SEPTEMBER 2014
How to prevent bullying
Make-up For working mums
The danger of Labelling our children
Women in business: the super-achievers Your Free online Parenting magazine
Contents September 2014
Regulars 5 Letter from the Editor 11 Monthly recipe - Nut free pesto 12 Ask a professional - questions from readers 13 Did you know? 17 Make a change 18 Your Story - Mother’s Intuition 20 Mum’s & the City 21 Something Extra 27 Kids fun 28 Community Noticeboard
Articles 6 10 steps to prevent bullying for your child 8 Top reasons to use cloth 14 Labelling your children 26 My 2014 money challenge
Special Features 22 Women in business 24 Make-up for working mums
Letter from the Editor Dear reader, With spring in the air Small Steps is bringing about some very exciting changes. Over the next few months you will be able to look forward to two brand new regular sections in the magazine and an ever growing online community. We will be creating a more interactive magazine allowing for you to share your comments and concerns with us via our social networks or our website. I would encourage you to join us and share your thoughts on our articles and blogs and share your stories as we build this community. Thank you again for supporting us as we continue to bring you this free publication. Kindly,
Julie-Anne England
Small Steps Parenting Magazine www.smallstepsparenting.com www.facebook.com/smallstepsparenting
10 steps to prevent bullying for your child Bullying occurs all around us; as a child in the schoolyard, as a teenager in the Cyberworld and even as an adult in the workplace! As a society we need to raise awareness around bullying, as the effects on both the victim and bully can last a lifetime. I am passionate about helping other families to feel empowered over bullying. I experienced bullying in my school years and for many years after the bullying occurred I suffered from feelings of low selfworth and feelings of not being good enough. I believe that no child or adult should experience bullying or live from the longterm effects of bullying like I did.
they are comfortable with talking to you about what is really going on at school and on social media.
4. Resilience: encourage resilience in your children, modelling and talking them These 10 simple steps will help you to take through how they can ‘bounce back’ from your power back and prevent bullying in difficult times, setbacks, and other signifiyour child (as either a bully or victim of cant challenges. bullying): 5. Attention: give your child quality one 1. Deal with your personal issues: it is on one attention. This is important to help important to get Mum feeling confident your child feel valued and worthy or your and in control of her life first, which will time and love. By helping your child to feel then flow down to her children. The more valued in the home environment will rewe can look within and work on our own duce the chances of them going outside the stuff the less we will feel the need to put home environment for validation. others down to make ourselves feel better. 6. Accept your child for who they are: 2. Create empathy: model and teach your love and accept your child as they are right children to be empathetic and how to recnow. If we can accept our children and ognize emotions that are being experienced show this to them though love and feeling by those around them. Be understanding proud of them. and empathetic towards your children for 7. Do not label your children: do not give what they are going through. your children labels, like shy, rude, 3. Communication: keep the lines of com- naughty or terrible. This will on reinforce munication open with your children, so
the behavior that you are trying to avoid. If you call someone a name long enough, then that is what they will believe within themselves.
The most important thing for children who are either experiencing bullying or who are bullying is to look within and underneath to see what is happening for 8. Discipline your child with love: disci- them inside emotionally. When we are pline your child from a place of love, not able to address these internal fears, anxieform a place of anger and frustration. It is ties or sadness then their external behaviours will start to match their internal important to teach children how to deal feelings. When you only deal with the with their own anger through modelling external bullying it has a short-term efappropriate anger management within fect, to make the changes long lasting we ourselves. need to deal with the internal emotions 9. Teach your children how to be sothat are causing the bullying. cial: model and teach your children to be Start today to implement these steps into social through your own social relationships. Children learn through our example your life. Remembering to talk and acknowledge what is going on with your and need to know how to treat people child and see it through their eyes. socially. 10. Encourage your children to be independent: by encouraging your children to be independent, we are putting our trust in them and saying that we think they are responsible enough and mature enough to cope with a given task.
Written by Debbie Rossi, speaker, kinesiologist, mother of four and author of the book “Beyond the schoolyard—End the bullying forever.”
McGraths Hill Children’s Centre Inc
Open 6.30am-6.30pm From birth to 6 years Nutritious meals daily Community based Not for profit centre Preschool transition programs 69 Andrew Thompson Dr, McGraths Hill Ph: 4587 7141 or email: mhcc@westnet.com.au
Top reasons to use cloth Let’s face it, we all know cloth is better for the environment. But did you know there are MANY other reasons that more and more parents are choosing modern cloth nappies (let’s call them MCN’s) today? Here are a few reasons why parents are considering cloth for their baby. I am sure you will find out a whole lot more!
majority of babies in cloth tend to have less nappy rash as MCN’s are more breathable and have none of the harmful chemicals or bleaches found in disposables. The gel that is used in disposables to absorb and hold in moisture is known as Sodium Polyacrylate. This substance has been found in the urinary tract of babies and may cause severe nappy rash, chemical burns, and bleeding in the perineum and scrotal tissue.
