin India, ` 199 Much like Alice in Wonderland, this book
have learnt.
ages 14-16
Shimmer (Riley Bloom Series) BY ALYSON NOEL Pan Macmillan, ` 250
Professor Cliché.
Shimmer is the next book after Radiance in the Riley Bloom series. Riley (who is a ghost), her guide Bodhi, and her dog Buttercup are enjoying a vacation gifted to them by the Council (of ghosts). Riley comes across an angry black dog and follows it, much against the warning given by Bodhi. There, she meets a ghost called Rebecca, who at first seems sweet but then shows her true colours. The angry young ghost was the daughter of a plantation owner, who was killed during a slave revolt in 1733. Now, she wants to avenge her death and traps all the ghosts who died along with her, in her bubble of anger. Bodhi and Buttercup also get stuck in this bubble and Riley goes in search of them. She frees them both, as also the other souls trapped in that bubble including Rebecca.
The book is a light read for preteens and takes you through
The book alternates between humour and a slight
the world of magic and fantasy. Get ready to enter into a world
philosophical tone. Even if you have not read the previous
of liars, cars driven on emotions and bird dogs!
books in this series, you can still folow the story.
tells you the story of an ordinary girl Ritu, who gets lost in an underground forest. It is a normal day and Ritu decides to visit the mall. She takes an elevator to go down and ends up in an underground forest. Here she meets characters like Serendipitous, the resident magician and Blanc-Noir, his assistant. Ritu learns that nobody is happy in the forest as the Blue King has taken away the Dodgson’s Box, in which lies the spirit of happiness. Ritu decides to help them out and they set out on an adventurous trail to the Blue King’s castle to get back the box. Along the way, she comes across new places like the Outcasts Village, the Mediapolis and the Bureaucrats’ Maze and meets new people like the Word Doctor and
www.parentcircle.in 57
parent chef
QUICK ’N EASY
Diwali Delights
Mixed Herb Mathri
by Rashmee Ramkumar
MAKES 20 – 25 MATHRIS INGREDIENTS
Maida
1 cup
Ghee
2 tsp
Oregano
1/2 tsp
Basil
1/2 tsp
Ajwain
1/2 tsp
Cold water
to knead
Salt
to taste
Oil
for deep frying
METHOD
Rub ghee into the maida till it resembles crumbs. Add salt, ajwain and herbs and knead with cold water to form a very stiff dough. Roll out on a lightly floured surface and stamp out rounds. Prick the rounds with a fork at several places (to avoid puffing up) and fry in hot oil till golden brown. Cool and store in an air-tight container.
Kiwi Sandesh
SERVES 4 INGREDIENTS
Kiwi fruit
2
Home-made paneer
1 cup (made by curdling 1 litre milk)*
Icing sugar
8 tbsp
Cardamom powder
1/2 tsp
* Milk should be curdled by adding quarter cup whey water or 2 tsp lime juice. It should then be hung in a muslin cloth for 20 minutes till the whey water is drained. Do not press out excess water. The whey water can be collected and reused later for making more paneer or can be used to make chapathi dough. Bengali sweets cannot be made with paneer bought from the shop. METHOD
Add the icing sugar and cardamom powder and continue kneading for 2 more minutes. Place the mixture on very low flame and stir till the raw smell of the paneer goes and the mixture forms a soft dough. Do not overheat. Knead the dough again and form desired shapes. Make a small
Knead the paneer for 3 minutes on a clean surface after the
indent on top of the sandesh and place segments of kiwi fruit.
excess water has drained out, while it is still moist.
Refrigerate and serve chilled.
58 Parent Circle / October 2011
Fruit and Nut Chocolate Fudge
MAKES 15 FUDGE BALLS
INGREDIENTS
}
Milk powder
2 cups
Cocoa
To be sieved together 2 tbsp
Sugar
1 ½ cups
Water
3/4th cup
Butter
1/3rd cup
Raisins
2 tbsp
Walnuts
2 tbsp (chopped)
METHOD
Mix the sugar and water and heat till it reaches 1 string consistency (a little thicker than a gulab jamun sugar syrup). Add the butter and switch off flame after it melts. Stir in the milk powder and cocoa mixture along with the raisins and nuts and mix. Pour onto a greased plate. Shape into balls after it has cooled. Alternatively it can also be cut into squares and served.
