NC Pride Guide 2017-2018 by Joshua Smith

Partners on the thirty-third annual NC Pride Night Fest

SEPT 28-30 Over 25 LGBT Parties and Events in Raleigh, Durham, Chapel Hill, Carrboro & Greensboro For a complete listing of NC Pride Night Fest Events, please visit ncpride.org.

Gold Sponsor

Welcome to the 2017-2018 edition of the North Carolina Pride Resource Guide. As you look through this guide during the year, remember our advertisers and sponsors. Every one of them has made a stand for equal rights for all in North Carolina. Gold Sponsors

Community Sponsors

Nissan Bud Light PNC Bank Hendrick Alfa Romeo FIAT - Cary Biogen Glaxo Smith Kline Legends Club Pepsico Suntrust Capital Chrysler, Jeep, Dodge Camping World of Raleigh

Carolina Partners in Mental Health Sugarland Chapel Hill Restaurant Group Anthony Armento, CPA Triangle Financial Advisors Flex Club Frisky Business Maxx Emporium The Bar Madhatter’s Café Saladelia Café

Partner Sponsors Replacements, Ltd Whole Foods RHO Tito’s Vodka

Media Sponsors Indy Week

Hotel Sponsors 21c Museum Hotel Durham

To advertise in next year’s Pride Guide, send an email to info@ncpride.org

Spanning North Carolina, our 33rd annual NC Pride Celebration is the oldest Gay, Lesbian, Bisexual and Transgender event in our state. This guide is published once a year and distributed throughout the state during the year. The ads are mirrored on our websites.

Pride Across NC......................................................................................................................... 3-36 Advertisers.................................................................................................................................32-33 Sponsors..............................................................................................................................................4 Publisher and Editor....................................................................................................John Short Graphic Design..........................................................................................................Joshua Smith Sales......................................................................................................................................Dan Sams

In Memoriam:

Gilbert Baker

(1951-2017)

Creator of the rainbow flag

This year NC Pride celebrates the life, legacy, and art of Gilbert Baker, creator of the rainbow flag. In 1978, Gilbert stitched together eight strips of “vibrantly colored fabric” to instantly create “an enduring symbol of gay pride.” While the flag originated in California and has undergone modifications, it is now used worldwide as a symbol of lesbian, gay, bisexual, and transgender social movements. The cover of our Pride guide displays the Latin motto, “Dum spiro sperro,” which translates to “While I breathe, I hope.” The vibrancy of the colors of Pride will never dim! Now more than ever, the NC Pride Committee appreciates the 2003 gift of a 25-foot signed and numbered section of the 1.2 mile “sea-to-sea” rainbow flag displayed in Key West to commemorate the 25th anniversary of Gilbert’s creation.

— Photo by Gareth Watkins (Own work), via Wikimedia Commons

Community Sponsor 6

For listings of Clubs and Organizations across North Carolina, go to www.ncgaytravel.com

Who Are These People? Burt Bacharach

Who are these people that keep telling those lies? And how did these people get control of our lives And who started the violence ‘cause it’s out of control Make them stop Who are these people that destroy everything? And sell off the future for whatever it brings And what kind of leaders can’t admit when they’re wrong Make them stop This stupid mess we own just keeps getting worse So many people die indeed in sin Looks like these lies will inherit the earth Even pretending to pray and getting away with it Who are these people that keep telling us lies? And how did these people get control of our lives And who started the violence ‘cause it’s out of control We got to make them stop Who are these people that keep telling us lies? And how did these people get control of our lives And who started the violence ‘cause it’s out of control Make them stop See things really have to change or we’re all f*cked

Songwriters: Bacharach, Burt F/Krikorian, Steven M. Lyrics © Warner/Chappell Music, Inc.

Community Sponsor Community Sponsor Gold Sponsor

SunTrust proudly supports North Carolina Pride.

SunTrust Bank, Member FDIC.Â ÂŠ2015 SunTrust Banks, Inc. SunTrust and How can we help you shine? are federally registered service marks of SunTrust Banks, Inc.

Community Sponsor To advertise in next yearâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Pride Guide, send an email to info@ncpride.org

For listings of Clubs and Organizations across North Carolina, go to www.ncgaytravel.com

www.dosperrosrestaurant.com

You’re about to get

DELICIOUSLY

LUCKY. WWW.JUJUDURHAM.COM

SHOPS AT ERWIN MILL ● 737 NINTH ST DURHAM

For listings of Clubs and Organizations across North Carolina, go to www.ncgaytravel.com

Community Sponsor 14

To advertise in next yearâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Pride Guide, send an email to info@ncpride.org

Gold Sponsor

you’re ready for this chapter and the next. you’re ready for this chapter and the next.

