ISSUE #001 This issue is about all the things going on in my mind. Randomness is a good word for it. But somewhere there's a connection between everything. I'm making a collection of all the print screens I took since last summer. There are print screens out of television shows, print screens of conversations I have with friends or non-friends. Just things I wanted to remember or show to others. Some of those texts are coming from articles I've read or people commenting on youtube-videos I watch a lot. All my thoughts are collected in this first self-made issue. It can be a way to deal with things and make some things clear to myself (and others). Anyway..I had a lot of fun making it. ISSUE #001
Free
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"I feel like tying him up and breaking those in front of him one by one. It would be so much fun."
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° Does this need to be evaluated somehow? - The movie? Or the afternoon. I can write a resume about the movie. ° That we chilled... - Okay, evaluate it! ° No, you have to! - Hah well, I think I came across like a really dumb person. And like a really confusing one too. ° Confused, not dumb! - And I like your roommates (the ones I saw though). Too bad I have to work tomorrow, I'd love to party with you. (Normally I'm not THAT confused. Blame it on the lack of sleep.) What's your evaluation? °hmm, you seemed confused/insecure by yourself. Which I get. I think you are attractive, but I really
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can't judge your way to pull it off. And chilling with a picky girl on an unattractive day makes me a little more insecure than usual. - What do I do to pull it off? I think I'm doing things without really knowing it then. I didn't think you had an unattractive day (I wouldn't know how you would be on an attractive day then). And You did not come across insecure. ° I mean, I can't judge how aware you are of yourself being attractive... - I don't find myself that Attractive..so hm. ° Oh well.. End of this conversation
"I think the worst part is that all these weirdos have a mate but I'm here just like "WHO WANTS TO GET MARRIED?" "
°Aha! -It's you! °That is correct. -Is it your cat? °Yes. Well now not anymore. Because I moved out. -It was your cat @Maastricht? °In Santiago. If it was Maastricht I would see again. We have a new guinny pig also in Maastricht. - Aah! Santiago. When you're going back to Maastricht. °In like 3 weeks. Yes, in 3 weeks. -Ah wow! Time goes fast! ° And the sun is shining - Haha, I had a date yesterday and today she added me on fb and you're a common friend. ° WHO? Quick! Who who who, internet almost gone. End of this conversation.
ISSUE #001 I must admit that I have some difficulties to show myself fully here. ISSUE #001 ° Why do you not date me?!? You seem like you wouldn't cause a lot of unnecessary drama. - I'm like no drama at all. For real. I hate drama. I never had a fight with my ex except when she said that I should my thoughts about relationships. She told me everyone wants to do polygamy. ° Haha, wanna go out with me? - No, you have a girlfriend! ° You have 2 half which basically means one full girlfriend, as we learned in maths when you have the same numbers, you can cross them out and they disappear out of the equation. - Haha, you so smart! But I don't really date anymore. We talked today and she thinks it's better to not fall in love because it's to soon. ° Okay, so you are free! - Yup. ° Wanna go out with me? I swear I won't...actually maybe I can be a little bit complicated, but not too much. - Only if your girlfriend knows. °And I can cook if you want, and learn fun facts and teach you those? -If you cook, I'm in! Haha, YES I WANT TO GO 2
DEEP LOVE FOR APPLIANCES For hard-working Americans Saturday’s can be a time to catch up on those mundane household chores. Back to me doing laundry but for software developer Robert Seeker and mortgage processor Fred Stassney these tasks are anything but a chore that’s because they share a common obsession with vintage appliances. "If you were to look for my room in the house where there’s absolutely no appliances, you not going to find one. We probably have fifteen mix masters. Maybe eight regular blenders, 300 vacuums, probably six or eight toasters. Fred Loves toasters, he loves picking up toasters, sometimes I’m like: “oh no, another toaster” but it makes him happy, so it makes me happy too" In total they have 400 appliances in their house and out of all their equipment they each have their favorite. “It’s undeniable that I have a thing for vacuum-cleaners, it’s the motor revving up, it’s the bag inflating, it’s unwinding a cord and plugging it in, it’s the whole process of vacuuming.” They have appliances in every room of their house, celebrating them almost Wlike museum pieces. “But in a home setting, so you want to be warm, not cold and sterile. Also we want to be able to use our things. These things are not just props, I mean, we get a mixer of the shop to make a cake and next week we’ll take a different mixer down.” But while most people have one washer in their basement, for the past fifteen years Robert has collected 28 of the most rare and coveted washing machines in the world and they keep all 28 machines in their 1200 square foot basement. “I’d say we’re obsessed, but obsessed in a positive way. Look at that nice foam.” Since he started accumulating washers, Robert have never used or owned a washing machine made after 1965 and he spends more on maintaining these machines than most people spend on a top-ofthe-line modern washer. “Everything about the machine is fascinating, I love watching the machine go trough the cycle, I love watching to see how it does it, I love seeing the water movement, I love seeing the clothes moving, the lights and the bells.” Air conditioning Air Ioniser Appliance plug Aroma Lamp Attic fan Bachelor griller Back boiler Beverage opener Box mangle Can opener Ceiling fan Central vacuum cleaner Clothers dryer Combo washer dryer Dish draining closet Dishwasher Domestic robot Drawer dishwasher EcoCute Electric water boiler