Seetaphal Rabdi
SERVES 4 – 5
INGREDIENTS
Custard apple (seetaphal) 4 Milk
500 ml
Khova
200gm
Sugar
8-10 tbsp (heaped)
Cornflour
1 1/2 tsp
Pistachios, saffron and rose petals
To garnish
METHOD
Keep aside a few spoons of milk and boil the rest. Add the khova to the hot milk and allow it to dissolve completely. Add sugar and cook for another 2 minutes. Dissolve the corn flour in the little milk kept aside and add to the above mixture. Stir continuously to avoid lumps, till it thickens. Allow the mixture to cool. Deseed the custard apple and add the pulp to the cooled mixture. Refrigerate. Garnish with chopped pistachios, saffron and rose petals. Serve chilled. n RASHMEE RAMKUMAR IS A CHENNAI-BASED NUTRITIONIST WHO RUNS HER OWN BAKING ENTERPRISE SNOW FROSTING.
www.parentcircle.in 59
discussion point
Is your child’s current school timing conducive or detrimental to his health and his natural body rhythm?
I feel that the present school timings of my
I am happy with the current timings of
daughter are too long. She has school from
8.30 am to 2.30 pm. In Bangalore, there
8.30 am to 3.30 pm, which I think is a very
is continual traffic jam. If the children start
long day, particularly for a fourth standard
early, they will reach school before the traffic
student. On Tuesdays, it is even longer
piles up on the street. My children are back
because of club activities between 3.30 pm
home by 3.15 pm. This gives them some
and 4.30 pm. She leaves home at 7.30 am
time to rest, followed by other activities. They
on Tuesdays and returns home only at
also go to bed early and get up early, I have
5.45 pm. By the time she gets on the bus
never had problems in getting them ready
and comes home, she is really exhausted
for school.
and looks miserable. Poor thing! I feel
Roopa Suresh, mother of 7-year-old and
that ideally 6 hours of school a day will be
12-year-old daughters
adequate for children, at least till the age of 10. Kalpana Rajiv, mother of an 8-yearold daughter
1.45 pm and I really think that this timing
I am quite happy with my children’s school
during this time and they will be able to
timings. The school starts at 8.30 am for
concentrate better on what is being taught.
them and they are through by 2.30 pm.
He comes home by 2 pm and he has ample
That gives them enough time for a nap and
time to take some rest and also play. I
playtime. They also have enough time for
actually feel that if a school ends at 3.30 pm
an additional activity like swimming or karate
or so, the children will be tired by the time
after which they can also concentrate on
they come home. Sure, the school starts
their studies and we can all have dinner
early for my son but that is good, as getting
together as a family.
up early is a very good habit. The only
Vidhya Satagopan Srinivasan, mother of a
problem is getting the children to eat some
9-year-old son and a 5-year-old daughter
breakfast. Parents have to plan sensibly for
The school timing for my children is from 9.20 am to 3.40 pm. This arrangement works fine for me as this gives me time to take an early morning aerobic class before I can send my children off to school. It also gives my children enough time after school for other pursuits. They are able to do their homework and studies at leisure. But what I would really like is a 5-day week. My son, at present, has half-day school on Saturdays and I wish that could change! Latha Raghunath, mother of a 10-year-old son and a 3 year-old-daughter
Do you think that pocket money should be given to your child? If so, at what age, how much and why? Please send in your responses before October 15 2011 to editorial@parentcircle.in with the subject line ‘Discussion Point’, or send them to PARENT CIRCLE, 3rd Floor, Shri Renga Vihar, 8/14 First Cross St, Karpagam Gardens, Adyar, Chennai 600020, India.
