Fairfax Woman Magazine - September/October 2019

are you Suddenly

Single?

Daily No t Affirma es of Can Hel tion p You Move O n

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September/October 2019

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CONSIDERATIONS

When Deciding on Cosmetic Medical Treatments for Your Face

The Wellness Cooperative

Healing For Your Mental, Emotional, and Physical Health

A Community Publication Proudly Inspiring, Educating & Connecting Northern Virginia Women Since 2009

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G R E AT T H I N G S A R E D O N E BY A SERIES OF SMALL THINGS BROUGHT TOGETHER — V i n c e n t Va n G o g h —

Family connections help you live longer Get connected at The Kensington

W

hether it’s the one you get or the one you choose, your family can make a grey day bright or a sunny day sunnier. It is a bringer of joy, a courier of love and a haven of comfort.

the immune system, increase cognitive ability and improve mental health. They also provide a sense of belonging that keeps worry at bay, alleviates fear and reduces stress, which all help preserve health and prolong life.

Connections with family are meaningful throughout every stage of life, but they are particularly important for seniors. They not only improve quality of life, but they also extend it. Strong family ties strengthen

At The Kensington Falls Church, we like having our residents around, so we’ve made space in our family for them and theirs—in our hearts and at our table.

Get connected. Join us for an upcoming monthly brunch. We’ll set a place for you.

Call us for more details, or visit us online at www.TheKensingtonFallsChurch.com/events

(703) 992-9868 | 700 West Broad Street, Falls Church, VA 22046 | www.TheKensingtonFallsChurch.com Kensington Park, another Kensington community located nearby in Kensington, MD A S S I S T E D

L I V I N G

&

M E M O R Y

C A R E

BEGIN AGAIN | An Encounter Grace Conference Getting back to the basics of the faith so you can “begin again.”

This conference is an opportunity for women of faith from all seasons of life to come together to make deep connections and create a strong community of faith-filled women who support and nurture one another.

SATURDAY, OCTOBER 26, 2019 ST. MARY’S RYKEN HIGH SCHOOL 22500 CAMP CALVERT ROAD LEONARDTOWN MD 20650 7:30AM – 3:30PM

A Community Publication Proudly Inspiring, Educating & Connecting Northern Virginia Women Since 2009.

Publisher Oda Solms

For more information, visit www.encountergrace.co.

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ON THE COVER

es of Daily Nottion Affirma You Can Help Move On

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Advertising Sales Kathryn Payne Olson Marilyn Cordova-Winchell Micheline Johnson Jill McAfee Contributing Writers Ashley Claire Simpson Kathryn Streeter Jennifer Reeves Rachel Lytle

Fairfax Woman Have you ever become suddenly single - blindsided and broken? There’s something special to be said about shared experiences and the realization that we are stronger than we once believed. Read about how author and TEDx speaker Danielle Daily overcame life’s sudden plot twists, and how you can, too.

Alexandria Woman Magazine How does the mind affect us physically? More than we may think. Owner of The Wellness Cooperative Jeanette Wages offers us an inside look on her philosophy of whole-body wellness.

Learn how holistic empowerment coaches are so important to overall health, and what they can do for you.

Page 26 The Wellness Cooperative Page 33 Are You Suddenly Single?

Page 38 Getaway to Hyatt Chesapeake Bay

Distribution Jose Calderon Aldo Castro Every issue produced in loving memory of Melissa Solms-Baruth

FAIRFAX WOMAN/ALEXANDRIA WOMAN MAGAZINE PO Box 1656, Leonardtown, MD 20650 301.904.3366 Oda@fairfaxwoman.com FairfaxWoman.com

Woman magazine is published bimonthly and is available free of charge, by mail, display stands in approved private and public establishments. Trademark laws and U.S. copyright laws protect Fairfax Woman magazine. No part of this paper may be reproduced without the written permission of the publisher. This publication is published by the 15th day of every other month. Publication of advertising contained here does not necessarily constitute endorsement.

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health&wellness Presented by Karl Smith, DDS, MS

Is Tooth and Gum Health Really THAT Important?

Researchers have long identified links between periodontal (gum) infections and other major diseases throughout the body.

Current studies have identified the strong link between gum disease and cardiovascular disease along with a host of other body illnesses. Much of today’s research suggests that gum disease may be a more serious risk factor for heart disease than high blood pressure (hypertension), smoking, high cholesterol, high blood sugar, gender, and age. Studies suggest that people who have gingivitis or periodontal (gum) bacteria trapped

6

underneath their gums seem to be at a higher risk for heart attacks.

The evidence is becoming clearer every day that the level of your oral health affects your overall body health in the same way.

When bacteria are present underneath the gums, they are typically painless and are of little concern as they cannot be felt but they can often quietly come loose and move throughout the body. These same bacteria irritate your gums and can travel to your arteries, and your body’s organs through the bloodstream.

Researchers are unsure exactly what causes the bacteria to become mobile, but it has been

S e p t e m b e r / O c t o b e r 2 0 1 9 | FAIRFAXWOM AN.COM

suggested that it can be dislodged during tasks as simple as brushing, flossing or even chewing.

Your risk of developing cardiovascular disease varies according to the severity of gum infection. Infected gums bleed to flush out the bacteria, thus making it easier for bacteria to enter your bloodstream. If bacteria reach the arteries, they can irritate them in the same way that they irritate gum tissue.

This could cause arterial plaque to accumulate, which can cause hardening of the arteries and decreased or blocked blood flow.

Compromised blood flow to your heart can cause a heart attack.

Arterial plaque can also come loose and travel to other parts of the body. If a blockage occurs in the brain, it can cause a stroke.

New research shows links between periodontal health, diabetic health, and the risk factors for developing diabetes. Diabetic patients should take extra care to ensure that their gums are totally healthy. Gum diseases are infections that should always be taken seriously. Since gum disease often shows few or no symptoms at all, watch for gums that are red and irritated or bleed easily as a first warning sign. There are many new treatments available to control and to help reverse gum disease.

Brushing and flossing regularly to remove plaque you

can’t see below the gumline is important, as well as to schedule regular checkups with your periodontist.

It is highly suggested that an evaluation by a periodontist should be recommended to anyone over the age of 35. This exam will not only identify periodontal disease but will find factors that put you at risk for future disease and other health related issues. Just like a colonoscopy or mammogram, a periodontal examination should be a part of your preventive health routine.

Call today to schedule a visit – you’ll be glad you did.

Dr. Karl Smith has been in dental practice for more than 34 years. He received his Doctor of Dental Surgery degree from the University of California, Los Angeles in 1981 and immediately entered General Practice in the US Air Force Dental Corps. He successfully completed three additional years of advanced education in the specialty of Periodontics with additional training in IV Sedation and Dental Implants in 1992, at the University of Texas Health Science Center, San Antonio and Wilford Hall USAF Medical Center. He won the John Pritchard Prize for outstanding research which included looking for a vaccine against bacteria that cause periodontal disease. Dr. Smith completed a Master of Business Administration degree with a Certificate in Health Services Management while working full time as a Periodontist.

health&wellness

By D. Dennis Faludi, MD

5 Things to Consider Before Cosmetic Medical Treatments If you are interested in nonsurgical cosmetic medical treatments, you will find many options available in a wide variety of settings. On one hand, this means that you have the luxury of choosing exactly the settings and treatments that feel right to you, but on the other hand, the numerous choices can be overwhelming, especially since medical procedures are not always easy to understand.

Here are five important considerations to guide you in your search for aesthetic medical treatments that you can trust. The information here will augment and help you filter what you learn from websites, online reviews, and reports from friends and colleagues.

individuals with a wide range of professional backgrounds. You should have the opportunity to meet your clinician and learn about his/her qualifications before you commit to any treatment. Different procedures require different levels of expertise and you will evaluate whether this person has training that is commensurate with the treatment you are considering.

A number of providers may or may not be appropriate for you, depending on specialty training and how frequently they perform your treatment. A cosmetic medical treatment remains a medical procedure with the accompanying risks, and you should choose your clinician with care.

Your Clinician

Initial Consultation It is important to have a consultation before any elective

Minimally invasive cosmetic treatments are performed by

Feel Beautiful for

Autumn Celebrations MEET DR. FALUDI

Dr. Dennis Faludi has decades of experience in reconstructive and microsurgery, with additional training in advanced facial aesthetic procedures. Dr. Faludi’s expertise in the delicate techniques required for working with small vessels, nerves, soft tissue, and bone flow naturally into Aesthetic Medicine. He now uses his surgical skills to perform minimally invasive cosmetic treatments for a variety of skin and vascular conditions over the face, hands, and body. To ensure the highest quality of care, he works personally with each patient from the initial consultation through treatments and follow-up visits.

Call 703-992-7979 to schedule your complimentary consultation.

We look forward to meeting you!

