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“I don’t wanna ruin the session or anything, but I think I need to go to the hospital, fifteen minutes would be cool” Donny Green after his disk crushing slam. “My wife even thinks it’s funny” Joey McGuire on Starfish. “I will do anything to get in the magazine” Mayor Barry Tutle on Starfish. “Don't make me look like more of a chump than I already am” Pete Saari on Starfish. “Don’t believe anyone with bindings” Brian Beauchene on the ski and snowboard industries.
QUOT ES “Is he doing anything or is he just drunk?” Matt “Corperate” Cupp on Jackson’s cover shot. “Snowskating is a fairly new sport and unlike skateboarding it is much easier to get sponsored by companies because they need people to show off their products” Wilkepedia on snowskating. “Fuck that shit, I’m a snowskater now” Jackson on the Mt Baker banked slolom. “Don’t move that. That’s for my dog to pee on.” Mahala on Starfish mags sitting on the floor of her trailer. “Fuck that. Get Terry Parker down there.” Jordan on Terry Kidwell judging the Ralston Cup. “When we get there and you look around, you’re gonna be like, I’m glad I didn’t pay to come here” Tomoki on the Dirty South.
Jake, photo by Jimmy Clarke
F lorida P
owde
rM ounta in Lab
Big John photo by Leavitt
Bad Boy Justin Jackson Heath
photos by Big John
Leavitt photo by Big John
Dane Orvold photo by Big John
Donny Gr een
Joey Sici liano
m u i od
P
Brian Beauchene and most of The South have decided The Seattle based Spacecraft snowskaters need to hold some Litter company continues to be kind of “World Speed Record”. the Cascades #1 creator of point These rednecks have clocked source pollution. One fisherman themselves at an astonishing in the North Cascades reported rate of 36 mph. At this point catching a 14 inch rainbow in time Starfish is unaware of trout with a sticker on it. what it means to be “clocked”. Jan Terri’s classic video However if any of our North “Get Down Goblin” featuring West readers are capable of a cameo by Pat Quin is now on “clocking” we should shatter You-Tube. those southern bitches record of 36 mph and make a new one. After a three year hiatus, Adam B. , The Willie Wonka The snowskate designers of snoskating, has reopened his at Mervin Manufacturing have 10,000 acre Florida Powder shot themselves in the foot Mountain Lab to the public. again. Shortly after snowskatSubsequentially Starfish Headers discovered the Banana quarters has been flooded with Theory and Magnatraction their photos. Apparently powder ideas were stolen by snowsnow is regaining popularity. boarders. Now Mervin is so The Hurricane Ridge baked busy selling snowboards that slalom will be held March 28th. snowskaters have actually been Bring your rain gear and your forced to stop work and build surfboards. snowboards.
Tech man Nate Barber won our monthly joke about John Knox contest with this entry: “Did you here about Jen? She got Knoxed up.” Nate was awarded a bloody mary and Starfish T-shirt for his efforts. Mike Rapaich of Duluth Minnisota recently became Starfish’s only subscriber that still rides a flat deck.
Long time starfish subscriber Brian “Grandpa” Smith from Hyak reports that he actually offended some dude by wearing a Starfish Tshirt that read “There’s alot of Bull Shit in there”. Keep up the good work Grandpa.
Starfish fan Adrian recently recieved Rocker Trucks for his Birthday. Happy birthday Adrian. The good people at Mervin Manufacturing have decided snowskaters need to be more team oriented. Therefore they eliminated Gnu Snowskates and created the Lib Tech Snowskate Team. Team work seminars are being scheduled for this spring. Arizona’s #1 snowskate company Railz is now in their third year of sucking with no end in sight. Cup the nuts guys. Starfish would like to remind our underage readers that Red Bull is awesome.
Some jack ass snowboarder recently fell while getting off the lift in front of Merrisa George. In an attempt to avoid the jack ass, snowskater Merissa crashed and recieved 32 stiches in her knee from her own skate. Stevens Pass Washington is officially on the Snowskate Hot-Pass list. The worst ski resort in the country has finally blown their cover. Washington travelers Beware, going to Stevens Pass is a huge mistake. Jake Burton. Yes, The Jake Burton . Apparently hates all of us. WARNING IF YOU ARE ARE A SNOWSKATER, SNOWSKATE COMPANY OR EVEN THINK SNOWSKATING IS COOL. JAKE BURTON OWNS PATENTS ON YOU AND CAN SUE YOU!!! The North Coast Stencil company was banned from this years Holy Oly event for showing up too early. Scott Sullivan still refuses to give us any more photos of Wolle.