60 Parent Circle / October 2011
My son’s school timing is from 7.45 am to is fine. Energy levels of children are high
this, so that the child does not skip it. Rajeswary Vinoth, mother of a 9-yearold son
The school timing of my sons is 9.15 am to 4 pm and I feel this timing is absolutely fine. They spend more hours in the school. Children get the maximum exposure to knowledge from school. Yes, they have to struggle a bit now as the bar for education has been raised, but they will enjoy the fruits of their labour in the future. Today children have a snack break, which was not there in my time. Snacks and lunch give them
I remember that my sister attended school
enough energy to survive the day till they get
from 7.15 am to 12.30 pm which is the most
home. My sons also go to Karate classes
apt school timing that I have seen. After that,
and Yoga, but that is during the weekend.
she had the entire afternoon and evening
I feel that education should get maximum
to rest to do other activities, finish her home
priority and that is why I approve of the
work and then play.
school timing.
Priya Dixit, mother of a 10-year-old son and
RC Devakumar, father of 12-year-old and
a 7 year-old-daughter
14-year-old sons
events
this month October 2 - 5
Painting Exhibition
Gandhi Mandapam, Sardar Patel Road An exhibition of paintings by differently-abled children organised by Loyal Indian Friends Trust (LIFT). Time: 9:00 am - 8:00 pm
event@ parentcircle October 2
Inspiration Gandhi Journalists Colony Park, Srinivasapuram, Tiruvanmiyur, Chennai-41 An event by SWACHID (Soldiers of War Against Corruption, Hunger,
October 2
(Contact Deva 98840 49760)
Tree walk
October 3 - 5
Disease), to
Sivan Park, KK Nagar
Navratri Art and Craft Workshop
celebrate the
On Gandhi Jayanti, let us remember the Father of the Nation with a walk among the trees. Come appreciate the lovely banyan tree and the nagalingam tree. Time: 7:30 – 8:30 am (90030 11372 - Nizhal)
Till October 2
Bamboola, 73, Venkata Krishna Road, RA Puram Children between 4-10 years will be taught a variety of festive navratri theme-based art which they will do by themselves. (98403 94190)
September 28 - October 5
Pottery Exhibition
ThinkTops Hunt
Prakrit Art Gallery, 102, Greenways Road Extension, R.A Puram Road
Online Treasure Hunt for teams of children aged 10 -16 years. Register by sending a
An exclusive pottery exhibition
mail to thinktopshunt@gmail.com with your
comprising works of rural and
team name, your team members and their
Ignorance and
Gandhian Spirit on his 142nd birth anniversary. AT 8:30 AM Story Telling & Spinning Charkha by VR Devika, SARGAM Children’s Choir, Presentation about Parent Circle by Nalina Ramalakshmi, Publisher, Parent Circle. AT 7 PM An hour long presentation of film clips from Mahatma Gandhi’s life interspersed with interesting anecdotes, by V R Devika of Aseema Trust.
October 12
urban artists.
contact numbers and email ids.
Parenting in the 21st Century
Time: 10:30 am – 6:00 pm
October 5 - 9
Sivagami Petachi Auditorium, 179, Luz Church Road, Mylapore
(94440 32342)
Chess Tournament
Oration by Psychiatrist and Author
Conducted by Chennai District Chess
Time: 6:15 pm
Association for people of all age groups under different categories. (9444 255196)
October 9 October 2
The Sunday Kutcheri in the Park
Vidhuran
Smt.Sivagami Pethachi Auditorium, 179, Luz Church Road, Mylapore Inspired from the Vidura of Mahabharata,
Nageswara Rao Park, Luz Church Road
Vidhuran is an amalgamation of three
Children below 15 years demonstrate
performing arts - Theatre, Dance, and
their music skills.
Mime - presented by MacTrics.
Time: 6:30 am – 7:30 am
Time: 7:00 pm
(94440 40748)
Duration: 75 minutes (98944 33894)
62 Parent Circle / October 2011
The Second Karnaprayag Endowment
Hall of Chess, Jawaharlal Nehru Stadium, Raja Muthiah Road, Periyamet
Dr Vijay Nagaswami.