1. MCN’s have come a long way, baby!! Chances are you wouldn’t even recognize them today. Cloth nappies have evolved to such an extent over the last ten years that many rival disposables any day. In fact, if you were to put a pocket cloth nappy next to a disposable, you would find very little difference in bulk, size and function.
4. MCN’s are more reliable and less messy than disposables! Yes, we are talking about leaks! With a correctly fitted MCN the majority of mums experience less leaking than using disposables.
2. MCN’s are more economical! Disposable nappies become very expensive when you consider your child will be in them for 2-3years. They can only be used once and are then tossed away. They cannot be used for a second (or subsequent) child. You can wrap your bubbas butt in MCN’s for 3 years for as little as $400!! That’s a savings of $2500 (considering the average family spends $2800-3000 in disposables over 3 years) for one child. Due to their excellent resale value, you may be able to get as much as half of the money spent on cloth nappies back on an auction site. Try doing that with your used disposables! 3. Babies are healthier in MCN’s Disposables contain many chemicals, poisons (TBT tributyl tin), dioxins (which are highly carcinogenic) and even perfumes and dyes that are all harmful to your baby and lead to nappy rash. The 8
Did you know it takes around 500 years to break down one disposable nappy? So every disposable nappy ever used is STILL in landfill today! New, modern cloth nappies and covers are so customizable that you have the ability to get a perfect fit on your baby each and every time. Think you will have too much washing to do using cloth? I guarantee it’s no more (maybe even less!) than with disposables. It's a little known secret that the “blow-outs” that occur from leaky solids are actually contained better in cloth. Disposables have a slippery surface to them which causes a "slip and slide" effect with messy, leaky solids. It's not pretty! The textured fabric that MCN’s are constructed of provides the perfect surface for leaky messes to cling to.
more time to change your baby and pop on a load of washing than it does to change your baby, get baby dressed to go out, fasten baby in car seat, get pram out of car, take baby out of car seat, fasten baby into pram, go into the mall, weave through the aisle to get to the disposable aisle...wait a minute? This seems like way more work to me! 7. Babies look adorable in cloth! Cloth nappies are a modern baby's fashion statement! And modern mums love to shop for cloth nappies. Have you ever noticed how professional photographers use MCN’s on their baby models? Cloth just looks better on babies. There are so many choices in cloth nappies today. With all the styles and colors, babies look adorable in cloth! Show your little one off in a soft, comfy, adorable clothy bum!
5. Cloth is more comfortable!
8. Toilet Training is easier!
Would you like to wear paper underwear all day? Why would you think your baby thinks any differently? Soft bamboo next to a babies tender skin is much more comfortable than paper and plastic.
It is a little known fact that children in cloth nappies potty train earlier and with less effort on the part of the parent. Again, cloth nappies are saving our families time! As children are actually aware of the sensation of urinating, the average child that is in cloth nappies typically potty trains faster than their disposable friends.
6. It is quick and EASY!
Yes, we said easy! The concept of convenWritten by Natalie Tobin, mum of two and ience is a marketing ploy that disposable manufacturers use. They don't what you to owner of Bubeez Modern Cloth Nappies. know how easy it is to use cloth! It takes no www.bubeez.com.au info@bubeez.com.au www.bubeez.com.au
Affordable designs Hemp & bamboo inserts
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Saving baby’s butts since ages ago!
Newborn to toddler Easiest style of cloth nappies
Combos Slides Obstacle Castles Slushie Machines Phone: (02) 4571 1240 or 0402 100 681 Email: tomcatjim1@bigpond.com Birthdays/Corporate Events/Preschools/Fetes/Christmas/New Years
Monthly Recipe
Nut Free Pesto Serves: 4 Ingredients 1 Bunch of basil 1 hand full of baby spinach leaves 1 400g tin of chickpeas (reserve the liquid) 1 clove of garlic Juice of half a lemon ⅓ cup tablespoons rice bran oil 100g fresh parmesan cheese (block not grated) Salt and Pepper to taste
There is nothing like the smell of fresh basil and it is so easy to grow in any garden or balcony pot! This fresh pesto is perfect as a dip or stirred through pasta Instructions Place the basil leaves & spinach in a blender/food processor, add peeled garlic, chickpeas, lemon juice and oil. Blend until your desired consistency - some people like it really smooth, others love it chunky If too thick, use some of the reserved chickpea juice to thin to your preferred consistency Mix in parmesan cheese and add salt and pepper to taste. Optional Extra's Stir through fresh cooked pasta, add chicken and top with fresh grated parmesan Lots of Kids love pesto through scrambled eggs to make green eggs and ham! If you have no nut allergies in your family, you can use toasted pinenuts or cashews instead of the chickpeas
This recipe comes from Get Kids Cooking. For more healthy recipes check out their website www.getkidscooking.com.au 11
Ask a Professional QUESTION: I would love some information on exercising after a caesarean section. I hve just had my third baby 15 weeks ago and for the first time ended up with an emergency csection after a 16 hour labour. I have been struggling a lot with back pain and have zero stomach strength to even sit up. I need help with doing exercises to strengthen my core/ stomach area. Laura. your lower back during pregnancy and these are the very first muscles that should be addressed to begin strengthening your core.
