Agreeing with your partner about how your child uses tech

It is normal for parents to occasionally have different views on how they should parent their children. It is therefore understandable that tech usage rules for children can be difficult for parents to agree on.

One parent may enjoy playing online games and see no reason to restrict the children from doing the same. The other parent may have experienced sleep issues and noticed a difference when they stopped using their screen an hour before to going to bed. What about children using phones in their bedroom? This issue can cause enormous tension. So how can you come up with guidelines and boundaries for tech use in our home when you and your partner do not see eye-to-eye? Try these tips.

See if you have any similar views around screen time and try to agree on those. For example, your partner might be all for allowing the children to watch TV before bed, but maybe you can both agree that they should not use their screens as soon as they get up in the morning.

Try to understand, and respect, each other’s differences. For example, your partner may believe they are bonding with the children by sharing screen time. They may like to relax by using their screen, and so let the children do the same.

You may believe the children are not getting sufficient exercise or not socialising enough. If you can each understand the other’s views, compromise might be easier to achieve.

It can often help to work out how a normal day should look for your children. Your partner may then be able to see there are other activities your children should be engaged in rather than spending time on their screens.

Loosely planning their day will allow you to include time for getting ready for school, meals, homework, out of school commitments and chores. You will then gain an idea of the times of day your children have ‘free-time’ and this can help with deciding when they can use their screens. www.linkedin.com/in/nicolle-embra-804259122 www.linkedin.com/company/the-cyber-safety-tech-mum

In some situations, it could be helpful to map out what is currently happening over a few days so you can compare this with your new, loosely planned, day. If you have ever viewed the reports from Apple Screen Time on your own screen usage, you may have been shocked at how much time you spent on your device. The same could happen here by comparing ‘today’ to your new plan.

You cannot change your partner’s behaviour, but you can continue to model the behaviour with technology you desire in your home. It only needs one parent to start taking small actions to make a difference to how tech is used in the home. Children see and hear more than we realise sometimes! Continue to model how you would like tech to be used in your home so your children have an example to follow.

Continue to offer up screen-free activities to your kids. Take a few moments to note down the offscreen activities your children enjoy. You can even include them in this activity. They may suggest things you did not realise they enjoyed! Create a list you can pop onto the fridge/wall or, even better, near your central charging station. This can offer alternative activities when your children go to pick up their devices.