Fan heater Flame supervision Forced- air Futon dryer Garbage disposal unit Gas appliance Go-to-bed matchbox Hair dryer Hair iron Hob Humidifier HVAC Icebox Internet refrigerator Clothes iron Ironman Kimatsu Kimchi refrigerator Mangle machine Manual cleaner Micathermic heater
- Look A Like -
Microwave oven Mousetrap Oil heater Oven Patio heater Radiator Refrigerator Home server Sewing machine Stove Sump pump Thermal mass refrigerator Tie press Toaster Trouser press Vacuum cleaner Washing machine Water cooker Water heating Window fan
# SOME STRANGERS
# AN ASIAN RED SCARF
A couple of weeks ago there was a party that a friend and I organized. We thought we would have more free consummations for our own, but were disappointed. After a few hours I had to find an ATM to get some fresh money. I hoped that I just could take out some money at a fast food restaurant, but I couldn't. When I walked further, in search of an ATM, there were some people eating fries, just out of the restaurant. They saw my analog camera and that was a reason for a conversation: "Oh hey, can you take a picture of us, Please? " "Ehm, yeah. But I don't know you, so you'll probably never see this picture." "That's okay." So I took a picture and walked further. I totally forgot, it was only when I saw my developed pictures that I remembered. I decided to show this picture to you, maybe you know who those people are? If you do so, please send me an e-mail or letter! Last year I was taking my train to Ghent, like I did every week. Suddenly an Asian man came to me asking if he could sit in front of me. It was no problem. I was reading a book and I saw in the corner of my eye that he constantly was looking at me, so I lifted my head and just nodded friendly. When he just kept staring I closed my book and then raised his hand to me to shake it, so I did. He start talking (in English) about where he came from, what his job was, where he lived, ... he also told me he had no friends. At first I thought it was just a nice talk, someone who needed to
OUT WITH YOU! °Cool. -That's my style. End of this conversation
"I can tell it's her by her teeth."
°Hung out with the ex girl yesterday. Realised that I miss talking. I love my lady but language difficulties. -Hm, she's french right? You think you have a future with her? °Yeah. We will see. It's like a love that I like showing in public and I think we look good together. Emotions strong, intellect a little neglected. -Time will tell. °Yes. Oh deary me. -Don't feel sorry for yourself, be happy! °Si si Amiga, Es solamenta que Las chicas son tan lindas. -Pero todas chicas lindas son perras falsas. °No no. Me? Hello?! -Nono! The other girls! °Puh saved yourself. - Always. End of this conversation
Herbert Bayer - Self Portrait 1932
STUFFED LAMB
°You honestly never sleep, do you? -Nop! I'm working on my projects! °What are they? -Little books (I have to take a picture every half an hour) and I'm also making an encyclopedia. °Nice! -Yes, I hope so! °Me too project. -What's the project? °Team earth worldwide -Nice. A new project? °Yes, gonna try to sleep now, spent the last 10 hours on a bus. -Ah wow. Good night! End of this conversation
ISSUE #001 I don't know anymore if this issue has a real subject. It's a bit about everything. I just took my collection of print screens and started to write articles or memories around it. Often things out of youtubecontent. Because I watch it a lot. It's fun to do though, It's Like a fanzine about myself. I also know that there will be a lot of mistakes in the English language I use, but I guess you just know what I mean when you read it. If not...just ask! (you'll find my info at the loose page) ISSUE #001
For the last five years, Audrey has been addicted to her stuffed Lamb. Since receiving the plush toy as a gift, the two have been constant companion. “The lamb is my best friend, I can take it with me everywhere I go. He is really just carefree and adventures and awesome. The Lamb loves to be outdoors, it really likes the sunshine. I just really enjoy to spend time with it this way.” “Audrey’s relationship with the lamb is strange, she’s in her 20’ and got a stuffed animal that she wants to take around.” Like most children Audrey loved to play with stuffed animals when she was young, but it wasn’t until she met the lamb that she felt an inseparable band. “The lamb just sort of spoke something to me that no other stuffed animal ever has before. I think the lamb and I share spiritual connection. When I’m looking into the lamb’s eyes I feel a sense of comfort and peace, I can just feel all the stress floating out and away.”