Krush pulled the plug on our “joking about location joke” and would like us to remind our less attentive readers that the cover of the last issue, with Sean D. doing a nose press in the dirt, was actually taken at Snoqualmie Pass, Washington. The photo was taken before the resort was open and the dirt background may have made it look like it was taken at Stevens Pass, Washington. FUSE Snowskates recently did demos at SNOW BASIN , UTAH. Other than that these dudes are too busy skating to send us photos. Look for more photos next issue. BASTARD ALERT. Some bastard stole Big John’s Camera after the Holy Oly and therefore all of the Starfish photos of the event has been lost.
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“It was also easy to find the bathrooms and the cafeteria”
lift to another. We ride the run from the top of Elk chair to the bottom of Bear chair a crap load of times every day and there are just so many familiar bumps and jumps, it’s a blast. Do you ever snowskate off the hill? Is it sweet? There are a few fun spots around Fernie for boarding off the hill. There is a sort of junkyard/summer equipment storage Colin’s answers: area that always has something fun What are your favorite runs to go to play on. There is also tons of hike on and why? able terrain if you Some of aren’t lazy. my favorite runs at Fernie are the How’s the snow feeder runs that there? get you from one kay, so basically I don’t do sweet snowskate maneuvers like some of my friends, but I know a lot of cool cats go to Fernie to rip it up. Therefore, instead of making up a whole bunch of crap about Fernie (I’ve only been there twice) I decided to ask Jordan Armstrong and Colin Sproule why they love it there so much.
Fernie snow is pretty hit and miss. Many nights ride the fine line between rain and snow with temperatures around 0 degrees Celsius. Sometimes a big heavy snowfall is rough goings on a snowskate, but when you get the deep dry stuff it’s heaven. Do you ever go out anywhere in Fernie like to shop or eat? I like the Fernie town. There is a local shop called Commit. It is a great place to hangout and buy stuff if you have money. The movie theater is pretty
boss with its small town vibe. If you don’t like movies, the Ghostriders games are always entertaining. I am always amazed at the number of fights at those games, as well as the ratio of drunken people (especially Aussies) to sober people. It should also be noted that there is a killer purple bus taxi service that makes stops on the hill and in town. It only costs $3 to ride the purple bus, and is great for going to the bar if you have a place on the mountain. What kind of sweet maneuvers
Jordan Armstrong do you do at Fernie? Best part about Fernie is just gnarly terrain and riding runs that make snowboarders feel like babies. Over the years we have ridden just about everything from tree runs, to steeps, to the occasional park run. Over all, Fernie is a great mountain with a nice balance of big resort access and facilities, with a good small town vibe. Jordan’s answers: I like Fernie because you can loop the mountain without going to the base. It also has awesome natural terrain, and before RCR turned into fuckbags they had a fun park. Fernie allows snowskating, which puts them at the top of the list by default, but even if
they didn’t, it would still be a pretty rad mountain. Plus Adam and Matty at the Commit shop are super down with snowskating and they run a nice shop. My input: Even though I’ve only been to Fernie once in the winter, the mountain had a wide range of runs so everyone could ride their skill level, and didn’t feel bored or scared. It was also easy to find the bathrooms and the cafeteria, which is good when you have to pee, or are really thirsty. The only downside to Fernie is the parking is really far away from the mountain, but a sled can come and pick you up and take you to the hill if you feel like waiting. I would definitely go there again.
By: Darryl Pollock
Mark’s Backyard and Red Rock Montana
By Jordan Armstrong
The original title of this article was going to be called Hippies are not to be Trusted, but things changed, and I learned that hippies can kind of be trusted…almost… sometimes (but not really).
Spicolli’s truck to the X Gaymes.
On Monday night I got this message “We r fuct. A low oil pressure light went off in my truck. Put oil in. shit wont start? Passin out in the truck. 22miles outside I was supposed moses lake.”. I called Spicolli the next to meet Shag and morning only to find Spicolli at Mark out they were still Edmundson’s house stuck on the side of in Idaho on the the road, but they morning of Tuesday had called AAA and January 22. We they were going would then drive
“For lack of a better title, Mark Edmundson is a Powder Farmer.”
