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Soul Ties Troia Butcher
T
he death of a loved one is never easy to go through. It is possibly the greatest loss that many people will face in their lifetime. Those we love to have become an integral part of our daily lives and our existence. When they have passed away, we often feel lost or confused. Moving through life without the ability to communicate or interact with them can be devastating. How we manage to cope with death varies from individual to individual. My relationship with death is slightly different than others, because of my upbringing in the church. I am the daughter of a pastor, and we were raised to place the needs of others above our own, especially when it pertained to the death of someone’s loved one. When I became an ordained minister, one of my responsibilities was to help bereaved family members cope with the death of their loved ones. We attempted to be a source of comfort and strength during their time of loss. We learned to separate ourselves emotionally from the relationship we may have had with the deceased to support the family. I did not take lightly my responsibility as a minister during these times and being a shoulder for
W.O.E
those in need is an integral part of my ministry. Because I learned to separate my emotions from serving, I did not fully grasp the emotional toll that death could have, until I experienced several significant deaths of my own. It was then that I understood how devastating death could be. Even though my ministerial training prepared me to minister to others, when my best friend passed away, I was at a loss. I could not completely wrap my mind around the fact that he was gone. It was then that I understood that death was hard not because we live without hope, but because we are forced to live without the relationship. It is that loss of the relationship that is devastating. How do we move forward without them here? Death has stolen not only the person’s physical body, but it has taken our bond with them to the grave. When I began writing my book, I did so because my best friend Peter passed away unexpectedly. I began writing to help me cope with his death. I needed to find a way to live my new normal without his presence. As I was writing I realized that there were other deaths, such as my relatives, my mentor,
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