Skinnie Magazine November 2006

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10184 6th Street Suite A Rancho Cucamonga, CA 91730 office: 909.476.0270 fax: 909.476.5931

WWW.SKINNIEMAGAZINE.COM PUBLISHERS Jimmy Clinton (jimmy@skinniemagazine.com) George Giordano (george@skinniemagazine.com) EDITOR-IN-CHIEF Hans Fink (hans@skinniemagazine.com)

SALES/MARKETING DIRECTOR Jason Zahler (jasonz@skinniemagazine.com) VP OF CORPORATE SALES & MARKETING Jody Sigmund (jody@skinniemagazine.com)

ART DIRECTOR Robb Sackett (robbs@skinniemagazine.com)

LEAD GRAPHIC DESIGNER Andrea Fisher (andrea@skinniemagazine.com) ACTION SPORTS MARKETING REP Kevin Ashford (kevin@skinniemagazine.com) LOS ANGELES MUSIC MARKETING REP Jason Kuska (jasonk@skinniemagazine.com)

ADVERTISING Derrick Jones (derrick@skinniemagazine.com) Austin Jenne (austin@skinniemagazine.com) Jessee (jessee@skinniemagazine.com)

FEATURES Music 42 Primus 44 46 49 51 52

Killswitch Engage Evanescence Visionaries Saosin Indie Noize: Shoppy, Idasas, Rayzing Sons

Sports 28 Christian Hosoi

30 Mike Metzger goes to CORR 36 Score Card: McGrath Invitational, Etnies GvR, UFC 65, Formula Drift, KOTC

Life 22 Cutting Room Floor The Original

Premises of Your Favorite ‘80s Cartoons 24 Anime Anthropology What Anime tells us about life in Japan 26 The Loss of Innocence How the Muppet Babies Ruined an Entire Generation 56 Meet the Artists Bios on the greats who contributed to this issue’s illustrations 58 Drawn Together 77 Event Reviews KROQ Inland Invasion, Bamboozle,Trilogy,Travis Barker and DJ AM

ACCOUNTING MANAGER Melody Giordano (melody@skinniemagazine.com) DISTRIBUTION & PROMOTION Donald Stefanovich (don@skinniemagazine.com) Metal Mike (metalmike@skinniemagazine.com) AcropolisRPM (acropolisrpm.com) LAS VEGAS TEAM Valentine (LasVegas@skinniemagazine.com) SAN DIEGO TEAM

(SanDiego@skinniemagazine.com)

CONTENT EDITORS Kat Galvan, Guy E. White, Brooke Ellis

CONTRIBUTING WRITERS Donald Stefanovich, Kat Galvan, Jasen T. Davis, Matthew McLaughlin, Jeffrey Easton, Alex Mendoza, Guy E. White, Eric Bonholtzer, PJ Yatar, Bobby D. Lux, Brooke Ellis, Felix, Alan Weiler, Chris Hansen, Kevin Ashford, Club Planet, Tito Ortiz, KROQ Surfologist Rockin’ Fig, CONTRIBUTING PHOTOGRAPHERS Michael Vincent, Hans Molenkamp, Rick Mann, Tiffany Harned, Jay Ojeda, Matt McInvale, Tracy Lee, Jeffrey Easton, David Gatson, Guy Vaught, Jared Milgrim, Christina Prieto, KCW Photo, Joanna Tichauer, Tracy Lee at napkin Nights, Hans at PubDistrict CONTRIBUTING STAFF Deedee Borden, Chris Cook, Greg Alford, Misery, Matt Frazier, James Bliss, Brandon Huguez, Linda Dobyns, Ryan Saner, Kenny Pollich, Alan Fascinetto, Shauna Dysart, Courtney James, Bryndon Smith, Allyson Foreman, Brianna Sheets, Farah Ramsdell WEB MASTER Jay Grewall (jay@skinniemagazine.com) COVER ILLUSTRATED BY: Roy Gonzalez LEGAL DISCLAIMER

The content in this magazine is for entertainment and intended for mature audiences only. Advertisers are responsible for their ads placed in the magazine. Skinnie Magazine is not responsible for any actions taken by their readers. We may occasionally use images placed in public domain. Sometimes, it is not possible to identify and/or contact the copyright holder, if you claim ownership of something we’ve published, we will gladly make a proper acknowledgement. Skinnie Magazine does not share opinions and or views stated by the writers and or photographers. Some of the content published may be of a mature nature; we do not, in any way, condone underage drinking or any other illegal activity. In fact, we don’t even condone regular, legal activities. To be bluntly honest, Skinnie Magazine does not condone anything, not even breathing. All submissions become property of Skinnie Magazine, be it text, photos, art, or anything edible, as we enjoy free food. If you give us free food, and it’s good free food as opposed to some lame, crappy food, then we will be your friend. Enjoy. All Rights Reserved. © 2006

In Every Issue: 20 Hearsay/Reader Feedback 32 Action Sports Roundup 36 Trash Talkin’ with Tito Ortiz 47 CD Reviews 60 Chop Shop 64 Product Reviews 66 Movie Reviews 68 Game Reviews 70 Calendar of Events 76 Skinnie Scene 85 Club Planet 88 Horrible Scopes

This issue marks two important things: this is our first ever illustrated issue, and this is also the first time in a year that I've felt compelled to write an editor's letter. Lucky you. First off, I want to thank each of the artists who contributed: Roy Gonzalez, Dean Bradley, Joe Simko, Ben Hogan, Joey Remmers, Pinky Taylor, Luke Feldman and Jamie Seymour. Each of these guys has a distinct style and their contributions reflect the diversity in the content we publish. Go to pages 56-57 to learn more about these tremendously gifted individuals. While we're on the artist note, the gentleman who was supposed to illustrate the actual Primus spread had to pull out last minute due to God-knows-what, literally leaving us with no artwork to use on the day before print. Left with no other option, I personally stayed up all night and all morning looking at many photos of Primus so I could hand-draw and ink the spread. That's right, I hand-drew it, then later added color and texture in Photoshop.The reason I mention this is because it is strange and awkward for me to put my artwork in the same pages as these eight renowned artists. I don't think I am at their level by any means and art is not what I normally do; I write and edit. So I apologize if it isn’t up to par with the rest of the images in the mag, however with a little help from our art director Robb Sackett it just might be. Speaking of Robb, this man is an extraordinary artist in his own right.The rest of the images in this issue were originally live action photographs which he simply traced over using an etch-a-sketch and then colored using crayons, Kool-Aid and paste to make it appear illustrated. We're pretty hi-tech around here. With that out of the way, it was absolute hell completing this issue. Any conceivable technical malfunction that could occur did (in addition to the Primus artwork fiasco, my recorder malfunctioned during an interview, our phone system died, and someone shook the etch-a-sketch Robb was using), but we still pulled it out and I am thankful to have it over with. All I have to do is finish this crappy editor's letter. Maybe proof it as well. Maybe not. Maybe any occurring typos will add character. I also would like to announce that I, along with some other Skinnie staff members, am pleased to be a guest-judge at some of the stops of the Bodog Battle of the Bands this month and next. Just so you know, Bodog is putting on THE biggest battle of the bands competition ever, there is some ridiculous prize involved, I believe one million dollars or some obscene amount. Needless to say, this is a pretty big deal. I would recommend logging onto www.bodogmusic.com. The only other thing I have to say is don't forget about our Skinnie Treasure hunt! Log onto www.skinniemagazine.com for full details, you could win some fabulous stuff. Or not. If I had anything else useful to say in this editor's letter I've forgotten it already. Cheers! Hans Fink Editor-in-Chief



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By Matthew McLaughlin and Jasen T. Davis

Scottish Cops Don't Shoot A recent study in Scotland reports that Scottish police have only used their firearms 34 times in the last year. In places such as Grampian and Tayside, police haven't used their guns since 1999.Those guys need to catch up. In San Bernardino and L.A., cops shoot you at least 34 times before they slap the cuffs on you. After that, they shoot you 34 more times, so the news will have something to talk about after someone videotapes the whole thing. Starbucks has decided to double its North American stores to reach up to 40,000 stores worldwide. Hippies, wannabe intellectuals and Emo kids everywhere are said to be rejoicing.

Oil Prices Drop Because of Frightened Politicians Oil has dropped to $60 a barrel, with gasoline going from $3.00 to $2.70 a gallon and it's believed that gas prices will be $2.00 a gallon by the time elections happen in November. Critics report that gas prices are plummeting because politicians are scared of disgruntled voters, which tells me that we need to have more frikkin' elections… especially in the summer when I'm driving to the beach every weekend. Some rednecks in Kentucky are upset over the state's decision to ban 'liquor vaporizers' - a device used to turn the liquid into an alcoholic mist that can be inhaled rather than drank. These country-retards were able to figure out that 'when you inhale alcohol right into the lung tissue, that gets drawn right into the blood supply immediately, so it's a very rapid onset of the intoxicating effect'. Wow, I never knew that hillbillies could be so clever. Other great inventions from rednecks include the mullet, meth labs, and a tasty liquid that will get your sister to sleep with you - Pabst Blue Ribbon.

PETA Flips Out Over Magic Mountain The organization known as PETA (People for the Ethical Treatment of Animals) is outraged that Six Flags Magic Mountain is sponsoring a contest where people can win free tickets by eating a live Madagascar hissing cockroach. In my opinion, the contest requires too much, since surviving a theme park full of gang members should be enough of an accomplishment. Hell, getting through the parking lot without getting shot should at least get you a free spin on the Colossus.

Research now concludes that educated women with graduate degrees have more orgasms on average than those with no graduate degrees. I don't buy it. When was the last time you went and picked up on a slutty librarian? I didn't think so.

Here's the Reason Jocks are Dumb A scientific study published in the Journal of Biological Chemistry reports that too much testosterone can kill brain cells, leading to reduced intelligence and dementia.While the hormone exists in both sexes, men have twenty more times testosterone than women. By the way, if you choose to tell a muscle-bound power lifter this pertinent fact, just remember that when he rips your face off and hurls your corpse onto the surface of the moon, he was just too stupid to realize murder is illegal.

A 17 year-old kid from Boulder, CO was given a $250 ticket for 'releasing projectiles' at the mall. In actuality, the kid was only playing hackey sack. Ehh - serves the boy right. He should know that only hippies play with a hack-

~Continued on page 22~

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RANDOM SKINNIE BULLETIN POSTED LAST MONTH: What was your favorite cartoon growing up and why? You have 50 words to talk about it.The most amusing responses will be published next month.

RESPONSES: I dug Transformers. Cars that turn into giant robots… or were they giant robots that could turn into cars? Who knows? Either way, Gobots sucked it hard,Transformers ruled! Anyone who liked the Gobots is lame, they were just a cheap rip off of the Transformers. - Jeff, Ocean Beach

My favorite cartoon was no cartoon at all....FRAGGLE ROCK dude. When MUPPETS ruled the world.They were the absolute best because they were a bunch of "kids" living in a crazy world with the big guys living above. I think Fraggle Rock was a warning to not trust "The Man." HA! Seriously, I own the whole collection. LOVE IT. - Krystina, Rancho Cucamonga

I really enjoyed the Smurfs because for some compelling reason I always thought that it was pretty cool they could wear diapers and poop in their pants without anyone having to yell at them about it. It's like old people, but not as annoying. -Jose, Fontana

Growing up cartoons are the core to your life. Every

child is amazed by them and fantasizes that they are reality.Though we still have fantasies as adults, they are not as wholesome as those that I recall having about my favorite childhood cartoon Stawberry Shortcake. I don't know exactly why I loved it so much, maybe it was her floppy hat and, oh so punk rock, striped tights. Whatever it was I dreamed of being her. I wanted to live in my very own giant strawberry house and have an eclectic group of exciting friends and adventures surrounding me. Maybe the fact that I look fondly on the memories of this cartoon is because every once in a while I become her in one of my dreams, and I have an awesome adventure escaping the Peculiar Purple Pie Man of Porcupine Peak a rat-a-tat-a-tat-tat.

Whoops, we suck!!! So we made a couple of errors last month, surprise surprise. Hey man, even awesome super-studs such as oursleves can make mistakes. Especially while editing under the influence of energy drinks and Jack FM. Seriously, fuck Jack!!!

* CORR - We accidentally referred to it as California Off Road Racing.What CORR really stands for is Championship Off Road Racing. Man, do will feel stupid.Well, it’s off to watch another Ultimate Fighting Californiaship on Pay-PerView... oh crap, we did it again!

* Nilton Baptista - We are horrible, horrible people - Jayna,Victorville for this one.This man kindly provided us with pictures that we used and like the Battle of the Planetsmean, spiteful jerks we are, Cool outfits, great actioN we did not give him the and the little dude kicked ass with a yoyo.The original appropriate photo credit in not one but TWO articles. G-ForcE. The articles in question are Derrick, Banning the Kelly Slater interview and the Amp’d Boost Mobile Pro of Surf review. Totally Ghostbusters. Slimer was the best, he's the “Kingspade” of ghosts!! We were going to blame these errors on gypsies, but - Scotti, Las Vegas hey, we did it. Everything else we do is awesome. ‘Nuff said.



FOREPLAY://

ey sack. What I'm disturbed about is the ticket. What ever happened to the days when we were able to laugh at hippies while throwing a half-full Slurpee at their mangy, dirty beards? Those were the days.

Watching TV in the Car While Driving is Bad A groundbreaking scientific revelation by the National Injury Prevention Institute shows what common sense couldn't have possibly told us: that watching a DVD playing on a screen in your car will inhibit your driving ability. Worse yet, DVD players also distract drivers around you, so everyone on the freeway ends up colliding with each other, just because someone had to watch The Wedding Crashers while going 83 mph. Sweet!

This Month's Dumbass Award:

A Florida man, believing that his shrimp dinner was too 'skimpy' on the shrimp, hired a $540 dollar lawyer to defend a charge that he refused to pay for a $15.99 dinner.Yes, you read that correctly - he refused to pay $15.99 for a dinner so he proceeded to hire a $540 lawyer. Dumbass. A University of Florida fraternity, Pi Kappa Alpha (or Pike), was suspended by the university while the police investigated an unauthorized party where 3 girls allege they were drugged. Seeing as how I graduated the University of Florida and the fact that the Pike House was about 100 yards away from my fraternity house, I reminisce with a smile on my face. Those were good times. No, not the drugging girls part, but the times when I wasn't fat, broke and could actually have hot, rich, drunken girls over at my house.

Krispy Kreme is Evil The Krispy Kreme company, the same company who makes donuts so completely addictive you can eat a box of them for dinner and not care, has hired Andrew J. Schindler, ex-chief executive officer of R.J. Reynolds Tobacco Holdings to be on their board of directors. If this isn't a clear sign that those damn donuts are totally satanic nothing is.Yes, cigarettes aren't healthy and fried bread covered in lard and 3,000 mg of sugar isn't great for you, either.

Sorry kids, the beloved sailor Popeye is dead. Turns out he could whip Brutus' ass, but he couldn't survive that damn bacteria-laced spinach. See mom, I told you eating vegetables wasn't good for me. If you ask me, I thought Popeye would have been killed off by that rare strain of Syphilis he got from Olive Oil. Go figure.

You Can Now Read the Bible in Klingon As part of another sign that the world is sliding into despair, a team of Trekkies has successfully translated the Bible into Klingon, the fictional language of a fictional race of aliens in the Star Trek universe known as, well, Klingons. It's a dark, dark day, for the nerds have won a small victory. Beam me up, Scotty, there's nothing but geeks down here. - Continued on Page 24 -

CUTTING ROOM FLOOR The Original Premises of Your Favorite ‘80s Cartoons

Any mass media savvy American consumer knows that before a show can be mediocre, mundane, and ready for primetime, it must go through several changes and tweaks to the story/characters/theme before it's ready. Nowhere is this more evident than in the realm of '80s cartoons. After some investigative reporting that involved hours of research, gallons of coffee and hordes of Thai hookers, I have found early incarnations of several popular children's cartoons. He-Man and the Masters of the Frat House - The premise was simple: A bunch of muscle-bound dudes with perfect hair showing off their rad physiques, living the life of a 24/7 toga party. They would lift weights, wear tight clothes, and spend all their time together, living and working, while shouting the phrase that granted them their strength,“By the power of cheap, watered-down beer and rufies.”

Voltron “The Mediator” - As everyone knows, the Japanese business world is killer. Just ask the Yakuza. In fact it was so bad that in the 1980s the only possible solution was a metallic negotiating warrior consisting of five man-helmed lions, each with their own distinct personality, and the finest business suits known to man. They had style, grace, and poise.

The Smurfs - If the '80s were about anything, it was Reagan, Wall St., and rich white folks.To make things seem more fair on Saturday mornings, a show was designed about a group of people who all looked the same, spoke in a broken dialect that strangely made sense, all banged the same broad, and otherwise enjoyed their simple, communal life. All the while, their existence was threatened by a power hungry old white dude (“the man”), who was hellbent on erasing them from the Earth. In short, a show based on all the things of which impressionable young children can't get enough.

The Jetsons - Meet George Jetson. It's somewhere in the future as we follow the misadventures of George and his family. George holds an advanced degree in astrophysics from an Ivy League school, but is stuck working under a two-semester college dropout boss because he's stuck with a 25-year mortgage. His wife Judy is bored, botoxed, and hooked on a thrice a day cocktail of Valium, Prozac, and Xanax. His boy Elroy plays online video games 18 hours a day, and will most likely shoot up his school someday. Daughter Judy is never around, and was last seen for $9.99 a month getting kicked off the “Bang Bus.” Despite it all, George manages to get by with help from his pal, Jim Beam.

Test audiences said: The space setting, loin clothes, green tigers, and Skeletor were added to make it seem less gay.

Test audiences said: Make 'um blue and call them Smurfs instead of “American Ethnic Group Minority Stereotypes.”

Test audiences said: Make Voltron a sword wielding space fighter, as the Yakuza cut off Voltron's balls and fed them to him after a failed negotiation in the pilot episode.

Test audiences said: No one believed it was an accurate portrayal of the future. - By Bobby D. Lux



FOREPLAY://

Anime Anthropology

What Anime Tells Us About Life in Japan The government's Interior Department employees apparently spend less time on working and more time surfing the web for shopping, gambling, and porn. So - where's the problem?

Wacky Terrorist Blunders A man in Davenport, Iowa attempted to blow up a Women's Health Center, which he believed was performing abortions, by filling his car full of gasoline cans and ramming the vehicle through the front entrance. The man claimed he was doing it in the name of Jesus. No one was hurt, although the man was shocked to find out the clinic doesn't perform abortions. He was only charged with a minor felony, so just remember, if you try to blow up a building you are a terrorist but if you try to blow up an abortion clinic it's just a slap on the wrist! Michael Jackson is apparently 'ready to take over the world' with a new album that's being described as an 'edgy street record'. Yeah, Michael Jackson has about as much street cred as Barbara Walters. Now if he were claiming to 'take over Chuck E Cheese' with an 'edgy new children's album', I'd believe him.

In Nobody-Gives-A-Shit-About-You-Or-Your-Life News:

Madonna - America's genital wart - is considering adopting a baby from Malawi.

