Issue #2 Vol #5 Winter 08
FREE FREE
E U S IS
! L P E U C V LSTON A RA ! TR BIG WHITE
TAHOE!
n t o u i v r e ol
Snowskate Shop Wenatchee, Washington
509-665-6662 revolutionsnowandskate.com
starfishsnowskatemagazine.com
starfishsnoskate@yahoo.com
QUOTES
A brief snowskate movie was recently featured on the Transworld Snowboarding web page, this is what some of the jocks had to say.
“Gayest god damn thing my eyes ever done see” Sally on how snowboard jocks view snowskating. “Ha, ha how dumd i just like watching um fall, and sacking them selves on rails” Dave on how easy it is to not sack yourself sliding rails on a snowboard. “Go get a snowboard. Wow, snowskating is for low class” Spencer on how mountains are only for upper class snowboard jocks. “I mean I appreciate what they are doing but honestly...who cares, go do it on an actual skateboard or something. We wouldn’t give a damn about this if it were on concrete and 4 wheels plus it is ten times more fun to bomb a hill on a skate” Dan on why snowboard jocks think bombing hills and sliding urban rails is so cool with bindings. “Way sicker that that Noboard nonsense” Bruce on the Florida Pow footage. “It takes balls to pull shit on a Snowboard” Butter Nuts on how scary it is to use bindings. “Keep snowskating to the backyards not the resorts, everyone in this video looks like a damn fool.” NEP on how cool it is to dress up like a clown and be an upper class snowboard jock. “Honestly, skates are for pussys looking for an excuse not to go bigger and throw down some spins and inverts” Mike on how easy riding with bindings is. “I fucking hate snowskaters” Jordan on how snowboard jocks are alot like skiers were 20 years ago.
I rode Big White Before You. Powder Mountain Too! By Brian Wilson ost of the M stories you will hear about being
the 1 snoskater to lay down tracks at any given hill involve sneaking in, bombing some runs and bailing quickly before getting caught. If caught, the story usually ends up with some negative st
DANE
confrontation, some clue as to how clipped tickets this game works. For and possibly being the first day and a banned from the hill. half, I asked every resort employee I Fuck that. saw if snoskating was allowed at I was on vacation Big White. Many and I wanted more blank stares and than a couple runs. a few “what’s a I wanted DAYS! I snoskate” responses used to work at a later, I figured out mountain so I had that they had not made an official decision to not allow snoskating.
PHOTO BY BIG JOHN **All photos courtesy of the Florida Powder Company
So armed with this knowledge, I skated from the village down to the Ski Patrol shack. I walked in with my skate, a smile and a not taking no for an answer determination. Ski Patrol Girl was behind the counter and as soon as she saw my skate she had a “NO” in her eyes. I calmly introduced myself and asked her who I needed to talk
with to get lift access on my skate. Being a good little ski patroller, she immediately said,
”NO!”
Game on… I ask her why and before she can answer, I ask her if it is a safety issue. If so, I would love to the opportunity to take a run with ski patrol to show them that this is not a toy. I want to introduce them to what a snoskate can do. Again the
answer is, “NO!” I then start in with the fact that I’ve worked at a resort for 5 years and that snoskates have had full chair access for 4 seasons now. Before she has a chance to let her personality shine through with another “NO,” in walks my Ski Patrol Hero #1. He instantly lights up
when he sees my skate and asks “Dude, what the hell is that, eh?” I introduce him to my GNU skate and he asks if he can take it in the back and show it off. Are you kidding me? take it away! I then look at Ski Patrol Girl and tell her that I know that they haven’t made any official determinations regarding snoskates. I asked if she could at least give me the opportunity to take my case up with her boss. I’m smiling like a mother fucker
because I know at this point she can’t say NO again. She reluctantly walks in the back to get her manager.
Out walks the manager and he asks if I’m the one who wants to skate his mountain? “Yes, sir I am!” I reply.
“NO!” Here I go again, I work at a mountain blah, blah, blah, 4 years of chair access blah, blah, blah.
“he a not y ctually th elling a at him nks me fo r and t good luck. ells me ” LEAVITT, PHOTO BY BIG JOHN
“NO, NO, NO”
keeps replying.
he
Finally after almost 15 minutes with the manager he finally breaks and gives me the information I’m looking for. He says “You work at an American resort right? Well, here in Canada we have different lift laws and insurance regulations considering foot traffic. Since you’re not connected to your skate, you would be considered foot traffic and we can’t allow you on the chairs.”
