SPIRITUAL • PHYSICAL • EDUCATIONAL • MENTAL • FASHION • ENTERTAINMENT Vol 3. | 3.1.2014
A TRIBUTE TO WOMEN’S HISTORY MONTH
AMattie Woman’s Power Whitfield TONING & RESEARCH with Denise
Mind Stability Comes by Letting Go of Negativity - NinaMotivatesU
Photo Credit: Nolen James
A Look at Happiness Robert A. Walker II
Welcome to the third volume of SpeakIT News an online magazine! We thank you for the overwhelming support of the first two issues! It is my desire to produce a monthly e-magazine that keeps you up to date with relevant and interesting topics to jump-start your mind, body and business! With experts from across the US, SpeakIT News welcomes new writers. If you have interest in contributing, please visit the contact us page on the website. We look forward to a fabulous month! --
SPIRITUAL A Look at Happiness by: Robert A. Walker II Overcoming the Enemy Within by: Lawrence Alexander PHYSICAL Toning & Research by: Denise EDUCATIONAL Interview with #theBoss Cameka Smith, founder of The Boss Network Stop Watering Down Your Brand - Adam Jackson Do You Know Your Money Archetypes? by: Kelli Joyce MENTAL A Woman’s Power by: Mattie Whitfield Mind Stability Comes by Letting Go of Negativity by: NinaMotivatesU Photograph by Nolen James
Daily Mind Renewing Steps All Successful Woman Need by: NinaMotivatesU From Editor-in-Chief, AJ I’m Calling All Women - A Tribute to Women’s History Month by: Adam Jackson Speak It Author’s Spotlight Jasmine Holloway, Author, Age 11 Fashion Essential Women’s Accessories by: StylesByDave Entertainment Review of BET’s Mary Jane Paul by: Nolen James Charity Corner Speak It News Staff Our Sponsors Contributors March 2014 | SpeakItNews.com
SPIRITUAL
A Look at Happiness by: Robert A. Walker II (author of “7 Days To Happiness”)
Do you ever remember not existing?
Yes this is a rhetorical question but I believe it’s a very pertinent question to ponder. As we go about our days wondering if we matter or not, wishing and wanting for this or that, choosing to be happy or not, I like to take in account that we can do all these things. The fact that we can wonder, that we can wish and want, our choices, that we are conscious or aware to feel anything at all, that is amazing with in and of itself. We are here, and that fact alone gives us the option to choose how we decide to respond to most things. Happiness is a choice, a choice that most people seem to forget that they have. I believe one of the main reasons is that we are not paying enough attention to what we personally have and thinking more about the things we want that other people have. The internet and social media in my opinion have been great advances to the human race. They have brought the world closer and also have Being able to know about so much now has also made people feel inadequate about the things that they have as oppose to feeling grateful. This is a major issue. The choice of Happiness starts with Gratitude. Most people are Grateful for what they have, yes, but when their wants and desires are staring them in the face and it “seems” as if other people have more of what
they want the though thought of being grateful eful ffor what one has starts to play a much smaller roll in their minds. That is where the change has to come. foundation for true faith and true faith opens the door for bigger and better things. Sounds like a play on words I know but it is the truth. When you start with true gratitude, that means you feel like things are going right for you at all times which builds your faith and you open your awareness to more possibilities working for you which in turn gives you more to be grateful for and so on and so on. You may have to read this over and over a few times until it sinks in. Remember this: Everything is working for you at all times! How do I know, it’s because you’re are here and you exist. Your story is still moving forward, just give it time to look the way you want it to look. In the meantime, be grateful, choose happiness, and do something extra. Every extraordinary person is just an ordinary one who did or does something extra.