Great Frikkin' Brownies Alex Sawyer and Andrew Wilkins of North Carolina broke into a Domino's Pizza at 5:30 am and proceeded to attempt to bake a batch of brownie squares. They were discovered by police and charged with burglary and being stupid. They later admitted that they were “…a little high from smoking weed.” I vote they also be charged for delivering an obvious understatement without creative license. At least Domino's now knows that their commercials work. The X Prize Foundation is awarding 10 million dollars to anyone who can develop technology that can map 100 human genomes in 10 days. Sure, I'll get right on that. Hell, I can't even make poopies without wiping incorrectly.

Army Investigates Naked Women Because all of the terrorists have been found and captured, the U.S. Army is investigating allegations that several women in the Kentucky National Guard posed nude for photographs carrying M-16's with strategically placed Army stickers covering their naughty bits. My Lord, how despicable. I can't believe it. Say it isn't so. Show me the pictures so I can know for certain how terrible the world truly is.

'Mad Deer Disease' can be transmitted and spread through saliva. Wait - who the hell is making out with deer? Santa you f'n pervert.

MPAA Goes to the Dogs In an effort to protect their billions of dollars of profits, the Motion Picture Association of America has spent a large sum of money to train dogs to sniff pirated DVDs. Unfortunately, the two Labradors tested in an airport in Ireland cannot tell the difference between legal and illegal DVDs, which led to a healthy amount of chaos when people who had bought ~Continued on page 26~

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One can generally discern a lot about a civilization or culture by the media it produces. Japanese animation, commonly referred to here in the US as anime, has captured worldwide appeal. But what can be discerned about the society that spawned Dance Dance Revolution by viewing and analyzing anime? Skinnie's crack team of highly trained sociologists, cultural anthropologists, physicists, doctors and other specialists have compiled this list of observations for your cultural and scientific edification:

Gushing Blood: Any time someone is cut or wounded, gallons upon gallons of blood will come squirting out of the wound at least a good ten feet, like a geyser. Our scientific analysis has lead us to two conclusions: 1) Japanese people have more blood in their bodies than any other race in the world and 2) the air pressure and gravitational forces in Japan create a unique atmosphere in which the blood in the human body is stored at ridiculously high pressures. A wound will cause the already copious amount of blood to squirt out, similar to the shaken soda can effect. Child Adepts: Children always make better heroes than adults. In most anime the best martial artists, pilots, pokemon trainers or what-have-you are generally teenagers or even sometimes little kids. This leads to our theory that Japanese adults are weaker, less intelligent and generally less courageous and talented than their children.

Things Explode: After watching enough anime, one may conclude that everything in Japan, even common household items and biological organisms, is combustible. Space ships, robots, lamp posts, cats… even the city of Tokyo on a few occasions. Even people.

Cute Factor: In Japan, the best defense is to be small and cute. As evidenced in many different anime series, small and cute can overcome big, ugly and armed to the teeth in 99% of all instances.

Space Exploration:The Japanese space exploration program is truly superior to every other country's. They have even found reaches of space where you actually CAN hear large, massive explosions. This is scientifically unexplained, however the working theory is that there are none of those damn air molecules to get in the way of the sound. The Sword: In anime, the sword is always the most powerful weapon, overcoming adversaries with guns, missiles, laser cannons or anything else. This could be a good scientific explanation as to why Japan has no military power.

Gravitational Fluxuation: For some reason, gravity does not work in Japan the way it does in the rest of the world. Our top physicists theorize this is due to a quantum vortex at the exact longitude and latitude of Japan that causes gravity to behave differently, rendering it useless on things like giant robots, giant lizards, and martial artists. If you notice, no other country in the world has problems with giant robots and giant lizards. Why? Because the gravity here would crush them. Go USA! Our gravity rules! Also, martial artists can still be a threat in other parts of the world, but they cannot jump as high as they can in Japan. They also cannot freeze in the air for dramatic effect anywhere else in the world.

Immortal Tokyo: As established earlier, the city of Tokyo seems to get destroyed at the slightest provocation. Remarkably, no matter how many times Tokyo is destroyed, it seems to be one of the few, actually, the only, city in the world that can regenerate itself in less than a week after complete destruction.This may be due to superior Japanese technology but our team of scientists believes that there may be other as of yet undiscovered factors as well, such as perhaps magic or something. Physical Appearance: In anime, all characters have ridiculously huge eyes and apparently any color is a naturally occurring hair color; blue, green, pink… it doesn't matter. It’s eazy to observe that in real life all Japanese people do not have big round eyes or colored hair; therefore we know this is not based on actual life in Japan, unlike the above explanations. Our team of experts explains this phenomenon with the following analogies: much in the same way American women wish they had bigger breasts, Japanese people wish they had bigger eyes. And much in the same way the Irish love to get drunk and fight, Japanese people wish they had colored hair. ~ By Dr. Hansworth Von Finkenstein, PhD ~



FOREPLAY:// DVD's legally were grabbed by aggressive airport security. Well, it's not as if airports weren't already no fun to visit… James Blunt has been given the award for 'most popular musician to soundtrack a funeral'. This news is far from surprising as I nearly stabbed my own self in the throat after hearing his song, 'Beautiful' 7,353,866,243,357 times on the radio.

Behold, the Marijuana Patch The Food and Drug Administration, well aware of the healthy benefits of smoking marijuana because of the chemical Tetrahydrocannabinol, has approved of the study of a THC patch for people with medical conditions who need it. They are also going to approve a THC gum. Once you can walk into a 7-11 and buy a pack of marijuana Altoids, the hippies will have finally won.

In being-cruel-to-the-elderly news, a grandmother was arrested on suspicion of theft after a boy, who kicked a soccer ball in her lawn, had his dad call the police when the woman couldn't find the ball. In jail, I wonder if her cellmate will make her bake fresh chocolate chip cookies after tossing salads. Hmmm. Turns out next year's season of 'Prison Break' will be that much more interesting.

Young Americans are Fat According to a study published in the Archives of Pediatric and Adolescent Medicine, a third of teenagers tested are horribly out of shape. “This represents a significant public health problem because low physical fitness during adolescence tends to track into adulthood, and low-fit adults are at substantially increased risk for chronic disease, morbidity and mortality,” the study concluded. Well, we outlawed skating and gave kids XBoxes, PC video games, the Internet, MySpace and a Jack in the Box on every corner… what did we expect?

From Nydailynews.com: 'A Brooklyn teacher inappropriately had two of her young students kiss in class - fostering a relationship that unwittingly helped solved a murder'. Huh? What? Oh wait, the report states this happened in Brooklyn. Yeah, sounds about right to me.

No New News: Terrorists Don't Like the Pope The International Islamic Front, a terrorist group that operates out of Pakistan and is connected to Osama bin Laden, has issued a Fatwa calling on the death of Pope Benedict XVI for his comments on Islam. Although Catholics have a right to be upset, I think it's a little redundant… don't the terrorists want to kill everyone that isn't an extreme right wing Muslim, anyways?

I Still Hate North Korea With winter coming, their fields bare and their people starving, the government of North Korea has announced they will begin testing nukes but are open to the possibility of disarmament in exchange for financial aid.That damn country makes me laugh so much it's replacing Chris Rock as my favorite stand-up comic. Hopefully, once they blow themselves up in their very own version of Chernobyl, we can un-irradiate the place and sell it all to Disneyland. Maybe Japan will finally solve the problem by unleashing Godzilla and Voltron on North Korea. We can only hope. THE END. 26 SKINNIE MAGAZINE

LOSS OF INNOCENCE How the Muppet Babies Ruined an Entire Generation From 1984 to 1991, Jim Henson and pals brought us the Muppet Babies. Now, some could make a striking parallel between the Babies and Osama B-Lad and his cre, but I believe the Babies had a much more damaging effect on the youth of America. Because of Kermit and his gang of misfits, the youth of yesteryear, now adults, have turned into a corrupt society with questionable ethics. See for yourself…

Kermit - Talk about a sissy-boy. Everyone knows that Miss Piggy pulled the strings of this passive frog and because of this men, today are a bunch of effeminate ass-kissers who allow women to walk all over them. Kermit's low self-esteem led the way to a Nation of men who would rather get a makeover from the 'Queer Eye' guys than play a game of football.

Miss Piggy - Miss Piggy was selfish, arrogant and morally loose. She made it 'cool' for girls to bitch and cry until they got what they wanted. Her overweight frame was no doubt a byproduct of deep-fried Snickers and double-stuffed Twinkies. Seeing how disgusting this was, girls began starving themselves to the point of Nicole Richie-like figures.Teenage girls would never be the same. Rowlf - Where do I even begin with this degenerate? Baby or not, being the only one in the crew to wear diapers just screams pervert. This sicko is no different from a 45 year-old man with his own diaper fetish that you find in Yahoo Chat Rooms. Dateline NBC needs to catch this Predator.

Gonzo - Forget political correctness, this guy was a downright nutjob. Crazy as the sky is blue, Gonzo loved blowing stuff up and dating chickens. Explosives and Bestiality - what a great thing to teach kids. Scooter & Skeeter - These two, despite being brother and sister, were a little too fond of each other. Scooter seemed to always have that rapist-look in his eye when staring at his one-pair-of-Birkenstock-sandals-away-from-being-a-Lesbian sister Skeeter. Like Piggy, she too seemed to be of morally questionable standards. If MySpace were around back then, Skeeter would be that mostly-naked underage girl with a 'Not Sure' answer next to her sexual orientation status. And some of you wonder why incest and teenage pregnancy is a problem. For shame! Fozzie - Although the most normal of the group, Fozzie was about as funny as childhood depression or mental retardation.Wait, retards are funny, Fozzie was not. Either way, he annoyed people and annoyance leads to anger - anger leads to murder.

Animal - Let us look at the facts:Animal was illiterate, could not speak, was loud, violent and was most assuredly high on some mind-altering drug. My guess, crack cocaine. Regardless of this, the group always accepted him. In the old days, he would be an outcast destined for jail or living in a dumpster. He would never fit in but nowadays, we must accept him for who he is and help him overcome his issues. Fuck Dr. Phil, if I had it my way, I would skin him alive and make a nice Christmas sweater out of him - he looks comfortable and his fur soooo matches my skin tone.

Now you can see the devastating effect the Muppet Babies had on our country. I wish it would have ended there but it only started a trend. From Barney's child molestation charges, to Tinky-Winky the gay Teletubby, friendly 'kid' programming is at the core of destroying our way of life. If you don't believe me, go buy a new Tickle-Me-Elmo TMX (or 'Tickle-Me-Extreme') doll. Look closely and watch in horror as, before he begins to laugh, he lifts his right hand, points it to the sky, and through body language yells: “Heil Hitler!” Check it out for yourself - Hitler would have been so proud.

~ By Matthew McLaughlin ~



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If ever there were the biggest rockstar of skateboarding it would without a doubt be Christian Hosoi. If there were a story of the highest highs to the lowest lows and back to the highest highs again, it would be none other than‌ the same guy. The Legend of Christian Hosoi is one that will forever live in skateboarding's modern day folklore. At a time when skateboarding reached it's big peak in the mid '80s, Hosoi was the man, pulling the biggest tricks and running around with the biggest stars in Hollywood. The girls would throw their panties and the sponsors would throw their money faster than he could


catch it.Tony Hawk who? Actually,Tony and Christian were way ahead of everyone doing the biggest airs and inventing the newest tricks. You could say Christian was on the top of the world but little did he know that in a matter of a few years he would lose it all and be left to face the heaviest circumstances of his life. While Tony Hawk went on to make Playstation Games, Christian got busted with enough meth to wake the dead as he was arriving in Honolulu airport. Needless to say, Christian went to prison. After doing five years of his ten year sentence he was released due to the efforts of his wife, close friends and maybe somebody else. If you are just now learning about this man and his amazing story, be sure to get a copy of his Documentary being released on DVD this month. It is called Rising Son. When I saw it, it really made me appreciate life, as Christian now does more than ever before.

How was the tour? Hosoi: It was great.The highlight was seeing my mom and Sergie Ventura in Virginia. I'm glad to be back. My wife's about to pop with our 2nd son, How do you like being a Daddy? Hosoi: It's so awesome being a father. My older boy, Rhythm is really into Snowboarding. He's also into Moto. He'll get on a skateboard too, but right now his passion is the snow and dirt. It's actually pretty cool because that means I get to do all that stuff too.

Growing up, who were your influences? Hosoi: Shogo Kubo, Jay Adams, Polar Bear RIP (died recently), George Wilson, Pat Nogoho and Ray “Bones” Rodrigez.

Any young up-and-coming skaters you are impressed with? Hosoi: Little Patrick Ryan is only 8. You should see this kid! He’s already got style, he’s got a great attitude on top of it and he goes big.

ers.Their big brothers now are probably MTV, Jack Ass, and South Park. They need options. There really aren't enough good choices for them.They should know you can be into God and still be cool.

What has changed in skateboarding most from then to know? Hosoi: How big it's gotten. Kids have it sooo good now. I remember I had to pay to skate crappy parks and ramps sometimes and there were only a few of them.These days there are killer parks and pools all over the place, and most of 'em are free. I think it's awesome. Skateboarding has really become a lifestyle. So long as the heart and soul of skateboarding lie in the of real skateboarders - Christian Hosoi hands and those who truly respect it, it will continue to roll in How do you plan to be involved in the right direction. the future of skateboarding, as a skateboarder or as a business man? I hear your level of skating is still Hosoi: First and foremost, I am a skate- insane. Is there anything new for boarder. I just plan to add to that being a busi- you there? nessman. Keeping the integrity of the sport Hosoi: What?? That is crazy. I'm stoked and and not letting it be exploited by sponsors honored to hear that though. I have been trywho won't reinvest and have interest in pre- ing to get back into shape and hit up that serving the soul of skateboarding.The fun has Mega Ramp. I can't wait to do that thing. If I to be preserved. To me this isn't a job, this is don't attempt it I'll feel like a huge wuss. At my life. I'm still very much into core skate- least if I die I'll be going to heaven early!!! boarding. (laughs)

“So long as the heart and soul of skateboarding lie in the hands of those who truly respect it, it will continue to roll in the right direction.”

How did you start Skateboarding? Hosoi: My Dad, Ivan "Pops" Hosoi became the manager of the Marina Del Ray Skatepark. I quit school and spent time there where I skated every day. If you could've you would've too.

What would you say about your movie? Hosoi: It's the story of someone's life with highs and lows.There's a message in the story. A message of hope. It's like, if you think it's too late for you, check this out. No one is that bad. If I can turn around, anyone can. What other activities are you into? Hosoi: Lately just traveling and speaking my story. I like telling my story so others might not have to learn the hard way, like I did.

What was it like on the inside? Hosoi: It would have been rough. I was facing 10 years in prison, and that I just knew I couldn't do. Up to that point I had lead one of the freest lives of anyone I knew. I thought, “how in the hell am I gonna do this”? Thank God for my wife.The first day I was in she told me to get a bible.That day my life changed, my burden was lifted. I then spent the next five years in prison where half the people rode my skateboards and were stoked to see me. In a weird way it was the best thing that could have happened to me. I am blessed that my good friends and my wife pulled together to get me out.

Did you see people you knew in there? Hosoi: You know, funny enough I don't remember seeing anyone I knew in prison.

How's the body holding up? Hosoi: Knee isn't quite 100 percent. I hurt it when I got out. I've been working it out, trying to get back to 100% Right now I'm at about 60%.

I heard that HOSOI Skateboards is on the verge. What is the future? Hosoi: We're really just getting started. Boards are just now coming in and I'm Psyched. We stand for the message of hope. Some of our riders are Richard Molder, Daniel Cardoni, Sergie Ventura. Check it out at hosoiskates.com.

Do you consider yourself a poster child for an anti-meth drug campaign? Hosoi: Of course. I beat it and walked away from it.

Do you ever crave your old lifestyle? Hosoi: Never. And that in itself is amazing. How does someone like me who is used to getting everything he wants and never being satisfied suddenly become satisfied? You know why. What advice do you have for a 14 year old kid, doing drugs and hanging out with the wrong crew? Hosoi: They need to be warned and shown examples of what happens when you get sucked in. Not to judge them or condemn them, but to lead them. They need big broth-

- By Kevin Ashford, art by Dean Bradley

At a Glance Vehicle: Ford Explorer Pets: Gecko Best Skill (outside of skateboarding): Pool/Billiards Worst skill: Basketball. I'm 5'6” Instruments: Blues guitar. I’m learning a little slide as well, haven’t quite mastered it yet. Favorite Band: Call to Glory Skater: Danny Way Restaurant: Sushi-Matsu's Huntington Beach Skate Video: Livin' it LA Pool: Bible Bowl, Santa Ana Least Favorite Sport: Curling (so dumb) Habit: Eat too much food Music: Opera Airline: ConAir (for real) Food: Fast Food

SKINNIE MAGAZINE 29


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“I'd rather not talk about bikes. We're here to race trucks this weekend,” said Mike Metzger, somewhat defensively, making his current mental commitment quite clear. The Godfather lay sprawled out on the couch in his Monster Energy Factory Freestyle trailer, his mannerisms divulging no hint of either apprehension or enthusiasm in regard to the coming weekend. In only a few days, Metzger would make his debut in the roll-cage of a Championship Off Road Racing(CORR) PRO-LITE truck at the sport's premiere short track in Chula Vista, California, for rounds 13 and 14 of the Lucas Oil series. His transition comes amidst swirling industry rumors of animosity among fellow FMX riders and when asked if he'll still compete on two wheels, his response is vague:“I still ride bikes.” While his future in freestyle might be unintelligible at best, he certainly isn't ready for a desk job. “Wearing a helmet is like carrying a briefcase for me,” he said matter-of-factly.“I'm looking forward to getting into my truck and seeing exactly how fast we can get that thing going and just learning the basics of truck racing, getting through the first turn, hopefully making it to the checkered flag.” In spite of being somewhat of a monolith in his own sport, Metzger's demeanor only days before his first race lacked any sense of sonorous aspirations. ~ By Donald C. Stefanovich, art by Ben Hogan ~


You're starting with a PRO-LITE truck. Is that the class you plan to stay in or do you plan to work your way up from there? MM: Hopefully everything goes good with truck racing. I'd like to make a long term career out of it and hopefully move up through the classes. I think the PRO-LITE was a good place to start to learn what I'm doing and the equipment isn't as expensive as it is in PRO-2 or PRO-4. Earlier, Scott Rehn referred to your transition stating there would be “no more broken bones” for you. MM: (Laughing) I doubt it. It's racing. If you crash a truck you're going to get bruised up. As a career, you're looking at CORR as your future? MM: I'm just looking to keep a helmet on and do something else that's fun.

What got you into CORR? MM: I guess the right timing. Everything falls into place. Earlier in the year, right after I did the Ceasar's jump I had a chance to step into a PRO-2 and go racing but I turned it down 'cause I had other commitments as far as going and doing a freestyle event. I really didn't want to do anything stupid like get into a race truck and never have practiced. It just wasn't in my best interest to step into a highdollar PRO-2 with never having any experience at all racing.

MM: Compared to the other two tracks that I've seen on the CORR series, which one is Bark River, Michigan and the other is Crandon, Wisconsin, this one seems to be a lot more wide open. Not as many slow turns. It's all going to be a learning experience from this race weekend on. I'm hoping everything goes good these next four rounds of racing, that I can make all four rounds and basically start putting my proposal together for sponsors for next year and put together a good program where I either stay in PROLITE for a full season or, who knows, if I can put together a good enough race budget I'll just go get a PRO-2 or PRO-4. Slowly but surely as hell I want to do it and keep it a learning process moving forward. I don't want anyone to expect to go out there and get so loose that I end up blowing my truck or trashing it totally. I want to make something long-term out of CORR racing so I'm just going to take baby steps.

