Southeast Monthly: January 2014

JANUARY 2014

BY PHIL VAUGHAN

am convinced that the most tangible part of my faith is expressed daily in how well I love other people. I believe that the extent to which we can love others well is also the best indicator of a healthy and consistent connection with God.

These key circumstances can indicate how well I am loving. Even when I am able to keep my temper in check and perhaps present a kind front, if my internal response is irritation and anger, then I am not loving well. I need to pay close attention to what’s happening in my heart.

The problem, however, is that our understanding of love is often polluted, misguided, and ineffective. So, lately I’ve been trying to frame my definition of love around some practical ideas that I can easily get my mind around. Here are a few to consider:

I am loving well when I use my power to help the powerless.

I am loving well when I am kind to people who treat me poorly.

Sometimes my instinct is to be unkind to those who treat me poorly. This attitude is the first indicator that I am loving out of convenience (which is really selfishness masquerading as love). How do I treat those who criticize me? How do I react to people who cut me off in traffic? How do I respond to those who disregard or marginalize me? What about those who disagree with me and openly oppose my opinions?

When you read the Gospels with this idea in mind, you will notice Jesus doing this over and over. He often expressed his love for people by rearranging and subverting the power structure to benefit those who had little or no power. In fact, this is one essence of the power of the cross: Jesus relinquished his power and authority to benefit those (all of us) who have no power to save themselves. I am living like Jesus and loving well when I am aware of power structures (relational, political, etc) and use my power to help or benefit those with less power.

I am probably not loving well when I use phrases like “speaking the truth in love.”

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FINDING A GROUP AT SOUTHEAST January 25–26 between services.

A large part of becoming a daily disciple is investing in relationships with others. We were never meant to go through this journey of faith alone.

Connection Weekend at Southeast is your chance to meet and talk with many of the groups in our church.

They'll be in the lobby after each service. It’s time to walk with others on your spiritual journey.

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12/25

OFFICES CLOSED

1/1

NEW YEAR'S DAY

1/12

DISCOVERING SOUTHEAST

1/16

SCHOOL OPEN HOUSE

1/16

FINANCIAL PEACE UNIVERSITY INTRO

1/25

CONNECTION WEEKEND

1/26

NIGHT OF WORSHIP

2/23

MEET THE PASTORS

3/7

HIDDEN: SPRING WOMENS RETREAT

3/16

DISCOVERING SOUTHEAST

Southeast’s Offices are closed December 25–January 1.

Happy New Year!

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Join us for a Night of Worship

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LEARN MORE ONLINE AT SOUTHEASTCC.ORG

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BY PETER BARBER

In a few short days, after the torn and discarded wrapping paper is all picked up but before the giant ball drops in New York City, I’ll pause for a quiet moment and think about the passage of time. I’ll think about how much has happened during this past year. I’ll be amazed at just how much my life has changed over the course of 12 short months. And I’ll be

because it’s something that is stable and predictable. Whatever else may happen, time marches on. Without fail, tomorrow will bring new possibilities, new opportunities. Plus, the word “inexorable” is just fun to say (go ahead, say it!).

But I also hate that phrase because it confronts me with the truth that time is finite and fleeting. That yesterday is

AND IN THE STILLNESS I WONDER IF SOMEHOW

I'M NOT MISSING WHAT MATTERS MOST shocked with how much time has gone by, time that is now irrecoverable.

It happens to me every year, usually late at night after everyone else is asleep (I’m quite a night-owl!). In the stillness, I’ll wrestle with the inexorable march of time.

I both love and hate that phrase: “the inexorable march of time.” I love it

behind me. That what has happened has happened, and there’s nothing I can do to change it.

And in the stillness I wonder if somehow I’m not missing what matters most.

This year, when that quiet moment comes, I’m going to be prepared. I’m going to make my peace with 2013. It’s a curious

phrase, “make peace with,” but I think it’s a perfect way to conceptualize the process of not only thinking back on the past year, but of reflecting on it. The art of reflection I fear is becoming a lost art. Reflection has to do with understanding why things happened the way they did. Reflection is a valuable learning skill that allows us to arrive at new insights about ourselves or about how the world works. I want to make peace with this year that’s coming to an end, to learn from it, and take those lessons with me into the next year.