I counter with “So, you’re telling me that if I was connected to my skate on the chair I would be fine!?”. He smiles and says “You might want to talk to the LiftOps but yeah that would probably work.” I thank him for his time and I ask him how I get back up to the village. He says “Since I can’t let you ride your skate, I can at least get you a cool ride. I’ll radio one of my patrollers
WOLLE
“Oh yeah, for sure, eh” he replies. Half way up the hill we stop so he can show off me and my skate to Hero #2 who absolutely loses his mind at how cool it looks.
Wolle Nyvelt. Photo by Scott Sullivan
I share some snoskate love. I tell him he’ll dig it even more when I come blasting down the hill and back on the snowmobile I jump.
you ride your skate, I can at least get you a cool ride. I’ll radio one of my patrollers on a snowmobile to take you back”
About ¾ of the way up the hill, we pull over and Hero #1 says “I can’t go any higher or I’ll get in trouble, you ready?”. “Catch me if you can” I reply.
ding a e r p s just e m i t g.” me n o i s t a d k n “I spe ove of snos the l As I’m waiting he actually thanks me for not yelling at him and tells me good luck.
roll up on the snowmobile with a huge grin on his face.
I walk out of the office to see Ski Patrol Hero #1
“You gotta take me higher than the village” I plead.
I bombed this run with all I had, grinning the whole way down! I aim
TYSON, PHOTO BY LEAVITT
asks his final stupid question,
back for Hero #2 and slide right up to him before stepping off my skate and say, “You know you want one!” Hero#2 goes nuts as Hero #1 pulls up right behind me. They both start asking all kinds of questions and I spend some time just spreading the love of snoskating. Hero #1 has to bail, and as he does Hero #2 gives me a sly look and asks “You wanna try and ride the last chair with Patrol?” Are you fucking kidding me? Hell yeah I do!!! As we ride down to the chair, Hero #2’s jaw is wide open and his eyes are bugging out. After a quick introduction and a few skeptical looks, I get the green light to ride the chair. Half way up the chair, he looks at me and says “You know Tom Green was in the village last week with a plastic snoskate deck, but he didn’t make it on the chair. That
“You wanna clear the park with me?”
“he is SO gonna go get himself a snoskate!!!” ADAM B. PHOTO BY LEAVITT
makes you the 1 person to skate our mountain!” st
YEAH FUCKING ME!!! We start bombing this run and on the way down he asks me if I want
to try for another run. Again, are you fucking kidding me? Of course I do!! This time a couple of patrollers are on the chair and the radio starts going off. Hero #2 looks at me and
DANE ORVOLD, PHOTO BY BIG JOHN
So, I 50-50 a 15” funbox and straight air off the hip, roll out and look up and Hero #2 is going nuts screaming and waving his hands. I’ve got my very own one man cheering section! He drops down to me and tells me that he is SO gonna go get himself a snoskate!!! I thank him repeatedly, say goodbye and head back to the condo to bask in the afterglow of laying down the 1st skate tracks at Big White.
JACKSON! Lucky for me one of my snowboring friends broke the high back off of one of his binders, which left me the binder base. A trip into town to get a bolt, a fly nut and drill a hole in the deck of my skate and I now have a chair ready removable binding ready to ride the chairs legally. Worked like a champ too!!! By the time my friends had strapped in, I had removed the
binder base and put it into my backpack. Every run I had random boarders and skiers following me trying to figure out how the hell I was riding without binders. Rock Star!!! 3 days later I run into Hero #1 and show him my setup and explain how I got around the rules. He’s totally stoked for me and tells me he’s seen me ripping it up a few times
from the chair. He also says that he has been telling anyone who will listen, that he met the only snoskater on the hill and has been explaining how well the skate works to everyone!!! I thank him again and head out for my last turns of the trip.
“Ski Patrol is around the corner.” they reply.
The next year the annual trip headed for Powder Mountain in Utah. I walk in to the main office with the same question…
He looks at me then my skate, “You got metal edges?”
“Who do I have to talk to about riding my skate on your mountain?”.
“Yup”
As I’m walking in Ski Patrol sees me and comes up to me, so I throw it out there “I hear I need to talk to you about getting chair access on my skate.”