A lot of your sponsors have been with you a long time. Are they being supportive of your move? MM: All my sponsors are pretty excited about me stepping into truck racing because they'd rather see me have a helmet on than have another kind of job. I'm not that type of business man. My business comes when I'm either behind the wheel of my truck or behind my handlebars r e g etz wearing a - M ik e M helmet.and That's what I'm used to and I don't ever want to think any different.

“Wearing is like carrying a helmet case for me.” a brief

You've never been behind the wheel of a PRO-2? MM: Yeah, PRO-2 I actually got to drive maybe six weeks ago after the Bark River Race in Michigan the promoter came up to me and asked me if I was interested in racing and if I wanted to drive one of his PRO-2s, so I ended up driving up to Wisconsin for a practice day and got to do a bunch of laps in a PRO-2. He got me hooked.

Given the obvious differences in horsepower and size, when you're actually driving a PRO-LITE versus a PRO-2, how different is it? MM: There's a big difference as far as the horsepower, as far as the handling. I didn't get many laps in a PRO-2. I just purchased my PRO-LITE three weeks ago so the time that I've had it, I feel pretty comfortable compared to hearing how other rookies have gotten into it this year. A couple other guys basically got offered to drive trucks and just showed up and started racing. I've gotten to practice up at Lake Elsinore Motocross track. I get to practice out behind my ranch in Menifee so I have a couple hours in my truck already where I'm feeling like I just can't wait to get unleashed on this track and really figure out what my truck can do. I've barely gotten my truck into third gear where I've been practicing. On this track I'll be in fourth and third gear a lot, going close to ninety miles per hour. What do you know about this track? Is it pretty wide-open for a short course?

How long do you think it will take you to figure out how to do a backflip in one of these things? MM: (Laughing) Hopefully not too quick. I'm sure I'll be doing front-flips, back-flips, siderolls (unintentionally)… it's just a matter of trying to stay on all four wheels.

The Godfather at a Glance - Metzger's daily drive is a Dodge Turbo Diesel Duelly

- Tattoos cover most of Metzger's body, including one of the word "Pain" on the inside of his mouth.

- Metzger appeared in the 2002 FMX video game Freekstyle. A CORR/Rally Car video game featuring real tracks, including Chula Vista, is in the works. - Metzger has had 8 teeth "capped and iced" (covered in 24-karat platinum).

- Mike Metzger signature pajamas are available which replicate his riding gear and feature fleshtone sleeves with exact replications of The Godfather's tattoos.


SCORE CARD By Bobby D. Lux

In catching mad air while screeching “Angel of DEEEEAAAAAAATH!!!!” at the top of your lungs news Plan B skateboards has announced that metal gods Slayer are teaming up with skater extraordinaire Danny Way to design exclusive skateboards for Plan B.The decks will be Way's Plan B Pro model with artwork from various Slayer albums.There been no verification of the rumor (which I'm about to start) that Slayer will now stand for: Skaters Laugh While You Eternally Rot.

In “Friends of Tony Hawk” news There was a time when Tom Green was the only thing worth watching on MTV. I like to refer to those months as the proverbial Salad Days. Bonus Question: Name the DC hardcore band that ends their “Complete Discography” with the song “Salad Days.” Answer Below. Sadly, things haven't fared too well for Green since then. His movie didn't do too well, he got divorced, and now Green (a decent skateboarder in his own right) went and broke his leg trying to do a stupid simple ollie.Typically, this is the part where I wax sarcastic about how Green should have broke his *insert body part* here… but I won't because I think Tom Green is actually pretty cool. Besides, it's embarrassing enough to get so hurt doing such an easy move. There's no need to point and laugh.

In “More friends of Tony Hawk” news There was a time when Jackass was the only thing worth watching on MTV. I like to refer to those… oh wait, sorry.The lovable cast of knuckleheads, and rich kid Bam Margera, along with some cameos from action sport athletes like Mat Hoffman,Tony Hawk, and Mark Zupan (Murderball, bitches) stormed the nation, opening as the number 1 movie in the country. Now look, Citizen Kane it isn't. Potempkin it isn't. La Règle du jeu, it isn't. But Jackass 2 has that certain intangible that none of the others mentioned do, and that, ladies and gentlemen, is horse cum drinking.

Seriously, why do people watch this shit?! In a sporting achievement that brought the nation to halt with a yawn,Tiger Woods recently won his 6th straight… OK, OK, just wanted to make sure you were still reading this, and weren't distracted by the all the pretty, colorful pictures in the mag.

McGRATH INVITATIONAL REVIEW

When Jeremy McGrath first set out to put on an event like this, he went about it in a way that no one had imagined possible with an MX bike, as one look at the track made this painfully obvious. There was a hidden start, huge ramp jumps, and more flashy colored lights than any other Supercross previously seen. Replacing the triples were two huge freestyle ramps on each side of the track that riders launched themselves over each lap. The layout of the track was reminiscent of the early ‘90s style Supercross with a wide desig, and a huge variation of lines for riders to take. Overall, most of the riders felt that the track was a nice change and a lot of fun. So many of the riders enjoyed throwing their bikes sideways off the ramps and needless to say, it was jaw dropping to watch Kevin Windham, Josh Grant and Team Red Bull KTM rider Josh Hansen get completely flat over the jumps. In addition to the unorthodox track design, the event itself was run differently; For starters, each night's action was kicked off by all of the riders doing a few timed hot-laps, which seeded them into the head-to-head match races later on in the program. From there, riders then competed in a short qualifying race for gate picks in the final 16-lap main event at the end of the night.The best racing of the event was from the head-to-head battles.The excitement kicked in after a few rounds of battles. It all started when Privateer Eric Sorby and Team Red Bull KTM's Josh Hansen matched up. The two played cat and mouse into the first turn, and continued to stay very close. Then put on a block-passing session as they traded plastic in seemingly every corner of the track. At the end, although Hansen put in a valiant effort aboard his 250f, Sorby came away with the win. Another strong battle was between Team Sobe/Samsung Mobile/Honda's Josh Grant and Team MDK's David Vuillemin. In the first turn,Vuillemin block passed Grant and held the lead for the entire race as Grant hounded him. In the last turn, of the final lap, however, Grant ran it in on Vuillemin and took the win. I almost forgot about the Freestyle which was a freight train of insane antics that overwhelmed the senses. Needless to say, it was an interesting few days of racing action that was both different and refreshing at the same time.When it was all said and done, the Inaugural Jeremy McGrath Invitational definitely showed some promise and did a good job of creating a unique racing experience for both the riders and fans. Look for the Jeremy McGrath Invitational again next year!!!! ~ By Sean Cooke, images courtesy of Jared Milgrim ~



SCORE CARD Etnies 3rd Annual GVR - Goofy vs. Regular

[ continued ]

Here we go again

Ok, remember all that nonsense and hoopla about El Nino a few years back? Get ready, because here he comes again. And this time, he's pissed! Basically, a whole bunch of recent scientific stats confirm this, so you better get prepared for how that's going to affect your surfing schedule for the rest of the year and into 2007. In a nutshell… a bunch of stuff happens to the water temperature, climate, air currents, etc. that are all going to affect the general surfing conditions for the next year or so. Hey, what do you want, details from me? What do I look like, fucking wikipedia, over here?

Ortiz punishes Shamrock for the final time, draws record ratings The final chapter of the Tito Ortiz vs. Ken Shamrock feud pretty much ended the same as their second meeting, albeit a few seconds longer. After Tito quickly dispatched his former rival, Shamrock announced retirement and buried the hatchet with Ortiz, embracing him and ending their feud.The fight drew over 4 million viewers, and outperformed anything else on TV that night in terms of male viewers age 18-34 including the Major League Baseball playoffs on Fox.The reason why we care is because the Skinnie logo was prominently featured on Tito Ortiz' fighting trunks as he pounded his rival into the mat. Why? Because we are cool.Yes, that's right, being on Tito's ass makes us cool. Nyah nyah nyah nyah!!!

Bonus Question: Minor Threat, you morons. Well, you're not a moron if you knew that. Now, finish looking at all the pretty pictures in Skinnie magazine, then put down said magazine, crank some old Minor Threat on a boom box (no, your Ipod doesn't count), piss off some cops, and go skate on that awesome piece of private property that just begs to be grinded on! (DISCLAIMER: Just be sure to do all of that legally and safely)

What a scene it was pulling up to the Etnies skate park in Lake Forest. Skateboarders of all ages running amuck in anticipation of one of the biggest contests of the year and with the most unique format. For the unitiatated, regular are skaters who use regular stance and goofy are skaters who use an abnormal stance. Pretty self-expalanator y. The battle lines have never been drawn so cleverly as shir ts were worn by opposing teams like, “Regular foots Suck”. A plethora of companies dawned their tents, including Lost Energy Drinks handing out products and hyping up the kids to KROQ throwing out CDs and Quiksilver's highest olley contest. As if this wasn't enough to stoke ever yone out, the Beastie Boys were flown in to play a private show for ever yone. In the end, the Goofy Team won, lead by Jereme Rogers and Nyjah Houston. Houston was pretty much the MVP for the Goofy Team. Other top contenders on team Goofy included Rodolfo Ramos, Greg Lutzka and Ronnie Creager. Although the Regular Team lost, Ryan Sheckler pulled out an amazing performance and was easily the MVP for the Regular Team. Other noteable performances from the Regular Team include Chris Cole, Andrew Reynolds and Alex Mizurov. In the Pro Bowl contest, Omar Hassan took top honors followed by Rune Glifberg and Brian Patch, and in the Grand Masters competition Steve Caballero earned first place, followed by Lawce Mountain and Lester Kasai. Needless to say, this was one of the biggest competitions this year and it's definitely one you won't want to miss next year! For more information go to etnies.com. ~ By Kevin Ashford, images courtesy of Joanna Tichauer ~

UFC 64: Unstoppable

10,000 fans packed the Events Center at Mandalay Bay with hopes of watching UFC middleweight king, Rich Franklin, defeat that lanky Brazilian guy who doesn't even speak English (and who beat fan favorite Chris Leben this past June). The other 773 people came to see world-class fighter, Anderson Silva, give Franklin his toughest fight to date. Ever yone in attendance saw Silva become the new UFC Middleweight Champion by defeating Franklin via TKO in three minutes of rd. 1. Silva rearranged Franklin's face with a barrage of knees from a Thai clinch in one of the most brutal, one-sided title fights in UFC histor y. Franklin didn't show the same confidence he normally does as he entered the ring, and was ver y tentative in the few punches and leg kicks he threw before getting caught by Silva. In the co-main event of the evening, for the second time in his career, Sean Sherk went five rounds to decision in a UFC title fight. Unlike his first shot against Matt Hughes at UFC 42, this time Sherk was successful, by dominating Kenny Florian en route to becoming the newly crowned UFC Lightweight Champion; the first in four years since Jens Pulver relinquished the title. Florian showed a lot of hear t and managed to open a huge gash on Sherk's head that pumped red juice non-stop for twenty minutes with one of his razor sharp elbow but couldn't find any answer for Sherk's strength and ground control. French heavyweight, Cheick Kongo, showed that he could neither defend a takedown, nor that he was anywhere close to being a heavyweight contender as he lost a split decision to Carmelo Marrero. Up and coming welterweight Jon Fitch won his four th straight in the octagon, defeating Kuniyoshi Hironaka via decision, fur ther establishing himself among the elite of the division. ~ By Bobby D. Lux, images courtesy of Josh Hedges ~



SCORE CARD

So the movie career is moving right along. I recently por trayed a marine in a controversial Turkish film called Valley of the Wolves: Iraq. Other American actors in the movie such as Gar y Busey and Billy Zane received critical backlash because of their por trayal of corrupt US militar y officers. It's kind of ridiculous, since it's just a movie. I per sonally haven't received any grief for it. I basically play a good marine who questions their abuse of the prisoners and is shot for it. To me, it's only a movie, and a great learning experience. The other movie I am wor king on, Outlander, I will resume work on it two months from now. Right now, however, I have one thing on my mind: Getting my world title back. I will be fighting Chuck Liddell this December. This will be a different fight this time around. Last time I feel like I was pushed into something I didn't want to do because at the time, I had emotional and financial issues in my life so I was not 100% focused. Dana White pitched the fight like I was afraid of Chuck. I'm not afraid of Chuck, he's a man and bleeds like anyone else. Quinton Jackson and Randy Couture proved that he CAN be beaten. This time it's purely business and I am focused 100%, I am ready physically, mentally, emotionally, financially. I also have a lot more pent up aggression. I will be training with Quinton Jackson and a couple other guys. I'm bringing in some top boxers and kickboxers to help me with my stand up game and I also may go train with the American Olympic Wrestling team to improve my wrestling. When I have my world title back it is going to feel just like the first time I won the belt. It's going to be THE fight of the year so don't miss it! Also, I would like to those who suppor t my clothing company, Punishment Athletics. This year the sales have been great! Last year I wasn't seeing much but this year it's huge and it's due to the growth of the spor t of MMA thanks in large par t to UFC, Spike TV, and of course the fans. Tito Ortiz is a 5x former UFC Light Heavyweight Champion and has appeared in numerous films and as a coach in Season 3 of the reality show The Ultimate Figher. He owns and operates his own apparel company, Punishment Athletics.

Need for Speed: Formula Drift

The final round of Need For Speed: Formula Drift would see incredible drifting action cour tesy of competitors form both the USA and Japan. Ironically, although Drifting originated and gained popularity in Japan, the top four over all drivers were American. Samuel Hubinette, the “Crazy Swede” from Newpor t Beach, dominated the first, third and sixth rounds, which allowed him to maintain an overall victor y with a total combined score of 629, even with less than stellar performances in the four th and fifth rounds. Rhys Millen of Huntington Beach placed second with a cumalitve score of 596 points, aided by an incredible performance that allowed him to dominate the four th round in terms of points. Out of Colorado, Tanner Foust had probably the nicest drift of anyone in the second round of competition that allowed him enough leeway reach third on a cumulative score of 541 even after questionable standings in round one and rounds three through five. Vaughn Gittin, Jr. would hold four th with a cumulative score of 463 and finally, Daijiro Yoshinara from Japan made it into the top five with a score of 441. All in all, it’s easy to see all 29 competitors came to win and a lot of incredible skill was displayed in terms of control, style and finesse. Stay tuned for more incredible events from Formula Drift. ~ BY Chris Hansen, images courtesy of KCW Photo ~

King of the Cage: Booyaa! King of the Cage has, over the years, proven to be one of the most successful and prolific fight organizations in the world. They are the only existing promotion that can hold multiple events all in the same month in several different states, and have each one be a success. That being said, King of the Cage: Booyaa over took Soboba Casino In San Jacincto, CA with a highly enter taining fight card. Former bantamweight champ Charlie Valencia had returned from a two year layoff only to be defeated by current champ, Urijah Faber. For Booyaa, Valencia would face Shawn Bias. However Bias had to pull out and Valencia faced his last minute replacement, Cub Swanson. At first it appeared Valencia was controlling Swanson with his superior wrestling. However, the minute Valencia bloodied Swanson’s nose, the younger Swanson turned the tide and used his superior Muay Thai skills to pick a surprised Valencia to pieces. In other exciting bouts, Omar Luv showed why he is a force to be reckoned with, knocking down a game Casius Arelius with a flying knee, followed by a left hook and some brutal ground and pound. In an amusing “Parole Officer vs. Convict” fight, ex-con Alber t Hill rushed in on Parole Officer Ernie Pereia. After a brief back and for th, Pereia was able to put the con away by sinking in a tight guillotine choke early in the first round. Muay Thai champion WIlliam “The Bull” Syrapai destroyed Kenny Tenorio with a TKO, reminding the world of why his hands and shins will always be a threat. Naturally there was a slew of other great fights witnessed throughout the night. For the next KOTC event in your area, go to www.kingofthecage.com to find out. ~ By Chris Hansen, images courtesy of Tiffany Harned ~





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“Someone once said to me that Primus just exploded on to the scene,” Les Claypool laughs wryly. “I was like, ‘what the hell are you talking about?’ If anything we were like the slow boat to China!” In spite of the fact that the unusual trio known as Primus has maintained a position of success and notoriety for nearly fifteen years, few realize that the band paid its dues for a solid seven years before even releasing a CD, playing back-to-back gigs across Northern California for next to nothing. At present they enjoy “legend” status, an unexpected turn events that to this day Les still doesn’t understand; “We weren’t supposed to be famous or on MTV or even have a hit single,” the eccentric virtuoso proclaims. He doesn’t seem to mind, though. Along with drummer Tim “Herb” Alexander and guitarist Larry “Ler” LaLonde, Les is knocking the dust off of Primus and taking it back out on the road this winter to highly anticipated tour stops nationwide, hot on the heels of the release of a new DVD and anthology CD. ~ By Hans Fink, Artwork by Hans Fink and Robb Sackett ~


cover a package of single, processed cheese slices.

On the DVD’s bonus features there is a mocumentary set in “the future”, where Les is the only surviving member of the band and is portrayed as an old man in an insane asylum. What inspired this? Les: Vitamins, I was the guy who took my Vitamins. I was watching this John Belushi skit on SNL. It was black and white and it showed him old and walking along the gravesites of his old friends who passed away. I guess that struck something with me.

So you guys will be touring in support of the anthology CD and the new DVD. Now that you are older and wiser, is touring still as exciting as it was or has it lost some of its luster? Les: It depends, it’s kind of taken with a different perspective. When we were younger and drinking and chasing around the women, it had a different appeal. Now we’re three guys with families, out with our comrades, traveling the country and being nostalgic, it has a different feel to it. Although since we don’t tour as much as we used to, were excited every time we do go out.

Should we expect more books from you in the future? Les: I have all kinds of unfinished pieces around the house that will eventually get done so you might see another book or two out of me yet. Let’s also talk about your film Electric Apricot. Les: It’s basically a mockumentary about this fictitious aging jam band from Northern California who catch a couple of big breaks while be being filmed by a film school graduate filming a documentary for his school. So it turned out pretty cool even though it was a huge pain in the ass. We’ve been in three film festivals and have won three awards including best film.

It seems the release of the “best of” anthology and the DVD, as well as the kickoff of the tour, are preludes or a build up to a bigger thing. Will that bigger thing be a new Primus album in 2007? Les: Not for sure. We don’t write together much since we all live in different parts of the country, so if any writing gets done it will be while we’re on the road. We’ll see what happens. We’ve been having some good sessions and making some neat sounds. We’ll see what happens on the tour.

Is it at times confusing being a part of so many different bands/projects? What are some of the advantages and disadvantages that result from such a widespread and prolific involvement? Les: People tend to like you to specialize in one thing, so that’s a disadvantage. However I enjoy expressing myself creatively through multiple outlets; writing, film… and my final goal of owning a hot dog stand. In doing many things it’s important not to lose your identity. Although I am aware of that it doesn’t necessarily mean I focus on that. I focus on what makes me happy and doing what makes me happy. It’s all leading to somewhere. I guess it’s all leading to the hot dog stand.

