Should We "Cure" Autism?

By Matt Knight

Have I got your attention with this clickbait title?

Good, because this is a question that everyone on the spectrum should consider. Granted, “curing” autism is not something that can be achieved right now. I see autism as a divergent operating system derived from atypical neurological development via genetic and environmental factors, and we don’t know nearly enough about those factors yet. But it is something that I have been thinking about [at least theoretically] lately.

While I have made more progress in spite of my autism than my parents may have ever thought possible and was fortunate to never really have to deal with the bullying that many others go through, I still have lots of issues related to this disorder. This is especially true when dealing with overwhelming sensory input and a lack of self-esteem.

Being high-functioning, I have always felt torn between having and/or wanting a stronger connection to neurotypicals (NTs) while also being envious of them for not having to deal with any combination of the following: 1. Being unable to truly understand the set of unspoken rules about “the way things are supposed to be.” 2. Not having to “mask” all of the time, which consists of the following (at least for me):

· Paying careful attention to facial expressions and body language of others in order to interpret their “intent” more correctly.

· Monitoring my own facial expressions and emotional tone, so I don’t offend someone else.

· Attempting to anticipate what people will say and/or do so that I can say and do the “right” things for each specific situation (so I won’t get “punished”).

· Controlling/disguising stimming behaviors or just attempting to use more acceptable ones (e.g., fiddling with pens/pencils, twirling keys, using squishy balls).

· Hiding or minimizing personal interests/thoughts (i.e., pretending to be a “yes man” and never saying what I really think at any given moment, etc.).

· Attempting (and usually failing) to push through bad/intense sensory discomfort (including, but not limited to, loud/sharp noises and bright lights). 3. Not having weird sensory issues in the first place (i.e., hating light touching, bright lights, loud noises, certain tastes/textures in food, etc.). 4. Having inconsistent sleep.

Like many other autistic people, I’ve always struggled with the cultural message that I’m supposed to “be myself” but also “one of the group,” so I don’t upset those who want everyone to behave the same way that they do. This lifelong conflict still makes me feel like I’m walking on a tightrope over a canyon, where just one wrong move will result in my life being essentially over/worthless, no matter what I do to rectify said mistake.

Even to this day, I don’t really fit in with anybody (even other autistic people, for that matter), nor do I really want to. I just get too tired after socializing for an hour or more. Listening to people talk about random stuff I couldn’t care any less about, in addition to thinking of acceptable responses and dealing with background noise (depending on the circumstances, of course), just becomes too much.

However, that isn’t to say that “curing” my autism would come without negative side effects. The lists below pretty much summarize the changes that would likely occur if I were to “cure” my autism:

Positives of “Curing” Autism: 1. I would socialize a lot more than I currently do. 2. I would hopefully be a much better judge of character than I currently am. 3. I wouldn’t have as many sensory difficulties. 4. I wouldn’t be overanalyzing my mistakes as much as I currently do. 5. Job interviews would be a lot easier as I wouldn’t be as worried about people seeing me as a fraud or a second-rate pretender. 6. I would be less dependent on my immediate family. 7. I probably would become more concerned about the well-being of others. 8. I would have a much easier time finding a job than I did.

Negatives of “Curing” Autism: 1. I would be more open to temptation/peer pressure with regard to recreational drugs. 2. I would be far more accepting of risks that people probably shouldn’t take (i.e., drinking, gambling, taking recreational drugs, etc.). 3. I probably would be less “honest” than I am now, even with all of the “masking” that I do to protect myself. 4. I probably wouldn’t do many of the leisure activities that I do now, such as reading, exercising, playing video games, and watching movies (or not to the same extent that I currently do). 5. I probably would be less intelligent/knowledgeable and/or hard-working than I currently am.

Sadly, despite everything that we have achieved and what we may yet achieve as a group, society will (probably) never really accept us for the brash and unconventional people that we typically are. Society is essentially a concept built upon uniformity around shared unspoken

rules for interacting with others more than shared authentic individualism where we can be ourselves without fear of retribution. Autistic individuals, especially the high-functioning ones, are held to the same standards that neurotypical people are. But we simply cannot meet the standards that society would deem the most important because we don’t have the biological tools to effectively do so.

If push came to shove, I probably would cure my autism, but it would not be an easy decision. I do think that my life would be exponentially better without all of the anxiety related to the “masking” and sensory issues, but I also hate some societal rules and would probably rebel against them because of a different moral code based on a stricter interpretation of honesty. Without autism, I also wouldn’t have the anger from my inferiority complex driving me to prove to every neurotypical that I can at least be their equal, if not better than them. On the other hand, the thought of being treated with “kid gloves” is also insulting and disrespectful because that anger kills our self-esteem the more we give in to it.

While a conversation around whether or not we should “cure” autism is hypothetical, the conservations we have with ourselves and those around us about self-improvement, insecurity, and authenticity are not. At the very least, I hope that you, the reader, start to consider what it is you like and hate about yourself and why that is the case. Authenticity is not a goal that one can achieve in a matter of weeks or months. It is a never-ending process that constantly morphs alongside the experiences that change our perspectives, and maybe something you like about yourself now might be something you hate 3-5 years from now. If you would also “cure” your autism, that is a valid desire as long as you know deep down that you would benefit more in the long term. By the same token, not wanting to “cure” your autism is also a valid desire.

To this end, let me leave you with a multi-layered question: what do you desire, what are you willing to sacrifice in order to achieve it, and would that include “curing” autism?

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