October 22 - 24
Festival of Lights DakshinaChitra, ECR, Muttukadu Dakshina Chitra is organizing celebrations for Diwali. (044 27472603 / 27472783) For event listings contact us at PARENT CIRCLE, 3rd Floor Shri Renga Vihar, 8/14 First Cross St, Karpagam Gardens, Adyar, Chennai 600020, India. Ph. no. 24461066/67/68. Email info@parentcircle. in with the subject line ‘Events’.
VE L O S
ZLES! Z U P E THES
1 Card
Puzzle Arrange these cards in such a way that they add up to 6 horizontally, vertically and diagonally.
2 Math
Cross Word
Send in your entries Surprise gift before 20th October, 2011 to the address given for the below, with your name, FIR ST age, class, school name, address and phone correct responses! numbers. Hurry up!
50
1 1 1 2 2 2 3
3
3
viewpoint
by Kamla Ravikumar
I
am writing this article as an art teacher to voice my concern about the many
The next morning
+2 students who come every year
there was a major
to attend my classes for preparatory
confrontation with my
exams to art and architecture courses. The journey begins with concerned parents who come along with the child
father. I insisted that I be ‘allowed’ to take up art or I would choose to sit at home
with worried looks asking me: “What is
and help mother in the kitchen. It was
the future for art as an academic option?”
the happiest day in my life when my
These are parents who are unable to think
father gave in and I joined an art school.
beyond science and engineering as career
I graduated as the best student of the
options. I advise such parents to let the
college. I worked very hard.
child choose what she likes to do, instead of forcing her into a career in which she has no interest.
I hope parents reading this will understand that in today’s world there are many more options for students wanting to
With most schools not offering art as part of their curriculum, it has become very difficult for students who wish to take up art after +2. Those who have a natural flair for art are able to cope with entrance exams; others have to put in a very dedicated effort during the summer holidays after the +2 exams and often that may not be adequate. It is rather unfortunate that schools do
I will begin by relating my personal
pursue art related courses. Among the
experience about choosing art as a career
various options is Visual Communications
option. For this, I had to face a lot of
(VISCOM) which will help students
resistance from my father who thought that
become graphic designers. For those
an artist wore a Khadi kurta and carried a
having a flair and interest in dressing
cloth bag on his shoulder and struggled
styles, there are courses in fashion
for his existence. I was forced to take up
designing which include not only garment
science in college. In those days we had to
designing but also accessory and textile
conduct biology experiments with a frog or
designing (NIFT & Pearl Academy).
an earthworm to learn about their internal
Then there is Architecture, where a very
organs. The nausea after every lab-day
intensive test called NATA (National
made me skip lunch. When I could not
Aptitude Test for Architecture) is required.
secure the cut-off percentage for medical
An in-depth course in Animation prepares
studies, my father asked me to apply for
a child for a career in cartooning and
into other streams against their wishes.n
physiotherapy. As luck would have it, on
animation film making. There are excellent
the day I went to collect the admission
career opportunities for all these courses
KAMLA RAVIKUMAR IS THE FOUNDER OF STUDIO41, TEACHING ART AND CRAFT.
forms at the college entrance, they were
provided the child is able to pursue
offloading a third degree burns patient
art during his school days and has the
from an ambulance. I fainted at the sight of
opportunity to hone his drawing and
this and could not sleep the whole night.
painting skills.
64 Parent Circle / October 2011
not think of art as an important subject. Apart from being a career option, art is also an excellent stress buster. Students are going through a lot of stress in their academic and personal lives. The demand for high percentages and cut-offs drains them. Is this what education is all about? Without art and music, a person is an incomplete human being whatever maybe his qualifications. I request all parents to encourage their children to take up arts if that is what they desire, and not force them
If you have strong views write to us, with the subject line ‘Viewpoint’ to editorial@parentcircle.in or send them to PARENT CIRCLE, 3rd Floor Shri Renga Vihar, 8/14 First Cross St, Karpagam Gardens, Adyar, Chennai 600020, India.