OUR SERVICES

• Botox • Dermal Fillers • Sun Damage • Facial & Eye Rejuvenation • Spider Veins • Ultherapy® • Micro-Needling • Age Spots • Rosacea • Lip Enhancement • Acne Scarring • Hand Rejuvenation . . . And More

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medical treatment, preferably with the person who will be performing your procedure. The consultation for an aesthetic treatment does not have to be lengthy, but it should not feel rushed. There should be an appropriate review of your medical history, a relevant physical evaluation with a subsequent discussion of goals, and an understanding of the expected results of the procedure. This visit is also the time to ask about cost, side effects, downtime, and whom you should contact if you have any post-treatment issues or concerns, especially after hours. By the end of this visit you should know enough to feel comfortable with the proposed plan of treatment and your clinician. Finally, you should not be pressured to make a treatment decision on the day of your consultation if you want to do additional research before making that commitment.

Your Treatment It is appropriate for you to ask questions about the treatments recommended by your clinician, and it is in your best interest to understand why specific procedures/products have been chosen for you, in addition to possible alternative options. You should be informed about possible adverse effects, post-treatment downtime, and how long you can expect your results to last.

Before undergoing any procedure, you should be given an informed consent document and review it with your clinician.

Comfort During Treatment: Analgesia You should be as comfortable and relaxed as possible during your treatment, and there are a number of analgesic options to relieve the discomfort that sometimes accompany a cosmetic procedure. In our practice, we offer a variety of analgesic alternatives including topical and injectable anesthetics, nitrous oxide gas,

and when appropriate, additional medications. Your clinician should discuss analgesic options for any recommended treatment.

Cost Cosmetic medical procedures are generally not covered by insurance, and pricing is based on fair market value. Before committing to a treatment with a specific practice, you should understand exactly how much you will be charged, including any ancillary costs. If your quoted cost is significantly high or low relative to what is customary in your area, we recommend that you proceed with caution.

When considering an aesthetic medical treatment, you are most likely interested in rejuvenating your appearance in a way that is subtle and natural looking, and you hope to find a clinician you can trust; these goals are worth a careful evaluation of the options that are available to you. When cosmetic medical procedures are done with skill and care, patients enjoy both their treatment experience and their results.

Dr. Dennis Faludi is a Diplomate of the American Board of Orthopedic Surgery with the Certificate of Added Qualifications in Hand Surgery.

A native of Northern New Jersey, Dr. Faludi graduated Albany Medical College in Albany, New York, with an M.D., followed by an orthopedic surgery residency at Johns Hopkins University, where he trained further in reconstructive arthritis, hand, plastic, and microsurgery. After finishing the San Francisco Hand Surgery Fellowship, he settled in Northern Virginia to practice reconstructive, hand, and microsurgery. He pioneered the intraoperative use of lasers in orthopedic surgery. Dr. Faludi is a member of the American Society for Surgery of the Hand and the American Society of Laser Medicine and Surgery.

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health&wellness

Put Your Best Face Forward Fall into full swing with your facial skincare routine this season. Now that summer is behind us, you may start to notice the damage from all the fun in the sun, particularly on your face. Luckily, there are many facial rejuvenation treatments and products available.

“If you can’t stick to a routine… then the best advice anyone should be able to follow is to at least wash your face before bed and always use an SPF during the day!”

At New Image Plastic Surgery (NIPS), Dr. Gartside and her staff offer some pertinent tips on keeping your best face forward this Fall.

Find a good skincare routine that works for you.

It’s never too late to start caring for your skin—but the earlier you develop a good regimen, the better.

Find a regimen that works for your skin type but also works for your schedule. Do not pick a five-step routine if you only have time for a two-step routine. Remember, compliance is key, and prevention is more effective than correction.

UV rays break down important proteins in your skin, which accelerate the appearance of lines, wrinkles and sagging skin. Wearing sunscreen every day and avoiding deliberate tanning helps protect your skin from sun damage. Use an SPF of 35 or higher and continue to re-apply as needed when out in direct sunlight.

Be serious about sun protection!

Sun exposure is one of the leading causes of aging. The

Hydrate and nourish your skin inside out.

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Roberta Gartside, MD, FACS

1800 Town Center Drive 412, Reston, VA 20190 www.gartside.com

1800 Town Center Drive 412, Reston, VA 20190

www.gartside.com

F E AT U R E D I N TOP DOCTOR 2016

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New Image Plastic Surgery Associates is proud to offer

Another important aspect of maintaining great, healthy-looking skin and prolonging your skincare routine results is to eat a healthy diet. Fresh fruits, vegetables and whole grains can have a positive impact on the way your skin looks and feels while helping to stave off skin aging. Hydrate by drinking at least eight glasses of water a day.

Just as important as eating the right foods is limiting or eliminating the wrong foods from your diet. Sugar, for instance, acts as an enemy of any antiaging efforts because it triggers a chemical process called glycation.

During this process, sugar molecules damage proteins, lipids and other important molecules necessary for optimum skin health.

Use medical-grade skincare products.

While there is nothing wrong with over-the-counter skincare products, we see best results with medical-grade products that can only be purchased through a physician’s office. Medicalgrade skin care products that contain ingredients like retinoids, peptides and antioxidants can all be great tools for brightening and smoothing the skin. Finding which product is right for your skin type and concerns are best determined between you and a boardcertified doctor after a proper skin evaluation.

“At New Image Plastic Surgery, we only offer SENTÉ® Skincare. We like SENTÉ because it has a patented sulfated glycosaminoglycan analog technology. In laymen’s terms, it promotes rapid rejuvenation, hydrates and has multiple anti-aging benefits and it is safe for all skin types and can be combined with other products outside of the SENTÉ Skincare line.”

Don’t be shy, take advantage of cosmetic treatments.

Cosmetic treatments can compliment your daily skincare

routine results. Treatments such as probiotic peels, ThermiSmooth radiofrequency, and microneedling are some favorite treatments offered at NIPS. They promote cell turnover and collagen stimulation.Other types of facial rejuvenation treatments include botox and fillers. But like your skincare routine, these treatments require maintenance and are not one-stop-shop type treatments.

Think of these as extensions to your daily skincare routine.

Sometimes despite the best regimen(s) and maintenance you can come to a certain point in life where you may want to consider something more invasive such as a facelift surgery. Facelift surgery can give you another five or seven years back… but again, even with surgery, your skin still wants and needs a good skincare routine to optimize and maintain your results.

No matter if you are starting early or late with your skincare game, you need a board-certified professional who not only understands the aging process, but can determine whether a noninvasive or invasive procedure will be required to achieve your desired results.

Dr. Roberta Gartside is a board-certified plastic surgeon with more than 30 years of experience in the DC Metro area.

She is a member of both American Society for Aesthetic Plastic Surgery (ASAPS) and American Society of Plastic Surgeons (ASPS) and the Treasure of the VA Society for Plastic Surgeons. She is also the Chair of the Board for the Society for Women’s Health Research.

Dr. Roberta Gartside is one of the most experienced and sought after surgeons in the area. She takes the time to work one-on-one with her patients to customize their treatment plans to fit their specific needs and desires. In addition to a wide range of cosmetic surgery procedures, she also offers other non-invasive treatments such as Botulinumtoxin A (Botox), facial fillers (Juvederm, Voluma, etc.), micro-needling, ThermiVA (vaginal) and non-surgical body contouring (SculpSure).

September/October 2019 | FA IR FA X WOMA N .C OM

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health&wellness

By Michelle Nguyen, MD, FACS, RPVI

The Family Connection During this time of year, if you have visible veins, it is hard to ignore them. The appearance of spider and varicose veins can be embarrassing, and the pain and swelling they cause can also make you less active. If your mom or another family member had these veins, you may think they are an inevitable part of aging – but they are a symptom of vein disease, a progressive disorder with a strong genetic link.

When leg vein valves fail and our bodies are unable to circulate blood as effectively as they used to, blood pools, expanding the vein walls and causing a whole host of issues besides the visible ones – spider and varicose veins. Your legs may feel achy or heavy, your ankles may swell, and your skin may become dry, among other possible side effects. In severe cases, you can even form an ulcer on the skin that cannot heal until the troublesome vein is dealt with.

Vein disease is extremely common, with more than 40 million

Americans suffering from it. Because of hormones and pregnancy, moms (and women in general) are much more prone to vein disease. Age is a huge risk factor as well – with 72 percent of females between the ages of 60-69 presenting with vein disease. It is also hereditary. If one parent is affected by varicose veins, their daughter is at a 62 percent risk of developing them as well. If both parents are affected, that risk rises to 90 percent.

Personally, I had a lot of family members who had varicose veins.

After they had treatment, I saw how my relatives’ lives improved, and that is what lead me to specializing in vein health. When your veins are healthy, and you’re not in pain, it’s easier to stay active, engaged, and happy, no matter your age.

With advancements in medical technology, vein treatments have never been so painless and effective.

I am proud to offer my patients a variety of minimally invasive treatment options, which require no

“Cannot say enough positive things! Dr. Michelle Nguyen and her staff are extremely welcoming, professional and seamless experience. I highly recommend anyone who suffers from vein issues to go for a consult.”