Dear Laura, Firstly, congratulations upon your latest addition to the family! There are a few things to consider: 1. Have you had your post -delivery check up with your GP / OBS? Very often mums get their bubs checked out but become too busy with making sure all the family is ok, to get their own check up! If you have not had one, please proceed to get one before commencing any exercise.
After taking the above into consideration, and gained your relevant check ups, my suggestion would be to either find a Personal Trainer qualified in post natal fitness or join a group class for post natal women (ie Mums and Bubs class), preferably based on Pilates.
To commence strengthening your core to support your lower back, you will need to 2. If you have had a check up, were your work on your transverse abdominals (sides), abdominals checked for separation pelvic floor, glutes (butt) and hip action. (diastsis rectus). If you have a separation, Here are 3 sample exercises: then no amount of crunches will help‌in fact it will create more problems! So Transverse Abdominal Draw In please get this checked by a health professional or trained PT before you com- Lie on the floor / bed on your tummy, face down with your forehead placed on your mence any exercise. folded hands with legs outstretched. Lift 3. Reflect upon your weight prior to your your pelvic floor and then simultaneously recent pregnancy and the gain you had draw your belly button up and bring it back during your prenatal period. Excess towards your spine‌imagine lifting your weight and gain pre and during pregbelly button up off the floor /bed. Hold for nancy can create core strain if it is not count of 10 and release your navel and pelvic floor. Do this as many times a day as being regularly conditioned. possible. 4. Consider your physical ability and condition prior to your recent pregnancy, how Leg slide would you have rated your core strength out of 10? If your core was say a 6 out of Lie on the floor on your back, legs bent with 10 (or less), during pregnancy, if you did feet flat on the floor. Lift pelvic floor, draw not engage in prenatal exercise, there is a the belly button down towards the spine and very slowly lightly slide one foot at a time strong chance your transverse abdomialong the floor to full leg extension and renals (on your sides) were and are still place. The whole time, hold your pelvic weak. It is these muscles that support 12
floor and navel in. Repeat 10/leg. Wall Squat With your back to a wall, knees in line with hips and hands on hips, feet away from wall but in line with knees, lift pelvic floor and slide down the wall into a squat – all the while with your back to the wall. Squeeze your buttocks to push your way up to a stand – still with back to the wall, release pelvic floor at full stand. Repeat 10 times. Your core strength can return and your lower lum-
bar pain can go away – but you will need to be diligent with appropriate exercise and give it time to repair! Good luck and should you need any further information please let me know! Warm regards, Kirsten
Written by Kirsten Mitchell, mobile personal trainer. Find out more about Kirsten on our website or ask a question through our Facebook page.
Did you know…? Numeracy is an important concept to introduce to children from an early age. One of the earliest skills children have to develop is counting and you can help your child develop this skill at home. Ask your child to help you set the table and count the number of plates and pieces of cutlery used. You can also introduce the concepts of more and less/addition and subtraction. “Auntie Sarah is joining us for dinner tonight can you please add one more plate to make it 5 plates please”.
You can count with your child the number of buttons on his pyjamas. At the same time you can develop his fine motor skill by teaching them how to button up. You can encourage your child to count the number of pegs you are using to hang out the washing. By involving your child to help you with chores at home you are also teaching him life skills that will be beneficial to his future. Written by Simone Yuen, children’s book author, www.rainbowballs.com.au 13
Labelling your kids Last year, I started playing badminton with my mum. Recently retired, twice my age and a good six inches shorter than me, I felt confident I could easily match her on court, despite her own 30 years of league experience many decades before.