“Yup!” “You got a tether?”
“Enjoy the mountain!”
S
ERPENTINE MASSACRE
Saturday March 21st at Hyak. High noon.
2009 Event Schedule Jan 22-25 X Games, Aspen. Feb. 6th Southern Exposure, Ober Gatlinburg. March 8th Ralston Cup, Sierra Tahoe. March 9th BOnser Pipe Classic. March 21 Serpentine Massacre, Hyak March 28th Baked Slalom, Hurricane Ridge April 4th Minus 7 Mellee, Donner
photos by plwp
STARFISHSNOWSKATEMAGAZINE.COM
ZER
“Let's get it on!”
N O B T
PA
The
A
wakey wax your skatey! Sierra at Tahoe awaits. As usual, last to get there and register. Lag-o-latin' onto the course, we are greeted by Danny Sheehan on the mic. “Nice of you clowns to finally make it...maybe we can actually get started now”.
Dan is the man behind Ralston Snowskates and organizer of the event. Boy, did he ever go for it on this one. We have a full sized, feature filled course with it's own chair. A long, tall rail greets you first, with hips off the sides if you don't feel like risking your nutsack. Then a flat box in front of the judges table, to your choice of a gnarlier down rail, left hand hip, a C box, or small quarter with corrugated pipe on top. A small jump after that, or a large down box...you choose. Finally, you pick between a rather large battleship box, or carrying speed to the very wide 15 foot high quarterpipe at the bottom. Or, just skip all that noise, bomb it from the start and go off the 30 foot table into the next 50 foot table. Great line for quarterpipe speed. Got one... We luck out Let's get it on! and Superman Hurlbut #3 comes through with The turnout was huge. some smooth talking, People from all over were the paperwork, and the here. Snosk8er Rusty came rental minivan. from Telluride. The Minus Seven team came to Onward to South Lake, represent North Lake...all and Pat's house...home dressed in the same bowlof the Bonser Pipeline. We roll in around LITTLE 2:30am and pass out, BONZER eagerly awaiting the next morning's craziness known as the Ralston Cup. Zzzzz...
alston Cup mission
hhh...time once again to get it on in California. This year's trip promised to be a banger for sure. The biggest payouts in a snowskate contest EVER at the Ralston cup. A grand session would be going down at the Bonser Pipeline. Ripping Heavenly with the Ralston squad, Pat, and Sean D. Then a rally to Big Bear for a couple days of riding, filming, and problem causing. Sounds like a plan, huh?
Yet once again...looks good on paper, but most likely things will get screwed up somehow. So, let's roll the dice and see what really happens...
Flew in to Reno late night with Jake T. After the last driving debaucle to Colorado we're flying the friendly skies. Hurlbut #3 had an earlier flight and met us at the airport. Right away the fun starts as there seems to be no rental cars...Ah!
Up and at 'em! Wakey-
ing shirts. Mikey Weir took a break from worldwide fly fish slaying to get down and ride. Cam Doggie Dog was in full effect. I met Craig with Pioneer Snowskates, who had some fresh new rides. Pat “The Goblin” Quinn and Seth “Shambles” Hall were more than ready to show what the hell is up with Team Ralston, and Danny made sure I was properly hassled on the mic. “Hey Team Manager! You guys drink too much last night and can't get up in time to register with everyone else?” OK, gotcha. He's right. I've been lax in my kinda recently bestowed duties. Time to start being the TM, fools... OK, where the hell are my riders? Hurlbut #3 is over there ollieing a garbage can. Check.
Donny “Donut” Greene. Huh? Had to WHAT? WORK? Absent. And wouldn't be at Bear, either? Oh man...see this pink piece of paper? Your fired, Donny. I hear Premier is taking sponsor me videos. How about Quam? The Colorado Crusher? Absent. Fired. Ummm... wait a sec...Quam's a new dad. OK, we'll cut you some slack on that one. One excused absence per year to be a dad. Better be at Shut Up And Snowskate, or you're fired. Ok, all accounted for. Hell, I'm riding too. Dammit. The TM. Hah! I'm more like the waterboy. Fire-waterboy, that is. Hey Goblin! Is Uncle Jack here...?
sean d.