– Marta L. “Dr. Nguyen and the staff at the Herndon office could not have been more professional, friendly and helpful. I suffered from severe leg cramps for several years and thanks to the good people at CVR I am now as active as I used to be and can sleep through the night.”

– Michael C. 10

S e p t e m b e r / O c t o b e r 2 0 1 9 | FAIRFAXWOM AN.COM

downtime, and are covered by most insurances.

Veins and leg pain may run in your family, but that doesn’t mean you have to live with it. Let me help you feel and look better. Call 1-800-FIX-LEGS (1-800-349-5347) to schedule an appointment or visit us on the web at CenterForVein.com.

Michelle Nguyen, MD, FACS, RPVI has nearly 20 years of medical experience and has been named a Top Doctor

by Washingtonian magazine. In her career, she has performed thousands of venous ablations utilizing a variety of non-invasive treatment types. She is the lead physician at the Center for Vein Restoration locations in Manassas and Herndon.

Center for Vein Restoration is the clinical leader in vein care, providing safe, effective treatment options personalized to each patients’ need at all its 80+ locations throughout the country.

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“I started working with Alexandria Woman magazine as a contributor in 2012 and have been contributing ever since. From the very first article I wrote, we immediately started realizing people were reading our articles and responding wanting to make an appointment at our office. Working with Oda and Alexandria Woman magazine has been wonderful for me as a practitioner. It’s been awesome being able to write articles to educate the community, while at the same time being able to generate new business referrals. I must say Alexandria Woman magazine has played an integral role in the growth of my practice, in which I’m truly grateful.”

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Alexandria Children’s Dentistry “I have been advertising in Fairfax Woman magazine for about five years uninterrupted because of having great success in getting new patients visiting our med spa every month. It has been a wonderful experience working with the owner of the magazine Oda Solms and her

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team. The ads are more cost effective than many other magazines and have helped us with name recognition. This magazine is the voice of the Northern Virginia area and the magazine’s team is fascinating plus innovative when it comes to creating ads and editorials. They also are willing to team up with a business to create events together, which helps grow any type of business. Fairfax Woman magazine is an indispensable guide to this area and it inspires readers with valuable information. I recommend this magazine to anyone.”

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Business Manager of Astoria Laser Clinic & Med Spa “Fairfax Woman magazine has been the best form of advertising for my business. It has brought me the best results and they are by far the most accommodating when it comes to working with you on designing and changing your advertisement. From the publisher, Oda, to their photographer, Rui, and even the sweet gentleman that delivers our magazines each month, they

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They are highly skilled writers, and they have consistently provided guidance and support to ensure that we are completely happy with each of our submissions. We are very happy clients, and we look forward to a long-term relationship with Fairfax Woman & Alexandria Woman Magazine!”

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health&wellness

By Nuha Handoush, Licensed LME Clinician

Introducing CoolTone: Remove Fat First, Build Muscle Second The future has arrived! People who have unwanted fat in the wrong places are always looking for better ways, and the newest technology, to help reduce or get rid of that fat and build muscle. We are excited to announce that the newest member of the CoolSculpting family, CoolTone, has been cleared by the FDA and is now available in the fall.

CoolTone uses magnetic muscle stimulation to induce supramaximal contractions to increase muscle strength and definition in the abdomen and the buttocks. CoolTone is not only the most powerful muscle toning device on the market today, it is also pain-free. The powerful electromagnetic current that is produced to stimulate the muscle contraction is able to bypass the sensory nerves, which allows for a comfortable yet effective treatment. The introduction of CoolTone into the marketplace will undoubtedly jolt the body contouring industry.

The U.S. Food and Drug Administration has approved the newest CoolTone device for use in strengthening, toning and firming the abdominal area, buttocks and thighs. CoolTone uses magnetic muscle stimulation to penetrate muscle layers, which then causes involuntary muscle contractions. The body responds to the contractions by strengthening muscle fibers, leading to increased muscle tone. CoolTone has the same maker of the CoolSculpting device, a non-surgical fatelimination device that works by freezing and killing fat cells in targeted areas like the abdomen, flanks or under the chin.

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Start your transformation today! Contact us to learn more and schedule your consultation with our specialists. Visit AstoriaLaserClinic.com or call 703-992-9290.

Nuha Handoush is a licensed medical esthetician and laser technician at Astoria Laser Clinic & Med Spa. Nuha started her career on the West Coast and has worked with some of the country’s top doctors. She graduated from the CoolSculpting University and is certified in most laser and RF procedures. Prior to moving to Virginia, she established a successful aesthetic division in some of Oregon’s most prestigious medical clinics, including the Southeast Portland Surgical Clinic, Mona Medical Spa & Laser, and Advanced Aesthetics and Integrative Medical Center. Nuha enjoys seeing patients of all ages, her expertise ranges from managing teenage acne to helping adults with sunspots and aging skin. To schedule a consultation with Nuha, call 703-992-9290 or visit AstoriaLaserClinic.com.

S e p t e m b e r / O c t ob e r 2 0 1 9 | FAIRFAXWOM AN.COM

health&wellness

By Mariam Alimi, RN, BSN, Aesthetic Director

All You Need to Know About Lip Fillers All You Need To Know About Lip Fillers

Lip augmentation has been on the rise year after year in the fits aesthetically and balances appearance. tient and a number of other factors. As their features. Others may be United States. A record number of Americans have undergone features. Others maylooking be lookingfor for volume. last four to six months and after that s are made fasting from hyaluronMaking that lip filler injections and it is consideredic acid, thewhich second growing can be anything from nine monthsis a naturally occurring first consultation is critical to compound in our hyaluronic is critical to understanding your needs plus. Longevity can depend on the procedure in the U.S. since 2000, according tobody. theTheAmerican acid attracts water and can hold up and wants as a patient. person’s metabolic rateand and age. understanding your needs Society of Plastic Surgeons. As we age, there changesCan anyone get them? to 1,000 times itsare own many weight, which wants as a patient.

What’s the healing time? helps in hydrating the lips. Some of the that can happen in and around the lips. lips to volumize and around the lips to

vasive and non-invasive procedures, There is no healing as such, patients need to be aged 18. Plus, no although Can anyone get swelling them? might occur in a

First off, our lips start to lose Belotero, andInjected, Versa. this studies have ever proven that few cases for around 24 to 48 hours.

Belotero and Versa. this Injected, results clinical For fillers, Botox, and both treatment when Some patients may experience slight in a plumper, lip effect.

By Mariam Alimi, volume. Many factors play inRN, toBSN results infuller a plumper, fullerit’s OK to undergo invasive andbruising, non-invasive Impressions Medispa as the lips are a vascular New to lip injections? the role such as smoking, genetics, lip effect. area. If swelling shouldto occur, It is recommended that you make procedures, patients need be we use ice packs to cool the area to prevent a consultation with the medical proand sun damage to cause line Lip augmentation has been on a vider to assess your needs. Most often It depends on the product, the pa- bruising and help reduce swelling. formation above and below the rise year over year in the United States and around the world.

A record number lips. Unfortunately, other factors with aging areinjections the portions of the and it is considered the second fasting growing procedure in the United lips can turn inward or the corners States since 2000, according to the of the lips canAmerican turn downward Society of Plastic Surgeons.

As we appearance. age, there are many changes causing a “frowning” Before Before Before that can happen in and around the lips.

First off, our lips start to lose volume.

factors play in to the role such as What are lipMany fillers? smoking, genetics and sun damage to

causemade line formation above and below Lip fillers are from the lips. Unfortunately, other factors hyaluronic acid, isportions a withwhich aging are the of the lips can turn inward or the corners of the lips can naturally occurring compound turn downward causing a “frowning” in our body. The hyaluronic acid attracts water and can hold up to 1,000 times its own weight, which helps in hydrating the lips. Some of the dermal fillers that can be injected in the lips to volumize and around the lips to treat fine lines are Restylane, Juvederm,

Mariam Alimi, RN, BSN

After

Mariam Alimi, RN, BSN

Mariam Alimi, RN, BSN

After

Botox Dermal Filler Advice On at least$18 years old. Plus, $ no It is recommended that 100 10 unit clinical studies have ever proven Looking Your you make a consultation with Bestthat it’s OK to undergo treatment OFF

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Arlington - Fairfax Edition I 27

How long do lip fillers last?

It depends on the product, the patient, and several other factors.

As a ballpark figure, the first time should last four to six months and after that can be anything from nine months-plus. Longevity can depend on the person’s metabolic rate and age.

What’s the healing time?

There is no healing as such, although swelling might occur in a few cases for around 24 to 48 hours. Some patients may experience slight bruising, as the lips are a vascular area. If swelling should occur, we use ice packs to cool the area to prevent bruising and help reduce swelling.