A ROCK FOR BREAKFAST, LUNCH AND DINNER “I don’t think I would function every if I didn’t some quantity of rocks.” She has been addicted to eating rocks for more then 20 years, she was initially attracted to the earty smell. “I was just out walking one day and I had no intention of bit ing into it or chewing on it, but I did and once I did I was soaped on them.” Now she can’t go more than a few hours without eating rocks. “Its the gridding of i tand the earty taste, I actually like how it
talk to someone. Suddenly he asked me If I could sit next to him. I actually didn't really think about it in a weird way and sat down next to him. He took my hand and rubbed it a bit, then I started to think that it actually was weird, certainly when he took his bracelet and putted it around my arm. But okay, I was almost in Bruges to take my other train, so I would just stay and ignore that fact. He was constantly giving me compliments about my clothes, eyes, face, smile, ... and then he laid his head on my shoulder. That was the moment I froze. He also started to sing a song with my name in: "Silke, Silke, 1,2,3,4,5, Silke, Silke, 1,2,3,4,5..." I thought okay, I need some help. So I just looked between the seats in front of me and saw a man, I made a sign to him, I pointed with my other hand to this weird asian man and whispered : "Help Me Please.." But the man just started to laugh and didn't do anything. Luckily we were in Bruges so I took the bracelet from my arm and handed it back to the man, I said goodbye and started to walk superfast to the exit of the train. Then I saw there were papers on the windows from a school who reserved some seats in the train, and I saw that it was my old high school. The Asian man was following me, so I started looking for old teachers, and then I saw my old chemistry teacher. She wasn't my favorite teacher in the world but I was so happy to see her! I went straight to her and asked if I just could join her and the group a bit till the Asian man was gone. We were walking down the stairs and then I saw that man who laughed with me. I told him that I wasn't really happy with the fact that he ignored my cry for help. He said he thought that I knew this guy before, and that he was sorry he helped me to go to my next train because he didn't wanted me to see that asian guy again. I didn't saw the guy anymore so I told the friendly man that I was thank full he walked me to the platform. Then I stepped
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# ROCKS
# IT WAS A HYPE
# WAYS OF HIDING
# WHO KNOWS
# ALL THOSE BIRDS
Carpet (silkscreen)
Streetfont
Layers
All Gabbers look the same
Oh Kate Bush (gif)
Paint experiment
Burrows
Found Poetry
Off Face ISSUE #001 All those things are made by me. zebrakoe.tumblr.com ISSUE #001 4
Lost Font
ISSUE #001 This is a loose page. If you like my 'artwork' or the exquisite body, you can use it as a poster and hang it on your wall. You're welcome. The reason why the conversation on this page is in dutch is because this conversation was between me and the person who helped with the exquisite body. It has nothing to do with the conversations on the other pages. Those are with an Engish °Wanneer mag ik iets aan uw lijnen hangen sil? -Oeh, wil jij meewerken? Ik stuur het je direct door! Heb het eerste zelf gedaan, dus het uwe is het tweede deel! °Ja tuurlijk, maar ik kan het wel pas volgende week doen hihi. -Hah oké, dan is het al te laat. Het moet af zijn maandag. °Ah kut. Stuur keer door, kga zien of het lukt! -Ok, en het mag alles zijn? Beeld, tekst, lijnen? Kleur? °Liefst enkel beeld, en zwart wit! -Okey. Kga het vanavond doen End of this conversation
°K'vind het moeilijk om er iets aan te plakken. Ik vind deze beter en ben kei benieuwd trouwens. -Het moet er niet persé aanhangen hoor! Het tweede is echt goed, yihaah! You're the best! En oeh, dan staat J. er stiekem in. °Haha, jup. -Ik ben zo benieuwd, wanneer mag ik het eens zien? °Normaal moet het morgen af zijn! -Hoeveel heb je er? Geef me een preview! °Jelle ging normaal meewerken, maar dan heeft ze afgehaakt dus heb ik enkel die van m'n eigen en dat van u. -Alé, zo jammer. °Maar morgen zal ik het je doorsturen! -Waarom heb je het niet aan superveel mensen gevraagd gewoon? °Niemand had tijd. Misschien maak ik er gewoon zelf nog enkele bij.. -En waarom moet het morgen af zijn? °Omdat ik het wil End of feedback! this conversation doorsturen voor °Zo Vet!! Ik wil wel een vermelding he. -Ja, sowieso. °Grappig dat zinnetje, want ik ging misschien eerst de ogen uitsnijden. -Haha, blij dat je dat niet deed. Het zou volgens mij wel nog leuk zijn om het te zeefdrukken. °Echt he! -Als ik ooit tijd heb, doe ik dat! °Ik vind onze afbeelding zo cool. Gaan we nog eens een teamwork doen? Binnenkort? - Ja! Maar bij mij gaat het altijd zo met van die rare organische shizzle zijn. Tekenen enzo kan ik niet zo goed. °Ik ook niet, haha. -Maar ik vind het wel echt een goede samenhang. Ge zou niet zeggen dat gij niet wist wat erboven stond. °Ma kvind da mooi zo van die organische dingen, ik kan dat niet haha. En neen inderdaad het past zo echt. T'zijn gelijk bergmannetjes. -Ja zot he! End of this conversation
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"Mom, there's a dead animal in my room."
-Hey, how are you? -How's your art? -Hey, Long time ago. How are you? °Hi, sorry for the silence! I'm going really fine! A lot of work for my erasmus files and a lot of weekends at Paris too. What about you? -Hi! Nice that everything is going well for you! I'm super fine too, a lot of work for school but I like it. Nice! Weekends in Paris, I was there a couple of months ago. -Haha, you're really bad in answering. °Yeah, sorry I'm a real facebook asocial. - Haha, it's okay. As long as you're social in real life. °I am. I just found really boring to talk between screens, it's not very natural. -True. I prefer to see my friends in real life too, but sometimes it's necessary to text them. °I'd really like to meet you in Ghent one day. - Well, you're still welcome. I was in Brussels two weeks ago! °Oh! Let me know if you ever come to brussels too. - I will, maybe I'll come 14 may (there's a concert) °Which group? -Well, there are two groups on the same day. Hindi Zahra or Soley. °Soley is better. It's at the botanique? - hm hm, yes! ° I don't really like that concert hall, but the program is really nice. - Yeah, they have great concerts. °The accoustic is really cheap most of the time. -I think I've only been there once, so I can't really remember. °ahah okay! - But okay, I'll see which concert I'll do. End of this conversation
"At least she doesn't drink paint."
