BECAUSE I SAID SO...
THINGS I IRRATIONALLY LOVE WRITTEN BY JULIE BURTON / PHOTO BY JAMI BOWMAN
A good pen. Nice grip. Smooth flow of ink. Man, I hope they don’t stop teaching cursive in school. I’m probably too late in wishing for this.
Love is weird. It comes in all forms. There’s unconditional love. There’s friendship love. There’s the love of Ted Lasso. There’s sibling love-hate. There’s Kansas City barbecue love. And there’s irrational love—the love that doesn’t really make sense, but it totally makes sense. Here are the top things I irrationally love.
Halloween. The candy. The dressing up. The kids’ laughter through the streets. The fog. The scent of smashed pumpkins from those teenagers with nothing better to do. Walking on gravel. I can’t describe it. It feels like I’m going to accomplish something. Give me a gravel sidewalk to walk on and I’ll figure out a way to take over the world. Photobombing. It’s rude. I know I should stop. Driving to the airport. I get excited when I know I’m going to the airport. Even if I’m picking someone up. Where are you going? The airport. Ah. Putting on makeup before working out. What? I’ll admit it. Driving alone at night. I sing. Loud. I do this at night so people can’t see me singing.
creepy kind of smile, but the kind of smile that is in the eyes. I see them remembering the joy. It’s a nice reminder as I get a bag of marshmallows thrown at my head while my kids are throwing food in my cart (and missing) while on their phones. Flossing. I like clean teeth. And I eat a lot of popcorn. Digging out chunks is my favorite. I’m here for you, dental hygienists. Walking into a room with high heels and realizing I’m the tallest one in the room. It’s a strange love because I am not that confident. Tornado sirens. I was born and raised in Kansas. I have never seen a tornado. Just knowing everyone must stop what they’re doing and go hide is exciting because we might be able to say we’ve been in a tornado. Safely, in the basement. I’m not the crazy one who looks for them. Vacuuming. Oh, God! Sprinkle something crunchy on the floor and let me vacuum it. Best noise ever.
Catching people older than me smiling at my kids in public. Not the
Julie Burton is an Overland Park mom, writer, K-State lover, and bacon-hater. She is a blogger and contributing author to the humor book, But Did You Die?: Setting the Parenting Bar Low. Burton’s also been named one of the Today Show’s “funniest parents.” And yes, she really does hate bacon. Please don’t drop her as a friend. Follow Julie at: julieburton.blog • facebook.com/julieburtonwriter • twitter.com/ksujulie • instagram.com/ksujulie
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SIMPLYkc MAGAZINE
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OCTOBER 2021
