Conspiracy's greatest hits

Paul McCartney McCartney and the death that never was

By Jacques Daviault

Jacques Daviault is a Montreal-based writer and art director with a curiosity writer and art director with a curiosity that knows few bounds.

Everyone loves a good conspiracy story. We may not believe them, but they are entertaining. To a point. In this series we’ll walk through several of the best ones – some quite compelling and some laughable, all of them indicative of our need to explain the unexplainable.

HE BLEW HIS MIND OUT IN A CAR...

According to legend, Paul McCartney died in 1966. How could I have known? I wasn’t part of the British Invasion. I was fi ve years old. But once I learned of his passing, I set out to collect the clues. I had to do my bit to ensure the truth would come out.

Apparently, on November 8, Paul had been arguing with his bandmates during a recording session at Abbey Road and summarily drove off in a huff – leading him to being decapitated in a fi ery crash on the M1 in the wee hours of November 9.

Here’s an explanation of what was born, took root and emerged. Enjoy it for all of its intricacies, intrigue, and the attempt to provide light in the darkness.

AND YOUR BIRD CAN SING

Rumours gain traction where there’s an appetite for a truth that we believe is being kept from us. In 1967, The Beatles were approaching the zenith of their popularity and quality of output. It seemed they could do no wrong, and some rock critics mused aloud that the top three pop chart spots should be kept permanently in reserve for the Fab Four. In short, nothing had tainted their image, lessened their impact, or deadened their popularity. Cue the haters ... and the assassins.

The Beatles stopped touring in August 1966. They became studio recluses – tinkering and toying with endless takes, song snippets and musical experiments. All that was left to a Beatlemaniacal world was an album or so once a year.

No news was not good news. It was a massive Beatle vacuum that needed filling. Luckily, Paul argued with the other Quarrymen, drove off angry, and MarieAntoinetted himself. Bingo – Beatle news. Big Beatle news. Except it wasn’t.

DO YOU WANT TO KNOW A SECRET?

Indisputable clues to James Paul McCartney’s unfortunate head-losing demise began to mount. Month after month new revelations added to an enormous body of evidence. The conclusion was identical in the minds of many. All that was left was the crying and the eulogies.

The Paul Is Dead rumour caught fire after a Des Moines, Iowa, university paper published an exposé detailing the evidence. The author and editor of the Drake University student publication, Tim Harper, claimed that when “Revolution #9” was played backwards the following phrase was repeatedly heard: “Turn me on, dead man.” This was only one of a long list of clues he suggested were proof of the pretty Beatle’s untimely death.

Rumours gain traction where there’s an appetite for a truth that we believe is being kept from us.

And that was only part of it. Sgt. Pepper held a treasure trove of clues: Paul was the only one wearing a suit of a different colour, and a closeup of the shoulder patch on that Victorian regalia steampunk jacket he wore had “O.P.D.” emblazoned upon it. Officially Pronounced Dead. In fact, it read “O.P.P.,” and was a gift from the Ontario Provincial Police, given to him when they performed years earlier in Toronto.

The clues are too many to list, but all are nothing more than random dots. Data points were crunched by the conspiracy theorists and connected to form a picture only they could see. For brevity’s sake, I’ll stick to the “evidence” on the front and back of the Abbey Road album cover.

A DAY TRIPPER’S WALK ACROSS ABBEY ROAD FRONT COVER

The Clue: Paul is walking barefoot. Only dead people walk barefoot... The Meaning: Being barefoot is textbook death iconography. Or so they say. The Truth: Paul’s shoes were uncomfortably tight. He took them off. That can happen ... but only to the living.

The Clue: Paul is holding a cigarette. The Meaning: Cigarettes were once referred to as coffin nails. The Truth: The Beatles smoked. A lot. Up to two packs a day for years.

The Clue: A white Volkswagen Beetle bears the license plate 28IF. The Meaning: Clearly meant to say “Paul would have been 28 IF he’d lived”. And it was on a Beetle, a BEATLE. The Truth: Paul would have actually been 27. But never let facts get in the way of a great conspiracy theory.

The clues are too many to list, but all are nothing more than random dots. Data points were crunched by the conspiracy theorists and connected to form a picture only they could see.

BACK COVER

The Clue: The image of a skull is seen immediately to the left of the girl in the blue dress, near the crook of her waist. Paul is dead-diddly-dead. The Meaning: You don’t need me to help you interpret the image of a skull. The Truth: People can read anything into anything – if they try hard enough.

AND IN THE END…

Why that image of the four bandmates walking across the road? Simple. With no agreement on a title or a cover, they exited Studio 2 at Abbey Road. They traipsed outside under the hot August sun for an impromptu it’s-this-or-nothing photo session. The presses were waiting, the photographer was hired by the hour. So out they went, Paul with cigarette in hand. It was as plain as that…

There is no getting around it. Paul is not dead and never was. The whole Paul Is Dead coverup is a tame one by conspiracy standards. It’s 95-per-cent entertaining and carries only five-per-cent chance of causing anyone any harm.

That’s not the case with other conspiracy theories. They can hurt. They can destroy reputations, and convince entire populations that red is blue, and that endless alternative truths are out there. However, by picking them apart, they can lose their power and appeal.

No news was not good news. It was a massive Beatle vacuum that needed filling.

Stay tuned.