Not everyone knows this...

By John Chaput

John Chaput was raised in Montreal, has lived in Western Canada for about 45 years, and is seriously thinking about settling down there. A retired journalist and editor, he is the author of three books about Saskatchewan sports history. He is also an amateur actor and has won two awards for his performances at Theatre Saskatchewan festivals.

JANUARY 29, 1594

Mathematician John Napier of Merchiston dedicates his book A Plaine Discovery of the Whole Revelation of St. John to King James VI, advising the Scottish monarch to “reform the universal enormities of this country, and first to begin at his own house, family, and court.” Napier, a man with considerable reputation who is credited with the discovery of logarithms, sees his book receive a popular reception. The king will eventually succeed Elizabeth I to become James I of England and spearhead the compilation of the King James Bible, thus cementing his commitment to Protestantism. And a good thing, too, because Napier warned in A Plaine Discovery that, based on his study of the Book of Revelation and the development of human history, the world would end in either 1688 or 1700. Not everyone knew this at the time, but Napier was wrong. Presumably, he forgot to carry a digit somewhere in his computations; but admit it, if he had said 2020, you would have spent nine months believing him.

JANUARY 12, 1628

Charles Perrault is born in Paris. An accomplished scholar of many talents, Perrault’s most noteworthy achievement will come in 1697 at the age of 69 when he publishes Histoires ou Contes du Temps passé: Les Contes de la Mère l’Oye (Old Stories and Tales: The Tales of Mother Goose). The collection would launch the genre of fairy tales and included such timehonoured stories as Sleeping Beauty, Cinderella, Little Red Riding Hood and Puss in Boots. Not everyone knows this, but when it came to delivering a moral Perrault was about as subtle as a guillotine. (Which wouldn’t be invented for another century, but some similes are just too irresistible.) Perrault uses Little Red Riding Hood as a warning that “tame wolves are the most dangerous of all ... obliging and gentle, following the young girls in the streets, even into their homes.” In Perrault’s version, the wolf tricks young Ms. Hood into bed and devours her. At least the wolf lives happily ever after ...

JANUARY 25, 1858

Victoria the Princess Royal, eldest child of Queen Victoria, is married to the future King Wilhelm III of Prussia at St. James Palace in London in a ceremony that will be indefinitely influential. Just as Queen Victoria’s nuptials established a tradition for white gowns, so did the Princess Royal’s wedding set the standard for ceremonial music. The princess entered to the pompous swirls of Mendelssohn’s Wedding March, which will become de rigeuer for every future high-status wedding. Following the service, the couple exited to the Bridal Chorus from Richard Wagner’s Lohengrin – commonly known as “Here Comes the Bride.” Not everyone knows this, but that popular title wasn’t adopted until the 20th century; at the time, the only lyrics were in German and roughly translate as “Faithful ones, come to where love’s blessings shall preserve you.” Eventually the tune gained more favour as a processional than a recessional, and wedding guests were no longer uncertain as to whether they, or the bride, were coming or going.

JANUARY 16, 1905

The visiting Dawson City Nuggets face off against the Ottawa Silver Seven in the second game of their bestof-three Stanley Cup series. The trophy is available to any hockey team whose challenge is accepted and the Yukon, giddy from the Klondike gold rush, is eager to undertake the effort. The cross-country trip goes splendidly – other than the players’ threeday dogsled ride from Dawson City to Skagway takes too long, they miss their boat by two hours, are marooned for five days, so they hitch a ride on a scow, can’t disembark in Vancouver because of fog, detour to Seattle, and catch a train to Vancouver to board the CP Express to Ottawa. Blasted 9-2 in the opening game on Jan. 13, the Nuggets, tired from their journey and rusty from a lack of practice, vow that Game 2 will be different. It is. (Not everyone knows this, but a slaughter is different from a rout.) Ottawa wins 23-2. Frank McGee scores 14 goals. Details of the trip back to Dawson City are lost to history.

JANUARY 12, 1966

“Camp” culture reaches new heights, or depths, as Batman debuts on the ABC television network. The costumes, the hokey dialogue, the bizarre gimmicks, the parade of accomplished actors posing as “guest villains” for an easy payday, Robin’s infinite litany of “Holy (fill in the blank)” – it’s as if some misguided persons thought that a made-up universe didn’t have to be taken seriously. Most memorable of all is the opening theme with its profound lyrics: “Batman. Batman. Batman, Batman. Batman, Batman, Batman! Nananana, nananana, nanananana ... Batman!” It had so much subtext, as opposed to the obvious lack of substance within the Gilligan’s Island intro. The Batman theme would resound as a musical television landmark (and an earworm; you’re welcome) for generations to come. Not everyone knows this, but this is one of three songs – along with “Tequila” and “Wipeout” – that will get you rightfully kicked out of any respectable karaoke bar. (If there is such a thing.)

JANUARY 30, 1975

Ernö Rubik, a sculptor and professor of architecture, applies for a patent in Hungary for his “Magic Cube,” a 3-D puzzle in which the object is to: 1) get matching colours in all nine squares on all six sides of the contraption; 2) make successful gamers feel smart, and 3) make unsuccessful gamers feel downright stupid. Rubik’s Cube has since sold more than 400 million units and is believed to be the best-selling toy in history. There are even official world records for the fastest solutions, including two-handed (3.47 seconds), one-handed (6.82 seconds), blindfolded (15.50 seconds) and – just to make even the superintelligent feel stupid – by a robot (0.38 seconds). By the way, not everyone knows this, but the debate rages as to whether the best way to dispose of a Rubik’s Cube is with a 32-ounce Lousiville Slugger or by holding a large magnifying glass over it on a hot day.