Mariam Alimi, RN, BSN, is the Aesthetic Director and Advanced Injector at Impressions MediSpa. Mariam is an aesthetic nurse with a Bachelors in Nursing from Stratford University cum laude and a bachelors from Virginia Tech. She is an expert in laser technology and has more than 10 years of experience in cosmetic dermatology and aesthetic medicine. Mariam is certified in botox and dermal fillers including advanced techniques using Restylane, Restylane Lift/Perlane, Voluma, Juvederm XC, Juvederm Ultra Plus, Radiesse, and Sculptra. Mariam is a licensed in ArqueDerma® Artistic Restoration Lift® and InstaTox®. She has completed an intense training through InjectAbility® Institute, home of the ArqueDerma® technique. Mariam has also completed several courses using Sculptra, collagen stimulator, for facial rejuvenation, Sculptra Butt Lift and treatment of cellulite. Mariam is committed to restoring, sculpting and enhancing one’s natural beauty through non-surgical techniques.

Mariam is a member of the Association of Medical Aesthetic Nurses, American Society for Laser Medicine and American Nurses Association. She is a native of Northern Virginia and her hobbies include spending quality time with her family, nature hikes, traveling and staying current on the latest advancements and research involving aesthetic medicine.

September/October 2019 | FA IR FA X WOMA N .C OM

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Mom’s Corner

Mom’s Corner

8. False: A balanced diet does not guarantee the proper amount of fluoride for

By Dr Angela Austin the development and maintenance of your child’s teeth. If you do not live in a community with fluoride in the water your child may need additional fluoride.

Talk to your dentist about your child’s specific fluoride needs.

The Dreaded Cavity…. Can it Actually be Contagious?!

9. True: Water is so important in fighting tooth decay. Especially fluoridated tap water. It washes over your teeth and gums along with your saliva, helping to combat the acid and buildup of bacteria.

10. False: Can you believe it? You simply need to select items that have sugar in them wisely. A food with sugar is safer for teeth if it is eaten with a meal, not as a snack. Cavities form when there are multiple “sugar attacks”.

So the fewer times the teeth are exposed to sugar, the better. Hence, if your child does eat sugary substances, it’s best to do it only once a day, or only at mealtimes. Chewing during a meal helps produce saliva which helps wash away sugary and starchy foods. Warning: sticky foods, like fruit snacks, raisins and other dried fruit and candy are not easily washed away from your child’s teeth by saliva, water or milk, so they have more cavity-causing potential. Talk We now know onlyfoods is it that protect causing bacteria.

The cavityto your dentist aboutnot serving your child’s dental health. By possible, it occurs much more all means, but brush after those sugar attacks!causing culprit is a bacteria known

Everyone knows conditions such as colds, pink eye, and the flu are contagious, but can you catch a cavity?

frequently than most realize.

as Streptococcus mutans. Infants

Whether you got the answers that all right, or all wrong, Dr. Angela and The We’ve known for centuries and children are particularly American of Pediatricto Dentistry wants you totomake sure you sugar is aAcademy major component vulnerable it. A 2007 study schedule appointment your child toperformed see a dentist early as age one! causing an cavities, but it’s for actually atas the University of Let’s our that little hang one’s onto smiling! the keep bacteria teeth Queensland’s School of Dentistry

and feast on remnants of food in Australia revealed that cavityfrom your last meal snack AUSTINcausing bacteria was found in the DR.orANGELA is a Board Certified Pediatric that have the biggest impact on mouths of 30 percent of 3-monthDentist in Alexandria, VA. She specializes in treating causing cavities. Acid is then babies and more than patients aged 1-21. Sheold is also specially trained to 80 treat formed and this, in turn,needs destroys percent 24-month-olds. special patients as well asofpatients with high dental our teeth. alsoChildren’s show thatDentistry most anxiety. She is the owner of Studies Alexandria Just as a cold or the flu virus infants and children pick up this located at 6303 Little River Turnpike, Suite 345, Alexandria, can be passed from person to bacteria from their caregivers!

VA 22312. www.LoveKidsTeeth.com | 703-942-8404 person, so can these cavityExamples of ways to pass the

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M a y / J u n e 2 0 1 6 | FA I R FA X WO M A N . C O M

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bacteria are when a mother tastes a child’s food to make sure it’s not too hot, a caregiver using their own mouth to clean off a pacifier that has dropped, or even sweet kisses!

So, what can we do to avoid this? First, I recommend caregivers keep their teeth in tip-top shape.

Caregivers need to make sure they are visiting their dentist regularly (every six months) and eliminating any dental decay (cavities) that exist in their mouth.

Next, avoid acts like the one’s mentioned above. I know, kisses are unavoidable (as they should be), so make sure caregivers reduce the amount of bacteria in their mouth in order to reduce the chance of transmission. Caregivers need to ensure they are brushing at least twice a day, flossing daily, and using antibacterial mouthwash daily. Drinking water throughout the day is also a great help. And of course, eating healthy.

This means avoiding lots of sugary, acidic and sticky foods and sodas is imperative.

Finally, I can’t help but mention the benefit of chewing sugar-free gum. Because the bacteria is passed from caregivers to infants and children, caregivers who chew xylitol sugar-free gum (examples: Trident, Orbit) are less likely to transmit these bacteria to their children, and cavities among

these children are reduced by up to 70 percent. Studies conducted in Finnish day care centers show that xylitol chewing gum may also reduce ear infections in children by up to 40 percent, another added benefit. Who knew?

Take Home Message: Cavities ARE contagious! Caregivers need to make sure their teeth are in a healthy state to decrease the chance of passing the bacteria onto your children.

For more information or to schedule an appointment with Dr. Angela visit: LoveKidsTeeth.com

Dr. Angela Austin is a

Board-Certified Pediatric Dentist in Alexandria, Virginia. She specializes in treating patients aged 1-21. She is also specially trained to treat special needs patients as well as patients with high dental anxiety. She is the owner of Alexandria Children’s Dentistry with two locations: 6303 Little River Turnpike, Suite 345, Alexandria, VA 22312 and 609 East Monroe Avenue, Alexandria, VA 22301. For more information, contact LoveKidsTeeth.com or call 703-942-8404.

Photos by RUI BARROS

The Wellness Cooperative and the Healing Powers of the Mind-Body Connection

By ODA SOLMS

T

he Wellness Cooperative, situated on South Washington Street in Old Town Alexandria, was shaped by owner Jeanette Wages on the solid foundation of the former acupuncture center, Holistic Touch.

Jeanette took over the reins in April 2018 and brought renewed energy and new services for their faithful clientele. Blooming into a fresh version of the massage and skincare spa, Jeanette was guided by the philosophy of whole-body wellness, including the often-over-looked health of the mind.

September/October 2019 | FA IR FA X WOMA N .C OM

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A Few Minutes with Holistic Empowerment Coach Jeanette Wages Q: What experiences in your own life led you to find your passion for wellness?

Growing up in Germany, I’ve always had a tendency to lean natural when it came to my food and health choices. I’ve also always been really active, walking whenever possible. Moving to Seattle for college was my real introduction to the world of pharmaceuticals and processed foods, and I quickly realized they did not make my body happy. It wasn’t until my 30s, though, that I really learned about and embraced the holistic ideals of wellness.

This year, I had one of the most eye-opening moments and immediately understood why I was meant to build this community and business. It was early January, my four-year relationship ended via text message, and for me it seemed out of nowhere. I was sitting on my bathroom floor with a glass of bourbon trying to figure out what just happened with my life. Trying to figure out how I was going to keep a new business running without the emotional and financial support of the person I thought was my partner in life. I fell apart. But luckily, with the help of my phenomenal team and some clients, I didn’t stay there long. I got reiki. I did emotional release massage. I saw our life coach. I used my essential oils. I went to every workshop we had. I leaned into my community and with their help became more aligned with myself and stronger than I have ever been. I now fully embrace meditation, manifestation, gratitude journaling, and Kundalini yoga. I put so much self-care into my daily existence because without them, I would still be a puddle of sadness on the bathroom floor.

Q: What and who inspired you to purchase the spa and rebrand as your own?

Tequila! I’m kidding, sort of. Honestly, the day Linda asked me if I wanted to buy the business was one of the toughest days of the year for me personally, as it was the anniversary of a dear friend’s suicide. Even with me not being in the brain space to be able to fully understand what I was about to agree to, I knew immediately I was going to say yes. It was a no brainer. I had been managing Holistic Touch for three years at that point and I knew the ins and outs of the business. I loved the team and our clients and had three full years of ideas of the things I would do if given total freedom.

The rebrand was also a given to me. Holistic Touch had built something wonderful and had served their clients well. Without a background in traditional Chinese Medicine, the Holistic Touch brand just didn’t fit my vision. In the beginning, I really wanted to bring the team in on the decisions and what would be their ideal place to work, marrying their ideas with the vision I had been building in my head. The Wellness Cooperative was born. We closed down for one day in between Holistic Touch ending and The Wellness Cooperative beginning to give her a face lift and to give all of us an energetic shift into this new chapter.

Q: What new services did you add when you took over?