°Feeling better/less worried? -I'm even more confused now. °How that's not too good. -Maybe she'll come to my atelier tonight. Sorry for stalking you with it though. °Who stalking what? -It's okay! I saw her and she was cute. She came with her friends and when they went home she asked them to go to the hallway so she could stay and say goodbye to me. °And? Kiss? Good? -Well, we wanted to, but suddenly someone came in. But I thought it was cute anyway that she sent her friends away. °Yes! I had a complicated skype with my girl. -How come? °Think just realized how hard long distance will be. - All relationships are hard, remember? Would you give up without trying it? ° Of course not, I love this girl. -Oef! °Why oef? 6
feels on my teeth when I’m crunching them up.” “I am very worried about her, when your body can’t handle what your putting inside of it, it’s going to rebel against to you.” Her favorite kind of rock is a mixture of several minerals including granit. She uses a hammer to break i tinto bitesize pieces. “This is about the size I like it because it’s not as hard to swal low. I take mostely a piece like this and normally just put it in my mouth or bite on it, or put the whole piece in my mouth and get the earty taste of it.” She eats up to two pounds of rock a day, that’s about 730 pounds a year. “I wille eat them in front of anybody, I’m not ashamed of it, so it doesn’t really bother me.”
Akira Kurosawa - Rashomon (1950)
A CARROT A DAY, KEEPS THE DOCTOR AWYAY "I have thirty five carrots tattooed on my body, I got a twenty four carrot-armband and I got 4 tattooed on my other arm, six on my back and a huge one on my belly. I just want to have the most carrots in the world." She has devoted her entire life to the carrot. So obsessed with her favorite vegetable, she has decorated all rooms in her house in a carrot-theme. From a carrot dining room to a carrot bathroom. "I have over a thousand carrot items. I spend four, five hours a day re-organizing my collection, assessing what I have. Here's a carrot jump rope, cheese grater, soaps. When I see a cute carrot item, I buy five or six of them. I don't want any body else to have that cute carrot item, I want it all for myself. I have my personal community of carrot friends. Carrot plushy that I can hangout with. My favorite is Drunky Carrot, he's my little buddy." Her carrot connection is so strong she even use them to roll her hair every night.
IN LOVE WITH AIR "I'm in a relationship with fifteen inflatable animals. My inflatables are the most funny creators to hang out with in my life. I eat with them, watch TV together, I bath my inflatables. I do take them out swimming." His addiction to inflatables started si years ago, when he purchased a whale for his pool, since then the college-student has added fourteen animals to his inflatable family. He even prefers them over people. "The bigger they are, the better they are. It means more to love. It's just really nice to have someone to talk too." "When I first found out about his addiction I thought it was strange and didn't understand how you can be into something
on the train and you never guess who was sitting there...indeed..the Asian guy. He asked me to sit next to him again, but I just nodded and walked as far as I could! I was so happy when I finally arrived at Ghent. I was paranoid 'til I was inside my studentroom. I never saw him again. Luckily.
# MY OWN OBSESSION I must say I have a little obsession myself too. 'A little' can be an understatement. It's all about my sweetest bunny, Perlefine. It was a bit of an impulsive decision to let her in to my life. My neighbors have the greatest garden of our neighborhood. They have lots of rabbits, special birds, ducks, chickens, etc. I used to go there often when I was little. They have a son of my age and a daughter that has the same age as my younger sister (my sister died, but that's a long story, I also have a younger brother), their dad is a carpenter and we (the son and me) always played together. We made 'furniture' and played to sell it, that was the best time of my life. We also built tree-houses. But now all those trees changed in ugly houses. But okay this is actually way too much information. I just wanted to talk a bit about my rabbit. She's just lovely. This will sound cheesy but she really helped me trough some hard times. I never thought a rabbit could be this fun to have. She lives with me in my room (and she can run everywhere, also when it's a bit warmer she can go outside), she lies with me in my bed and comes to me when she wants some attention. Every weekend she joins me at my way home, with the train. Since I have her, I talk a lot with Strangers..well, they start to talk with me. When they see me at the train with this little cage, they always ask me what's inside of it.
-Because I think you're happy with her and would be unhappy when something came between. °Yes. We will try. But I'm not the best at patience. - It will be a challenge. °Me like her a lot. - Ooh! End of this conversation
that is not really real?" He first turned to his inflatable for love and affection when he was fourteen years old. "My mother wasn't really there for me, when I was a child. First time hugged my inflatable animal, I felt that love and con nection that I never had." Now he is so depended on his inflatables that he can't be separated from them for more than a day. "When I am at school, I start missing them. It's almost like go ing a little bit crazy. Once I go home, basically hug and give them a kiss, just spend some family time together. Let's say everyone of my inflatables has a different personality. Some like different types of music, some don't. Some like to be lazy and sleep all day. I would say we get along pretty well.