In fact, I’m not going to wait around for that quiet moment to just happen. I’m going to proactively carve out the space to think and reflect. A lot has happened this past year. We’ve welcomed a new member to our family, Casey, and watched him grow throughout his first year of life. Our daughter, Natalie started pre-school and is growing into her role as a big sister. My wife and I have celebrated high moments, we’ve grieved low moments. We’ve reveled in the joy of family, we’ve grumbled with the stresses CONTINUED ON PAGE 6

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BY HEATHER NELSON

“Come to me, all who labor and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you, and learn from me, for I am gentle and lowly in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy, and my burden is light.” –Matthew 11:28-30 (ESV) “Mom…Moooooom! We are running late. I have practice, remember?!”

Jen opens her eyes, confused, and then quickly alert. Jon has practice at 6:30 this morning for basketball, she instantly remembers.

Attempting to quickly jump out of bed, Jen flinches. “Why did I make that New Year’s resolution to join that boot camp workout class?!”

“I’m coming sweetheart!”

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Jen braces herself, as her sore legs find footing on the carpet.

She waddles over to the bathroom and looks sleepily into the mirror.

“Basketball practice, Beth has auditions today at noon, Tom works until 6:30 tonight, and then he is playing basketball with Rob until 8:30 pm, and Tristan has hockey at 8:00 pm…”

She looks at her phone charging next to her sink, four missed calls!!

Placing her arms on the counter, wincing as she recalls the 75 pushups from yesterday’s workout, Jen takes a deep breath.

Lord, is this my life—running at break-neck speed? I know all of these events are fun and we chose them as a family, so why am I dreading this day?

And, before she could give it another thought Jon runs into the

room with his shiny new basketball shoes from Christmas gleaming in the light, “Let’s goooo!”

Jen grabs her robe, rushes out the door, not giving herself or her conversation with the Lord another thought…

The burden of busyness is perhaps the heaviest load we carry, especially this time of year. According to A.W. Tozer, “The burden borne by mankind is a heavy and a crushing thing. The word Jesus used means ‘a load carried or toil borne to the point of exhaustion’” (p. 105; Tozer).

Sound familiar? Feeling exhausted?

While it is true that our culture offers endless opportunity to busy ourselves, and never-ending expectations continually push us to the limit, don’t be fooled. The reason we do too much runs deeper than social pressure and work demands. These merely mask the real reason we overextend ourselves.

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THE MASK OF SUBURBIA (CONT.)

Most often, busyness—the compulsion to do too much—is internal, not external.

And it is most often driven by shame.

GIVE A GIFT WILL CHANGE LIVES This year, why not give a gift that makes an eternal difference in the lives of those right here in our community and around the world. Southeast partners with organizations like SECOR, Alternatives Pregnancy Center, CMF and Mercy Ships that help those who are hurting with tangible expressions of the love of Jesus. Through Mission Marketplace—located in the back of the bookstore—you can give a gift that really matters.

GET TO KNOW THE PASTORS Sunday, February 23 at 9:00am at Southeast. You can learn more about our ministries at Meet The Pastors.

You’ll connect more personally with the pastors who serve you, and learn about their passion and vision. This short gathering is a great first connection point at Southeast.

Register on our website.

When we do something bad, an appropriate feeling of shame encourages us to repent. This kind of shame goes away when we correct the moral error. The shame that drives us toward busyness is different, however. It is the lingering result of something done by us or to us, causing us to feel shamed by who we are. This kind of shame is debilitating; it disconnects us from ourselves, others, and God (Nouwen, p. 36).

Busyness offers a perfect way to mask shame. By completing a long list of tasks,

we demonstrate our worth to ourselves, to others, and to God. At least, that’s what we tell ourselves. Like hamsters on a wheel, we grind out tasks, trying to make restitution for our sin or make ourselves worthy of esteem or somehow make ourselves less unattractive. The truth is, however, doing too much keeps us from fully living and being real with ourselves, others, and our Lord.

Jesus has our shame in mind when He invites us to find “rest” in Him (Matthew 11:29). He sees that we need rest from our spiritual unrest, that we need relief from constant motion fueled by shame. Lingering shame will not allow us to relax or find rest because slowing down might allow ourselves or others

to see us as we perceive ourselves: as unworthy of admiration or love.