Be happy y’all! all! Robert A. Walker II https://www.facebook.com/RobertAWalkerII om/RobertAW A alkerII AW https://twitter.com/happyrobertii yrobertii http://instagram.com/happyrobertii om/happyrobertii
March 2014 | SpeakItNews.com
Spiritual
OVERCOMING THE ENEMY WITHIN by: Lawrence Alexander My focus in these monthly articles is to show how people seek to blame others, circumstances and even the devil for their failures and lack of achievements in life. I endeavor to expose the real enemy that has been keeping us from fulfilling our God given purpose. That enemy is SELF, the sin nature that lies within us; our flesh. The only way to overcome the enemy within is to be born again. The cross of Jesus Christ is the only thing that can destroy the power of Self that lies within us so that new life can live within us. Because of the fall of Adam and Eve, all of mankind inherited the sin nature that keeps us from understanding who we are and why we are here on this earth. The devil has governmental rule over our flesh. He can’t stop our destiny but he can get us to forfeit it and talk us out of our purpose. Many people are victims of Self abuse because we don’t know what God’s purpose is for our lives. If you don’t know the purpose of a thing, abuse is inevitable. It doesn’t matter what happened in our past or present, good or bad, because all the circumstances in our lives have been predestined by God to bring us to His expected end for us. God made and designed you for a specific
purpose, and that is the only way to know why you are here. He must bring destruction to Self before we can go free. We have to invite the cross in, to accomplish the work of destruction within, which is needed to be free from the power of Self. The purpose of the cross is to crucify our flesh. The cross is a deadly instrument and its purpose is death. It is through the power of death that the life of God can come in us. There can be no resurrection without a death. The cross is painful, and many of us avoid or run away from the painful things in our lives, both past and present. Therefore, there is no growth or progression towards our purpose and we become stagnant. The cross is meant to deal with those tender and painful things in our lives that have been hindering us from finding fulfillment in our lives. We have not truly experienced the cross in our lives if we have not experienced pain. After the pain of death to Self, we will experience the joy of His resurrection life. This is the place where you will find a renewed sense of purpose and a fresh outlook on life. There is no such thing as a bad day in the life of a child of God because everything that happens to us will work for our good. It is time to overcome the enemy within! Apostolic Reformers Ministries International ApostolicArmi@yahoo.com
March 2014 | SpeakItNews.com
Physical
Week III - Toning & Research with Denise
In Week 1 you learned about the mental attitude you needed to get started on your weight loss journey. Exercise and nutrition were discussed in Week 2. This week we are going to discuss toning and research.
If you’re more muscular, you need more cardio for weight loss. If you are less muscular, toning should be your goal. Proper form is the best way to see results. Learn to work the movements, and know which movements target which areas of the body.
As the weight drops off, the bad comments from others will get heavier. Rebuild and tone; muscles can be Yes, you will lose weight; yes, you will rebuilt. Work out for your body! look different; and yes, you will encounter people who will TRY to tear down your self-esteem. Just remember why you started this journey; you started it for YOU! At this point, you will incorporate light to moderate weights into your fitness program. Muscle burns fat. Light to moderate weights start those muscles off slowly and build endurance. Toning occurs when you use lighter weights with more repetitions. However, when you use heavier weights with fewer reps, you will get bigger muscles. Research your body. Know what works for you and what works against you.
March 2014 | SpeakItNews.com
Educational
Rocking With the Boss - Interview with Cameka Smith, Founder of The Boss Network by: Marcie Hill When you think of a boss you generally think of someone who supervises another person, usually in the workplace. Well, entrepreneur Cameka Smith has changed the definition, dynamics and faces of BOSS to mean “Bringing Out Successful Sisters.” Her vision was to connect successful professional and entrepreneurial women of color in a virtual network. Specifically, these ladies “are open to sharing their insights and resources and are kind and supportive, having some kind of sisterhood,” reflects Smith. Also, they are not just leaders in their personal and professional lives; they create leaders. In 2009, Smith started the BOSS Network as a way of combining her passions of event planning and bringing people together in a virtual network. Her mission is “to promote and encourage the small business spirit and professional development of women.” BOSS offers two levels of membership, as well as a free-mail subscription. Also, all women are welcome to participate in the monthly, quarterly and annual online and in-person networking opportunities hosted by the organization.
Smith’s relationships with media outlets are additional examples of her success. BOSS was featured in Forbes magazine seven times as one of the top ten websites for women. Black Enterprise and Johnson Publishing are also media partners. These opportunities did not just fall into her lap. “It’s all about relationships. Building relationships is about serving. I helped other people.…. I served my way to success.” Although she has hosted many successful events of her own, Smith’s biggest shining moment was when she hosted the Black Enterprises Conference in Chicago a couple years ago. They had never been to Chicago, and she was on the committee to get them here. Even more exciting were the events that the BOSS Network hosted leading up to the conference..