“Everyone is having fun and laughing it up.” First off is the slalom race. Best combined time. Oh yeah, that means don't fall at all. The course winded around between the jib line and jump line, end-
ing with a mandatory quarterpipe carve. Nice touch. So the winning formula = haul ass and don't blow it. Let's do it. Riders of all ages take on the course. Some
“Well, gotta admit that I didn't see it”
Jake the Ripper is bombing through a narrow tree gap. Check. The Davisizer is giving the course the evil eye with a smoke hanging off his lip like a spaghetti western outlaw. Check. All of the photos on this page are by Rusty
“I'm pretty much getting whiplash from the sheer number of stunts going down.� Photo by Rusty
stand, some fall. A 9 year old girl acts like she's scared, then proceeds to have a run that smokes half the old guys. Everyone is having fun and laughing it up. This is exactly the reason why I have to come to these events...100% pure love and satisfaction no matter what number you get in the end. It's evident that riders who got their runs in early had an advantage, as the course was getting rutted out. That didn't bother the Davisizer, though... as he clocks one of the fastest times of the day. I might've had a fast one if I didn't lose it while trying to flip Danny a BA during my run. Ahhh, it's all fun.
Seth, photo by Carrie
Next is the Am class. Well, gotta admit that I didn't see it...I was busy taking runs. Oh... and falling on my ass right square on the business end of angle iron. OWW! When we got back, rumors were flying about a Hawaiian ripper slaying the course. Right on! OK...pro class, for all the cash. Yeah, and the winner isn't gonna blow the whole wad at the bar shortly afterward, either. Let's get down. Cam Doggie immediately show solid runs. Jake demonstrates solid ollies. Hurlbut #3 somehow sticks a 270 air off a hip. The Davisizer slays boxes as usual while
being solid...as usual. I just saw, and heard, the corrugated pipe get slid. It's the pool coping of snowskating. Time for you to get up on some of that action, everyone. I'm pretty much getting whiplash from the sheer
number of stunts going down. Not to mention the sheer number of riders going down. Add me to that list... I misjudged the quarterpipe, fell 10 feet and Ass kissed the ice just like Donny. Who by the way, is soooo fired. Don't worry Don
GOBLIN!
Get down Goblin. Photo by Rusty
man...That last slam just got me fired, too. Two ass checks and automatic termination. I still somehow retain TM duties and the power to fire people. Damn, that slam took me out. Time to find the Goblin and Uncle Jack. Oh, there he is over there throwing down a 50 foot ollie. Things are crackin' off and here I am with a cracked ass. I tried to give up some stunts but things weren't really going my way. The course was slushing up in the California sun and things were getting slower. It all ended gracefully with everyone spent after the beating they had taken. Danny rounded up the scores and here's your results for the first-ever Ralston Cup:
1st Pat Quinn 2nd Jake Tomlinson 3rd Clarke Hurlbut 4th Sean Davis Overall, this was one hell of a day. Big time thanks to Danny, all involved with Ralston Snowskates, the Sierra park crew and Sierra for letting it happen. Top notch! Although the drinks were flowin' at
“A 9 year old girl acts like she's scared, then proceeds to have a run that smokes half the old guys.”
Photo by Rusty
the Sierra bar, I opted for the ditch out early with Bonsor program and get some of his legendary back yard snowskate paradise...the Bonsor Pipeline. Plus, there was a gallon of Uncle Jack there, not to mention a keg. The ensuing after party became a blur due to me and the Goblin deciding it was a good idea to have a whiskey drinking contest. “Is that how you drink in Washington?? Here's a California shot!” “You call THAT a shot?? Gimme that! THIS is how we drink down in Washington” And, back and forth. It's safe to say we both lost. I do remember that
the Davisizer filmed plenty of the wacky hijinx, so expect to see that in the next movie. There was some wrestling as well, and the Big Bear
trip got nixed due to lack of funds and the sheer stupidity of driving that far to snowskate when there's plenty of ripping
3 # E
K R A
CL
Photo by Jimmy Callian
to do in South Lake. The rest is fuzzy, go figure. Special thanks and huge ups to Mr. Bonsor for dealing with the vomiting. The next day saw the Pipeline Classic go down, and boy did it ever. Without a doubt, this was the biggest try snowskating day ever. The Veteran riders took the morning shift and were relieved by the 12 and under crowd in the afternoon. The kids mixed it up with the ladies and vets until the evening, where the ladies fully took over until well into the night. Pat made a head count of over 60 people...half of whom had never even stepped on a skate until this. Well now. If Danny is gonna keep the Ralston Cup going and Pat has the Pipeline Classic the next day...then I'm makin' reservations for the next 20 years. Why say no to this epic of a snowskate deal?!