Jesus calls us to find relief in Him. In Him we find a holistic rest—physical, psychological, social, and spiritual.

In Christ, we find peace with God (Romans 5:1) and no more condemnation (Romans 8:1). A.W. Tozer sums up the heart of this passage, and our reasons for doing too much well when he candidly writes, “The rest He offers is the rest of meekness, the blessed relief which comes when we accept ourselves for what we are and cease to pretend. It will take some courage at first, but the needed grace will come as we learn that we are sharing this new and easy yoke with the strong Son of God Himself. He calls it “My yoke,” and

He walks at one end while we walk at the other.” (Tozer; 109-110) What a perfect time of year, full of new beginnings, to receive the rest Christ offers and to find relief from our shame.

But first, we have to slow down.

HEATHER is the manager of Southeast Christian Counseling Center. She desires to point people burdened by their struggles and life's brokenness toward hope and healing.

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MAKE PEACE (CONT.)

of life (full confession: we’ve grumbled about family a fair bit, too!). We’ve laughed and we’ve cried.

A year can bring so many different experiences. This

The metaphor of “story” is an excellent guide for this process of reflection. I believe that our lives are stories that God is writing together with us. Our stories are unique, but they’re also each a part of the Grander Story that God is telling. And like any story, our

A YEAR CAN BRING SO MANY

DIFFERENT EXPERIENCES year, as I stand on the threshold of a new one, I’m not content to just sit there wondering if I’ve missed something. I know I can’t change anything that’s happened this past year—but I can learn from it. And I wonder if you’d like to join me on this journey of reflection and learning. Shall we make peace with 2013?

stories are made up of certain elements. These elements will help us reflect on and make peace with our year.

SET TING Every story has a setting, a physical place and historical time period in which the story is set. For example, The Great CONTINUED ON PAGE 7

SPRING WOMEN'S RETREAT March 7-9 at Antlers Hotel in Colorado Springs. No matter where we look; our family, our friends or our job, the search for significance feels like looking for hidden treasure.

Join national speaker and author, Mindy Caliguire, and other women from Southeast on the journey to discover who we are in Christ. Meet some new friends or come with old ones. Enjoy worship, workshops and serving together at the Springs Rescue Mission. Early registrations start at $140 (through January 31).

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GET TO KNOW SOUTHEAST CHRISTIAN SCHOOL

DISCOVER FINANCIAL FREEDOM

You can learn more about Southeast Christian School at our Open House on Thursday, January 16 at 6:00pm.

Meet the staff and teachers, and attend a Kindergarten Information or Intro to Middle School meeting.

Financial Peace University is a biblically-based class that teaches you how to handle money God’s way. In 9 lessons you will learn to take control of your money, invest for the future and give like never before.

You can learn more about the class at an Intro Session on Thursday, January 16 at 7:00pm.

Enrollment for Kindergarten–8th grade is open now. If you have questions about Southeast, visit us online at sechristianschool.org or contact Dana in the school office at 303.841.9292.

MAKE PEACE (CONT.)

Gatsby is set in 1920s Long Island, New York. Disney’s The Beauty and the Beast takes place in medieval France. Where is your story set? Certainly Colorado and the Denver Metro area make up a part of the answer, but your setting has more texture than that. Your setting has to do with where you work, where your kids go to school, where you workout or play ball. I believe God has chosen the setting of our stories for us. What could God possibly be up to setting your story where He has?

He may not reveal this fully to you, but you’ll be surprised at the insights you gain when you reflect on it.

SUPPORTING CHARACTERS The protagonist is always the focal point of any story, but no story is complete without a cast of supporting characters.

Who are the supporting characters in your life? Supporting characters are used in a story to add depth to the main character, to help us better understand them, their thoughts, and their motivations. This doesn’t mean that supporting characters are less important than the protagonist, only that the story isn’t theirs. Did God introduce any new supporting characters to your story over this past year? What kind of roles do your supporting characters play? Are they a sidekick, a nemesis, a love interest, or a mentor? Reflect back on your supporting characters and how they’re deepening and enriching your story.

More importantly, whose story are you supporting? We are all supporting characters in each other’s stories. Perhaps you didn’t even realize the important role you could play in another person’s story.