of me hitting the shuttlecock into the net does not justify being labelled “impatient”. It could simply have been down to a lack of skill, a lack of concentration, a slip of the hand, or it could have been down to a different reason on each of the occasions it I had, however, conveniently forgotten that happened. Perhaps, sometimes, it was actually due to impatience. But just because I Shakespeare’s famous words “though she be but little, she is fierce” could have been might sometimes display impatient behaviours, it doesn’t mean I am an impatient written about my mum! As I toiled and person. traversed with all the grace of a headless chicken on one side of the net, she deterNow, as an adult knowing what I know minedly smashed shuttlecock after shuttle- about the workings of the human mind, it cock with the power and speed of a ferowas easy for me to avoid the consequences that carrying forward a label of being cious bulldog. “impatient” could have had. But how many I ended up always losing. Badly. For no reason other than the fact that my mum was times when I was a child did my mum ima heck of a lot better than me. And perhaps pose similar labels on me, which I didn’t have the resources to provide counterher fiercely competitive nature played its evidence for? How many negative part too. But my mum had other ideas “identities” did I carry forward with me about the reason for my losses. As I throughout my childhood, teenage years knocked limp serve after limp serve into and my 20’s, that affected how I perceived the net, she kept telling me “The problem myself and therefore how others perceived with you is, you’re too impatient!” me too? “The problem with me is, I’m too impatient. The problem with me is, I’m too im- The thing is, when we use labels such as “lazy”, “shy”, “naughty” or “impatient” for patient.” The words rolled around in my mind, searching for evidence of this “fact” our children or our students, it is so easy for them to quickly and easily become that I was impatient. these labels and live up to them. It can take As far as I’m concerned, I am fantastic at just a couple of instances of a young child demonstrating patience. My job requires being given a label for them to make a hard the highest level of patience when coaching and fast decision about themselves, and and training young people, I always work their clever young minds will then show patiently and diligently towards my longthem countless evidence to back up this term goals, and I am a champion at waiting decision, because we see in the world what patiently for the next series of Game of we focus on within ourselves. They will Thrones to come to the screen! suddenly start to interpret everything that they do, everything that happens, according Luckily I was able to identify enough counter-evidence to refute my mum’s claim to this label, becoming the label more and more every day. of impatience, and point out to her confidently and coherently that a few incidences Take Kieran, a bright, adventurous and 14
curious 7 year-old, who was brought to see me because he had started to display signs of dishonesty both at home and at school. His parents were concerned because it had started to get him into trouble with his teachers, and to cause problems with his classmates.
it was enough to cement that decision and for Kieran to take on the identity of being “a liar”.
Through a series of questions and chunking down the experiences he had generalised to come to the conclusion that he was “a liar”, it became apparent that, over the summer holidays, Kieran had noticed that his mum seemed sad because his dad was always working late and never seemed to have time for them. In trying to help, Kieran had phoned his dad late one afternoon and said there was an emergency and he needed to come home straight away. In Kieran’s mind, this would make his mum happy, as his dad would come home early. However, on arriving home to find all was well, both his parents reprimanded Kieran, telling him “you are a liar!”
and as teachers, to make what we see as a throwaway or innocuous comment, which our children and students then generalise and distort within their complex inner worlds, coming up with a stone-fast conclusion, which can affect them and hold them back for many years to come.
Seeing himself as a liar started to affect the way Kieran felt, his behaviour, and the behaviour of others towards him, until it reached the stage where his dishonesty was As I found out more about Kieran during our becoming a cause for concern. Changing the consultation, I noticed that several times he decision Kieran had made by helping him to used the phrase “because I am a liar”. He realise that he had occasionally told lies with was talking about himself at an identity a positive intention, rather than him being “a level, in the same way as he would say, “I liar”, transformed the way he saw himself am a boy”, rather than at a behaviour level, and in turn transformed his behaviour and in the way he might say, “I lied about doing his outcomes. my homework tonight”. It is all too easy for us as adults, as parents,
So how we can prevent this from happening? How can we start to change these habits and build new, better habits, which allow our children and students to be free from labels that do not serve them?
In that moment, Kieran started to form the decision that he was “a liar” and, when his parents used the same phrase again during another incident soon afterwards, 15
Accept the person: A child’s behaviour is not their identity; it is simply the best choice they have available to them with the inner resources they have at that moment in time. If we can hold the belief that children are always doing the best they can in any moment, and that there is a positive intention behind their current behaviour, then it is much easier to accept that this behaviour does not equal who they are at an identity level.
way forward – show them.
Encourage: Children thrive on encouragement. They look to the adults and role models around them to show them that they are getting things right, that they are on the right track. Instead of using negative labels, which will become their main focus, encourage them to focus on everything that’s good about themselves. Ask them questions such as, “What are you brilliant at?” and “What great things have Be mindful: Notice the language you are you done today?” Their clever young using with your children and students. minds will quickly start searching for anAvoid making statements such as, “You swers to these questions, and what will are rude” or “You are naughty”, as these they find? Evidence. Countless, unequivocan be generalised and taken on board at cal evidence of everything that they’re an identity level very quickly and easily by brilliant at and of all the great things young people. Instead, give a specific exthey’ve done. What wonderful gifts to give ample of the behaviour they have disto a child! played that is unacceptable to you, and Children are a precious commodity. They give them a specific example of when they can also be delicate, sensitive and complex have displayed a behaviour that is more beings. Their early experiences will shape acceptable. For example, “This afternoon their life going forward, so give them the you refused to help me with the washing best possible chance of success by avoiding up and I found the way you spoke to me on labels and encouraging open-mindedness, this occasion rude. Yesterday, when you curiosity, creativity and hope. explained calmly that you had some urgent homework to do before you could help, it Brilliant Young People Founder, Melissa was a much better way of dealing with the Hughes, is a qualified NLP (Neuro Linguistic Programming) Trainer, Master Practisituation”. tioner and NLP4Kids Practitioner.. You Look within ourselves: If you are noticing can find out more by visiting http:// a particular trait within your child or stuwww.brilliantyoungpeople.com. dent, ask yourself the question, “How is it true for me?” To identify what a trait is like, we must have our own internal experience of that trait. What behaviours are we displaying that our children are learning from? And how can we adapt our behaviours to provide more positive traits for our children to model? Children are unconsciously picking up on everything we do as they navigate their way through their early years of learning; so if you want to prevent a child from taking on a label and becoming their behaviour, don’t just tell them the 16