“Hippies are not to be Trusted”
make a vehicle smell like hippies, they declined and proceeded to spend Not knowing the next day in what to do, I Ritzville demo’ing offered to pick them up and said we the new 2008 North could take my truck Coast stencils. to the X-Gaymes After waiting on one condition; around for a while, they didn’t make I decided to go to it smell like Mark’s house early hippies. Knowing and get a day of they couldn’t not riding in. I crossed the border into America-town no problem and was at Marks house in the early afternoon. to get towed to Ritzville.
For lack of a better title, Mark Edmundson is a Powder Farmer. He has a plethora of lines surrounding his house and he waits till they are just right and proceeds to shred them. He leaves some for later, and has a cycle so he gets fresh turns in his backyard for most of the season. Mark must also be
“We could take my truck to the X-Gaymes on one condition; they didn’t make it smell like hippies.” a physicist because the jumps he shapes in his park beside his house are amazing. There is a right hip, left hip, wallride, step up, table and a teacup. Among these features are gaps and lines making hours of fun. The geometry of the features is nothing short of perfect. The jumps pop you just right, and the transitions are all in the right spots. The park contains no rails, which is very radical and
makes sense because rather than having to dig out rails after every snowfall (Which apparently is often, as I came back to Marks house at the end of the week and had to dig my truck out of 2.5 feet of snow) he can just make his snow features radder and create more lines. The best part of Marks backyard heaven is that everything is such a small hike, and you can do
powder lines and park lines within the same vicinity. If you are ever presented with the chance to ride Marks Backyard Park I highly suggest you take up that offer. For footage of the park check out SnowskateBlog.com. On the X-Gaymes trip, I also got to ride on the side of the freeway
in southern Montana, just outside of Red Rock at 1 a.m. when the truck ran out of gas. It is windy, cold, rocky and there is barely any snow. I do not recommend riding there if you are presented the opportunity.
snowskate.ca
Jake, photo by Jimmy Clarke
Rusty
Sean Davis, photo by Pat Bonser
THE PILGRIMAGE By Mark Edmundson
Traveling
to Seattle Wa to watch a 20 min snowskate movie may sound a bit extreme to some. But considering how much time I spend building snowskates, thinking about snowskates, working on jumps for snowskates, and trying to convince others that snowskates kick ass, I’d say that it’s pretty much a religion for me. And what better place to worship than a bar in Pioneer square with a bunch of other converts.
“what better place to worship than a bar in Pioneer square”
My pilgrimage starts with a short session at Hillyard in Spokane. A grindline skatepark seems an appropriate rest stop for a trip to Seattle. Five more hours of driving and I’m smack dab in the middle of 5’o clock traffic. Two hours later and I’m strolling past junkies into the Last supper Club. TV screens on all the walls with footage from Triolgy’s latest skate flick means I must be in the right place. I grab a beer and head to a seat to talk snowskating with whomever I can find. The first guy I strike up a conversation with tells me how much he likes Schweitzer. I tell him were good to go now with respect to snowskates at Schweitzer and he replies, “if I’m going to Schweitzer then I’m snowboarding.” Ok, this guy’s not of my church. Then I run into Sean Davis, the man behind the flick, and score two pre-released copies for 10 bucks. That alone makes the trip seem worth it seeing how the vid is still a month away from being released. Then I see Jake from Rocker trucks with his latest creation in hand. I bee-line for him and check out the trucks,
they’re totally trick and beautiful. Then I run into Tim from Starfish who seems amazed that I drove all the way out here for a snowskate vid. I tell him that I’m trying to hit skateparks along the way and then it seems, make more sense. Pretty soon the vid starts and I’m all business, but as luck would have it I’m standing next to some idiot who wants to talk. “Holy #$**, these guys rip, their really good huh? Do you know them? Is snowskating hard?” “Yeah” I reply and try to concentrate. It’s impossible to take in a vid on the first go, you really need to watch it four or five times before the details emerge. This is true with “Only a matter of time,” and while it seems to flow great and the editing is pro, I can’t tell if what I’ve seen is ground breaking or not. It’s over way too soon but the two copies in my pocket insure that I will have another go at it. I finish my beer and head outside for some fresh air. I see Shag from Libtech holding the latest and greatest, a banana mag 48” snowskate. I had called several shops on my way