What kind of a supporting role are you playing? An antagonist? A friend? A lover?

Are you actually playing your role, or are you just “phoning it in,” as they say in Hollywood? Take some time to reflect on what kind of supporting character God is calling you to be.

INCITING INCIDENTS An inciting incident is the part of the story where an unexpected and difficult circumstance befalls the central character and serves to advance the story forward CONTINUED ON BACK COVER

LOVE WELL. (CONT.)

Usually this phrase means that I am about to speak into a difficult area of someone's heart or life despite that I have been too lazy or selfish to build a relationship with someone that would earn me that right. Though I claim by these words to be loving well, I usually am not being loving.

I am probably not loving well if I allow political and moral convictions to get in the way of doing so.

Sometimes we use this phrase: “I don’t want to condone their sin.” Too often this means we are mostly concerned about our own reputation. If showing kindness to someone hurts my reputation, then I should remember I am in good company: Jesus was defamed because of his kindness to all sorts of reprobates.

We might be tempted to allow social and political opinions to excuse unkind behavior. When Jesus told us to love our neighbors, he added no qualifiers (as long as they are U.S. citizens, as long as they are heterosexual, as long as they

are pro-life). You are loving well if your gay neighbor doesn’t know you oppose civil unions. You are loving well if your stance on immigration policy doesn’t affect how you treat the local hispanic population. In short, my opinions on public policy matters should never affect my ability to love my neighbor.

THOUGH I CLAIM BY THESE WORDS TO BE LOVING WELL, I USUALLY AM NOT BEING LOVING Most of this can be summed up by this powerful quote from my friend, Rich Beck: “Kindness is the tutor of love.”

How do you frame the act of loving well?

What are some indicators for you as you live this out on a daily basis?

PHIL VAUGHAN has been the Lead Pastor at Southeast since 2011. You can connect with Phil on Facebook at Facebook.com/PhilandDonnaVaughan.

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GETTING STARTED AT SOUTHEAST Getting connected to a new church can be challenging. If you’re new to Southeast, we want to help. You’re invited to Discovering Southeast, where you’ll get a chance to hear from our staff, meet some new people, and learn all about what it means to be a part of our church.

You can register on our website or stop by the Welcome Center for more information.

NEXT CLASSES: Sunday, January 12 at 9:00am.

Sunday, March 16 at 9:00am.

MAKE PEACE (CONT.)

in a new direction. Stories are boring unless they have inciting incidents. In It’s a Wonderful Life, Uncle Billy’s loss of the deposit money is the inciting incident that propels George Bailey’s story forward.

If Uncle Billy never loses the money, George Bailey is never led to despair, and Clarence never earns his wings.

Were there inciting incidents that happened to you this past year? It can be very hard to believe in the midst of a painful inciting incident that this actually helps move your story forward. But I encourage you to reflect back on your year, as painful as it might be, and look for what God might be bringing into being through the pain.

READING & PRAYER GUIDES "Becoming a daily disciple" is about daily habits like reading Scripture and talking with God through prayer.

Pick up a reading and prayer guide at the Welcome Center when you're here, or download a digital copy to keep with you.

southeastcc.org 303.841.9292 9650 Jordan Road Parker, CO 80134

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THEMES Every story has themes or motifs that recur throughout the telling of the story.

Maybe you’ve never stopped to consider what some of the themes of your life might be. I know that as I look back over my entire life up to this point, I can see the themes of God’s movement in my life. I’m evaluating my experiences this past year

in light of those themes God has woven into my story.

How did the themes of your story recur over this past year? Did God introduce any new ones? Were there some themes that you ignored because you were too busy with other things? Reflect back on the year and look for God’s fingerprints and handiwork.

Our busy culture is all about looking forward to the next thing, the next movie release, the next event, the next year. We hardly ever look back. We hardly ever give ourselves the space and time to look back. This year, be counter-cultural.

Take some time to stop and reflect. Pay attention. We can’t change the past, but we can learn from it. Carry the lessons from yesterday into tomorrow. Make peace with your year.

To find out more about your life as a story, check out the books To Be Told by Dan Allender and A Million Miles in a Thousand Years by Donald Miller.

PETER BARBER is the Care Pastor at Southeast. If you’d like to keep up with him, visit Peter’s blog at PeterBarber.me.