SOAR's Behavior Management Guide for Families

SOAR'S BEHAVIOR MANAGEMENT GUIDE

FOR FAMILIES

BY JOHN WILLSON

SOAR’s Behavior Management Guide For Families Over the years, SOAR has utilized a host of strategies to produce effective and supportive results for youth with learning and attention challenges. We have broken them out by category:

1. General Guidelines 2. Individual Strategies 3. Family Strategies 4. Communication Strategies

1. General Guidelines Think proactively - respond, don’t react Utilize the concepts of choice & self-governance Shape behavior by attending to positive behavior at a rate three times that of negative behavior Model the behaviors you desire to facilitate Find ways to give your child power and control Consider modifying the environment to produce behavioral results Eliminate environmental factors which trigger inappropriate behavior Step away from a situation when you are getting angry or growing frustrated Never take misbehavior personally. Focus on your child's strengths Consistency or nothing Create routine Choose to ignore some behaviors Use humor while being careful to distinguish between humor and sarcasm Keep the learning process fun Set high expectations Utilize strategies that facilitate self-sufficiency Prearrange a non-verbal cue Redirect with a simple touch to the arm followed by a nonverbal cue

2. Individual Strategies Set clear logical/natural consequences for anticipated negative behavior Utilize role-playing to communicate/reinforce a specific behavior Analyze behavior as: attention-seeking, or impulsive vs. defiance If misbehavior is due to impulsiveness, then either uses cues, redirection or do nothing Set clear, attainable goals and evaluate progress regularly. Celebrate progress!!

Ensure timely administration of medications Utilize contracts of behavior Have your child identify environmental factors which trigger inappropriate behavior Use time-out as necessary Anticipate transition issues Encourage use of 'I' statements: “I am ______ because ______.”

“I want __________.”

Involve your child in determining consequences Reinforce verbal praise with a handshake, pat on the back, hug, etc.

Redirect your child when you sense escalating frustration or aggressive behavior

Individual Strategies Continued Differentiate between disapproval of misbehavior and appreciation for your child’s self-worth Focus on individual interests and strengths Allow your child to take time to themselves when they feel it is necessary Offer several options when discussing consequences Require three positive things (put-ups) for every “killer statement” (put down) Have your child negotiate a conflict until they agree on what happened and an appropriate consequence

3. Family Strategies Ensure consistency between adults Utilize defined group roles which rotate on a regular schedule Outline responsibilities with role cards Involve your child in setting guidelines Call a meeting to reinforce an accomplishment Prepare your child for transitions Use a " talking stick " or similar prop in family meetings, indicating who has the floor to speak Allow your child to call a meeting Use a "Full Value Contract" to modify behavior Set time goals Develop a family constitution that helps govern expectations at home for all

4. Communication Strategies Rephrase comments such as “that’s not bad” to “well done!”

Give consequences in a calm, quiet voice when dealing with an agitated youth, engage them at or below their eye level When giving praise make eye contact Allow your child to disengage eye contact when being admonished Refrain from sarcasm or put-downs Write down instructions when necessary, and have your child record them in their own words Have your child paraphrase instructions to communicate understanding Use props (charts/timers/to-do-list) Whenever possible, do not address misbehavior in a group setting Do not talk until you know your child is listening Remind yourself to listen more than you talk Speak in concise sentences. Do not carry on a monologue for more than 3 minutes Encourage and reward questions Ask short questions State instructions one at a time

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Main Office PO Box 388 226 SOAR Lane Balsam, NC 28707 (p) 828-456-3435 (f) 801-820-3050 admissions@soarnc.org