What is the driving force behind Smith’s ambition?
Smith’s advice to women everywhere: “You can be everything; you just can’t be it all at once. You can be a successful career woman, mate, servant of God. You have to take baby steps to get there because if you try to do it all at once, something is going to fall. You have to be able to juggle a few things at a time until you get your balance. And then you can add more to the plate.”
“I believe that hard work breeds success and I was willing to put everything that I had into this business.” When she started the BOSS Network, all she wanted to do was connect with local, successful professional and entrepreneurial women. Today, her virtual network has grown to over 50,000 e-mail subscribers and 1800 paid members. This local, homegrown venture now has members from Jamaica, London and Puerto Rico.
In addition to managing the BOSS Network, she balances her time by reading good books; being a great auntie to six beautiful nieces and nephews; and watching comedies and actually attending a comedy show every now and then. Smith’s mantra is "Success is not a destination, it's a journey.” Well, successful professional and entrepreneurial women can attain support, resources and more through the BOSS Network.
March 2014 | SpeakItNews.com
Educational
Stop Watering Down Your Brand by: Adam Jackson
Do people continue to ask you, “So, what are you doing now?” Or “What do you have going on this time?” Chances are you have watered down your brand. If your brand was intact and if people believed in you, they would not ask you those questions. And they would not have reservations about you.
4) Remove all fear! It stinks and people can smell it on you.
Let’s think about this. How would I look if I walked outside with eight different hats on my head at the same time? I would look like a clown or just foolish. What’s my point? Perfect one skill before adding other skills. You have to master one thing before you move to the next.
While driving down the street, I often see people dressed as the Statue of Liberty or Uncle Sam. Some are even dancing to music that only they hear. These are tactics that Liberty Tax Service uses to attract attention and clients. I'm not saying that you need to be in a costume but I am saying that you need to be doing things that other businesses are not doing.
Following are six key principles on ways you can build your brand to create the reputation that you need to be successful in anything that you do. 1) Look like what you are selling. If you are selling suits, then you should be in a suit. If you are selling success, then you have to look successful. If you want to be important, then you have to look important. 2) Get a professional to create or enhance your logo. Your logo is the image, symbol or words associated with your business. It is your business mascot and is often used to identify you without seeing your name. What comes to mind when you see golden arches? 3) Always look and feel positive so when people see you, they are happy to see you. Your positivity and greatness resonate without you even saying a word when you walk into a room.
March 2014 | SpeakItNews.com
5) This may sound weird but weird works. There is a phenomenon called guerrilla marketing, and it is swooping the nation. These are creative methods you can use to market your business.
For example, I am known for three things: 1) The sweet potato guy, 2) A business guru and 3) The implementation expert. I earned those titles simply by becoming an expert in each area. I’m the sweet potato guy because I am the co-owner of Jimmy Jamms Sweet Potato Bakery and Café, the only sweet potato bakery in the world called. As a business guru I have personally owned over 30 businesses and have helped save, start and support over 200 businesses. I became an implementation expert when I started teaching people how implementation avoids procrastination. Make your brand strong in one thing. Then, and only then, should you venture off to other things.
My name is Adam Jackson and I approve this message.
Photo by Nolen James
Educational
Do You Know Your Money Archetypes? by: Kelli Joyce
What is a Money Archetype?
Word for the wise: Give generously and get paid extremely well for doing.
Why do I need to know my Money Archetypes? Knowing your archetypes can 1) reveal key areas where you may be giving away your power with money, and 2) help you identify steps you can take to own your value, with confidence and clarity.
• As the Ruler you have the amazing gift of innovating new and exciting growth opportunities for yourself and those around you. The power of this gift is applied when your products, programs, or services lead to double and triple income gains in shorter time spans. What’s even greater is that other people will pay you to teach them how to do the same. Be careful though. Your challenge of feeling that there’s never enough money can be counterproductive and lead to you starting to many projects and not spending enough time to thoroughly develop and leverage the programs, products, or services you already offer.
It is a perfect example of how you do money.
How do my Money Archetypes affect my business?
Your archetypes are a direct factor in your financial leap from five figures to six figures, and even into multi-seven figures.