pervision of the Ralston Wrestling Federation. 3. Whisky drinking contests are rigged against the participants. 4. Sacto ladies are unimpressed when you puke on yourself. 5. There are no WAMU branches in South Lake...but promise a casino that you'll gamble and they can magically access your bank account.
sean davis
What we learned on this trip: 1. Have proof of insurance paper for car rentals. 2. Don't fight, unless of course it's under the su-
**All photos by Rusty
Story by Shag
SNOWSKATE RESORT GUIDE USA
State Resort
CA Bear Mountain CA Boreal Mountain CA Dodge Ridge CA June Mountain CA Kirkwood CA Mammoth CA Mt. High CA Northstar at Tahoe CA Sierra at Tahoe CA Snow Summit CO Breckenridge CO Buttermilk CO Copper Mountain CO Crested Butte CO Keystone CO Loveland CO Telluride ID Schweitzer ID Silver Mtn ID Sun Valley IL Chestnut Mountain
IL Raging Buffalo IN Paoli Peaks IN Perfect North ME Sunday River MI Bittersweet MI Caberfae MI Holiday Hills MI Marquette Mountain NC Appalachian Ski Mtn. NC Wolf Laurel NC Hawk's Nest NH Loon Mountain NH Waterville Valley NM Angel Fire OR Hoodoo OR Mt. Hood Meadows OR Timberline OR PA Ski Liberty PA Ski Round Top PA Whitetail TN Obergatlingburg UT Brighton UT Snowbird VT Smuggler's Notch VT Stowe VT Stratton VT Sugarbush WA WA Hurricane Ridge WA WA Mt Baker WY WA Mt Spokane
CANADA
Summit at Snoqualmie Steven's Pass Snow King
Province Resort AB Castle Mountain AB Canada Olympic Park AB Hidden Valley AB Lake Louise AB Marmot Basin AB Nakiska AB Rabbit Hill AB Snow Valley AB Sunshine AB Tawatinaw BC Fernie BC Mt. Seymour BC Red Mtn BC Whistler BC BC Whitewater NS Martock NS Wentworth QC Mont-Comi Park QC Tremblant Tyso n by Big John
“Early grabs are LAME.” deck.
Jake Narkawicz
When did you start snowskating? I really got into it in 2006 Influences? I started because I saw Shut up and Snowskate and it was sick. Then I started riding more because my snowboard was
Primordia Name: Jake Narkawicz
Home: Coventry Rhode Island
Age: 15
Flat or Bi-deck? Both Mostly Bi-
to small and I got pretty good. When did you first see Starfish Magazine? Some local guy and the
STARFISH AND FLORIDA powder DOLPHIN SHIRTS NOW AVAILABLE $10 STARFISHSNOWSKATEMAGAZINE.COM
internet. Early of Late grabber? Early grabs are LAME. Who is on the best snowskater in the world right now? Sean Davis. How many Red Bulls a day? They just make you crash in like 30 minuets. Who is you dream sponser? Lib Tech. Who do you need to thank? Loon Mountain, My Family, Friends and all people supporting snowskating.
PLUTO SPORTS IS HOME TO THE WORLDS FIRST SNOWSKATE COUNTER, VANS SNOWSKATE SHOES. ROCKER TRUCKS. GRIP, MOUNTING HARDWARE AND LIB BOARDS IN STOCK NOW. WHY WAIT?