Make
Change
As Crisis Foster Carers, Kelly and Glen experienced firsthand the challenges faced by children entering the foster care system in NSW and wanted to do something about it. In early 2012, they founded Foster Care Angels. Foster Care Angels (FCA) are a not for profit, 100% volunteer run organisation passionate about supporting positive foster care placements. Their services are provided free of charge and are designed to help empower foster children, and support foster carers. FCA run 3 programs and are always looking for opportunities to expand their services. 1. Care Packages – Backpacks containing age and gender appropriate essential and comfort items, such as toiletries, school supplies, baby needs, toys, books, a soft teddy to cuddle and a small torch. These are intended to create a sense of self-worth and independence for children first entering foster care. 2. Computers 4 Kids – Computers (including software and technical support) provided to Residential Care Facilities. This is to assist children and young people living in Residential Care Facilities to have every opportunity to reach their full potential. 3. Respite For Carers – Opportunities for carers to have a quiet meal and weekend away. Carers open their hearts and homes for children in need, and it can be a tough job. These respite services can sometimes be the difference between a placement breakdown and positive placement that lasts for years to come.
The good work of Foster Care Angels, and their founder Kelly Doyle have been recognised as finalists this year in the 2014 Body and Soul Extra-Ordinary Women Awards, The Daily Telegraph Champions of The West Campaign, and Kelly has just been shortlisted as one of three finalists in the 2014 Pride of Australia Medal in the Community Spirit Category. If you would like to support their work, you can make a secure tax deductible donation via their website. Corporate support is also welcomed. More information can be found at www.fostercareangels.org.au We would love to hear how you have helped someone in your community or hear how someone has made a difference to you. Please write to us and share your story.
Your Story Stefanie’s Story - Mother’s Intuition Life was pretty normal for me and my little family when we discovered in 2011 that we were expecting again. I was excited to give a sibling to my first little boy and looked forward to the new baby’s arrival. In the meantime I had much to keep me busy as I was in the starting stages of forming my own business while I was pregnant. I had a "hobby" of cake decorating and loved making fun themed cakes for my family and friends. The pregnancy was relatively uneventful until I reached 33 weeks gestation. Contractions surprised me and I ended up in hospital on medication to stop my premature labour. After the contractions had settled I was able to return home to await my due date. Just a week later I found myself unable to sleep in the very early hours of the morning. I had an "uneasy" feeling that something was wrong. I had some mild cramping but nothing that seemed out of the normal for me. I lay in my bed quietly trying to will myself to sleep but the feeling that something was wrong wasn’t going away. With my husband & my then 2 year old fast asleep I decided to drive myself to hospital for a quick check up to put my mind at ease. Little did I know only moments after arriving at hospital I was being rushed in to have an emergency caesarean - my baby was in severe fetal distress. The hospital called my husband to let him know what was happening just as I was being wheeled
in to theatre. I was in complete shock, unable to wrap my head around what was happening. My son was born moments later & whisked away just as I caught a glimpse of him as he wasn’t breathing. I remained in theatre and underwent surgery myself as it turned out my "uneasy" feeling was in fact something life threatening. My uterus had ruptured top and bottom, and my son had fallen through the opening and was wedged in the lining of my stomach. I was so afraid after he was born and I cried as I feared for this new little life. My husband arrived after the birth and was asked to choose between me in theatre or our new son, Joey. I told him to go be with our baby. I needed repair surgery and 2 blood transfusions to get me back on the mend. Joey had breathing tubes inserted and was on a ventilator for two days while in a humidicrib. He also needed two blood transfusions himself. 18
It was a few days before I got to see him, and even longer before I was able to hold him for the first time. After his breathing tube was removed, he remained in his humidicrib for a week and a half, still covered with lines and tubes to monitor his oxygen level, heart rate, blood pressure and general wellbeing. He also needed light therapy for jaundice. He struggled with feeding and was tube fed through his nose for the first 5 weeks. Gradually he improved until he was able to feed on his own and the hospital removed all his tubes and wires. It was almost six weeks in the hospital before I was able to take him home. My husband really struggled with our situation and needed to take weeks off work to care for my first son, Jack while Joey and I were in hospital. Then after my discharge he drove me back and forth from the hospital several times a day to be with Joey. Before my discharge the doctor’s explained the severity of my situation to me. As it turned out myself and my child would have died if I hadn’t gone with my “mother’s intuition”. With a ruptured uterus you bleed out internally and they tell me that I wouldn’t have woken up the next morning had I gone to sleep instead of driving myself to the hospital. My bleeding meant that I had only 30 minutes to live. My son had only 15 minutes. The day I left the hospital I felt like my heart would break, not having my baby in
my arms where he should be. Walking past his empty room and not seeing him caused me to worry about what was happening while I wasn’t there. I felt completely torn as I wanted to be with my newborn but knew I was needed by my older son too. The day I brought Joey home was the best day ever! I felt an instant pressure off my shoulders and I was finally able to relax having my beautiful family all together under one roof. Although I am never able to have more children since the damage to my uterus I am so grateful to have my boys in my life and it was because of them that I pushed on to create my home business. Cake decorating is a passion of mine that allows me to be creative in my own home while I stay at home and take of my kids. Now down the track we are very thankful that we are celebrating Joey’s 3rd birthday and he is doing so well. He has had no complications and is a very happy healthy cheeky boy. I feel so lucky to be a mum to this wonderful family and so lucky to be here to be fulfilling my dreams! Written by Stefanie Hinkley, mum of two and business owner of Fun Cakes.