Here are eight key insights to help you master your Money Archetypes gifts and challenges now! Not sure what your Money Archetypes are? Take the powerful “Meet Your Money Archetypes” assessment for free right now at www.kellijoyce.com/myfreeassessment! • As the Nurturer you have the powerful gift of generosity. This is great when applied correctly to paid products, programs, or services you offer. However, you have to be conscious of your number one money challenge of rescuing and martyrdom. This could manifest as over-giving and not charging your clients enough, if at all.
• As the Romantic you possess the optimistic gift of believing there will always be more. This gift is highly favorable as it can support your momentum and motivation when creating new products, programs, and services for future opportunities. But be mindful of your number one challenge of flamboyant spending, as it could leave your bank accounts in the red, with no money to market your life-changing products, programs, and services. • As the Accumulator you have the rich gift of saving money easily. You’re able to generate many income increasing opportunities with this gift and get great value from your vendors and employees. In order for the money to keep flowing in, you have to part ways with your
March 2014 | SpeakItNews.com
Do You Know Your Money Archetypes? by: Kelli Joyce - continued
challenges of secrecy, lack of trust and generosity. Master this and watch how much more money flows in for you to add to your savings. • As the Connector you posses the bold gift of not overly stressing about money. This is great because you can focus on sharing your powerful work authentically and joyfully. Be very careful though. Being too carefree and detached from thinking about the income generating aspects of your business can lead to getting stuck in your number one challenge which is lack of financial independence. • As the Maverick you have the edgy gift of being a rebel who doesn’t mind taking risks. This gift can be amazing when used as momentum to launch your dream business or program. You have to be more mindful and aware of all the options, as your number one challenge is risking big with the potential to lose big. Ask yourself if this is truly the right program or time to launch. • As the Alchemist you posses the visionary gift of creating ideas. Not only is this gift lucrative when applied to developing your business and programs; your clients will also want to learn how to possess it. Can you say, “Double income in the month?” But hit pause for a minute. While all that’s wonderful, you have to master your challenge of becoming wholly self-supporting. Ask yourself, “How much time do I spend creating?” and “Am I spending enough time marketing what I have created?” • As the Celebrity you have the show-stopping money gift of helping others to make a great impression. This gift can generate a never ending flow of powerful income generating ideas and opportunities for you. Remember the saying “to whom much is given much is required”? You require extreme control of your spending habits as your number one challenge is spending money. Get this under control and you’ll be able to live fabulously over the long term. Visit www.kellijoyce.com/moneymasterybreakthrough to schedule your Money Mastery Breakthrough session which reveals more in-depth information about your money archetypes and how you can instantly double or triple your income in the next 30 days.
Did you enjoy this article? I would love to hear your comments.
March 2014 | SpeakItNews.com
Are you ready to master your money archetype gifts in 2014?
Mental
A Woman’s Power by: Mattie Whitfield
Slouched over the couch, head in one hand, legs frantically shaking out of her control, her beautiful face tightened, eyes begged to water, thinking, “How could he?” Her thoughts spun in circles trying to wrap her mind around the idea that she had just given three-and-a-half years to what she thought was a good, almost great relationship. And now he leaves her with the simple words,“I just want to move on.” All she could think was, “Are you kidding me? What do I do now? How do I move on? I love him…”
Forgiveness is “to grant pardon, to cease to feel resentment against”. Women tend to take on majority of the hurt and anguish. The words “I forgive you” are frivolously released to those that we love when we know deep in our hearts that we have no true intention of pardoning them from what we believe was a dishonor to us. To truly pardon is to never bring it up again. You need to release your pain and not use it to build a wall of hurt that men are expected to climb through.