screams in the background you’d assume he does this type of thing all the time. The next morning it’s raining as I get ready to head back. Extremely Board is actually on my way home. I get there right as they’re opening up. $340.00 later I am the proud owner of my first libtech snowskate. It’s still raining as I head to the summit. The plan was to try and visit Leavenworth’s skatepark on my return trip. Lots of people said the east side is down to see if anyusually dry but it’s one had these in I ask. “Yeah, we got hard to believe. atm. “Yeah, but stock but everyone a whole stack of hurry, we’re taking As I drive over the was out. He lets me em,” he replys. “Not summit it starts to off soon.” I go next take a closer look door to a small store the 43’s but the clear. 5 miles from and it’s sick. This with an atm but it’s 48’s,” I ask again. Leavenworth and is not just a skat“Yeah the 48’s.” broken. Then I call the ground is soakedeck mounted to my sister in law and He gives me direcing wet but as I pull a skiboard but a tions to his shop and into the skatepark have her grab my snowskate, designed says they open at cash and come on its bone dry. This by snowskaters who 10. My ride comes down to the bar. I weather is maddendon’t snowboard. and I head back to rush back in to tell ing but at least I get Turns out this is the my bother’s place. I him the money is to skate. The park is raffle prize so we plop the dvd in and on its way but he’s supper fun. It’s just head in to see who watch it two more gone. Ahhhh!!!! I me and a few kids. A will take it home. Of times. On the sechead back outside short but fun sescourse I don’t win it. to wait for my ride. ond viewing I finally sion then I’m back Some guy, who has catch Clarke HurlWhile standing in on the road for 6 no idea what he’s the rain I start talk- but’s early grab 360. hours of driving, won, does. I offer HOLY COW!!!!!!!! ing to a guy and plenty of time to him 200 bucks, it reThat’s ground break- think up an excuse mention I’m from tails for 340.00. He ing for sure; in fact to tell my wife on Sandpoint. “Hey, reply’s that 220.00 the whole vid rips we were going to why someone who will do it. I reach as do all the riders. open a board shop spends so much time for my wallet only When Sean Davis in Sandpoint,” he and money building to realize I’ve left kick flips the gap says. Turns out this snowskates would my cash back at my guy is the owner of on the Shut Up And- spend three hundred brother’s place. I Extremely Board. “Do Snowskate quarter, dollars on another ask him if he’ll wait it looks so smooth. you guys have any one. Maybe I’ll say for me to go to an of the libtech 48’s?” If it wasn’t for the it’s for her.
The Smokies with Tomoki
Knoxville, Tennessee to be exact.
“This is where fat families come on vacation” words by Leavitt photos by Tomoki
What were we leaving? Florida Powder Mountain Lab Photo by Big John
Starfish Goes To The Dirty South
After
eight weeks of straight powder storms at the Florida Powder Mountain Lab the Starfish crew was ready for some slush and sunny skies. Fortunately Brian at Pluto Sports called Starfish Headquarters and invited us down for some southern hospitality including Jan
local snowboarders. Brian made Terri videos, moon- the arrangements and Clarke #3 In shine, sunshine, The Word, Tomoki slush and some Kunimitsu and I kind of contest were on our way where we could school most of the to the dirty south,
Our four hour flight turned into a seven and a half hour flight and as our plane weaved in and out of tornados Tomoki enjoyed the privacy of the bathroom where he could puke in comfort. After all of the puking Tomoki convinced the flight attendants into letting him maintain his exclusive residence in the bathroom by dry heaving until we were all safely on the ground. Fortunately for Tomoki and the flight attendants our next flight was cancelled and we were stuck in Memphis. Around this time I get a text message reading, “twelve more inches at the Florida Powder Lab” What in the hell are we doing stuck in Memphis surrounded by Tornados and people who talked like they were choking on their tongue’s? After another full day of delays we
here in the dirty south they were lifties.
