6 minute read
Homeland and Household
HOMELANDANDHOUSEHOLD
By Shota Konno
Children learning an instrument at a young age, parents buying the best substitute ingredients for traditional recipes, attending distant schools to learn a language, and many other activities encapsulate the Asian American experience. Asian American households include both the culture and interactions between family members residing under the same roof. They possess characteristics that distinguish them from not only households of other ethnicities but Asian households as well. Although Asian American households remain distinct from Asian households, they do share similarities, particularly when it comes to parenting. No sleepovers, no television, no video games. These are three familiar rules that come from a long list associated with Asian parenting, known as tiger parenting. Many people have attributed this style of parenting to Asian households because of the stereotypes and inaccurate representation of Asians and Asian Americans. This misconception causes a problem because the upbringing of Asian and Asian American children isn’t monolithic; not all parents are tiger parents, and many cultures and nationalities have different customs that differ from the perceptions of outsiders. Asian and Asian American households, while distinct, share the similarity that not all households practice tiger parenting. Weiqing Han grew up in one such household. Weiqing goes by Angel, a name given to her by her English teacher in China. In eighth grade, she immigrated to the United States with her mother and younger brother. Angel is a third-year computer science student at the University of Florida, and she is the president of the Chinese American Student Association. She embraces the idea that parents should not force their children to participate in extracurricular activities.
“Many Asian households emphasize academics, [and Asian children] learn piano, learn violin, and do a sport [because their parents] always say it’s good for you. My mom told my teacher not to force me. I would practice during the lesson and learn the new piece at the end. The rest of the kids had to go home and practice before lessons,” Han said. Angel’s upbringing defes the Asian tiger parenting stereotype. In the book “Battle Hymn of the Tiger Mother,” author Amy Chua tells the story of raising her daughters Sophia and Louisa as a Chinese mother and molding them into successful children through strict household rules. One such rule was not to play any instruments other than the violin and piano, which reflects the common stereotype that all Asian children play the violin or the piano (or both).
Like Angel, not all Asian and Asian American children experience tiger parenting. The concept paints a monolithic image of Asian and Asian American upbringings that fails to represent different ethnicities, cultures, and experiences. Different parents have different ways of parenting, but they all share the goal of raising their children as best they can. “People think they have all these plans for you, and you have to listen,” Han said. Remembering how she and her brother learned music, she agreed with how her parents raised her.
“Interest is your best teacher,” she affrmed. “My mom never forced [my brother] to do anything. He loves to experiment and try out new things.”
Angel’s brother plays the piano and saxophone, and he performs in his high school marching band. Angel also performed in her high school marching band as a flutist, and she plays the piano and ukulele as well. Her parents fostered her curiosity and desire to learn, and she continues to fnd new ways to harness her creativity. Recently, she tried the kalimba and enjoyed it. Angel continues to study diligently and pursue her interests, despite her parents not demanding it.
“They never forced me to, but I wanted to do my best. In terms of academics, my parents are actually pretty different from my friends’ families in China,” she said. “Your parents teach you to have good character. If they’re doing their best, what’s the reason why I’m not doing my best?”
Similarly, Chihiro Sugiyama attends UF, but as an exchange student from Japan. Raised in Nagoya, Japan, Chihiro travelled to the U.S. after completing three years at a Japanese university. She expressed her enthusiasm for attending the university when she arrived in the U.S. earlier this year.
“I have something to drive for a lot, so I wanted to pursue my studies through an international exchange,” she said. Chihiro noted the lack of Japanese grocery stores in Gainesville. She had to adjust to the food at the dining hall because there is a variety of cuisines. “Because it is hard to fnd the ingredients I used in Japan, I rely on seasoning to make things taste like they would at home. Japanese cuisine is the most valuable object in my dorm,” said Chihiro.
Like many Asians and Asian Americans in Gainesville, Chihiro shops at the local Asian grocery stores for imported ingredients. Asian American households rely on expensive imports to prepare food found in the homeland and maintain family recipes. In contrast, Asian families have access to many essential ingredients because they live where they are produced.
Oftentimes, Asian American households are culturally isolated, and their distance from the cultures they embrace make it challenging for them to express their cultural heritage. Asian Americans must adjust to the vacuum of culture in their environment, which includes religion and language. Frequently, Asian Americans have no opportunity to speak their ethnic language or even learn it.
First-year microbiology student Nichapa Dancharnjitt serves as the multimedia coordinator for the Thai-Lao Student Association
at UF. She feels a disconnect between Asian American households
and religion, as well as Asian American households’ lack of ability to learn languages. “I’ve noticed that religion is not often enforced in Asian American households compared to Asian households. Also, languages [other than English] are not taught often in Asian American households compared to Asian households,” she said.
Nichapa’s mother’s side of the family resides in Thailand, so she compared her experiences as an Asian American to those of her family’s.
“There are different expectations that are held with culture, education, way of living, etc. Parenting and/or relationships with parents and children are also different. My parents sometimes don’t understand concepts related to mental health,” said Nichapa.
She added, “I often see in Asian households that mental health is viewed as a weakness, which is the perception that my parents grew up with. In my experience it has been a struggle because explaining how I feel to them isn’t always the smoothest conversation, but they try their best and that’s all I can ask for.”
Asian and Asian American households parallel each other; they share similarities, yet they remain distinct. Both Asian and Asian American households raise their children in unique ways that the monolithic representation of tiger parenting cannot accurately describe. How Asian and Asian American households function
differs because of the context.
Cherishing cultural heritage poses a challenge for many Asian American households in contrast to Asian households
because they fnd themselves isolated distant from their homeland. By
the unique lifestyles and cultural practices associated with Asian in communities
highlighting
American households, the distinction between
Asian and Asian
American households
will become clear.