"WAIST" OF TIME "No wonder her tongue is black"
- Oops, I look like a stalker but I really need to share this with you. (Steinjo-Friday Fahrenheit) °Ahah, you have to do a lot more to look like a stalker. -Oef, how were your letters of last time? °Oh my god, did you hold out until the end? My heart bleeds to much for that. But really funny. -No! I didn't hold out until the end. Maybe I should do now. °Sorry, I didn't understand the last sentence (about the letters) aha, noo! Don't do it! - Haha, is it that bad? (And last time we were talking about the fact you were designing letters) I have to laugh so much with his lips. °ahah OK, sorry. Yes it was of, but not really finished. You were sell book at the Ghent book fair? -I bought books! °Which ones? -A book with silkscreens, uhm from: Atkinson and sanson and another one. °nice choices. -I also got one for free because no one bought it. And I really like them, especially the first one (except the cover, I really hate the cover) °I really thought of you when I saw the 2nd one at brussels. -The blue one? °Yes, I thought I sent you the link. -Whoehoe! Well I bought it! °But maybe I just thought I was. -There was an artbook fair in Brussels too? °No, but they exposed it in a gallery. -Aah! I really love books like this. °Really nice book. - Yes, they also had like the 'original' version of it, with real silkscreens and signed by the auhor. But I bought the normal version. ° Aha, I saw the other. But too expensive. I take a break on my art history course, and I just found that. (Erasure Love to Hate you) - Yes it was like 55euros I think. And haha I don't know that song! °Really cheap but so good for a break on malevitch. -The musicvideo makes me so happy! I really need things like this in my life. °Sometimes a stupid break is great. End of this conversation
ISSUE #001 I guess the thoughts that comes along with the conversations you can read will go mad. I admit that I know this girl through internet. ISSUE #001
She has been shrinking her waist for the last thirty-five years by using her corsets. Her waist has gone from twenty-six inches to between fifteen to eighteen inches. "Cathy did become the love of my life and still is." "We've been married for fifty-five years, it seems pretty timeless" "I like the appearance and I like the feeling of the small waist. I always been more attractive to it." Her husband is a physician, he ensures that the corsets do not interfere with her health. "This has always been a long-standing question going back to the Victorian times, what happens inside the body when a person wears a corset. It does maybe compromise your stom ach, you don't eat as much at one time. But organs really don't shift any more than with a person that is pregnant. They may be pushed to one side a little bit, but nothing permanent." "It is nothing uncommon to have areas that are a bit more bruised on the side where the bones are attached or the stitches or where stitches from the corset come to the skin. Contrary to popular knowledge the corset doesn't have to hurt." She had an anniversary surprise planned for her husband. "I've decided to surprise him and wear one of my special outfits." It takes her two hours to put on a corset by herself. Normally she gets some help from her husband, but now that it's a surprise she has to do it on her own. She uses the doorknob to create enough tension to properly tighten her corset.
Every time. Mostly those strangers are old ladies or small kids, I must admit that I had a little hope that Perlefine would be a chick magnet..but no. At the very beginning my parents were not that into Perle, but suddenly they started to love her too. They bought a bigger cage for her, sit with her in the sofa and even talk to her with strange voices. Sometimes I'm a bit confused when I see it, but then I realize that I do the same things. Every day she has her fresh vegetables, I make salads for Her..like really good looking salads. I only buy the expensive food because she doesn't like the other kind of food and I'm really a freak about her diet. She can't have too much sugar because rabbits are such sensitive animals. When I go out with friends, I always want to go home early because I think it's so sad she's there all by herself in her cage (she only can comes out when I'm with her). My friends say that I go a bit too far with her, I talk to much about Perle and I'm really spoiling her. They even think my kid in the future will walk over me because I'm not strict at all. Sometimes Perle pees on my bed, but I can't be mad at her because she's so cute. Also, she doesn't know that she can't pee there. She doesn't understands it when I'm mad. I can't sit in my sofa anymore, because it's her sofa now. Maybe I, indeed, go a little bit too far. But when she's happy, I am. Let's change subject.
Favorite Landscape
BLEACHING FOR LIFE "I love bleach a lot, I almost say I love it more than I love my self, but I do love bleach. I don't consider myself as an OCD, I'm not allergic to dirt. I'm not afraid of bacteria, I just love bleach." Everyday she cleans the whole house with bleach, from top to bottom. She goes trough more than three hundred gallons every year. Bleach has ruined her clothes and her furniture, but she refuses to stop using bleach.
# THINGS I SUCK AT Well, I actually suck at lots of things. I'm also good in a lot of things though, but that's not where this article is about. My biggest issue is that I really can't make any decision in my life. I'm such a doubter. Mostly 7
-How are you? °Very good if my introspection isn't fooling me today. How about you? -I have to write a paper today.. The deadline is 23.59h. °Oh dear. -Yup. °Gurl, I'm tindering. -I'm thinking to tinder again. °Match me! There is not that many hot people on there. -But aren't you too far away to be on my radar? °Am I? You're on my radar. -My tinderprofile is still online? °Read it in a flirty way my sentence. -Haha oops, I'm so good with things like this. Not. Well, you are definitely on my radar. °Am I really?? - Yes you are, and I think your pet is on Perlefine's radar too. °It's not the same race. -She's not that picky. °Talking about yourself in the 3rd person? -Hah no! About Perle! °Why didn't we hook up? - Because I was shy and acted a bit weird I guess. °Ok -But you could have tried! °I have never made a move like in my life. Ever. -For real? °Don't think so. -I almost always make the move. °There we go. -Not always though. And I always have to be really sure that the other person won't mind. °Never know if you don't try. -That's true, so maybe you should make more moves then. °Buuut, I am a shy girl. -No, you're not. °I am! Seriously, when it comes to that.. - I am shy too, but like, I hate the situation of looking in each others eyes and waiting till someone makes a move.