At PNC Bank, we understand everyone’s financial goals are unique. Whether you’re focusing on today or planning for the years to come, we’re dedicated to providing tools, At PNC Bank, we understand everyone’s services and guidance that can give you the insight you financial goals are unique. need to achieve the goals you want through every stage of Whether you’re focusing on today or planning for the life. years to come, we’re dedicated to providing tools, services and guidance that can give you the insight you pnc.com/lgbt need to achieve the goals you want through every stage of life. pnc.com/lgbt

We help you take PRIDE in your garden! 5217 Atlantic Avenue

www.atlanticavenuegarden.com

919-878-8877

Suicide Prevention Dana M. Cea — Chair, North Carolina Chapter, American Foundation for Suicide Prevention

At times, we are given a problem with no solution — or told what we did wrong but not how to do it right the next time. This was how I felt after I learned that my dad had died by suicide. Like most survivors of suicide loss, I started researching suicide — and only too late learned the warning signs: • Talk: burden, trapped, unbearable pain, no reason to live, killing themselves • Behavior: increased use of alcohol or drugs, looking for ways to kill themselves, change in activities (withdraw/increased outgoingness), change in sleep (too much/too little), giving away prized possessions • Mood: down, loss of interest, irritable, angry, shameful, anxious I learned too late the risk factors: • Health: mental health disorders, substance use disorder, serious or chronic health condition and/or pain • Environmental: stressful live events, prolonged stress factors, access to lethal means, exposure to suicide • Historical: previous suicide attempts, family history of suicide attempts My dad had most of these risk factors and was showing all of the warning signs. After learning about what I should have been looking for, I started researching what I could do about it the next time I saw the warning signs and risk factors in someone else (including myself). What I found was that I could: • Talk to the person about my concerns • Ask directly if they were having thoughts of suicide (Are you having thoughts of suicide? Have you thought of killing yourself?) • Listen to them, for as long as they needed • Get additional help (doctor, mental health professional, suicide prevention hotline) • If immediate danger: call 911 and ask for CIT (Crisis Intervention Trained) officer The saying goes “Hindsight is 20/20,” and I so wish I had the tools and knowledge that I now have, prior to my dad’s death in 2011. Suicide is a problem — it’s a health problem, and it’s a problem that affects the LGBTQ+ community in particular. I encourage everyone to learn more: take a suicide prevention training, look into the suicide prevention hotlines and available resources online, reach out to others, and take care of yourself. As a queer, cisgender woman who advocates for suicide awareness, I was honored to write this piece for the NC Pride Guide. My work in suicide awareness has opened my life to more opportunities than I could ever count and more priceless relationships with others that I will never forget. This is a tough subject, but through my work I am able to bring others understanding, comfort, and hope. Please join me in my fight to #StopSuicide. I promise we will have a little fun along the way. If you are in crisis, call 1-800-273-8255.

In Honor of Chance G. Fitts, July 19,1993 - July 27, 2016

Gender & Sexual Diversity Initiative We are queer and genderqueer savvy and understand that there are as many genders as there are people.

GSDI Services: Education and Trainings for professionals working with the LGBTQQIA+ community Assessment and referrals for transgender individuals seeking medical treatment PTSD & Trauma Treatment Anxiety & Depression Addiction & Recovery Life changes and general wellness goals Somatic Experiencing for trauma treatment Assessment for Mental Health and Addictions

Community Sponsor

Family and couples sessions to address transitions and coming out LGBTQQIA+ affirming therapy

Online resource list of trans-competent providers

For more information visit:

WWW.GSDIVERSITY.COM

Certified Public Accountant

Work Smarter, Not Harder. Your Life Awaits!

A Full-Service Accounting Firm Serving Individuals, Businesses and Not-For-Profit Organizations. Tax Return Preparation • Bookkeeping • Payroll Financial Statements • Consulting and Advisory Services

919-933-3421

5% Off First Invoice

Community Sponsor

A N T H O N Y F. A R M E N T O , C PA , P C

www.afacpa.com

1502 West NC Highway 54, Suite 503, Durham, NC

Gold Sponsor 20

For listings of Clubs and Organizations across North Carolina, go to www.ncgaytravel.com