WWW.PLUTOSPORTS.COM
PLUTO SPORTS WEST 245 N. Seven Oaks Dr Knoxville, TN. 37922 PLUTO SPORTS 865-693-8990 1723-C Cumberland Ave Knoxville, TN, 37916 865 523-0045
m u i d o P Pluto Sports has opened their new store in West Knoxville. This new shop features the worlds first snowskate exclusive counter. The counter is stocked with Rocker Trucks, Banana snowskates and Vans in three colors. The CCS Catalog is no longer selling complete Fuse snowskates. They are selling skates that feature Fuse ski’s. For complete Fuse Boards go to their web page. Snowskaters are well represented on the new Spacecraft Litter sheet. Many of the snowboarders including Kurt Jensen, Jesse Burtner, BJ Lienes and Reed Silberman have opted to use only one binding. Come on guys, your halfway there. The Litter sheet is a not for profit venture and all procedes go to the schools in Bali, Indonesia. These schools will teach kids to work long hours in factories making hats for pennies. Any race fans still pissed that Shut Up And Snowskate was canceled will feel better knowing that Starfish and Red Bull
are teaming up to create the Serpentine Massacre at Hyak on Saturday March 21st at high noon. The race format is still undecided but something is going down at noon. Olympic event coordnator Frank The Tank has decided that the Olympics need Shut Up and Snowskate. The Olympic Commitee has bought out Krush and the whole event is back on at Hurricane Ridge. The guys at TWS decided to check out how their readers, mostly jocks would react to a snowskate video on their web page. So Transworld premiered a poorly edited and striped down version of the Starfish Comercial. The comercial was viewed 17,000 times in less than a week. Many of the TWS readers, mostly jocks reacted with outrage. This proves what Starfish scientists have known for years, jocks don’t like skaters. Rocker Trucks will be releasing a limited amount of green colored “Goblin” trucks. Good luck finding them.
After his feature in the Primordia section of the last Starfish Adrian Rassmusen was recently seen signing autographs for local hotties at The Mission in West Seattle. With a fake Mustache making him look older, the eleven year old
snowskate star had the older women worked up into a frenzy. As the women lined up Adrian patiently signed magazines and body parts. Rumors are now circulating that some of these autographed copies are already selling on ebay for as much as 10$.
“I will be using a Pain-inthe-Ass scale”
Clarke #3 Photo by Jimmy Callian
the local Sheriff are waiting for you in the parking lot as you pull in). I also apologize in advance for the lack of photographic evidence but when consulted about tips to improve my pictorial record taking, the editors at Starfish Magazine ultimately had this to say,
T
he 2007-2008 season was a good year for Minus 7. Besides getting the company up and running, we got a chance to ride more resorts than ever before. I thought I might review some of these resorts to
By Kurt Zapata let you know where you’re welcome and where your not. In an effort to provide an efficient rating system I will be using a Pain-in-the-Ass scale of 0 (scantily clothed Lifties
of your choice in gender and sexual preference, carry you from your car to the chair, all the while cooing words of encouragement in your ear) to 10 (several no-neck Security Officers and
“My real advice is to befriend a photo dog and bribe them with products.” Boy did that statement boost my confidence. One final word of caution; “these reviews are the opinions of the reviewer solely, are intended
for entertainment purposes only, do not reflect the ethics of Starfish Magazine and will not be regarded as a condemnation of endorsement of the reviewed resorts themselves.”
Prices: Weekend- $38 all day/ $30 half day, Weekday- $15 History: One of the first resorts to allow snowboards on the hill. Stats: 6 Lifts, 460 Acres, Base Elevation 7031ft, Summit Elevation 7781ft, Average Snowfall: 33ft Review: I’ve been riding the bi-deck at Donner Ski Ranch for the past 6 seasons, starting with a janky model my brotherin-law built out of sled-dog skis, a Santa Cruz vert deck separated by a stack of plywood, and have been welcomed since the get-go. Initially the management and staff were puzzled by this strange board sans bindings but encouraged me to take it anywhere I wanted. And I wanted to take it everywhere. Hell, once while riding Lift 1 to the top I overheard ski patrol on the chair behind me wagering $20 that I would be in their bucket before the first steep. Not one to let sleeping dogs lie, I got off
I L N B O ! G
of the chair, waited for the 2 ski patrol guys and took both of their $20 bets. I made it to the bottom of the hill, earned their respect but am still waiting to be paid out my $40. The mountain at Donner Ski Ranch has something for almost everybody. Steeps, cornices, natural hits, gulleys; you name it and you can find it. And there in lies the rub; you have to know the mountain to find the goods. You can roll up and ride all day but unless someone shows you ‘The Hippy Hit’ or ‘Secret Trail’ you probably
aint gonna find them. And if you’ve come to get your park on, you are crap out of luck; there ain’t none. This past season a half hearted attempt at Terrain construction was initiated at Donner Ski Ranch that culminated with one of the worst park set-ups I’ve seen to date.
