BECAUSE I SAID SO...
WHAT’S MY AGE AGAIN? WRITTEN BY JULIE BURTON / PHOTO BY JAMI BOWMAN
There are many things you can say about your age. There’s the timeless saying, “Age is just a number.” John Lennon said, “Count your age as friends, not years.” And Walt Disney said, “Growing old is mandatory, but growing up is optional.”
Age really is about how you feel, not how you look in a mirror. My real is age 40. But the age I feel? That depends on what I’m doing. I can feel like I’m young and dumb or old and wise. Here are the ages I feel.
life. Metabolism is trending down. My muscle mass is getting smaller. I’m lucky I don’t have back problems yet. But 40 feels good, even if I’m walking out of a cardio class with a purple face.
THE CORPORATE WORLD: 24
THE PARENTING TEENAGERS WORLD: 18
I graduated college in 2004. Fast forward to 2022 and I might as well have graduated a couple years ago. I didn’t enter the corporate world after graduation. I stayed home and raised my two kids during my twenties and thirties. I did freelance writing—a lot of it. Now I work full time. I’m quickly making up lost years and learning how to talk the KPI talk. For those of you who (like me not long ago) aren’t familiar with office nomenclature, KPI stands for Key Performance Indicator.
THE DATING WORLD: 45 I’m aging physically. Looking good isn’t effortless anymore. There are wrinkles around my eyes. I have lines going down my chest (I call them cougar lines). I feel older than 40, but 45 isn’t a bad age. Dating at 40 (or dating at any age) is exciting and new. But this time, a dream wedding is not the goal. Neither is having babies together. It’s strangely comforting just hanging out with someone without the pressures of being young.
THE FITNESS WORLD: 40 I feel my age. Whatever 40 is supposed to feel like, I feel that. There’s no more eating Taco Bell at midnight. I have to work harder at maintaining the body of my young adult
Please … I know all the tricks. Frozen vodka in the fridge is not vodka, child. My teenagers will not outsmart me. I feel 18 and I know very well that the parents are the enemy. Only I’m not an enemy. I’m just a smarter teenager at heart.
THE DAUGHTER WORLD: 22 No matter my age, I’m still my parent’s daughter. I’m younger than them and don’t know what they know. I’ll still ask for their advice and take freebies from their fridge when I visit. I still try to do good for them and make them proud.
THE MUSIC WORLD: 19 Come on, my kids love Eminem and Snoop Dog for a reason. The ‘90s music never dies and neither will my 19-year-old music taste.
THE DRIVING WORLD: 50 I can parallel park and haven’t had a ticket in forever. Car insurance loves me. I’m not take her driver’s license away old, but I feel a maturity that only comes with years of driving experience.
Julie Burton is an Overland Park mom, writer, K-State lover, and bacon-hater. She is a blogger and contributing author to the humor book, But Did You Die?: Setting the Parenting Bar Low. Burton’s also been named one of the Today Show’s “funniest parents.” And yes, she really does hate bacon. Please don’t drop her as a friend. Follow Julie at: julieburton.blog • facebook.com/julieburtonwriter • twitter.com/ksujulie • instagram.com/ksujulie
40
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SIMPLYkc MAGAZINE
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JUNE 2022