Most women claim to believe in God but knowingly disregard His law of How many of us have found forgiveness. To paraphrase this law: he ourselves in similar situations? commands us to forgive 7 X 747 DAILY. Full of questions. Feeling powerless to This allows you to start each day with a the relationship that had just been clean slate of love. Communication can completed in our life. Notice that I said drastically improve. “completed” not “broken up”. How do you never feel this way about another Forgiveness opens the door to relationship again? accepting a complete relationship. You utilize your POWER. Power of When you speak of your relationship, say, forgiveness and completeness. Power is “My relationship has completed” instead the ability to do, act or accomplish of “We broke up.” something. Power is only realized in application. March 2014 | SpeakItNews.com
You’re not in pieces and neither is he. You may want to feel like it at the moment; however, if you entered into the relationship complete and whole, you can come out the same. On your relationship journey there were great experiences, memories, things that served you and things that didn’t. You both served your purpose with each other, and it’s time to let go. Don’t tarnish that amazing years you spent together. Appreciate him for being who he was because had he not been divinely connected to you, then you wouldn’t have grown into the passionate, purposeful, patient, persistent and captivating woman the world knows today. Shift the language around your love journey to prepare for the man that chooses you and loves you beyond your wildest dreams.
Words become things; speak love into life. “M.Z. Kaptivate” Whitfield
March 2014 | SpeakItNews.com
Mental
Mind Stability Comes by Letting Go of Negativity by: NinaMotivatesU
Success is first a mindset! If I asked you how many negative comments you hear daily, your answer can be anywhere from one to 100 or more. Why is it so easy for people to speak negatively? Why is it so easy for people to speak negativity into the lives of others? I think it is because negativity is easy. It does not take hope, faith or trust to be negative. It does not even require thinking time. It is just way too easy! I think we all know that the easy route is not always the best route. If you make a decision today to renew your mind for a better life for yourself that would mean that you are ready to take the scenic route and not the easy way out. You are ready to take time to think, control your thoughts and ultimately see better results in your life.
includes negative comments, conversations, people, places and things you are accustomed to. The new mindset requires newness in all areas of life. Negativity is a stronghold. When I think of strongholds I think of something that’s using all of its might to hold someone or something down. In that case, it is easier for negativity to draw you in than it is for you to draw positive things into someone else, especially if they have no desire to be positive. You will have to really examine those things and people that deposit negative thoughts or actions into your life. The devil will use anyone to get to you. You must decide to remove as many distractions as you can to prevent the devil from getting into your mind. It starts by letting go of negativity. To do this, you need to replace it with positivity.
Next month we will close out this conversation by discussing mind stability through positive affirmations.
Now I must say, changing your mindset does not mean that those around you will change. That’s why it is important for you to be prepared to remove yourself. It is difficult for anyone to grow in a negative environment. It is difficult for anyone to change when situations around them seem to get worse instead of improving. You must make a decision to let go of the negativity. That March 2014 | SpeakItNews.com
For more of Nina Motivates visit me at www.ninamotivatesu.com
Mental
10 Daily Mind Renewing Steps All Successful Woman Need by: NinaMotivatesU
Success is first a mindset! For every successful woman, there is mental focus. Our minds are powerful forces of nature. It leads us to success or failure. I want you to be successful. There are simple things you can do every day to help you be positive and to renew your mind. Here are 10 daily mind renewing steps to help you be the successful woman you are designed to be! 1. Wake up with an “I CAN� mentality before you get out of bed every day. (It helps you to increase your faith) 2. Rebuke negative thinking every hour on the hour. (Fight attacks before they come) 3. Declare out loud that you will not allow negativity into your day. (Speak it into existence) 4. Take time to meditate on the positive outcome you desire. (If you see it, you can have it) 5. Remember you control your mind, your mind does not control you. (Power belongs to you) 6. Keep reminding yourself of your desired outcome. (Whatever you keep on your mind, will become part of your reality. From thinking to believing to having)
7. Focus on the great God says about you and not the bad others may say. (Give no one power over your destiny) 8. Have positive affirmations, quotes or scriptures to remind you that you are already successful. (Speaking is believing) 9. State what you are grateful for every day and every night. (Gratitude creates positive thoughts) 10. Be disciplined in following these steps to renewing your mind daily. (Make it a habit) There are many things we can do to renew our mind. With these steps you are waking up mentally ready for success, and going to bed grateful. With these steps you are creating a happy person.
Happy people make great successful people. Dedicate 30 days to doing each of the above steps and by day 31 you will not want to miss a step. It would be a part of your reality as you walk into your success!