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The right time This question raises its head quite a lot when it comes to having children and with the recent buzz on the changes to paid maternity leave (possibly) starting next year, I realised I only had a very basic guesstimate on exactly how old most women are these days when they had children. What do you think it is, or when was the right time for you? Some would argue the best time is when they are financially stable, others only when married, another group once they found The One and started going ga ga at babies or if you were to follow the advice of Miranda from Sex and The City the answer would be when they ‘just know’ regardless of all of the above. For me, I was barely in my mid-twenties when we decided it was the best time for us to experience the pitter-patter of little feet (now more like bang, thud, stomp), for my closest friend she um’d and ar’d for many years until she came across the One (now devoted husband) in another country in her mid 30’s until she was ready. And for my sister, she is still deciding on whether or not to enter into the non-instructional baring world of motherhood in her early 30’s. So, what are the cold hard facts on this one? Well, to make sure I was telling you the truth (a far cry from my guesstimate) I decided to consult - who else - but the Australian Bureau of Statistics. It would seem the latest statistics released earlier this year (tallied up to 2012) *show that the median age of mums in Australia has increased over the last 40 years from 25.5 years old back in 1972, to 30.2 years old in 2002, and then moving up again in 2012 to 30.7 years (for all registered births). It will be interesting to find out when they do the next lot of statistics how much older the average age will rise to. But with technology advances in the areas of IVF and egg freezing it seems the skies the limit in some cases. Whatever sparks the decision for women to bring a small person into this world, there is no denying that the motherhood journey at any age is always memorable, and the first time where you can’t get annoyed at your husband or partner for not reading the instructions, because they aren’t provided! *Australian Bureau of Statistics
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Like many a new mother, I had some difficulty in the early day establishing breastfeeding. I was anxious, which made let down difficult, which made my baby cry from frustration, which made me anxious . . . Singing made the difference. It relaxed me, relaxed my baby, and made breastfeeding a better experience for us both. Interestingly, a study has just found that when mothers sang while providing skin to skin to their premature babies, both experienced more regular heart rates and were calmer. Isn't it great when science backs up personal experience! Singing is a great bonding tool, and it is a great language development tool, too. Words are repeated over and over again in song, often with actions, helping understanding. Often we emphasise the important words and we slow down a bit too. Singing more slowly and pausing to let the child finish the words for us are great ways to help children who need extra language assistance. Singing together and moving together to a beat are great for teaching children about being at one with another person - especially for children who might have social difficulties. It teaches kids to adapt their actions (such as the speed of their singing or bouncing) to fit in with the other person. By deliberately altering the speed or direction which we move, or even the words or key that we're singing in, we can help our children pay attention and make adjustments to the world around them. Early reading is all about hearing sounds and rhythms in words, which is why children with early music exposure have a head start with reading. Songs often have rhyming words, which is a great way to listen out to word endings. And clapping along with a beat, singing counting songs, being able to predict when a song is about to finish - all are great for early maths skills, too. You might come into parenting without a lot of exposure to children's music. My advice is to go online and grab a copy of Merrily Merrily, a CD from the Australian Breastfeeding Association. It is simple and old-fashioned, but it has all the songs you will remember from kindergarten, and the kids love it. There's also a book with the music and words in it if you'd like. The Playschool CDs are also great for classic children's songs. You will find that most of the songs that your kids learn at daycare, playgroup or preschool will be there - otherwise, have a quick search on youtube. Singing has been part of human learning forever, perhaps even before speech. It is a great way to bond with your children, introduce them to language, reading, and maths, and to welcome them into the way we listen to each other.