"I use it to clean everything. My stairs, my tables, my kitch en, my bath, my toilet, my chairs, my sink,my stove, my floor, my clothes,..everything. There were some times that I walked in the house and the bleach infects me." Her addiction to bleach began seven years ago, when she was pregnant with her third child. "When I was pregnant, I used to take a piece of tissue and put it in bleach and take it like a coke. My nutritionist and doctor, they made me stop doing it. I thought it was just be cause I was pregnant and that it would go away." But her bleach addiction did not go away, she's even taking it a step further. Every morning she adds bleach to her bath water. "Every time I take a shower or a bath I need bleach. I'm happy to use it. I first do the water and then add bleach in the tub, it's not a special amount. I just add it till I think it's enough. When my skin starts to tingle and my eyes start to hurt, then I know it's time to get out."
FOREVER AND EVER
Amy and Becky's addiction intensified about 20 years ago, when Amy weighed 15 pounds more than her sister. "For some reason Amy gained a tiny bit more weight than me, and people were always like: "Oh, you're the big twin, you're the smaller twin." And from that moment out we eat the exact size of food, the same sips of drink to stay the same weight. In no matter what. Whenever we have situations that we can't tell if it's even or not we pull out the scale and weigh it." Amy and Becky never spend more than 30 minutes apart. They even sleep in the same bedroom. "We've never had our own rooms, and we don't want to have it." "My main concern is that one would die before the other, and the other one would be lost completely without the other one. I've never heard of them being in a long term relationship ever. And that concerns me a lot." Amy and Becky have agreed to spend 24 hours apart. It's the longest they've been separated in over 20 years. "It's driving me crazy, I don't know how I can hold myself together so long, because I feel like half of me is been cut off. I'll never agree to do this ever again." "It's a weird mood for me right now, there's no one to talk to and I don't know what to do. You know, I can't wait for, what is it, like ten hours now, I've got fourteen more hours to go. I don't know what's going to happen. I miss her like it's half myself. I can't wait to see her. "heeeeey, i'm glad to see you! Omg, I hated this so much. I hated it, I hated it. I'll never do this again. Amy and Becky are still addicted to being identical. They have no plans to change.
WHITE MOUTH
"Did humans run out of things to have an obsession with ?!"
-Then I'm like: Fuck this, I'm going to make a move. °I enjoy that up to a certain extend. -Yes it's fun for some time, but when it lasts too long then I start to be impatient. °Oh my god! I think the guy just managed to repair our shower! You know what that means: hot shooower! -Haha, okay. Enjoy it! °Not yet, first meeting the ex for a talk and working out with him, not sure why that mix. 8
"As it's going down your throat it feels really nice and warm, almost like a thicker version of warm milk. But obviously it has this really strong chemical to it, which is perfect to me." Heather drinks at least one paint marker every day. That's nearly three gallons of paint since her addiction began. "When you get the marker, you need to shake it obviously. You can already see that there's paint around the edge. I put that in my mouth and suck the excess off, and now you have what I drink. Obviously it's not something that I can do in front of my children. My children have seen it on my teeth or on my mouth or smelled it on my breath, but no one knows I drink paint." Paint often contains more than half a dozen lethal chemicals including Xylene. When aspirated, Xylene can cause immediate pulmonary bleeding, seizures and even death. "Stephany and I are best friends, today I'm going to admit my addiction to drinking paint to Stephany. It's something that's out of the ordinary so I'm a little shaky right now." "I brought you here because I want to tell you something." "Okay.."
I'm doubting such long time that when I finally decide 99% of the options are already gone. It happens on all fronts. I have it with lots of school stuff, for this little fanzine I doubted so long about the subject that I ended without feedback because I hadn't made enough pages on 1 subject. I always start lots of different files but never finish one. And the problem is that I don't want to show the unfinished ones, or the ones I think are too bad for showing. So I may say that that's a problem too. Notwithstanding that I'm a woman, but I can't do two things at the same time. When I'm strumming my guitar in a certain rhyme, I can't talk . When I start to talk, I stop strumming and vice versa. It's really annoying in situations where people ask me to play something, but at the same time want to talk with me. I'm also the worst in getting up. I don't have any character on that Front..unfortunately. But I'm working on it. I'm trying to bring some structure in my life and change my biorhythm into a normal one. I also must say that I'm really bad in letting things go. I can think about something said for days, weeks, months or even years. Especially with relationships (as in: after they dumped me). I'm also really not good in park among two cars, when I have to park behind or between two cars in an S-bend there's no problem. Neither are sports my cup of tea, I was one of the worst in high school. The teacher even told me he really hopes I will find a sport that fits me. Once we had to jump over a pretty large thing after jumping of a trampoline. Instead of jumping
"Trisha would do anything to be on cam"
-Good luck with that. °(sending a gif) -Beautiful. °Boreeeee -Entertain me. °Current situation (sending a picture) -You look kind of sad. Or maybe just bored. °Bored. Bored and no shower. -Listen to some music? Or play some yourself? °In a bit. Are you a graphic designer? -Almost, a bit. °Yes. -Why? Is this question-hour? °How do you feel yourself in that roll? -The graphic designer roll? Well a little bit uncertain. °But a warm shower would fix that! -Hah, I can take a warm shower. °I confirm, it does. (sending a picture) -Yes, a showered you. °(sending a picture) agro mood. -Such an agrolady you. °Only way to be nice when it matters. -Too bad of the 'fuck you's' though. °Some people deserve fuck you's! -I do? End of this conversation
°How are you? -I'm okay. I was a bit sad today without real reason, so I hope it will be better tomorrow. °Life, love? Both? -Ehm, I don't know actually. I was just suddenly sad, it came over me. I think I feel a bit lonely for some reason. But how are you? °I'm good I think. Yes, also slightly lonely. -Hm, But..good is good. °It is.