For more of Nina Motivates visit me at www.ninamotivatesu.com
March 2014 | SpeakItNews.com
From Editor-In-Chief, AJ
I’m Calling All Women - A Tribute to Women’s History Month by: Adam Jackson
I am calling all women just to tell you that you are phenomenal! And I love you for that. Your strengths have been displayed for many years. We men, think that we are physically strong. However, I greatly believe that our women are designed to endure great adversities, which makes them much stronger than us. We have always heard that behind every great man there's a great woman. Many of the most successful men have the best emotional, physical and mental support systems in their wives, fiancés, girlfriend or partners.
Duke of Edinburgh has Queen Elizabeth II. What about our successful single women? Despite Oprah Winfrey’s tumultuous upbringing, she triumphed without a ring on her finger. She skyrocketed above
abuse, poverty, and unhealthy relationships to become one of the
most powerful and wealthiest women in the 20th century. Susan B. Anthony, an educator, a renowned public speaker, and a devoted fighter for civil rights, was a pivotal player in gaining voting rights for women. Even though she didn’t have the love of a man, Mother Teresa was an ambassador for the power of unconditional love. As the founder of Missionaries of Charity in Calcutta, India, she led a global movement that served the sick, orphaned, dying and poor. True, she was a nun and technically not allowed to marry, but that didn’t stop her from showing the world that a woman could conquer it without a man.
President Barack Obama has First Lady Michelle Obama. Bill Gates has Melinda. Brad Pitt has Angelina Jolie. Patrizio Yes, our women are powerful, but why? Bertelli has Miuccia Prada. Last, but not Women that get ahead often have better least, every king has a queen. Prie Phillip, communications skills; are more likely to
March 2014 | SpeakItNews.com
take initiative; and have a higher degree of emotional intelligence.
They are deeper and passionate about everything they do; they are not afraid to take risks; and they are not afraid to take control. In addition, they tend to write down their plans and visions so they can see them all the time; they always find a way to schedule alone time; and they have the balance that’s needed to be successful. According to a new survey, the genders' differing natures play out in the world of entrepreneurship, too, with women feeling more confident in their success than men. Successful women are rising up every day, and making life-changing, record-breaking moves. So, this is why I wanted to make this call to the women and acknowledge how phenomenal you all really are. Keep up the great works. I love you for who you are and what you do.
Editor-in-Chief, Adam C. Jackson
March 2014 | SpeakItNews.com | 12
Speak It Author Spotlight Jasmine M. Holloway - age 11 Author | Entrepreneur | Aspiring Fashion Designer
Jasmine M. Holloway is an 11-year and Darnell and her charming little old author, entrepreneur, a gymnast and aspiring fashion designer from Hanover Park, IL. She also has her own candle business that she is currently expanding!
brother, D.J.
Her passion for collaborating with other aspiring entrepreneurs came in 2011 when her mother started her own The New Gymnast was written when I creative business and also published a was the age of 9. It is about how my book, The Entrepreneur Within You grandma signed me up for gymnastics featuring 18 contributors. and I am now following in my mom’s Jasmine will be receiving a footsteps! The Rocket Blazers Shooting into Air is her second published book in two years. This book is about three young rocket scientists that traveled to space together to discover their “purpose” in life ~ one friend became a fashion designer, another became a police officer and the third friend became an artist. They had to pass a lot of tests before they could reach their shooting stars and ultimately follow their dreams!
“future leader”
award on Saturday, March 8, 2014 at the G.L.A.M. Foundation’s Women Empowerment Luncheon. For more information, please visit http://bit.ly/1fuFzVW
Visit Jasmine at www.jmhcandles.com and visit our blog at www.tewyou.com today. Be.Inspired and “take a smile with you wherever you go” – JMH
Jasmine is currently working on her third book which is a collection of three different story lines about zombies along with many other talents and passions. She is in the sixth grade and lives in Hanover Park, IL with her parents Julie Portrait of Jasmine by EGayles Image Gallery
March 2014 | SpeakItNews.com
Fashion
Essential Winter Accessories for Women by: David “StylesByDave” (back by popular demand) The bold and beautiful accessories every woman should have her eyes on right now. From fur shoes to leopard bags to brightly colored foulards, these pieces will be game changers for any look in your wardrobe this winter. This just goes to show you can be fashionable in the winter months without sacrificing comfort or style.