“The contest was being held at Ober Gatlinburg, some kind of strange backwoods snowkate paradise.” Brian Beaushene
finally arrive in Knoxville the next evening. Brian picked us up and we drove two and a half more hours straight to the Ober Gatlinburg Ski Resort where we barely snuck in two runs. Then two and a half more hours back to Knoxville. The drive was scenic even in the dark and our tour guide Brian kept it interesting by pointing out all of the sights. We drove though beautiful Pigeon Forge. Pigeon Forge is about 15 miles of places to eat, hotels and arcades. Brian informed us with a drawl that “This is were fat
families come on vacation, and fat people come to get married” Apparently after Vegas, Pigeon Forge is the #2 place to get married. Brian also pointed out a strip club that was B.Y.O.B., Dollywood and the world’s largest knife store. The contest was being held at Ober Gatlinburg, some kind of strange backwoods snowkate paradise. The resort features a water slide, an alpine slide, a go-cart track, an indoor ice skating rink, a scenic tram ride and of course a huge arcade. We took a few runs
on the chair and each time the lifties seemed to look for a new reason to hassle us. All of these lifties were 45 year old dudes who had never skied, snowboarded or probably even sledded in their lives. At home these people usually are carnies or rodeo hands
The day of the contest it was warm and slushy We arrived late enough to miss the rider meeting and be informed by the Hillbilly Contest Official that “if this was a REAL contest and not an Ober Gatlinburg contest we would have been disqualified.” Who cares this is Ober Gatlinburg. Give us some bibs so we can school these east coast shredders. We got our bibs and made it to the race course. It was awesome, like two hundred vertical feet of man made snow with three gates. Perfect, I knew
Clarke Olliebut #3 in the East
the snowboarders were going down. We rolled up and the Austrian Event Coordinator looked sceptical. Fortunately, I was wearing my new day glow sunglasses that have fun written all over them. We easily convinced the Austrian Event Coordinator that we could safely make it down the course and even beat some of the shredders. The race was on. We patiently watched while the shredders did their thing, most of them speed checked, some of them even fell. Awesome, these shredders were going down. Tomoki was first and he bailed about 3/4 of the way down the course. The Austrian Event Coordinator looked at me as if to say “nice sunglasses but I still don’t think you can make it down the hill” The starting gate was made of a few 2x4’s stuck in the snow. Therefore you could not just pull
yourself though the starting gate before your run. Rather each rider was seized by the collar and hurled through the gate by the Austrian Event Coordinator. So, I was hurled through the gate and on the coarse, thirteen seconds later I was though the finish and being told by the Hillbilly event Coordinator that I had the smoothest run yet. A few more shredders had their turn and then it was time for Hurlbut #3 to show these shredders why we were really here. Hurlbut dropped in like a bat out of hell and by gate three he was really moving and his feet were all over the place. Could he hold on? Duh? Hurlbut held on with a smoking run that will frighten the east coast shredders for years. Now it was Brian’s turn. Could he beat the shredders? Brian was hurled though the gate and had a flawless run. As
we waited for our times we headed towards the Aerial event. The aerial event was actually about thirty feet from the race event (the whole run was about one hundred feet wide) and consisted of what would be normally called a “mogul to flat.” I could describe it in better detail but you should just look at this photo of Brian and we can move on...
Brian Beauchene at Ober Gatlingbug
When the awards were finally handed out Brian took third in the aerial event (against the shredders) and of coarse Hurlybut took third in the timed race (against the shredders). Our mission was complete: We had schooled the southern shredders. It was time for some free riding in North Carolina.
North Carolina
After Two hours of lakes, hills, rhododendrons and scenic highways we ended up at the best ski resort in the south, The Appalachian Ski Mtn. This place is sick. Slush Sun and two parks featuring a c-box, table tops, and rails. The Appalachian Ski Mtn had a way more laid back vibe and none of the lift operators seemed to care what we were up to. We rode the parks until our session ended and a local ski patroller offered to take Clarke Buts board if he didn’t stop hiking the jumps. Yeah, right.