With us stepping away from acupuncture and traditional Chinese Medicine, which had dominated the previous business, my number one goal was still to create a healing space with elevated services that were both pampering and wellness-oriented. We really stepped up the level and types of massage we offer to be on a therapeutic and medical grade. I brought in a Master Esthetician to bring balance between the nourishing organic facials and the quick results skin services, adding Dermaplane, LED Facials and Microneedling to meet the needs and preferences of all our clients.

The biggest change in our service menu is our elaborate coaching options. Education is huge to me. I want people to know every level

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S e p t e m b e r / O c t o b e r 2 0 1 9 | FAIRFAXWOM AN.COM

of self-care, why it’s important, and how to truly bring those changes to your life. We now offer Intuitive Life Coaching, Guided Meditation and Spiritual Ascension Guidance with Nathaly, Life Coaching with Positive Psychology with Kristine, Janette and Betty are amazing health coaches, Jenny brings us her background in (therapy) and love of holistic modalities and yoga,, and I have a focus on Empowerment Coaching and public speaking engagements. So, no matter who you are there, is someone here you can relate to and can help guide you along your path.

Q: What are the most popular treatments and services lately?

Crystals, CBD, essential oils, and all things detox are so in right now, which is perfect for us because they are what we have been doing all along (CBD was more recent with the legalization aspect). I would say crystals are my favorite of the trends right now (thank you Instagram).

Not only are they beautiful, they are healing, powerful and dynamic.

You’ll find them all over our space. We also use them in our Jade Stone Facials, our Rose Quartz or Amethyst eye and face masks for relaxing during face-up portions of massage, reiki and facials. They are incorporated in many reiki sessions to align the chakras and some can even be used during massage in a technique similar to cold stone

massage. Just in case you can’t get enough like we can’t, we have them on our retail shelves in raw form, as jewelry, crystal facial rollers, in our rose water spray and we also have the beautiful eye and face masks for sale.

Q: Why is the mind-body connection so important to overall health?

I have gone through periods of my life that have been dominated by migraine and cluster headaches, my whole body will start to hurt, random tremors. And, I have gone to the doctor and been tested for everything under the sun. Nothing. By all accounts, I was perfectly healthy. Clearly, my body was saying otherwise. Every single time something would change in my life, like the end of a relationship or removal of a major stressor, suddenly all the symptoms were gone. To me, the link is clear: When I’m trying to ignore my intuition about a toxic person or situation, when I’m not mitigating my stress, my physical health suffers. The same applies in the other direction as well. When you are in pain, feeling sick or having issues with your skin, these things can start to take a toll on your mental and emotional health. This is why I created a space where people can come and be a whole person, not just a shoulder pain or acne sufferer, but a person who has emotional and mental aspects either contributing to or suffering because of those other issues.

As a domestic violence survivor and having grown up around the military, I have a soft spot in my heart for trauma and PTSD sufferers. I have made it part of my life mission to educate and bring a space for healing. One of my favorite talks was on massage and mental health and how massage can help release not only physical traumas locked in the body, but emotional ones as well.

Q: How is working with a life coach different from working with a therapist?

Let me begin by saying that traditional talk therapy is extremely beneficial to a lot of people for many situations. It was never for me.

I’m more of the person who says, “okay, yes, I have trauma in my past, but it’s over here in the corner packed in duct tape, wrapped (in) barbed wire and dusty, so let’s leave it there and just talk about where I go from here.” To me, that’s the beauty of life. Empowerment and intuitive coaching meet you where you are and look forward.

Does that mean we won’t talk about things from the past that may have created limited beliefs or blocks on your path to where you want to be? Absolutely not. We are going to occasionally talk about some tough stuff, but it will always be framed with where how to move forward.

Q: Tell us about your efforts to give back to the community.

Community involvement is a vital element to the success of this dream.

We are coming into people’s worlds and changing them, hopefully always in a positive way, and those people are going out into the world and being a light. Beyond the idea of changing one person to change the world through our community education and workshops, we also make sure to be involved in causes that touch our hearts and the people around us.

On the 22nd of each month, we offer $22, 30-minute massages or reiki sessions to veterans, active duty, national guard and reservist in our mission to bring awareness and prevention for veteran suicide. I am also the Networking Chair for the St. Jude Walk/Run DC and have worked hard to bring Alexandria to the forefront of cities bringing that walk to life. Though many don’t think of the St. Jude Children’s Research Hospital as a local organization because the hospital is in Memphis, many children from this area have been patients there or have received life-saving treatments locally because of the research done in Memphis. We also try to be involved as often as possible with the ALX Community sandwich-making events for Martha’s Table or local schools.

Really anyway to show our gratitude and spread light and love, you can count us in.

Meet The Team Jeanette Wages is the owner of The Wellness Cooperative, a premier holistic spa in Old Town, Alexandria.

With an extensive background covering many fields, Jeanette has earned a Masters in Linguistics from University of Washington, certification in Aromatherapy from American College of Healthcare Sciences, certification as a Holistic Life Coach from the Spencer Institute, and a certification as an Empowerment Coach from the Universal Coach Institute. She has a passion for serving other and charity work and serves as the Networking Chair for the St. Jude Walk/Run DC, as well as working to promote awareness and prevention of suicide in the veteran community. She is currently authoring a book and creating a podcast focused on practical self-care.

Janette Coffee is a Certified Health Coach at The Wellness Cooperative in Old Town, Alexandria. Janette is passionate about guiding and empowering busy professionals to create happier, healthier lives. Janette leads workshops on nutrition and natural health and offers private, one-on-one health and nutrition coaching. She received her education at the Institute for Integrative Nutrition in New York City, studying dietary theories, contemporary health issues, and Eastern and Western nutrition. She is also an accredited member of the American Association of Drugless Practitioners.

Nathaly Granja is a Spiritual Life Coach that helps conscious leaders awaken to their true soul purpose so they can lead with impact and create personal wealth. She has been featured on WUSA 9 and ABC 7 and has a background as a Reiki Master teacher and Hypnotist.

She incorporates her tools into all of her coaching in order to create real lifelong changes starting on an energetic level. Her method is a beautiful blend between Intuition and Strategy to transform the whole self. You can follow her Instagram for free daily content @NathalyGranja_ or find her at The Wellness Cooperative in Old Town Alexandria.

For more information, visit TheWellnessCooperative.com or call 703299-0500 to schedule your appointment.

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community&events

Why Do They Stay?

At The Women’s Center, this is a question we all grapple with when we hear the painful stories of domestic violence. Since October is National Domestic Violence Awareness Month, we wanted to share some answers to that question and highlight the services that are available.

The answer to “Why do the stay” begins with understanding the human relationship through the lens of power and control. Even women who are highly successful and self-assured in their public lives can have power and control issues in their personal, intimate relationships.

That first step out the door is critical, and for 45 years The Women’s Center has helped thousands of victims of domestic

violence reclaim their lives through the Break the Cycle of Domestic Violence Program (Break the Cycle).

This program provides critical components in the continuum of care for victims that help them find physical safety, economic stability, and improved mental health.

Specific services include: crisis intervention; court accompaniment; trauma-informed, evidencebased mental health counseling; information about accessing

and navigating the criminal, civil, housing, legal, medical, mental health and other service systems; safety planning; referrals to community resources; education about the dynamics of domestic violence and its cyclical nature; long-term care management; financial education and counseling; career mentoring and individual coaching; and, social-connection support groups that foster empowerment and development of trusted connections. In addition, the program provides education to victims and the community, and support to the clinicians working with victims of domestic violence through training, peer and

supervisory support.

The Women’s Center works with the Domestic Violence Action Center, a collaborative of 11 non-profit and governmental organizations, helping survivors navigate the complex legal and social service options to regain control of their lives.

For more information, please visit our website TheWomensCenter.org or Fairfaxcounty.gov/ familyservices/domestic-sexualviolence. To learn more about ways you can support The Women’s Center, we invite you to join us at two upcoming events:

As a nonprofit organization, The Women’s Center relies on philanthropic support to offer subsidized and free care and support to people in need in the community. Mental health services funded in part by Fairfax County.

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law&finance

By Virginia L. Colin, Ph.D.

How to Choose a Divorce Mediator FIRST, A DEFINITION:

Divorce mediation is a private, confidential process in which a trained, impartial professional helps you and your spouse negotiate constructively about the matters you need to resolve: parental decision-making, your parenting schedule, alimony, child support, division of assets and debts, etc. The mediator guides the process.

The parties make the decisions. Instead of assuming that you and your spouse must treat each other as enemies in competition for scarce resources, mediation assumes that you are capable adults and can develop a plan that is OK with both of you.

How can you find a good mediator? You may start by asking for recommendations from relatives, friends, therapists, and/ or people in your faith community.

Visit some mediators’ websites to get a feel for how they think and how they work. Maybe check their profiles on LinkedIn. Then call

the ones who look good and ask questions such as these:

1:

What sort of training and credentials do you have?