Women in business:
the superacheivers Life has changed dramatically from years past when women stayed at home to care for their families while their husbands worked. These days it is difficult to draw a circle around what is defined as a family and the roles and responsibilities have changed just as much. There is a growing focus on the role of the woman and many women have chosen to embrace the freedom we have in this age to be both the person who raises a family and someone who also contributes to the family finances. With this shift in family roles many women have chosen to take the money earning capacity into their own hands and start their own business. This allows them to work around their families and generate some extra income to send their kids to dance or soccer lessons, help with the mortgage or even become the breadwinner. During my time as a nominee of the Ausmumpreneur awards I had the privilege of connecting with many amazing mums who run their own businesses. These incredible ladies not only raise families but have become very successful in their chosen areas of business. These women have made the discovery of how to have it all. So how do they do it? Let me introduce you to some of the lovely Ausmumpreneurs who will share with us what makes them superachievers and why they do what they do: On being a mumpreneur: “I want to enjoy and be a large part of my kids life without having to totally forfeit my own career needs and ability to contribute to the family. Working from home and for myself allows me to do this. The business is growing as I give time to it (I've been to book parade this morning and loved that I could), the older my kids get the more time I give to the business.” Jenny Southwood, Wholesome and Clean
On being a super achiever: “Being a full time mum to two kids, running a household and a business! I always put my kids first, but by being organised I have been able to achieve harmony in the home and also success in my business.” Caroline Africh, Attipas Australia.
On being a mumpreneur: “I'm a HUGE safety advocate! I was a police woman, volunteered for Red Cross and the State Emergency Services then became a school crossing supervisor (Lollipop Lady). So when I created a road safety product for my children that other parents wanted to use - I jumped at the chance to create a business that enables me to work flexibly around my family from home.” Joanne Byron, Safe-T-Hand ~ Child Safety Around Cars On being a super-achiever: “Not by luck or fortune but by hard work, commitment and resilience. My business has never remained paused or stagnant. It continues to advance and improve, it is recognised for quality and utmost customer service and it’s proven to be profitable.” Amberlea Henriques, Spoil’em
On success: “I feel successful when I manage to juggle all of the balls of my life in the air at once. From my business, my 2 toddlers, houseduties etc. Occasionally I do drop a ball, but that's OK. I pick it back up and start juggling again. I have realised I don't need to be perfect to feel successful, but I do need to have the right attitude and keep pushing forward.” Amy Luttrell, Mama Chic
Definition of success: “Being able to do what I want and when I want for me and my family without the restrictions of answering to a boss or financial restrictions.” Sarah Isabelle, Belle Fever On being a business owner: “I have always had an interest in working for myself as my dad owned his own business since I was a young girl so I liked the idea of being my own boss. I also liked the freedom of working for myself and what it allowed me to do.” Deborah Brodie, Bop Along Buddies
On success: “My definition of success is being able to multitask & pull it off! If I can take care of my children, do school runs , make appointments and complete all my cake orders - then I have had a completely successful week :)” Stephanie Hinkley
Finding your own definition of success and aiming for it will make you a better and happier person. If you are a business person or are wanting to be make sure you don’t miss out on our magazine special issue Mum’s in Business coming out next month. In it you will find how-to’s, Q&A’s from business owners, case studies on real businesses and articles that will help you on your way. Subscribe on our website so you don’t miss out!
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Make-up for working mums The transition from stay at mum to working mum can be hard, and it is often difficult to find the time to get yourself ready and feel like an attractive woman again. Here are some tips from hair and makeup artist Sally Grieve that you can do in a short time to get you feeling your best!
After cleansing your face apply your moisturizer. Apply foundation or concealer under the eyes and to any spots if necessary.
Use an eyeliner to give extra definition. Use under eyes and add to top for an even deeper look.
If you like the smokey look simply blend with the tip of a makeup brush.
Use a black or very black mascara to give your eyes extra boldness for night.
Use a small brush to sweep eyeshadow across the lid from the centre of the eye outward.
Add a bronzer for some colour Use a shiny lip gloss or a bright lipstick like pink or red for a great night time accent.
Use makeup wipes to remove makeup at the end of the day - they are easy, quick and moisterizing.
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Recommended Products: Johnson and Johnson facial wipes for cleaning skin Sukin Rosewater Facial Spray Sukin Rosehip oil Napoleon or Revlon (2 in 1) foundation/concealer Benefix Paw Paw Ointment as a lip balm Maybelline Great Lash Waterproof Mascara
Wash your face when you get up in the morning and apply moisterizer or tinted moisterizer. Leave for at least 15 minutes before applying makeup - this is the perfect time to attend to kids for breakfast or brush your teeth.
Apply foundation or concealer under the eyes and to any spots if necessary.
Use waterproof mascara to prevent unwanted smudging. Use brown for a more natural look.
A bronzer is a nice way to add some colour to your face. Simply use on cheeks and lightly across the nose.
A simple lip gloss, balm or lipstick can complete your look.
