No Fats, Fems or Asians An exploration into the gay dating bias
by Zohra Qazi photography/ Isabella Billones
Carlos is a gay 23-year-old information technology major at the University of Central Florida. For him, like many other gay Asian men, dating comes with its own unique set of challenges. Dating in the LGBT community is already difficult, but as a gay Asian, with racism involved, it is even harder to find love.
26 | fall 2019
The statement “No Fats, Fems, or Asians” — and other discriminatory statements — is a common sight on dating apps like Grindr. It’s usually displayed on the profiles of white gay men, masking their thinly veiled racism as a “preference.” This “preference,” h o w e v e r, h a r m s LG B T A s i a n s b y feeding into the dehumanizing stereotype that Asian members of the LGBT community are submissive and passive. It reconstructs the Asian i d e n t i t y a s a “ typ e ,” a llo w in g th is “preference” to be interchangeable with one’s racial and ethnic identity. This racial “preference” can affect Asian individuals’ romantic and sexual value within LGBT communities. “It definitely has a big impact in terms of the kinds of people I end up
interacting with or want to interact with,” Carlos said. Kyle Wong, a gay 21-year-old UCF communications major, is no stranger to such statements or “preferences.” “People would just block me,” Wong said. “Obviously, it hurts to hear or see those things, but I just don’t let them bother me or get to me.” “It does make you feel excluded,” said Jeremy Capalad, “especially when the [LGBT] community talks about love and acceptance.” As a gay Asian, it’s common to feel this sort of exclusion when confronted with these negative, racist statements. Along with this exclusion, Capalad, a senior studying social sciences at
design/ Ann Dang
I
t’s a typical weeknight when Lou Carlos finds himself on dating apps like Bumble and Grindr. In his search for love and friendship, he ends up swiping through countless profiles and scrolling through endless photos. It’s a kaleidoscope of pictures, names and interests of possible matches. That is, until Carlos ends up face-to-face with a profile that declares “No Rice Queens,” “No Asians” and “No Fats, Fems, or Asians.”