to develop a few Terrain Features. The 08-09 season will be a little different… Rating: Donner Ski Ranch has earned a 2 in the Painin-the-Ass scale for its welcoming attitude yet lack of Park Terrain. True you’re welcome everywhere but you still gotta know where to look. PS. Look above the bar and there is a seventies era Swingbo snowskate
On Midway, an injury inducing “Park” awaited you, consisting of a steep metal rail (with added kinked surface for your enjoyment) to explosion guaranteed volcano, to random assortment of melting lumps of snow meant to available for demo, resemble jumps (I courtesy of Kyle P! think?). But with Kingvale that said I have been consulting with Terrain Project the Management at Donner Ski Ranch Price: $22 any day/
Kingvale Terrain Project
All day, $129.99/ Season Pass History: (from their ever informative website), “For the first time in North America, snowboarders have banned (sic) together to purchase and create Tahoe’s only
all park resortThe Kingvale Terrain Project… The Kingvale team has more than 25 years combined experience building snowboarding terrain for resorts all over the country…According to founder Day Franzen “It was a lifelong dream to have a resort built with snowboarding
in mind.”
Stats: Not Available, but what you see (above) is about all there is Review: With its heavy emphasis on snowboard culture and lifestyle you’d think that the Kingvale Terrain Project would be a veritable noman’s land for the snowskater. You would be dead wrong. The fellas at Kingvale Terrain Project have been incredibly hospitable when it comes to riding their resort, even welcoming us to their night contests. Think
of it this way; if hitting a collection of crazy crap is your thing then consider this your private training ground. Likened to a snow covered explosion in a Meth Head’s junk strewn backyard, the Kingvale Terrain Project has everything you can imagine and then some. Let me put it this way; the first time I rode there the fellas had dug out the mini-ramp and were skating surrounded by snow! My partial catalogue of features goes like this; the standard boxes, rails, hips and tables, pole-jam, a wide variety of metal tanks, wall rides, some basically indescribable hits and Alpine Meadow’s derelict mini-bus. If you do get to the Kingvale Terrain Project try to hook up with their one and only snowskater;
Logan (I believe is his name). He may be riding an old Burton Junkyard but this guy rips! (PS. Logan sorry about the lack of visual aids, I got the pic of ollie on, shove-it off, of the straight box but like it was pointed out; I don’t got the eye). Rating: I’m actually really conflicted on this one. Currently, with its lack of steeps and accessibility to the hill provided by a rope tow that doesn’t go to the top of the
terrain park so you still gotta hike, I want to rate the Kingvale Terrain Project at a 3 in the Painin-the-Ass scale but that doesn’t really do the place justice. The resort is unbelievable and ever-changing in configuration so no-one should get bored. The Kingvale Terrain Project already has some top of the line grooming equipment and with the impending addition of an actual Lift, will lower this resort’s Pain-in-the-Ass rating considerably.
Homewood Prices: M-Th Non Holiday $39, Fri –Sun Peak $53 and Holiday Period $58
History: “In the early 1960s, a local youth (Ron Rupp) hauled skiers on a rope tow up what would become Homewood’s mountain. When he was drafted to serve in the Vietnam War, another local stole the rope tow and moved it south to Tahoe Ski Bowl.” http://www. geocities.com/ dtmcbride/tahoe/ hmwdhst.html
Stats:1260 Acres, Base Elevation of 6230’, Summit Elevation of 7880’, 1650 Vertical Feet, 7 Lifts, 60 Runs and 2 Terrain Parks Review: The mountain at Homewood is a riddle, wrapped in a mystery, inside of an enigma. Looking up from the parking lot, all you can ask yourself is “Is that all there is?” You can see 2 runs
coming straight down the hill. That’s it. However, ride up the Madden Triple Chair and Homewood Mountain Resort opens up to the rider like a present on Christmas morning. The Lifties are cool with the snowskate and the entire hill is yours for the taking, so go find your thing. If steeps are it; try hiking Quail Face for some serious speed and powder; not many people have the juice to make it. Natural Terrain? You got it in the Hobbit Land Bowl with hits, trees and the occasional creek gulley. Finally you have your choice between 2 snowboard designed Terrain Parks that raise the pucker level to 11. I’m talking about 50’ tables with the enormous cheese wedge launch that make you almost
wish for bindings if you only could bring yourself that low. Rating: Homewood Mountain Resort has earned a 2 in the Pain-inthe-Ass scale. True, Homewood has pretty much everything you’re looking for in a Resort but it’s out of the way location on highway 89 of the west shore of Lake Tahoe and
Northstar
seemingly tiny size did raise its rating one point on the Pain-in-the Ass scale.