Partner Sponsor

The Quiet Allure of the Rainbow Flag For many years, I had mixed feelings about the rainbow flag, whose creator, Gilbert Baker, died on Friday. Growing up in the 1980s as a closeted bisexual, I chose, if only half-consciously, to align myself with other identities that allowed me to avoid any allegiance to a scorned minority group, of which I had mostly negative images. The rainbow seemed cheesy as an LGBTQ symbol, conveying in my mind a forced, overly sentimental vision of diversity then being celebrated in my progressive high school. The rainbow, of course, has significance well beyond queer liberation. It appears in nature as the sign of a storm’s end. In the Bible, God tells Noah after the flood that the rainbow marks his promise to protect life on earth from destruction in the future. It was since used by pacifists to symbolize peace, by hippies to represent love, and by Jesse Jackson in the name of his civil rights organization, the Rainbow Coalition. But the rainbow as gay pride symbol seemed to pack the biggest punch. And even as a teenager trying to float above the LGBTQ fray, there was something about it that appealed to me. That quiet allure was likely connected — again, largely outside my conscious mind — to my boyhood love of The Wizard of Oz and Judy Garland’s aching but buoyant rendition of “Over the Rainbow.” Since that 1939 world debut, millions upon millions of queer kids have identified with Dorothy’s yearning to close her eyes and wake up somewhere “far, far away, behind the moon, beyond the rain,” a place where “troubles melt like lemon drops.” So have non-queer kids, of course, and adults for that matter — anyone who ever felt a gulf between their needs or aspirations and their capacity to meet or attain them. But to those of us who spent a youth terrified that we had no earthly future worth reaching, little could compare to the flight of imagination: What could more surely make this inner storm end but a celestial place where dreams replaced troubles and happy little bluebirds flew free? Like Dorothy, Gilbert Baker was from Kansas. Unlike Dorothy, Baker eventually landed in San Francisco in 1972, where he encountered and helped advance a burgeoning queer liberation movement. The country’s bicentennial celebration in 1976 made American flags suddenly ubiquitous, and Baker, who threw himself into the hive of activism centered on Castro Street, began to think that LGBTQ people needed a flag of their own. “A flag fit us as a symbol,” he realized one day. “We are a people, a tribe if you will. And flags are about proclaiming power.” When the gay San Francisco political pioneer, Harvey Milk, sought an iconic image for a 1978 march he was organizing just months before his assassination, he turned to Baker, known as a crackerjack “seamstress.” (Baker’s grandmother owned a women’s clothing store that had always enthralled the boy, and learning to sew was a dream he achieved only after leaving Kansas for the Castro.) Baker dyed and stitched the first official gay pride rainbow flag with help from more than two dozen other activists in the attic of the city’s Gay Community Center.

For listings of Clubs and Organizations across North Carolina, go to www.ncgaytravel.com

When the huge, handmade flags first rose on Gay Freedom Day that June, “It was like a bolt of lighting went right through my head,” Baker recalled. “I knew it was going to change me, that it was the most important thing I’d ever do.” He was right. And it changed millions of others as well. Over time, the rainbow flag has become a beacon to LGBTQ people worldwide. New York’s Museum of Modern Art recognized its importance by adding the flag to its design collection in 2015. As a colorful symbol literally appearing in nature, it lent credence to the affirming notion that sexual minorities were naturally occurring, beautiful variations on a theme, rather than sinful, sick or criminal deviations from the only acceptable norm. It built on the early history of queer life by echoing the brightly colored displays that gays and lesbians used to pin on lapels or tuck into pockets to signal the shape of their hearts. It expressed solidarity with the anti-war and civil rights movements that helped launch queer liberation. It paid homage to Oz. After a period of inner evolution, I suppose the rainbow grew on me just as it was designed to — from a mostly unconscious symbol of hopeful escape to one of pride, liberation and, eventually, belonging. When the publisher of my first book, about gays and lesbians in the military, showed me the jacket design, I initially balked at the image of a military ribbon front and center — decked out in rainbow colors. I worried, or so I said, that closeted soldiers might be discouraged from reading it due to the revealing imagery. Assured it was adapted from an actual military ribbon, I relented, and grew to love the cover. On the front of my latest book, about the battle for marriage equality, the rainbow flag is hoisted above the Supreme Court building, cutting through a cloud-white sky, as if piercing a storm. Or maybe it’s a storm’s end? To me, now, it seems perfect.

— Nathaniel Frank, author of Awakening: How Gays and Lesbians Brought Marriage Equality to America, is director of the What We Know Project at Columbia Law School

Or an ge :h ea lin Ye g llo w: su n Gr ee n: na tu re Tu rq uo ise :m ag Bl ic ue :h ar m on y Pu rp le: sp irit

Re d: life

Gilbert Baker’s iconic flag has become the symbol for the gay and lesbian community worldwide. The first flag had eight stripes: pink stood for sex, red for life, orange for healing, yellow for the sun, green for nature, turquoise for magic, blue for harmony and purple for spirit.

Pin k: se x

Gilbert Baker 1951-2017

See all shops at www.ncpridepages.com

Partner Sponsor 2017 Pride Guide ad final.indd 1

9/6/17 3:06 PM

Hotel Sponsor

EXPLORE. DINE. STAY. Cutting edge contemporary art, inspired cuisine with local flavor and modern Southern hospitality in the heart of downtown Durham. > For reservations, visit 21cDurham.com and enter booking code â&#x20AC;&#x153;NCPRIDEâ&#x20AC;?*

111 North Corcoran Street, Durham 919.956.6700 | 21cDurham.com 919.956.6760 | CountingHouseNC.com *21c Durham only. Based on availability. Blackout dates apply.