A mediator must complete an excellent training and mentorship program to earn state certification in Virginia. State certification is

Child custody? Divorce?

Elder care planning?

Get personal, private, professional help resolving family conflicts peacefully and constructively.

ColinFamilyMediationGroup.com mediatorQ@gmail.com ǀ 703-864-2101 Virginia L Colin, Ph.D. Director, Colin Family Mediation Group LLC,

where we help family members stop fighting, solve problems, and stay out of court

Co-Author, The Guide to Low-Cost Divorce in Virginia Flat Fee Divorce Mediation $2,000.

Details on website.

evidence that a mediator has had training in mediation skills and family law, has worked with mentors, and has enough experience to be trusted.

Some mediators were first trained as lawyers, some were counselors, and some came from a wide variety of other backgrounds and then learned to mediate well.

Be open to the possibilities.

Some lawyers successfully set aside their skills as advocates for one party and do a good job facilitating conversations between two people. Other lawyers say that they know how to mediate but are really conducting adversarial settlement conferences.

2:

How much experience do you have mediating divorces?

3:

Can you provide references?

Most divorce clients do not want to talk about the experience publicly, but some testimonials may be available online.

4: 5:

What fees are involved?

How long will the process take?

In Virginia, any competent mediator can write a Marital Settlement Agreement provided he or she is acting as a scrivener for both parties, not as a lawyer for either party.

6:

Do I need an attorney?

Mediators can provide large and useful amounts of information, but they are not allowed to give legal advice.

7:

If I have a lawyer, should I bring him/her to mediation meetings?

If you bring your lawyer, you have to pay two professionals instead of one for each hour of work. Still, each party has the right to bring his or her attorney if so

desired. If present, the lawyers should act as advisors, not as negotiators. You and your spouse should be the lead negotiators.

8:

Can you write up the settlement agreement we create?

In Virginia, any competent mediator can write a Marital Settlement Agreement provided that s/he is acting as a scrivener for both parties, not as a lawyer for either party.

9:

How much experience do you have with the kinds of problems our family has?

For example — a child with special needs, a history of domestic violence, intermittent substance abuse problems, a family-owned business, a tendency toward loud, intense arguments, etc.

Virginia L. Colin, Ph.D, is a professional family mediator and the Director of Colin Family Mediation Group LLC. Formerly a research psychologist and an Internet talk radio show host, she has been providing family mediation services since 1999. She specializes in helping couples and ex-couples develop co-parenting plans and financial agreements that support their children’s healthy development and their own well-being. She has helped hundreds of couples negotiate the terms of their divorces. Having survived a nightmarish divorce, Dr. Colin actively supports divorce reform efforts, helping people take a lot of the pain, financial cost, acrimony, and trauma out of divorce. Dr. Colin has written two books: Human Attachment (1996), a comprehensive guide to attachment theory and research, and, with Rebecca Martin, The Guide to LowCost Divorce in Virginia (2014). She is a former President of the Academy of Professional Family Mediators. For a free consultation with Dr. Colin, email mediatorQ@gmail.com.

September/October 2019 | FA IR FA X WOMA N .C OM

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community&events

Second Annual ‘Relay for Pre-K’ October 5

The Child & Family Network Centers (CFNC) is hosting its second annual Relay for Pre-K on Saturday, Oct. 5, 2019, at St. Stephen’s and St. Agnes Upper School campus. A

family friendly event, it costs CFNC $12,000 to educate one child for the year, so we’re running around the St. Stephen’s and St. Agnes track 12 times. All proceeds from this family

fun event benefit free preschool for vulnerable children in Alexandria.

Registration is free and participants who raise $100 or more will get an event t-shirt!

The three-mile walk will begin at approximately 10 a.m., with registration beginning at 9 a.m.

Attendees are also invited to enjoy food, drinks, live entertainment, and more around the field.

Relay for Pre-K is a fun, familyfriendly way for the entire community to come together to change the lives of Alexandria’s most at-risk preschoolers. By participating in Relay for Pre-K, you are making it possible for Alexandria’s low-income children to get an early education they might not otherwise receive.

If that wasn’t reason enough to sign up, relay participants are eligible to win prizes for fundraising!

CFNC provides early education for children in Alexandria living at or below 25 percent of the poverty

level. These are children of working families who make too much for programs like Head Start, but not enough to afford private pre-k. All proceeds from the relay will help CFNC off-set the total yearly cost of $12,000 not covered by other funding sources to educate one child.

For more information about Relay for Pre-K, registration, and sponsorships, contact Development Manager Maggie Klefstad at mklefstad@cfnconline.org. To register, visit relay.cfnc-online.org.

A huge thank you to our Relay for Pre-K sponsors: Silver Sponsor: David & Diann Frantz Bronze Sponsors: BB&T, CroppMetcalfe, Jack Taylor’s Alexandria Toyota, OneLife Fitness, Rosemont Landscaping

JOIN US FOR THE

19th Annual Heroines of Washington Awards Gala Presented by Perspecta benefiting March of Dimes WHEN

Tuesday, November 19 6:00 P.M. WHERE

The Ritz Carlton, Tysons Corner 1700 Tysons Blvd, McLean, VA 22102

© 2019 March of Dimes

Heroines of Washington is one of Washington’s most unique events, recognizing and honoring professional women in the D.C. metro area for their dedication to community service. Formerly Heroines in Technology, March of Dimes has expanded this gala to honor women for their community service in various industries. Since 2001, March of Dimes has honored 118 heroines and raised more than $3.1 million to fight for the health of all moms and babies.

For sponsorship, corporate tables and ticket information, visit: MARCHOFDIMES.ORG/HEROINES

Presenting sponsor

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Gold sponsors

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the

Power of daily no

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of affirmation

ONE WOMAN’S STORY ON HOW TO MOVE ON FROM LIFE’S DREADFUL PLOT TWISTS

BY DANIELLE DAILY n a warm September day, I arrived home to discover divorce papers taped to my front door. It was official, my marriage was going to fail, and I wasn’t sure I could figure out how to unlock the front door, let alone keep breathing once I’d stepped inside. I’d gone to a yoga class, and in my absence, I’d been served.

Peeling the tape away from the door and seeing what the papers contained, I felt both fear and shame. What if the neighbors had seen? Could I just pretend I hadn’t received the papers since I hadn’t signed for them?

How could I stop this?

Just as my marriage was ending, my career was heading towards a peak.

Would you believe just 48-hours later I was scheduled to step on a global stage to deliver my first TEDx talk? Looking back, that September day was both the worst and the best day of my life. You can probably imagine why it felt like the worst day, but now in retrospect, how did it also become the best?

O

“If life as you know it falls apart, you’ll probably find yourself feeling some difficult things and asking some hard questions. It’s best not to be stuck in your head figuring it all out alone.”

Because that day was the day I started talking to myself about who I would become.

But first, I talked to my mom. Actually, my mom talked to me in my head. I heard her voice repeating something she’d often said to me in life, “Things will look better in the morning, sweetie.” I laughed a little inside as I thought about the divorce papers in my hand and felt pretty confident mom was going to be wrong this time. But, instead of jumping into action, I forced myself to put what was happening out of my mind and went to bed early with the insane hope I’d wake up and find those papers had been a bad dream.

When I woke up in the morning, the papers were still real, and I didn’t feel any less upset. However, what I realized over my morning cup of tea was this: What I decided to do that day would define me for the rest of my life. I had the option to either crawl under the covers and cry until I evaporated or ask for support from my family and friends so they could send me the strength I needed in order to be able to straighten my skirt and get on the TEDx stage, wounded heart and all. (continued next page) September/October 2019 | FA IR FA X WOMA N .C OM

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(continue)

WHAT I DID WANT WAS TO STAGE AN COMEBACK!

EPIC

I chose the second option, and I have never looked back. Today, I wish I could go back in time to applaud the girl who made that decision and hug her tight.

She was heartbroken and vulnerable, but she was so brave, and I am so darn proud of her! Some of my favorite photos of me were taken when I delivered my talk two days later, and they will always be favorites because I am glowing. I’m not glowing because I was happy, I’m glowing because I was powerful.

After I delivered my talk and came down from the high of making a powerful decision and having so many people rise up in support of me, I had to start dealing with the reality of the legal stuff that goes along with divorce and I started to grieve my losses. The future I thought I’d have, the blood, sweat, and tears I’d poured for years into a marriage I couldn’t save, the roles of wife, lover, and friend.

One of the biggest days of grieving for me that year was September 22 — my husband’s 40th birthday — a milestone birthday I had looked forward to us celebrating together since we first met in college. That morning, I woke up bright and early and immediately remembered what day it was. I felt so empty as I headed downstairs to make myself my cup of tea. Later that day, after showering and opening the windows to let some fresh air in and the heaviness of grief out, I found myself walking by the full-length mirror in my bedroom.

I noticed I’d lost weight. At that time, I remember it took me three days to eat a single chicken breast and maybe a green bean or two. However, it wasn’t how my body looked that day that drew my attention. It was what was peeking out at me from behind my own eyes. There was a sparkle there, which moved me to walk towards the mirror and take a closer look.