schedules, even I can’t keep the freakin’ ticket Prices: I used to prices straight. work as a groomer at Northstar and to You’re just gonna be honest with you have to go there between the special and bargain with them. ticket prices, holiday ticket History: “The prices, blackout Fibreboard periods and event
DO CAM RusGty! by Photo
Corporation established its first industrial insulation plant in Emeryville, California, in 1884, beginning a 112year tenure in the East Bay area of San Francisco that included its acquisition by Louisiana-Pacific Corporation in 1976 and then its divestiture by the giant, Oregon-based forest products company slightly more than a decade later. After Fibreboard was
cut loose from the aegis of LouisianaPacific Corporation in 1988, the company not only owned sizeable timberland and operated a wood products division but also oversaw Northstar-at-Tahoe, a ski resort in northern California developed during the 1970s on company acreage.” http://www. fundinguniverse. com/companyhistories/ FibreboardCorporation-
“I would describe it as great place to blow the minds of jaded snowboarders.” Company-History. html Stats: 2490 Acres, Base Elevation 6330’, Summit Elevation 8610’, Annual Snowfall 350” and 17 lifts. Review: Lets be honest. “Flatstar” isn’t the steepest mountain. And as such, they made
! D n a e S
a decision a few years ago to develop state of the art terrain features and develop state of the art terrain features they did. I’m not going to bother to list all of the features or areas because Northstar is a corporate ski resort so snow-
skaters are only allowed on lifts with gondola cars. The management is convinced that we can’t get off of the lift without running and punching holes in the ramp (so people, learn to bomb drop off of the lift, dammit). That means besides the village run, accessed from the gondola to midmountain (don’t waste your time until the last run of the day and then hit the boardercross run off to Photo b y Jimmy Callian
“If it were easy it would have bindings.”
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skier’s right for a little last minute fun) you are only allowed access on the Tahoe Zephyr Express and that chair has 3-4 gondola cars so expect to wait for awhile. Once at the top of the Northwest Territories, you have your choice of runs but look for the Burton Progression Park called “The Stash”. In typical
Burtonese hype ‘The Stash’ is described as “a place where riders can progress their all-mountain skills in a fun, natural environment that features tree runs, road jumps and jibs all constructed with wood logs and other natural materials. The Stash is designed with a combination of park riding with a big mountain feel.” I would describe it a great place to blow
the minds of jaded snowboarders. Now as I pointed out, The Zephyr Chair is the only lift that we’re allowed on, but if you can’t resist temptation, then two rules need to be adhered to religiously. Poseur Terry Parker put the first one succinctly; “don’t make eye contact.” You are just riding a small snowboard
without bindings so you don’t need to ask permission, cause you aint gonna get it. Lastly, once ski patrol catches up with you (and they will hunt you down) deflect any of their anger and confusion by declaring that you inquired about accessibility with an un-named employee lower down the hill and apologize
Jake Photo by Rusty
the Zephyr Chair to get to the top of the hill. That whole trip takes over an hour and then they place is packed with snowboarders who loudly proclaim that they are the next big thing. However, Northstar has a tendency to stay open later in the season than most other resorts, so when presented with the choice of ride or no ride, the answer is simple.
Photo by Jimm y Callian profusely for any inconvenience that you may have caused. One word of warning; be ready to make the scene. If you don’t show up attired like some god-forsaken, neon bright, saggin, loud
mouthed human peacock that you aint representin’ yo. Rating I have to admit that Northstar-at-Tahoe has earned a 5 in the Pain-in-the-Ass scale for a laundry list of offenses. Besides the whole
“You’re only allowed on Zephyr Chair,” thing, you’re supposed to park out by the highway, get on a shuttle to the village, buy your pass, take a gondola to midmountain and then wait for the one of the gondola cars on
So that’s it for the resorts this year and it’s back to hiking up to patches, mappin’ out next year’s plan of attack and trying not to get too hurt this summer. Thanks for reading and try to remember “If it were easy it would have bindings.”