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Money Challenge
In case you have been wondering, I am doing really well on my 2014 Money Challenge. I have managed to keep my grocery bill down and I have been putting $300 into savings every week (this is our savings plus our money that we set aside for large bills like water, electricity and rates). If you set aside money every week for the large bills they come as less shock at bill time. So that got me thinking of other ways to save money. For me the other large spending comes from our toiletries - shampoo, conditioner, body wash, hand wash, lotions etc. The fact that my daughter has quite bad eczema means that I have to be very careful about what I use on her skin and have discovered that products for eczema sufferers are very expensive. So I started researching how I could both save money and protect my child’s skin. My first answer came in the form of virgin coconut oil. Okay coconut oil is not exactly cheap but it can be purchased in bulk and it goes a long way. Coconut oil has some great properties two of which are that it works as both a moisterizer and a barrier, keeping the skin hydrated while also protecting it. It is also completely safe and edible which makes it safe for small babies who are likely to suck their hands or feet. I was able to get a litre of coconut oil for $15.00 (you can get it even cheaper in bulk or from websites like eBay). With this litre I used it on my kids every night in the bath for over a month plus I mixed a cup of it 26
with half a cup of sugar and some grated lime rinds for an amazing body scrub for myself (the full instructions are on our blog). All that for under $20! Previously I was spending over $15 on the aveeno bath wash for the kids which although good still has lots of additives and weird names I can’t pronounce. And my baby’s skin is better than it has ever been! That got me thinking of products that I could make myself that would save money. Check out a few of these blogs if you like the idea of making your own toiletries. I haven’t yet tried these but they sound fantastic and I can’t wait to start creating my own. http://livesimply.me/2013/07/14/ homemade-body-wash/ http://www.theconfidentmom.com/04/ essential-oils/diy-morning-citrus-blastbody-wash/ http://youqueen.com/beauty/hair/diyhomemade-shampoo-and-conditioner-forhealthy-hair/ I would love to hear what you do to keep your costs down or minimise your spending. Have you tried making your own body wash, shampoo or conditioner and if so I would love to hear the result. Join us on Facebook to share your experience. www.facebook.com/smallstepsparenting
Kids Fun! Need a quiet game to occupy the kids? Try this fun free pom pom printable activity.
Simply print out the pom pom printables available from the resources page on our website www.smallstepsparenting.com Give the printables to your child with a handful of coloured pom poms. You can laminate the pages so you can use them over and over. Encourage your child to select the pom poms and place on the correct colour circle in each picture. Ask them which colours they are using each time Get them to count the number of pom poms on a page or the number of each colour pom pom Uses fine motor skills Colour recognition Counting skills
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Community Do you have a free playgroup, event or program for families? List them here on our community noticeboard for FREE! Email us.
Meet & Greet Tuesday 1.00pm – 2.30pm Informal group for mums & bubs birth – 18 months Bookings phone 4577 9804
PRE-SCHOOL STORYTIME every Tuesday 11am-12noon Richmond Branch every Thursday 11am-12noon (except during school holidays) Themed stories, rhymes & craft for 3 - 5 years Siblings welcome FREE - All welcome Central Library Windsor Deerubbin Centre, 300 George Street, Windsor (02) 4560 4460
Playgroups During school term South Windsor Tuesday, 0-5 year olds, 9:30 –11am Hobartville Tuesday, 0-5 Year olds, 9:15 - 11am Windsor South Thursdays, 0-5 year olds 9:15-10:45am Bookings phone 4577 9804
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RHYME TIME Every Monday 10-11am (except school holidays) Rhymes, songs and craft for 18 months to 3 years. Siblings welcome. FREE - no need to book. Central Library Windsor Deerubbin Centre, 300 George Street, Windsor (02) 4560 4460
Twins and More The playgroup is for families/carers of twins or parents expecting multiple births. Hawkesbury Twins and More is a free Playgroup providing an informal welcoming setting to socialize, interact & share experiences with others who have Twins and More. Bring a rug for babies to lie on & anything else you may need! For more information please call Thursdays—Fortnightly 9.30am—11.00am South Windsor Family Centre Greenhills Way, South Windsor 4577 9804
Noticeboard
Hawkesbury Humbugs Playgroup Join a relaxed group with babies and preschoolers and meet for a coffee, morning tea and a play. First two visits free, just bring a drink and a piece of fruit. All welcome.
For Aboriginal Children and their Parents/Carers. Monday Morning 9.30am – 11.30 am (During School term) Windsor South Public School (Entry from Cox St gate near the corner of Campbell St) Morning tea provided. For enquiries please call Merana Aboriginal Association for the Hawkesbury Inc. 4588 5144
Playtime@HVBC Are you looking for a safe, fun, secure environment where your child 0-5 years can meet together with other children? Do you need some
Thursdays Glossodia Community Centre 9.30am-11.30am For more info call Alana 0403354364
adult talk time? Come to Playtime at HVBC! Where: Hawkesbury Valley Baptist Church, 14/26 Terrace Rd North Richmond When: Tuesday, Wednesday and Thursday 9.30-11.30am during school term Contact: Ph 4571 4963, txt or call Deanna 0438 668 259 or check out our website www.hvbc.org.au
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Call our advertising team today to book your spot! Spaces are limited www.smallstep sparenting.co m www.faceboo k.com/ smallstepsparenting
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