End of this conversation
Ponydog
"It's something that is unusual...I am adicted to drinking paint." "Paint?" "..out of paintmarkers." "No..wow" "I'm doing it now, for about two, two and a half years." "Really? So how much are you drinking a day, an hour, a week?" "Ehm, about a marker a day..something like that. Sometimes more." "Really? Have you thought what this is going to do to your children? And what you have done to your body? "Yes, and that's another reason, the main reason...my kids are the main reason for doing this." "Okay, I'll be here no matter what." "I know, thank you. You don't think bad of me?" "I don't, not at all." "So I got your lab-results back, and your kidney function is a little bit abnormal. The paint in the longs can cause death. "Well, I'm ready, I'm ready to do this. Because I will, I have to, no doubt. I have to get rid of this addiction. For my children." Heather has been paint-free since filming. Her kidney function has returned to normal again.
IT'S FREEZING INSIDE ME
"I found her online on a dating website"
ISSUE #001 This work contains screenshots I've been collecting since last summer. I started to collect them when I noticed that I actually take a lot of screenshots during my days. Everytime I come across something I think is weird,unlogical or just funny, I want to remember it by taking a screenshot of it. I guess there are no protected images involved in this issue (except the one of Herbert Bayer). ISSUE #001
She eats almost nothing but ice cream bars. "I get obsessed over Ice cream bars, they fresh my throat all the way down to my stomach. It's almost like having a lover." Kimberly eats as many as forty ice cream bars every single day, from morning until late in the night. "There is times that I get up at night and need ice cream bars in the middle of the night every couple of hours. When I eat this ice cream bars it is like everything else goes away." Kimberly consumes hundred of ice cream bars each month, that's more than ten thousand a year. "I know that it's an addiction. I wonder what's so wrong with me that I need so many ice cream bars a day. I struggled with my weight ever since I was ten. 280 pounds was the worst I ever was. Ten years ago, Kimberly underwent gastric bypass surgery to control her weight, she lost a 150 pounds. "I felt like for once, I was pretty." She stayed at that weight until three years ago, when she got obsessed with ice cream bars. "I've went to a really painful divorce, my self esteem was low. I just collapsed into myself. Then my mom was visiting and she brought a box of these Ice cream bars, and I decided to try one. It was like crack. Since my divorce I have been using ice cream
over that thing, I just bumped into it. It was so hard that I was on the floor for a while, and all my classmates (including teacher) were around me asking if I was feeling all right. Well, those times were good though! My brother is the complete opposite of me, he's supergood in all kind of sports. Planning and following schedules aren't made for me neither. I love to make schedules, but I just never follow them. Same with keeping my agenda, I can write everything in it, but I just never open it to look what I have to do that day. Well I guess everyone has his /her downsides, no? # OOOOOPS Well, I must say that I'm not always THAT nice to people. It seems like I'm super nice all the time, but I'm not. I really can be mean. Not in people's faces, but behind their back. Not always of course, most of the time I'm nice and I defend people. Maybe I should give some examples. Last year I had a surpriseparty, it was organised by a friend of mine, it was for my birthday. A lot of friends came over to my place, but they told me my roommates didn't like the Idea and did difficult. So they were a bit mad at them. My friends wanted to take revenge (in a childish way). They told me that they would put their toothbrushes in the toilet and then put them back afterwards. I actually thought it was a stupid idea, but i just let them go and do it. I never told my roommates..oops. With my ex girlfriend I had (well, actually still have) a kind of hobby to send pictures to each other 9
-Goh, I'm sooo sad latest time! I don't know why. °Shall I come cheer you up soon? Or be sad together? -Yes please. °You busy this week? -Yes, I have my finals + my first jury 1june. °I also have my exams that week - Hah so you're busy yourself. °Oh I didn't see the yes, ehm, omgfuuuck that's in a week. -yes. °Thought that was in like 2,3 weeks. Woops. -That's my panicthing too. °Oh Gosh. I was gonna say I could come tomorrow? -I have an exam tomorrow AND tuesday. (This week I could be free on tuesday (from 13h), wednesday and thursday. (And friday during daytime, but not in the evening! °I'll see how far I get with studying. -Alright. Good luck! °But I wanna chill. You are genuine. I want to listen to music and talk to you. -Well you'll see if ou have time. (You can meet my rabbit then) °Ooh yes. -Maybe you can fix my problems, or your rabbit. °At least we can try. -Good night. °Good night.
bars as a way to feel better, I started to gain weight again, and that just deflated my self esteem." Kimberly rarely sees her two sons, her one son Drew is at college and her other son Steven lives in New York. Without her sons in house, the impact of her divorce is even greater. "I do believe it infected her a lot, the fact that we were gone and that she had nobody else." A couple of months ago Kimberly moved and she only knows a few people there. "She's alone and I think she's getting comfort of eating ice cream bars. She's completely shut of of the world." "When I eat these ice cream bars, all I feel is contentment and love." In just three years, Kimberly's excesses consumption of ice cream bars has affected her health. She gained back fifty pounds and has type two diabetes. "I don't develop a healthy life. I don't think that I will live until an acceptable age." "She isn't getting enough nutrition and is just eating sugar all day up of her diabetes. If she doesn't do something about her addiction, I'm afraid she will end up death."