Your songs take on a storytelling quality, so I imagine the transition from writing songs that told stories to a book that told a story was a natural one. Have you always been a storyteller in some fashion or another? Les: I come from a long line of storytellers actually. I was never the guy who could run the fastest, or throw the ball - actually I could throw the

Speaking of Adrian Belew, I heard you were jamming with him and Danny Carey from Tool. What is going on with that whole thing? Les: We got together a couple times

Let’s change gears and talk about some of your other media. Tell us about your book South of the Pumphouse. Les: The book actually started as a 60 page screenplay that I wrote ten years ago. As it started to grow from there, I decided to turn it into novel form.The book happens to be selling surprisingly well. It just got released in July and we’re already into our fifth printing.

What triggered the release of the Anthology and the DVD? Les: Ahggem, let me clear the old throat. Basically, Interscope decided they were going to put out this definitive Primus CD whether we liked it or not. At first we thought that was kind of Cheesy. So we then decided that if we could pick the songs and have creative control of the packaging, we’d get behind it and do a tour and talk to people like you and so forth. We still thought it was cheesy to release a bunch of singles so we decided to make the album

baseball, I just couldn’t hit the damn thing - but I was the guy telling jokes and stories. I was the class clown so to speak. I don’t profess to be this great writer or bass player; I’m the guy who should have been an auto mechanic who just has a knack for telling a story. One of my first albums I bought as a kid was Amos Moses because I liked the story and that’s what I do.

In terms of your vast and expansive musical career, what would you consider your most notable of achievements? Les: For me the career payoff has been all the great people and artists I’ve been able to collaborate with. Some of these people were heroes of mine since I was a kid. I’ve been on countless albums with Tom Waits, and he’s been on mine. Stuart Copeland, who is now a good friend of mine. Bernie Worrell, Adrian Belew… I’m surrounded by all these talented people… to me that is the meat and potatoes of my career. That’s what I look back on and smile.


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to do some recordings for Adrian’s record. Actually, I think he used the recordings on a few different albums.

Call me a music nerd with too much time on his hands, but I have often wondered what it would be like if you were to collaborate with Mike Patton since you’re both highly creative and unorthodox. Les: There was talk of us doing a show with Mike later in the year but I’m not sure what’s happening. Mike is an interesting guy and I have the utmost respect for him. He came up with his music and sort of got pushed into the whole pop world and he’s this nice looking guy with this nice voice and so Faith No More was getting pushed to the forefront of the pop culture thing and next thing you know, Mike is in all these teeny bopper magazines and such, and he did whatever he could to turn that around. He became the anti-American Idol. I think it’s a very rare thing when people are in a comfort zone to still take chances, to rattle the cage and not take the safe route. Kind of like Kurt Cobain did at the height of Nirvana’s success… Guys like that don’t come around very often. Someone who will snub their nose at the “supposed” American dream. That is a wonderful thing. That is the reason why I look up to guys like you and Mike Patton, because you guys aren’t trying to impress anybody, you just do what you see fit to do. It’s inspiring when an artist holds true to his creative ideals and ends up being successful with it. Les: Well thank you very much, I appreciate that but it also is the harder road. In the creative world it is much harder to do something original and unique and have it pay off. It is much easier to jump on the bandwagon and do something more compromised because that is

what is in demand. Primus was never supposed to be on MTV or on the radio. After we got it we were hoping we’d get more though… It was like hey, you guys let the monkeys into the cafeteria, you knew they were gonna’ throw food on the wall. I think it’s a great thing when it happens because it rattles cages and opens new doors.

Any advice for aspiring musicians who want to succeed while persevering and holding true to their creative vision? Les: To sum up what you just said in 1 word, perseverance. Primus started in 1984. We didn’t put our first record out until 1989. There were years and years of playing in places the size of my kitchen I‘m standing in, in front of 14 people.You just got to play and play and play... It also matters how you interpret success. If you want the big house and nice cars and limos, hopefully you have the charisma to last and do whatever is the hip thing to do. If you want to stay unique, you have to persevere. If there’s one thing I’ve learned, there are no short cuts.

Please explain the band’s apparent infatuation with food items such as fish and cheese. Les: The fish is not so much a food as a creature. I’ve often been asked, “What’s with the food and the pork and the fish?” I guess food references became hilarious to me. Pork Soda? That’s just funny to me. I find humor in it, I don’t know why. What is the worst goddamn interview question you’ve ever been asked, and have I asked it yet?

Les: You didn’t. The one I really hate is “if you can be any vegetable or food, what would you be?”

Nomenclature (the story behind the Album names)

Frizzle Fry: The album is named after the song, which refers to my experiences at Barrington Hall which comes up at other times in my career as well. It was a Berkely dorm co-op. They called it the acid house because the letters LSD were on the roof of the building so when you were on LSD you would know and you wouldn’t jump... So they would have these potluck dinners and then bands would play. There was this punchbowl laced with LSD and everyone in this place was frying their asses off… This place was an amazing entity… Like a living building of sorts. Some mind-altering experiences happened at the Barrington Hall.” Sailing the Seas of Cheese: This was our first album on a major label and we were being pushed along with the Bon Jovi and Guns ‘n Roses and the other hairball bands of the time. It was cheesy. We were right beside these guys saying “ok, this is it, let’s sail the seas of cheese.” Pork Soda: It just popped out of my mouth when we were in Europe. It resembled everything you didn’t want in a soft drink, which represented where we were at in our career; we were somehow popular yet we were everything a pop band wasn’t supposed to be.

Currently listens to: Eeka Mouse and Damien Marley Favorite food: “I don’t like to play favorites, but I am a fisherman.All fishermen say that their smoked salmon is the best but they’re all wrong because mine is the best.” Favorite kind of Fishing: “I like all fishing but Albacore is probably my favorite.” Biggest fish ever caught: “I don’t knowI caught three marlins in one afternoon on my honeymoon Best way to relax (other than fishing): “I like being on a tractor and tearing up brush.”



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Now that everyone has forgotten about Maroon 5, it is time to treat your ears (and spinal column) to a serious ass-kicking. Killswitch Engage has just finished As Daylight Dies, the follow-up to 2004's The End of Heartache.They are currently busy planning a tour, deciding on the new single, taking a lot of photos and doing a ton of interviews. Although Howard Jones admits to being a “big softy” he also declares that the new album is “a lot heavier” and this time around the band is taking a different approach.With everyone contributing to the writing process, KSE has made an album that's got more singing AND more screaming (however that's possible). Not only can fans look forward to a new album and a few Los Angeles-area shows in November but As Daylight Dies is your chance to turn your tens up to eleven without being embarrassed by what the dicks in the vehicles next to yours at the stop light might think.

“ WE DON’T THINK ABOUT IT. WE JUST DO WHAT WE DO.”

- Howard Jones

~ By Felix, art by Joe Simko ~


What’s going on in the world of Killswitch Engage right now? HJ: Interviews and photo shoots, just lots of that stuff. It's interesting right now, when you have to set aside large chunks of time to do these kinds of things. In the past couple of years you guys have seen a good amount of success including a song on the Resident Evil soundtrack. What has it been like as a band? HJ: It's been an interesting time, that's for sure.

As Daylight Dies is set to be released November 21st, how was the recording of this album different than The End of Heartache? HJ: It didn't suck as bad (laughs). I think it went a little easier just because we had a nice, long break. We really hadn't taken any time off in a good three, three-and-a-half years. So then we just kind of took it easy for a while and just really got to not think about the band for about half a year. And then it's like “hey, you know the record label wants an album” and so we talked about it, stuff got written pretty quickly. You know it doesn't really sound like a rushed album, because it wasn't rushed. It just was written and recorded pretty quickly for us and it was like, “Ah! There it is.”

What was the writing process like on this album? HJ: There were songs on the last album that one member would write. There were a bunch of songs on the last album that Adam wrote. This one was a more collaborative thing. It's just the way it turned out. It was much more of a “team effort” I guess you could say. Were any of these songs written on the road? HJ: Nothing was really written on the road. I wrote some of it here and there. But I had a bunch of lyrics and then I lost them so I had to rewrite a bunch of it in the studio… It was a bummer. Ideas, full songs, parts of songs just lost. And it was like “wow, this is no good.”

How do you guys decide on album art? HJ: That's mike. He's done all the album artwork. He's designed all our tee shirts. He does all of that stuff.

A lot of bands hire graphic design companies and just pick out cool looking art, it's cool that you guys have someone in the band that does that. HJ: We're somewhat self-contained when it comes to that sort of thing. So that definitely helps us.We get a little more control and it's definitely nice. Not that we need it, we're not control freaks.

Image is pretty important for a band. You guys don't look like the type of people that make this kind of gritty, dirty metal. HJ: Wow.We're just us man.Well, Mike grew up listening to hardcore and skating and that's just what he's in to and he's got long hair, he looks like the singer from The Used. Where me, you know, I'm just a big bald dude and Adam is… a bizarre individual. I don't know. We don't really think about it.We just do what we do.

What's in the near future for Killswitch? HJ: Lots of touring.That's the next thing on the agenda. We've been off the road for a while. We're doing Japan, Australia… all that stuff. Oh! And we're doing Alaska which is going to be kind of cool. Then I think we may do a run in The States then we're doing a full European tour.

Do you guys feel more at-home in the studio or on the road? HJ: You know, sometimes the studio is fun.The challenge of it is a fun thing. But I don't know.We get along. We get along on the road. I'm sure at least a few of the guys are looking forward to getting back out 'cause it's been a while and we have some new material to play. Is it all metal all the time for you? What kind of music do you listen to? HJ: I don't listen to metal all the time. I listen to a lot of HIM and I love Coldplay.What ever happens to tickle my fancy at the time. I've been

doing it for so long that I just can't listen to metal all the time.

Is there anything else we should know about the new album? HJ: It's definitely Killswitch.You definitely know it's us. There's a lot more singing. There's a lot more screaming. I don't know how that's possible, but there is more of both and As Daylight Dies is a heavier album. But there are also a lot more sissy elements because I guess I'm a big softy - just some stuff that just sort of makes you go “awww.” - By Felix, art by Joe Simko

Howard Jones At A Glance: Star Trek or Star Wars? Star Wars. They're both good. Just Empire is like one of the first movies I saw in a movie theatre. But believe me Kirk and Picard do a whole special place.

Shaggy or Scooby? I'm gonna go with Shaggy. He's a hippy with the munchies. That's just funny when you think about it. The Beatles or Elvis? Wow. Uh, the Beatles made the claim “bigger than Jesus” but Elvis was the King. I'm gonna' have to go with the King.

2 Pac or Biggie? Big Pac.There's no winner there. I have to combine the two. Favorite Cartoon Character? Simpson.That's easily done.

Homer

Second Number One Movie (Other than Fight Club)? God really, Fight Club is my favorite movie. I have some collector bars of soap. I even bid on a shirt that Brad Pitt wore in the movie. I'm going to have to go with Shawshank Redemption. Top Five Desert-Island albums: HIM - Razorblade Romance HIM - Love Metal HIM - Deep Shadows and Brilliant Highlights HIM - Greatest Lovesongs,Vol. 666 Faith No More - Angel Dust

SKINNIE MAGAZINE 45


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Group lead singer and founder,Amy Lee appropriately describes her music as a product of her perfectionism, a sound that exemplifies intricate, moving instrumental arrangements alongside her distinguished, unique vocal talent. Over the past seven years, Lee has taken Evanescence from being a small band in Little Rock,Arkansas to a phenomenon of such a characteristic presence that it has become the embodiment of an entire segment of popular culture, where striking visuals and exceptional music come together to create a connecting experience between artist and observer - communicating on an archetypal emotionalspiritual level.


CD Reviews with Dr. Dick

Their new album The Open Door easily qualifies as a success - one which stands apart from their previous work, taking the music to another level entirely. From the standpoint of those outside the inner circle of Evanescence, considering the pressure of creating a new album and competing with 14 million copies of their six-times Platinum “Fallen”, alongside fellow member Terry Balsamo suffering a stroke in November 2005 and with the dismissal of their former manager, one may see the pressure as too much for the band to handle. Lee, on the contrary, describes the reality of making their new album The Open Door as something completely different: “I felt like the success we had made it even easier to write the record because we had all this artistic and monetary freedom. We made enough money to take our time and put a lot into the album and just let it come out when it wanted to.” In regards to the drama

these trials and struggles and hurdles that I have to get over through the whole thing and it finally ends with Good Enough, which is this calm after the storm - I just let it all out. I said everything that I needed to say and I feel better now.” Perhaps the new writing situation added an element of growth to the music as well, as Amy confides, “To me what stands out the most is that you can hear the freedom in the music. For the first time, I actually felt open and confident enough to just jam with somebody and make music organically, like we actually had drums going on computer and Terry would play guitar and I would sit at the piano and knock out ideas, recording them into ProTools. It was new for me, because last time it was really different, I was really immature and I was very young and [Ben and I] never sat in a room together, not once. I always had my ideas that I would write on my own, very very secretive, having

and controversy that surrounds the band, including the departure of guitarist Ben Moody and the stroke suffered by other guitarist Terry Balsamo.“Terry is doing amazing, but he has to work ten times harder than he has had to before, because of the stroke and he is still recovering. It's a trip… Everyone in the press lately is looking at the band and seeing so much drama, saying it looks like it's falling apart - but it has not been like that all... Ben leaving the band was a really positive thing and it needed to happen - his chapter did end and it was the only way for us to grow.All the changes that I have made in the past year with people who were working with me and people that I was involved with, those were very positive changes for me. Terry having a stroke - that is still a challenge that we are overcoming and I know we can overcome it and already the positives that has come out of it has made us all have to rely on one another and appreciate what we have. In the simplest forms in our life we are all very grateful to be here and you just become that much closer.”

to be alone all the time and I was very vulnerable - it was scary. Ben too, he would write by himself and we would try to bring our ideas together and make them work. This time I think all the parts intertwine together and make sense. [Though] I am the leader of the band and I do most of the writing… it is so important to have somebody to work with and work off of, because if one of us comes up with an idea, the other can take it to the next level, and the other can take it a level even higher than that.”

“Everyone in the press is looking at the band and seeing so much drama, saying it looks like it’s falling apart.. but it’s not been like that at all.”

Lee suggests that it is through the challenges Evanescence faced that the band was brought to where it is today.The process of creating The Open Door has been that of transcendence, moving from the challenges, to the emotion, and then to the triumph. The album itself follows this same lyrical equation. As Lee states, “Listening to the album and knowing how it was for me, I think it starts out in one place and ends in another. It starts in an angry place and ends in a happy place where I finally let it go.The album is really a journey, going through all

- Amy Lee

Overall, Amy Lee makes the case that the state of the band is as clear as the eye can see - thriving, alive, and ever that much more than they were before.The success that they have enjoyed is only a testament to the talent that embodies Evanescence. Just as Lee says, “We are totally excited.” - So are we. - By Guy White, art by Joey Remmers

Quick Facts - Lee embodies a style called “Neo-Goth”. - Lee, at times, designs her own clothing, as seen in those worn in the video for “Going Under” (2003). - On “The Open Door”, the opening to the song “Good Enough” was originally expected by the band to be used by Disney for the film “The Chronicles of Narnia”. - Lee was born in Riverside, California in 1981 - Ben Moody’s replacement, guitarist Terry Balsamo, played in an early incarnation of Limp Bizkit and later Cold, which he left to join Evanescence full time.

DISCLAIMER: Dr. Dick is not a real doctor, he is just a dick. His opinions do not reflect those of Skinnie Magazine, but we like him anyway.

+44 When Your Heart Stops Beating Interscope Records After Blink 182 went on “hiatus”, Travis Barker and Mark Hoppus decided they still wanted to create music. Rounded out by guitarists Craig Fairbaugh of the Transplants and Shane Gallagher of the Nervous Return, +44 was created. Expect the same high-energy pop punk with strikingly similar vocal melodies, only without that horrible whine. That's because Hoppus takes over on vocals. Let's face it; DeLonge is a great writer and intelligent guy but his voice makes me want to punch him in the throat.

Depeche Mode The Best of… Vol. 1 Sire/Reprise/Mute I love Depeche Mode as much as the next gay new-waver but I have to ask one stupid question: If they have released three previous anthologies, how can they release a fourth one and call it “Volume 1”? It has many of the same songs you will find on the other anthologies. If you already have a solid collection of their CDs this will have nothing new for you. On the plus side, if you like Depeche Mode but don't have any of their CDs, I suppose this particular anthology would be as good a place as any to start.

Lady Sovereign Public Warning Def Jam The only thing funnier than British people is female rappers. And the only thing funnier than that is a British female rapper. And the only thing funnier than any of that is me deliberately earning the ire of British people and easily infuriated feminazis alike. Damn tea-sippers and man-haters. Lady Sovereign is the first non-American female signed by Jay Z to Def Jam. I actually ended up being amused by this CD since Lady Sovereign brings it old school and doesn't seem to take herself too seriously unlike most rappers stateside who spout that tough guy gangsta' bullshit. Bullocks, I say!

Various Artists Masters of Horror II Downtown I liked the first Masters of Horror compilation and I figured I gotta' meet my Hessian quota this month. Okay, so let's see: Hatebreed, Cradle of Filth, Chimaira, the usual bad ass, heavy shit… then all of a sudden Seether? Eagles of Death Metal? The Smashup?!? Not very metal at all. So here I am with a CD that screams metal but isn't, and my Hessian quota is not met after all.The only thing horrifying about this CD is the crappy track selection. I didn't think the Eagles of Death Metal could sound any shittier, but I was wrong.They truly are the masters of horror, if your worst fear is crappy music!

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My Chemical Romance The Black Parade Reprise/WEA I admit that in spite of their popularity, I never really got into MCR. What little I heard of them I felt was simplistic and indicative of everything I dislike about the “hardcore” scene. So this CD truly surprised me. The maturity of their compositional skills has become incredibly evident on The Black Parade. No joke. Each song is intelligently layered and the transitions and dynamics are very tastefully executed. MCR has truly taken their songwriting to the next level. How disappointing, I was hoping to be a dick and write something really horrible about them.

The Game Doctor's Advocate Geffen I love mainstream hip hop artists. They are too cool for anything, especially other human beings. I also love their publicists.They are just as cool as their artists, if not cooler. Here are some things you can count on from Doctor's Advocate: 1) it will be successful just like any other of the Game's efforts. 2) It will be more of the same; full of gritty gangsta' lyrics, catchy hooks, hard-hitting yet semi-over-produced beats and predictable rhymes. He even has the same pose as he did on his last cover. Don't strain your creative muscle there too much, buddy.

It seems like antiquated history when in 1995 Key Cool and Rhettmatic were two DJs hosting a weekly show on UCLA radio. Part wishful thinking and part inspiration, the duo invited Dannu, LMNO, 2Mex, and Zen - four of LA's respectable MCs who had appeared on their radio show - to help with the title track “Visionary (Stop Actin' Crazy).” Soon the onthe-spot connection between the six inspired the group to produce Galleries in 1998, then followed it up with 2000's Sophomore Jinx.

