Let’s Talk About It

Exploring the differences in communication styles between Eastern and Western societies

By Hanna De La Garza

Growing up Asian in America, it is normal to see many differences between oneself and one’s peers. One of the most noticeable differences many Asians and Asian Americans fnd that they have is the inability to communicate assertively. Although many may view this as a personal character flaw, this is actually a common trait in personalities within Asian cultures due to sociological factors.

In flms and television shows, it is common to see Asians and Asian Americans portrayed as being timid and unassertive. According to a 2020 poll conducted by the Morning Consult, a global intelligence company, 45% of Asian Americans identifed timidness as one of the most frequent stereotypes for Asian roles in the media.

One of the more comical portrayals of this is in the “Pitch Perfect” flm franchise. The series features a character called Lilly Onakuramara, a rapper for the acapella group that the flms are centered around. When she is not performing, she is known for speaking extremely quietly to the point that many of the characters struggle to understand what she’s saying. The character description in her poster for the frst flm states, “The Quiet One.”

While including characters like this may seem harmless, they feed into certain beliefs that society already has about Asians and Asian Americans. This is damaging because it may lead to them being viewed as one-dimensional individuals.

communication is a phenomenon that can be explained by cultural differences. South Asian and Southeast Asian countries in

particular have collectivist cultures.

Collectivism is characterized by emphasis on cohesiveness among individuals and prioritization of the group over the individual. As a result, collectivist cultures, such as those of China, Korea and Japan, emphasize family and group goals above individual needs or desires.

This can be seen in the way that Asian countries value social order. In particular, there is hierarchy within both the family and other interpersonal relationships. One of the most important principles in these countries is respect for elders. For instance, in China and Korea, it is common to use both hands when accepting objects from and giving objects to those who are older. Etiquette like this is used to maintain a sense of respect and avoid conflict in relationships.

In contrast, Western cultures typically value individualism. Individualism refers to

the prioritization of one’s own needs and desires over the group. This explains why in America, many individuals aim to be independent and unique. From a very young age, children in America are told that they are unique and different from everyone else through different institutions, including the media, education, and family. Although this is generally a positive sentiment, it contributes to a psychological separation of the individual from the group.

These differences in principles serve as a foundational explanation for varying communication styles. As mentioned before, Asians commonly trend toward non-assertive communication, and it isn’t necessarily due to being shy or timid, but more because of a desire to maintain

harmony.

Due to their collectivist nature, Asians generally avoid freely expressing their opinions, especially in public, in order to avoid disagreement and unpleasant encounters. Some even believe that those

who are highly educated or of high social status should control their emotions

and expressions. Despite the fact that there’s a tendency to neutralize emotions, Asians exhibit a high perception of others’ emotions and feelings. some people may experience feelings of dissonance if they are in a society that prioritizes values opposite to their own. Some Asian Americans may feel out of place because their use of non-assertive communication does not coincide with

the assertive culture that is valued in the

United States.

So, why is this important? Having knowledge about these cultures allows for a better understanding as to why certain stereotypes develop. Additionally, this not only affects social perceptions of Asians and Asian Americans alike, but it may also influence future work and career

opportunities because assertiveness is one of the most common expectations for leaders.

“The Quiet One”

In a study on the cultural impacts of non-assertiveness in the workplace, Jensen Chung, a professor emeritus in Communication Studies, stated, “In the American mainstream culture, to lead is to ‘influence,’ and assertiveness is often defned as being able to influence others and articulate one’s own views. When a

person is perceived as being unable to communicate his or her views, influencing is limited.”

Chung’s analysis explains why Asians may not be perceived as competent leaders, making it more diffcult for them to acquire leadership positions.

Tram Lai, a fourth-year student studying psychology and criminology, explained how she is a non-assertive communicator

because of the small possibility that she could be wrong about something. Additionally, she discussed how it’s common for individuals from a collectivist

culture to value being humble. Coming off as “cocky” or a “know-it-all” when meeting someone, especially those who are higher up in position, is seen as disrespectful.

When asked if she felt that she needed

to change this trait, she admitted, “Sometimes you need to be assertive for people to take you seriously or for people to do their job correctly. It will affect me career-wise.” non-confrontational and likes to please others. This desire to maintain harmony is a recurring trend among Asians and Asian Americans.

“Socially, I feel like it makes my personality seem kind of bland because I’m just agreeable to everything. Similarly, I think it could affect my potential career ventures by not standing my ground on certain issues of importance to me,” she said.

It is clear that non-assertive

communication is a common trait among members of the Asian and Asian American

community. However, despite this cultural trend, there are many individuals that are breaking the stereotype.

Consider Ellie Lee, a Korean American TV host, actress, and social media influencer. Lee has been a host for major entertainment companies, including VH1, MTV, and iHeartRadio. Her interviews with big-name celebrities helped her launch her career and create a name for herself in the

industry.

Although she is known for her big personality, the TV host has detailed her struggles with being the “quiet Asian” in the past. In an interview, she explained how she has been humiliated in the past for not speaking up, and her experiences pushed her to establish a voice for herself.

As mentioned before, neither collectivism or individualism is inherently good or bad. In the same respect, non-assertive communication is neither good nor bad. It is important to acknowledge areas that may need improvement, and if Asians and Asian Americans feel that

using non-assertive communication will disadvantage them socially or career-wise, then that is something they can change.

At the same time, it is just as important to recognize the value of non-assertive communication and why it is utilized in the frst place. This method of communication comes from a desire to foster positive social relationships. While it may not necessarily be preferable in a Western society like the U.S., there is validity in using it depending on the circumstances.

It is important to be aware of these cultural differences as well as the value of them.

Having a better understanding will allow for members within this society to better acclimate and interact with one another