End of this conversation
-Fuck, my crush is starting to like things again on my fbwall. It's the one of my atelier. It's more than a year that I have a crush on her. °What's her name? And who is she? -Well that girl of my class that suddenly came to my place in the middle of the night. °Is she gay? I don't remember that story. -yep, this one. °She looks cool. Why have you never got with her? I need to go to Ghent. -Because she said no no, we kissed twice. °Seems to be a lot of cool gay chicas. -And then she was confused, because she wasn't gay, and now she is gay. °Hahaha -But like, not that into me I guess. I don't know, it's always awkward between us and there's kind of an atmosphere (I think). °She would hit you up. -Tension. °Wait and maybe some day it will happen? -I don't know. I hope so, but I can't hope. She's starting to 'talk' again and starting to like things on facebook. °Girl, don't social media! Come to Maastricht! -You better come to Ghent! °Ja, ok. Why u neva crush on me? -Because I can't do that. °Whyy -Because you live in Maastricht, and if I crush on you, you should crush on me because it's stupid to have a 'one-sided-crush'. °How you know I no crush on you? -I don't know. Do you? °Do I? -Don't think so! °Let's chill and we shall see. -Guess you're going to sleep. And okay, we'll chill! °hoooi, hoi, naar het dromenland. Ik ben die olifant. -Slaapwellll. End of this conversation
ISSUE #001 To be Continued. ISSUE #001 10
Backstroke Kick
HAIR AND TEETH "Just chewing it is relaxing, it's a comforting feeling. Her fur has such an interesting texture, it's so soft and puffy. And like cotton candy. Sometimes it get stuck in between your teeth, but you just can get them out with flossing and brushing." "When my sister told me she was eating cat hair, I was shocked. It's strange, I don't think she should be eating it." Fifteen years ago, Lisa began eating cat hair.It was a way to feel closer to her pets. But it wasn't until she got a new kitten that her unusual bonding ritual turned into a full blown addiction. Now two years later, Lisa's so hooked on consuming cat hair, that she can't go two hours without a bit. "I kind of look at it to make sure it's clean, then I break it apart and just put it in my mouth. I chew it up a little bit and then get out and mess with it a little bit and then put it in again. I guess you can maybe say it has a bit of a cotton ball taste. But it has much less of a flavor than even human hair." Lisa eats three quarter-sized hair balls every day. That's more than 3200 hair balls since her addiction began. "I find the cat hair that I eat all over the apartment, on the floor, on the back of a couch or on the perch. But the best ones are right of the cat." But eating cat hair isn't the only way Lisa feeds her addiction. "I grew my cat with my tongue, like a mama cat does to her kitten. When she's like spread out on my arms, I kinda clean her shoulders,back,ears or her face. But I don't get involved like another cat, I don't rub her butt. But it's a bond- ing thing, she seems to enjoy it. Sometimes I think it's not that healthy, but I can't stop it. It's my love for cats and their fur." "I really think you should do something about it, but I can not force you to it." "I know, but as long as there no problems, I'll keep eating my cat's fur."
from people we think look weird. Also people we know. I still hope no one ever finds out about the 'collection' because it's super rude. But it's like just a thing between us, I can't explain. It's also the only person i'm doing it with. I also sometimes can be talking with someone and thinking bad things about them at the same time. But maybe everyone does it? Or maybe I'm just over thinking it too much. I'm probably as nice or as rude as all others. And maybe sometimes it's necessary to be rude. Because no one is always nice. Maybe I'm just trying to feel less guilty by saying this. I actually just don't care, I used to care a lot about things like this, but now I'm just like trying not to think to much about things I say or do. It's easier to live this way. I guess it's fine as long as I keep caring about people and know when it's a bit too rude. I'm glad this is the last article, this Dark&Stormy starts to look like a place where I put all my problems, I guess you're not interested in this kind of talk. It's not that it will change anything. So I'd better shut my mouth. # SMALL TALKS Now that we're at the end of this Dark & Stormy it might be time to say something that I rarely say. I should make it more clear to my parents that I really love them, and really appreciate what they do for me. They'll probably never read this but anyway: Mum, dad, I love you. Well, this is the place where I'll put the contributors. Actually there were only 2 real people involved in making this Dark&Stormy. The one I have the conversations with and the one who helped me with the exquisite body. I also used comments of people commenting on youtube-movies. So those will be in there too. Contributors: Kamilla Siffer, Kvnpry, Ada Goth, TLC, Jack Noff, Maison Meubles, Waris Your Jokes, Donder Lillo, Silke Vandekerckhove