It was difficult to make a mark as the hip hop scene had already been shaped by AfricanAmerican MCs. Hip hop then, as it is now, was associated by race. In contrast, the Visionaries were the first hip-hop act to boast an ethnically diverse lineup: Beat Junkie DJ Rhettmatic, Dannu (both from the Philippines), LMNO (of European heritage), 2Mex (Mexican), Zen (African-American) and KeyKool (Japanese). In time the group quickly built an audience as diverse as their music. But they were also breaking new ground in hip hop in other ways. While many hip hop artists revealed their immediate discontent with society through abrasive lyrics, the Visionaries were idealistic and incorporated this approach in their song writing,“I would say we are trying to be positive people,” said Key Cool. “It reflects our quest of staying positive human beings.” It has been two years since the band released their third album, Pangaea. In October the

band released their fourth full-length recording We Are The Ones (we've been waiting for…) on Up Above Records, by far their most introspective work ever. “Any problems we had in the past we are able to get through it,” stated Key Cool.“We have parents, grandparents, who kept us straight.” The album may be remembered most for the group's collaboration with legendary hip hop producer J Dilla on the track “All Right.” “It was one of the last songs he worked on,” shares Key, remembering J. Dilla who passed away in February 2006 after years battling a series of health ailments, which included Lupus. “At that time he was touring Europe in a wheel chair,” shares Key, “This was one of the last songs he contributed to.”

After four successful albums and over 20 solo projects one could conclude the Visionaries are done proving themselves. “The hardest part is… we are still proving ourselves,” Key said. “It is dealing with the ideas that are so engrained in people, and have them listen to what you have to say.” We Are The Ones… is testament of their struggles and victories in life. Some day race and religious background will be an after thought in hip hop but Key is quick to point out that discrimination is not exclusive to music alone. “You can be mad at people's ignorance,” said Key, “But in the end all you can do is produce yourself.” - By PJ Yatar, art by Pinky Taylor

Tom Waits Orphans: Brawlers, Bawlers and Bastards Epitaph/Anti For over 30 years Tom Waits has recorded songs without bothering to learn how to sing. Apparently sounding like shit gives you character or something lame like that. I've found that I can emulate Waits' voice by gargling a mouthful of broken glass. I can talk shit because I like Tom Waits. You can't. Orphans: Brawlers, Bawlers and Bastards is a three disc anthology of rare or new songs. Disc one is raunchy bluesy material (Brawlers), disc two is a bunch of tearjerking ballads (Bawlers) and disc three is random, weird, experimental stuff (Bastards).

The Killers Sam's Town Island Before I begin I must warn that I've always felt synth-rock and the whole '80s revival thing is gay. I know, I know, it's popular, KROQ plays it, everyone loves it and I'm a douche bag for disagreeing. Get bent. I can honestly say the Killers have matured in their songwriting in terms of both lyrics and music. So are the Killers going to survive the sophomore slump? Yes. Will they be around even after all the other bands copping this vibe disappear into obscurity? Yes, because 1) the Killers started the bandwagon and 2) their sound grows more and more distinctive as they progress. I still think it’s gay, though. SKINNIE MAGAZINE 49



Deftones Saturday Night Wrist Maverick I love the Deftones on a musical level but I hate Chino's voice.That being said, Satur-day Night Wrist makes me hate Chino's voice even more. Musically, it is classic Deftones, and combines the elements you love from previous efforts into a single, nifty package. However, since I can't get past Chino's voice on this one, I gave it to a co-worker who loves the Deftones. He leant me some more insightful opinions about what a great CD this is if you are a true Deftones fan. Which I guess I'm not. Thanks, buddy. Oh, and you're welcome for the Deftones CD. Jerk.

SAOSIN

From the World Web to World Tours The Long Beach Arena. After years of paying their dues, AFI plays a triumphant sold-out headlining show. With their long-time buds Tiger Army in tow, relative newcomers Saosin are also on the prestigious bill. Some of the concert-goers wondered, “Who are these guys?” After seeing the boldly painted Saosin van parked right outside the venue, others asked,“how the fuck do you say that?” Pronounced 'say-o-sin', it's told that the name comes from a Chinese proverb, which means “Love With Caution”.You can't help but forgive bassist Chris Sorenson for his innocently naïve explanation, “It's what the Samurai used to tell their sons.” “That's Japanese!” vocalist Cove Reber corrects with jest. Playing the 8:30 slot this evening, Saosin wins the early crowd over with ease. There are arms in the air and sing-alongs with clapping hands. It's not a far stretch for the fans. Some of the songs on the Saosin debut album are reminiscent of “Sing the Sorrow”-era AFI.The music is progressive post-hardcore, fusing metal with pop. With only two EP's to their credit, Saosin's rise is unprecedented. It started in 2003 when their MP3.com page was launched. Listeners caught on quick. “Our message board helped us a lot, too,” says Chris, “the internet has worked wonders for us.” The early tunes on the web led to constant touring. Soon, they had a reputation as the new kid in town that could very quickly win the praise of everyone. Their Capital Records A&R guy “was stalking us from the beginning,” Chris explains, “but he never came up and introduced himself. He just watched us. After a few tours, I guess he felt we were ready and approached us about signing with them. We had talked to Epitaph and others,

but as time went on we felt it wasn't worth it. All the indie labels now are like major labels. Capital was almost the closest thing to an indie that was a major.They really wanted us to do what we've already been doing for the last two years”.

After appearing alongside them on the Warped Tour in 2005, rock heavyweight Avenged Sevenfold personally invited the Newport Beach-based Saosin to join them for a winter tour that same year. “That was incredible!” Cove exclaims, “All the bands were from Orange County, it was just a bunch of friends that got along.All the shows were pretty much sold out, but halfway through the tour, A7X started hitting MTV and were on TRL. It was a shock to see what MTV really does for a band! The shows just got crazier and crazier!” Now, Saosin’s own video for the song “Voices” is currently in rotation on Fuse. To their credit, all the recent media hoopla hasn't affected the boys. Urged by major label-imposed 'media training' to speak of the band in the third person, along with other “fruity” instructions, the guys remained true to themselves “That was so shitty!” tells Chris, “We just couldn't grasp it! We told them we are just a hard rock band with good arrangements and good songs which we think and speak for themselves.” Cove elaborates,“We're an emotional, passionate group. There are so many different styles infused to create our own. We're a rock band just trying to do the best we can!” After their show tonight, it's clear that trying their best is a formula that works. - By Brooke Ellis, art by Luke Feldman

Kid Koala Your Mom's Favorite DJ Ninjatune I like talking shit. The problem here is I actually enjoyed this CD. I dig Kid Koala's style. That douche… For those of you not in the know, Kid Koala is a DJ on the rise, having collaborated with likes of Gorillaz, Deltron 3030 and Lovage. His style is eclectic, enigmatic, and a third thing that begins with the letter “e”. He is one of the few DJs who can captivate the short attention span of today's ADD addled adults with seemless mixes of hip hop, jazz piano solos, rock grooves, people sneezing, conversational Cantonese, and any other random sound he can get his hands on. Meshuggah Nothing Nuclear Blast Meshuggah is another one of those bands that I would totally enjoy if they had a different vocalist. It's uncanny that a group that experiments with odd timing and unconventional syncopation would have a completely one-dimensional set of vocals. There's nothing wrong with screaming, but when you scream like absolute crap on every single track, something has to happen. It's like baking a totally awesome cake and then pissing all over it right in front of everybody before you serve it.

Oasis Stop the Clocks Sony There is only one reason why I am reviewing this CD, and that is because of my intense, burning hatred for Oasis and people who like Oasis. Not only are they British, they also contributed greatly to the neutering of rock music in the '90s, and continue to do so to this day as if the standards for rock haven't been lowered enough. Hopefully Liam Gallagher's unibrow overtakes his face and strangles him… but we will have no such luck. The Gallagher brothers will live on and Liam will become a Mick Jagger-like icon for a generation of whiney, pretentious wusses who can’t wipe their asses without crying. Oh, did I mention that I hate Oasis? SKINNIE MAGAZINE 51


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SHOPPY

Most aspiring groups in this day and age try to emulate the masses of mainstream and radio friendly cookie cutter hits. This is not, however, the case with Riverside's own Shoppy. The trio, who strangely enough won the Inland Empire Music Award for best metal band, are anything but metal; they blend elements of funk, hip hop, a wee bit of hard rock, as well as a fusion of just about every other style of music

IDASAS

'I Deserve A Sexy-Ass Stripper' is just one of the acronyms for IDASAS, the hot new band from So Cal.“We wanted a name that was different from any other band,” explains drum man Jason Faix, “we're waiting for people to get it tattooed on their… arms.” If you ask bassist Rick Sterling, the name spells, 'I Drink All Saturday And Sunday'. Frontman Dave Strickland says,“People ask us what 'Idasas' means. It's

RAYZING SONS

Six To Deal Wit is not just the title of Rayzing Sons debut six track EP, it is also a threat from six phenomenal So Cal musicians who have come to take over the stale music scene with their blood-boiling brand of infused metal. So Cal is not new to what this band is capable of as they have been on the scene for a few years but now is the time for their gospel to spread. Arvie “R.V. Lowe Jr, one of their

to grace the planet earth.They've been a popular act in the IE for the last 6 years, sharing the bill with such acts as Weezer, Incubus, Alien Ant Farm, and Long Beach Dub All-Stars. The band has just followed up their full-length album, 'Welcome to Antarctica,' with a new 5 song EP entitled 'Mojo.' The disc stays true to the idiosyncratic sound and tongue-in-cheek humor they are known for, while also presenting a progression into more experimental avenues. “This album is less angry,” states Gabe Hartman, the band's keyboardist, saxophonist, and backing vocalist. “Last time we had things to say and we just wanted to prove we could do a rock album without a guitar,” mostly referring to their guitarist's departure several years ago which led to their unique setup, which includes drummer and lead vocalist Chad Villareal and Bassist and backing vocalist Matt Wyckoff. This time the group took a more old school approach when it came to recording Mojo, preferring to lay down the majority of the instruments live in one long take, and then going back only to dub the vocals and minor parts. “This time we were going for a more Jazz style rhythm, and a live cohesive sound.” The group is a definite must see and is scheduling shows all over Southern California. Welcome to Antarctica is available on iTunes and Mojo is available exclusively at shows. - By Alan Weiler Sounds like: 1 part Primus, 2 parts Parliament Funkadelic, a splash of Dr. Dre and a slice of Sublime, shaken not stirred.

different for everybody, like everything in life. My acronym would be, 'I, David Alan Strickman, Am Sexy'.” Jokes aside, Idasas is a group of tight-knit, motivated friends who have taken an ambitious, grass-roots approach to launching a musical career. “We've done everything ourselves”, Dave confesses, “We formed our own label. We found investors - after they saw our show, they were like 'Hell yeah!'” With guitarist Eric Delgado completing the lineup, the guys always give it their all onstage. Rick believes,“It's a responsibility! If people are willing to watch your set, you need to deliver! We're straight-ahead rock n' roll, every message we have is uplifting. Believe in yourself! Just break out and don't look back! That's what we're doing! If there's someone who makes a connection to our songs, because they themselves don't think they have a voice for it, that's great!” Dave adds,“It's not about how much things suck or how much you hate your parents, or how you wanna' kill someone.We're fun. Just about anybody who comes to a show ends up being our friend. Huge audience involvement is what we're looking for.” Rick agrees, “We'll always have time for everyone. I personally guarantee, now matter how big we ever get, we'll never stop talking to fans!” - Brooke Ellis Sounds Like: Idealistic Dynamic Albeit Somewhat Average Sound.

aggressive powerhouse vocalists, elaborates as to the band's hiatus and their comeback to the So Cal local music scene. “We took time to reevaluate a lot of things,” R.V. laments. “Some of the guys did not want to do the grind work and so they left so we had to replace them.” I have to say that they are not reinventing the wheel with their music but they are adding a another spoke to that proverbial wheel with their aggressive brand of metal that is infused with traces of hip hop, R&B and the volatility of a great modern rock band. R.V. related that “We like to keep people guessing as to where we are coming from no matter the crowd that is there to see us.We made each song for a different crowd but it is still Rayzing Sons.” Their single is “Deal Wit It” and it is a ball of burning fire that singes your ears. “We will be around for a long time and you will have to deal with us,” said a confident R.V. “Noose” is another track with an ominous title that made me look twice and listen to the lyrics. “Noose is a forward statement as to not forgetting the struggle of where black people came from. It is any race that was treated with irreverence here in the U.S.” The band Rayzing Sons hits like a machete to the throat and the cut is only getting deeper as the band gains notoriety. - By Jeffrey Easton Sounds Like: Korn, Living Color and Follow For Now tossed into a nasty sounding blender.





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Meet The Artists Roy Gonzalez The self-described “rebel with a pen”, Roy Gonzalez currently resides in San Jose Del Cabo, Mexico when he's not traveling the world. He has a long and impressive history not just in the world of art but in the world of surfing and music as well. His art is known for its vividness, brilliance and attention to detail. Inspired by the Surf Scene of Southern California as well the art of legendary artist Rick Griffin, Gonzalez took to the pen at a young age. He created penned the “Surf Crazed” comic book series in the '80s, and his work has graced the surf, skate and snowboards of many of the industries top names. He has illustrated promotional posters for the biggest blues and surf events in Southern California, as well as creating award-winning CD covers for Etta James and many other rock and blues musicians. Simply put, his history and tenure in the art-world is simply to in-depth to go into great detail here. He became the obvious choice to illustrate our cover due in part to his incredible history and due largely in part to the fact that as soon as we mentioned a story on Primus, he instantly volunteered, proclaiming his admiration of a band every bit as iconoclastic as himself. www.gonzalezink.com gonzalezink@hotmail.com

Ben Hogan Hailing from Australia, Ben Hogan is the founder and CEO of Hogart designs.With a keen passion in motorsports, especially those involving motorcycles, Hogan has had the rare privilege of attaining his exact dreams; to illustrate for the biggest companies in the Motor Sports world.To this date, the 25 year old artist has been commissioned to produce art for Mike Metzger's Factory Freestyle, Fox Racing, No Fear, Sobe, BOOST Mobile, Clear Channel Entertainment, Slaughter House Cycles and countless others including various trade and entertainment magazines. He hopes to one day move to the United States where he can work and live full time. In his spare time, he enjoys riding dirt bikes and wakeboards. Because of his deep involvement with motorsports and the fact that he has already illustrated Metzger as well as numerous other FMX legends, Hogan quickly became the obvious choice to illustrate this month's Mike Metzger article. www.hogartdesigns.com ben@hogartdesigns.com 56 SKINNIE MAGAZINE

Joe Simko Designing and Illustrating every piece of promotional art for the 2006 vans Warped Tour, Joe Simko is making quite a name for himself in the world of rock and punk.This New York native's vivid and in-your-face style has earned him stints illustrating posters for bands such as Gwar, KMFDM, Trivium, Cannibal Corpes, Sonic Youth and more. As such, his artwork has also appeared in books such as “The Art of Modern Rock” and “The Art of Modern Frankenstein”. He was also hired as the penciler for actor/author Stephen Baldwin's graphic novel series, “Spirit Warriors”. Simko's art can also be found on many skate and snowboards, guitars and drum sets. Because of his style and his heavy involvement in the world of hard and heavy rock, Simko was our choice to illustrate the Killswitch Engage article. www.sweetrot.com joe@sweetrot.com

Dean Bradley The Orange County resident's name is well known in the annals of the skate and surf industry. During a seven-year career as the art director of Hurley and as a freelance artist, Dean Bradley created and innovated several highly successful T-shirt and surf wear designs, garnering international recognition in his chosen industry. After a successful run making his name known and pushing the boundaries of new school surf apparel art, Bradley decided to move on and launch his own apparel brand called Atwater. He has also created two separate and personal art identities called Mainframe and Carbine for the purposes of expressing his feelings towards pop culture. We chose him to illustrate our piece on Christian Hosoi due to his intimate involvement with the surf and skate industry and his respect of the skate legend. www.sideproj.com/v3 www.riginalcarbine.com www.atwatercollection.com dean@atwatercollection.com


Joey Remmers Born in Orange, CA and growing up in part in the mountain town of Crestline, CA, Joey Remmers now resides with his wife and children in Orange County where he works as a tattoo artist at Kari Barba's renowned shop Outer Limits in Tustin. Although he has won numerous awards in his tattoo career, Remmers also maintains a career in the fine arts and is fast earning a reputation in the lowbrow art community. His preferred medium is acrylic on canvas and his signature style is simultaneously beautiful and downright macabre. Joey made his way through art school quickly, completing most of his AA in the fine arts even before graduating high school. Motivated and focused, the 28 year old artist has several successful art exhibitions regularly, with pieces selling in the range of thousands of dollars. He is also skilled in various methods of illustration and Photoshop. Joey's dark yet elegant style made him the obvious choice to provide artwork for the article on Evanescence. www.joeyremmers.com joey@joeyremmers.com

Luke Feldman The Australian born artist is well versed in both ink illustration and vector graphics. He has built a name creating art, animation, skate deck designs, vinyl adhesive art and sculptures, all of which aptly display his bizarre style. His skills are being sought after all over the globe, having had his work displayed and reviewed in numerous publications in Australia, Europe, Russia, the UK, Hong Kong of course the U.S. His style utilizes interesting shapes and a unique palette of vibrant colors distinctive to his style. His animations use vector based design and Flash, and generally the music in the animations is composed by Feldman as well. Feldman was chosen to illustrate Saosin because honestly, everything else was already taken by the time he came into the picture, however we feel that his unique and visually captivating style would have worked for any of the articles in this issue.

Pinky Taylor Originally from South Africa, Pinky Taylor a.k.a. pinkypop123 was born and raised in an area surrounded by diverse art and culture. At age eight his work was sent to Japan for his first exhibition, establishing his destiny as an artist. At sixteen he left school to attend an art college. However, upon graduation he felt burnt out from art and decided to pursue a music career, which lead him to the United States on a musician/artist visa. His former band broke up and Pinky found himself getting back to his roots as an artist, applying his work to various mediums including canvas, clothing and anything else you can put art on. Although he has promoted his signature series as pinkypop123, he now works as a freelance artist, generating art for companies such as Volcom, Lost Enterprises, Sanctuary, Placebo Surfboareds, Miskeen Originals, Global Inheritance, etc. Pinky's raw style is evocative of modern street culture, making him a good candidate to illustrate this month's feature on the Visionaries. www.pinkytaylor.com pinky123@mac.com

www.skaffs.com lukefledman@skaffs.com

Jamie Seymour Growing up in Arcadia, CA, Jamie Seymour immersed himself in the hot rod and car culture of Southern California throughout his childhood. His fondest memories involve him and his father scrounging for cars and parts at local swap meets early Sunday mornings. At 16 he bought a 1967 Chevelle and went to work on it, claiming that like many other people, his car is an expression of himself. He knew his life's ambition was to be involved with cars in some way. Seymour sought to create and show people ideas, which lead him to automotive design. He attended the Art Center of Design in Pasadena, CA, the alma mater of his heroes such as Thom Taylor, Chip Foose, and Mike Desmond. He would soon thereafter find himself working at Kawasaki, then at Thor Motorcross. After paying his dues, he returned to Kawasaki as their US designer. He currently also enjoys doing work for custom shops nationwide. However, Seymour wishes to push the boundaries of design even further.We had originally intended to do a humorous Chop Shop involving Scooby Doo's Mystery Machine, however once Jamie Seymour's artwork fell into our hands we realized we'd be fools to not change course and do the spread on Seymour's designs instead. www.geocities.com/jmecmore jmecmore@yahoo.com

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An Intimate Interview with the Cast.

After a wildly successful first two seasons, the cast of Drawn Together have endeared themselves into the hearts, fantasies and gag reflexes of television audiences everywhere. Starting out as an apt satire of popular but lame reality shows and various cartoon archetypes, the show, now a cult classic phenomenon, delves into its third season.