Gold Sponsor

Hard Times Randy Jones

Hard times they happen all the time and we go on and on Gotta land on the right line Hard times they can destroy your mind, you must endure the grind Till you get on the right line… but Boy you oughta see me on a Saturday night, you oughta see me on a Saturday night It’s how I stay alive, it’s how the weak survive, pushing hard times out of sight Hard times we just get used to them, we have to pray to win And to land on the right line Hard times but for a chosen few, it is not what they do They were born on the right line

919-489-8362 WWW.PERSIANCARPET.COM

Durham, NC Gold Sponsor

One world. One PepsiCo. Fabulous.

www.pepsico.com

Community Sponsor 30

See all shops at www.ncpridepages.com

Partner Sponsor 9/7/17 10:40 AM

Community Sponsor

NC Pride Guide_half.indd 1

Frisky Business Boutique

PROUD to serve the Triangle's LGBTQ Community since 2004 1720 E Hwy 70 Durham www.friskystore.com 919.957.4441 Locally owned and offering the best in intimate toys, kink gear, sexy clothing, lubricants, gender expression, movies, and more.

Advertisers Antiques Replacements............................................ 26 Whitehall at the Villa............................... 13

Finacial Planning and CPA Anthony Armento, CPA.......................... 19 Triangle Financial Advisors.....................8

Auto Dealerships Hendrick Fiat Alfa Romeo of Cary.... 35 Nissan USA................................................. 36

Food/Gourmet Markets Whole Foods.............................................. 21 Pepsico......................................................... 29

Banking Services PNC Bank..................................................... 15 Suntrust..........................................................8

Flooring Accent Hardwood Flooring....................9

Bars and Grills The Bar ��6 Pinhook........................................................ 25 James Joyce.................................................6 Bookstores Malaprops................................................... 24 Carpets - Oriental The Persian Carpet.................................. 29 Catering Nosh.................................................................9 Sugarland..................................................... 14 Churches Jewish Yavneh Congregation.............. 19 Pilgrim UCC Church................................. 16 St. Philips Episcopal Church................. 16 St. Francis of Assisi.................................. 16 Coffee Shops/Cafes Caffe Driade................................................ 13 Malaprops................................................... 24 Sugarland..................................................... 14

Furniture and Interiors The Red Collection.................................. 24 Hair Salons Aveda Institute.......................................... 12 M Andrew Design...................................... 10 Altered Image...............................................8 Hotels/Motels 21cMuseum Hotel Durham.................... 27 Ice Cream Shoppes Sugarland..................................................... 14 Jewelry - Custom Goldsmiths Goldworks ................................................... 11 Landscaping/Garden Fixtures Transplanted Garden.............................. 25 Atlantic Ave Gardens.............................. 16 Liqueurs and Spirits Brothers Vilgalys ..................................... 25 Titos Vodka................................................. 31

See all shops at www.ncpridepages.com

Medical/Health Corporations Biogen Idec................................................ 20 GlaxoSmithKline....................................... 28 Rho................................................................ 34 NightClubs Legends..........................................................3 The Bar............................................................6 Novelties & Gifts - Adult Frisky Business........................................... 31 Maxx Adult ................................................30 Pet Boutiques & Boarding Other End of the Leash.......................... 12 Doggie Spa.................................................. 12 Pampered Pooch....................................... 13 Yay Dog....................................................... 29

Restaurants Blue Corn...................................................... 12 Breadmen’s Café....................................... 10 Crooks Corner............................................ 10 Dish................................................................ 24 Dos Perros.................................................... 11 Elmo’s Diner................................................ 10 Indochine..................................................... 25 James Joyce.................................................6 JuJu................................................................. 11 Nosh.................................................................9 Toast.............................................................. 13 RV and Camping Supplies Camping World of Raleigh................... 34 Wine Bars West End Wine Bar....................................6

Photograhers and Studios Tula Q Photography Wilmington....... 24 Psychologists/Psychotherapists Anne Boone................................................ 19 Carolina Partners Mental Health......... 18 Group for Psychotherapy...................... 19 Judith Powell.............................................. 19 Mike Katz...................................................... 19 Robert Buchanan...................................... 19 Real Estate Tony Hall...................................................... 13

The perspective you need. The team you deserve.

Gold Sponsor

Partner Sponsor

A full-service CRO

www.rhoworld.com

Gold Sponsor For listings of local Clubs and Organizations, go to www.ncgaytravel.com

For weekly local events go to www.trianglelocalevents.com