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As I stood before the mirror, gazing into my own eyes, words of love suddenly started to pour from my mouth. Like a crazy person, I was talking to myself out loud! To anyone walking by the window, I would have appeared completely unhinged. When the words stopped, I thought to myself how much I wanted to remember this day and those loving words because I knew there were going to be days ahead when I would feel like there was no love in my life. I wanted to remember that even if no one ever loved me again, at that moment I had loved myself fully and completely.

I went downstairs to where my laptop was set up on the kitchen island and opened Facebook. I decided to write down what I’d said to myself in the form of a “note to self” post, so that each year on that day I’d get a reminder in my memories of these loving words. Friends responded with love and enthusiasm for what I’d written, and one even asked if she could print my words and tape them

to her bathroom mirror. I loved the way it felt knowing my words made others happy, so I decided to write another “note to self” the next day. The positive feedback kept coming and it felt so good to be reminded that I was appreciated. After months of writing a daily note, it dawned on me that if I wrote one each day for a year, I’d have enough to publish a book!

Talking about what I was going through publicly through these notes was a big help in my healing process.

If life as you know it falls apart, you’ll probably find yourself feeling some difficult things and asking some hard questions. It’s best not to be stuck in your head figuring it all out alone. The hardest question I found myself asking during the process of grief was, “Do I want to die?”

I wasn’t suicidal, rather, I knew that intense grief was the sort of thing that causes people to question whether they can or even want to keep going, so I asked myself. I’m glad I did because the answer that came back was that I didn’t want to die. What I did want was to stage an epic comeback!

(continue)

“My epic comeback meant taking the pieces of my life and putting them back together in a way that made me happy and left me lots of room to grow.

I didn’t know exactly what that would mean at the moment, but it has come to mean having conversations with others about loss, mistakes, and triumphs. It has come to mean becoming a professional speaker and popular podcast guest, providing women around the country with a mentor as they learn the ropes of entrepreneurship and personal branding through my 10-minute mentorship, hosting “The Suddenly Single Show,” the inspirational podcast for people who find themselves suddenly single. It has also come to mean learning to live life without a partner, making new friends, preparing for my second TEDx talk, and sharing the whole grand adventure with people I love from any microphone, camera, stage, or computer I can get access to.

My epic comeback meant taking the pieces of my life and putting them back together in a way that made me happy and left me lots of room to grow.

I’m still growing and I haven’t figured it all out yet (not even close), but I’m doing my best and I’m certain the life I’ve already lived the past few years on my own is far happier and more fulfilling than the life I lived before my life fell apart. For that, I am grateful.

The details of my story may be unique to me, but experiencing a plot twist in life isn’t. We all experience loss and every loss creates a space for us to explore who we are now and what’s next for us. I can’t think of a better way to figure that out than writing a loving and encouraging note to yourself each day. One heartbreaking loss, one incredible opportunity to grow.

PHOTO BY RUI BARROS PHOTOGRAPHY

Danielle Daily is a TEDx speaker, author, anthropologist, and the host of The Suddenly Single Show. Her book, “Dear Self, I Love You! Keep Going!” reveals the raw pain of a broken heart, the beauty of an unexpected love, and the power of being okay with things not being okay. Danielle embodies what it means to learn to dance in the rain. You can reach her online at Danielle@SuddenlySingleShow.com.

JUST BECAUSE I WAS WRITING MYSELF AN ENCOURAGING NOTE EACH DAY, DOESN’T MEAN EVERY DAY FELT LIKE A GOOD DAY. SOMETIMES THE DAY WAS SO HARD THE BEST ENCOURAGEMENT I COULD COME UP WITH WAS SOMETHING LIKE, “THERE’S ALWAYS TOMORROW.” AT THE TIME I DIDN’T KNOW IT, BUT WRITING TO MYSELF LIKE THIS REALLY HELPED ME PROCESS MY GRIEF. IF YOU READ MY BOOK, WHICH CONTAINS THE COMPLETE COLLECTION OF BEAUTIFULLY DESIGNED NOTES, YOU’LL BE ABLE TO TRACE THE OUTLINE OF MY DAILY EMOTIONAL JOURNEY THROUGH LOSS AND EMPTINESS TO DETERMINATION, STRENGTH, AND HOPE. “DEAR SELF, I LOVE YOU! KEEP GOING!” IS AVAILABLE ON AMAZON. September/October 2019 | FA IR FA X WOMA N .C OM

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The Spa. The rise and flow of the tides have long impacted the livelihood of Maryland’s Eastern Shore, and Sago Spa & Salon, situated on the Choptank River, has managed to capture the bounty of this great land and deliver life, vitality, and nourishment to all spa guests. The rich ecosystems of the Eastern Shore region are the inspiration behind Sago Spa & Salon. The spa’s namesake, sago, is a strong underwater grass in the Chesapeake Bay that provides life and nourishment to the surrounding waters and its inhabitants. Treatments are rooted in natural, sea-based products, and they are known for their revitalizing and rejuvenating effects. Features include a steamroom and sauna, and an expanded modern salon complete with hair, make-up, and nail stations. Eco-friendly materials were used in the construction whenever possible, from the limestone reception desk to the salon’s recycled glass tile.

The Golf. The River Marsh Golf Club at Hyatt Chesapeake Bay is Maryland’s leading Eastern Shore golf course with two impressive finishing holes. The 17th is a par 3 that stretches 200 yards from the tips. Awaiting the bold player is a dramatic carry over Shoal Creek to a large putting surface guarded by three artfully crafted bunkers. The green is backdropped by majestic trees and a stunning vista of the broad Choptank River that flows into the Chesapeake Bay. As spectacular as the 17th is, it merely sets the table for the truly beautiful 18th. This classic risk/reward hole is reachable in two by big hitters. The Choptank River runs along the hole’s left side from tee to green, as does a vast coastal bunker that meanders into the wide fairway at the prime second-shot landing area.

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OWNER, MERMAID’S COTTAGE SHARE WITH US THE HISTORY OF MERMAID’S COTTAGE! Maybe in another life I was a Mermaid! I have always loved the beach. I always have a shell in my pocket.

My creativity and my quest to save the earth founded “The Mermaid’s Cottage”. Seven years ago, after a career change and seeing what I could do with discarded stuff, I rented a small room in a shop in Lothian, Maryland. Two years later I moved to a bigger location, Gypsy Faire, selling my custommade farmhouse tables, benches, islands, repurposed furniture and home goods. Then an even bigger explosion, Mermaid’s Cottage at The Shops at Ogdens Commons, where I could offer other vendors the same opportunity I had. It’s called destination shopping; being open one weekend a month and having the rest of the month to search, find, salvage, build, create, paint and offer for sale at the next opening.

WHAT INSPIRED YOU TO OPEN MERMAID’S COTTAGE? Opportunity! I kept driving by the old Ogden’s store and seeing the “For Sale” sign. I mentioned buying it to Jeff, my partner, and of course he said “No it’s too old, you buy it!” – so I did! I love the old building; it’s unlevel floors, quirky corners, and real bead board walls. I love the fact that for over 100 years people have come and gathered on the front porch. I knew I could put life back into to her rundown appearance.

TELL US A LITTLE BIT ABOUT YOURSELF (OWNER, BARBY HARMS):

WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE THING ABOUT OWNING A LOCAL BUSINESS?

Longtime resident of Calvert County with a passion for “Saving the Earth”. In high school, my friend Patty Stennitt and I started Earth Day in Calvert County in 1971. I have always loved to create. I got a lot from both my parents; my mom was very creative and my dad taught me how to use the tools. I have been known to climb into a dumpster or stop on the side of the road for a piece of furniture that still had life in it. When I look at a piece of furniture I see the craftsmanship, I think of the memories it holds, and I look for what I can do to breath new life in it.

The community and getting to know our customers! We look forward to seeing everyone from month to month and hearing their stories of what they have created or where they have placed pieces they have purchased from us. I love the questions they bring in or the help they need to complete a project.

WHAT’S NEXT? WHO KNOWS!! I AM ALWAYS DREAMING! ALWAYS EXPANDING! I WANT TO CONTINUE TO PROVIDE ONE OF A KIND ITEMS AT AFFORDABLE PRICES. I WAS GIVEN A CAMPER TRAILER THAT I GUTTED AND REFINISHED FOR OUR CAMP SALVAGE, WHERE WE SELL SALVAGE PIECES. ALSO, WE RECENTLY REPLACED AN OLD TOBACCO BARN THAT WAS ON THE PROPERTY (AND YES I SAVED ALL THE BARNWOOD AND TIN!) AND IT WILL SOON BE READY TO HOST WEDDINGS, PARTIES, ETC.

WHAT IS ONE THING YOU WOULD LOVE THE COMMUNITY TO KNOW ABOUT YOU AND YOUR BUSINESS? It’s ever changing! What you see one month, most likely won’t be there next month. Each piece we save is handpicked, and a lot of love and thought goes into it. We can create just about anything.