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~ By Jasen T. Davis, art courtesy of Comedy Central ~


If a member of the cast leaves or dies, will Mickey Mouse join the cast? Princess Clara: Why would Mickey Mouse be in the house? He's a registered trademark character of the Walt Disney Corporation. And as you can tell, there are no registered trademark characters allowed in the Drawn Together house. Besides, Mickey's on crack.

Will George Bush, Jr. ever join the cast? He's my favorite cartoon character! Foxxy Love: We's don't get politisisical around here. We leave that to them cute little boys in South Park. Man, that fat one sure is cute. You got his number? I bet it's eight and a half. Since the show has already made fun of Hurricane Katrina and 9/11, are we ever going to see an episode where they make fun of the Holocaust or slavery in American history? Foxxy Love: Actually you got it all wrong, Mr. Question Guy. We never made fun of Katrina. You thinking of the other black person you see on the TV, Spike Lee. And we don't needs to joke about the holocaust. We can make fun of Clara if we want to make fun of a fairy tale.

Is Bob the Cucumber based on Billy Graham? Wooldor Sockbat:: Bob the Cucumber represents every asshole who uses god and religion as an excuse to spread hate, anger and syphillis throughout the world. So, yes.

Toot, will you ever have your own spin-off show? Toot Braunstein: Ha-ha-ha! Very funny! You mean like, “Fat Albert” or “Welcome Back Fatter” or “My Two Fats” or “FatWatch” or “Three's Company Fat.” I've heard 'em all. Ling Ling, do you think the show will ever continue the ongoing debate regarding the pros and cons

of Japanese hentai pornography? Ling Ling: (unintelligible gibberish, then he raped my foot)

Why doesn't the show have a Transformers-type character? Captain Hero: In the upcoming season, our fans will get a peak at a little transformer porn action. It's pretty hot. I mean, not 'dead people soaked in other dead people's blood' hot, but still pretty hot. Are you ever going to see Felix the Cat on the show? Toot Braunstein: Ha-ha-ha! I get it! Is Felix the Fat ever gonna' be on the show… or “WoodyWoodfatter“ or “Tom and Fatty” or “The Fantastic Fat” or “Fatty Smurf” or “Aquaman.” Actually, I take that back, I think he's gonna' be on episode #312. Will we ever see a villain based on Darth Vader, Lee Iacocca, or Osama Bin Laden? Xandir P. Wifflebottom: I think that like Darth Vader and Lee Iacocca, Osama will one day be proven to be a good man who was merely lured to the dark side by anger and that he's voiced by James Earl Jones.

Captain Hero, why is it that you so closely resemble Jimmy, the creator and CEO of Skinnie Magazine? Captain Hero: There is no such thing as Skinnie Magazine. You're just making shit up now.

Michael Jackson: guilty, or innocent? Foxxy Love: Not sure. It was much easier to tell if he was guilty back when he was black. Spanky, Is porn bad for you, or do you think it's just a healthy part of browsing the internet? Spanky Hamm: Porn is the healthiest thing a person can do. Just ask my best friend, Darren James.

Will we ever see an orgy sequence

involving every one of the characters? Princess Clara: Yes. Last season in the premiere. If you're going to interview me at least pretend like you've seen the show.

Xandir, Do you think that the characters in the “Final Fantasy” series are just a little full of themselves? Xandir P. Wifflebottom: I can only speak for my rectum which is very full from several of the characters from “Final Fantasy”.

Foxxy, Why did you really have to give your kid away? Was it rabies, or something else? Foxxy Love: Probably was them damn rabies who took my kid. The Jews already took the banks and the media. They probably took the Foxxy's kid too. Wait, did you say rabbies or rabies? Wooldoor, Who do you think is more artificial… Ashley Simpson, or sugar-free vanilla ice cream? Wooldoor Sockbat:: Why is everyone so mean to poor Ashley? Doesn't everyone know that the awkward looking, less successful little sisters of the world give the best blowjobs?

Xandir, If you were forced to have sex with a female character, which one would it be: Foxxy Love or Princess Clara? Xandir P. Wifflebottom: I would have sex with Clara since she's a huge asshole. Finally, could I get each member to list their turn-ons, turn offs, favorite foods, and worst phobias? Thanks for playing.

Turn ons: Not being asked to write a list of turn ons and vanilla. Turn offs: Being asked to write a list of turn ons and vanilla.


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Most companies who are beset with the undertaking of designing or redesigning a vehicle, or even customizing an existing vehicle, will work from conceptual images before any kind of production can even begin. Such institutions will turn to professional artists and designers such as Jamie Seymour, whose artwork is the focus of this month's Chop Shop section. Seymour, a self-confessed car enthusiast, describes his sketch of the unusual and highly stylized Infiniti sports coupe:“This is a project I did in [art] school. It was a sponsored project by Nissan/Infiniti and we were told to design an "entry" vehicle.The word entry was left open for interpretation. I defined the word as an entryway into the company for new customers,” Seymour explains.“My car was a top of the line 2+2 coupe with Japanese styling.The car was like the Dodge Viper, they didn't sell a lot, but it gets people excited about the company and into the dealerships.The design is classic European 2+2 coupe proportions, with styling cues from Japanese products.The side ribs evoke a Japanese paper fan.” In regards to the rebuilt Camaro called “Project Quicksilver”, this comes from a pleased restoration enthusiast named Clint Hart, who commissioned Seymour to render a conceptual image of how it should look; “I became aware of Jamie and his talents on the HOTROD.com bulletin board. I had been wanting to get a drawing done of my project but really didn't even think that something like this would be of any interest for someone to do. And if someone was interested in doing it, they would probably want a lot of money. Chip FOOSE charges upwards of $5000 to do one of his famous drawings, and in no way shape or form would I consider that kind of scratch for this project,” Hart recollects on his website.“Then Jamie made a pitch on the bulletin board to draw people's car, I thought this is was a great opportunity and I just had to see if he would do it. Lucky for me, he agreed to do it.” Jamie Seymour has amassed an impressive portfolio of designs that range from classic vehicle restorations to conceptual vehicles for private parties and major companies alike.

~ By Chris Hansen with assistance from Aaron Ohama ~ SKINNIE MAGAZINE 61




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1. Happy Time Harry

Did your self-absorbed and sometimes cruel roommate destroy your Jiggle Billy doll? To hell with that thing, it was lame anyway. Now you can replace it with Happy Time Harry! Happy Time Harry isn't supposed to drink liquor, but does anyway! Spare kidneys not included. $19.95

2. Log by BLAMO

This ultra modern accent piece from BLAMO is multi-functional and features sturdy construction. It's big, it's heavy, it's wood.We might even go so far as to say it's better than bad, it's good. $25.00

3. Cherokee Hair Tampons

The all natural and ultra absorbent alternative to cotton, these are organically grown (no artificial soaps or shampoos) by Colorado Cherokees, Carlos Ramirez and Chief Running Pinto.Why do they itch? Hey man, you always knew they'd get you back for littering man. Like, you made them cry man by littering the Earth, man. $19.99 (comes in packs of six)

4. Duff Beer

From Duff’'s Springfield breweries comes an American Icon. Cheap, mass produced flavor and an annoying mascot make it the obvious choice for Sunday football or a day at the races. Also try Duff Stout, the beer that made Ireland famous. $6.99 (also comes in packs of six)

5. Rosie the Robot

Whether you married a working woman, a lazy one or a handicapped one, it's always nice to have a little extra help around the house. Cooks, cleans and never wants to cuddle. $399.00

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6. ACME Anvil

Probably one of the most versatile things you can own, an anvil is more than just a necessity for blacksmithing. Whether used as an anchor, a part of an elaborate trap, or for dropping on the heads of your foes as they go running by, Acme Anvils are indestructible and come with a lifetime guarantee. $39.99

7. Mr. Sparkle

This fine Japanese cleaning product claims that “Mr. Sparkle is disrespectful of dirt”, when roughly translated. The mascot, Mr. Sparkle himself, proclaims that he is the “harsh nemesis of all that is unclean” and invites you to “taste the zestful bubbling foam of my vengeance!” Well, can't argue with that, you round-eye gaijin! $30 (includes import fee)

8. Cheesy Poofs

When it comes to cheese-flavored snacks, here are the facts: I like Cheesy Poofs. You like Cheesy Poofs. If it weren't for Cheesy Poofs, we'd all be lame. Just bear that in mind next time you must make a decision of which cheese-flavored snack food to purchase. $3.95

9. Portable Hole

This has got to be the coolest thing! You can use the portable hole to put a hole in ANYthing, be it a wall, a safe, someone’s car, a female locker room... possibly even incision-free surgery a la “Temple of Doom” could be performed using this bad boy! The only inconvenience inherent to owning a portable hole is if you misplace it, it’s hard to find. Worse yet, sometimes you lose other stuff in it. Just be careful with your hole and you won’t have to worry about losing things in it. $12.95

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Borat: Cultural Learnings of America for Make Benefit Glorious Nation of Kazakhstan Tenacious D In The Pick Of Destiny

Directed by Liam Lynch Starring Jack Black & Kyle Gass

Directed by Larry Charles Starring Sasha Baron Cohen

Out in their quest to become the greatest rock band in the world, Jack Black and musical cohort Kyle Gass ensue on their journey to locate the legendary Pick of Destiny. Normally, such a cheesy plot would be something you would only poke fun at but it's the over-the-top antics, musical cleverness and the duo's worship of this mythological item that propels the film forward. Much like their classic debut CD, the film is rife with Tenacious D's outlandish and trademark humor. Encounters with Satan and Sasquatch are a few of the film's highlights, but the manic energy is relentless throughout and all for the better.

Aside from having ownership to the longest and grammatically incorrect title in feature film history, it also stars one of the funniest comedic characters to grace the silver screen. Picking up the slack of the disappointing “Ali G In Da House”, Cohen's latest role as the naïve Borat finds him analyzing the annals of American culture and leaving no stone unturned. The humor not only stems from Borat's actions, but Cohen's absolute immersion of his character in his quest of curiosity based on American culture. Initially, it's a clever critique of our culture and its hypocrisy, but thankfully it's something that is never shoved in your face.

Casino Royale

Directed by Martin Campbell Starring Daniel Craig, Judi Dench & Eva Green

Taking a hint from Christopher Nolan's Batman Begins, the twenty-first installment of the James Bond franchise takes us back to 007's first quest.Yes, apparently Bond actually had to earn his way to becoming a Double-O agent, but that's neither here nor now.What's important is that Daniel Craig manages to effectively channel the frustration of Bond's first quest against the villainous Le Chiffre. In this film he's far more reckless and the cool suave and skill we're generally used to is thrown out the window. The action is still there and the sex is ever so present, but that's what makes these movies so damn great!

The Santa Clause 3: The Escape Clause

Directed by Michael Lembeck Starring Tim Allen & Martin Short

The Santa Clause 3 marks the first of several generic Holiday films made solely to lure out those families itching for a happy-golucky film, but end up finding they suck more than Grandma's eggnog. If by some chance you are curious, though, the third stint involves a nasty ol' coot by the name of Jack Frost. He wants to be Santa, so in a predictable ploy they look at the card again to find another absurdly small exception. Now Frost is the new Santa Clause and because Tim Allen loves being fat without having to worry about heart attacks, he sets out to set things right. I got a better idea: don't make another one.

CARTOON GEEK:

Find it on DVD, VHS or BetaMax, these cult classics pioneered or improved upon animation methods that any nerd or stoner - I mean, um... art connoisseur... could appreciate.

Wizards (1977)

Ralph Bakshi is best known for pushing the boundaries of animation. He made popular the use of rotoscoping (tracing over live action), and was the first animator to create cartoon movies aimed at adults instead of children. Wizards is perhaps one of his most popular Cult Classics, featuring vivid imagery and graphic story-telling. Sex, violence, social and political satire… what more could you ask for? Pick this up for an important piece of animation history.

Yellow Submarine (1968)

Maybe it was the fact that it involved the Beatles, who at the time were bigger than Jesus. Maybe it had to do with the appeal of the minimalist animation style and psychadelic art design as overseen and pioneered by the then-popular German artist Heinz Edelmann. Whatever it was, this full-length animated feature came out in stark contrast to the popular Disney features of the time, making it appealing to the common escapist attitude '60s counter culture. 66 SKINNIE MAGAZINE

South Park - The Hits vol. 1 Matt and Trey's Top 10 (2006)

Creators Trey Parker and matt Stone's groundbreaking series unapologetically satirize anything and everything. It is noted for making clever use of crude, construction paper cut-outs for a unique visual style. (granted, the cardboard is now replaced by flash animation). This collection of their personal favorites also features four bonus episodes and the short, “The Spirit of Christmas” which started it all.

American Pop (1981)

Another Ralph Bakshi cult classic, this one almost fell into obscurity due to the poor timing of its release. The film relies heavily on rotoscoping, though also makes use of water color, computer graphics, and archived film footage. Relying less on humor and satire, the film is the fictional tale of four generations of a Jewish Russian immigrant family and their connection to American music as it evolved form the early 1900s to modern day. In short, see it. ~ Text by Alex Mendoza and Chris Hansen ~

Waking Life (2001)

The stylized and surreal look of Richard Link-later's critically acc-laimed film involves the use of inexpensive Mac computers to create a process of digital rotoscoping referred to as “rotoshop”. The film itself centers on a young man who, over the course of the movie observes and participates in conversations with various characters regarding an array philosophical ideas ranging from existentialism, posthumanism and life in general.

Final Fantasy VII: Advent Children

The original Final Fantasy VII video game was an overwhelming critical success, popularizing electronic role-playing games in the U.S. This movie takes place two years after the events of the game. It’s not the first to use hi-tech CGI but it does make the most impeccable use of CGI from the flawless attention to detail to the subtlest of character movements. A must have for every game nerd and animation enthusiast.



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The Legend of Zelda: Twilight Princess - Nintendo Wii We all know The Wind Waker was a great title to continue the Zelda franchise, but it was not on the same level as Ocarina of Time. Well, fear not because Nintendo's newest system features the best game in the Zelda canon thus far. Armed with the same tight gameplay mechanics gamers have come to know in the series, the intuitive use of Wii's revolutionary motion-sensor controller is something you have to experience yourself. Venturing across Hyrule never grows old in Link's daring new quest, but with the Wii's controller on deck, it takes the journey to an entirely new level. Gears of War - X Box 360

It's same tired, old story in sci-fi shooters: Planet is devastated by interstellar war; Insurgents rise against the nefarious alien villains from (insert planet name here); and ultimately a lot people and stationary objects are decimated in the process. Be that as it may, if Halo made it work, then Gears of War makes it work and look good in the process. While this game serves as a crutch until Halo 3 arrives in stores, it still has a solid single-player campaign, along with the wonderful multi-player mayhem that will have players wielding chainsaws for months to come. Guitar Hero II - Playstation 2 With the unexpected and phenomenal success of Guitar Hero, Red Octane's sequel returns bigger and better than before. Featuring more than 55 songs, new venues, numerous play modes, and the ability to play lead, rhythm, and bass guitar parts as well, the sequel ups the ante on what was already a foolproof formula. Not too sure if you want to invest? Well, when you have songs like Wolfmother's Woman, Black Sabbath's War Pigs, and Primus' John the Fisherman on the list, there really is no room for debate. Happy shredding. Call of Duty 3 - Playstation 3

Whereas most World War II games focus on the frenetic nature of the D-Day landing, Call of Duty 3 takes a different route and focuses on the liberation of Paris. Focusing on the teamwork between the US, Canada, Britain, and Poland, players assume the role of all four units at some point. With beefed-up multiplayer for online play and interesting gameplay mechanics such as the ability to call strikes with a tank, or hustle and tussle with a German soldier in a cinematic button mashing fest, there is plenty of innovation to find in this overworked genre. World of Warcraft: The Burning Crusade - PC The online madness and success of Blizzard's MMORPG is something of legend, but it's nothing you haven't heard of at this point in time. With their pockets lined in cash, the developers introduce the first expansion to make significant additions to the thriving world of Azeroth. Among them are two new races: the Blood Elves and the Draenei. Along with raising the level cap from 60 to 70, new skills such as jewel crafting and another continent called Outland expand upon a world that was massive from the start. Here's to the start of another set of sleepless nights. ~ By Alex Mendoza ~



Bodog Battle of the Bands @ The Key Club, Morongo The Bouncing Souls w/ Street Dogs & Whole Wheat Bread @ HOB, San Diego Norma Jean w/ Between the Buried and Me @ HOB,Anaheim Story of the Year @ Soma, San Diego Pablo Francisco @ The Improv, Ontario

Bodog Battle of the Bands @ The Key Club, Morongo Lost Prohpets @ The Roxy, Hollywood Deftones @ Soma, San Diego Sparta @ HOB, Anaheim Pauly Shore @ The Improv, Irvine

Ski Dazzle Trade Show @ The Los Angeles Convention Center, Los Angeles Frank Black @ HOB, Anaheim

A Static Lullaby @ Soma, San Diego Daniel Tosh @ The Improv, Brea

Silverstein w/ Aiden @ HOB, Hollywood

National Bittersweet Chocolate With Almonds Day

Explosions in the Sky @ The Glass House, Pomona

Gwar w/ The Red Chord @ HOB, Hollywood

Talib Kweli @ HOB, San Diego

Pablo Francisco @ The Improv, Ontario

Story of the Year @ HOB, Anaheim

Bodog Battle of the Bands @ The Key Club, Morongo Minus the Bear @ The Glass House, Pomona

All Souls Day

Zebra Head w/ Authority Zero @ HOB, San Diego

Gwar @ The Key Club, Morongo

Bodog Battle of the Bands @ The Key Club, Morongo Jurassic 5 @ The Key Club, Morongo Maxeen @ Chain Reaction, Anaheim

The Suicide Girls @ The Key Club, Hollywood Gwar w/ The Red Chord @ HOB, San Diego

A Static Lullaby w/ I am Ghost @ The Glass House, Pomona

Bodog Battle of the Bands @ The Key Club, Morongo Sugar Cult w/ The Pink Spiders & Damone @ HOB, Hollywood Cobra Starship @ The Glass House, Pomona Spitalfield @ Chain Reaction, Anaheim

Gluttony Day

Ski Dazzle Trade Show @ The Los Angeles Convention Center, Los Angeles Aegix Launch Party @ The Viper Room, Hollywood

Pauly Shore @ The Improv, Irvine

Cypress Hill @ The Key Club, Morongo Bodog Battle of the Bands @ The Key Club, Morongo Silverstein @ HOB, Anaheim Pablo Francisco @ The Improv, Ontario

Skinnie Magazine Presents Metal Skool @ Key Club, Morongo Daniel Tosh @ The Improv, Brea

Ski Dazzle Trade Show @ The Los Angeles Convention Center, Los Angeles Tenacious D @ Gibson Amphitheatre, Universal City Walk Frank Black @ HOB, Hollywood Ozomatli @ HOB, Anaheim

Anomaly: A Ski and Snowboard Film @ The Garrison Theater, Claremont Colleges Pauly Shore @ The Improv, Irvine

The Bouncing Souls w/ Street Dogs & Whole Wheat Bread @ HOB, Hollywood Norma Jean w/ Between the Buried and Me @ Soma, San Diego Silverstein w/ Aiden @ The Glass House, Pomona

