What do Boys think?

Teen girls want to understand the mind of a teen boy from their own voices. We exist in the same spaces—at home, at school, at events, at malls, online… but our experiences are different. Just like girls, boys are not all the same. Boys also behave differently, you might be out here wondering how guys feel about certain situations, why they do certain things, or what they like. We wanted to hear from different boys their thoughts and opinions on certain things, especially those that affect us girls. We asked SKY girls online to send us questions for boys to answer. Some boys opted to be anonymous *wink*, here’s what they had to say:

Do looks really matter?

Batho - The way I see it, looks matter just as much as personality. If I'm not as attracted to you physically as I am mentally then it just won't work romantically.

Agi, (19)- Looks do matter.

Boy 1 - Yes, looks do matter a lot because they play a vital role in attracting a boy. However, preference on looks varies from boy to boy therefore what one finds attractive, the other might not and vice versa.

Would you choose an Arsenal match over a Valentine’s date on February 14?

Ezra, (17) - No, I won't. What matters is those little euphoric moments that you spent with your partner.

Nicky (17) - Personally, I am more into playing than watching football, therefore my answer would automatically be no.

What is it like being a boy?

Batho - Being a boy has its difficulties... There's a lot more external pressure than most people realize. But for the most part it's bearable.

Boy 1 - Well there are pros and cons. Being a boy is cool and all as compared to a girl because we don’t go through menstruation and pregnancy. At the same time being a boy can be difficult, there are hardships we go through because of toxic masculinity.

How do you handle many other girls without us noticing?

Nicky, (17) - I might get into trouble for this but 'if you provide a woman with everything she needs then you do not give her reason to doubt you or your loyalty' the moment you start lacking is when she starts questioning everything.

Boy 1 - Personally it’s one girl all the way.

Do you think girls can be smarter, stronger, braver, or more successful than boys?

Nicky ,(17) - Yes, it is very possible, many women have proved this on a lot of different occasions.

Batho - I don't think gender has anything to do with what you're capable of as a person. It's up to what standards you set for yourself. Girls can be just as smart or strong as guys if they wanted to.

How come boys don’t seem to need reassurance?

Ezra, (17) - Iyoo it’s a tough one, in the sense that we carry the burden of being “the man”, and we must meet societal expectations. Kana ka Setswana the man is the breadwinner sooo.

Boy 1 - We are used to bottling up our problems and dealing with them ourselves.

How do you manage to stay calm in certain circumstances?

Batho - How do I stay calm? Now that you mention it, I don't really know. I find it easier to just keep quiet and talk myself out of whatever stressful situation I'm in.

Boy 1 - I put everything in God’s hands, so I’m always calm when faced with certain situations.

Why do boys make fun of other boys enjoying “girly” things?

Batho - I’d like to think it's because of how we were raised traditionally and society's failure to move from that traditional upbringing of young men.

Nicky, (17) - Boys thrive on ego and pride and sometimes that pride is in the form of masculinity. The moment you show signs of femininity they will relate you to the same energy even if you aren't gay.

As a boy, what do you think boys can do to help lower the rates of sexual harassment and sexual assaults happening among us teens?

Nicky ,(17) - I think it would help if boys improved in their discipline and self-control. Dear men and boys, please control your sexual urges.

Powell, (17) - If boys stood up for girls and didn’t entertain guys when they did such things, this would reduce these rates.

Boy 1 - We should always protect girls when we see other guys being aggressive towards them.

What are boys' long term goals in life?

Powell, (17) - Making money and making sure our mothers are taken care of.

Boy 1 - Be stable, that is have money, a place you can call home and a woman who can treat you right.

Powell, 17

Batho, 19

Why do boys like aggressive handshakes and all that?

Boy 1 - It's a show of our masculinity and also empowers us. Boy 2 - Lol, we are “aggressive” in nature, I guess.

Boy 3 - Sign of strength, high testosterone, and dominance.

Why do you think boys like breaking girl’s hearts?

Boy 1 - I don’t think we like it, it’s just unavoidable, as much as you want to do right by someone and treat them right, eventually somewhere down the line you unintentionally hurt them.

Boy 2 - We don't necessarily like breaking girls’ hearts. We just end up doing things to impress our boys which results in a heartbreak.

Why do boys hide their emotions?

Agi, (19) - Afraid of being judged and getting comments like “man up” or (don’t be a baby).

Nicky, (17) - Like I mentioned earlier, you must endure whatever you go through, and even though some may think that this is "toxic masculinity" it really is just reality, as emotions can be taken as weakness. Men can't show weakness because women don't find that attractive.

Boy 1 - We were taught by society that boys don’t show emotions and if you do it’s a sign of weakness, also men’s feelings aren’t taken seriously.

What do you think is the reason why boys keep acting like they like a girl and date her even when they don't?

Katlo, (16) - So that they will be seen to be dating the prettiest girls around. Basically ke clout.

Boy 1 - I wouldn't date a girl I don't like. But I think gore the other boys do so to prove a point ko majiteng.

What do you look for in a girl—face, body, or personality?

Boy 1 - Personality.

Boy 2 - All the above but a little bit more personality.

How do you think we can end the gender wars between males and females for us all to be loving, kind and respectful to one another?

Leatile, (19) - we should stop saying negative things about the other gender on social media because that just adds fuel to the fire.

Agi,

17

Katlo, (16) - I think gender wars can be ended by educating young people on how males and females are equal in this generation.

How many female besties do you have?

Boy 1 - 1. Boy 2 - 3.

Boy 3 - I don't have any, but I do have female friends and I don't think there is really a difference between female besties and female friends.

What are your thoughts on GBV among teens and among adults?

Nicky, (17) - I think it's sad how this has become the new pandemic and at the rate this is happening, it really deserves more attention.

Katlo, (16) - I believe it’s time for nations to take a stand and create effective campaigns which will help educate young people on GBV and laws that include imprisonment.

Boy 1 - It’s something that needs to stop because it has a huge effect on people’s anxiety and causes a lot of traumas.

Why are boys not nice to girls they don’t find attractive?

Leatile, (19) - This is because they don’t feel the need to be nice or entertain girls they aren't willing to pursue which is wrong.

Nicky, (17) - I genuinely do not know, and I cannot speak for the whole gender demographic, but I think sometimes it is to make sure they don't give off the wrong signs.

Boy 1 - It’s the same with girls. They are not of interest.

What do you expect from a girlfriend?

Agi, (19) - Love, honesty, loyalty, trust, care, and a bright future (not those girls who think about drinking 24/7).

Nicky, (17) - I expect her to be selfless, reasonable, obsessive, understanding, self-respecting, virtuous, responsible, patient, ambitious, loving , smart , socially aware, compassionate, trustworthy, genuine, open minded , social, nurturing, to be in touch with her feminine energy and is equally romantic and lustful.

Powell, (17) - Love, loyalty, and marriage.