Appalachian Ski Mtn
“Hurlbut dropped in like a bat out of Clarke #3 at Appalacian Ski Mtn. hell”
you up in the dirt. No trip to the east coast is complete without some bone crushing ice. Wolf Laurel delivered ice of all colors, blue ice, black ice and even the dreaded clear ice. We checked all of the ice and found a few small quarter pipes, an icy We easily eluded the patroller even with our skates and cool sunglasses. We went to the lodge and split up. After our brief search of the entire lodge we found out there was no bar. This place was getting weird so we quickly left for our next destination Wolf Laurel. Three more hours of scenic back roads and we ended up at the Wolf Laurel lodge, another ski lodge with no bar. Something creepy was going on but after a long day of driving and snowskating we were willing to take some chances. We sat down to a southern buffet and enjoyed the
Brian Beauchene at Wolf Laurel
winds and since there was no bar we headed back to Knoxville. Knoxville has a pretty nice new skatepark built on an old softball field with lights. We skated for a few hours. Then it was time for some Jan Terri Videos and a lot of moonshine. Moonshine is great. It burns your throat for the first few sips and then you just go numb. Once you are numb the white lightnin just flows right down. Next thing you know it is morning and your still drunk sleeping next to some poor tourist on a plane
clogging of a traveling tap dance quartet. Wolf Laurel probably had the most vertical and highest elevation of all the resorts we visited giving it more of an alpine feel. The runs However long ranged in width from about 3o-8 feet wide and a high speed starfish could easily end
Leavitt at Wolf Laurel
park and a real icy over-vert hillbilly wall ride. Eventually The whole mountain closed because of high
back to Seattle. Special thanks to our southern hosts Brian, Rachel, Fiji and Pluto Sports.
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The X-Gaymes
X
X
By Shag It
was a simple plan, really. Spicoli and I pick up Jordan in Idaho, then rally to Colorado for a few days of riding before doing the X Gaymes. Simple enough. Obviously, since nothing ever goes as planned, it wasn’t like that... After we passed Snoqualmie Summit it seemed as though we were lagging up the hills. Spico’s truck wasn’t THAT gutless. We rallied this route last year. When we stopped for gas we found out why the truck was lagging. Somehow without us noticing The Notorious Victor had installed a camper on the truck and had stowed away with us. Seems his sponsor left him hanging. At least we knew we were lagging because of the sheer weight of his fat ass. OK then, The Turd is on board with us. We were gonna meet him in Colorado anyway. And with Sean D, Pat Quinn, and Matt Quam to posse up with...we were gonna blow some minds. But like I said...nothing ever goes as planned...and our vehicle, now dubbed the “Millenium Spico”, rolls on through the night... In the middle of nowhere Eastern Washington, only a few hours into the trip, we get our first kick in the nuts. The oil light comes on and the
ride grinds to a halt on the side of the road. She aint starting. It’s 2 in the morning and 20 miles either way from the nearest town. We spend the night on I-90 with no heat in sub zero weather, wind chill included. I thought for sure my toes were frostbit. The next day we get towed to the sprawling metropolis of Ritzville, Washington where we find out that the truck had blown the distributor to the tune of hundreds of dollars...and we were stuck there for the night because the parts wouldn’t be there until morning. At least we had the camper. And a supply of liqour. The fine men at Pete’s Garage let us plug in to their power and we got a decent amount of sleep. After a little breakfast, Victor found himself the proud owner of a breathalyzer. They sell those things in Ritzville. Now we have accurate measurement of just how much alcohol we can legally drink. Finally around lunchtime we see the newly repaired Millenium Spico ready for launch. Back to the mission. Jordan was called and assured that we really would be there today. We rallied from Ritzville to Mark “Chillerdeck” Edmundson’s place just north of Sand Point, Idaho to get him.
Arriving at Mark’s place was a relief. His backyard is a snoskate fun park loaded with nice jumps and a 6 foot quarterpipe. Unfortunately, we didn’t have the time to stay and session it as we were a day and a half behind schedule. Jordan, however, spent the day ripping this place to shreds waiting for us, and had learned frontside threes in the process. Then, upon learning of our “bi-deck tre flip for 49 beers” contest, the Canadian Crippler proceeds to bust one out in roughly 10 minutes. He doesn’t drink...that was the funny part. He allowed us to drink his prize if he could recycle the empties afterward. Well, now we have everyone, so we loaded up the Millenium Spico and hit the high road for Colorado.
Utah did us ugly. We were stuck in traffic for hours. The hills slowed us down further and Victor’s weight wasn’t helping. To top it off... The Utah State Troopers pulled us over for a crack in the windshield, but then changed it to not allowing a car to safely merge. Then the dog was unleashed and 2 members of our party were handed rather large tickets afterward. It really could’ve been worse, but the Stater just sent us on our way, saying “You almost made it....Colorado is only 20 miles...”