Skinnie Magazine & Club Rock It Band Battle @ The Cellar, Upland Powerman 5000 @ Viper Room, Hollywood Rise Against w/ Thursday @ The Bren Events Center, UC Irvine The Bouncing Souls @ HOB, Anaheim

Skinnie Magazine & Club RockIt Band Battle @ The Cellar, Upland Best of Both Worlds @ Soboba, San Jacinto

Skinnie Magazine & Club Rock It Band Battle @ The Cellar, Upland The Suicide Girls @ The Key Club, Morongo Ski Dazzle Trade Show @ The LA Convention Center, Los Angeles UFC 65: Bad Intentions @ Arco Arena, Sacramento

Skinnie Magazine & Club Rock It Band Battle @ The Cellar, Upland The Ramonas @ Pinky Star In-Store Sales Event, West Covina Nebula @ Viper Room, Hollywood



MONDAY Industry Night @ Sutra (Costa Mesa) 21+ DJ’s Peter G, Ronnie Goodvibes, Dante De Troya

Club Detour @ House of Blues (Anaheim) 18+ Monthly (714) 778-BLUE Monday’s Industry Night @ Jet (Mirage-Las Vegas) 21+ Locals in Free (702) 7927900

Rockstar Karaoke @ House of Blues (Las Vegas) 21+ Karaoke with Live Band (702) 632-7777

Happy Hour till Midnight @ PB Bar & Grill (Pacific Beach) 21+ $2 Bud/Bud Light $4.95 dinner special & more (858) 483-9227 Happy Monday’s@ Typhoon Saloon (Pacific Beach) 21+ Happy Hour ALL NIGHT (858) 373-3474

Tavern Two Banger @ The Tavern (Pacific Beach) 21+ Beer or Cocktail plus a shot for $2 (858) 272-6066 Raw & Exposed @ The Club (San Bernadino) 18+ Free Pool, $100 Wet Tshirt Contest, Bands, Drink Specials (909) 743-4824

Manic Mondays @ Whiskey Girl (Gaslamp-San Diego) $3 U-Call drafts & wells, DJ Marc Thrasher mixes the best of the 80's & 90's music videos. 8pmclose, 21+, no cover, (619) 2361616. $3 u-call-its, $5 domestic pitchers @ The Ville, Riverside (951) 328-1050 TUESDAY Club Mistress @ Hurricanes (Huntington Beach) 21+ Weekly Model Search, Live Surprise Acts (714) 625-8685

Taco Tuesday @ Rockin’ Taco (Fullerton) 21+ $2 Coronas, 50¢ Tacos (714) 525-8226 80’s White Trash Disco @ Blue Beet (Newport Beach) 21+ (949) 675-2338 Tuesday Nights @ Mood (Hollywood) 21+ Hip-Hop, Rock and Old School: DJ Vice

Eden @ Studio 54 (MGM Grand Las Vegas) 21+ “Erotically Delicious Entertainer’s Night” (702) 8917254

Taco Tuesday’s @ PB Bar & Grill (Pacific Beach) 21+ $2 Margaritas/Coronas & $1.50 tacos (858) 483-9227

Club Salsa @ Café Sevilla (Gaslamp-San Diego) 21+ Salsa Dance Lessons + Live Salsa Music (619) 2335979

Jazz Jam @ Thin/Onyx Room (Gaslamp-San Diego) 21+ No Cover, live jazz music (619) 231-7529

Industry Night @ The Tavern (Pacific Beach) 21+ No Cover for Industry staff with proof, $3 drinks (858) 2726066 Crosswinds @ Whiskey Girl (Gaslamp-San Diego) Southern Rock with a bit of country. DJ Famous Dave after the band. 9pm-close, 21+, no cover, (619)236-1616 Rock It @ The Cellar (Upland) 18+ $2 Domestics, Jagerbombs, wells. Booking (951) 529-4428

Service Industry Night @ Boiler Room (Redlands) 21+ $3 U-Call, Comedy 1st & 3rd of every month (909) 7928855 Bikini Tuesdays @ Twins Club (Rancho Cucamonga) 21+ No Cover $500 Bikini Contest, $2 U-Call (909) 9879322

Current Exposure @ Incahoots (Riverside) 18+ bands & Dj,s $2 long islands/$1 shots (909) 230-1892

Tuesdays w/DIRTY D FROM X103.9 @ The Club, San Bernadino 18 AND OVER, FREE POOL,$100 wet tshirt contest $2 TEQUILLA SHOTS $2 Domestics $2 wells BANDS TIL 10 (909)743-4824 $2 beers all night @ The Ville, Riverside (951) 328-1050

Club Shockra @ Level 3, Hollywood (989)-468-2362 21+ 9:30 p.m. $10 Cover, Ladies in Free before 11p.m. *beginning Sep. 20 WEDNESDAY Red Light District @ Rockin’ Taco (Downtown Fullerton) 21+ $2 beers, $12 buckets, $1 taco’s (714) 525-8226

Sutra @ Tao (Venetian-Las Vegas) 21+ Hot spot for locals! House and Hip Hop (702) 388-8338 Fusion @ Tabu-The Lounge (MGM Grand) 21+ Fusing music that makes you happy (702) 891-7183 Moonshine S.I.N. @ Tangerine (Treasure Island Las Vegas) 21+ (702) 212-8804

Club Salsa @ Café Sevilla (Gaslamp-San Diego) 21+ Salsa Dance Lessons + Live Salsa Music (619) 2335979 Metal Skool @ Typhoon Saloon (Pacific Beach) 21+ Metal Skool 80’s glam rock cover band (858) 373-3474

80’s Night @ The Tavern (Pacific Beach) Best From The 80’s Plus Drink Specials (858) 272-6066 No Cover @ Martini Ranch

(Gaslamp-San Diego) 21+ Hip Hop, Rock, Rare Grooves (619) 235-6100

Stepping Feet @ Whiskey Girl (Gaslamp-San Diego) DMB tribute band. DJ Famous Dave after band, 21+, no cover, (619)236-1616

DJ WhO? @ SAND BAR, Mission Beach 21+ HiP HoP, MashUps, Rock, $5 = DRINK + SHOT (858) 488.1274

Club One @ Tremors (Riverside) 21+ Live Bands + Hip Hop, 50 cent drafts/$1 shots Live DJ’s @ The Boiler Room (Downtown Redlands) 21+ (909) 792-8855

Corona Wednesdays @ Margarita Beach (San Bernardino) $2 Coronas ‘til Midnight. No Cover (909) 890-9993 Rollin Wednesday @ Godfathers (Chino) 21+ $2 U Call It DJ FX & George Centeno (909) 627-8080

College Night @ Brandin’ Iron (San Bernardino) 18+ drink specials all night (909) 888-7388 Club Rocks @ The Ville, Riverside $2 u-call-its. (951) 328-1050

THURSDAY Truck Shop @ Club Roc (Costa Mesa) 21+ $1 shooters, $2 beers, $3 U Call It & Live Music

Touch @ Ten Asian Ultra Lounge (Newport Beach) 21+ Touchnightclub.com for VIP/guest lists (949) 660-1010 Lyx @ Hurricanes (Huntington Beach) 21+ (714) 374-0500 College Night @ Basement Lounge (Long Beach) 21+ Every Thursday is College Night (562) 901-9090 College Night @ Saffire Nightclub (Hermosa Beach) 21+ (310) 372-9705

Worship @ Tao (Venetian-Las Vegas) 21+ (702) 388-8338 Bounce @ Light (Bellagio-Las Veas) 21+ (702) 693-4998

Dollhouse @ Studio 54 (Las Vegas) 21+ “Dollhouse” (702) 891-7254 Candy Shop @ OPM (Las Vegas) 21+ $1.25 Drinks all night (702) 369-4998 Unplugged @ House of Blues (Las Vegas) Local Bands (702) 632-7777

32 Degrees @ Belo (GaslampSan Diego) 21+ DJ Rags-Mash Up (619) 2319200

Ruby Thursday @ Side Bar (Gaslamp-San Diego) 21+ email Juergen@aproduction.net for guest list

La Jolla Thursday’s @ Excelsior (La Jolla) 21+ Dj’s Chris Cutz, Sebastian, & Barry Weaver (858) 454-8092 Live @ Typhoon Saloon (Pacific Beach) 21+ Live Local Acts (858) 3733474

Martini Madness @ The Bitter End (Gaslamp-San Diego) 21+ $6 specialty martini’s till 9pm (619) 338-9300 You Call It @ The Tavern (Pacific Beach) $3 You Call It’s ALL NIGHT! (858) 272-6066 Club Salsa @ Café Sevilla (Gaslamp-San Diego) 21+ Salsa Dance Lessons + Live Salsa Music (619) 233-5979

Da Groove @ Whiskey Girl (Gaslamp-San Diego) Rock hits. DJ Marc Thrasher after band. $3 Smirnoff flavors, 21+, no cover, (619) 236-1616

Tabu @ The Cellar (Upland) 18+ win $500 off cosmetic surgery every week (909) 946-3604 Club Salsa @ Sevilla Nightclub (Riverside) 18+ 107.1 Super Estrella Radio Salsa, Cumbia, Reggaeton (951) 778-0611 Live Band’s @ The Boiler Room (Redlands) 21+ (909) 792-8855

Infamous 50 cent draft Thurday’s @ Margarita Beach (San Bernardino) 21+ .50 drafts 8-10p, $2 ucall it shots, (909) 8909993 College Night @ Tremors (Riverside) +18 $2 Corona’s $1 Kamakazes, Sex Shots & $100 Naughty School Girl Contest

Casual Thursday’s @ Silk (Pechanga CA) 21+ Jeans Allowed, Cheap Cover, Top 40 Hip Hop $3 Thursdays @ Godfathers, Chino $ 3 Domestics $3 Vodka Rockstars $3 wells (909) 743-4824 College Night @ The Ville, Riverside 50 cent drafts 8-11p.m. (951) 328-1050

FRIDAY True Friday’s @ Club Roc (Costa Mesa) 21+ $1 shooters, $2 beers, $3 U Call It & Live Music Party @ Detroit Bar (Costa Mesa) 21+ House, Hip Hop (949) 6420600


Shine @ Sutra Lounge (Costa Mesa) Where Pin-Up & Burlesque Fantasies Come to Life

HALO @ Level 3 (Hollywood) 21 + Celebrity DJs, Fashion Shows & More (323) 461-2017

Friday Nights @ The Lobby (Hollywood) 21+ Call to get on the list (323) 974-LIST

Body Rock @ IVAR (Hollywood) 21+ Indie Rock, House, Electronic Funk (213) 321-5886 Friday’s @ Avalon Hollywood (Hollywood) 21+ DJ and Hip Hop (323) 4674571 Eye Candy @ The Stock Exchange (Los Angeles) 21+ (213) 489-3877

Club Late @ Jet (Mirage-Las Vegas) 21+ Locals in Free (702) 7927900

Thank Glaude It’s Friday @ ICE (Las Vegas) 21+ Special Guests Weekly (702) 699-9888

Flashback Fridays @ House of Blues (Las Vegas) 70’s, 80’s, 90’s Mix (702) 6327777

Posh Friday’s @ On Broadway (Gaslamp-San Diego) 21+ Strict dress code, guestlist contact guestlist@sfinxproductions.com

Fridays @ Visions (Gaslamp-San Diego) 21+ ambiance of Visions & House Music by G*Roy

Club Hustle @ House of Blues (Gaslamp-San Diego) 21+ $10 Cover, Hip Hop,Top 40 (619) 299-BLUE DJ’s @ Typhoon Saloon (Pacific Beach) 21+ Hip Hop/Dance (858) 3733474 LIT @ Aubergine (Gaslamp-San Diego) 21+ Hip House and House email: VIP@dtownproductions.com

Rocket @ Belo (Gaslamp-San Diego) 21+ rock, electronic, disco, mashups, hip hop (619) 231-9200

Only $5 Cover @ Martini Ranch (Gaslamp-San Diego) 21+ Hip Hop, Rock, Rare Grooves (619) 235-6100 Hip Hop and Reggae @ Café Sevilla (Gaslamp-San Diego) 21+ (619) 233-5979

DJ Marc Thrasher @ Whiskey Girl (Gaslamp-San Diego) Live music video mixing. 21+, (619) 236-1616

The Cartel @ The Cellar (Upland) 21+ (909) 946-3604 $2 domestics and wells all night

Party @ Godfathers (Chino) 21+ DJ’s, Drink Specials (909) 627-8080 Party all Night @ The Boiler Room (Downtown Redlands) 21+ (909) 792-8855

Club Mix @ Sevilla Night Club (Riverside) 18+ 99.1 KGGI Jesse Duran Top 40/Latin House (951) 778-0611

Ladies Night @ Silk (Pechanga CA) 21+ Free for Ladies, Dress Code, Top 40 Hip Hop; Reggae; Old School FMX FRIDAYS @ Tremors, Riverside $3 Red Bull Vodka $4 Jager Bombs

Sinn City @ The Ville, Riverside $3 Long Islands (951) 328-1050

SATURDAY Party @ Sharks Club (Costa Mesa) 21+ 2 dance floors & Drink special’s (714) 751-6428

Club Kiss @ The Boogie (Anaheim) 18+ DJ’s Jason B & Leon, plus drink specials all night (714) 9561410 Club DV8 @ Level 3 (Hollywood) 18+ KiiS FM Live on the air w/ DJ Drew & ODM (323) 4612017 Avaland @ Avalon Hollywood (Hollywood) 21+ (323) 467-4571

DJ’s @ Typhoon Saloon (Pacific Beach) 21+ Hip Hop/Dance (858) 3733474

Hip Hop and Reggae @ Café Sevilla (Gaslamp-San Diego) 21+ (619) 233-5979 DJ Marc Thrasher @ Whiskey Girl (Gaslamp-San Diego) Live music video mixing plus DJ Danimal in the Whiskey Underground. 21+, (619) 2361616.

DJ WhO? @ the W HOTEL San Diego 21+ HiP HoP, MashUps, Rock (619) 398.3051 $250 Sexy Dance Contest @ Godfathers (Chino) 21+ $100 Bead contest /$1 make your drink a double $1 (909) 627-8080

SNL @ The Cellar (Upland) 21+ $2 domestics and wells from 8-10 p.m. (909) 946-3604 Party all Night @ Boiler Room (Redlands) 21+ (909) 792-8855 Club Essence @ Sevilla Nightclub (Riverside) 18+ Super Estrella Rock en Espanol/Top 40/Reggaeton (951) 7780611

"SOUL'ed OUT Saturday Night” @ Silk (Pechanga CA) 21+ $2 Sex on the Beach, dress code

Party @ The Stock Exchange (Los Angeles) 21+ DJ, Hip Hop, House (213) 489-3877

Exposed @ The Club (San Bernadino) 18+ $200 Wet Tshirt Contest, $2 domestics until 10:30, $5 “you call its” (909) 743-4824

Club Late @ Jet (Mirage-Las Vegas) 21+ Locals in Free (702) 7927900

SUNDAY Rock n’ Roll Karaoke @ Detroit Bar (Costa Mesa) 21+ (949) 642-0600

White @ The Day After (Hollywood) 21+ McCadden & Hollywood (323) 874-LIST

Party @ OPM (Las Vegas) 21+ Hip-hop and R&B (702) 369-4998

Party and DJ @ ICE (Las Vegas) 21+ Special Guests Weekly (702) 699-9888 Party @ RA (Las Vegas) 21+ Dance and Hip-Hop (702) 262-4949

Club Boogie@ House of Blues (Las Vegas) 70’s and Crazy Disco Fever (702) 632-7777 Under the stars @ Deco (Gaslamp-San Diego) 21+ House, Hip Hop, Electroclash juergen@aproduction.net for guestlist

DJ Scooter @ Stingaree (San Diego) 21+ DJ Scooter spinning the best Hip Hop (619) 544-0867

$2 u-call-its until 10:30p.m. @ The Ville, Riverside (951) 3281050

Noche Latina @ Bikini’s Beach (Las Vegas) 21+ Two rooms of Latin music (702) 252-8429

RehabRX @ Hard Rock Hotel (Las Vegas) 21+ Hottest Pool Party on the West Coast! (800) Hard Rock Rooftop Recovery @ Stingaree 21+ Downtown San Diegos HOTTEST Party! (619) 544-9500

SunDaze @ PB Bar & Grill (Pacific Beach) 21+ $2 drafts & live Reggae (858) 272-1242 Gaslamp’s Favorite Karaoke @ Henry’s Pub (Gaslamp-San Diego) 21+ Karaoke with host Levi Strauss (619) 238-2389

Magnet Bar @ W Hotel (Gaslamp-San Diego) 21+ an enormous array of vodkas, mixers, acid jazz (619) 398.3051

DJ Danimal @ Whiskey Girl (Gaslamp-San Diego) 21+, no cover, (619)236-1616.