We keep a running list for pieces customers are looking for so when we are out searching, we can look for them. My daughter, Julie, holds paint classes every month and we sell Dixie Belle Paint products.

WHAT IS YOUR GREATEST ACCOMPLISHMENT THUS FAR? The bond that Mermaid’s Cottage has created with my family. I have two creative sisters (Chris and Peggy), a brother (John), and two fantastic daughters (Julie and Laurie) – they all help out in the shop, along with my partner (Jeff) who helps create some of my visions!

In each issue Southern Maryland Woman magazine recognizes a woman doing exceptional work in the community, a leader who is paving the way to changing our attitudes and inspiring confidence in the future. To nominate a champion to be featured in an upcoming issue e-mail: oda@southernmarylandwoman.com

September/October 2019 | FA IR FA X WOMA N .C OM

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Support. Information. Hope.

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Please join us for coffee at our Second Saturday Divorce Workshop and get the information and support from professionals: a family law attorney, a financial adviser, a family therapist, a private investigator, an estate planning attorney or other professionals who will help guide you through the divorce process. Speakers vary for each workshop.

Registration at the door; however, pre-registration is recommended as space is limited.

Online Registration: www.secondsaturdaynova.com Email: nancy@secondsaturdaynova.com Phone: (703) 591-7475

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Curly hair has a language all its own. It is beautiful, sexy, mysterious, and unpredictable. Everyone with curly hair has the potential to enhance their overall look without resorting to harsh chemical hair straighteners or excessive use of a flat iron. Each head of curly hair is unique. Start your great curly hair journey with the right cut. Once you experience a great curly haircut and learn the proper techniques for curly styling, you will embrace your curly hair and feel confident that you can maintain a style that will get you rave reviews.

As a curly hair expert, I have the experience and skill to transform the most challenging set of tresses. I start by diagnosing the very personality type of your curls – lovely, mellow, mad, angry, or even chaotic curls – and set about coaxing them into shape in just the right way. Having perfected my techniques over 41 years, in addition to my own luxuriously curly hair, I encourage you to embrace your irresistible, natural

ringlets and let them flow naturally. I enjoy sharing my lifetime of sensible secrets with anyone who has ever had a squabble with their follicles.

Living my life with curly hair, learning how it thinks, what makes it react or talk back, sometimes thinking I had lost, and my curls had won, I finally gave in and made peace with my curls. Through it all, I was determined to become an expert on curly hair. It is my lifelong pursuit and is the inspiration behind my selfprofessed moniker of ‘Curlyologist SM.’ I am often asked what my secret is when it comes to achieving a great cut for curly hair. It has taken me years to develop what I call the Diamond Technique. Where most people encounter problems with cutting curly hair is a flatter top and a bell-shaped bottom. With the Diamond Technique, I can give you fullness in the crown without sacrificing length around the face. The bell-shaped bottom is eliminated, and you achieve an even curl from the top down. My Diamond Technique is applicable to every type of curly hair.

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By Melinda Kernc

ASO’s Maestro Ross Re-imagines the Symphony Attendees of Alexandria Symphony Orchestra’s opening concert of the 2019-2020 season are in for a unique experience. Maestro James Ross, now in his second season as Music Director, continues to question concert formats and reinvent how classical music can be presented. For the season opener, Ross has arranged his own “Imaginary Symphony,” drawing from movements by four composers across centuries and continents. Each movement is part of a cohesive symphonic work that reflects on human conflict, both war and peace.

“Conductors are rarely composers’, but we are certainly the most personal advocates for other composer’s works,” says Maestro Ross. “By excerpting some of the strongest movements from existing works, I hope to shed deserved light on composers and pieces that have lain fairly absent from our concert halls. I hope to animate the audience to search out and discover the full works from which they come.”

Launching the season on

Oct. 5 and 6, 2019, this concert program commemorates the 75th anniversary of D-Day. The “Imaginary Symphony” depicts visions of beauty juxtaposed with the realities of war. The first movement sets the scene, borrowed from William Walton’s Symphony No. 1 (mvt. 1) and composed prior to WWII; dark and intense, the movement is riddled with anxiety and agitation. Amy Beach’s Gaelic Symphony (mvt.

2) paints pastoral and scenic

19/20

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ImagInary Symphony Saturday, Oct 5, 2019 ∙ 8 p.m.

Sunday, Oct 6, 2019 ∙ 3 p.m.

The ASO’s season opens with Beethoven’s Triple Concerto featuring soloists Rita Sloan (piano), Nicholas Tavani (violin) and Alan Richardson (cello) under the direction of Maestro James Ross.

Adult: $20-$85 Student: $10 Youth: $5

(703) 548-0885 34

•

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S e p t e m b e r / O c t o b e r 2 0 1 9 | FAIRFAXWOM AN.COM

landscapes, images of beauty and peace. Beach’s symphony was the first to be composed and published by an American woman, decades before women were granted the right to vote.

An excerpt from suffragist Ethel Smyth’s opera The Wreckers furthers Beach’s narrative with “On the Cliffs of Cornwall.”

Smyth made the acquaintance of Dvorák, Grieg, Tchaikovsky, Brahms and Clara Schumann and was romantically tied to Emmeline Pankhurst and Virginia Woolf. Composed in 1946, Arthur Honegger’s Third Symphony (mvt.

3) presents a war march that evaporates into a call for peace.

Honegger spent WWII in occupied France, and his symphony contemplates the tragedy of human loss.

Prior to the “Imaginary Symphony,” the ASO will present Tidbit No. 1 by Lionel Semiatin. The composer served as a corporal in the Army and fought on the beaches of Normandy during D-Day. Semiatin’s daughter, Gene Pohl, plays frequently with the ASO and will perform with the viola section. “Semiatin makes the experience of war feel personal,” comments Ross. “It’s a kind of love letter to the positive spirit of the

country he was missing.”

The remainder of the program features Beethoven’s Triple Concerto with renowned soloists Rita Sloan (piano), Nicholas Tavani (violin) and Alan Richardson (cello). Tavani and Richardson perform frequently as members of the famed Aeolus Quartet. Ms. Sloan has performed along many distinguished artists as well as with orchestras and chamber ensembles throughout the United States. She serves on the music faculty at the University of Maryland.

The Alexandria Symphony Orchestra’s 2019-2020 season opens on Saturday, Oct. 5, 2019 (8 p.m.) at the Rachel M. Schlesinger Concert Hall and Arts Center on the Alexandria campus of Northern Virginia Community College and Sunday, Oct. 6, 2019 (3 p.m.) at the George Washington Masonic Memorial. Free parking is provided, and both venues are metro accessible. Five-concert adult subscriptions start at $86, single tickets range $20-$85. To purchase tickets and for more information, visit www.alexsym.org or call (703) 548-0885.

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Hadeed, the People you’ve trusted for over 90 years, Now Bring the same Quality Cleaning to everyone!

*

in-Plant rug % Cleaning

20 OFF

Wal-to-Wall CarPet steam CleaNiNg

(on one rug)

*Not valid w/any other offers. Expires 10/20/19.

HardWood floor CleaNiNg & PolisHiNg *Not valid w/any other offers. Expires 10/20/19.

Before

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in-Plant rug % Cleaning

20 OFF (on one rug)

Look for us on You Tube for Expert Tips & Advice on How Best to Care for Your Precious Rugs!

After *

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Pet Stains Removed Faster than Ever!

Stain Free Rugs for Fee of Just $130!† Most Stubborn Pet Stains Removed!

Your one Stop Source for expert In-plant & In-Home cleanIng ServIceS. IN-PLANT SERVICES Oriental Rug Cleaning

Rug Repair & Restoration

Rug Storage & Appraisals

IN-Home SERVICES

Rug Padding Sales

Wall to Wall Steam Cleaning

Upholstery Cleaning

Hadeed

Tile & Grout Cleaning

Free Pickup & Delivery!

Wood Floor Cleaning

Air Duct Cleaning

Free Pickup & Delivery Includes: Furniture Moving and Rolling & Laying the Rugs!**

Oriental Rug Cleaning & In-Home Services HADEED

Our Convenient Dropoff Locations

535 W. Maple Ave Vienna VA

Call today for a free estimate!

. . .

HADEED/

Hanna Ayoub

4918 Wisconsin Ave DC /MD

HADEED

HADEED

3206 Duke St. Alexandria VA

Headquarters

6628 Electronic Dr. Springfield VA

703-836-1111

www.joehadeed.com

**Available in MD, DC, & VA. Min. order required, some restrictions apply. Doesn’t include breakables. Call for details. †Some addit’l fees may apply.

Dryer Vent Cleaning

HADEEDMErcEr

3116 W. Moore St. Richmond VA

Local Postal Customer

HADEEDHONAr

330 North Stonestreet Ave.-A Rockville, MD

PRSRT STD ECRWSS US Postage PAID EDDM Retail