Couples Connection

Connecting After COVID-19

How to rekindle your relationship

By Chellee Unruh

The pandemic brought a new dynamic to the home environment. Couples sheltered for months with few outlets and limited access to support or reprieve. Finances were tight, and risks were high. Many had to choose between their health and providing for their families, most parents were forced into new roles as educators when schools shut down and online learning commenced. Studies have shown that financial problems, too much arguing, and division in parenting and household responsibilities are among the top reasons couples separate or file for divorce. Circumstances are ripe for the dissolution of relationships when unemployment and fear are at an all-time high.

Thankfully, we are now in recovery mode as a nation and relationships can follow suit. It is a good time to refocus on rebuilding with your spouse. Rekindle the flame that burned bright pre-pandemic. Here are some great ideas you can try.

Go out for dinner to a new place – Exploring a new restaurant together can be a great conversation starter. There are many things to discuss, starting with the atmosphere food and service. Sometimes the hardest part of reconnecting is learning how to talk to one another again, so start with an easy conversation and work your way up to the heavier topics. Bonus: You will be helping to support and rebuild an industry that also suffered during the pandemic.

Get a couples massage – Stress is in our bodies as much as in our heads and hearts. Massages can be a great way to ease tension in your bodies and between each other. Why not book a little extra time to sit in the sauna to enjoy some alone time when you are completely relaxed? Go back to the beginning – When it seems hard to live in the present go back to where it all began. Return to the place where you met and together take a walk down memory lane. Share what each of you were thinking and feeling at that moment. A place where you share happy memories can remind you of who you are and what attracted you to each other.

Get your blood pumping together – There is a reason that those romance shows like the Bachelor include dates where the couples do something daring like bungee jumping. Because adrenaline increases attraction! When you are exerting yourself you are releasing endorphins. So go on an adventure together. Gear up for a hike or a new exercise activity you have never done before.

Plan secret dates for each other – It always feels good when someone does something special just for you. So when date night rolls around, take turns planning dates for each other. Make sure that the date is focused on what your partner likes when it is your turn to plan and not around your individual likes and desires. Also, be careful about planning something only your spouse likes, as you run the risk of you being unhappy. The goal is to make each other feel good so plan dates that identify your partner’s strengths and pair them with yours.

Mental health and relationship health is something to take very seriously. If you find that you are struggling in rekindling your relationship on your own, consider seeking the help of a professional. Admitting that you need help is a sign of strength, not weakness. It shows that you care about your relationship and you want to do all you can to repair any damage and rekindle the flame. n