About 4 hours later we finally meet up with Sean Davis and Pat Quinn near Asspin, Colorado. They are horrified by our stories of the road. They had a much better time traveling, and they had rode the hell out of Breckenridge while waiting for us. With all representatives present and accounted for, we caravan up But, of course, it’s never easy. The GPS sent us on what looked like a shorter route to Missoula to Buttermilk to see what’s up with the snowskate course... but ended up taking twice as long. The same device had us going through Utah...which After being searched and passing security we weren’t too keen on doing, but it was a we find ourselves in the zoo known as the shorter route on major highways. We needed to shave as much time as possible so we pushed X-Gaymes. It’s kind of like a cross between a county fair and a professional wrestling show. on. Booths and sideshows visited by people in costumes holding signs with their favorite rider
“we knew we were lagging because of the sheer weight of his fat ass.”
Shag
starfishsnowskatemagazine.com and how they want to sleep with them and what not. The snowskate course was one of the sideshows. We stood in awe of the squared circle...it was about as big as a wrestling ring. Well, maybe twice the size. It had a small rail, a box that my snowskate was longer than, a medium sized flat-down rail, a small jump, and a 5 foot drop off with a flat box on the left and a flat-down box on the right…both with no way to get speed to get on. Ummm…unless you set your skate behind it, took 2 steps and jumped on it. It became clear that the speed and burliness that we need to do our thing was impossible in this environment. Spicoli and Victor immediately (and loudly) voiced their disapproval of the course. Sean and Pat laughed at it. I shrugged and figured I’d just deal with it. Jordan was not surprised. He had
“Allen, one of the Premier team guys, wanted to try some Bi-deck style riding”
Sean D.
his own plans and weapons to deal with it.
We were treated to a beautiful, bluebird day of riding, spending most of the day hiking and filming. We were stoked to see our friend Rusty come down from Telluride to rip with us! Allen, one of the Premier team guys, wanted to try some Bi-deck style riding. Pat hooked him up with a Ralston ski and he mounted it on his Premier. He kept up with us all day and had the biggest ollies of all. We were all stoked on his instant ripping. A little mellow session at the snowskate park and we were done. Rusty pulled the best move of the trip by letting all stay at a friend’s nearby condo…and most importantly, allowing our rotten stinking asses to use the shower. Oh yeah. A hot shower and a cold beer can change your entire outlook. Pat and I found out we were related…We both have an uncle named Jim Beam. We consulted with him many times that night. Contest day. The morning was the qualifier, with the finals later in the day. Spicoli refused to ride the course on the grounds he would get hurt on such small jibs, but did agree to help judge the contest. Everyone rode the course the best they could…hell, even the Premier
“Allen was stoked on his new setup and decided to ride it in the finals…even at the risk of being disqualified”
Jordan Armstrong
guys weren’t too stoked on the setup. I suppose there’s only so much you can do when We all agreed that the best riding wouldn’t the Disney police expect a park course safe for be done in the course, but up on the hill. Upon the kids. But we rode...maybe a better term getting the lowdown on the contest, we found would be wrestled… the jibs in the squared out that we didn’t get our credentials due to circle. The Bi-decks had their own qualifing being 2 days late…which meant that we didn’t round, but once again the Disney police get the much sought after plastic card with stepped in, saying that they didn’t like the our picture on it so we can ride the lifts and name “Bi-deck” for whatever stupid reason and get into certain areas. The Disney police shut had us announced as the “Double decks”. What down any attempts to pass out any item… a crock of shit. The guy who invented them including shirts, videos, flyers, or anything…to called ‘em Bi-decks, and dammit, that’s what anybody. The Disney police also threatened to the hell they are. Victor, Pat, Rusty, Sean, confiscate snowskates being ridden outside the Jordan, and I stepped up to the challenge. Pat course, and took a cigarette right out of Sean’s hit the medium rail aggressive style with Rusty, mouth. Jordan swears it’s because we don’t Sean and Jordan were getting flippy off the use certain shaving gels or eat extreme pizza jump, while Victor and I searched for the odd rolls. The fine folks at Premier snowskates, Tim, lines to hit the most things. When the bell rang, Chip, and Carrie, knew of our hardships and Jordan, Sean, and I had made it to the finals. helped us out all they could. We were also We killed the time until the finals by hiking surprised that the guys on the Premier team already knew who we were, and were stoked to have us there. Since it was pretty late by now, we went back to Asspin and found a nice million dollar house to run the power cord to the Millenium Spico, and prepared for the next day of riding.
and filming. Allen was stoked on his new setup and decided to ride it in the finals… even at the risk of being disqualified.
