LOVE & RELATIONSHIPS
WHY DO People
CHEAT? H
ave you ever wondered what compels a person to cheat? The reality is, people will cheat for many reasons, and a new study published in ‘The Journal of Sex’ research found the biggest reasons why people are unfaithful; a lack of sexual satisfaction in the relationship. A panel of researchers conducted a survey of 495 adults with an average age of 20 who were asked if they’ve ever cheated in a relationship and if so, what was their motivation. Since the survey was non-specific questions, researchers grouped the responses by commonality to find that there were 77 separate motivations for infidelity. Among all the reasons given, the number one reason as to why people cheat was due to the unsatisfied sex, they felt unloved as if their partner did not care enough to make them feel satisfied. In fact, 77 percent of the responses either explicitly stated, they fell out of love; while the motivation came from the person feeling unloved. Shula Malamed, relationship coach, stated the lack of love could mean the person felt a lack of appreciation or playfulness from their partner. On the other hand, a healthier approach to deal-
36- SOFNDOPEMAGAZINE.COM - FALL 2020
Article by Chayo Briggs
ing with these issues would be to build stronger communication skills with the domestic partner. Shula, warns that the word ‘love’ is a verb, meaning it requires action to keep the relationship growing. In any intimate bond between people, love needs to be nurtured, replenished, and not taken for granted. So, the lack of love in the relationship is the biggest motivator to cheat, but is this the only reason? Some other studies reported that infidelity showed over 10% across adulthood, with a peak of 20% occurring for couples in their 40s. Those who discover their partner’s unfaithfulness regard the experience as “shattering” and believe that it signals the end of the relationship. Then only if the relationship is going to recover, the cheating partner must admit to being remorseful. Now, something odd is the couples who face an affair but don’t get divorced are happier in their marriage if they remain together. The action causes them to build communication skills thereby, strengthening the bond. However, both parties must be committed to making the relationship work. In some cases, strongly held religious beliefs might prevent partners from seeking a divorce causing some deep-seated resentments to grow. However, couples
use their religion to help get through the difficulties of dealing with the infidelity said they found ways to handle the affair much more effectively. In summary, by recognizing that infidelity is a symptom of an unhappy marriage, can lead to increased intimacy. The second most common reason was the desire to have additional sexual encounters. Now, many of the studies found that people were reluctant to admit their lust for additional sexual encounters. For example, one man in the study stated that he felt he needed more sex in his life to reward him for performing well at his job. Some other common reasons are a situational reason. For example, “I was at