Battle of the Bands @ Lake Alice Trading Co. (Riverside) All Ages $8 cover, Noon8pm (951) 682 3874 Stripper Sundays @ The Cellar (Upland) 25 cent drafts, strippers get in free all night $1,500 lap dance contest (909) 946-3604 Broke Sundays @ Margarita Beach (909) 945-1644 (Rancho Cucamonga) (909)-890-9993 (San Bernardino) 21+ $2 U-Call -It ‘til Midnight. No Cover

Party @ Sevilla Nightclub (Riverside) 18+ 2 Levels of Hip Hop & Top 40 (951) 778-0611 S.I.N. Sunday’s @ Godfathers (Chino) 21+ $2 Drinks till Midnight/DJ Lunatic (909) 627-8080

During Football @ The Ville, Riverside $5 Domestic Pitchers (951) 3281050 80's Night @ Back Alley Bar & Grill (Fullerton) Sonik DJ spins the best of the 80's 21+ No Cover (714) 526-3032

Club owners and promoters, update your listings at update@ skinniemagazine.com


SKINNIE’S BAR AND CLUB DIRECTORY

ANAHEIM House of Blues 1530 S.Disneyland Dr. (714) 778-BLUE Hooters of Anaheim 2438 E.Katella Ave. (714) 634-9464 The Boogie 1721 S.Manchester Blvd. (714) 956-1410

The Catch 1929 S.State College Blvd. (714) 935-0101 The Doll Hut 107 S.Adams St. (714) 533-1286

BEVERLY HILLS Joya 242 N.Beverly Dr. (310) 274-4440

BREA Bobby McGee's 200 S.State College Blvd (714) 529-1998

BUENA PARK National Sports Bar 5970 Orangethorpe Ave. (714) 523-0803

CABAZON Key Club-Morongo 49750 Seminole Dr. (800) 252.4499 CHINO Godfathers 12570 Central Ave. (909) 627-8080 COSTA MESA Sharks Club 841 Baker St. (714) 751-6428

Sutra Lounge 1870 Harbor Blvd. #A200 (949) 722-7103 Detroit Bar 843 W.19th St. (949) 642 0600

Club Vegas 1901 Newport Blvd. (949) 548-9500 COVINA Rude Dog Bar 114 N.Citrus Ave. (626) 332-8922

The Rendezvous 570 E.San Bernardino Rd. (626) 966-6887

DIAMOND BAR Scribbles 245 Gentle Springs Rd. (909) 396-4244 FULLERTON Revolucion 1910 205 N.Harbor Blvd. (714) 871-6861 Incahoots 1401 S.Lemon St. (714) 526-8467

Chomp Rockin Sushi 181 East Commonwealth Ave. (714) 738-3511

Back Alley Bar and Grill 1161/2 W.Wilshire Ave. (714) 526-3032 The Rockin' Taco Cantina 111 Harbor Blvd. (714) 525-8226

HENDERSON,NV The Whiskey (Green Valley Ranch) 2300 Paseo Verde (702) 617-7777 HERMOSA BEACH Saffire Nightclub & Lounge 705 Pier Ave. (310) 372-9705 Aloha Sharkeez 52 Pier Ave. (310) 374-7823

Underground Pub & Grill 1334 Hermosa Ave. (310) 318-3818 HOLLYWOOD Whiskey A-Go-Go 8901 Sunset Blvd. (310) 652-4202

Belly 7929 Santa Monica Blvd. (310) 754-9008 The Key Club 9039 Sunset Blvd. (310) 274-5800 The Roxy 9009 Sunset Blvd. (310) 276-2222

Rainbow Bar & Grill 9015 Sunset Blvd. (310) 278-4232 Viper Room 8852 Sunset Blvd. (323) 358-1881 Shelter 8117 Sunset Blvd. (323) 280-0353

RokBar 1710 N.Las Palmas Ave. (323) 461-5600

XES 1716 Cahuenga Blvd. (323) 280-0353

The Highlands 6801 Hollywood Blvd. (323) 461-9850 Avalon 1735 Vine St. (323) 467-4571

The Sunset Room 1430 Cahuenga Blvd. (323) 463-0004 Element 1642 Las Palmas Ave. (323) 460-4632

The Day After Nightclub 6757 Hollywood Blvd (323) 874-LIST

HUNTINGTON BEACH Duke's 317 Pacific Coast Hwy (714) 374-6446 Hurricanes 200 N.Main St. (714) 374-0500

Liquid Lounge 7887 Central Ave. (714) 892-0294

Atlanta Lounge 21022 Brookhurst St. (714) 968-9800 Liquid Den 5061 Warner Ave. (714) 377-7964

LAKE ELSINORE Bikini Beach Club 31502 Riverside Dr. (951) 471-0111

LAKE FOREST Diablo's Rockin' Cantina 23600 Rockfield Blvd. (949) 768-1500 LAKEWOOD The Hop 5201 Clark Ave. (562) 630-2229 LA JOLLA Excelsior 1025 Prospect St. (858) 454-8092

LAS VEGAS-NV Skin Pool Lounge (Palms) 4321 W Flamingo Rd (702) 942-7546

Pure (Caesars Palace) 3570 S.Las Vegas Blvd (702) 735-8323 Body English (Hard Rock Hotel) 4455 Paradise Rd. (702) 693-4000

Tangerine Lounge (Treasure Island) 3300 S.Las Vegas Blvd. (702) 894-7111

Ivan Kane's Forty Deuce (Mandalay Bay) 3930 S.Las Vegas Blvd. (702) 632-9442 Risque (Paris) 3655 S.Las Vegas Blvd. (702) 949-4589 Curve (Aladdin) 3667 Las Vegas Blvd. (702) 290-9582

V Bar (Venetian) 3355 S.Las Vegas Blvd. (702) 414-3200

The Foundation Room (Mandalay Bay) 3950 Las Vegas Blvd. (702) 632-7600 Tabu (MGM Grand) 3799 S.Las Vegas Blvd. (702) 891-7183

Rain/Ghost Bar (Palms Hotel & Casino) 4321 W.Flamingo Rd. (702) 992-7970 House of Blues (Mandalay Bay) 3950 S.Las Vegas Blvd. (702) 992-7970

The Beach (Rio Hotel) 365 Convention Center Dr. (702) 992-7970 Studio 54 (MGM Grand) 3799 S.Las Vegas Blvd. (702) 992-7970 Vivid (Venetian) 3355 S.Las Vegas Blvd. (702) 987-2222

La Bete (Wynn) 3131 S.Las Vegas Blvd. (702) 770-3375 Jillians 450 Freemont St (702) 759-0450

VooDoo Lounge (Rio) 3700 W.Flamingo Rd. (702) 492-3960 Coyote Ugly (New York-NewYork) 3790 S.Las Vegas Blvd. (702) 992-7970 RA (Luxor) 3900 Las Vegas Blvd. (702) 731-1995 Light (Bellagio) 3600 S.Las Vegas Blvd. (702) 693-3830 Mix (Mandalay Bay) 3950 S.Las Vegas Blvd. (702) 632-9500 Club Rio (Rio) 3700 W.Flamingo Rd. (702) 777-7777 Ice / Meta-Club 5175 West Diablo St. (702) 699-9888

OPM (Casers Palace) 3500 S.Las Vegas Blvd. (702) 369-4998

Bikinis (Rio) 3700 W.Flamingo Road (702) 252-8429 Rumjungle (Mandalay Bay) 3950 S.Las Vegas Blvd. (702) 632-7777 LONG BEACH Sevillas 140 Pine Ave (562) 495-1111 Vault 350 350 Pine Ave (562) 590-5566 Lava Lounge 3800 East PCH (562) 597-6171

V2O,The Venue 81 Aquarium Way (866) 402-5828 Hooters of Long Beach 130 Pine Ave. (562) 983-1010 Basement Lounge 149 Linden Ave. (562) 901-9090 Hush 217 Pine Ave. (562) 495-3473 LOS ANGELES Club Ice 3575 N.Cahuenga Blvd. (714) 441-CLUB (2582) The Prey 643 La Cienega Blvd. (310) 652-2012 The Parlour Club 7702 Santa Monica Blvd. (323) 650-7968

The Stock Exchange 618 S.Spring St. (213) 489-3877 MISSION BEACH Canes 3105 Ocean Front Walk (858) 488-1780

NEWPORT BEACH Tapas 4253 Martingale Way (949) 756-8194 Blue Beet 107 21st Pl. (949) 675-2338

Hooters of Newport Beach 2406 Newport Blvd. (949) 566-9464

Ten Asian Ultra Lounge and Sushi 4647 Mac Arthur Blvd. (949) 660-1010 Detroit Bar 843 W.19th St. (949) 642-0600

ONTARIO Ontario Improv 4555 Mills Cir. (909) 484-5411

Hooters of Ontario 725 N.Milliken Ave. (909) 989-2209

ORANGE Quan's Rockin Sushi 1107 Tustin Ave. (714) 522-6311 National Sports Bar 150 North State College (714) 935-0300

The District Lounge 223 W Chapman Ave. (714) 639-7777

PACIFIC BEACH PB Bar & Grill 860 Garnet Ave. (858)483-9227 Blind Melons 710 Garnet Ave. (858) 483-9227 Moondoggies 832 Garnet Ave. (858) 483.6550

Tavern At The Beach 1200 Garnet Ave. (858) 272-6066 Typhoon Saloon 1165 Garnet Ave. (858) 373-3444

PASADENA Club 54 45 E.Colorado Blvd. (626) 793-0608

E's Martini Lounge 115 E.Colorado Blvd. (626) 793-6544

Hooters of Pasadena 96-98 E.Colorado Blvd. (626) 395-7700 Mc Murphy's Restaurant 72 N.Fair Oaks Ave. (626) 666-1445 35er 12 East Colorado Blvd. (626) 356-9315 POMONA The Glass House 200 West 2nd St. (909) 592-1078 Scoreboards 3220 W.Temple Ave. (909) 468-0444 RANCHO CUCAMONGA Margarita Beach 9950 S.Foothill Blvd (909) 945-1644 Twins Club 10134 Foothill Blvd. (909) 987-9322 REDLANDS The Boiler Room 345 N.Fifth St. (909) 792-8855 RIVERSIDE Tremors 1329 University Ave 951-683-3060

Sevilla Nightclub 3252 Mission Inn Ave. (951) 778-0311 Incahoots 3742 Park Sierra Dr. (951) 359-4800 Babylon 4085 Vine St. (951) 784 3033

The Vibe 1805 University Ave. (951) 788-0310

Lake Alice Trading Co. 3616 University Ave. (951) 686-7343 SAN BERNARDINO Margarita Beach 1987 S.Diners Ct. (909) 890-9993 Brandin' Iron 320 S.“E”St. (909) 888-7388

SAN DIEGO House of Blues 1055 5th Ave. (619) 299-BLUE 4th & B 345 B St. (619) 231-2131

Air Conditioned 4673 30th St. (619) 501-9831 Airport Lounge 2400 India St. (619) 685-3881 Altitude 660 K St. (619) 446-6088 Aubergine 500 4th Ave.. (619) 232-8100 Bitter End 770 5th St. (619) 338-9300 Belo 919 4th Ave. (619) 231-9200 Café Sevilla 555 4th Street (619) 233-5979

The Comedy Store 916 Pearl St. (858) 454-9176 Confidential 901 4th Street (619) 696-8888 Deco 731 5th Ave. (619) 696-3326

Hard Rock Café 801 4th Ave. (619) 615-7625 Henry's Pub 614 5th Ave. (619) 238-2389

The Local 1055 North Ave. (619) 231-4447 Luna Lounge 639 J St. (619) 702-7700 Martini Ranch 528 F Street (619) 235-6100 On Broadway 615 Broadway (619) 231-0011

Thin/Onyx Room 852 5th Street (619) 235-6699 Rama 327 Fourth Ave. (619) 501-Thai Red Circle Café 420 E Street (619) 234-9211 Sidebar 536 Market St. (619) 696-0946 Stingaree 454 6th Ave. (619) 544-0867

Whiskey Girl 600 5th Ave. (619) 236-1616

SANTA MONICA Zanzibar 1301 5th St. (310) 451-2221 TEMECULA Silk @ Pechanga 45000 Pechanga Parkway (888)-PECHANGA Q Club 27911 Jefferson Ave. (951) 699-0088 TORRANCE National Sports Bar 3210 W.Sepulveda Blvd. (310) 534-3700 UPLAND The Cellar 195 N.Central Ave. (909) 946-3604 Oasis Nightclub 1386 E.Foothill Blvd (909) 920-9590 VICTORVILLE Coconuts 12152 Cottonwood Ave. (760) 955-160 Sand Bar 13728 Hesperia Rd. (760) 243-4263



and John Gilhooley

Las Vegas

Studio 54

Jet

Rainbow Bar & Grill Jet

Pure Tao

Tao

Studio 54


KROQ Inland Invasion @ The Hyundai Pavilion, Glen Helen

Opting for the heavier edge that so many fans love and enjoy, KROQ's concer t was a crowd pleaser for people who like their music gritty and tough. With the number of all day hard rock concer ts dwindling as of late, the Inland Invasion proved to be a breath of fresh air with its more intense lineup. The day's festivities included energetic performances by Avenged Sevenfold, Rise Against, Papa Roach, 30 Seconds to Mars, Muse and Buckcherr y, among others, each band giving a taste of new material mixed with seasoned hits. After stellar performances by some of today's hit KROQ bands, expectations were high for the re-emergence of Alice in Chains and Guns n' Roses and the seminal bands did not disappoint, despite many rumors that Axl Rose would be a no-show. Alice in Chains set the bar high with a memorable showing that brought their classic tunes to life with a new fer vor and a surprise guest appearance by Linkin Park front man Chester Bennington spiced up Jerr y Cantrell and crew's already crowd-moving performance. Guns n' Roses capped off the night with an energetic display of showmanship, but the almost hour-long delay before the band took the stage ensured that not ever yone was still around to see it. If KROQ sticks to the same formula of hard-hitting bands and big name draws, you can be sure that the Inland Invasion will be a show not to miss come next year. - By Eric Bonholtzer, images courtesy of Kevin Estrada


Orange County

tentations

Sutra

Bamboozle Left @ Cal Poly Pomona

Chronic Cantina

The Bamboozle is a fairly huge festival in New Jersey. Deciding to see how said event would fair here on the West Coast, promoter John D'Esposito brought his popular festival to Cal Poly Pomona and distinguished it from its East Coast counterpart by naming it “Bamboozle Left�. With popular acts such as 30 Seconds to Mars, Dashboard Confessional,Yellowcard and Thrice headlining the bill in addition to a ridiculous number of other acts, it's no surprise that Bamboozle Left made its presence felt in the West Coast. Oddly, in spite of the fact that the line up consisted of mostly pop-punk, emo and hardcore bands, it seemed to be the hip hop and more dance oriented rock acts that stole the show. Case in point, Cobra Starship kept the crowd moving with a very high octane set. Naturally, the Gym Class Heroes came to set the pace and definitely kept the audience entranced. L.A. based hip hop artist Murs pretty much owned the place with a set that established him as a solid live performer. Of interesting note, Jack's Mannequin made the show a truly special event in that Andrew McMahon (who was supposed to play a set with Travis Barker but couldn't due to Barker's broken arm) played an extended set that culminated into a reunion of his band Something Corporate. This is the first time the quintet has played together in two years and for the fans this was a very unexpected yet pleasant surprise. Let's see what surprises will be in store if Bamboozle Left comes around again next year. - By Dirk Diggler, images courtesy of Christina Prieto

Chronic Cantina

Club ROC



San Diego

belo

stingaree

pb bar

belo

Pepper & Slightly Stoopid @ The Grove

What do you get when Jagermeister heads up a tour with two of the most prominent rock n' reggae touring bands in the US?? A kick ass, sold out show with super hot girls getting wet and drinking lots of Jager. The energy between these two bands created such a killer vibe that even people who normally don't get their groove on were shaking it like they were in a Beyonce video. It was also a top-notch people-watching event to say the least. This was the first stop of 39 on a nationwide tour with these brotherly bands. “I did a heavy liver cleanse pre-tour in preparation for this bad gir l,” remar ked Pepper dr ummer Yesod Williams. “Ever yone prepare for priceless memories, I've got about a hundred from last night and that was the first show!” Miles Doughty, who handles guitars, bass and vocals for Slightly Stoopid, also comments on his enthusiasm for the tour. “We're stoked to go on a tour that isn't funded and profited by major music companies. We're pulling this off without them and selling out the shows!” Remember, if you missed this one, they'll be heading back around to LA and San Diego in early December. Both bands are out to promote their new CDs, Pepper's No Shame and Slightly Stoopid's Live 05/06 Double CD, which are available online and in music stores ever ywhere. For more info check out jagermeistermusictour.com

- By Kevin Ashford, images courtesy of Joanna Tichauer

typhoon



Inland Empire

the cellar

margarita beach

TRAVIS BARKER & DJ AM @ The GROVE

godfathers

Key Club Morongo

the cellar

The air was crisp and cool in Anaheim, on the first Monday of October, as the OC's elite filed into the Grove of Anaheim. Walking into the gates one first noticed the wicked styles of a break dancing crew showing off their skills while the patio DJ spun a variety of hip hop. Once inside the classy venue the real show began. First with DJ Coolwhip spinning a variety of tunes ranging from Nir vana's “Smells like teen spirit” and Michael Jackson's “Billy Jean” and moving later to mixing both '80s new wave with more modern hip hop. Later he was joined by MTV's Boogie who attempted to motivate the crowd, as well as a few lovely go-go dancers teasing the sex-hungr y audience. After a set lasting nearly two hours, DJ AM and Travis Barker entered the stage around midnight and immediately attracted the interest of all. The former Crazytown DJ was quite impressive showing his extensive and well executed scratching skills mixing songs like Notorious B.I.G.'s “Hypnotize” and Beastie Boys “No sleep till Brooklyn” while Travis' amazing technical percussion skills accented them perfectly. The guys were more than I expected and proved why they are a potent and popular duo. It was a unique event, especially after the recent announcement that Travis has cancelled his Oct. 7 date with AM as well as the rest of his appearances with his rock band +44 after the recent discover y of a broken arm. - By Alan Weiler, images courtesy of Tiffany Harned

godfathers



Los Angeles

Level 3

Level 3

Sevillas, Long Beach Sevillas, Long Beach

Level 3

Level 3





HORRIBLE SCOPES

- As predicted by the vile sage, Victor “Shut the Hell Up” Hussar

Scorpio I love being psychic. I can predict everything with 100% accuracy: This month, you will drive your banged-up, beaten-up, ugly-looking car to a job you hate for wages that are pathetic and be bored and sad at the same time. You will go home to the rat-hole apartment you can barely afford and eat cheap fast food that will give you cancer. You will also get to watch your annoying girlfriend get fatter and fatter, which will fill you with a sense of dread. You did this last month, and the month before that, and the month before that…

Sagittarius With so many planets riding high in your solarscope, you will find yourself constantly surrounded by people. Family members you can't stand will invite you to lame get-togethers, Hell's Angels bikers will beat you down and boot-stomp you, and Hari Krishnas will mob up on your ass begging for change and playing those annoying bongos. Expect the occasional curbie from college jocks, as well. Capricorn The Sun,Venus and Mars will all be highly active in your career zone, this month. Too bad you lost your job! Hey, how many times do people have to tell you to stay off the porn sites while you are using the company computer? They keep track of that %$#@!, you know. While your unemployed, it looks like your career is going to be “bum.” Aquarius Stay indoors, every deity has it out for you this month. Jesus, Buddha, Allah... all of ‘em.

Pisces Jupiter will be working for you this month, filling you with an increased sense of confidence. Of course, no one else will notice or care about why you are so full of yourself and will work hard to smack you down and put you in your place, whether it's just the occasional insult, or the women you already know doing their best to not date you. Of course, you should be used to that. Aries You will be meeting a lot of new and interesting people this month. Why? Because I'm frikkin' psychic and I know everything, that's why. With the planet Mercury filling you with alacrity, you will be arrested for speeding and thrown in jail, so expect to meet Mr. Cop, Mr. Tow Truck Driver (he'll be impounding your car), Mr. Bail Bondsman, Mr. Bailiff, Mr. Judge, etc. Next time, don't be in such a hurry to hit up the porn store for your midget porn. They are open 24 hours, you know.

Taurus Your sign is the bull, so expect to feel horny this month. Ha, ha, ha! Bulls! Horns! Get it? Hey, I don't care if you laughed or not so as long as I find humor in it, I'm happy. In fact, if I can laugh at your sad expense that makes me happier. The more miserable you are, the more fun people tend to have. You have that effect on everyone around you. Did you know that?

Gemini I will be brief with you since I don’t like talking to you:Yes, it’s contageous, and yes, it will fall off this month unless you seek treatment now.

Cancer This month you will get cancer of the taint. Since you can't afford medical insurance at $150 a month like most Americans, expect to be in a lot of pain and suffering. Hey, at least a bottle of Tylenol costs $3.50, a bottle of Whiskey costs $17, and a 12-gauge shotgun costs $400, since you can't afford the expensive chemotherapy that would make you bald, weak, poor and nauseous before you died. Leo Expect to be extra-lazy this month. I know that's hard to consider, since you are always lazy but you are really going to be unable to get off the couch this month. How can you? There's so much TV to watch! You got “CSI” and “SVU” and all of those reality-themed TV shows… there's no possible way you could attend college or get a job. Surrender. Give up… actually, you gave up a long time ago, didn't you? Virgo You’re in the clear this month. How boring.

Libra This month you will be selfish, assertive, abrupt, rude and impolite, which means girls with IQ's in the single-digits will date you like you were made of chocolate and drove a Bentley. Sure, you may be a swaggering jerk, but all of the stupid women like that, so it's your month. Of course, all of the intelligent women working on their college degrees will avoid you like AIDS, but that's the trade-off you must accept. Don't worry, you'll probably be too self-centered to notice that your childish behavior disgusts chicks who know better.














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