“even funnier was my little fan club who insisted to Chip that I was gonna win.”
We hooked up the lifties with some schwag product and they let us ride all day. It was so much fun to spray the spectators...or as we called them, the X-Gapers…on the way into the lift line. We were totally beat when it was finals time, and here we go. Chip was on the mic announcing us as we walked to the top of the X-Gaymes Pro Snowskate invitational course. I laughed to myself when random people were shouting my name…even funnier was my little fan club who insisted to Chip that I was gonna win. I assured Chip that there’s always a chance that the other nine would get hurt. Still…we were all tired from riding all day… even the Premier guys. They had been slaying this course all day. We had a half hour of wrestling ahead. They rang the bell and it was on. Allen hit the medium rail with his Bi-deck setup and was disqualified, but laughed it off. Jordan and Sean had ollied the medium rail and were flipping away with Bjorn, Phil, and Matt of the Premier clan. I used my old school skills to the fullest with an acid drop, a no-comply, and a boneless off the drop that would’ve made Bill Danforth proud. Bjorn, Matt, and Jordan assaulted the flatdown box with kickflip front boards and lipslide fakies. Phil has a pro deck with Premier and backed it up with solid flip tricks off the jump and drop off. We all looked and laughed at each other when Chip announced “Only 15 more minutes to go…” We were all completely over it and were ready to quit…but the wrestling continued. Sean stuck a varial flip off the jump. Jordan was loudly smacking his setup on ollie 50-50’s down the medium rail. I got my 50-50 shove-it out of the same rail. The bell
rang and the match is over. Who will win the X-Gaymes Pro snowskate invitational title belt? After the judges meeting We had our placings: 1st- Matt Plays 2nd- Jordan Armstrong 3rd- Bjorn Ryan-Gorman For those wondering, Sean got 4th and I ended up 6th. We all were just glad it was over. Mission accomplished. We even got our foot in the door for being involved next year for the contest. Perhaps we can get some money together to appease the Disney gods and get a bigger course next time. After some goodbyes to our new friends in the Premier Clan, we got
Jordan Armstrong
the hell out of Asspin. One more mission: Ride Copper Mountain. We rolled out to our homie Matt Royer’s place, and were treated royally there. Everyone relaxed while Pat and I had another serious talk with Uncle Jim. The next day we met up with Billy K at Copper Mountain and got in one more day of riding and filming. Billy rides a small Salomon PP3, but was absolutely destroying it on the mountain. Jordan was going nuts…ollies onto rails at full speed. Pat caught some big airs in the park with Spicoli. Victor manned up to the ski-jump box which had a mandatory big ollie to get on. Billy had the lines on the rails…half cabbing to
them regularly. Multi-trick lines were busted out by all, and I took my nutsack to the limit by sticking a 50-50 on the over-waist-highrail. Before we knew it, ski patrol had closed the runs and we were finally done. We laughed and relaxed over several pitchers of Coors, and Billy’s drink…the vanilla stoli 7. Then it was time for the road. No Utah route this time, baby. We suffered through 30mph winds with 50mph gusts consistently through Wyoming. Many blown over semi trailers on the roadside. In Montana, the wind changed to white-out and the wrecks were stunning. An old truck was almost completely underneath a semi. Jordan was dropped off at Mark’s house in Idaho and greeted by 3 feet of snow on his truck. The weather continued through until about Spokane, then the ride got easier. Victor was dropped off at Snoqualmie and the load lightened tremendously. Home sweet home!
“Allen hit the medium rail with his Bideck setup and was disqualified, but laughed it off.”
Jordan Armstrong
Thanks to everyone who helped us out on this crazy adventure… Chip, Carrie, and Tim from Premier…Kelly from the X-Gaymes, Rusty for putting us up and letting us shower, The Utah State Troopers for not arresting anybody, Billy K for the discount tickets and drinks at Copper, Matt Royer for his home and hospitality, Pete Saari for footing the unbelievable gas bill on this trip, and of course, Uncle Jim.
LEAVITT PHOTO BY BOB COFEE
YOU GOTTA TRUST SOMEONE!!!