Example below:
These gorgeous leather and FOX FUR gloves will keep you warm and the topic of conversation at the coffee shop :-) . Also this Raccoon fur and chain with eternity collar will keep you warm and fashionable. Connect w/ David “StylesByDave” Instagram @ STYLESBYDAVE Twitter @ STYLESBYDAVE Facebook @ David Stylesbydave Email: Dnorth1108@gmail.com
March 2014 | SpeakItNews.com
Entertainment
Review of BET’s Mary Jane Paul by: Nolen James Mary Jane Paul is the female character on the self-titled BET show, Being Mary Jane. The show presents a glimpse into a successful and very single, black woman’s plight of aberrant family woes and her quest for meaningful love.
four-door Porsche and lives in an upscale neighborhood have blind spots? Most people have blind spots, but instead of getting an understanding that would lead to better decisions, most learn to cope with blind spots.
Strong overtones of unwed sex and relationship disjunction is paraded across the screen as the reality of getting older and the sting of being successful and single ring louder than her iPhone, which is Mary Jane’s constant nag to be compromised and invited to exchange her body for moments of fleeting bliss or her money for seemingly gentle and less emotional hostility from the family she openly enables with financial support.
While I cannot claim to be a person without blind spots, I can shed some light on why Mary Jane Paul’s singleness may be just the right prescription for her. Some women who are like Mary Jane Paul find comfort in the chase of big goals and accomplishing them. It is a great thing. The problem is when that type of woman strips away what seem to be non-essential elements as they travel on the road to success. One of the seemingly non-essential elements of this type of woman is emotional intimacy.
One can look at the life of Mary Jane Paul and say that she deserves more than invitations for consensual sex, which seem to pour in only after 10pm or the obvious contempt dished out by her family at every interaction. However, experiencing her current life seems to be disconnected from what she wants. Mary Jane Paul seems to want marriage and have kids, but there are a few blinds spots she seems to sense in her view and unaware of their fullness or how to illuminate the spotty darkness. How can a successful newswoman who drives a
I am not talking about sex. Emotional intimacy is not required for most women to climb the ladder of success. In fact, it can be a liability when trying to run with the big dogs. This is not to say that women who disconnect their daily functions from their heart of emotions cannot be successful and married. This is to say that emotional intimacy usually does not make the cut with the other highly demanding personal skills deemed necessary for success.
March 2014 | SpeakItNews.com
Mary Jane Paul is single and coping. She has climbed the ladder, but found herself wanting to be satisfied in a deep space within where the arms of titles, money and sex cannot reach. Being single may be good for her because it may cause her to search for answers to the self-nagging questions that bubble up when being successful and still single. Singleness can be a beautiful thing just as dating or marriage can be. It is a personal choice to live in either state. Let me get to the point. Women like Mary Jane Paul know how to set goals and reach them with certain efficiency. Mary Jane Paul is currently blind to her exact miss-step away from emotional intimacy as she secretly harbors the effect of being emotionally disconnected. However, Mary Jane Paul has an ace up her sleeve. Remember that goal-setting ability mentioned earlier? Yes. This is the ability to set priorities and do an inventory of current and future state. The steps in-between are filled with emotions among other useful things.
Jane Paul has been invited to rethink and renew her mind to live a more fulfilling and satisfying life. However, it is up to each individual to use the best version of self to discover and align the functions of their life with the desires of their heart. In other words, Mary Jane needs to be honest with her personal boundaries, trust herself, and deal with correcting the alignment between the emotional desires of her heart and her activities in life. She would benefit herself by syncing her words with the thoughts in her heart and her actions with her desires. One without the other can leave a very intelligent person with blind spots and emotionally fragmented. Connect: nolen@nolenjames.com www.nolenjames.com www.facebook.com/nolen.james
We have all heard that women are emotional. Men are too. Emotions are necessary especially when not being used to manipulate, but to indicate an opportunity to care or make adjustments. At times, Mary Jane Paul stops short of feeling deep, emotional connectedness and medicates herself with activities that perpetuate the cycle of being stumped by this blind spot. Emotional intimacy is hard to achieve when trust is not present. Let’s agree that trust is found at the source of a thing or given based on valued information. It is possible that Mary Jane Paul will discover that walking through the door of trusting herself can emotionally connect her from within. Like many successful and accomplished people, Mary
March 2014 | SpeakItNews.com
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